“Wow. I’d always figured that the Minotaur was the brainchild of a drunk Greek poet, not something the Ancients picked up along the way.”

“I’m surprised you even thought about it, Rodney,” John drawled from where he was slouched in his chair.

Rodney scowled at him and shifted around in his seat. “I did have to take a few Lit classes, Colonel.”

“I take it that in your culture, this Minotaur is not a good thing?” Teyla asked from where she and Ronon sat across the table while they waited for their Tesrakan diplomat to return.

“In one of Earth’s cultures, it’s a monster that has a man’s body and the head of a bull and is kept in the middle of a labyrinth and fed sacrificial victims,” John replied.

“And that’s bad because…?” Ronon asked. “If it’s not loose, what’s the problem?”

“I think it’s more the principle of the thing.”

“It’s also the basis for a story of great heroics,” Rodney added, “where Theseus – a hero of the Greeks – goes in and kills the Minotaur, freeing the locals from fear.”

“Doesn’t sound very exciting,” Ronon commented, slouching down further in his chair and resting his head against the high back. “When is Delsan coming back?” he asked Teyla.

“He should return soon,” she replied. “I assume that he’s conferring with the other elders on how to proceed.”

“Yeah, it’s not every day some unknown people come trooping in here asking about their ZedPMs,” Rodney replied dryly. “He even admitted that they don’t use them, so what’s the big deal?”

“Remember the planet that used them as religious objects, Rodney?” John asked mildly.

“I still think they were being stupid,” Rodney fumed, crossing his arms over his chest. “We would’ve gotten much better use out of them than they are.”

“That’s not the point,” John replied.

Ronon banged his head against the back of his chair with a huff. “Why do we spend most of our time on missions waiting?” he asked.

“To balance out the times we’re running around trying to save our skins?” John asked with a quirk of an eyebrow.

The door opened and Delsan reentered, along with the rest of the town elders. “We have decided,” he began, “that if you really are committed to obtaining these…ZPMs that you must past the test of the Minotaur to prove your intent. If things are as you say, you will have no problems and we will be happy to give them to you.”

“I think it’s fair,” John said easily. “If Theseus can do it, we shouldn’t have any problems.”

Delsan held up a hand. “We have not finished. We only need one of you to pass this test. You must go in alone and cannot take anything in that may aid you aside from your wits and your physical strength – not even water or food. We believe that Dr. McKay, since he has been so vociferous regarding these power sources, should be the one to go through with the test.”

Rodney felt his face drain. “Y-you can’t be serious,” he stammered. “I don’t –” He straightened up quickly in his chair and turned to look at John. “John –”

“You’re the one that wanted to come here, buddy,” John replied easily, his expression giving away nothing. “How many times have you told me that genius will always win over brute strength?”

Rodney snapped his mouth shut before another protest could escape and turned back to face forward. “Fine,” he said resolutely. “When can we get started?”

“We can proceed now, if you wish,” Delsan replied.

“Then let’s go.” Rodney stood brusquely, the others on his team following his lead. “I’m a very busy man and I’d like to actually be able to use these ZedPMs in my lifetime.”

Delsan nodded and he, along with the elders, led the way out of the conference room, down a long corridor, and deeper into the bowels of the town’s meeting hall. At the bottom of a steep flight of steps which led into an empty stone-walled room, most of the elders moved to one side as Deslan moved to the center of the room and two elders separated themselves from the rest of the group. On his nod, they searched Rodney and divested him of his gun, tac vest, radio earpiece, and watch, along with three pens, an extra datapad stylus, six powerbars, and three pieces of hard candy. They also inspected his fingernails to make sure they weren’t too long. John raised an eyebrow, but none of them said anything.

“The entrance to the labyrinth is through this door,” Delsan said, gesturing to the door behind him. “Upon entering, you will be completely on your own. You have no time limit.”

“Not counting death,” Rodney muttered under his breath. “I’m ready.” As the door opened, Rodney felt a wave of panic wash over him and looked back and got a reassuring smile from Teyla and a nod of encouragement from John. Ronon was as stone-faced as usual.

“Lights will activate as you advance,” Delsan said, looking at Rodney expectantly. “We wish you the best of luck.”

Rodney bit back a scathing comment and nodded. He squared his shoulders and entered the doorway before turning. “If –” he started.

“Go get those damn ZPMs, Rodney,” John replied. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Rodney nodded, feeling slightly relieved, and turned back to the path in front of him, resolutely going forward and doing his best not to jump when he heard the door click shut behind him. As Delsan had said, light panels turned on as he walked, preceding him like some sort of herald.

Looking around as he moved forward and seeing nothing but gray stones on either side of him, white paneling above, smooth gray stones below his feet, and some shadows every so far – which Rodney guessed were either alcoves or branches of the labyrinth – Rodney idly wondered how quickly it would take for this environment to make him go crazy. He also hoped that the Minotaur had been either chained up or restrained somehow. He didn’t want to die before getting a crack at using the ZedPMs.

When Rodney came to the first intersection, the main corridor met one that went off to the right, he paused for a long moment – debating which direction to take. While the structure above ground hadn’t been overly large, he knew he was now underground and didn’t know how large the labyrinth was. Rodney knew that the odds were very good he could be wandering down here for a very long time without realizing it.

He finally decided to turn right, after glancing between the two corridors a few more times. The one he had been heading down seemed to go on forever without any change. But, as he looked down the one to his right, he thought he might see a shadow partway down which could be another passage. Seeing how he had a one in two chance of picking the right direction and without any illuminating information, he sighed and went to the right. Some action – however wrong it was – felt better than no action and the sooner he found the ZedPM, the better.

Starting down the new corridor, he couldn’t help but mutter, “If she’d have kept on going down that way, she would have gone straight to the castle,” not sure what made him think of Labyrinth at that particular moment.

As he walked, Rodney’s brain buzzed with ideas and thoughts. At first, he tried to calculate odds and probabilities for the labyrinth, but found that he didn’t like the odds and that there were too many unknown variables. He moved on to prioritizing which projects would go first once they had the ZedPMs and which of Atlantis’ systems would benefit the most from the additional power. Once that had been done, he began wondering about the Minotaur and calculating what he was up against. It was hard without any sort of reliable information source – but they all seemed to agree that it was big and frightening, as if *that* helped any. But any attempts at even mental sarcasm didn’t go very far. After meeting the Wraith, Rodney was wary of anything that the people in this galaxy called a monster.

He paused a few more times during his assessment to determine his way as he came upon more intersections and a couple dead ends. But even his prioritizing could only take him so far and soon he found himself walking almost aimlessly and dragging the fingers of his right hand along the wall as he started reciting the numbers in the Fibonacci sequence. It had always been an easy way for him to keep his mind busy while trying to concentrate on something that didn’t require all of his attention.

Rodney’s stomach grumbled and he realized with a shock that he hadn’t eaten in some time. He stopped in his tracks and took a couple deep breaths, trying to keep his mind calm. He knew from experience that he had a few hours from the first time his stomach rumbled before the hypoglycemia would be a real issue, but given that he was – he was forced to admit it – lost in the middle of an alien labyrinth with no access to any food in the foreseeable future, he was having a hard time keeping completely calm. At that moment, any residual fear of the Minotaur killing him was overridden by the fear of dying because of something as stupid as going into hypoglycemic shock.

A noise brought Rodney out of his slowly forming freak-out. It was a faint sound, but it was there nonetheless, and Rodney knew he had to check it out – even if it led him to find he’d gone in a circle and was back at the door he had come in.

Rodney followed the intermittent sounds down the hallway, around a left turn and then two right turns before stopping just before the entrance of a large room. The lights slowly rose and Rodney could make out the two ZedPMs sitting on a pedestal in the center of the room, which he couldn’t help but think was all too clichéd as he noticed the Minotaur asleep on the floor in front of it, and damn, that thing was big. Even curled up on its side, Rodney could tell it was broader and taller than either Ronon or Teal’c. And much more frightening.

Rodney took a few deep breaths to control his unruly thoughts so he could come up with a plan that would include getting the ZedPMs, getting as far away from the Minotaur as possible before it woke up, and not getting lost in the labyrinth in the process.

“Rodney?” John called, and Rodney heard the familiar clumping of John’s boots as he jogged down the corridor.

Whirling around just as John rounded the last corner with all of his gear, Rodney glowered at him and hissed, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

John narrowed his eyes in response and replied in kind, “Saving your ass.”

“If you haven’t noticed,” Rodney said, keeping his voice soft, and gesturing behind himself, “there is, in fact, a real Minotaur in this labyrinth and I prefer to keep him asleep as long as possible. And, aside from the obvious, what does my ass need saving from this time?”

John rested his hands on the butt of his P-90. “Delsan wasn’t completely forthcoming. No one’s ever finished the labyrinth.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Rodney huffed as he folded his arms over his chest. “How long have I been down here?”

“About three hours. Did you hear what I said?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rodney waved him off as he turned back around to study the situation before them. “No one’s ever survived the labyrinth before.”

John’s voice had a dangerous note in it as he said, “I mean it, Rodney.”

“And when have stacked odds stopped me before? Are you going to help me figure this out or are you going to just stand there and glower?” John was quiet as Rodney mentally shifted through various variables and options, discarding most. “How long did it take you to get down here, anyway?”

“Twenty minutes – but I also ran.”

“*Twenty minutes*?” Rodney squeaked, looking at John suspiciously. “You’ve got the worst sense of direction of anyone I know and you made it in twenty minutes while I wandered around for three hours?”

John shrugged. “I’ve always been good at labyrinths and mazes. Plus, I kind of forced Delsan to tell me how to get here.”

“And what if I wasn’t here?”

“I made him draw me a map, but I figured you would be.”

Rodney decided to let the subject drop for now as he turned back to the problem in front of them. “Would you happen to have some Power Bars as well?” John handed him one and as Rodney unwrapped it, he asked, “Any ideas?”

“I’ve always been a fan of the grab-and-go technique whenever possible,” John replied amiably.

Rodney crossed one arm over his body and rested his other elbow on his hand, tapping his lips arhythmically with his fingers. “But what if it wakes up?”

John shrugged. “It’s stayed asleep so far.”

“Or it could be playing us and just waiting to pounce.”

“That’s always an option.”

“You’re really not helping any.”

“I’m more of an action kind of guy,” John replied easily.

“Yes, because your plans do tend to suck. Think we should just go for it?”

“Definitely, especially since I’d like to get out of here sooner rather than later.”

They moved into the room carefully, Rodney in the lead, but John coming level with him as they cleared the door. Carefully sidling around the sleeping Minotaur by its feet, John and Rodney made their way to the pedestal and picked up the ZedPMs, placing them in the pack Rodney hadn’t realized John had brought with him. As they made their second pass by the Minotaur to get out, John brushed the creature’s leg with his foot and in the blink of an eye, the monster was on its feet, towering over them and looking like fire was going to shoot out of its nostrils at any moment.

John held out his hands placatingly. “Hey, we didn’t mean any harm, buddy,” he said in as non-threatening a tone as possible. “We just came to get these ZPMs since we need them more than you do and we’re leaving now.”

The Minotaur advanced a few steps, nostrils flaring, causing Rodney and John to back up against the wall.

“Look,” Rodney said forcefully, trying another tack. “We didn’t do anything to you and somewhere in that pea-brain of yours, I know you know it. So, why don’t you be a good little monster and let us go? We’ll even lead you to the people who did do this to you.”

The Minotaur’s nostrils flared a few more times before it backed up to let them pass. John and Rodney looked at each other, slightly shocked, but wasted no time leaving the Minotaur’s den, painfully aware it was following them. John pulled out the map and silently led them back the way he had come, taking a very direct route back to the entrance.

“Let’s go,” John said tersely to Teyla and Ronon as they exited the labyrinth and they didn’t ask any questions as they fell in step with John and Rodney. None of them paid any attention to Delsan or any of the elders, who approached as John and Rodney exited, but in his peripheral vision, Rodney saw them fall back in shock as the Minotaur emerged from the labyrinth.

They pushed forward without a word as they mounted the steps, the elders’ screams echoing behind them. Once they reached the top step, they sprinted through the rest of the building to the Stargate and Teyla dialed quickly.

As the wormhole dissipated behind them, John looked up at Elizabeth, who was waiting on the balcony, and stated, “Mission accomplished.”

“Good job,” she replied. “Debriefing will be in half an hour.”

John took Rodney’s gear to put away so Rodney could go to the labs immediately with the ZedPMs, for which Rodney was extremely grateful.

“I come bearing gifts,” Rodney announced as he entered the mostly deserted lab.

“Congratulations,” Radek replied, merely glancing up from his computer screen. “Unless it’s a ZPM, I don’t care.”

“It’s two, actually,” Rodney replied as he set the pack on a clean lab table.

Radek’s head shot up – along with the rest of the present staff – as Rodney unpacked the ZedPMs and carefully sat them on the table. And, one by one, they crowded around the table as Rodney began his initial tests on the power sources. Rodney finally shooed them away once they saw that the ZPMs were fully charged and working properly. After giving Radek instructions to not let anyone touch them while he was gone, Rodney set off for the mission debriefing.

Throughout the very quick – and very normal – debriefing, Rodney felt John’s gaze slide to him and linger more than once – which was more than normal the second time he did it. And it was making him nervous.

“Did you want something, Colonel?” Rodney asked as they were leaving, “because your furtive staring was rather annoying.”

“Nope, don’t need anything,” John replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Did you want to get something to eat, or do you have to get back to the ZPMs?”

Rodney fell in step with John and they headed towards the mess. “They can wait a little longer, now that I know they’ll work. Besides, that Power Bar’s going to wear off any minute now.” Once they had settled with their food, Rodney said, “You. Staring. Spill. And don’t say it’s nothing. I know you well enough to know when it really is nothing. This isn’t one of those times.”

There was a long pause and Rodney was beginning to wonder if he was going to have to smack John in order to get him to answer. John finally said quietly, “It just hit me wrong today when Delsan said that no one had ever come out of the labyrinth that had gone in. I know we’ve defied those sorts of odds a lot, but I was afraid that this time would be the time you wouldn’t make it.”

“Oh, for the –” Rodney put his silverware down. “Stop whatever guilt trip you’ve got going, Colonel. I’m fine, you’re fine, Teyla and Ronon are fine. And defying the odds is what we’re meant to do. Let it go.”

“I know. But one of these days, the odds are going to bite us in the ass.”

Rodney was getting worried. John didn’t usually get like this when they were in near-death experiences as a group. True, in most cases said experiences were either on a huge “Atlantis is going to blow up” scale or a smaller “being threatened by scary locals” scale – which, while very real, they had become somewhat inured to. Something must’ve happened while he was in the labyrinth to have shaken John so much. Not sure what to say and knowing John would retreat if pressed, Rodney resumed eating, hoping he’d be able to figure out what exactly was bothering John.

A few days later and things were back to normal. Mostly.

The team had been grounded for a while so Rodney could have a chance to do some work with the new ZedPMs, Elizabeth could force John to get caught up on his paperwork and, as an added bonus, to give some of the newer teams more field experience. The four of them still met as a team for meals and hung out in the evenings – when they could pull Rodney away from the lab.

But Rodney did notice that, whenever possible, John hovered – picking him up from the lab under the guise of getting food (not that this had been uncommon before, but he was now doing it more often), sitting a little closer when possible, and getting underfoot whenever practically possible. It was driving Rodney insane, no matter how good at checking math John was.

“You can stop hovering, you know,” Rodney said one day as they walked to lunch. John opened his mouth to respond and Rodney continued, “I don’t know what you think is going on, Colonel, but nothing’s going to happen to me, so you can just lay off.”

John snapped his mouth shut and there was a pause before he replied, “Okay. I’ll do my best.”

“What is it with you being my babysitter, anyway?” Rodney asked as they grabbed trays. “Because I doubt it’s solely about being bored with paperwork and your love of math.”

“I just have a bad feeling,” John said tersely.

“That what?” Rodney laughed. “I’m going to die from a paper cut?”

John glared at him as he selected an apple and a bottle of water, adding them to his tray before stalking off.

Rodney watched him go, bewildered by John’s reaction to one of Rodney’s inane comments. He also grabbed a bottle of water and followed John. “Look,” he said, still holding onto his tray as John set his down on a table, “obviously this bad feeling is getting to you and since I seem to be the source of it, I’d like to know what’s going on instead of just telling you to get over it or see Heightmeyer. Let’s go somewhere and talk about it. I doubt it’ll fix it, but at least then I’ll know what to look out for.”

“Okay,” John replied, picking his tray back up and following Rodney to John’s quarters. “Why here?” he asked, puzzled, as they entered, the door sliding shut behind them.

“Well, it’s your secret. I figured you might as well be comfortable telling it.”

Rodney sat at John’s desk, while John made himself comfortable on his bed.

“Okay, out with it,” Rodney commanded, two bites into the meal. “And this had better be good.”

There was a long pause before John said, “I’ve been having a recurring dream where you get trapped on a desert planet and I can’t rescue you.”

“I take it back – you need to see Heightmeyer. Colonel, seriously, that’s nothing to be worried about. Factor in the amount of times we’ve been in danger and times we’ve been on sand planets, add in some stress and me getting put into that damned labyrinth, and there you go. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

John still looked troubled, but didn’t say anything else as he ate his sandwich.

Rodney sighed. “What else aren’t you telling me?”

John looked slightly guilty, but didn’t say anything.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. This isn’t the fourth grade and we both know I couldn’t care less about the Air Force’s rules on – well – anything, so,” Rodney sighed, affecting a much put upon air, “out with it.”

“I like you, Rodney,” John finally said, studying his apple as he rolled it in his hands. “I *like* you, like you,” he clarified.

Rodney looked at John in shock. “Seriously? That’s what’s got you so upset? Colonel, your government’s idiocy aside, it’s not a big deal.”

“Not for you maybe.”

Rodney had a flash of insight as to what the real root problem was, but continued in the vein John had started. “And what? I doubt Elizabeth would really care. She’d probably be happy for us.”

“But there’s always someone else.”

“Look, Colonel, there’s always going to be someone to watch out for. You’ve probably had a lot of them already between what you did in Afghanistan and coming here, not to mention getting military command of Atlantis. But they’d be hard pressed to kick you out for something we both know they’d only have circumstantial evidence to support it since you’re going to be discreet. Besides, I don’t think anyone else wants your job – not even Lorne.”

John chuckled and Rodney took it as a good sign to approach. He moved to sit down gingerly on the corner of the bed, and said, seriously, “Look, I do understand where you’re coming from. This is new and big and scary, but believe me – it can be great too.”

“You’ve had experience?” John looked at him questioningly.

“Yes, I’ve had experience,” Rodney replied with a huff. “I’m no Kirk, but I can manage myself fairly well when the situation warrants it – regardless of evidence to the contrary.”

John laughed at that. “I’m sure you could, McKay.” Sobering, he said, “I didn’t freak you out, did I?”

“No more than normal,” Rodney replied. Looking at his watch and standing, Rodney said, “I better get back to the lab. I do have a few things I’d like to get done today aside from quelling any possible mutinies.” Pausing in the doorway, he said, “And I like you too, John.”

Heading back to the lab, Rodney felt relieved now that the air had been cleared between them. Part of him wanted to say he was stunned by John’s revelation, but at the same time, he could see him swinging both ways – given his good looks and Rodney’s more-accurate-than-not working assumption that most guys who looked that good did.

Rodney had been nursing his own private crush for John for so long, knowing that a fair amount, at least at first, had been hero worship, that his brain hadn’t completely caught up to John actually telling him how he felt. And he didn’t let himself dwell on what exactly they were going to do about it. The logistics of it made his head hurt worse than the time his high school math teacher had given him one of the unsolvable problems to see if he could crack it.

“Is everything okay?” Radek asked when Rodney entered the lab.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Rodney replied.

Radek raised an eyebrow. “Aside from Colonel Sheppard acting oddly lately and then the two of you disappearing at lunch?”

“It’s nothing,” Rodney said dismissively as he rifled through some papers on his workspace. “Miko! Where are my lab reports?”

During “self defense training” that night, which Rodney was convinced was just a way for Ronon to beat the crap out of him, though he had gotten better at deflecting at least some of the blows, Ronon seemed to be going easier on him.

“You and Sheppard get things worked out?” Ronon asked.

“I guess so?” Rodney replied, settling in to a defensive pose. “Though I’m not sure what things exactly you’re talking about.”

“He’s been acting weird lately. Like you’ve grown a second head.” Ronon thumped Rodney soundly on his padding as Rodney struggled to block him.

“Oh, that. Yeah, we’ve got that cleared up.”

“Good.” He thumped Rodney again. “Are you going to try to fight back? Because I don’t need you for target practice.”

“Oh, like I’m doing this for my own personal edification,” Rodney replied dryly. “No, I’m doing this because the injuries I get when we go off-world just aren’t enough.” And Rodney figured Ronon’s answering smile as he thumped him again was a good sign.

John and Teyla entered the exercise room a few minutes later as Rodney and Ronon were gathering their things. “Chess tonight?” John asked Rodney.

“Sure,” Rodney replied, gathering the last of his things. “What time?”

John glanced at his watch. “1930?”

Rodney nodded. “Sounds good. I’ll see you in the mess.” As he headed out, he heard Teyla say, “I’m glad to see you and Rodney have worked things out,” and John reply, “Nothing was wrong,” followed by Teyla’s laughter and he couldn’t help his smile.

After playing chess that night, John walked Rodney back to his quarters in comfortable silence. They stood in front of Rodney’s door for a few minutes before John said, “Well, good night,” and made a hasty retreat. Rodney laughed to himself as he went inside, feeling that, in some weird Atlantis way, they had just had their first date.

The second date went much smoother. Rodney appeared at John’s quarters with his laptop and some new movies. They ended up curling up on John’s floor with the pillows and blankets – given the size of his bed and lack of any other real seating arrangement that didn’t include his desk chair. Fifteen minutes into the first movie, they were both on their stomachs and John had his arm lying across Rodney’s back and they were touching along one side. By the end of the second movie, they were snuggled together.

“Is this okay?” John asked as Rodney reached forward to stop the movie.

“Believe me, I would’ve said something if it wasn’t,” Rodney replied turning over so he could look at John. He smiled as he settled an arm around John’s waist. “This is more than fine.”

“Are you sure?” John asked, sounding very unsure. “I just –.” He licked his lips. “I’ve never done this before – with a guy.”

“You’re doing just fine,” Rodney replied. He leaned forward slowly and gently brushed his lips over John’s. John froze and Rodney pulled back. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, it’s not your fault,” John quickly told him. “I was just surprised. Can we try again?”

Rodney nodded and John met him halfway, gently cupping Rodney’s cheek with his hand. Rodney let John lead the kiss, letting him establish what he was comfortable with. John was hesitant at first, but slowly deepened the kiss and Rodney easily followed along, encouraging him by gently pulling him closer and yielding his mouth to him. John slowly explored Rodney’s mouth with his tongue before allowing Rodney to do the same to him. Rodney’s hand wandered down to John’s ass and John pulled back quickly, looking shocked.

“Sorry,” Rodney said quickly.

“It’s okay,” John said with a quick breath. “I just wasn’t expecting that.”

“I should go,” Rodney said softly. “It’s getting late.”

“I’m sorry, Rodney,” John said, sounding repentant.

“Don’t worry about it,” Rodney replied. “I moved a little too quickly and that’s that.” He smiled reassuringly and gave John a quick peck on the lips before turning over to get up. “We still on for chess tomorrow?”

“Yep, we’re still on,” John replied as he also got up, dumping their “nest” on the bed in the process.

Falling into a rhythm with their new relationship was much easier than Rodney had expected. He found John’s hesitancy and uncertainty more endearing than they would be in most people and John was very eager to do things “the right way”, much to Rodney’s amusement. The only downside was that John became more protective of him when they were out in the field. He was very careful about showing it, of course, but Rodney knew John better than John thought he did and he started resenting it.

“You do realize,” Rodney said one evening, as the door to John’s quarters slid open, “that if you keep this up, people are really going to start noticing. Well, more than they already are.”

“And what would ‘this’ be, Rodney?” John asked, looking up from where he had been taking his boots off, as Rodney entered. “And what do you mean, ‘more than they already are’?”

“Your overprotective streak. I think you’re being worse now than when we first started going off-world because you don’t want anything to happen to me. If you suddenly can’t trust me, I think we need to have a serious talk. Are you being serious? At least half the base has thought you and I were together from the beginning. So far it’s worked in our favor because they never actually took it seriously.”

John let his boot fall with a ‘thunk’. “Maybe we do need to have a talk.”

Rodney crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? About what?”

John folded his hands in his lap and looked up at Rodney. “This. Us. I don’t know if I’m cut out for this. Like you said, I worry too much.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t base our relationship – or whatever it is – on a failed marriage and a bunch of space bimbos.”

John quirked an eyebrow and leaned back on his hands. “Are you going to clarify that statement?”

Rodney sat down next to him. “I think you’re being stupid for not trying. And playing chess three times and watching two movies with make-out session afterwards don’t count.” At John’s hesitance, Rodney said, “Look, let’s give it a real shot after we go off-world tomorrow. If then it doesn’t look like it’ll work, we’ll call it off then and never speak of it again, okay?”

“Okay,” John replied.

“Good,” Rodney replied with a smile. “Now, I’ve been wanting to do this all day.” And he leaned over and kissed John, softly at first, but easily dominating the kiss as John opened up underneath him. Pulling away, he asked, “So, what movie are we watching tonight?”

“Come on, Rodney,” John said through the radio. “This is a standard recon and possible meet and greet. We’re not planning on spending a week there.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Rodney said with a huff as he rounded the corner and came into view. “Just because *some* of us view these explorations as a good time to get valuable information and wish to be prepared doesn’t mean everyone else needs to get huffy, Colonel.”

John simply raised an eyebrow. “Someone’s in a crabby mood this morning,” he murmured as Rodney joined the team. “We’re all set, Chuck,” he said into his earpiece.

The ‘Gate started to dial as Elizabeth said from the balcony, “Good luck and be careful.”

John gave her a small salute and Rodney said to John, “I’m not looking forward to a sand planet. The last time we went to one of those, I was getting sand out of my shoes for weeks,” as the ‘Gate whooshed and Teyla and Ronon preceded them through the event horizon.

“Well, isn’t this exciting?” Rodney commented dryly as they looked about, seeing sand in every direction. “No sign of human life anywhere. This is going to be a monumental waste of our time, Colonel. Why did we even come here?”

“Teyla?” John asked.

“I was told that this planet was the site of a great market that is held once every few months,” she said, her tone slightly confused. “I was certain I had calculated the dates correctly.”

“Well,” John said, shifting his tac vest. “This isn’t the first time a settlement hasn’t been right next to a ‘Gate. Let’s look around and see if we can find it.”

Rodney pulled out a Life Signs Detector and activated it. “Huh,” he said as they walked down the steps of the Gate’s base. “I’m not getting anything from this – not even us.”

“Well, we did get only basic intel from the MALP before it stopped working,” John commented. “Must be something in the atmosphere or a magnetic field or something.”

“Thank you for that, Captain Obvious,” Rodney groused.

“Are you okay?” John asked quietly after sidling up to Rodney.

“I’m fine,” Rodney replied. “I just don’t feel very well.”

John looked at him, concerned. “After-effect of the Ascension device?”

Rodney shook his head. “I think it’s the stomach bug that’s been going around.”

John still looked at him speculatively, and said, “Let me know if you start feeling too bad and we’ll go home.”

“Thank you, Colonel.”

They searched until their allotted check-in, at one point breaking off into pairs to cover a wider area around the ‘Gate, but found absolutely nothing.

Rodney pressed the first button to start dialing the ‘Gate, but nothing. He looked up confused, and tried again, but again, nothing. “Well, this is unexpected.”

“Can you fix it, Rodney?” John asked from where he was leaning against the MALP, eating a Power Bar.

“I hope so,” Rodney replied as he knelt down to open the panel on the DHD. “But it’s not like I actually prepared for this.”

“We have every faith in you, Rodney,” Teyla commented from where she was seated on the steps.

“Thank you,” he replied, setting the panel covering aside. Looking inside, he said, “Shit,” and began gently brushing the sand out. Taking out a couple of the crystals, he examined them more closely and found evidence of erosion from the sand. Replacing them, he tried dialing again, but still nothing.

“What’s going on, Rodney?” John asked.

“It looks like the sand got into the DHD and eroded the crystals. I don’t think it’s going to work.”

“So, what are our options?” Ronon asked.

Rodney sat back. “Right now, hope that either one of the non-existent locals shows up and helps us out, or Elizabeth calls us because we missed our check in and sends a Jumper through. Otherwise, we’ll be stuck here for the very limited time we have left.”

“Couldn’t we rig the MALP up to the ‘Gate and use it as a power source?” John asked.

“Not enough power, Colonel. Remember when Johnson tried that and it shorted out and fried his fingers?”

John groaned in sympathy. “Okay, not an option.” At that moment, the ‘Gate activated. “Let’s hope that’s Atlantis.”

“Sheppard?” Elizabeth’s voice came through their earpieces. “Your team missed its check-in.”

“Not our fault,” Rodney replied testily. “The DHD’s broken.”

“Can you send a Jumper through to pick us up?” John asked. “There’s nothing here.”

“No problem,” she replied. “It’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

As they waited, Rodney continued fiddling with the DHD, but to no avail.

A gentle wind started blowing, and John grimaced. “This isn’t good,” he said, brushing some sand off his uniform. “The Jumper better get here before the sandstorm really starts. Those are not fun.”

The ‘Gate activated again and a Jumper came through, positioning itself as it landed so it was facing the ‘Gate. As it finished lowering the ramp, the wind picked up and started whipping the sand around.

“Let’s go, Rodney!” John shouted as he, Teyla, and Ronon boarded the Jumper.

Rodney looked up, shocked that he could barely make out the Jumper a few feet away. He quickly rose and started running, tripping over the DHD panel in the process and knocking his head on something on the way down, everything going black before he hit the ground.

Rodney came to slowly, feeling groggy. He carefully opened his eyes, thankful there was no bright light shining in them. He groaned as he rolled over onto his side and looked around. The medium-sized tent he was in was warm and comfortable, appointed with a few personal belongings – though not crowded by them. He could hear the wind whipping about outside. So, definitely not the afterlife, he concluded.

A young woman came into view and knelt down next to Rodney’s cot. “How are you feeling?” she asked, placing the back of her hand against Rodney’s forehead.

Rodney gaped at her, not having understood a word of what she said. No, he revised, this was definitely hell. “Where am I?” he asked.

She looked at him surprised, and then confused. “Do you not speak Lapran?” she asked.

“I can’t understand you,” Rodney replied. “It sounds like you’re talking gibberish. And maybe you are, just to mess with me, though I doubt I’ve met you before in my life, so I have no idea why.”

She sighed and sat back on her heels, looking confused.

“How many days,” Rodney held out a hand and pointed to each of his fingers, “was I out?” He made a gesture like he was sleeping.

She smiled and touched three fingers, then made a gesture that looked like he was asleep, then awake then asleep again.

“Just great,” Rodney muttered as he flopped onto his back. “This is *just* *great*. Where are my friends?”

She disappeared from his view without answering and came back with a small glass – Rodney was surprised that it was actual glass – of water. As Rodney carefully sniffed it, she said, “You need to drink,” and gestured bringing the cup to her lips. “Don’t worry, it’s just water.”

Rodney tentatively took a sip, and while it tasted slightly off, it did still taste like water. He took a larger sip, his thirst coming back in full force. He handed her back the empty glass and she smiled.

Rodney watched her as she stood and walked to the other side of the tent. She couldn’t be more than 21 by his best guess. She was thin and her long red hair was pulled back in a neat French braid. The dress she wore, while plain, looked like silk. She refilled the cup and filled a plate, but he couldn’t see with what until she returned.

Setting down the food and water, she helped Rodney sit up slowly and arranged the pillows behind him. Pulling up a stool and sitting down, she said, “You need to eat. What you were able to keep down since we found you wasn’t nearly enough.”

“You do realize I can’t understand you?” Rodney asked with a shake of his head and a shake of his pointer finger between them.

She nodded and held out the plate. Rodney took it, looking at it dubiously. “This doesn’t have citrus in it, does it?” he asked automatically. At her confused look, he muttered, “Like you would know anyway.” He sniffed it and gently poked what looked like meat and folded green leaves. He stomach rumbled in response. Rodney carefully ate the meat – which was juicier than he expected and sweeter, like it had been dipped in honey and roasted, but it didn’t quite taste like any meat he knew of. No tingling on his lips or tongue was a good sign and he moved on to the leaves, which were filled with crushed nuts and pieces of fruit. As he finished the leaves and picked up the roll, he realized the girl had been patiently watching him the whole time, a small smile on her lips. He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously, and she merely laughed.

When Rodney had completely finished, she took his dishes and, while putting them away, said, “I know you can’t understand me, but I’m glad you’re here. You’re obviously not with any of the groups we normally trade with and I’m sure you have fascinating stories.” Turning to him, she said, “Let me get my father so he can check you out.”

She ducked out through a flap across the room, and Rodney saw that the tent they were in was much larger than he had realized. Through the opening he also caught a glimpse of more people, but see much before the flap fell shut.

A moment later, the girl returned with a man who looked to be about fifty. He also wore the silk-like material and had red hair, though his was cropped short and he was clean-shaven. “I see you’re finally up for good,” he said with a smile as he crossed the room and sat down on the vacant stool, the girl coming to stand behind him. “Jillian also says you’ve had something to eat as well. That’s good. Your color looks much better too.” He gently poked Rodney in a few different spots, including the back of his head – which was still tender and Rodney sucked in a small breath.

He pushed up Rodney’s shirt and placed an ear on one side of Rodney’s chest and gestured for him to breathe deeply, which Rodney did, and they repeated this for the other side of Rodney’s chest, as well as the corresponding spots on his back. He gave Rodney a warm smile when he was finished and let him pull his shirt back down. He stood and clasped Rodney on the shoulder and said, “You’ll be fine.” He turned and said something to the girl, which she smiled at, and then he was gone.

She sat back down on the stool. “Jillian,” she said, pointing at herself.

“Jillian,” Rodney replied.

She nodded with a smile. Pointing behind her to where the other man had disappeared through the flap, she said, “Kirby.”

“Kirby,” Rodney repeated. Pointing at himself, he said, “Rodney McKay.”

“Rodney McKay,” she repeated, drawing out the syllables carefully.

He nodded and she smiled. “But, please, call me Rodney.” He paused for a minute, not sure how to ask, but finally looked at her sheepishly and said, “I need to use the bathroom,” as he gestured to his groin. Jillian nodded and helped Rodney stand.

Once he was fully upright, Rodney stretched fully, enjoying the tension ease out of his stiff muscles. Pulling his shirt down, he made a circle in the air with his pointer finger and asked, “Where’s my gear?” and gestured as if he had backpack straps.

Jillian smiled and pointed to where his things had been neatly stacked in a corner. She guided him to the chamber pot in another corner behind a curtain.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Rodney muttered under his breath. He went quickly, wondering if it would be too much to ask if he could take a bath or shower – or something. After three days, he felt dirty and didn’t doubt that he smelled like it too. Both Jillian and Kirby had smelled clean enough, so there had to be some way he could manage it.

He stopped himself. The first thing he had to do was see about getting to the ‘Gate and getting home. He was sure that the rest of the team had to have made it home by now in the Jumper. A shower could wait at least that long.

Coming out from behind the curtain, Rodney said, “Jillian, I,” he pointed at himself, “need to get to,” he made hand gestures like he was walking, “to the Stargate,” he made a big circle in the air, “or Ring of the Ancestors, or whatever your people call it.”

Jillian shook her head and pointed to the tent wall, then cupped her ear, before making raining movement with her fingers.

“I know the sandstorm’s still going on!” Rodney replied with a vigorous nod of his head. “But I’ve,” he pointed to himself and then to the wall, “got to get home!”

Jillian sighed and shook her head again. She pointed to the floor, then held up a finger, made a gesture like she was sleeping, and then pointed to the wall and made a circle for the ‘Gate. Then she made a made an all-encompassing sort of gesture and did the rain/sandstorm gesture again.

It sunk in for Rodney and he said, “Oh,” his face falling. It was going to take about a day to just to get to the ‘Gate and the sandstorm was going to be happening the whole time. He’d have to figure this out. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the floor as he tried to figure out how to ask when the sandstorm would let up, when Jillian snapped her fingers. He looked up and she held up a finger in a “wait a minute” gesture and disappeared out of the room.

Rodney tip-toed over to the curtain that separated the room he was in from the rest of the tent and peeked out. He saw Kirby nearby, treating a young woman for a sprained ankle. A number of other people were scattered about the large room in various-sized groups – the men chatting quietly and the women silent as they tended to various chores. Rodney did notice that most of the people in the room had red hair, though a small few had either blond or brown hair and they were all more-or-less beanpole thin. He ducked back into the room when he saw Jillian speaking with a man approximately Rodney’s own age and gesturing with her head towards the room.

Coming in with the man, Jillian said, “This is Kelly.” Pointing at Kelly, then her temple, before making what seemed to be the agreed-on sign for the ‘Gate, she added, “He knows the most about the Ring.”

Rodney gestured between the three of them and then to the wall and making the ‘Gate sign, asked, “When can we go to the ‘Gate?”

Kelly held up a hand as if to wait, then held up a finger, and then made a sleeping gesture.

“Okay, I can wait a night,” Rodney replied with a nod.

A girl poked her head through the makeshift doorway and said something to Kelly and Jillian. Kelly replied to the girl and she disappeared. Kelly and Jillian exchanged a few words and he bowed slightly to her and then to Rodney before leaving.

“Do you want to take a walk?” Jillian asked, pointing to Rodney, then out the doorway, and making a walking gesture with her hands.

Rodney nodded. Doing *anything* other than staying in that room seemed like a good idea at the moment. Then he remembered how much he wanted to take a shower and clean himself up and that he really didn’t want to meet anyone else before then. “Wait,” he said, holding out a hand. “I’d like to get a shower.” He pretended like he was soaping up his body.

Jillian nodded and gathered a few things into a small hide satchel and led him out of the room and through a large common room that branched off into other rooms and a corridor on three sides and a cave on the fourth side. He followed her inside and was amazed at the small cocoons that covered the walls and the evenly spaced lights that provided illumination. A strong, pungent smell assaulted Rodney’s nose as they came into a large chamber and they sharply veered off to the right towards the sound of water before he got a good look at the place.

Jillian led Rodney down a gently sloping path worn smooth in the stone by countless pairs of feet. Rodney tried not to stare at the lights too much as they passed one after another, wondering what they were made out of and what sort of power source they used. Making a mental note to ask Jillian if he could look at one more closely, he followed her into the lower chamber proper.

Looking around, Rodney was amazed. The ceiling was approximately eight feet high and the stone of the roomy chamber looked like it had been naturally eroded – most likely by the river that was cascading down in a small waterfall from the chamber they had just come from. Jillian’s people, many generations ago from what Rodney figured, had used dams to focus the water into two streams – each of which had then been dammed to form a pool – before allowing them to reconnect before they flowed out the other side of the chamber.

The room was comfortably warm and Rodney touched the wall out of curiosity as he gazed around, taking in the warm glow of the discreetly mounted lamps. The stone was warm and dry to the touch, which surprised him, considering the amount of water flowing through. Going over to one of the pools, Rodney crouched down to test the temperature of the water. Jillian roughly pulled him away and shook her head vigorously at his questioning look and pointed at the other pool.

They crossed using the stones in the first pool’s stream and Jillian set the satchel down on the tiny man-made island as she knelt next to it and began pulling out items. Rodney watched her, unsure of what to do, as she set out a large piece of cloth next to the water, a set of clothes – including moccasins – and three different vials of colored liquid. She gestured for him to kneel down and Rodney complied as she uncapped the vials. While he waited, Rodney tentatively tested the water temperature with his fingers and found it to be pleasantly warm. That was something else he wanted to ask about – along with the cocoons and the lights. The first vial smelled faintly of flowers when she held it up to his nose and made a gesture with the other hand to use it in his hair. The second vial smelled earthier and she mimed washing her body. The third one had a slightly minty smell and she pointed to her mouth. Rodney nodded. After gesturing that she’d wait for him at the top of the passage and to whistle when he was done, Jillian left.

Once she had gone, Rodney shed his dirty clothes, setting them aside in a heap before sinking down into the water with a soft sigh. After soaking for a few minutes, Rodney cleaned himself up, the soaps tingling pleasurably on his skin and in his scalp, but didn’t bubble as he had expected. The towel was made of a soft fiber that Rodney couldn’t quite identify, yet was both quite absorbent and extremely soft. The simply cut clothes fit well, even if they were a bit snug in the shoulders and made with something that felt like it was both cotton and silk at the same time and the moccasins were supple and extremely soft, the insides lined with fur. All in all, Rodney felt one hundred percent better.

Rodney debated putting the items back in the bag, but decided against it – not sure how the gesture would be taken – and whistled for Jillian. She smiled when she saw him and handed him a bone comb. Rodney looked at it skeptically and then laughed when Jillian made a gesture to use it on his hair. He quickly did so, taming the tufts that were sticking out in all directions, as Jillian packed up the satchel – Rodney’s clothes going in it as well – and she smiled again when he was done.

At the top of the slope, Rodney glanced around the first chamber. It was larger than the one below and most of it was fenced off. Inside the space was a small herd of what looked like yaks happily chewing their cud in a make-shift pen, bits of plants and oats strewn along the ground. The walls in this chamber were also completely lined with the cocoons. Jillian looked back questioningly at Rodney, who had stopped to gape. Things were starting to get a little too much for him.

Rodney kept his head down as they reentered the tent, suddenly unsure of himself and not knowing how to act in this new situation. Not that he had ever really known how to act around other people, he reminded himself. He hoped he could find a way home – and quickly – before he went crazy here, insane from boredom and not knowing anything about this place. He decided that when they got back to Jillian’s place, he’d collect his things and see about getting out of Jillian’s way. On the way, he noticed that people were noticing him and taking him in, but no one made a move to talk to either him or Jillian.

As Jillian set down the satchel and began taking care of the items inside, Rodney said, “I’m going to get my things and go. Thank you for your hospitality.” When she looked up, Rodney made a gesture of getting his things and then leaving.

Jillian shook her head vigorously and made a placating gesture with her hands.

Rodney shrugged, as if to say, “What am I supposed to do?” and Jillian pointed to the cot that Rodney had been sleeping on. He turned and looked at it, perplexed. At first, he only saw the messy bed he had been staying in the past few days, then he realized that there were quite a few cubbies and bags underneath and around the bed to hold personal belongings. With a sigh, Rodney grabbed his things from across the room and began putting them away by his bed.

The next morning, Jillian woke Rodney early. She placed a finger over her lips and pointed with her chin to where Kirby was still sleeping. Rodney nodded and quietly slipped out of bed. After dressing in his normal clothes – which Jillian had cleaned the day before – and taking care of his morning ablutions, which consisted of more mouthwash and a trip to the chamber pot, Rodney and Jillian quietly ate a breakfast comprised of more of the meat, plus bread and some fruit and milk. Rodney sniffed the milk suspiciously, but it smelled very close to cow’s milk, so he drank it. If he didn’t think about the taste too much, he was able to convince himself it didn’t taste any different. Before they left, Jillian donned a long, hooded robe over her normal clothes

They met Kelly at the entrance to the cave. His pack matched the one Jillian had packed with food, water, and a few small objects Rodney wasn’t able to identify and he also wore a robe. He smiled at both of them and gave them a small bow and Jillian returned it. Rodney quickly did so as well, not wanting to offend either of them. Kelly smiled at him and said something to Jillian, who looked at Rodney and smiled before replying in what sounded like a positive remark. Kelly nodded and headed into the cave.

This time they went left instead of right and down a sloping corridor naturally made from the cave wall and the fence. A couple of the animals came over and eagerly nuzzled Kelly and Jillian’s hands for attention. One approached Rodney, but he flattened himself against the cave wall – to Kelly and Jillian’s obvious amusement. He didn’t care if they laughed; he had stayed away from beasts of burden as much as possible ever since an overly-friendly calf at a petting zoo had cornered him and proceeded to nuzzle his pockets for treats (which he hadn’t had) and then had licked him anyway.

In the corner of the cave, there was a wood door – which surprised and Rodney. Kelly pulled it open and gestured for Rodney and Jillian to go through, following behind them and shutting the door behind himself as Jillian touched a wall lamp nearby. The lights along the tunnel slowly warmed up, revealing a corridor that disappeared off into the distance.

Rodney tensed as memories of the labyrinth assaulted him, but forced them back with the knowledge that this time he had people with him that were willing to help him get through this and get home – or so he thought, not that he had a whole lot to go on, aside from a few hand gestures and the fact that he’d been here for four days and they hadn’t tried to kill him yet. Plus, they *had* rescued him, so that had to count for something, even if he didn’t know why. He felt himself relax and the trio began walking forward.

As they walked along, Rodney studied the corridor as Kelly and Jillian silently led the way. He figured they had to be underneath a layer of sand now, given the sloping grade of the cave. The stones that made up the walls, floor, and ceiling were the nondescript gray color that seemed to be the preferred color for building stones regardless of the galaxy. Running a hand over the stones, Rodney marveled at how smooth they were and how he couldn’t even feel the seams between the stones.

He caught Kelly looking at him and quickly dropped his hand. Kelly smiled and said, “The stones are made so nothing can get through – not even sand,” and gestured with one hand out, fingers together and tried to push a finger of his other hand through without result and shook his head. Rodney nodded in understanding, impressed. He wondered if their people had done this, or if they had had another people do it for them because, aside from the lights, they didn’t seem to have the capability to do it.

After a few hours, Rodney was starting to get bored. The corridor didn’t change at all; it was a simple straight line going on forever. And Kelly and Jillian didn’t talk at all – not that he would have been able to understand them anyway, but having *something* to listen to would have been better than the silence that was weighing down on him. He went through a few of the equations for some of the projects he had been working on in his head, but gave up after a while because he didn’t have anywhere to write anything down. Then he started playing Prime, Not Prime but that got old quickly without someone else to play. He picked a random number and started going through the Fibonacci sequence, but he grew tired of it by the time he reached the 37th place.

He looked at his watch and sighed, they had been walking for four hours and he was starting to get tired and hungry and wished he knew how much farther they had to go. He was about to ask when they came upon a fair-sized alcove that had a picnic-sized table and benches. Rodney followed Kelly and Jillian into it and he sat down gratefully. Kelly and Jillian set their packs down on the table and began pulling out food – bread, cheese, dried meat, dried fruit, and water skins – before sitting down as well. Rodney watched them, curious and unsure of what to do as they started to eat. Jillian and Kelly smiled kindly as Jillian paused and broke off portions of the bread, meat, and cheese and placed them in front of Rodney, along with a portion of the fruit and placed the water skin between them.

Rodney watched them as he ate, forcing himself to match their slower speed. They were still quiet, but Rodney realized that it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence – like it would be among most of the people he knew. He thought back to the day before when Jillian had shown him around a bit. The tent complex had been bigger than he had expected, and it wasn’t odd that the women had only talked when it was necessary. He had gotten the feeling that it wasn’t because these people looked down on their women – the men seemed to value them just as much as they valued themselves – but something else was going on that he couldn’t understand. So, he figured that the silence today was due to whatever the women were up to and the fact that he and Kelly had the language barrier between them.

When they finished eating and the excess food had been returned to the bags, they continued on their way. Rodney couldn’t help it and asked, “Kelly, how much further is it to the ‘Gate?” adding a pointing gesture to the floor, then gesturing down the corridor, and then making a circle in the air for the ‘Gate.

Kelly pointed at the floor and then back the way they had came, then held out his hands about shoulder-width apart and marked off one space before moving his hands to indicate the same space next to it and repeated Rodney’s gesture. Rodney sighed as he translated the gestures to mean they were halfway to the ‘Gate.

Rodney sulked for most of the second half of the journey. He was pissed that he had been stuck on this planet for four days, even if he had been unconscious for three-quarters of the time. He was pissed that John, Teyla, and Ronon hadn’t come back for him. He couldn’t think of a good reason for them not to. While the sandstorm had raged for the whole day before and was still going when they entered the cave this morning, it had to have stopped at least once between the time he and the rest of the team had arrived and now. His mind then jumped to the conclusion that something must be going on in Atlantis to keep them from coming back and searching for him and he began to panic. Zelenka was great, but he wasn’t Rodney. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out, forcing himself to calm down. They had all been in enough close-call situations that if they were in one now, they would get through it and then come and get him.

He hated being stuck on this backwater planet where the highest level of technology he had seen was their lamps – and those they probably traded for with another planet, who had to have a way on and off the world. He hated that he wasn’t home in Atlantis working on any of the myriad of projects they had going. He hated that he wasn’t home with John. Whatever it was they had going was the best thing he’d had in a *very* long time – quite possibly ever – and he wanted to get back to John and see where this… thing went. Hell, he missed practically everyone in Atlantis, if he was honest. Regardless of what most of them thought of him, he did appreciate and respect them, most of the time, and didn’t really wish any of them ill-will.

They arrived at the end of the corridor where there was a grate in the floor and a ladder on one side of the corridor. A small alcove on the other side held a broom, shovel, some buckets, a pole with a hook on one end, and a pulley system. Jillian held Rodney back as Kelly unbolted the trap door above the ladder. After carefully listening for a few seconds, he picked up the pole, pulled up his hood, and, standing to one side, hooked it in the handle on the ladder and pulled down. The door came down easily, bringing a load of sand with it.

Kelly coughed a few times as he pushed his hood back and put the pole back, gesturing for Jillian and Rodney to go up the ladder. Rodney followed Jillian up and into the sunshine. The ladder continued up the side of the ‘Gate’s base on one side, putting them right in front of the ‘Gate, which Rodney supposed was why they hadn’t seen it before. Three short walls on the other sides help kept most of the sand out. Rodney breathed in the fresh air deeply as he closed his eyes and tipped his head back, soaking up the sun.

He noticed that the MALP was gone, and that bit of information gave him hope that the others had been back to look for him and hadn’t been able to find him. Eight hours on foot was a long way to go – even if a Jumper was being used. And it was possible that whatever had messed with the Life Signs Detector would mess with the Jumper as well.

Jillian sat down on the steps to the ‘Gate and began rummaging in her bag as Kelly and Rodney went down to the DHD. Kelly said something to Jillian, and she moved to the edge of the dais without looking up or stopping her search. Rodney smiled when he realized Kelly had asked her to move out of the splash zone. To make sure they were both on the same page, Rodney dialed the ‘Gate, fervently hoping this time it would actually work. When it didn’t, Rodney sighed as he and Kelly knelt down and Rodney removed the replaced crystal panel.

More sand had built up inside the panel and Kelly shook his head as they carefully cleared it away. Rodney took one of the crystals out and gestured that they were supposed to be more hexagonal in shape than smoothly round. Kelly sat back on one heel as he placed his elbow on his other knee and cushioned his chin on his hand as he thought. Meanwhile, Rodney slid the crystal back in place with a little more force than necessary.

Kelly tapped Rodney with the back of his hand as he rummaged through his bag with the other one and pulled out one of the knives they had used during lunch. He pulled out a crystal and pretended to cut it into shape before looking up at Rodney with a questioning look.

“It’s an interesting idea, but I don’t think that’ll work,” Rodney replied with a shake of his head. “The Ancients made them to be a certain size,” he put his thumb and pointer finger on the top and bottom of the crystal in Kelly’s hand and then transferred that size to its hole. “The reason the DHD isn’t working is probably because the sand,” Rodney picked up a handful of sand and let it slip through his fingers, “has already worn away too much of the crystals,” he made the space between his fingers smaller, “so they don’t connect and activate when someone tries to dial the ‘Gate.” He pretended to dial the ‘Gate and shook his head. “If we take off more,” he pretended to cut the crystal, “we’ll probably render them completely useless.” He made his fingers even smaller and shook his head.

Kelly thought about it for a moment and nodded, replacing the crystal with a sigh and resumed his thinking pose.

They went back and forth for a while – trading ideas, checking the power source (which was fine) but nothing worked. It was slow going, with having to rely on using hand gestures to simply communicate and also having a completely different way of looking at and explaining things, but Rodney found Kelly to be easy to work with and it seemed like he actually knew what he was talking about.

After they had been at it for a few hours, Rodney forcibly threw a crystal in disgust at their lack of progress and it shattered against the base of the ‘Gate. Kelly stared at him for a moment and began laughing.

“What?” Rodney asked in confusion. “What’s so funny?” Kelly just shook his head and continued laughing. Rodney wasn’t sure why it had been so funny, but felt some of his tension ease and couldn’t help but smile himself, even if they were still no closer to finding a solution and now short one crystal.

A light breezed picked up and Jillian called something to Kelly. He nodded and replaced the panel on the DHD as Rodney, sensing it was time to leave, gathered up their gear – putting his things back in his vest and his pack and Kelly’s in his bag before following him back to the ‘Gate. Jillian led the way down the ladder with Kelly bringing up the rear again, closing up trap door behind him, the wind and sand picking up as he did so.

He bolted the door shut as Jillian began sweeping the sand into the grate. Rodney quickly grabbed another broom and helped, for which she smiled at him in thanks. After they had finished, Jillian gestured that there was a bin beneath the grate that when it got full, it would be pulled up to the surface and dumped.

Once Jillian and Rodney had cleaned all the sand up and put the brooms away, the threesome started the walk back to the camp. Rodney’s mind whirled the first half of the way back, still trying to figure out what they could use to trick the DHD into using what was left of the crystals and what he could use in place of the shattered crystal.

When they reached the picnic alcove, Rodney still wasn’t any closer to figuring out an answer, but felt rejuvenated at having a practical problem to work on. He enjoyed the theoretical work, but practical, hands-on things had always been more interesting to him. But as he started eating, he couldn’t get away from the physical reality of how tired he was. He considered attempting to ask if they could rest there for a while, but as they were finishing up the meal, Jillian pushed something that looked like a few chocolate squares towards Rodney and made a motion for him to eat it, a wide awake gesture, and then made a walking motion and pointed in the direction they were going. Rodney nodded and ate them, finding that they did have the texture of chocolate squares and were sweet, but tasted like nothing he could easily identify. The rest of the walk back went by easily, Rodney feeling like he had drunk a cup of coffee as the candy entered his system.

When Jillian and Rodney got back to Jillian and Kirby’s quarters, Rodney shifted uneasily and said, “I should go,” pointing out into the common area.

“Where?” Jillian asked, looking around and holding her hands out and palms up, before looking at him in confusion.

Rodney shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t want to burden you any more. I’ll just find somewhere out there,” and pointed back into the main part of the tent again.

Jillian shook her head and pointed to Rodney and then to the cot he had been using before pointing to the floor. Kirby came in at that moment and asked Jillian a question. She responded and he nodded. As he turned to go, tent flap in hand, he turned and asked her something else, chin jutting out to Rodney. She rolled her eyes and replied, Rodney figured she was telling Kirby their topic of discussion. Kirby looked at Rodney over his other shoulder with a chuckle and pointed at him and then the bed.

Rodney held up his hands in surrender as he started walking towards the bed. “Okay, I guess I’ll stay.” Kirby and Jillian laughed and Kirby left while Jillian set about doing some chores. Rodney neatly stowed his vest and his pack at the end of the bed and slipped off his boots and set them neatly at the end of the bed as well. He still marveled at how neat he had become off-world, knowing that it was only due to John continually forcing him to do it and one instance of finding Ford had stuck all his things up in a tree (“just for safe keeping from any bears, Doc”).

Physically tired, yet still mentally wide awake, Rodney wandered out into one of the common areas. A few people were still awake, though not many and no one seemed to take notice of him. He watched Kirby for a while as he worked on organizing various plants and making a few things with some of them between helping a few people with minor, routine medical problems.

But even that got boring and even more voodoo than Carson’s craft and Rodney’s mind started to wander before trying to figure out the chances of Atlantis rescuing him. He had figured out that this planet had the same 27 hour rotation that Lantea did. He knew that the break in the sandstorm hadn’t come the day before, but had lasted for three hours today. Sighing, he realized he’d have to wait until the next break before he could even begin to have an idea of their odds.

Rodney began pacing sullenly. He knew that they wouldn’t just let him leave the next time the ‘Gate opened – which he completely understood. But, if he was stuck here, how long would it take for them to trust him enough to let him either leave or get a message back to Atlantis? He sighed. Probably too long.

Rodney tried to stay positive as he continued pacing, but he began worrying about all the possible scenarios that could happen while he was waiting to leave this godforsaken planet. They could accidentally kill him with citrus products. Or he’d starve to death. Or they’re really cannibals and they’ll kill him and eat him – they are pretty thin. Or they’d sell him to slave traders. Or –

Rodney felt himself start sweating, his heartbeat speed up and his breathing become shallower. He tried to calm himself down, but the knowledge that his body was starting to go into hypoglycemic shock just made things worse. He felt his knees go out and as he sank to the floor, he felt the darkness close in.

Rodney woke up with a groan. This was an all too familiar feeling. Soft voices nearby hushed each other. Rodney slowly sat up with the aid of some gentle hands. He dry-scrubbed his face and sighed before opening his eyes.

“What happened?” he asked no one in particular while making a pointer finger go around in a lazy circle.

“You passed out,” Jillian said. “My father says he has seen this happen before, so we fed you some sweets and you came around.” She showed him the candies and he gingerly sniffed one before taking a tentative bite. It was extremely sweet and dissolved quickly on his tongue.

Rodney nodded his approval as he looked at Kirby. “Good thinking,” he said, eating the rest of the piece. “Now, I need a sandwich.” He mimed eating something. Kirby nodded and handed him a plate with some fresh meat, fruit, and bread. Rodney ate quickly with Kirby watching him like a hawk. When he was done, Jillian took the plate from him and Rodney said, “Okay, I think I’m good here, please go about your business.” He pretended to push the intrigued crowd away. Jillian helped him up and, when Kirby seemed satisfied that Rodney wasn’t going to fall over any minute, took him into their quarters.

“I need to shave tomorrow,” Rodney said, imitating shaving his beard.

“Yes, after you get some sleep,” Jillian replied with a nod.

Laying down in his bed, Rodney asked, “Do a lot of people come through the ‘Gate?” Rodney moved a finger back and forth between them before spreading his arms wide, then made a circle for the Ring, a few hand walking steps and pointed to the floor.

Jillian shook her head and placed her hands about a hand span apart, which Rodney took to mean a small amount. She then put a finger to her lips before placing her hand over his eyes. Rodney didn’t need to do any translating to know she was telling him to be quiet and go to sleep. He sighed as he turned on his side facing the room and pulled up his blanket. Jillian dimmed the nearby light and went back out into the commons. Rodney tried to stay awake so he could start planning a way home but was soon asleep.

It took Rodney about a week to figure out that the sandstorm was on a regular 72 hours on, three hours off, cycle, the first day of his captivity notwithstanding (he still had to figure out where that anomaly came from). And from there, it didn’t take long for Rodney to figure out that there was probably no way in hell that Sheppard or Elizabeth or anyone else on Atlantis would be able to figure out how to get to him; or, at least not in the time he knew Elizabeth would give them to look for him.

During the course of figuring out the sandstorm’s schedule, Rodney also mapped out the common areas of the complex – which was much larger than he expected – to have an idea of how things were laid out. He even calculated possible weak spots and ways of escape – which, once he realized he was doing it, made him think of John and Ronon and he felt a tinge of sadness. Not that he’d survive long out in the desert, but he knew it was better to be aware of these things.

He found that the complex also had rooms for preparing either yarn or thread, Rodney wasn’t quite sure which and weaving the thread into cloth, as well as a section of the caves beyond the pools that were used to make glass. It hit him as he left one of the weaving rooms that he knew where the raw supply was coming from – the cocoons on the walls of the cave must be some sort of silkworm.

Rodney was surprised that they let him have free rein to wander around during the day. True, it wasn’t exactly as if he could go anywhere else and they spoke a different language, but he was still a foreigner and hadn’t done anything to show them they could trust him. And that train of thought reminded him of Teyla and her reminders when they went off-world.

The people Rodney came in contact with were generally nice and displayed a lot of the same physical traits that the people in his area did – predominantly red hair and thin as a rail. And he felt that they were actually too nice. They always smiled when they saw him, and a few would even wave. Some tried to talk to him, but Rodney had to sheepishly shrug and tell them he didn’t know what they were saying – then they would just shrug and shoo him off with a smile. But no one looked at him distrustfully or with any sort of malice – only a warmth he wasn’t used to and a muted curiosity, as if they would find out whatever they wanted to know about him in due time. And the kids seemed to be especially curious of him and would continually come over to him and ask him questions, even though he had no clue what they were saying. He hoped the relief he felt when the parents called the kids back didn’t show too evidently on his face.

Since he lived so close to the entrance of the caves, Rodney saw that after the next break in the sandstorm, a little over eight hours later, new people appeared in the entry of the tent. Kirby would meet them, and then direct them to where they needed to go before returning to his work. Rodney asked Jillian about them and she told him they were traders from other planets, come to do business.

After thinking things through after the second sandstorm had finished and the ambassadors had arrived, Rodney decided to hitch a ride with them when he left. He knew it would be easy enough to turn around once he got to another planet and go back to Atlantis from there – provided the people he went with didn’t care, or he was able to avoid detection, which was highly unlikely.

A few hours before the next break in the sandstorm was due, Rodney was waiting by the door to the tunnel, clothed in his BDUs with his gear ready to go. He greeted the leaving party with a slight bow, opened the door for them and shut the door behind himself before following behind them. The men looked at him with raised eyebrows, but said nothing as they started walking. The three men paid little attention him as they walked, talking quietly amongst themselves, and Rodney, for once, had no problems with not being included in the conversation. He simply needed a way off this damn rock so he could get home. As he walked, Rodney began going through different scenarios he could use to get through the ‘Gate, from jumping through at the last moment to just walking through along with the rest of the group, weighing the odds of each.

He was still weighing his options, including ones that involved taking hostages, and wondering if he could pull those off, when they stopped to eat. One of the men raised an eyebrow at him while they pulled out food, but Rodney smirked a little as he pulled out the food he had stored away in his pack – which had been surprisingly easy to get a hold of. They were finishing up the meal when Kelly and Jillian showed up, both looking a little winded. Jillian looked furious while Kelly’s understanding look was mixed with an expression that Rodney could only translate as, ‘You’re totally in trouble’.

Rodney watched as there was a flurry of exchanged words between the two groups. While the tone on both sides was urgent, it didn’t sound angry. Then Jillian grabbed Rodney’s hand and hauled him up and started stalking back the way they had come down the corridor, at one point pushing him forward to walk in front of her, with Kelly bringing up the rear. When they got back to the tent, Jillian marched Rodney into their quarters and pushed him down on his bed with a glare and stormed out.

Rodney stayed put, not sure what kind of trouble he was in. A few minutes later, a girl came in with some food and water for him, but other than that, Rodney saw no one before falling into an exhausted sleep not long after he finished eating. The next morning, the incident seemed to have been forgotten by Jillian, which both puzzled and relieved Rodney.

Realizing that now any chance he had of leaving had been effectively quashed, Rodney sulked. He missed Atlantis more than he thought possible – even more than when he’d been stuck at Area 51 after the Asurans had forced them out of Atlantis. There was a possibility of going home, which was how he thought of Atlantis, and no way of acting on it. There wasn’t even a way of sending them a note saying, ‘I’m all right. They’re holding me hostage, but I’m working out an escape plan. Keep the lights on.’

Jillian and Kirby tried to engage him in talking, but to no avail. Kelly stopped by a few times over the next couple of days to see him and once tried to teach him a game, but Rodney wasn’t interested. He even started eating less – partly because he honestly wasn’t hungry, which he knew was an oddity for him, and partly because he was considering seeing how far he could go before they’d be willing to negotiate his going home in order to end his hunger strike.

A week into his sulk, Rodney wandered down into the caves to get away from everyone and their concerned glances. It seemed like Kirby and Jillian were telling everyone what was going on and, while he would have loved the attention if he was home, among strangers Rodney just didn’t want to deal with their concern when he was feeling so depressed. He began pacing in front of the pools, the sound of the water soothing him and helping to anchor him.

“Look,” he said to thin air as he continued pacing, “I know you’re not real, and even if you were, why you would come – or would that be come back? – with us to the Pegasus Galaxy. But if you are real and you are here, could you *please* do something about getting me back to Atlantis? We both know that I don’t deserve to be stuck here and that Atlantis needs me much more than these people do. And I highly doubt this is some sort of practical joke on your part. So, what kind of deal can we make, hmm? Because, did I mention the spectacular unfairness of this whole situation I’m in?”

A scuffing noise behind him had Rodney whirling around to find Kelly on the path leading down into the chamber. Kelly had an amused look on his face as he looked around the otherwise empty room.

Rodney gave him a withering look as he said, “Can’t a man do *anything* in private in this place? Seriously, I give up.” He threw his hands up in the air in disgust. “I can’t even properly cuss out God without someone butting in.” Holding his hands out to his sides with the palms up, he asked, “What do you want?”

Kelly simply cocked an eyebrow as he entered the rest of the way into the cavern and Rodney could have sworn the look was exactly the same as John’s ‘Are you done yet?’ expression.

“I think I’m done,” he said, walking over to Kelly. “It’s not like I’m going to get an answer anyway.” They returned to the camp in comfortable silence, but Rodney wasn’t so sure the prematurely-ended rant had really done anything to ease his dissatisfaction at being stuck there.

Entering the tent, Kelly held up the pouch containing the dice game he’d been trying to teach Rodney. “Sure,” Rodney replied with a noncommittal shrug and a quick nod. “Let’s play. It doesn’t look like I’m going anywhere anytime soon and I have nothing better to do.”

As Kelly set it up, Rodney heard Jillian talking with – or, more accurately, at – a small relative of hers. Rodney was pretty sure the toddler was a cousin, but he wasn’t completely sure. She was repeating the same thing over and over again and, after a while, Rodney began to assume she was asking him to name something and telling him what it is, since she had been doing the same thing the day before. Looking up from the dice, he saw that it was the spoon she had been using for the exercise the day before and muttered under his breath, “It’s a spoon,” using the Lapran word for it, “it’s not that big of a deal.”

Kelly looked up at him with a confused look on his face. “What did you just say?” he asked.

“What?” Rodney asked, turning his attention to Kelly.

“You said ‘spoon’ – in my language.”

“You know I can’t understand you,” Rodney said tersely as Kelly called Jillian over. She came with the spoon and child and sat down next to Rodney and Kelly, a confused look on her face.

Taking the spoon from her and holding it up, Kelly asked Rodney the same question Jillian had been asking the little boy, “What is this?”

Sensing what Kelly was up to, Rodney sullen replied, “A spoon.”

Both Kelly and Jillian grinned and Kelly tapped Rodney on the nose with the convex side of the spoon before handing it back to Jillian as he said to her, “See, I told you he said it.”

Gesturing to the three of them and pointing at the spoon, Rodney said, “So this was all about me?” as he pointed to himself.

Jillian shook her head ‘no’ as she pointed to the little boy seated in her lap and, with a frustrated sigh, said, “I’m trying to teach my cousin to talk and he’s being rather stubborn – just like everyone else in his family.”

Rodney stared at her and the child, who was grinning like he knew exactly what he was doing, for a minute before realizing that it really didn’t have anything to do with him. “Oh,” he said, not sure how to pull his foot from his mouth.

“Do you want to learn?” Kelly asked, pointing at Rodney and then at the spoon.

“I don’t understand,” Rodney replied.

Kelly sighed, took the spoon from Jillian and held it up.

“Spoon,” Rodney replied instinctively. When Kelly held up one of the dice, he shrugged helplessly and said, “I don’t know.”

“Die,” Kelly said.

“Die,” Rodney repeated and Kelly and Jillian smiled. Kelly smiled and pointed at Rodney, then held up two fingers and touched a finger to his lips. “Yeah, I guess I do know two words now. Like *that’s* really useful.”

Jillian rolled her eyes and said, “I’ll start teaching him tomorrow, Kelly.” Looking at Rodney, she gestured between the two of them, then made a gesture for one sleep, and then moved her hands back and forth between the two of them as if they were talking. Rodney nodded. “If you tried to do it, he wouldn’t be able to string two words together.”

Kelly made a face at Rodney and her, and the kid, who had moved off of Jillian’s lap and was now playing with the forgotten dice, laughed. “We better get to bed,” he said, standing.

Rodney and Jillian also stood, Jillian sighing as she gathered up the little boy who was shaking his head and digging his heels into the floor when Jillian tried to move him. She swung him up into her arms and headed out, followed by Kelly, who gave Rodney a small bow – which Rodney returned before quickly changing into his pajamas before Kirby or Jillian had a chance to come in. He rinsed his mouth out with their home-made mouthwash and spit it out in the chamber pot before climbing into bed. Kirby came in as Rodney finished getting settled and gave him a big smile before getting ready for bed himself.

The next morning started a pattern that began to mold Rodney’s new life. In the morning, over breakfast and for a little while afterwards, he’d work with Jillian on learning their language. Then, while she was at work – which, from what Rodney could gather, was in the glass department where she made cups and bowls, Rodney was free to do as he pleased. This meant that he didn’t do much, since he had no idea what he was allowed to do, what sort of work his capabilities would best suit him to on such a low-technology planet, or how he could ask, with his limited linguistic knowledge. He usually ended up wandering around the complex or down into the caves, the days blurring into each other easily.

He did try staying put one day outside their quarters, but the only thing to do there was watch Kirby treat people and Rodney considered Kirby’s practice to be much more voodoo-related than even Carson’s, so he paid it little mind. However, he did listen in a little bit, trying to practice the language. The steadily increasing pool of random words he could understand was heartening, but in some cases utterly ineffectual when it came to expressing ideas or abstractions – which frustrated him to no end.

Kirby did seem to like him and not mind that he was taking up some of their limited space. Rodney even got the impression that Kirby might have even been a little amused with him. He would even try to engage Rodney in conversation whenever he got the chance, much to Rodney’s frustration. And Rodney was finding that he liked Kirby, even if he didn’t understand ninety-five percent of the things Kirby told him. His imposing stature kind of scared Rodney – much like Ronon’s had when he had first come to Atlantis.

When Jillian came home, she would work some more on the language with Rodney, but more for review than to learn anything new, while she made dinner and Kirby made ‘house calls’. After dinner, Kelly would usually come over and play a game of dice to try to get Rodney to use as much of his vocabulary as he could.

One night, Rodney started, “I… um… I need…” He made a small gesture of holding something in his hand and pulling it towards himself as he searched his brain for the words. “I… no….” He grimaced as he kept coming up blank. Trying a different tactic, he said, “Jillian – glass. You –” Rodney waved a hand at Kelly, who was waiting patiently for him to finish, “yaks. Kirby –,” Rodney made a sick face. “Me –,” he shrugged his shoulders hopelessly.

Kelly thought about it for a minute and then smiled. “You *need*,” he repeated Rodney’s motion of cupping something and pulling it towards himself, “to just ask,” he gestured between the two of them, “anyone,” he made an all-encompassing gesture, “and they’d be happy to have you help.” He made a two-handed gesture like he was handing something over.

Rodney considered both Kelly’s gestures and the little he understood of what Kelly had said, then nodded before taking his turn.

The next morning, Rodney felt a certain optimism he hadn’t felt since coming to this planet as he exited the quarters he was sharing with Kirby and Jillian after his morning lesson. He resolutely went over to Jean, who seemed to be the “den mother” of their little cluster of rooms; she was an older woman who, as far as Rodney could tell, had no husband or children, young ones at any rate, and she tended to cook a midday meal for everyone who lived in their cluster (Rodney had noticed that people tended to go home for lunch instead of taking it with them to their worksite). She also did small odd jobs for those in her “care”, such as mending clothing, lending an ear to talk to if Kirby was busy, and watching and teaching the younger children while their parents worked.

She looked up at him curiously as she straightened up from helping one little girl with a stitching project. “Yes, Rodney? What can I do for you?” she asked.

“I want… um… I want to help you,” he said, nervously.

She smiled and nodded. “I’d greatly appreciate it.” She went over to the fire and picked up a pail. Handing it to him, she said, “I need more yak chips for the fire,” and pointed to the fire.

Rodney sighed as he headed down to the corral to get the requested item. It would figure that his first job would be retrieving dung. He had come to the conclusion pretty quickly that the stuff had to be treated with something that reduced the smoke and odor and made it last for a fairly long time.

Sighing again, he set the pail up on the railing and called, “Kelly!”

Kelly came over and grinned when he saw the pail. “I see you found someone to help,” he said, taking the pail. “How much?” and placed a finger at various points on the pail.

Rodney shrugged. “Jean wanted...” he thought for a minute, “it.”

Kelly nodded and took it over to one of the large bins they used to hold the unpleasant stuff and filled the pail halfway. Bringing the pail back and handing it over with a smile, Kelly said, “Have a good time.”

Rodney rolled his eyes as he took the pail and left with a sarcastic wave.

Jean smiled at him as Rodney put the pail back, but she didn’t interrupt the story she was telling to the group of enrapt kids. Rodney sat at the back of the group and, while he could only understand tiny pieces, he couldn’t help but smile at how engrossed the kids were. By the way they reacted to the story, he could see it was one that they knew but still loved every time they heard it. When she finished telling the story, Jean asked a question and hands shot up in the air. Rodney chuckled – some things apparently never changed, regardless of the time or galaxy.

When the kids were given a short break, Rodney made to stand, but Jean waved him back down. She brought over a large pot with water and a basket of dried vegetables. She pulled a knife out of her apron and picked up one of the vegetables into the pot before handing the knife to Rodney with an expectant look on her face. Rodney nodded and sighed – kitchen duty. He began cutting up the vegetables as she had and adding them to the pot.

Stirring the beginnings of the soup when he had finished, Jean said made a face, “Not bad for a first time,” and handed over some yak jerky for him to tear up and add in as well, along with some spice pouches.

Rodney carefully tore up the meat and added it in, mixing it in with the vegetables. Then he carefully sniffed the pouches and added a tiny bit of a potent-smelling spice and a generous pinch of a sweeter-smelling one. He mixed it together thoroughly before taking it over to the fire and hanging it on the hook over top of it.

Jean looked at him questioningly as she took the pouches from him and leaned in to taste it. She grimaced and said sternly, “You used too much,” and held up the pouch of the sweet spice, “not so much next time.” She took another spoonful and held it out for Rodney to taste. He did so and grimace as well at the sweetness. “ I think I can salvage it,” as she added some more of the more potent spice and mixing it in. Tasting it again, she shrugged. “It’ll have to do.” She handed him another spoonful and Rodney could taste the difference – the sweetness had gone down a notch or two and he could taste a spicy undercurrent – kind of like curry powder.

Rodney, not completely sure what she had said, looked contrite and said, “I’m sorry.”

“We will have to be more careful next time,” she said, waving him to sit down next to her. “You may be a man, but in our ways you are very much a child and will need to be taught as such.”

Rodney wasn’t sure how to respond to that and said, “I hope you’re right.”

“I am,” she replied with a smile. “And one day you will look back on this and see how far you’ve come.”

The kids came back and Jean began teaching them again – this time in some sort of recitation exercise as Rodney watched the soup and stirred it occasionally. When they were done, Jean said something to them and they all looked at Rodney with a mix of surprise and glee and Rodney was scared of what she had told them. They disappeared into their homes as some of the adults began drifting back from work and Rodney realized it was lunch time.

Everyone collected their lunch utensils and lined up to get the soup. Jean made Rodney dish it out as she passed out small hunks of bread that had mysteriously appeared. He suspected that the duty was a mix of letting him continue to help and so that the others could see that he had made the soup. Once everyone had received their share, including Jean, Rodney retrieved his own things and served himself lunch, moving to eat by himself and watch everyone else eat and socialize.

“Not bad,” Kirby said, sitting down next to him with a smile, and pointing at the soup with his spoon.

“Yeah, well, let’s make sure it doesn’t kill anyone first,” Rodney commented as he ate another spoonful, thankful that the soup hadn’t turned out too horribly once it had been allowed to cook for a while.

“If you decide this isn’t what you want, you could help me,” Kirby commented.

“I don’t think so,” Rodney replied. “I don’t have the... the....” He tapped his forehead and Kirby nodded in understanding. “Besides,” he muttered under his breath, “I don’t want to have to deal with Carson’s taunting after all the voodoo comments I’ve made about *his* medicinal practices.”

After lunch, Rodney helped Jean clean up and even carted things down to the pools to wash everything out. He learned, haltingly, that the classes were only held in the mornings, so he sat back down to help her prepare things for her dinner and the next day’s lunch. He prepared the vegetables and held the pouches open while Jean filled them with the spices she had prepared.

“You’re doing well,” she said as she worked on mending some clothes afterwards, “with learning the language. I’ve seen some new traders never be able to master the language and others who have only done it after much difficulty.”

Rodney thought through what she said, trying to translate every word. He was pleased that he was able to get most of them, though a few still eluded him. “Thank you,” he replied, secretly pleased with the compliment. But he knew there was no way he’d be able to explain to her that compared to quantum physics, learning a new language was a piece of cake.

Kelly came in with an older gentleman that he startlingly resembled. “Rodney, would you like to have dinner with my father and I?” he asked, pointing between himself and his father and then putting his fingers to his lips like he was bringing something to his mouth.

Rodney looked at Jean, who nodded that he could go, and quickly said, “Sure,” as he stood. “Let me tell Kirby.”

“I already talked with Jillian at lunch,” Kelly replied with a smile. “They know not to expect you.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes slightly – first while figuring out the second part of what Kelly had said and then at being decided upon behind his back. “Well, I’m glad you think it’s okay to decide these things for me.”

Kelly looked at him, confused, and Rodney waved it off as he followed Kelly and his father into their quarters. Rodney looked around as his hosts began gathering the necessary items for their meal. The space was the same size and shape as Kirby and Jillian’s quarters – which Rodney had assumed was the same for all couples or two person families. The space was less cluttered, though, due to the two of them being herders and not needing the medicinal paraphernalia that Kirby needed or the odd pieces of glass that Jillian brought home. Their two cots were set up along the same wall, unlike Jillian and Kirby’s (and now Rodney’s), and their respective trunks were at the foot of their cots (that was the same). Other than the fire pit in the middle, and a set of shelves and two more trunks on another wall, the place was bare.

The two men worked efficiently and Rodney could see where Kelly got many of his mannerisms and movements from. They talked quietly while preparing the food. Rodney was surprised to see Kelly bring over three long kebabs loaded with fresh yak meat and vegetables.

Taking one of the kebabs and holding it over the fire, Rodney quietly asked Kelly, “Isn’t this too much?” He really hoped he wasn’t going to make eating hard for them.

Kelly looked at him inquisitively. “No,” he replied just as softly. “Don’t your people also share food together?”

“We do, but we have more food to begin with.”

Kelly considered this and smiled. “Don’t worry – my father and I won’t starve.”

“One other thing – what’s your dad’s name?”

Kelly laughed. “He is also named Kelly. I was named after him. Is this a custom among your people as well?”

“It is,” Rodney replied with a nod

“How are you settling in?” the elder Kelly asked.

“Okay,” Rodney replied with a quick shrug, sparing a quick glance from where he was closely watching his kebab as he turned it steadily over the flame.

“You seem to be adapting well – your progress in our language is quite remarkable. I’m sure you miss home.”

“Yeah, I –” Rodney stopped mid-thought. He hadn’t thought of home – of Atlantis – for some time. Not that he thought this place was home, far from it, but....

Kelly lightly shook his shoulder, bringing him back to the present. “Are you okay?” he asked, concern showing in both his and his father’s eyes.

“Yeah,” Rodney replied softly. “I just remembered that I haven’t thought of home in a quite a while. And I do miss it.” After a pause, he asked, “What are my chances of being able to go home?”

“Not good,” Kelly Sr. replied. “You come from an unknown people. We may not have much, but we will not risk what little we do have, along with all of our contacts, to either your people or to some other threat.”

Rodney nodded, hearing the sense in that as they took their finished kebabs away from the fire. “How long have I been here?” Now that the subject was dredged up, he wanted to know. He had kept a tally for a while, but he stopped after the second week – it had been getting too depressing.

“Three months.” the elder Kelly replied.

Rodney was surprised it had been that long, though looking back, it seemed about right. “I’ve noticed,” Rodney paused to think of the right words, “that your people spend a fair amount of time in silence. Why?”

Kelly and his father shared a look while they chewed and his father nodded slightly. After considering a little longer, Kelly said, “It is something that has been passed down through the generations. Our people are not as spiritually-minded as some, but we do have some core beliefs – like all peoples, I think. We believe that many, many generations ago, our people severely affronted the Gods, causing them to start the sandstorms as punishment. The people, realizing their error, repented immediately, but the Gods had withdrawn in their hurt. Since then, we have upheld the tenets they taught us – to do good to one another, speak truthfully always, forgive as fully as possible without retaliation, and uphold the model for relationships that they had revealed to us. We’ve also taken up meditation as a means to look inside ourselves and find any flaws that have developed so we can then fix them in the hopes that one day we will become good enough again for the Gods to return and restore their providence over us. We see the breaks in the sandstorm as a sign of hope that one day this may be the case.”

Rodney nodded in understanding. “That sounds similar to what many of the peoples where I come from believe in and do. What’s the model of relationships?” He was curious, since he hadn’t seen anything different than what he had seen anywhere else.

“The Gods modeled the ideal that each person should have one mate and one firm friend. We take seriously our relationship with our mates. Our clan is too small for us to stray away – aside from the fact that it would go against our beliefs. Also, we value the wealth that comes from having a close friend who is as close as – if not closer than – a brother to help us through times of trouble, to share our joys, and to help us discern our course of action in times of confusion.”

“No more questions about such things,” Kelly Sr. said. “I think we should move on to other topics to keep from boring our guest to tears.”

The younger men nodded and Kelly Sr. asked, “How did things go today with Jean?”

“Okay, aside from the soup,” Rodney replied and all three men smiled.

“With mistakes come wisdom. You’ll find your place here among us soon enough.”

The next day, Rodney didn’t return to help Jean and was glad she didn’t seem upset by it. (However, he was also secretly happy that she didn’t seem overly excited about it either.) Instead, he left early and went down to the pools to help with the laundry for their cluster.

The trio that took care of it, headed by a man that looked about Rodney’s age named Keith, seemed pleasantly surprised that Rodney wanted to help them. They showed him how to carefully apply the soap to the clothes and how to wash them in the middle third of one of the pools before wringing them dry and laying them out on racks to finish.

Rodney was doing well and felt confident in what he was doing as the day went on and was soon able to keep up with the output of the others. Near the end of the day, however, Keith playfully splashed Rodney with some of the soapy water. Rodney sputtered a bit as the others laughed. When he reached down to retaliate, he over-extended and fell in – which caused them to laugh even harder. Rodney came up spluttering and wiping water out of his eyes. Keith helped him out of the water and handed him a towel.

“No hard feelings, I hope?” he asked.

Rodney shook his head as he wiped off his face and rubbed the towel through his hair, causing it to stick up all over. Keith laughed some more as Rodney inefficiently ran a hand through his hair. “No,” he replied, with a small smile. “Just wasn’t expecting to take a bath today.”

Keith chuckled. “You did well for your first time. Many never seem to get the hang of it. Will we see you next time?”

Rodney shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe?”

Keith nodded as he joined Jen and Karl in folding the dry clothes and sorting them into piles according to the marks on the sleeves. “You’ll figure out where you’re supposed to be.”

“Yeah, that’s what everyone seems to think,” Rodney muttered bitterly, as he finished drying himself off, unsure how they could be so optimistic about him.

“Here,” Keith said, handing him two stacks of clothing, “this one,” he put it into Rodney’s right hand, “goes to Kelly and his son and this one,” he put the other in Rodney’s left hand, “is yours, Kirby’s and Jillian’s. Your things are on top.”

Rodney nodded mutely as he headed out, wondering when exactly he had started settling in enough to accumulate clothing and not really sure he wanted an answer.

Rodney sighed as he got out of bed. It was the first morning of his seventh month with the Laprans.

As he went through his morning ablutions, he couldn’t help but feel a bit of pride that he’d been able to last so long without “going native”. Pushing himself to best John’s “record” of staying apart as much as possible without alienating himself had kept him sane the past few months. While he was still hoping deep down for some sort of Hail Mary save from Atlantis, he knew that by if he wanted to get home he’d have to figure out how to do it himself. And since sneaking off had been removed from the very short list of viable options very early, he was currently biding his time.

Pulling on the clothes he had originally worn, Rodney couldn’t help but notice the physical changes that had happened to him while he was there. His hair was a bit longer than he was use to keeping it and badly in need of a trim, but he kind of liked it the way it was. He was a bit leaner than when he’d first arrived and now his clothes were oddly loose on him. He knew it had to do with the fact that he wasn’t eating as much, and at first eating less than he was being offered since he had been afraid he’d cause too much of a shortage, but it was also as much not eating as much junk and doing more walking throughout the camp. He laughed mentally as he pulled on his boots – if only his Earth doctor could see him now.

He had also been surprised at how his hypoglycemia hadn’t been a problem aside from that first day. Kirby had kept a careful eye on him the first few weeks and made sure he ate when the first hint of an episode presented. And if he happened to be in another part of the camp, the people were surprisingly generous in feeding him if necessary. Rodney had been surprised to find the Lapran diet was much more balanced than one would expect and that they weren’t as stingy with their food as one would expect either – especially when it was needed. But he still carried at least one glucagon injector with him – just in case.

Jillian stirred the fire and added more fuel before starting to prepare breakfast. “Sleep well?” she asked with a smile.

“I did,” Rodney replied, sitting down across the fire from her. “You?”

She nodded as she put the biscuit pan over the grate on top of the fire. “Think you could clean the pit out later and get us some more water?”

“Sure,” he replied, stowing his pajamas in his trunk. “And I need to run an errand for Jean this morning as well.”

“Are you headed anywhere near Heather and George?” Kirby asked, sitting down next to him.

“I believe so,” Rodney replied. “Need me to drop something off?”

Kirby handed him a small packet. “Give this to Lily and tell her to take a pinch of it twice a day with water. It’s to help her cramps with the baby.” Rodney nodded and stuck the packet in a pocket. “And after you finish the two chores Jillian gave you, come see me. We’re going to start on your meditation this afternoon.” He gave Rodney a look that dared him to object.

“Okay,” Rodney replied as he started eating his yak jerky.

He had figured that they’d try to get him to meditate at some point. This is going to be interesting, he thought dryly. Unless it was a dire emergency, he had never been able to sit still for five minutes, let alone sit still and *be* *quiet*. That usually lasted about five seconds before he had an idea he needed to start looking into or remembered something that needed to be done *now* – or, at the very least, he would start talking just to fill the void. He had always found silence to be extremely uncomfortable and the fact that these people seemed to relish it made him a little uneasy.

Walking back and forth across the complex had become a more enjoyable experience than Rodney had originally anticipated. Part of him suspected it was the lack of drama. On Atlantis, there was always *something* going on – people blowing up on each other in the labs, people standing a little too close and looking a little too meaningfully at each other in the halls, continual gossip about X and Y. He secretly suspected that was a large factor in his short temper – some days he felt like he was stuck in a soap opera, not in the city of the Ancients.

Here, things were much quieter. Rodney was sure that there was still drama – he doubted any community was completely free of it, even the Antarctica base hadn’t been impervious – it was simply much quieter than what he was used to.

“Rodney!” A little boy of about five came barreling over to him as he re-entered his borough.

Rodney eyed him apprehensively as Kevin skidded to a stop in front of him. “Yes, Kevin?” he asked warily, stepping around him.

Whirling around to follow him, Kevin asked, “Is it true you’re from a planet far, far away? And that you came through the Ring of the Ancestors?”

“It is,” Rodney replied, going into the quarters he shared with Jillian and Kirby – he refused to take any sort of ownership in them, even in his own thinking.

“Do you miss your home?” Kevin asked, following him inside. “Why don’t you go back? What’s your home like? Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

Rodney rolled his eyes at Kirby, who was silently laughing, as Kevin paused to take a breath. Rodney really didn’t know how he seemed to charm kids wherever he went – even when he wasn’t trying or was being his prickliest. Before Kevin could continue, Rodney replied, “I do miss home. There’s a lot of reasons why I haven’t gone back and, believe me, if any of them worked we wouldn’t be talking right now. My home is a floating city on a large ocean. And I have a younger sister.”

“I have a little sister. Her name’s Janna.”

“I know,” Rodney replied as he got the pail, shovel, and brush for the fire pit. “Look,” he said as patiently as possible, “I have a few things to do right now. Would you mind if we continue this later?”

“Okay,” Kevin replied easily. “Bye, Rodney. Bye, Kirby-san.”

“Good-bye, Kevin-kun,” Kirby replied with a smile as Kevin left. “He’s a good kid, even if he does ask a lot of questions. I have a feeling he’s going to succeed the story-teller when he gets older.”

Rodney didn’t reply as he made quick work of cleaning out the fire pit and refilling the water jars. Sitting down on the floor with a sigh, he said, “I’m ready whenever you are.”

Kirby nodded and moved from his bed to the floor, sitting in front of Rodney in a half-lotus position, hands open and palms up, the right on top of the left. Rodney straightened up and sat cross-legged, hands on his knees. Kirby closed his eyes and took a few slow, deep breaths and Rodney watched him, not sure what to do and starting to get a little nervous.

He finally opened his eyes and Rodney breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m sure this is going to be tedious for you in the beginning. I know you like to go as fast as possible as much as possible because you’re always thinking. We believe that meditation is to help you become more mindful of where you are in the present, as well as deal with things in your past that need to be resolved so that you can move forward to become a more peaceful person that the Gods would find favor with.”

Rodney nodded, rubbing his hands on his pants. “And how do you propose I deal with the unresolved issues?” he asked, slightly bitter.

“I’ll walk you through compartmentalizing and then releasing them – at least at first. I’m confident that after awhile you’ll be able to do it yourself. Now, take a deep breath in.” He demonstrated, and waited for Rodney to follow suit. “And let it out slowly,” he said as he did so. He took him through a few more breaths the same way, before having him breathe the same way, but deeper in his chest and centered more in his body.

“Good, keep breathing that way,” Kirby told him. “Now, focus on your breathing and keeping it steady. Focus only on your breathing and let your thoughts move through your mind’s eye as they desire.”

Rodney’s eyes snapped open. “I don’t – I can’t,” he said quickly.

“Yes, you can,” Kirby replied firmly. “Now close your eyes and start over.”

“I –”

“*Rodney*.”

Rodney huffed and did as he was told. He closed his eyes and began breathing slowly and evenly again. The first thing that came to mind was the last game of chess he had played with John and Rodney smiled. A second memory soon replaced the first, but this one was more depressing and he frowned deeply – it was of his paternal grandmother’s funeral. She had loved him like no one else in the family did and even after all these years, he still missed her greatly.

“Tell me, Rodney,” Kirby prompted.

“Well, first it was John and I playing chess – it’s a game we have that deals with strategy – definitely a good memory. Then there was a memory of my grandmother’s funeral. I was about fifteen at the time and she was the one person in my family that really understood me and loved me for me. It hurt when she died.”

“It appears that it still does. You do her no honor by remaining in your grief. Hold that memory in your mind’s eye. Pour all of your negative emotions from losing her into it. Tell me when you’re ready to continue.”

Rodney did so, putting all the grief and resentment he’d ever felt at losing his into it, along with the anger he felt at his parents for trying to discourage their relationship and for how they had acted at the funeral and in the days afterwards. When he had contained it, he said, “Ready.”

“Now, place that memory into a small chest. Close the chest and lock it. Put the chest off to one side and return to focusing on your breathing.”

Rodney followed Kirby’s instructions, feeling his breathing leveling out once again and a slight sense of peace wash over him.

“How do you feel?” Kirby asked.

“Okay, I guess,” Rodney replied. “A little more relaxed.”

“It’ll take time,” Kirby replied, “and I doubt you’ll uncover everything and deal with it the first time around. Now, let’s repeat the process.”

When they finished, which Rodney assumed was an hour later, he was exhausted – both physically and emotionally. Kirby had pushed him into talking about and dealing with things that he hadn’t even thought about in years – if not decades.

Kirby gave him a drink of water and helped him stand. “You look exhausted. You’ll feel better after you take a nap,” he said, guiding him over to his cot.

Rodney sank down onto it. “Thank you,” he replied with a tired smile before falling onto his side and falling asleep before his head hit the pillow.

When he awoke some time later, Jillian had returned home and was playing with her little cousin. And Kirby was nowhere in sight. Rodney stretched languidly; feeling more relaxed than he had in a long, long time.

“How are you feeling?” Jillian asked, looking up at him.

“Pretty good,” he replied, sitting up and stretching his back. “Hungry, though.”

Jillian nodded. “I’m sure. You seem to have a weighted soul.” She took the lid off a pot over the fire and started dishing out some stew. “We see those from time to time among our trading partners.” She handed over the steaming bowl as Rodney sat down and smiled. “I’m sure you’ll benefit greatly from the meditation.”

Rodney shrugged as he began eating, scooping the soup out with a crusty piece of bread. “It’s possible, but I’ve never put much stock into it.”

“Do not your people meditate as well?” Jillian’s cousin, Rodney was pretty sure his name was Kyle, wiggled out of her lap and she let him go.

“Some do and they seem to think it’s a great thing. But I’ve always thought it was just a load of voodoo.” At her confused look, he added, “Something that’s a load of crap and doesn’t have any real basis.”

“But if people are benefiting from it….” She started and then trailed off, trying to gather her thoughts.

“But, see, that’s the thing,” Rodney said, putting his food down and warming up to the subject, “you *say* it’s helping you, but there’s no quantifiable way of actually measure whether or not it really is helping you. I could say that the one session I had with Kirby fixed everything and that now I’m a new man and you’d have no way to prove that I’m lying.”

Jillian studied him as Kyle pulled himself up into Rodney’s lap. “Your words have truth to them,” she finally said, “but I think you dismiss too much simply because you think the means to learn more about it are inadequate.” She started cleaning the bowls she, Kirby and Kyle had used as she continued, “You yourself said that you felt more relaxed after one session. I doubt that if meditation were complete ‘voodoo’ that you would be feeling this way.”

“Yes, well, a good scientist doesn’t base a whole theory on one test.” He sighed as he absently pulled Kyle’s hand down from where he was trying to insert his fingers into Rodney’s mouth. “And what exactly do you want?” he asked, looking down at Kyle. “I doubt it’s either attention or food – seeing as how you get more than enough around here.”

Kyle simply giggled and patted Rodney’s chest before snuggling against it.

“You should be proud,” Jillian said with a bit of surprise. “He hasn’t been very personable lately.”

“Terrible twos?” Rodney asked absently.

“I suppose,” she replied. “He’s been wanting his mother more than anyone else lately. And he’s been finicky with his food and gets upset at the slightest provocation.”

“Yep, that sounds like the terrible twos.”

“You aren’t fond of children, are you?” she asked.

“Not really,” he replied as he picked up his bowl and carefully resumed eating. “They tend to get into things and break them, or mess up your notes, or put their sticky hands on everything and render it useless until it can be cleaned – which is usually time consuming. And they don’t listen and get upset when you tell them to do something and it’s just better if I don’t have to deal with them.”

“And, yet, the kids here seem to like you.” She finished drying the bowls and cups and set them to the side of the fire pit.

“They always do.”

Sitting in a half lotus position, she asked, “Don’t you want to have kids of your own?”

“That would infer that I actually want to get married. Which – my long-standing unrequited crush on Lt. Col. Samantha Carter aside – I *do* not want to do.”

Rodney pushed down the niggling sensation that he should admit to his relationship – or whatever it was – with John. While he hadn’t seen any overtly gay relationships or heard anyone talking about it in any context here, there were a few couples he was pretty sure were together. He didn’t want to open a can of worms if he was wrong.

Jillian smiled. “You are a puzzle, Rodney, but one that is worth figuring out, I think.”

Rodney finished the last scrap of his bread. “And it took you only seven months to figure that out?”

She laughed as she took the bowl from Rodney and Kirby stepped through the flap to their quarters.

He smiled upon seeing Rodney’s arms automatically move to cradle a now-sleeping Kyle as soon as his hands were empty. After kissing Jillian on the top of her head, he said, “I see you’ve made a new friend.”

“Not by my own doing, I can assure you,” Rodney replied. “I tend to make people cry.”

“Unintentionally, I hope,” Kirby replied as he sat down.

“Usually,” Rodney replied, absently rubbing Kyle’s back with one hand and Kyle snuggled closer. “I was merely pointing out their faults and I have a tendency to be… abrasive with other people.”

“Well, that’s something you’ll have to work on in your meditation.”

“I don’t get a say in this, do I?” Rodney asked unhappily.

“No. I believe that this is something you need to help you heal, Rodney. While you’re not physically ill, your soul is deeply hurting and this will help you on the road to recovery – much like lancing a boil. And this will indirectly help you physically.”

“Yeah, we’ve already had a discussion about that,” Jillian replied with a smile.

Kelly called from outside, “May I come in?”

“Yes,” Kirby replied.

Kelly ducked his head in. “Feel up to doing something, Rodney?” he asked.

“Sure, but I – ah….” He pointed at Kyle.

Kirby chuckled and leaned over to take Kyle off of Rodney’s lap. “Go on,” he said warmly.

Rodney hopped up and joined Kelly in the common area and found him carrying two long poles. “What’s up?” he asked as he followed him into the caves and down into one of the deeper levels.

“I thought we’d start your staff training today,” Kelly replied easily as they entered the one that had been designated a practice area for staffs. Two other couples were already there and sparring, the percussive rhythm of their staffs hitting slightly syncopated.

Rodney furrowed his brow. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” Kelly replied, handing him one of the poles.

“I swear – between you and Kirby, I’m thinking that you’re mounting a two-pronged attack to beat me into submission and make me more like all of you.”

Kelly laughed as he swung his arms a few times and twirled his pole lazily. “Started you meditating, did he?”

“This morning. Who knew an hour of meditation could be so intense?”

“Not a believer, then?”

“Not normally, no.”

“It’s not for everyone,” Kelly said as he did a few quick stretches.

“You don’t do it?” Rodney asked incredulously as he started mimicking Kelly’s stretches.

“No, I do it. I just mean – I know some of our trading allies who’ve tried and just couldn’t do it. But I think you’d be able to do it and that it would work for you.”

“Yeah, that’s what Kirby and Jillian seem to think,” Rodney replied.

“They’re both a good judge of people. Okay, let’s get started. Fighting with staffs is mostly a matter of thrusting and parrying – offense and defense.” And with a smile, he added, “I’ll take it easy on you this time.”

Kelly swung his staff at Rodney and Rodney instinctively brought his staff up to block it. The staffs hit with a satisfying crack. Rodney smiled inwardly, noting that Ronon’s “lessons” hasn’t been completely fruitless.

Kelly started out slow with him, showing him the different blocking positions. Then he walked him through them in succession, giving Rodney a smile as he blocked each attack in turn.

“Good,” he said when they finished. “Now, let’s see if we can speed this up a bit. Ready?”

“As much as I’ll ever be,” Rodney replied, a little worried at what Kelly meant by ‘speed this up a bit’.

Kelly pushed Rodney through the succession of blocks in quicker and quicker repetitions, forcing him to respond by instinct instead of thinking. Rodney was breathing heavily when they stopped and Kelly grinned.

“You’re doing great,” he said.

“Yeah, well, it helps when you’re used to getting pummeled at home by a large brute who thinks it’s fun,” Rodney gasped.

Kelly’s brow furrowed as he leaned on his staff. “And you allowed him to do this to you?”

“It’s for ‘self-defense’ classes,” Rodney replied, making air quotes. “And it was either that or Teyla and her bantos sticks – which, from what John’s said, I think I’ll stay with Ronon. At least he lets me wear padding.”

“I don’t know if I like your people very much, Rodney.”

“Technically, they’re not my people – well, John is,” Rodney said, going over to a pail of water with a ladle. Carefully sniffing the water, he took a sip before gulping the rest of the contents of the ladle. “We kind of picked up Ronon and Teyla along the way. And normally they’re great – very useful to have around.” He drank another ladleful of water.

“You have spoken highly of the three of them,” Kelly admitted, though Rodney thought it maybe have been a bit grudgingly. “And you and John seemed to be especially close. Were you bonded?”

“Bonded?” Rodney asked, frowning as he went back to Kelly. “No, I don’t think so. We were close – I thought of him as a best friend.”

“What made you change your mind?” Kelly asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You said you thought of him as a best friend. What changed?”

“Well, I got stuck here, didn’t I?” Rodney asked hotly.

Kelly said nothing, but studied him for a moment before saying, “Let’s get back to work. We’re going to go through the blocks again, but I’m going to mix them up.”

“Oh, great,” Rodney muttered as he grabbed his staff with both hands. “Let the beatings begin.”

When they finally stopped, Rodney sent up a mental “Thank God”. He was sweating and he knew his face was red. Kelly, on the other hand, looked like he had only had a light workout.

“You did really well,” he said with a grin. “Ronon must have taught you something.”

“Apparently,” Rodney replied with a shrug of his eyebrows. He could tell there would be a few spots that would have bruises come morning, but overall he wasn’t going to be as banged up as he had feared. Although, if this was Kelly ‘taking it easy’ on him, he definitely had to worry about future training. Kelly might make Ronon look like a kitten.

After they both grabbed a drink, they went back to Kirby and Jillian’s quarters. Outside, Rodney handed the staff back to Kelly.

“Keep it,” Kelly replied, waving him off. “It’s customary to use the staff your teacher gives you until you become proficient – then you give it back and make your own.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied hesitantly. But that did explain the markings he saw on Kelly’s staff that were missing from his own plain one.

“You did well, Rodney. I’m sure you’ll be making your own staff in no time. We’ll continue tomorrow.”

Rodney nodded once. “Okay. I guess that’s good night, then.”

Kelly gave him a quick nod. “It is. Good night, Rodney.”

Rodney half-expected a pat on the arm or the shoulder – it’s what John would have done, he thought absently, but none was forthcoming as Kelly turned and walked away.

He stared after Kelly for a moment, not sure how to feel. The Laprans were all very verbally open and affirming – quick to praise and compliment. But they were very slow to show physical affection. The only times he had seen them touch was when it was necessary. And, yet, they seemed to have closer relationships than the ones he saw either on Earth or Atlantis – where people were able to touch more freely.

Rodney shook his head and headed inside.

Jillian looked up from where she was working on mending a shirt and smiled. “How did it go?” she asked.

“I’m not dead yet,” Rodney replied with a small smile. “Supposedly, Kelly was only giving me a light beating tonight. He seems to think I have aptitude, though.”

“That’s good,” she said as Rodney placed his staff under his cot.

Rodney sank down onto the cot, suddenly exhausted, and toed off his moccasins before curling up and pulling the blanket over himself. “If anyone needs me, it’d better be for a damn good reason. Otherwise, tell them to wait until morning,” he said before promptly falling asleep, not hearing Jillian’s response.

The next morning brought another grueling meditation session with Kirby. Prior to this, Rodney had always puttered about while Jillian and Kirby were meditating, doing odds and ends to help clean up breakfast and get ready for the rest of the day.

But that free pass was definitely over. Kirby was more relentless than Kate had ever been. She would push, but when it became clear that Rodney wasn’t going to talk about something, she would move on to other topics and come back later. Kirby, on the other hand, kept pushing and pushing one point until Rodney would break, angrily telling him things that he hadn’t told anyone – ever.

And, somehow, Rodney didn’t mind. Of course he minded Kirby digging into him and making him talk about his parents and his grandmother, since that’s what his brain seemed to focus on today, but he didn’t mind the way Kirby did it. Kate, though Rodney didn’t think she realized it – and the other shrinks he had been forced to see over the years – had always been so patronizing in their “And how does that make you feel?” line of questioning that he had trouble forging a bond with them that would ultimately help him. Kirby, on the other hand, seemed happy enough with Rodney telling him what had happened and not in passing judgment – at least not out loud.

When they finished, Rodney took a few deep breaths, again feeling drained.

“You’re doing well, Rodney-kun,” Kirby said with a warm smile as he used the endearment.

“What exactly is the point of all of this?” Rodney asked, slightly huffy and a little bewildered. “What’s the point of having me tell you all these things if you’re not going to write things down and analyze everything, and tell me what’s going on in my brain?”

Kirby studied him for a moment, making Rodney squirm slightly, before calmly answering, “Is this for me to know everything about you, or for you to find peace?”

Rodney stared at him, baffled. Kirby didn’t seem to expect an actual answer, but for Rodney to think about it.

“Now,” Kirby said. “For the rest of today, you are to remain silent. You are not allowed to talk to anyone. You know the others will understand and not find it rude, since it’s one of our regular practices. I know it will help you greatly. We shall repeat this process of meditation and silence for as long as necessary.”

Rodney gaped at Kirby. Revise that, Kirby was definitely more evil than Kate. Rodney tightened his jaw and nodded once sharply.

“Good.” Kirby stood and Rodney followed. “I know you don’t like the idea of this, Rodney, but it will do you good. From what it sounds like, your people have done great things, but at the sacrifice of your own peace. I’m surprised your gods haven’t retreated from your people completely as well.”

The first day was hell on Rodney. He continually forgot that he wasn’t supposed to speak, although everyone around him seemed to know. Every time he uttered so much as a syllable, he was given a reproving look that could’ve withered a cactus. He wasn’t sure if he preferred that or Jillian and Kelly’s method of giving him a friendly swat on the back of his head if he tried to talk.

It took him a full month before he was able to spend a day in complete silence. And it was a month that he didn’t want to repeat. Ever.

It seemed that the less he talked, the more he thought. And the more he thought, the more his mind dredged up, now that he had started down that path. If only Kate could see him now, he thought more than once – telling Kirby things he had never wanted to tell anyone and ending some sessions in tears that he hadn’t let himself release before. In the process of doing so, he grudgingly had to admit that he was feeling better – more centered, more at peace, quieter. And these things scared him. Rodney had become so used to his mind racing, his thoughts going in five different directions at once. He had allowed it because otherwise he would have had to think about things that were better left unthought, but now he was at a loss with what to do with himself.

It seemed that Kirby’s idea of being a silent confessor who gave only the barest hint of absolution was exactly what Rodney needed.

And Kelly didn’t see the silence as a reason to stop Rodney’s staff training. Which, by the end of the month Rodney was grateful for as well. With someone other than Ronon training him, since what Ronon had started him with was somewhat similar, Rodney’s experience grew in leaps and bounds. By the end of the month he was able to give Kelly a run for his money.

“You’re doing well,” Kelly said at the end of a sparring session. “Most people don’t pick up the staff this quickly.”

“I’ve always been a quick learner,” Rodney replied blithely as he took a drink of water. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You know you can,” Kelly replied, taking the ladle from Rodney and taking a drink himself.

“Why is everyone here so friendly?”

“I don’t understand.” Kelly gave Rodney a confused look.

“I mean – sure, back on Atlantis we praised people if they deserved it, but you all seem to go out of your way to do it.”

Kelly shrugged. “It’s just our way of doing it. We realize that we need to do it as a means of survival. If one of us feels unappreciated, then he or she won’t do his or her job and then everyone else will need to pick up the slack and they’ll feel like they’re not being appreciated for what they’re doing and so on.” He smiled, “Besides, we do actually like you. And that’s what friends do, right?”

“I guess so,” Rodney replied as they headed topside, not wanting to burst Kelly’s bubble that *his* friends usually didn’t.

“Kirby, I need to talk to you.”

“Not now, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied with a dismissive wave of his hand, not even looking up from his mortar and pestle.

“No, it’s not about the kids. I’m over that.” He paused for a second at Kirby’s sharp glare and quickly sat down, automatically crossing his legs. “Well, mostly.”

“Then what is it?” Kirby asked sharply. “I need to get this finished for tomorrow.”

“I know that there’s some sort of huge bazaar happening this month, but I was hoping that at the end of it, you’d let me go home.” Wanting to get it out before Kirby had a chance to interrupt him, Rodney continued on, “I’ve been here a full cycle and you *know* that I’m not a threat to you and neither are my people. If we were, don’t you think it would have happened by now?”

“No,” Kirby replied brusquely and Rodney knew he meant in general and not to the last question.

“Would you and the other elders at least consider it?”

“Rodney-kun,” Kirby’s hands stilled in his lap as he sighed, “The answer is no and you know that. We have been safe here for a long, long time and while we understand that you want to go home, we will not risk the chance of someone taking advantage of your people’s knowledge of our position and now your knowledge of us.”

“Then can I at least send them a message that I’m okay? I promise I won’t encode any secret messages in it for them to come in with guns blazing.”

“No. We’ve been over this.” Kirby’s voice softened as he resumed his work. “You’d better get over to Jean and help her out. Once tomorrow morning comes, you’re on your own.”

“Yes, Kirby,” Rodney replied quietly as he stood and headed out of their quarters, determined to not let his disappointment show.

The next morning came early and started with Kevin pouncing on a still-sleeping Rodney, giggling loudly. Rodney groaned, rolled over onto his back and looked up at Kevin’s mother, Jenna, who was standing over them with a smile.

“The kids are arriving,” she said. “I’ll go start getting them situated. Come on, Kevin.”

Kevin grinned at Rodney and gave him a big kiss on his cheek before scrambling up, elbowing Rodney in the stomach in the process.

Rodney groaned again, rolling onto his stomach. This month was going to be hell.

“So, what are we going to do today?” A boy named Brody asked and twenty-five pairs of eyes looked at him.

“Um, I’m not really sure,” Rodney replied. “What do you guys normally do during the day?”

“Normally, our clan mothers will teach us before lunch,” one of the girls replied. Rodney thought her name was Laura, but he wasn’t sure – that might have been her twin.

“And then we play games in the afternoon,” replied her sister.

“Tell us a story,” a kid he thought was named Michael said.

“I don’t know any of your stories,” Rodney replied.

“How can you not know our stories?” Jennifer asked incredulously. “You’ve been here a whole cycle.”

Rodney shrugged. “I don’t. Well, I don’t know any completely.” A light bulb came on. “I could tell you some of my stories, though – from where I come from.”

The older kids looked at him suspiciously as the younger ones eagerly seated themselves at his feet. “Okay, let’s see.” He wracked his brain for a suitable one, rejecting Vonnegut, Bradbury and Asimov as being over these kids heads. He figured he could get a few days out of C.S. Lewis’ Narnia, depending on how well the kids took to mythical creatures. Same for J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy. And he could probably do Star Wars and possibly some of Star Trek, if he carefully edited it. Superheroes were always good. And the good thing about them was that he could easily make up new stories.

“Okay,” he said, clapping his hands together and looking out over his audience – the younger half, which ranged from three to about eight, were already captivated even though he hadn’t even said anything, and the older half, which ranged from nine to twelve or thirteen, were warily contemplating him. “I’ve got a good story for you about four kids – a girl about your ages named Lucy,” he pointed to the smaller kids and they smiled, “a boy about your ages, named Edmund,” he pointed to the older kids, a couple of whom hesitantly smiled, “and their older brother and sister named Lucy and Peter. They had a number of adventures and even helped save the world. What do you think? Want to hear it?”

“YES!” came an enthusiastic chorus.

“How’s it going?” Kelly asked, as he and a couple of mothers ducked into the common area that afternoon.

“It’s going,” Rodney replied with a shrug as he watched the kids running around playing a game that looked a lot like tag. The younger ones were screaming with delight whenever one of the older ones got too close. Not wanting to admit that he was actually enjoying the kids, he changed the subject. “So, what’s up with the difference in the weather?”

Kelly shrugged. “No idea. Seems like they’re enjoying themselves.”

Rodney nodded. “They even liked the story I told them earlier. Some of the older kids promised to start teaching me your stories tonight.”

One of the mothers came back later that evening to check on her children after they had all gone to sleep and she stayed to talk with Rodney for a while. His eyes kept wandering to her hands, which were absently carding through some silk thread before she spun it into a thread on a hand spindle.

“Do you want to learn?” she asked, and Rodney looked up to find her watching him.

“I don’t know,” Rodney replied, eyeing the thread. “I’ve never been good at things like that.”

She looked down at his hands. “I don’t know about that,” she replied. “Your fingers look able enough. Here, just try it.” She moved closer and transferred her work to his lap. She placed the spinner and raw silk in his hands and explained what to do as she guided his hands through the steps. She gave him an encouraging smile as he tried it. The first few times, the thread broke and she carefully corrected him. As she patiently helped him, Rodney found himself slowly catching on, even if it more slowly than he would have liked and she kept having to help him smooth the thread out from being too lumpy and uneven. But, after a while, Rodney found his rhythm. “Good,” she said as she watched him spin the thread for a few minutes without any mistakes. She got up to check on her children again before bidding Rodney ‘good night’ and leaving the silk with him.

Rodney watched her go and then turned his attention back to the silk. It felt good to have something for his hands to do, even if it meant his mind was still able to be aware of its surroundings. But for once, his mind was quiet. Rodney let out a relaxed sigh. This month may not be so bad after all.

“I’m glad everyone’s finally gone home,” Kelly said to Rodney as their staffs clacked together in a familiar rhythm.

“What exactly happened this past month?” Rodney asked, easily blocking a thrust and countering with one of his own, hitting Kelly in the shin.

“Visitors,” was all Kelly replied as he stepped back and went to get a drink.

“A lot of visitors from what it seemed like,” Rodney replied, following him. “Were you so afraid that I’d try to escape that you put me on baby-sitting duty?”

“No,” Kelly replied as Rodney took a drink of water. “That was just circumstance – we needed someone and you were available. Plus, it’s a tradition that if we have a new adult addition to the tribe, he or she watches the children for his or her first tenth-month ceremony. For one thing, it helps us help them determine their vocation.”

“So, I’m going to be working with the silks?” Rodney asked, half-resigned, as he and Kelly headed out of the sparring cave.

“It’s not that bad, is it?” Kelly asked.

“No,” Rodney admitted. He had actually enjoyed being able to work the raw silk into a thread whenever he had some downtime. “It’s just….” He shrugged. “I don’t know what I thought.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kelly said with a smile. “I think you’ll enjoy it.”

“So, when do I start?” Rodney asked as they headed over to the yaks.

One came over as they approached the fence and butted Kelly in the chest with its nose. “The next class doesn’t start for a few months yet.” Kelly gave it a treat before going through the fence into the pen. “We wait until all the kids who are relatively the same age are twelve and start their apprenticeships at the same time. The last ones turn twelve in either four or five months. I’ll have to check.”

“What am I going to do until then?” Rodney asked almost plaintively, as he leaned against the railing. As good as being a gofer had been in helping him learn the language and meeting the people he was now living with, he didn’t want to go back to that if at all possible.

Kelly thought about it for a moment as he checked the feed buckets. “Well, I know that Kirby’s been looking for someone to apprentice to him for quite a while and no one’s come forward.”

“What about Jillian?” Rodney asked, perplexed. “She’s his daughter. Isn’t stuff like that normally hereditary?”

“Maybe where you’re from, but that’s not how we do it here. And she can’t because she’s apprenticing to the head of the glass guild. You definitely seem like you’ve got the head for it.”

Rodney glared at him and Kelly laughed.

“No, seriously. Remember when you took apart that lamp two months ago? I didn’t know half of what you were talking about when you tried to explain it, but you seemed to understand it perfectly.”

“Well, that was child’s play compared some of the things I fixed,” Rodney replied, confused when he felt a flush of pleased pride well up. He normally took any praise as his due, so what made this any different?

After making sure the water trough was filled, Kelly ducked back out of the pen and half-shrugged as they walked into the tent. “Still, I think you should consider it. It seems like it’d give you the mental challenge you like and I’m sure that Kirby could easily find enough things to keep you busy until the silk training starts. Want me to talk to him for you?”

Rodney shrugged. “Let me think about it.”

Kelly nodded. “Okay. But do think about it. I think it’d be a really good fit. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah, talk to you later,” Rodney replied. He went back into their tent and put away his staff.

He sat down on his cot and sighed. The past ten months had been… He sighed again as he toppled over onto his side. He wasn’t even sure what they had been. A much-needed vacation and intensive therapy session rolled into one?

Heightmeyer had always said that he needed to seriously confront his past if he wanted to get better. If only she could see him now – slaying his dragons on a regular basis using the meditation and enforced silences that Kirby had made him endure. Okay, true, he did feel much better now that he had been at it for a few months. His brain wasn’t always running to stay away from his past and he was surprised to find that he was sleeping better. But an even bigger surprise was that he hadn’t had a hypoglycemic episode since the first one, even though he ate less than he had on Atlantis but still expended about the amount of energy. And the fact that he had also dropped a few pounds in the process probably didn’t hurt either – not that he knew exactly how much, but the fact that the clothes he had come with were definitely on the loose side were a good indication.

He sighed as he turned onto his back and centered his breathing, starting to work through a relaxation exercise Jillian had taught him when she noticed he wasn’t sleeping well after Kirby had started Rodney’s meditation.

“Are you all right?” Kirby asked from the entry to the tent.

“Just fine,” Rodney replied, resuming his controlled breaths. “Just trying to work something out.”

“Okay. When you’re done, I’d like to talk with you about something,” Kirby replied before leaving.

Fuck, Rodney thought. Kelly must’ve put a bug in Kirby’s ear anyway. He blew out a puff of air and started the relaxation process again.

One thing he hadn’t yet been able to talk to anyone about – not even Kirby during meditation or Kelly while they were sparring – was how much it hurt that Atlantis hadn’t come back for him. He knew the odds of them finding him, though – he had worked them out in excruciating detail – but he had thought he’d be worth a little more than that, considering he had been the head of the science division and how many times he had saved them. He had even figured that John’s martyr “never leave a man behind” complex would have given them enough fuel to find him.

Rodney carefully balled those thoughts and feelings up and set them aside, willing himself to relax and think about more pressing matters. Even with how much he had teased Carson, deep-down Rodney did respect him and what he did. Being able to make clear-headed, split-second decisions – many times for people he cared about deeply – was a hard thing to do on the best of days, let alone when he was doing it in the field. Rodney wasn’t sure he’d be able to do that.

Memorize plants and their uses and the best way to stitch up a gash – that was easy enough. Rodney knew that learning that sort of thing would be a piece of cake. Actually using it on someone he knew…. That was something else all together.

But at the same time, his rational mind butted in, how many field emergencies did they really have here? The closest thing would be either Kelly or his father getting bit by one of the yaks or someone getting cut on a piece of glass or poking themselves with a needle, not to mention normal household accidents. Rodney doubted he’d have to sew up any lacerated stomachs from a bullet wound any time soon.

And it would be nice for Kirby to have some help. Even in a small population (three hundred people, Rodney had counted), there was always someone to tend. Rodney had seen that Kirby’s help went beyond the physical to include mental health, sometimes becoming a confessor and advisor. He had seen Kirby truly relax maybe twice in the past ten months.

Plus, Rodney figured, it was going to be a while before he could start training to do silk. This would give him something to do until then and if things didn’t work out, then he’d have a way out and Kirby could then start looking for someone else.

Mind made up, Rodney went out to talk to Kirby about his decision.

“Feeling better?” Kirby asked as Rodney sat down on the ‘patient’ stool.

Rodney shrugged. “Some. Can I talk to you?”

“Always,” Kirby replied. “What can I help you with?”

“I’d like to be your apprentice.” Rodney’s gaze flicked down to the floor and then stayed there. “Well, try to at any rate. I’m not sure if I’d be any good at it, but I’ve noticed that you don’t have any help and,” Rodney could feel himself start to babble and was powerless to stop it, “since I’m not going to be starting for silk production for another few months, I thought I’d ask about it and see what you thought.”

Kirby smiled. “I’d love to have you, Rodney-kun. And it would be great to have someone help me out.”

Rodney blinked at how easy that had been. “Just so you know – I’m not the best people-person.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied, his smile becoming more reassuring.

Rodney shifted uneasily on the stool. “So, ah, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“I had wanted to ask if you wanted to be my apprentice, but you beat me to it. Did Kelly-kun put you up to this?”

Rodney frowned, not sure where this was going, “Maybe… a little. Well, okay, not really. He just gave me the idea that you were looking for someone to help you. And I came to my own conclusions. Plus, hopefully this will help me pay you back for letting me stay with you and Jillian this past cycle. And, you know, for the future to – earn my keep and all that.”

Kirby laughed. “Between the two of you, sometimes I’m surprised you’re not getting into trouble. I wouldn’t be surprised if you two bond soon.”

“Bonded?” Rodney asked, curious.

“I’ll let him explain it if it comes to fruition. Let me go get some things and we’ll get started.”

“Does this mean I have to call you Kirby-sensei now?” Rodney asked as Kirby stood. He still wasn’t exactly sure how the titles they used worked, though he was slowly getting it.

“Only if you want to. I won’t be offended if you don’t.” He ducked into their quarters and returned a few minutes later with what looked like a large and nearly full leather messenger bag. “All right,” he said, sitting back down and placing the bag on the floor between his feet. “This isn’t going to be easy, so don’t complain when you’re frustrated – you won’t get any sympathy from me. Most people who take over this job do it from their twelfth cycle, the same as all the others, so you’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

“What happened to your apprentice?” Rodney couldn’t help asking.

“She was taken last year – she was Jillian’s age.”

“I’m sorry,” Rodney replied, knowing that there were a few families that were grieving taken loved ones this year. He had been puzzled by the fact that he hadn’t heard the distinct whine of Wraith darts, but had the distinct impression from Kirby’s expression that now wasn’t the time to ask.

“Thank you. We’ll start with diseases and plants and their uses, then move into setting bones, stitching up cuts, things of that nature, and then we’ll get into childbirth and dealing with other internal maladies that need outside intervention. Any questions?”

Rodney shook his head no, not sure if he *should* have questions. Kirby nodded brusquely in response as he moved to the floor, opened the bag and began setting out different plants. When he set out the thirteenth one and reached into the bag for another, Rodney wondered how screwed he was going to be and if it was too late to back out on account of being too old to learn a new profession.

Two months later, Rodney had taken back every mean thing he had ever said about Carson and his profession twenty times and was ready to do it for the twenty-first. If learning about two and a half dozen plant and herbs from the inside out in regards to their good and bad points, which other plants they did and didn’t work with, what sorts of people should and shouldn’t take them, all the different ways of how to prepare them to be used, and all the other various and sundry bits of information, along with who-knows-how-many diseases, Rodney was sure he was going crazy. He honestly had no idea how Carson did it with all the different drugs and illnesses they had, let alone all the other procedures he needed to know. If he ever had a chance to apologize in person, he was going to do it profusely and abjectly.

Kirby had been extremely patient with him, going over the plants again and again and again until Rodney could recite them and everything about them the same way he could recite the elements of the periodic table. When Kirby was confident that Rodney knew the plants inside and out, he began having him sit in on his consults and asking him the best course of action for the myriad of problems that presented themselves, using that time to test Rodney’s knowledge as well as teach him the ‘exceptions to the rule’ as they came up.

Rodney was surprised at how gracious and patient the other villagers were with him as he worked with them, knowing full well how utterly evil he himself had been to some of the medical interns he’d had to deal with over the years back on Earth.

As they got ready one morning after their meditation session, Kirby said, “You’ve been doing wonderfully, Rodney-kun. I think you’ll make a wonderful Healer.”

Rodney blushed lightly and ducked his head, grateful that Jillian had left early to look after Kyle. “Let’s just wait and see how the other parts of my training go first.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” Seeing Rodney’s embarrassment, he asked, “Still not comfortable with simple praise?”

“I’m getting there,” Rodney replied. “You’ve heard a lot of what I’ve gone through.”

Kirby nodded in understanding. “It does take a lot to break down some walls that we erect around ourselves. I’ve seen it in others who we’ve adopted.”

“Have there been a lot?” Rodney asked out of sheer curiosity. There were one or two that he had figured were outside additions like himself, but he hadn’t wanted to say anything.

“Not many – maybe one or two a generation. Much like yourself, they come here and are caught in the sandstorm and we take them in. And also, much like you, they tend to have thick, high walls to protect themselves from their previous lives. I think that you’re well on your way to finding the peace and rest they’ve found here.”

Rodney wasn’t sure how to respond to that. As fond as he’d become of the Laprans and what they’d done for him – Kirby, Kelly, and Jillian specifically – he still wanted to go home. Besides, even with the progress he had already made, he figured it would take years for him to get through everything he had stored up.

Standing and picking up his bag and stool, Kirby asked, “Are you ready?”

“As much as I can be,” Rodney replied grabbing the other two stools.

Going outside, Kirby said, “I think you’ll be ready next week to start the next part of your training.”

“Seriously? I don’t know if I’m ready.” Learning about diseases and plants and how to use them medicinally was one thing. It was something else entirely to set bones and sew people up.

“I’m sure you’ll be ready. Now, starting today you’re going to be doing this on your own.”

Rodney gaped at him. “You’re kidding, right?”

“What makes you think I’m kidding? You’ve been doing this for over two months and you’ve got the information down very well. Every treatment you’ve told me has been correct. I have a feeling that if you were doing this in your native home, you’d be eager to do this alone.”

Rodney didn’t refute the statement as he asked, “What are you going to do?”

“I’ll be here to assist you, make sure you don’t kill anyone, that sort of thing.”

Rodney caught what Kirby said and replied, “You’re evil, you know that?”

“I have no idea of what you speak,” Kirby replied with a cheeky smile. “Here’s your first patient. Good morning, Jenna.”

“Good morning, Kirby-sensei, Rodney-kun.” She smiled as she sat down on the stool.

“Rodney will be helping you this morning.”

“Oh, he will, will he?” she replied, turning to him. “I knew it wouldn’t be long until you were treating people on your own,” she said to Rodney. “I figured you’d end up doing this back when you helped me that one day.”

“And how did you know that?” Rodney asked.

“An old woman knows these things,” she replied, tapping her temple and smiling. “Now, I’m here because I have a headache.”

“When did it start?”

“This morning when I woke up.”

“How much does it hurt?”

She glared at him. Enough that I’m here asking you to give me something.”

“Where exactly does it hurt?”

“Right in front.” She pointed to the middle of her forehead. “It’s like someone stuck a knife in there.”

“Okay.” Rodney opened Kirby’s medicine bag and pulled out a smaller pouch. Taking out a few small, dried leaves, he handed them over and said, “Make a strong tea with these and drink some now and then some at lunch and it should clear up your headache. If it doesn’t, come back and see me.”

“Thank you very much, Rodney-kun,” she said, standing. “I’m sure you’ll turn out to be just as good as your teacher.”

“She doesn’t have a headache,” Kirby quietly commented as she walked away.

“I know,” Rodney replied, “that’s why I gave her some mint leaves.”

“And what tipped you off?” Kirby asked.

“Whenever she complains of having a headache, it’s always in the back of her head and it’s radiating out to the sides. And those are from when she had a bad fall a number of years ago and hit her head. I think she just wanted to check me out.”

Kirby looked pleased. “Very good.”

That evening as he ate dinner with Kirby and Jillian, Rodney felt drained. It had been a long time since he’d spent the whole day around other people and he wasn’t used to it anymore. He had been sorely tempted to yell at a few people who let things go for too long without help, but he had otherwise enjoyed his day. The praise Kirby had given him – both subtle and overt – had felt very good, as had the thanks of everyone he had treated.

“What would your people think of what you’re doing now, Rodney?” Jillian asked.

Rodney shrugged. “They’d think I’ve gone crazy. I’ve never been a big fan of medicine and I tend to not take it seriously.” He looked down into his stew. “I can think of a few people who would use this as a way to get back at me for all the teasing I’ve given them about it.”

“Do you miss them?” she asked.

“What kind of question is that?” Rodney asked, head whipping up sharply. “Of course I miss them!” he replied vehemently. And Rodney was surprised at how much he actually meant it and how desperately he wanted to see them again, now that the words were out there.

“I was just curious,” she replied meekly, “since you haven’t spoken of them in quite a while.”

“Well, it’s kind of hard to keep talking about them when I haven’t seen them in twelve months and I’ve already rehashed all the good stories,” he replied indignantly.

“Rodney-kun!” Kirby interjected sharply, glaring at Rodney.

“I’m sorry,” Jillian said quietly. “I was only trying to make conversation.”

Rodney sighed. “I’m sorry too,” he replied. “I’m more homesick than I realized.” After a few minutes, Rodney sneaked a glance at Kirby, who was concentrating on finishing his stew. “Kirby, can I ask you something?” he asked after Jillian left to get water to clean up.

“You may, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied without looking up at him.

“Your, um, your apprentice – she wasn’t taken by the Wraith, was she?”

Kirby’s head jerked up as he looked at Rodney, alarmed. “What do you know about the Wraith?”

“Uh, they’re evil, life-sucking aliens. You guys aren’t Wraith sympathizers are you?”

“That would be impossible,” Kirby replied. “They haven’t been here in generations. Since the sandstorms started we haven’t had any problems with them. Since then, most people have come to believe that they’re just old tales used to scare naughty children. Only a few of us know that such creatures really do exist. I take it your people have had some experience with them?”

“Define some,” Rodney muttered. “Well, if the Wraith didn’t take her, who did?” he asked as Jillian came back in with two full buckets.

“The Korsans,” Kirby spat. “We used to have close ties to them – same as we do with the Morykos and the Nagdalis. But they became enraged when we told them that we wouldn’t be able to intermarry with them any longer. They weren’t suited to living in this type of environment and we weren’t suited to theirs and so, to keep more people from dying, we severed that part of the relationship with them. But a simple trading agreement wasn’t enough for them, so we cut them off from that too. The other tribes followed suit for the same reasons.”

“When that happened, they decided to start raiding us for food, supplies, and people to help supplement themselves,” Jillian added as she ladled the rest of the stew into a bowl and covered it for later. “They’ve done it every year since we kicked them out and they always do it after the tenth month festival finishes.”

“If they do it every year, why didn’t I know about it?” Rodney asked.

“Thankfully, they tend to stay away from the children,” Jillian replied as she started washing out the pot. “I only heard the last bit about Jerris. Do your people have stories of the Wraith, Rodney?”

Rodney was surprised that she actually sounded intrigued. “We do,” he replied warily.

“I would really like to hear them. I find them to be quite intriguing.”

“I doubt you’d say that if you met one up close and personal.”

Jillian stopped washing and looked up at Rodney excited. “Could you tell me some of your stories?”

“Hush, Jillian-chan,” Kirby said. “Rodney-kun’s tired. Maybe tomorrow if he feels up to it.”

Rodney couldn’t help but nod, relieved that he didn’t have to do it now, though he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to relive his experiences with the Wraith – period.

After dinner, Rodney joined Kelly, Jillian, and two other people their age in a game of dice. And Rodney lost miserably, much to Kelly and Jillian’s delight.

“Are you all right?” Kelly whispered as Jillian took her next turn.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Rodney replied, wiping a hand over his face. “I’m just exhausted.”

“Then why don’t you get some sleep?”

Rodney shook his head. “I can’t. My mind’s going too much.”

“Then meditate first. That usually calms me down.”

Rodney smiled inwardly at Kelly’s matter-of-factness about the meditation. Plus, he doubts that Kelly’s truly serious about ever having trouble falling asleep. “I think that would wind things up more.”

“Then remind me I need to talk to you tomorrow,” Kelly replied. “I wanted to talk to you tonight, but you look dead on your feet.”

“I feel like it. I think I’m going to get some sleep,” he said as he stood and Jillian cheered when she realized she had won the game after totaling up her points.

“You don’t want to play again, Rodney-kun?” she asked.

He shook his head. “If I don’t get to bed right now, I’m going to fall asleep here. Good night, everyone.”

A chorus of ‘good night’s followed him into Kirby and Jillian’s quarters. Even after all this time, it was still weird thinking of it as his as well, even though it seemed like everyone else considered it to be so.

Laying down on his cot completely dressed, Rodney sighed as he stared up at the ceiling. He sniffed. Sniffing again, he absently wiped away an escaping pair of tears. Rodney drew in a shaky breath and let it out slowly as more tears followed the first two, his breath hitching at the end.

They really weren’t coming for him. It was that simple. It’d been twelve months with nothing and Elizabeth wouldn’t let it go longer than this, if she had let things go even this long. Rodney knew deep down that he should have figured this out a long time ago, but he had always had a sliver of optimism that he liked to hold onto in even the direst situations. But he could feel that optimism slipping away as he rolled over onto his stomach and buried his head into his pillow, sobbing more freely now that the noise would be muffled and he wouldn’t have to deal with anyone else’s pity.

Rodney grieved for Atlantis, not out of any sort of egotistical pride because Zelenka was more than up to the task of protecting their city when it came down to it, but because he knew that they were going to face tough times. And he grieved for himself, that he would never be able to rejoin the first real family he’d ever had and because he was stuck on a backwater planet with technology well beneath his genius and weird people who didn’t understand the insanity of their situation.

He’d never be able to spar physically with Ronon or verbally with Zelenka again. Or admire Teyla and Elizabeth for their grace and strength. Or be with John. That’s what hurt the most. He’d never get to find out what happened between John and himself. Or see John’s smile, hear his laugh, watch him light up like a kid on Christmas when the city revealed a new and exciting part of herself.

Rodney let himself cry out his grief at losing Atlantis and having to close that door in his life much sooner than he wanted. Then he took deep, cleansing breaths as he gathered those parts of himself and locked them away deep inside. This was his life now and it wouldn’t help anything if he had errant thoughts or feelings for Atlantis and her inhabitants rolling around loose inside. Rodney slowly drifted into a deep, cleansing sleep.

“How do you feel?” Kirby asked the next morning as he and Rodney sat down to meditate. “I trust you feel better after last night?”

Rodney stared at Kirby for a moment, wanting to be offended that Kirby had heard him but found that he wasn’t, before replying, “Yeah, I feel good. I think I finally hit one of those breaking points you were talking about. I’m ready to get started.” And, actually, Rodney felt ready for a lot of things, as if he could feel the possibilities that might exist here.

Kirby studied him, then nodded once and said, “Good. Let’s begin. Close your eyes and deepen your breaths. Find that calm, quiet place inside of you and rest in it.”

Rodney followed Kirby’s quiet instructions and easily centered himself. He laughed internally at how easily he was able to now do what had been a monumental struggle of epic proportions when Kirby had first started making him meditate. Exhaling, he began telling Kirby about the first memory that came to mind and Kirby lightly guided him in releasing himself from it.

When they finished, Kirby smiled and said, “One day you’ll be doing this for someone else.”

“I doubt it,” Rodney replied with a grimace. “I’m sure I’ll have enough neuroses to keep me going on my own for a long, long time.”

“Perfect people make the worst teachers,” Kirby replied.

“Except for you maybe,” Rodney replied. “I doubt there’s anything you could have done that would make you a flawed man.”

“People can surprise you, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied, shoving himself up. “When you first woke up, I doubted you’d be able to make it here, but look at you now – you’re starting to thrive.”

Rodney blushed and ducked his head as also he stood. “I don’t know about *that*. Getting by, sure. Thriving? Eh, I’d like a second opinion.”

“Be careful, I just may get one for you, seeing as how I am comparable to your people’s doctors,” Kirby joked.

“And then I’ll just heedlessly ignore both opinions, just like I always have back home,” Rodney countered lightly with a smile. “What’s on the agenda today?”

“We’re going to start with covering how to set broken bones and then, depending on how long that takes, either after we finish that or tomorrow we’ll start working on stitching up wounds.”

Rodney swallowed audibly at that. He hoped he could hold back how squeamish he was about both broken bones and wounds that were bad enough that they required stitches. He and Jeannie had both been to the emergency room more than once for a broken bone and once each for stitches – a lot of them, and oddly enough for different incidents, even though they were both involved in both of them. And then when he got to Atlantis, he and the rest of the team had been tended to more than once for stitches.

“Don’t give me that look,” Kirby said. “I know you’ll get through this just fine.”

“I’m glad one of us does,” Rodney replied.

Kirby shook his head before saying, “Sometimes I wonder how someone who can be such a forceful blusterer can also be so uncomfortable in his own skin and unsure of his own abilities.”

“Then you obviously haven’t been listening all these months when you’ve had me tell you what I’m thinking.”

“Oh, I’ve been listening,” Kirby said, sitting down on his stool. “I simply don’t understand you, Rodney-kun.”

“Where’s your staff?” Rodney asked when Kelly showed up that afternoon.

“In my quarters,” Kelly replied as if it was the most evident thing in the world. “We’re not practicing today.”

“What’s wrong?” Rodney asked, worried.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Kelly replied as Rodney put his staff away. “I thought it might be nice for you to have a day off. Plus, I think it’s time you made your own staff.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Rodney asked, but still hoping Kelly was telling him the truth.

“Nope. You’ve been doing really well and I think you’re ready. After this you’ll be able to spar with others – which I think will be what you need to help you improve.”

“This is just – wow.” Rodney grinned, following Kelly as they headed into the caves. “Hey, last night you said you wanted to talk to me about something?”

“Yes, I, um,” Kelly quickly licked his lips and Rodney could see the nervous tension bunching in his shoulders. “Let’s go down to the pools.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied, willing to let Kelly direct this conversation since he had no clue what was going on.

They sat on the side of the bathing pool and took off their moccasins and rolled up their pant legs before letting their legs dangle in the water. Rodney waited much more patiently than he thought he was capable of while Kelly collected his thoughts.

“I know that this will sound weird to you,” Kelly finally started, “but I’ve thought this through completely and I hope you’ll do so as well before giving me an answer.” He looked at Rodney shyly as he said, “I consider us to be very good friends and I hope that you do as well. I’d like to have a binding ceremony.”

“A binding ceremony?” Rodney asked, confused. “Is that like marriage or something?”

“Or something – though there are some similarities,” Kelly replied with a small smile. “I don’t know about your customs on such matters, but here it’s common for two friends who are very close to make their friendship stronger by having a binding ceremony.”

“Yeah, we don’t do that,” Rodney replied. “We kind of take it for granted.”

Kelly’s brow furrowed. “Then how do you honor such an important relationship?”

Rodney shrugged. “We just kind of know. We tend to spend more time with that person than our other friends, tell them things we wouldn’t tell just anyone, seek their advice on things.”

“That’s not so different then,” Kelly said, sounding more confident. “And yet you do nothing to honor that?”

Rodney shook his head. “Not really, no.”

“Your people are weird, Rodney-chan.”

“So I’ve been told,” Rodney replied with a smile. “Can I think about it?”

“Sure,” Kelly replied easily. “And don’t feel weird if you have questions – I’m more than happy to explain things to you.”

Rodney nodded silently, not sure exactly what to think. He figured that John was the closest thing to a best friend that Rodney had ever had. There were times when they exasperated the hell out of each other and even argued, not to mention the whole Doranda incident, but their friendship had grown easily and naturally. And at the end of the day, Rodney knew that John always had his back and that they were still friends. Rodney hoped that John knew that Rodney felt the same way.

They had also had some really good times – both on missions and in Atlantis. And John *had* been the one Rodney had gone to when he was thinking about asking out Katie Brown – well, before Lt Cadman had gotten stuck in his brain. And there had been a few times when Rodney thought John was going to confide in him, but John always took it back before anything got past his lips.

On the flip side, while he was flattered that Kelly thought so highly of him; sometimes it felt like Kelly’s friendship was more out of necessity than an actual desire to be friends with him. Rodney did genuinely like him, but sometimes he felt like they were so close only because the closeness in age had fostered a sense of intimacy that had helped develop to their friendship more fully than it otherwise might have. Rodney sighed as he realized that this might actually be a harder decision than he had planned.

Rodney thought about it for a few more days, unable to come to a decision. The hope he’d seen on Kelly’s face was something he didn’t want to damage. But he was afraid that they wouldn’t be able to make it work and then they’d be stuck with no way out. And he didn’t want to do that to Kelly.

“What is it, Rodney-kun?” Jillian asked while they were eating dinner.

“Kelly asked me to…bind with him? Is that right?” Rodney looked between Kirby and Jillian.

They both grinned and Kirby said, “That’s great news! When did he ask you?”

“About a week ago.”

“So what’s the problem?” Jillian asked.

Rodney shrugged. “It just feels weird, since we don’t have something like this at home. I don’t want to take advantage of his friendship.”

“Believe me, you’re not taking advantage,” Kirby replied. “Being bound to someone is almost as sacred to us as marriage and we make sure we’re personally ready and know why we want it before we even think about asking the other person.”

“Oh,” Rodney replied.

“I’m really happy for you,” Jillian said, grinning. “I always knew you and Kelly would be bonded.”

Rodney just shrugged his eyebrows as he went back to eating. He still wasn’t sure how to respond to the whole situation.

The bonding issue got pushed to the back of Rodney’s mind as his medical training intensified. As he stitched up his second cut, he decided that he was definitely apologizing to Carson and getting him some sort of “please forgive me gift” – maybe a fruit basket.

From stitching people up, they moved on to minor surgery and, finally, pregnancy and delivery. Most of the work that they did was theoretical, with a lot of lecturing and some startlingly exact drawings. This was the point where Rodney was surprised to realize that the Laprans didn’t actually have a written language. He knew that their history was preserved orally and he had seen Kirby and some of the elders pouring over some scrolls when they were setting up a marriage, but otherwise, he hadn’t had a reason to think about it, one way or the other. And as he studied the drawings, he was surprised at how perfectly detailed the pictures were. (This being something else he had to thank Carson for – he had routinely plunked down medical books in front of Rodney and told him to be quiet when he was in the infirmary for extended stays and not allowed to do work. At the time, Rodney had thought of it as punishment, now he was grateful.)

“How are you feeling, Lillian?” Kirby asked, gently touching the woman’s distended belly. “Any problems? Pain?”

She shook her head as she smiled. “Everything’s been fine. The baby’s been kicking a lot, but otherwise things have been fine.”

“That’s good. You should be due any day now, so I want you to keep up what you’ve been doing and get over here as soon as the birthing pains start.” He and Rodney helped her stand. “Otherwise –”

“I need help!” Harry said breathlessly, running up to them. “Henry’s cut his leg open on a piece of glass and it’s bleeding bad.”

“Finish up with Lillian,” Kirby said as he gathered up what he needed and followed Harry.

Rodney nodded mutely as he steadied Lillian and said, “Otherwise, we’ll see you in two days.”

She nodded and said, “Thank you, Rodney.” She got as far as the entrance to Rodney’s borough before doubling-over in pain.

Rodney rushed over to her. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“My water broke,” she said as she slowly straightened, before putting a hand on her stomach and grimacing in pain.

“Should I get anyone?” Rodney asked, knowing she’d want someone close to her to help.

“Laura,” she gasped, “my bond friend.”

Seeing a young boy nearby watching them, he said, “Kieran – go get Laura.” When the boy gaped a moment, Rodney snapped, “Now!” which moved him into action.

Rodney ushered her back to Kirby’s area and had her pace while he got the necessary items ready and partitioned off the area. There wasn’t anywhere to really seclude themselves, so this would have to do. Rodney breathed deeply, trying to keep calm. He mentally went over everything Kirby had taught him and what he had seen when Jerri had gone into labor a few weeks before. Rodney hoped that Lillian’s labor was as easy as her pregnancy had been.

Laura burst through the curtain with a bag and hugged Lillian tearfully. They talked quietly for a moment before another contraction hit. She sat down on the birthing chair and started breathing deeply.

As Rodney and Laura helped her through the birth, Rodney felt like he was on autopilot. The steps of when to give her what and what to do when and in case of X came to him easily as they worked and soon he was relaxing as Lillian was holding a baby girl swathed in swaddling clothes and she and Laura were talking quietly and happily.

While he cleaned up, Rodney kept sneaking glances at them and couldn’t help but see the closeness that they exuded. And he couldn’t help remembering that Kelly had offered him the same type of relationship. He knew now that the only answer he had for that was ‘yes’.

When Kirby came back a while later, bloody and looking weary, the first thing said was Rodney’s, “How’s Henry?”

“He’s weak, but fine,” Kirby replied, sounding as tired as he looked, as he washed his hands. “I see everything went okay here?” he asked, looking over at Lillian and the baby, who were asleep on an extra cot and Jillian, who was keeping watch over them.

“Surprisingly, yeah.”

“I’m not surprised,” Kirby replied proudly. “I knew you’d be able to do it.”

“I have to go talk to Kelly,” Rodney quickly said, wanting an escape from where the conversation might go.

Kirby nodded and shooed him off.

Rodney went to Kelly’s quarters and hailed them before entering.

“What can I do for you?” Kelly asked, standing from where he was putting some things in his trunk.

“My answer’s yes,” Rodney blurted out, not sure how else to say it.

Kelly’s face lit up and he hugged Rodney, surprising him with the touch. “I promise you won’t regret this. Now we just have to plan the ceremony.”

Rodney couldn’t help but laugh as he wondered exactly what he had gotten himself into.

“I still don’t get it,” Rodney said.

“What’s not to get?” Kelly asked, exasperated. “It’s not that hard to get.”

“Maybe for you – you’ve grown up with this. I just recently found out that you people have ceremonies to recognize people as best friends and that you want to have one with me.”

“Yes, I do,” Kelly replied rolling his eyes.

Rodney petted the nose of the yak that was patiently standing on the other side of the railing. “It’s just… odd.”

Kelly huffed and leaned more heavily against the inside of the railing. “It’s not odd. Your people are odd for not recognizing such a thing.”

“You’re probably right.” Rodney paused a second before finally asking something that had been weighing on his mind. “What if something happens and we’re no longer best friends?”

Kelly shrugged. “First we make sure that it’s something that can’t be salvaged. Once we’re both sure beyond a doubt and we’ve had meditation with one of the elders, we can dissolve the bond.”

“That seems rather anticlimactic,” Rodney commented.

“It’s happened a few times,” Kelly replied. “Not many, though.”

“Why don’t you have a best friend?” Rodney asked, curious.

“I did,” Kelly replied, pointedly not looking at Rodney as he ran a hand through the yak’s coat. “He left to marry a Morykon girl just before you came.” He absently rubbed the upper ridge of his ear. “We decided to dissolve the bond on the grounds of his new duties as a husband in another tribe.”

“How long had you been best friends?” Rodney asked, curious.

“Since our twelfth cycle.”

Rodney’s train of thought faltered. He couldn’t imagine having a *friend* for that long, let alone a *best friend*. “Will you ever be able to see him again?”

Kelly shrugged. “Maybe. If he comes here during the festival.”

“Don’t your people ever go off-world?”

Kelly looked at Rodney and shook his head. “Most of us have no real need to. Only Kirby, the elders, and the heads of our guilds would have reason to.” He smiled wistfully.

Rodney looked at him perplexed. “Haven’t you tried keeping in contact, seeing how he’s doing?”

Turning his attention back to the yak, Kelly continued, “I asked about him at the last festival and they told me he’s doing well. He’s learning a new trade and he and his wife already have one child and another on the way – so they’ll have at least two by now. I can’t ask for much more than that.”

Rodney felt bad for Kelly. Back on Earth, and even on Atlantis to some extent, if people moved away there were still ways for them to keep in touch with their friends and family. Deciding to move the conversation along, he asked, “So, how does the whole ceremony thing work?”

The tension in Kelly’s body seemed to ease. “We exchange vows in front of witnesses to be there for each other through all things as well as ear cuffs that represent our bonded status,” he chuckled, “even though everyone already thinks it’s just a matter of time before we’re bonded.”

“That sounds simple enough,” Rodney pronounced.

“It is,” Kelly replied with a smile. “Jean will take charge of the ceremony. My father, Kirby and Jillian have agreed to be our witnesses and I’ve gotten everything ready. So, it’s just a matter of figuring out when we want to do it.”

The insanity of what he was doing overwhelmed Rodney for a moment, but he pushed it down. He thought for a minute before saying, “Well, I formally finish my training with Kirby tomorrow and I start with the silk guild in three days.” Rodney looked at Kelly uncertainly. “Maybe we could do it somewhere in between there?”

Kelly nodded as he ducked between the fence railings. “That could work. Let Kirby and Jillian know we’ll do it the day after tomorrow and I’ll let my father know. They’ll help you get ready.”

“What do you mean by ‘help you get ready’?” Rodney asked, eyes narrowing in trepidation.

Kelly laughed. “You don’t have to look like you just drank bad milk, Rodney-chan. You’ve been here long enough to know that we do things in certain, and completely harmless, ways.”

Rodney’s “last official day of training” included a pop exam – which he was surprised to find he was able to ace easily.

When they were finished, Kirby grinned at him and said, “Congratulations. You’ve finished the majority of your training, though you are expected to continue seeking instruction and help. But you are, from here on, to be viewed as competent enough to give medical aid on your own.”

“I doubt I’m really ready, Kirby,” Rodney replied. “Some of the things you’ve taught me –”

Kirby leveled a stiff stare at him and Rodney shut up. “Rodney-kun, this is not a point to argue. It is understood that there are things you’ve learned that you have no practical experience with yet. And I will be happy to assist you if you need help in those areas. Otherwise, accept the fact that you have completed the training that our people have used for generations to teach healers and that you’ve been found acceptable in your learning.”

Rodney nodded, humbled, before changing the subject and saying, “Kelly and I have set the date for our binding ceremony for tomorrow.”

“Congratulations are again in order, it seems. I know you’ve both made a good decision and will be good bond friends for each other.”

Nervously, Rodney said, “Kelly said you’d know what I’d need to do to get ready.”

Kirby nodded. “You’ll need to meditate either this afternoon or tonight and make sure that you’re going into this with a clear conscience and with the right motives. You need to make sure that you’re not doing this for your own gain, but with the intention of being there for Kelly and letting him be there for you. And then tomorrow before the ceremony, you’ll take a bath.”

“That’s it?” Rodney asked, surprised.

“That’s it,” Kirby confirmed. “Now scoot. I’m letting you off early today on account of that, so don’t waste your time. This is one meditation session no one can help you with and I want to make sure that you give yourself enough time. Use our quarters and I’ll make sure you won’t be disturbed for a while.”

Rodney nodded mutely, not sure what to say, and headed into their quarters, taking his stool with him. Setting it by the head of his cot, he sighed, not sure how to go about what he needed to do. He kicked off his moccasins and sat half-lotus on the floor, his back resting against his cot. Closing his eyes, Rodney began breathing deeply and evenly, using the action as an anchor to center himself.

When he got to his quiet place, which he had always pictured as a deserted Atlantean lab, he let out a long breath. As he breathed in his next breath, he asked himself, ‘What are my reasons for bonding with Kelly?’ On the available laptop, he opened a new Word file and typed up, 1. Because he’s been a good friend to me. 2. Because I want to show him I can be the friend he thinks I am. 3. Because I want to show myself I can be the friend he thinks I am.

Staring at the blinking cursor, he next asked himself, ‘What are my reasons for *not* bonding with Kelly?’ and typed, 1. I don’t deserve a friend as good as him – just like I didn’t deserve John. 2. Because sooner or later he’ll realize I’m not worth it. 3. I don’t think I can be the friend he thinks I am.

He stared at the two sets of answers, unsure of how to proceed. He hit the Enter key a few times and then typed Other notes: I really do want to do this. I doubt I’m qualified for the faith Kelly has in me and I don’t know why he likes me as much as he does, but I want to prove that I’m worth it and that he’s not misplacing his friendship and his faith. And I want to be for him what I couldn’t be for John. And what John wouldn’t let me be for him. If he hasn’t run screaming yet, there just might be a chance this could work. I can do this.

Feeling calmer than he expected and at peace with his decision, Rodney slowly pulled himself out of his meditative state and blinked a few times as his eyes readjusted to the light. He slowly stood and stretched before grabbing his stool and going back out front to tell Kirby he was finished.

“How did it go?” Kirby asked.

“Good,” Rodney replied. “I think I’m ready.”

“Good,” Kirby replied with a nod. “I know your heart would tell you if you weren’t.”

The next morning, Rodney slightly freaked out over breakfast about the impending ceremony. So, instead of their normal meditation, Kirby led Rodney through a series of relaxation exercises. As they finished up, Rodney had to admit that the butterflies in his stomach had settled down considerably and he felt like there was a good chance he’d be able to get through the ceremony.

“Now, bath,” Kirby pronounced, handing over a towel, soap, and clean clothes. “Be thorough.”

Rodney rolled his eyes as he left, but did as he was told once he got into the bathing pool. The clothes he put on afterwards were new and fit well. Rodney made a mental note to be careful with them and to ask who Kirby had gotten them from so he could give them back once they’d been cleaned.

“You look great,” Jillian said when he returned.

“Thanks,” Rodney replied, blushing slightly. “Who did Kirby get these clothes from?”

“They’re yours,” she replied with a smile. “We had them made as a gift for your binding ceremony.”

Rodney ran his hands over the front of his shirt, marveling at the craftsmanship. “Wow. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Are you ready for the ceremony? The others should be ready to start by now.”

Rodney shrugged and said, “Ready as I’ll ever be,” as he followed her out of their quarters.

Rodney was thankful that the common area was deserted except for Kelly and his father, Kirby, Jillian, and Jean – all of whom were looking at him expectantly as he, suddenly petrified, stepped out from behind the curtain.

“Come, Rodney,” Jean said, with an amused smile, from where the group was standing in the middle of the commons. “We won’t hurt you.”

Rodney slowly moved forward. No matter how they explained the ceremony, he still felt like he was about to get married and all he could think was this wasn’t anything like how he would have imagined it. When Rodney joined them, Jillian and Kirby moved to stand behind him, Kelly next to him, and his father behind him. Rodney couldn’t help shyly returning Kelly’s grin.

“Now,” Jean said, coming to stand in front of Kelly and Rodney. “We are here today to bind together Kelly, son of Kelly of Lapras, and Rodney McKay of Atlantis, in friendship. This ceremony is to recognize their committed friendship to each other and their desire to support each other in ways that a wife cannot.” Turning to Kelly, she said, “Kelly, do you promise to support Rodney to the best of your abilities in all areas of his life, to help him through the tough times and celebrate his joys?”

“I do,” Kelly replied solemnly as he held Rodney’s gaze.

Turning to Rodney, Jean said, “Rodney, do you promise to support Kelly to the best of your abilities in all areas of his life, to help him through the tough times and celebrate his joys?”

“I do,” Rodney replied, his voice steadier than he had anticipated.

“As is our tradition, a pair that has bonded symbolically shows it by wearing an earring cuff. These are supplied by the families.” Looking at Kelly and Kirby, she said, “Do you have them?”

“We do,” they replied and presented the silver earring cuffs. Rodney took the one Kirby handed him with trembling fingers and looked back and forth between Jean and Kelly.

Jean nodded and Kelly gently put the cuff just below the top curve of Rodney’s left ear. Rodney carefully mirrored Kelly’s action, not wanting to hurt him or drop the piece of jewelry.

“By your intentions and your words, you are now bonded friends,” Jean pronounced. “May it be so for the rest of your lives and may you thrive in each other’s company.”

Kelly grinned and Rodney smiled tentatively as the others congratulated them.

“Now what?” Rodney whispered to Kelly.

Kelly shrugged. “Business as usual.”

“Seriously?” Rodney practically squeaked in surprise.

“Seriously. What were you expecting?”

Rodney shrugged, at a loss for words. “Honestly, I have no idea.”

“Game of dice after dinner?” Kelly asked.

“Sure,” Rodney replied, not sure what else to say.

The group went their separate ways and Rodney followed Kirby into their quarters, at a loss for something to say and how he should be feeling.

“Are you all right, Rodney-kun?” Kirby asked, giving him an appraising once over.

“Yeah, I think so,” Rodney replied slowly. “I’m just not sure how to react.”

Kirby’s brow furrowed. “You’re not regretting your decision, are you?”

“No, no, no,” Rodney replied quickly. He paused to take a shaky breath before continuing, “Like I told Kelly, this is just a little odd for me, since we don’t have something like this where I’m from.”

“Ah,” Kirby replied, the tension in his brow relaxing as he smiled warmly and picked up some of their things. “You’ve done exceptionally well with us these past fifteen months.”

“Yeah, well,” Rodney made a face as he played with his earring cuff before picking up his stool and Kirby’s medicine bag. “Let’s talk about how well I’m doing after tomorrow.”

“Worried about starting your training with the silk guild?” Kirby asked as he ducked out into the commons.

“Yeah,” Rodney replied, “which is weird because I think that what I’ve learned from you is harder.”

“It is,” Kirby replied with a chuckle. “But what you’re about to learn has its own challenges and there are other factors involved – like the fact that you’re going to be learning from more people and you’ll be doing it with other people.”

“With a bunch of *children*,” Rodney retorted as he followed him and set down his stool and the bag. “And I won’t have anyone’s life hanging in the balance. I shouldn’t be so nervous.”

Kirby rolled his eyes and smiled as he sat down and began making sure his bag was in order. “We each have our own eccentricities, Rodney-kun. I think you’ll find that your fear has more to do with the unknown than with what they actually think of you.”

“You really haven’t been listening while I vent, have you?” Rodney asked as he paced, his hand idly coming up to play with his new accessory. “Underneath all my bluster, I have a very soft ego that needs to be continually reassured.”

“And I think you’re also much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’ve faced down the Wraith a number of times, you’ve alluded to a number of scary situations that you handled very well, and you survived your family.”

“While that’s definitely an accomplishment, it’s not exactly the same as being ridiculed for your own performance.”

“You’ll be fine, I promise. And quit stop playing with your earring cuff – it’s distracting.”

While they played dice out in the commons, Rodney finally got the courage to quietly ask Kelly, “So, I’ve been meaning to ask. What’s up with the ‘no touching’ rule?” He’d noticed over the months that while the Laprans were quick to praise each other, they barely touched each other unless it was absolutely necessary. Normally, he wouldn’t have given it a second thought and would have been glad for the physical distance. (Even with John unintentionally breaking down his barriers one at a time.) But after almost a year and a half of nothing except the most minimal of touches and Rodney found himself at least curious, if not almost craving.

“How do you mean?” Kelly asked, perplexed.

“I mean, why don’t you people touch each other? Pats on the back, holding hands, hugs, stuff like that.”

The furrow in Kelly’s brow deepened. “I don’t understand.”

Rodney sighed, trying to figure out how to explain it. “Okay, let’s try this.” He leaned over and put his hand on Kelly’s shoulder. “Is this a good touch or bad touch?”

Kelly shrugged Rodney’s hand off as he hissed, “What are you doing?”

“Trying to get an answer,” Rodney ground out. “I’m guessing that would be considered a ‘bad touch’. Look, I’m just curious. Where I’m from, while my people touch each other for a variety of reasons and not all of it’s good, it seems like we touch each other *a lot* more than your people do. So, it’s weird for me to come to a place where it’s hardly done at all.”

The tension in Kelly’s brow eased a bit as he took his turn. “And you’re just asking this now?”

“Well, I was trying to be tactful and polite – not something I was inclined to do back in Atlantis. I’m sure you can understand my desire to not want to piss off the people who are keeping me alive. But you know I’m an inquisitive guy. So – no touching – what’s up?”

Kelly looked around to see if anyone was listening before leaning in and saying, “As you know, we’re a small population and we have to be very careful about what we do and don’t do to ensure our survival. Obviously, the easiest way to do that is to prohibit touch as much as possible outside of marriage.”

Something Heightmeyer had once said when she was trying to get him to reach out to others popped into Rodney’s brain. “But studies have been done where I’m from that show people need touch in order to survive.”

Kelly shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know what to say, Rodney-chan. We’ve found other ways to help us survive, I guess. Like being as verbally supportive as we can.”

“Yeah, you people do do that more than mine do,” Rodney said as he picked up the dice.

“Then how do your people show affection?”

“Sometimes touch, sometimes with words, but a lot of times we…don’t.”

“And that I don’t understand. I figured as much with how I’ve seen you react when we praise you. I doubt either our way or your people’s way is perfect, Rodney-chan, but I guess there’s some logic in both.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

The next day, Rodney was apprehensive all through breakfast and his meditation session.

“You’re like a child on the first day of school,” Jillian said with a giggle as she gathered the things she needed for that morning.

“That analogy isn’t wrong,” Rodney replied shortly, as he shifted from one foot to the other while he waited for her.

“You’ll be fine,” Kirby told him with a reassuring smile. “Just remember that the other kids are going to be in the same place you are.”

“Not helping any,” Rodney ground out and both Kirby and Jillian laughed.

“Come on,” she said heading towards the flap, “I’ll show you where you need to go.”

Rodney followed her amid Kirby’s well-wishes for the day. “You’ll do fine,” she replied with a smile.

“I’m glad someone here believes it,” he said dryly, pointedly not looking at her. “Rewiring circuits, building intricate systems, coding programs – those things I can do. Spinning thread and then weaving it? I highly doubt it.”

“You’re giving yourself too little credit. You’ve told us how you were in the top of your field back on Atlantis. I’m sure that if such is the case, you’ll have no problem picking this up. And here we are. I’ll see you later, Rodney-kun.”

Before Rodney could protest, she was gone and Rodney was left to fend for himself. Rodney carefully eyed the large room that held a few large looms, as well as some smaller ones – and they were all being used. Proficiently. Rodney carefully walked into the room, doing his best to be discreet, while some of his “classmates” raced in.

“Hi, Rodney,” Laura said from where she was working on one of the larger looms.

“Uh, hi, Laura,” he said shyly as he went over to her. “How are Lillian and the baby doing?”

“They’re doing great,” she replied with a grin. “They’ll be checking in with Kirby tomorrow. Thank you so much for what you did. You did a great job.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied, blushing.

“Nervous?” she asked and he nodded. “Don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine.” As she finished weaving a row, she said, “I’m making a set of linens for a newly-wed couple in a tribe we trade with.”

Rodney looked at the intricately woven pattern in the silk. “It’s beautiful,” he said.

She smiled. “Thank you. Everyone’s gathering to start, so we should go over.”

Rodney nodded and followed her over to where everyone else was gathering – the experienced weavers on one side and the new students on the other.

“I would like to offer a warm welcome to our new students,” an older man said. “My name is Matthew, and this is my wife, Lucy. We are the heads of the silk guild. Over the next five months, you will be trained in our ways and in every aspect of making silk – from care for the silkworms and harvesting the silk to preparing the raw silk and dying it to, finally, spinning and weaving it. It will be hard work, but it is rewarding work. You all will also be paired with someone who’s experienced so that you will have someone to learn from and who can help you when you run into problems. We’ll pair you up now and then get started.”

Rodney did his best to not fidget while everyone was being paired up. Waiting to see who he was going to be paired with during school had always been a pain. He had never liked his partners because they weren’t able to keep up and they didn’t like him because of his short temper.

‘Here, though’, he couldn’t help thinking, ‘here would be different’. For once he would actually be on equal footing with everyone else. Rodney couldn’t help but figure that there had to be some sort of cosmic sense of humor when he was paired last. On the upside, he was paired with Laura, so things couldn’t be all bad.

She smiled as she came over to him. “See, I told you that you would be fine.”

“Isn’t pride one of the seven deadly sins?” Rodney commented dryly, before waving his hand dismissively and commenting, “Forget it – that was a lame joke from Earth.”

“All right, everyone,” Lucy said, bringing things back to order. “Listen closely.”

The first month had Rodney spell-bound. The morning classes began with lectures on the beginnings of silk production and how it had become one of their staple exports. They then led into lectures on the silkworms themselves and how the Laprans had bred them to produce the maximum amount of silk with a minimum of light, space, and food. Rodney had never given much credence to the geneticists on Atlantis – thinking that their work, and by extension, Carson’s work with the ATA gene, was little more than luck of the draw. But seeing how simple Mendelian genetics had provided a way to help these people to survive, Rodney was amazed. In the afternoons, they watched their mentors as they worked.

“How did you get started doing this?” Rodney asked Laura one day.

She shrugged. “I was born into it. While it doesn’t happen this way for most families, my family’s done it for generations so it was expected that I would as well. Though, I doubt it would have been the end of the world if I had shown more desire to make glass or herd yaks.”

“Then how does it work for everyone else?”

She shrugged as she finished one row and started the next. “From what I’ve heard, the kids take tests starting at the beginning of their eleventh cycle. But, like I said, my family is one of the few that’s done the same thing for generations, so we’re exempt from the tests. How did you get picked for this?”

Rodney shrugged. “I showed an interest when I was watching the kids and the mother who was spinning showed me how to do to it and felt that I had a talent for it. So here I am.”

Beginning in the second month of their training, Rodney and the rest of his classmates started actually helping in the production. They started by harvesting the silk from the silkworms – a trickier and stickier process than Rodney had expected. The gummy secretion that held the fibers together tended to get all over Rodney’s hands, and even on his clothes, no matter how hard he tried to keep it contained. He also tended to get more than enough water on himself during his turns on the cleaning basins.

More than once, he had to walk away, exasperated and angry, when the fiber wasn’t cooperating and he was having a harder time than he had expected with it. And the fact that Laura and the rest of the experienced workers were very patient with him and encouraged him as much as possible and Laura continually helped him and showed him how to do things frustrated him rather than calmed him.

“I thought you were excited about learning the silk trade,” Kelly said at lunch.

“I am,” Rodney replied after sitting down with an ‘oomph’. “I just don’t like certain aspects of it.”

“Such as?”

“Unraveling the fibers is a sticky mess and I get the gum all over and I tend to get the water all over too and it’s a pain in the ass.”

Kelly stared at him.

“What?” Rodney asked shortly.

Kelly blinked slowly and said, “I work with yaks, Rodney-chan. I’m sure you can figure it out.”

Rodney gaped for a moment, working it out, before snapping his mouth shut and reddening slightly, looking down sheepishly. “Oh. Sorry. If you haven’t noticed yet, I tend to get stuck in my own problems from time to time.”

“Yeah, I’d noticed,” Kelly replied with a chuckle and a smile. “But you have gotten much better about it since you’ve come here.”

Rodney swallowed a mouthful of stew. “That’s because Kirby makes me deal with things during my meditation time.”

“It’s obviously working. Have you been keeping up with your silences?”

“No,” Rodney replied.

“Why not?” Kelly asked, stirring his stew.

Rodney narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean ‘why not’?”

Kelly held Rodney’s gaze. “I mean, ‘why not?’. It obviously seemed to help you before.”

“But that was with other stuff, not with working with silk.”

“And one thing can’t have more than one use?”

“So, you’re basically saying that you think I should start the whole ‘vow of silence’ thing up again just to see if it’ll help me as I work on the silk?”

“For the most part.” Kelly finished off his stew. “I think you should do it because it will help you center yourself in a lot of ways – including your training – and because we both know that by taking some time out, it’ll be good for you. But I don’t think it’ll be a quick fix for you.”

Rodney was surprised at his defensiveness over the topic. He had gone through the ‘vow of silence’ before and it had done him good, but this time the suggestion prickled his nerves for some reason. “And when was the last time you took ‘some time out’?”

“A few days ago. Look, I can tell this conversation is making you uneasy for some reason. I was merely suggesting it as a way to help you focus.”

“I’ll consider it,” Rodney replied, the tension that had suddenly appeared slowly seeping away as he finished his stew.

On the way back to the silk production portion of the compound, Rodney felt himself centering and growing quiet as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him. No one seemed to mind that he was quieter than normal as they went about their work and no one seemed to mind when he didn’t respond – which made him feel a bit weird, since he hadn’t told them what he was going to do. They just responded by changing their speech patterns to be either statements or simple yes and no question so he could either nod or shake his head. But he found that it did help his concentration and his focus and he was able to do a better job with the silk fibers.

“Okay, everyone,” Lucy said at their next morning gathering. “We have a month and a half until the festival. This means that classes will be suspended until after the festival concludes.”

There was a happy buzzing from the kids and Rodney had to smile. It seemed like kids were the same, regardless of the galaxy.

“That, however, doesn’t mean that our new apprentices are off the hook,” she said, giving them all a stern look at the kids’ groan. “You will be helping your mentor with their job, so that all of our projects can be finished in time for the festival’s start. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes,” Rodney and the kids chorused.

“Good. Now, let’s get to work.”

As Rodney met up with Laura and watched her start working, he stayed quiet. He couldn’t describe how good it felt to not have to worry about keeping up his end of the conversation and not offend Laura as she chatted about the goings-on in her borough of the tribe. Interspersed with her weaving and talking, she would have Rodney fetch things for her, such as more silk thread in various colors, sometimes a drink or a snack, and sometimes to give someone a message – and he thought it was considerate that she asked first if he didn’t mind breaking his silence to do so.

Rodney enjoyed watching her talented fingers as they deftly worked the shuttle through the taut threads and pulled a new thread tight across. Soon, though, the rhythm of her words and the repetition of her hands upon the loom lulled Rodney into a quasi-meditative state and he had to repeatedly shake himself out of it.

The days passed quickly with the whole tribe in a state of low-level chaos. It surprised Rodney that almost everyone put in long hours to finish their wares and to get everything else ready for the festival. The only ones who didn’t seem busy were Jean and Kirby.

“Rodney-san! Rodney-san!” a kid yelled as he and a few others ran into the commons from further in the complex, breathless and grinning.

Rodney couldn’t help but smile at the title of respect that they gave him, even if they all had the same status in the silk guild. “What is it, Michael-kun?”

“We wanted to know – well, Lisa wanted to know – what’s your favorite festival food?”

Rodney looked between the kids, the girl in question blushing furiously. “I don’t have one, actually. My first festival was last year and I spent all of it with all of you. Remember?”

They looked between each other and then back at him, nodding.

Rodney looked between them, bemused. “Why did you want to know?”

Michael beckoned him closer and he bent down for him to whisper in his ear. “Lisa wanted to share some of her festival cake with you.”

“That’s not nice, Michael-chan!” Lisa said angrily, as she punched him in the arm. “I don’t go around saying things to the girls you like.”

“That’s because I don’t tell you who I like,” Michael pouted, rubbing his arm.

“Kids, kids, kids!” Rodney interjected. “Be nice. Lisa, if Michael’s telling the truth, I’ll be happy to share some of your cake. And Michael, it really isn’t a good idea to go around telling other people’s secrets. Sooner or later it’s going to backfire on you and trust me – it won’t be pretty. Now, don’t you all have some things you should be doing?”

Lisa beamed and Michael continued pouting as the troupe headed out of the commons and back to their own homes.

Kelly sidled up next to Rodney as he watched them go. “You’re handling them better than you used to,” he commented.

“Yeah, well, it’s kind of hard not to when you’re stuck with them every day for two and a half months,” Rodney replied. “They kind of grow on you.” Glancing at Kelly, Rodney said, “So, this whole festival thing… what’s it about?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’s it all about’?” Kelly replied, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I mean what I said,” Rodney said, turning to Kelly. “We’ve been running around like crazy for three weeks and no one will tell me what’s going on.”

Kelly rolled his eyes. “How can you not know about the tenth month festival? It’s the biggest event of the year! All of our trading partners will be coming to settle debts and renegotiate contracts.”

“You could’ve just said so,” Rodney said with a small huff. “That hardly sounds like a state secret. Does the sandstorm stop for the month too?”

“Actually, it does,” Kelly replied.

“Seriously?” Rodney asked in surprise. “Why didn’t you say so before?”

Kelly shrugged. “I’ve lived here my whole life, remember? For me, this is normal. You’ve been here not quite two cycles.”

Rodney nodded in agreement. “True. With the way everyone’s been going on about different aspects of it and such, it makes me think of Christmas.”

“Christmas?” Kelly replied, curious.

“It’s a major religious holiday where I’m from – lots of gift-giving and food. Though, we tend to not do business then.”

“Speaking of which – I’ve got to get moving if I’m going to be done in time. And Kirby wants to see you. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye,” Rodney replied as he headed over to Kirby. “You wanted to see me?” he asked.

“I do. Sit.” Once Rodney had settled himself on the other stool, Kirby gave him a hard, appraising look before saying, “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing okay,” Rodney replied calmly, trying to not let his worry that something was wrong show.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. Why?” Rodney’s tone turned more hesitant. Maybe something was horribly wrong.

“I just feel that you’re trying to keep yourself from dealing with something in our meditation sessions and I wanted to check in with you on that.”

“Now?” Rodney asked, looking around.

“They won’t come over unless there’s an emergency, you know that. So, tell me.”

Rodney shrugged outwardly, inwardly relieved that nothing was wrong. “There isn’t really anything to tell. It’s just the same stuff we’ve been dealing with since we started.”

“Okay, you have two options – you can either tell me or you can go meditate on your own right now.”

“What the –?” Rodney stared at Kirby. “Are you threatening me with a time out?”

“You know me better than that, Rodney-kun. I can tell something’s been bothering you for the past couple of days and you know that I like for things to be dealt with right away.”

“Fine,” Rodney huffed, “I’ll go meditate.” He practically stomped into their quarters; his moccasins hushed by the sand and cloth and he wished he could slam the curtain to their quarters.

Once inside, Rodney looked around with a huff, unsure of what to do. How would explain, or meditate through for that matter, the fact that he wasn’t sure how to handle the way they treated him? Over the years, he had become so used to having to apologize for himself for one thing or another, or listen as he was berated for how much he had screwed something up, that he didn’t know how to react when the response was along the lines of, “Okay, what you did was wrong and you shouldn’t have done it, but I hope you learned from your mistake and here’s what you should do” and then that was the end of it. Nothing was held over his head here.

Rodney’s breath hitched as part of a sob escaped his lips. He brought a fist to his lips and bit the side of a finger as he sank to the floor, unconsciously crossing his legs and bringing his other arm up to support the first. He sniffed and covered his eyes as he let out a shaky breath. He wasn’t supposed to cry, he wasn’t supposed to cry, he wasn’t supposed to –

A muted sob escaped his lips as tears escaped his clenched eyelids and he brushed them away, but another sob and more tears followed. He couldn’t keep up the pretense that he was okay with how they treated him. For so long, he’d been able to scrape by with a ‘barely good enough’ in every department except for his genius, that the slow work his friends on Atlantis had started of showing him he was worthy as a person and a friend rapidly gained fruition here. And while Rodney had been ready for a long time for his genius to be noticed and loved, he wasn’t ready for the same thing to happen to himself.

As he cried, Rodney’s mind supplied him with memories of all the good times he had had with his “family” on Atlantis, as well as the good times and good things that had been said to him here. While the tears flowed, it felt like he was being put back together without the rough edges and personal negativity that he had been holding onto for years. For once, he felt like it was actually possible to hope that people could like him for himself and not just what he did.

John sighed as they stepped through the ‘Gate and into Atlantis. Another planet willing to trade but who hadn’t seen or heard anything about Rodney. If there was anyway he could take back the past eighteen months and have Rodney with them again, he’d do it in a heartbeat. He silently followed the rest of his team to the locker room to change and stow their gear before their debriefing.

“One more thing,” Elizabeth said before she released them from the debriefing. “I’ve told this to Major Lorne and his team as well. I don’t want you showing Rodney’s picture around anymore.”

John’s head snapped up from looking at the plane he had been doodling. “What? Why not?”

Elizabeth sighed. “It’s been a year and a half, John. Don’t you think it’s time we accepted the fact that he’s gone and move on?”

“He’s not dead,” John replied sullenly.

“If he was alive, don’t you think he’d have come back by now?” Elizabeth countered. “We *are* talking about Rodney,” she continued when he opened his mouth again.

John shut his mouth and looked away for a long moment before catching her gaze again and saying shortly, “Fine. Are we dismissed?”

“You are,” she said and Ronon and Teyla stood. “But I want you to find a replacement for your team.”

“We don’t need a replacement,” John countered.

“John,” Elizabeth replied firmly, “practically all of your missions have needed a scientist, therefore you need another member on your team – a scientist.”

“Okay,” John sat back and crossed his arms. “Zelenka.”

“No,” Elizabeth replied firmly.

“Why not?” John shot back.

“We will be glad to assist in picking out a new teammate,” Teyla said diplomatically after shooting John a withering look. “Since Ronon and I will have to work with him or her as well.”

“Yeah, shouldn’t be a problem,” Ronon added.

“Okay.” Elizabeth sighed. “I expect to have a list of at least five prospective people on my desk as soon as possible.”

John gave her a mutinous look but said nothing as he stood and followed his teammates out of the conference room.

“Your behavior is bordering on madness, John,” Teyla hissed once they got into the hallway.

“Why?” he asked, his eyes narrowing. “Because I can’t believe that Rodney’s dead or willfully isn’t coming back?”

“Because you won’t,” she bit out. “I was fond of Rodney as well, but I know, as you should too by now, that his chances are quite slim by himself.”

“What do you think, big guy?” John asked Ronon.

Ronon shrugged noncommittally before saying, “I don’t know. I doubt he could’ve survived long on his own there, but I’ve seen scrappier Runners survive on less.”

“But Rodney’s not a Runner.”

Ronon smiled slightly. “But he is Rodney.”

“John,” Teyla said, lightly touching him on the arm, “if Rodney truly is out there and alive and well, one of these days we *will* find him. I believe an appropriate saying that your people use is ‘a watched pot never boils’. We will find him when and where we least expect him to. Until then, it will do us no harm in complying with Elizabeth’s requests.”

John looked between the two of them for a long moment before nodding curtly. “Okay. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” he said between clenched teeth, “I’m going for a run. *Alone*.” The last bit he said to Ronon.

John went back to his room and changed on autopilot before setting off at a fast run the moment he stepped out of his room. The city went by in a blur as he pushed himself past the point of thinking. When he did finally stop, he was at the North Pier and panting heavily. He leaned against the rail for a few minutes, allowing himself to catch his breath and get his heart-rate somewhere close to normal.

Forcefully hitting the railing with the palm of his hand, John growled and pushed himself away from the railing.

John knew for a fact that Rodney was *not* dead and there was a logical explanation why he hadn’t either come home or at least gotten word to them that he was okay. There *had* to be. Rodney had never been the best at social interactions, and had a tendency to get lost in his work, but he had started becoming better at letting others know if he wasn’t going to make something. And John knew that Rodney would do all he could to get home if he was stuck on another planet. He couldn’t believe that Rodney would allow himself to be stuck somewhere and not come home.

John took a swig from his water bottle and started running again, this time slower and more rhythmically, the sound of his feet pounding into the floor calming him.

His belief that Rodney was still alive – somewhere – had kept him going and kept him together these past eighteen months. Ever since taking command of Atlantis, and even before, John had taken the loss of his men personally. He had always been a firm believer in the idea of ‘leave no man behind’ and the knowledge that he had left Rodney behind and the gut feeling that he was still out there and alive was a burden that kept John going day after day.

Because if he lost Rodney…. John clamped down on the grief that had been growing inside of him throughout the day. He didn’t want to give in to the demon telling him that he was jinxed and it was his fault they had lost not only Rodney and Ford, but everyone else as well. That maybe he really was a magnetic force – pulling bad things to people around him, just like Nancy had insinuated when she left.

His run took him past the infirmary and he decided to duck in and check on Carson. Ever since the explosion a little over a year ago it took a lot less to tire Carson and he still believed he could put in the same long days without any repercussions. John had seen firsthand the truth behind the statement ‘doctors make the worst patients’.

Seeing Dr. Biro as he entered, John breathlessly asked, “Is Carson in?”

Alarmed at his appearance, she asked, “Is everything all right, Col Sheppard?”

“Fine,” he replied tightly. “Carson. Is he in?”

She nodded and pointed towards Carson’s office. “He’s in his office.”

“Thanks,” he replied, giving her a tight smile and heading to Carson’s office. Leaning against the doorframe, John said, “How’re you doing, Doc?”

Carson’s head shot up and he gasped. “You nearly gave me a heart attack, John. I didn’t hear you come in.” Looking him over critically, Carson asked, “Is everything all right?”

“Yeah, fine,” John replied, still breathing somewhat heavily. “Just got done a long run.”

“And a punishing one at that, from the sound of it.”

John took a few deep breaths as he nodded – guilty as charged. “Needed to clear my head. How’re you doing?” he repeated.

“I hope it worked. And I’m doing all right, so you can quit worrying. I’ve had an easy day today of updating patient charts and going over my notes on the Wraith retrovirus and the ATA gene therapy.”

“Good,” John replied, nodding again.

Gingerly standing, Carson took a moment to steady himself before walking around his desk and leaning back against it, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Been sitting too long, Doc?” John asked, wincing.

“Aye,” Carson admitted. “Knee’s a bit stiff. So, why are you really here, John?”

John shrugged somewhat helplessly. “I was passing by and wanted to see how you were doing and if you wanted to go get something to eat.”

“Not in that state you’re not,” Carson gently chided, gesturing to John’s sweaty clothing. “And as I’ve often told you, I’m not Rodney – I actually have enough common sense to not need reminding to eat.” At John’s stricken look, Carson said, “Och, I didn’t mean it like that and you know it. Why don’t you get cleaned up and come back when you’re done? I should be finished by then. And,” he looked at his watch, “by then it’ll be properly dinnertime.”

“Okay,” John replied quietly, visibly pulling himself together and nodding slowly, but he didn’t move. “That sounds good, Doc.”

“Now, off with you before I have the staff chase you out,” Carson said dismissively as he stood and went back behind his desk, sitting heavily in his chair.

John gave Carson one last glance before leaving and jogging back to his quarters. He stretched his tired muscles before stripping and jumping into a hot shower, letting the hot water and pulsing stream take care of the rest of his aching muscles. Once he was done, he made quick work of toweling himself dry and putting a clean pair of clothes and his boots. He put his radio in his ear and hesitated for a second before strapping on his sidearm.

He headed back to the infirmary and arrived as Carson finished neatly stacking his folders and papers and stood. John inwardly winced as Carson stood and hesitated for a moment before grabbing his cane from where it rested cradled in the corner made by his desk and a filing cabinet.

“Ready?” he asked as Carson turned and headed towards him.

“Aye,” Carson replied as he stepped through the office door before John, idly flexing his left hand.

“Is your hand giving you trouble again too?” John asked quietly as he followed him, not wanting to alert any of the other staff.

“A little,” Carson admitted. “I think it’s because of the rain,” he added with a sly smile.

John let out a small chuckle at the thought. “We live on a damn ocean, Doc.”

“So we do,” Carson added, a smile crinkling his eyes and the corners of his mouth.

John let the subject drop and followed Carson to the mess hall. He filled a tray with food for both of them and led Carson to a table. Carson sank down into the chair with a small sigh of relief as John divvied up the food.

“Why don’t you do more physical therapy?” John asked, sitting down.

“Because it won’t help any,” Carson sighed, opening his water bottle with some slight difficulty. “Both Dr. Biro and I agree that my knee is as good as it’s going to get and that I should be thankful I have use of it at all. And I know what I can and can’t and should and shouldn’t do to it – even if I don’t listen. Things still need to be done.”

“Just take it easy, okay? I… I worry about you.”

“I know you do, John. And I appreciate it. But it’s been over a year and a quarter since the explosion.”

“I know,” John replied evenly, his food now forgotten.

“Which means that I’m okay,” Carson replied, holding John’s gaze.

“I know, damn it,” John replied just as levelly, before replying in a whisper, “But I can’t lose you too.”

“You’re not going to,” Carson told him. “And you have to let go of what happened with Rodney.”

“I *can’t*,” John replied, a note of anguish coloring his voice. Ever since “the tumor incident”, Carson had been the only one who seemed to be able to get through to John.

“Can’t or won’t?” Carson pushed, his own meal now forgotten. “Have you talked to Kate at all?”

“No,” John said shortly. “Talking to her isn’t going to bring him back.”

“And neither is hovering over me.” Carson sighed as he wiped a hand over his face. “I understand what you’re doing, John. But you need to move on. Rodney isn’t coming back.”

“I can’t accept that,” John said as he brusquely stood. “So help me, Carson, I can’t accept that.”

Carson watched as his broken friend practically fled the mess hall, the anguish in John’s voice ringing in his ears. He sighed and turned back to his meal.

As John fled, he knew he was becoming seriously unglued. The problem was he didn’t know how to stop it.

Rodney, with all of his bluster, had managed to push his way past all of John’s defenses in ways that no one else had been able to, even Nancy. And John had to give her a lot of credit for trying. But Rodney was completely different category. His arrogance and ego had annoyed the hell out of John at first, but after a while other sides of Rodney came to the fore. They tempered Rodney’s more caustic characteristics and wormed Rodney under John’s skin until he thought of Rodney as a part of himself.

And that had scared him to death at first. John had been alone for so long that the idea of actually needing someone on a basic level had terrified him. When he realized that he also thought of Rodney in a romantic sense, he had come very close to a meltdown. Being gay had never figured into his plans and he had figured that he was too old to have a sexual identity crisis. He had been wrong on both counts.

He had tried to discreetly and ambiguously ask Kate about it, but she had seen through him right away and had given him a very frank lecture on the subject. When she had finished, John had felt a little dizzy from all the information she had given him, but at the same time much calmer about what was going on inside of himself.

Then the situation with the Minotaur had taken place. That was the turning point in which John knew for certain that he needed not just Dr. Rodney McKay, Ph.D., in his life, but also the man behind the ego, in his life. But it wasn’t until Rodney had dragged the truth out of him, that John had been able to admit his feelings for the other man.

And then they only had a very short amount of time together before they lost Rodney on MPX-993. The double blow of leaving a man behind and leaving *Rodney* behind had hit John like 20 Gs.

They had searched around the ‘Gate for miles with no luck. The only difference in the landscape was the ‘Gate; it had a weird, three-sided abutment to it that must’ve been of some use to someone at some point, but obviously had no use now. And that was on the good days. The rest of the time, they were met with sandstorms so violent they had zero visibility and John had a good idea of how a sandblaster worked.

After a while, Elizabeth had scaled back their attempts to find Rodney – stating firmly that since he wasn’t on the planet, he surely must have found some way off it. All the Stargate teams would be allowed to ask when they went off-world and to show Rodney’s picture around – but that was it. And after some time with no results, the teams had started giving up of their own accord. Only John’s and Lorne’s teams continued the search. And starting with their next mission, they were officially finished with that small task as well.

Punching a wall, John relished the pain. It gave him something to focus on – even if for a few brief seconds – other than the pain that was roiling inside of him. Logically, he knew he shouldn’t still be feeling this way for something that had happened so briefly over a year and a half ago, but as many times as he tried telling that to his heart, it didn’t seem to get the message.

When he finally went back to his quarters out of pure exhaustion, he fell asleep to dreams of ghostly touches and whispered love.

The next morning at breakfast, Teyla calmly stated, “Elizabeth has informed me that we are on stand-down until we find someone to join our team.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” John replied hotly as Ronon simply shrugged and continued eating his oatmeal.

“The most I could get her to agree to was to allow us to take some candidates off-world with us to see how they fared, but she told me it would only be after she approved our list of candidates.”

“Makes sense,” Ronon said between bites. At John’s black look, he added with a half-shrug, “She’s holding over our heads the one thing we all want and like doing. It’s a good tactic.”

“Fine,” John said tightly, his hands gripping his silverware so his knuckles were white. “How do you two propose we do this?”

“I believe we should start by asking Dr. Zelenka who he believes would make good candidates,” Teyla stated. “And then we can assess each of them and find the person who would best fit our team.”

“But they have to know how to fight,” Ronon said. “I’m not training anyone again, and neither of you should have to either.”

“So, only original expedition members?” John asked with a slight quirk of an eyebrow, his hands relaxing slightly.

Ronon shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “However you want to decide is fine with me. I just want them to have at least some basic hand-to-hand and weapons training.”

“Define weapons.”

Ronon laughed and nodded before saying, “You know what I mean.”

“We can do this, John,” Teyla said, lightly touching his arm. “You know Rodney would want us to have someone else on the team with all of the technology that we encounter. How did he put it?” She paused to remember.

“Because without him, we’d stomp into a trap like a herd of elephants and have no idea of what hit us,” John supplied. “Though, I think he was talking about me and Ronon more than you.” He smiled slightly and the tension in his body eased minutely.

Finishing her juice, Teyla said, “I will speak with Dr. Zelenka this morning. Hopefully, he will be able to give me a list this afternoon and we will be able to begin immediately.”

“Okay,” John replied and Ronon nodded.

Teyla gently squeezed John’s arm before withdrawing her hand. “It will be okay, John. Rodney will be returned to us when he’s meant to be returned.”

“You really think that?” John asked, disbelievingly. She nodded as he asked, “Have your people ever disappeared and then returned?”

“Sometimes. We believe that in those instances, they were meant to take a journey to reveal something to themselves. I believe Dr. Archer called it a ‘vision quest’ when we spoke of it.” Lorne casually approached them and Teyla stood. “I will speak with you both later. Hopefully we will be able to resolve this quickly.”

John nodded as he and Ronon also stood. “What can I do for you, Major?” he asked, acknowledging Lorne.

“Just need you to sign off on some requisition forms and such, sir,” Lore replied nonchalantly, tapping the datapad resting in the cradle of his opposite arm as they headed to John’s office. “The Daedalus is due to arrive soon and the city won’t run herself.”

John said nothing, but inwardly agreed, wishing he didn’t have to deal with this part of his job. He hated the bureaucracy of it, even if he knew it was a necessary evil. He was, first and foremost, a pilot and wished he could leave it at that.

Lorne seated himself in one of the chairs across from John’s desk as John sat and opened the file on the datapad. John worked quietly, glancing over the paperwork that outlined what he and Lorne had already discussed and agreed upon before signing each of the necessary documents.

When he was finished, he saved the files on the datapad, replaced the stylus, and slid it across his desk to Lorne before folding his hands on top of his desk. “Anything else I can help you with, Major?” he asked.

“I miss Dr. McKay too, sir,” Lorne replied. “For all his abrasiveness, he was amazing at what he did and it looked like he was doing you some good too, not just this city.”

“Thank you, Major,” John choked out. “Dismissed.”

Lorne picked up the datapad and nodded, dispensing with the normal salute and left. John gripped his hands together for a long moment before forcing himself to let go.

He turned his attention to the upcoming two weeks’ duty rosters and training schedules. While he was at it, he also approved all of the mission requests that Elizabeth had sent him with only a cursory glance to see where they were going and for what. The detail she went into to explain where they were going and why had once amused him and he and Rodney would make a game of seeing how colorful she got in describing “I’d like to send a team back to another sand/ice/water planet because we picked up a weird energy reading the first time we were there.” Now he just didn’t care – the details reminded him too much of Rodney.

At some point in the middle of it, John’s radio clicked. Touching it, he replied, “Go ahead.”

“Have you had lunch yet, Colonel?” Carson’s accented voice asked over the link.

“Not yet,” John replied, his stomach growling at the mention of food. Looking at his watch, he realized that it was now the middle of the afternoon.

“Would you like to grab a bite with me?”

“Sure.” He saved what he was doing on his computer. “Meet me in the mess in five minutes?”

“No problem,” Carson replied lightly. “I’m leaving now.”

John nodded to himself. “So am I.”

Neither man talked as they ate and John was glad for that. The past twenty-seven hours had been hard enough and he was glad to have someone with whom he didn’t have to pretend or justify himself.

“I heard Elizabeth wants you to add another member to your team,” Carson said as John walked him back to the infirmary.

“Yeah,” John replied. “Teyla’s taken charge of talking to Zelenka about possible candidates.”

Carson nodded. “He would know the best people for your team.” When they reached the door to Carson’s lab, Carson said, “I miss him too, John. There are days when I still expect him to pop up have it be nothing more than a bad dream.” He sighed. “But I’m starting to think that maybe Elizabeth is right – that it’s time we move forward. You know Rodney wouldn’t want you moping around like this.”

“I know,” John admitted quietly, staring at the floor. “But with him gone, it feels like I’m missing something essential.”

Carson smiled fondly. “I know what you mean. Rodney’s got all the grace of a bull in a china shop and yet he somehow creeps inside of you and makes you like him.” At John’s startled look, Carson admitted, “Oh, aye, I agree with you that I really doubt he’s dead. But, for whatever reason, it’s not his time to come home yet.”

“How do you –?” John started, but the question died on his lips.

Carson chuckled as he clapped John on the shoulder. “Let’s just say it’s a wee bit of the Highland magic and leave it at that.” He moved past John and went into his lab. “Now, off with you. I’m sure Teyla’s looking for you.”

John nodded, still looking a little dazed before seeming to shake himself out of it and taking his leave with an “I’ll see you later, Carson.”

Carson watched him go with a shake of his head. He was fond of the other man and he hated seeing how he was beating himself up over what had happened to Rodney.

Leaving the infirmary, John tapped his radio. “Teyla, come in.”

“Yes, John?” her voice asked over the link.

“Was Zelenka able to give you a list of names?” he asked, a knot twisting in his stomach.

“He was,” she replied simply. “I was just about to call Ronon and you to see if you both would like to join me in the mess hall to begin going over the list.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” he replied. “What’s your e.t.a.?”

“About five minutes. I’m in my quarters.”

“Okay, I’ll meet you there. I’m coming from the infirmary.”

“Duly noted. I will see you in five minutes.”

John picked up an apple and a water bottle when he entered the mess hall and headed over to where Teyla and Ronon were sitting. “So…” he said, sitting down. “Who do we have?”

“It’s a relatively short list,” Teyla stated, turning the datapad for John to see. “Dr. Zelenka gave me ten names, saying that they were the only ones who would be even remotely close to filling Rodney’s shoes.”

“In terms of smarts, experience, field of expertise, what?” John asked, hunching over and perusing the names on the list and tapping on one name to bring up her file.

“Dr. Zelenka said it was in terms of both intelligence and their experiences here in Atlantis. They all also have the ATA gene and a practical knowledge of Ancient technology, how it works and how to fix it.”

“Zelenka told you to say that, didn’t he?” John asked.

“He did,” Teyla replied with a smile and a slight bow of her head.

“I guess we should talk to all of them, then,” John said, sitting back in his chair and interlacing his fingers behind his head. “What do you think, Ronon?”

“I think we should also test their fighting skills,” he commented. “I’ll take care of that.”

“You can do the hand-to-hand,” John commandeered. “I’ll take care of the marksmanship test.”

“Fine,” Ronon replied gruffly.

“I think we should all sit in on the interviews,” Teyla added. “They will be on our team, so I think that we should make the decision as a team.”

John could tell that Teyla was forcing him into that corner to make sure he actually talked to all of them and simply didn’t dismiss them out of hand. “All right,” he said shortly. “Teyla, get in touch with Albertson and see how soon she can meet with us.”

“I have already taken the liberty of setting up interviews with each of them,” Teyla replied. “They all seemed quite excited at the prospect of joining the team.”

“Thank you, Miss Moneypenny,” John replied with a sigh as he hid his face in his hands.

“I do not see what the secretary from that Bond film you made us watch has to do with this,” Teyla replied with a hint of disdain.

“I think it was supposed to be a compliment,” Ronon replied with a grin.

“Don’t mind me,” John said as he crossed his arms on the table and put his head on top of them. “I’m just slowly going mad. This is not happening.”

“You must pull yourself together, John,” Teyla said. “Sometimes these things are meant to test those left behind as well.” She sighed. “I must be going. I promised Dr. Archer I would discuss some more of my people’s mythology with her. Our first meeting is right after dinner in the conference room below Elizabeth’s office.”

John groaned. “The universe really is out to get me,” he groaned into his arms as Teyla left. Sitting up and sighing, he looked at Ronon for a long moment, who patiently stared back, arms crossed over his chest. “So what’s your take on all of this?” John finally asked, propping his head up on a hand and looking at Ronon out of the corner of his eye.

Ronon shrugged. “I think it’s good that you’re mourning Rodney, but I think you’re going about it the wrong way. On Sateda, we honor our fallen comrades with our words and our deeds.”

“He wasn’t killed in battle,” John ground out. “He was lost in a fucking sandstorm.”

“What’s your mission, Sheppard?”

“What’s my –?” John’s eyes narrowed. “We’re here to meet with other cultures and gain knowledge and access to technologies and information that would help us fight against enemies that would threaten Earth.”

“And?”

“And by that logic, Rodney went MIA in the line of duty.”

“Think about that,” Ronon said as he stood and clapped John on the shoulder.

John groaned and put his head back down on his arms as Ronon walked away. He hated his friends and their logic. He just wanted Rodney back safe and sound.

“Okay, so time for number eight,” John said, sitting down next to Teyla.

“Number ten,” Teyla reminded him.

“But I thought Curtis was number seven,” John said, confused.

“Nine,” Ronon agreed.

“And we’ve been at it for how long?” John sighed, wiping his eyes.

“Five days,” Ronon answered.

“Okay, last one. Let’s get this over with. Who’s next?”

“Johan Darby,” Teyla replied.

“What kind of name is that?”

Both Teyla and Ronon shrugged as Darby came in and sat across from the three of them. “My father’s English and my mother was Swiss,” he replied easily.

“Welcome, Johan,” Teyla replied easily and gave him a warm smile. “Dr. Zelenka has spoken quite highly of you.”

“Thank you,” he replied with a grin. “Both he and Dr. McKay have been amazing to work with.”

John glared at him, but Darby didn’t flinch under his gaze and actually seemed to be completely sincere unlike at least half of the previous interviewees. “What exactly do you do, Darby?” he asked calmly.

“I have a dual degree in biogeochemistry and engineering,” Darby replied. “I’ve been heading a team that’s been studying the Wraith technology that’s been brought in.”

“It says here that you are an original member of the expedition,” Teyla commented, glancing down at the datapad in front of her.

“Yes, ma’am,” Darby replied. “When I heard the SGC was looking for scientists to come, I volunteered.”

“For a one-way trip to another galaxy?” John interrupted.

“Honestly, Col. Sheppard,” Darby grinned, “there aren’t many options for a science geek in Podunk, Mississippi, and as cool as it was working at Area 51 on some of the Goa’uld technology, it’s not every day that you actually get to go to another galaxy and see alien technology being used as it was intended and by the people who created it.”

John couldn’t help but smile inside at Darby’s enthusiasm. It reminded him a lot of Rodney when they first arrived in Atlantis. And the fact that he still seemed to feel that way probably meant he had a lot of flexibility and resiliency – both great things if he was going to be on a ‘Gate team. John let the rest of Teyla’s questions and Darby’s answers wash over him as he half-listened.

Ronon’s only question was if Darby knew how to fight.

“Of course,” he replied. “I have three older brothers and two younger sisters. Between my brothers’ roughhousing and protecting my sisters, I quickly learned how to handle myself in a fight. And I also know how to handle a gun. Where I grew up, you knew your way around a gun by the time you were five, whether you wanted to or not.”

“Go ahead, Sheppard,” Ronon told him.

“Okay.” John leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table and interlacing his fingers. “What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

“African or European?” Darby asked with a straight face. “Because I could give you either answer.”

“Seriously?” John asked in surprise and Darby nodded. “That won’t be necessary,” he replied, forcing himself to become serious again. “Who’s your favorite superhero?”

“Storm from the X-Men.”

John raised an eyebrow. “Interesting choice. Most guys wouldn’t admit to that.”

Darby shrugged. “I think it’s interesting how she can control the weather. Plus, most of the stand-alones are overrated. Though, I do think Batman should get credit for not actually having any superpowers and for allowing revenge to be the basis for his whole mission. Not many people want to admit that society as a whole is idolizing him for that.”

John nodded. “So, when can we schedule you for a hand-to-hand test with Ronon and some time in the shooting range with me?”

Darby shrugged again. “My schedule’s pretty flexible right now, so whenever is convenient for you and Ronon.”

“How about this afternoon?” John looked at his watch. “Let’s say we meet in the gym in half an hour. That work for you, Ronon?” he asked, looking over at his teammate.

“Fine,” Ronon replied.

“Okay,” John said, looking back at Darby. “We’ll see you in the gym in half an hour.”

“Thank you for allowing us to interview you,” Teyla said as Darby stood.

“My pleasure, ma’am,” he replied. “Thank you all for interviewing me.”

After he left, Teyla confessed, “I think he is the first one whom I do not mind calling me ‘ma’am’. There is a certain sincerity in him that I find refreshing.”

“I like him,” Ronon commented.

“I do too,” John added. “If the fighting and marksmanship go well, I think we should keep him.”

“We should still at least consider the others we’ve interviewed,” Teyla gently chided. “Just in case one of them is a better fit than Dr. Darby. Besides, I’ve been informed by Elizabeth that it’s good manners to do so, especially since we’ve already taken the time to do the interviews.”

“Fine,” John huffed. “We’ll consider everyone.” He hated that Elizabeth was forcing them to do this. He hated that everyone else was so ready and willing to move on and he couldn’t. Quickly pushing his chair back and standing, he said, “I’ll see you later, Teyla, unless you decide to sit in on the fight and the marksmanship test. I’ll see you in half an hour, Ronon.”

John considered going for a run, but nixed the idea, knowing that if he started now with the mood he was in, he wouldn’t be done in time. He thought of seeing if anyone was in the gym and up to some friendly sparring, but knew that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate enough to put up a good fight. John sighed. He wanted Rodney to be here so badly. He needed Rodney to be sarcastic with, to argue with, to just be with.

Teyla caught up with John. “Are you all right, John?” she asked. “You’ve seemed rather depressed lately.” She paused for a moment. “Or, at least, more so than what’s become normal for you.”

“I’ll be fine, Teyla,” he replied in his most optimistic tone. “I’m just ready for the interviews to be over.”

“They will be soon, John,” she replied. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk with Kate about this?”

“I’m sure. Look, I need to get ready for Darby’s other tests. I’ll see you later.”

John jogged down to the shooting range and set up the items they’d need for his portion of the tests. When he got to the gym, Ronon and Darby were already there, warming up. Well, Darby was warming up and Ronon was waiting.

“Hey,” John said, leaning back against the wall next to Ronon.

“Hey,” Ronon replied. “Tell me again why your people like doing this before a practice fight.” He pointed with his chin to Darby, who was straightening up from stretching.

John shrugged. “They think it’ll help things not hurt so much when they’re done.”

“I’m ready,” Darby said. “Hi, Col. Sheppard.”

“Darby,” John acknowledged. “Don’t let me hold you up,” he said to Ronon.

John watched as Ronon pushed himself off the wall and stalked onto the mat. Darby watched him carefully, his posture relaxed but still holding a small amount of tension in order to be ready. John gave him credit for that. Eight of the other candidates had had no idea what to do and two had actually squeaked when Ronon had gotten within range.

Ronon threw the first punch and Darby blocked it while countering with a punch of his own. John watched critically as they fought and noted that Darby was definitely the best they’d seen. He did have a few gaps in his knowledge and Ronon was taking it easy on him, but John could tell they wouldn’t have to worry about Darby in the field.

When Ronon called it quits after a few minutes, he and John met by the door while Darby took a drink of water.

“Well?” Ronon asked quietly.

“I think he looks good,” John replied. “A little rough around the edges, but….” He shrugged. “What do you think?”

“Needs some more training, but I think he’s good.”

John nodded and said louder, “Come on, Darby. It’s time for target practice.”

Darby nodded and took another swig from his water bottle. “Lead on.”

The three men went down to the shooting range, where two paper targets had been set up and a P90 and a Beretta were laying on a table a few yards away. Ronon leaned against a back wall as both John and Darby put on earmuffs and glasses. John picked up the P90 and double-checked the magazine and took off the safety.

Handing it to Darby, he said, “This is called a P90 and it’s our standard personal defense weapon – or PDW – for our off-world teams.”

“I’m aware of what it is, Col. Sheppard,” Darby replied, amused. “It helps knowing what your own weapons are when dealing with alien technology. Which target do you want me to shoot?”

John shrugged. “You pick.”

Darby hefted the gun so its recoil would be absorbed by his body before squeezing off a short burst of bullets. John checked the target after Darby had finished and found the holes neatly centered on the target’s torso.

“Not bad,” John said, taking the P90 and handing Darby the Beretta.

Darby took off the safety and checked the clip himself before stabilizing his right hand with his left and squeezed off a few shots at the other target. As he set the gun down, John checked the target and found holes in the major fatality spots.

“I’m impressed,” he told Darby as they took off their protective gear.

“Thank you, Col. Sheppard,” Darby replied, blushing slightly.

“Give us some time to discuss things and we’ll get back to you.”

Darby nodded. “Thanks again,” he said before leaving.

“How did it go?” Teyla asked.

“I think he’s a keeper,” John said. “He looks like he’s a good fighter and he knows not only how to fire a gun, but where to hit.”

“Yeah, he’s good,” Ronon agreed.

“I believe so as well,” Teyla said. “I will tell Elizabeth we’ve made our decision and John, you can tell Darby.”

Being pounced on is not an ideal way to wake up, Rodney decided, as he groaned and rolled over onto his back. “Ugh. What’s going on?” he croaked, not opening his eyes.

“Ten month! Ten month! Rodney-san!” a small voice said loudly right in his ear.

“Go ’way, Kyle,” Rodney replied sleepily as he ineffectually batted at the small child lying on his chest. “It’s not time for Rodney-san to wake up yet.”

“Come, Kyle-chan,” Jillian said and Rodney felt Kyle’s weight disappear with a huge sigh. “You can keep sleeping, if you’d like, Rodney,” she told him.

Rodney heard her move away and talk quietly with Kyle and he rolled back onto his side and burrowed under the covers. He could understand Kyle’s, and the other kids’, exuberance – if today started a month of Christmases, he’d want to get started with it as soon as possible too. But at this moment, he just wanted to sleep.

When Rodney did get up some time later, Kyle and Jillian were gone and Kirby was meditating. Rodney got up quietly and did his morning ablutions without disturbing Kirby. As he knelt by the fire to dish out some of the oatmeal, Kirby breathed deeply and opened his eyes.

“Good morning, Rodney-kun,” he said with a smile.

“Good morning, Kirby,” Rodney replied as he sat back on his ass. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did. Did you?”

Rodney nodded as he swallowed. “Well, aside from Kyle jumping on me.” At the flash of worry that crossed Kirby’s face, Rodney quickly added with a dismissive wave of his hand, “But it’s fine. He’s just excited about the festival.”

“Speaking of,” Kirby stood and picked up a bundle from the end of his bed, “these are for you.” He crossed the room and handed them to Rodney, who had put down his bowl.

Rodney carefully undid the ribbon holding the soft package together. He carefully unfolded the cloth to reveal a pair of soft mid-calf boots that laced up the whole way. Carefully stroking one, he looked up at Kirby. “Wow. Thank you.”

Kirby nodded. “You’re going to need them this month since we’re going to be walking out on sand a lot. And the robe will come in handy outside as well.”

Rodney realized that the robe was what the boots had been wrapped in and he put them on the floor so he could look at the robe properly. The linear accents on the hems of the sleeves and at the neck gave the robe a tiny bit of flair, yet kept it understated. “These are amazing,” he said. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Kirby replied with a nod.

“How much do I owe you?” Rodney asked, still fingering the boots.

“They’re a gift,” Kirby replied. “Think of them as an early birth cycle present for this cycle and a very late one since you didn’t get anything last cycle.”

“Wow. Thank you.”

Rodney was shocked. He hadn’t received a birthday present in a long time. Even though John, Elizabeth, and Carson had asked him about it, he had shrugged it off, saying – truthfully – that he was uncomfortable with the whole thing. Prior to Atlantis, he hadn’t received anything while in Siberia or Area 51 – though he was sure that if he had received something then, he would have had cause to worry about personal harm. And with his family…. Rodney didn’t know the last time he had received a gift from his family. Jeanie had been different – they had exchanged gifts up until he had left for grad school.

Rodney was surprised to find that thinking of his family didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would. Aside from when he mentioned them to Kirby, Rodney still refrained from talking and thinking about them as much as possible, but it appeared that the meditation and telling Kirby things had helped a great deal. Though, now that he thought of her, he knew Jeannie was going to kill him for disappearing again – if he ever got home.

“Come on,” Kirby said, breaking Rodney out of his reverie. “Finish your breakfast, put those on, and meet us outside.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied, putting his gifts aside and picking up his bowl as Kirby stood and left.

As Rodney passed through the commons area while cleaning up, he noticed that it was quiet and empty. It felt odd how still the air was – not even the underlying sweep of sand being blown against silk was present. And the fact that no one was around and that even the sound of voices was gone was odd. But overall, Rodney found that he didn’t mind the silence the way he used to. He was still far from being completely comfortable with it, but he definitely felt more at ease with it.

After donning his new boots – the softness of which surprised him – and pulling his robe on over his clothes, Rodney slipped through the slit in the common area’s wall that had been left untied. Rodney took a deep breath of the thinner, fresher air as he let his eyes adjust to the sunlight.

The moment of adjustment didn’t last long as other things started pushing in for Rodney’s attention. The sound of a multitude of people talking mingled with the sounds of farm animals, the clatter of pots, and a multitude of lesser camp sounds. Then the stench of the animals, mixed with wood burning and food cooking hit Rodney’s nose and he sneezed.

Looking around, Rodney saw brightly colored tents stretched out before him. He took a deep breath and centered himself, getting ready to deal with more people than he had in far too long. Letting the breath out slowly, Rodney began trudging across the sand, surprised at how well the boots helped him move over the sand.

Rodney carefully entered one of the larger corridors between tents, hoping he wasn’t breeching any customs. The people that were out and about didn’t seem to mind, however, and called good morning to Rodney in Lapran. Some had strong accents, suggesting different native languages. Rodney wandered around aimlessly for a while, not sure where he should be going or what he should be doing.

Turning a corner, Rodney saw Kelly ahead of him, talking with a small cluster of people. “Oh, thank God,” he breathed, happy to finally see someone he knew. He was beginning to wonder if the Laprans had been swallowed up by these new people. As he got closer, one of the other men said something to Kelly and looked at Rodney.

Kelly turned and smiled at Rodney. “Good morning, Rodney-chan,” he said with a shallow bow.

Glancing at the other men, Rodney could see them appraising him and could tell when they noticed the cuff on his ear by the slight turn of their heads and some quiet muttering. Rodney mirrored Kelly’s bow and greeted him with a, “Good morning, Kelly-chan.” Turning to the other men, he bowed slightly and said, “Good morning, gentlemen.”

They murmured a good morning in response before the one who had originally alerted Kelly to Rodney’s presence said, “We shall see you later, Kelly-san, maybe this afternoon. It was good to see you again. Nice meeting you,” he said to Rodney. With a slight inclination of their heads, the three men went inside their tent.

“Did I do something wrong?” Rodney asked looking at Kelly, worried he had offended them.

“No,” Kelly said, turning so he was facing Rodney fully. “We were finishing up anyway when you came up. They’re fellow yak-herders, but still relatively new at it, so I was giving them a bit of advice.”

Looking around, Rodney said, “This is – wow. This is amazing.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Kelly asked with an appreciative glance.

“So…” Rodney said, not quite sure how to begin. “What’s going on?”

“Things are just getting started,” Kelly replied as they started walking. “The groups have been arriving since the sandstorm stopped last night. Today will be a day of rest so they can get set up and settle in. We’re all out here to greet them and offer any necessary assistance. Tomorrow will be the real start of things.”

Rodney continued looked around at the village that had literally sprung up overnight. “This really is amazing. And you know everyone?”

Kelly laughed. “Not *everyone*. But I do know a fair amount of them and I know how to identify where they’re from.”

Rodney nodded. That was normal enough. “And your old bound friend – have you seen him?”

“That’s where we’re headed now – to see if he’s part of the group this year or what news I can get if he’s not.”

“And how do I introduce myself? In general, I mean.”

“I’ll make the introductions, since that’s the expectation on their part. You’ll be accepted easily enough, though, when they hear we’re bound friends, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No, not really,” Rodney admitted. “I would just rather not start a war because I accidentally did or said something wrong.”

“I doubt you’ll be able to do that,” Kelly replied with a mischievous smile. “Maybe when you’d first arrived with that prickly tongue of yours, but you’ve come a long way since then.”

“You have no idea,” Rodney muttered as they stopped.

“Here we are,” Kelly said, gesturing to one of the tents. “Come on, I’d like you to meet them, regardless if Kevin’s there.” They approached the tent and Kelly called through the flaps, “Good day to the people of Morykos.”

“Good day to a son of Lapras,” a feminine voice called from inside. “Please come in.”

Rodney followed Kelly inside. Looking around, he felt like he had stepped into the Sultan of Persia’s tent. Rich carpets lined the floors, tapestries hung on the walls, oil lamps hung throughout giving off scent and light, and a large pile of various sized pillows had been artfully thrown in one corner.

A handsome woman in her mid-fifties came out of an inner room carrying a basket. “Kelly!” she exclaimed in delight. “I thought I recognized your voice.” She set down the basket and came over to them. She placed both hands on his cheeks and he mirrored her actions and they closed their eyes for a second, breathing deeply. Rodney couldn’t help but think how similar it was to Teyla’s forehead touching.

When they let go and stepped back, Kelly said, “I’d like to introduce my bound friend, Rodney of Atlantis. Rodney, this is Natalia of Morykos.”

“It’s very good to meet you, Rodney of Atlantis,” she said with a smile. She touched one of his cheeks with a hand and after a quick glance to Kelly, who gave him a quick nod, Rodney did the same to her. “I’m glad you found someone, Kelly-kun,” she said after she had dropped her hand. “I know both you and Kevin were very close before he came to us.”

“How’s he doing?” Kelly asked as Natalia picked up her basket and led them to the pillows.

He’s doing very well, as is his wife,” she replied as they sat down, Rodney following Kelly’s lead and tucking his legs underneath himself. “They have three children now, two boys and a girl – the newest was just born. And he’s doing well in his new trade.”

“That certainly is good news,” Kelly replied with a grin. “I doubt he’ll be here, then.”

“He actually may be coming,” she replied. “I believe the elders wanted to bring the apprentices for a day or two so they could see the market. It hasn’t been set in stone yet, but I’m sure it would be possible for you to see him.” Taking up a shirt she was mending, Natalia changed the subject and said, “Now, Rodney, how long have you been on Lapras?”

“The, um, the end of the festival will mark my second full cycle here,” he replied, suddenly nervous.

“And how do you like it?”

“I like it a lot,” he found himself truthfully admitting. “The Laprans are very good people and they’ve been generous to me.”

She narrowed her eyes slightly. “And why haven’t you helped Kelly find a wife?”

Rodney looked at Kelly, stricken, unsure if he was failing in one of his major duties.

Kelly laughed and said, “Because I’m not looking for a wife, Natalia. If I was, I’m sure Rodney-chan would have found me one.”

She nodded sharply and said, “I’ll let that pass for now, Kelly-kun. What trade are you plying, Rodney?”

“I’m apprenticing with the silk guild,” he replied, glad that a crisis had been adverted.

“Good,” she replied. “And do you have anyone special?”

“No.” Rodney found himself blushing. “No, I don’t.”

“I doubt that’ll last too long for either of you – you’re both far too cute to stay single forever.”

Standing gracefully, Kelly said, “We should be going, Natalia. We’ll come see you and the others another day, okay?”

She nodded as both she and Rodney stood. “That sounds excellent, Kelly.”

Kelly took Rodney on a few more social calls before heading back to their village late that afternoon. “What'd you think?” he asked expectantly.

“I think it's amazing,” Rodney replied as he took off his robe and ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up. “And you said things haven't even started yet.”

Kelly smiled. “I think you're really going to enjoy this month. Sometimes I wonder how you haven't gone crazy with just us to entertain you and keep you company.” He seemed almost wistful as he said, “You were meant for much more than living your life with us.”

“There are people where I'm from who believe that everything happens for a reason, even if we can't comprehend it at the time,” Rodney replied as he followed Kelly to his quarters.

Ducking inside and pulling off his own robe, Kelly replied, “I have a hard time believing that you would be one of those people.”

Rodney laughed as he ran another hand through his hair, somewhat achieving the desired result before clasping his hands behind his back. “You'd be correct. I like knowing what the reason is beforehand and knowing what the possible outcomes are before I start.”

“Which is why you became what your people call a scientist.” Kelly sat on his cot and took off his boots, replacing them with his moccasins.

Rodney shrugged. “Not completely. I'm curious too – I like knowing how things work. And when I found I had the aptitude and the genius for it, I took to it like a duck to water.” Kelly gave him an odd glance at the reference, but didn't ask for clarification. “So, what are we going to do this evening?” Rodney continued.

“I was finally able to find a piece of wood for you to make into your staff. We could start on that, if you'd like.”

“That sounds great,” Rodney grinned. “Let me go put my robe away and I'll meet you out in the commons?”

“Sounds good,” Kelly nodded and Rodney left.

Kirby was in their quarters when Rodney entered. He looked up from where he was sorting out some herbs and smiled. “How has your day been?” he asked.

“Good,” Rodney replied as he folded his robe and put it on the end of his cot. He sat down and took off his boots, placing them on the floor at the end of his cot, and slipping on his moccasins. “I'm amazed at how quickly everything got set up out there. When you guys said that the other groups you trade with were coming, I was thinking maybe a couple tents and a few dozen people – not a whole other village.”

Kirby laughed. “It is rather amazing the first time one sees it. I take it Kelly was taking you around and making introductions?”

“A few.” Rodney stood. “I better get going – Kelly's waiting for me.”

Kirby nodded. “If you happen to see Jillian, tell her the Morykons want to see her.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied before ducking out.

Kelly was working on his own staff as he sat next to the communal fire and Rodney sat down next to him. Kelly stopped what he was doing and handed over a rough rod of wood that had been laying between them. It was roughly the same length and girth as Kelly's, though a bit bigger, and there were still knots and rough spots dotting its length. “This is yours,” he said. “It's tradition that when someone becomes proficient with a staff, they make their own.” Handing over a bag, he continued, “You'll find everything in here that you'll need to get it into shape.”

“Okay,” Rodney said dubiously as he took the bag and opened it. He carefully up-ended it into his lap and set the empty bag aside. Looking through the items as he set them out in front of himself, Rodney guessed they were standard wood-working tools, though a couple he had no idea how to use. He figured he might as well start with what looked like sandpaper – the fewer splinters he got, the better. He briskly rubbed the sandpaper over the wood, feeling the minute bumps and ridges smooth out beneath his hands. When he finished that, he looked at the rest of the tools in confusion. “Um... a little help, please?” he asked.

“Sure,” Kelly replied. He set aside his own staff and took Rodney's. Feeling along its length, he said, “Good job with the sanding. Stray splinters are a pain to get out.”

He leaned over and picked out a couple of tools and showed Rodney how to use them to smooth out the knots and stubborn rough spots without having to worry about the staff's integrity. After getting one of the knots started through demonstrating, Kelly handed the staff and tools back to Rodney to finish.

“You'll have more pride in it if you do most of the work,” he said.

“I could have figured that out, moron,” Rodney replied and Kelly chuckled. Rodney smiled slightly. He had never been sure why Kelly had found his put-downs funny. It had to be the fact that he didn't understand exactly what Rodney meant and was amused by Rodney's “quaint” vocabulary.

Turning back to his staff, Rodney continued to work on it until the knots had been pared down and the rough spots worn smooth to produce a streamlined piece of wood.

“Okay, I think I'm done,” he said.

“All right, let's take a look,” Kelly said as he stood.

Rodney followed suit and handed Kelly his staff when he gestured for it. Kelly held it in the palms of his hands and inspected it before holding it out in front of him and looking down its length as he turned it. He balanced it in front of him with one hand in the middle and it didn't wobble. Kelly spun it a few times before jabbing the air with it. He nodded in appreciation.

“I think you did a good job,” he replied with satisfaction. “Care to try it out?”

“Sure,” Rodney replied with a grin, pleased that it passed Kelly's inspection.

Kelly handed Rodney's staff back to him and picked up his own. “We better go down to the practice area. Otherwise, either Jean, Kirby, or my father will have our hides, since we should know better about the proper places to do things.”

“I take it you and Kevin got that a lot?” Rodney smirked.

“We had our fair share,” Kelly replied with a grin. “And you've been here long enough that you wouldn't be exempt from punishment for knowing better. Come on.”

The next morning, Rodney was up before either Kirby or Jillian, excitement thrumming through him. He could see why everyone's response to this tenth month festival was akin to Christmas – the possibility of meeting so many new people who had who-knows-what to offer, as well as possibly having information on how Atlantis was doing was exciting and Rodney wanted to get on with it as quickly as possible. The only difference was that he couldn't remember ever being this excited about Christmas. The closest thing was probably finding out just how much potential Atlantis had, even if he wouldn't be able to publish anything about it for a long time – if ever.

Not able to lie still any longer, Rodney decided to get up. By the time Kirby and Jillian got up, he had done his morning ablutions, kindled a fresh fire from the previous day's embers, and had breakfast almost ready.

After a quiet breakfast, Jillian pulled on her boots and robe and gathered up a few small items that Rodney didn't recognize before bidding Kirby and Rodney a quick goodbye and was gone.

“You should come with me,” Kirby said as he gathered up some of his medicines into an over-the-shoulder pouch and pulled on his boots and robe. “This will be a good chance for you to be formally introduced as my apprentice. It'll open a lot of doors for you.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied, pulling on his own boots and robe. “What do I need to bring?”

“Just yourself.” Kirby smiled. “Don't worry – it may be business, but it's not very somber.”

As they entered the new encampment, Rodney was surprised how busy it was – even this early in the morning. Practically all of the tents had stalls set up in front of them with a plethora of items and services displayed. Rodney couldn't believe that all of this had happened in under 54 hours. He soaked in as much as possible as he followed Kirby to their first appointment. He made a mental note of every stall that looked even vaguely interesting so that he could revisit it if he had time. The festival might last a month, but Rodney wasn't sure how much free time he would have.

Their first stop took them to a family with six kids – each of whom welcomed him loudly and cheerfully as he was introduced to them. Rodney couldn't imagine having that many, let alone that many with the oldest being only six or seven and going in steps down to about one – if that. Kirby checked all of the kids out and pronounced them all healthy before sitting down to talk with their parents – who were their people's healers. Rodney listened attentively as they traded information about what sort of illnesses they had encountered in the past year and what sorts of things they had used to heal them. Rodney was surprised at how in-depth their discussion was and couldn't help but think that they were, relatively speaking, as informed as Carson and the other doctors on Atlantis would be. Before they left, Kirby and the couple exchanged some of their herbs and the couple wished Rodney well in his studies. Rodney felt slightly embarrassed by it – he wasn't a young schoolboy – but thanked them shyly and ducked his head in response.

The second and third stops were much the same and Rodney found he was enjoying himself as he listened to the more experienced healers talk and share information.

“I believe it is time for lunch,” Kirby said as they emerged from the third tent.

Squinting up at the sun, Rodney found himself agreeing. “Sounds good. Are we going back to –?”

“No,” Kirby interrupted. “I know a place we can eat – and I have to stop there anyway.”

“Lead on,” Rodney said.

Kirby took them to a small stand a few tents down. As they drew closer, Rodney realized that it was the source of the roasted meat he'd been smelling during the past meeting.

“Good day, Dom'yan,” Kirby said with a slight bow when they reached it.

“Good day to you as well, Kirby,” Dom'yan replied, inclining his head. “How have you been this past cycle?”

“Very well, thank you. The gods have been very kind - I have been given a new apprentice.” He gestured to Rodney. “This is Rodney of Atlantis. Rodney, this Dom'yan of the Nagdali.”

“Good day, Dom'yan of the Nagdali,” Rodney said, repeating Kirby's bow. As he had done fleetingly with Natalia the day before, Rodney noticed the similarities Dom'yan had with both the Laprans and Natalia. Given how small the Lapran population was, and extrapolating that the Morykons and Nagdalis' populations weren't much bigger since they were all intermarrying, he wasn't surprised.

“Good day to you, Rodney of Atlantis,” Dom'yan said, inclining his head to Rodney. “Isn't he a little old?” he asked Kirby with a sly grin.

“His age is an asset,” Kirby replied. “At least with him, I don't have to deal with growing pains while I'm trying to teach him,” Kirby rolled his eyes, “which is why I've only ever taken one at a time - I don't think I could deal with more than one at a time.”

“You are a better man than I, Kirby,” Dom'yan replied with a warm smile. “And I suspect you are here for food.”

“We are,” Kirby, affirmed. Pulling out a smaller pouch from his bag, he said, “I also have your medicines.”

“You are a life saver, my friend,” Dom'yan said with a grin as he took the pouch, making it vanish into his robes. “Give me a moment to prepare your food.”

“He has digestive problems,” Kirby murmured to Rodney. “Somewhat ironic, isn't it?”

“Here you go,” Dom'yan said, putting two laden plates on the counter.

Rodney suspiciously eyed the plates that held what looked like some sort of barbecued pulled pork, a mixture of rice, beans, and cheese, and some cooked leafy greens that looked suspiciously like the spinach his grandmother had always tried to make him eat, and for a moment, his old fears suddenly rushed to the fore, but he pushed them down when he realized that the chances of citrus poisoning were slim to none. He picked up his plate and the smells that assaulted his nose made his mouth water and his stomach growl. Both Kirby and Dom'yan laughed.

“Aren't you feeding him enough?” Dom'yan asked Kirby with a chuckle.

“Oh, we feed him enough,” Kirby replied between bites of the maybe barbecue. “He has a continually empty stomach.”

“Better me than him in this business then, eh?” Dom'yan said with a twinkle in his eyes.

“He'd know how to cook better than you,” Kirby replied as Rodney was about to take his first bite and Rodney eyed him suspiciously. “Don't worry,” he replied with a laugh. “Dom'yan's cooking won't kill you.”

“And it might put some meat on his bones,” Dom'yan said with a critical eye.

Rodney looked down at himself. Sure, he'd lost a fair amount of the pudge he'd been told he needed to lose time and again by Carson and all his other doctors, but he didn't think he looked *that* bad. He certainly wasn’t gaunt.

“If you keep scaring my apprentice, Dom'yan, we're not coming back,” Kirby said. “Eat your lunch, Rodney-kun.”

Rodney took a tentative bite of the maybe-barbecue. “Oh my god,” he said, closing his eyes briefly in bliss as the flavor blossomed in his mouth. “This is *amazing*. Seriously.”

Both Kirby and Dom'yan chuckled. “I think he likes it,” Dom'yan said.

The next two weeks flew by. Every day, Rodney was up early and out among the newcomers until late in the evening – a large portion of the time was in the capacity of Kirby's apprentice as the elder healer traded herbs and information with the various tribes or tended to someone who either had fallen ill or had an ongoing condition that Kirby was more adept at dealing with than that person's own healer. But he was also able to spend some time going around with Kelly and looking at the different wares that were being offered and visiting with Kelly's friends.

“He's here,” Kelly whispered urgently one day while Rodney was studying a piece of technology at one of the stalls. He wasn't completely sure what it did, but it wasn't Ancient tech – even if it was a very good-looking imitation. All of the technology that he had seen had been pretty low-tech. He knew that there were a few more advanced things that were being offered, but didn't know how to ask about them.

“Who's here?” Rodney asked, bewildered, looking up.

“*Kevin's* here,” Kelly replied in exasperation.

“Oh.” Rodney looked around them, but couldn't pick out anyone that he would assume was Kevin. “Where?”

“Well, he's gone now,” Kelly sulked. “I just saw him briefly at the other end of the row.”

“Are you sure it was him?” Rodney asked.

“*Yes,* I'm sure. Let's go see the Morykons and see if he's there.”

Rodney sighed and put down the gadget, promising the seller he'd be back before following Kelly to the Morykons' tent. He'd been there a number of times since the initial meeting and had found he liked them a lot. He just hoped that Kelly wasn’t getting his hopes up at wanting to see his best friend – former best friend – whatever.

When they were two tents away, Kelly stopped suddenly, causing people behind them to glower as they went around. “I don’t know if I can do this, Rodney-chan,” he said.

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Why not? This is all you’ve been talking about for the past two weeks.”

“I know, but what if we’ve changed too much and don’t know what to say to each other? What if having you here makes him feel weird? What if he doesn’t want to talk to me?”

“Look at me,” Rodney commanded. When Kelly did, Rodney said, “Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Okay, I’m sure you’ll have enough to talk about – you haven’t seen each other in over two cycles. If you or he feels weird that I’m here, I’ll leave, easy as that. And if he doesn’t want to talk to you, then he’s being an asshole. Now get over there and see if that was really him."

Kelly’s gaze darted between Rodney and their destination before he blew out another breath. “You’re right.” He stood up straight and looked at the tent resolutely. “If I don’t do this now, he’ll leave and I’ll hate myself for not knowing for sure.” He glanced at Rodney nervously. “You’re coming with me, right?”

Rodney rolled his eyes again. “Of course I am. Bound friends, remember?”

Kelly blew out a breath. “Right. Let’s go.”

“If you don’t start walking, I’m going to push you over there.”

Kelly nodded and he finished the rest of the distance under his own power, with Rodney ready to grab him if he decided to try fleeing.

At Kelly’s stricken look once there, Rodney muttered, “Oh, for the –,” before calling into the tent, “Good day to the people of Morykos.”

“Good day to the people of Lapras,” a voice called. “Please come in.”

“Go on,” Rodney said to Kelly. “Get in there or I’ll call him out here.”

“You wouldn’t!” Kelly stared at Rodney wide-eyed.

“I would,” Rodney smirked. “I’ve done worse. I’ll push you in there if I have to.”

“Is everything all right?” Natalia asked, looking concerned as she appeared at the entrance to the tent.

“Can Kevin come out and play?” Rodney asked before Kelly could get a word out. Kelly snapped his mouth shout and glared at Rodney.

“Sure,” she replied with a smile. “Come on in and I’ll get him for you two.”

“I hate you,” Kelly hissed to Rodney as they followed her inside and stopped in the main room as she disappeared into one of the side rooms.

“I doubt you mean it,” Rodney replied serenely. “You’ll be thanking me by the end of this.”

The sound of children giggling drifted out of the room seconds before Kevin emerged. “Who wanted to –,” he broke off mid-sentence when he saw Kelly. “Kelly!” he exclaimed, a grin lighting up his face and he rushed over to him. “My gods, it is you!”

“Who did you think it would be?” Kelly replied, whose grin matched Kevin’s.

They touched their hands to each other’s cheeks and held the pose for a few moments. As he watched them, Rodney knew that even if this was going to continue being ridiculously saccharine, making Kelly come see Kevin had been the right thing to do.

When they broke apart, Kevin gave Rodney a once-over and asked, “Who’s this, then?”

Suddenly shy again, Kelly said, “This is Rodney of Atlantis. He came to us at the end of the festival two cycles ago. He’s my bond friend.”

Kevin grinned and said, “Welcome, Rodney of Atlantis,” before putting his hands on Rodney’s cheeks and closing his eyes. Rodney did the same, if a little uncertainly, given that two hands seemed to be reserved for people who were very close. Stepping back, Kevin said, “I’m glad you found someone, Kelly-chan. When was the ceremony?”

“Only a few months ago,” Kelly replied.

“Good for you. Good for both of you,” Kevin said, including Rodney in it as well. “Excuse me for being an inconsiderate host. Come and sit and tell me what’s been happening since I left. And I want to hear all about the two of you.”

“Only if you promise to tell me about your wife and children,” Kelly replied as the three of them settled on the pillows. “And I’m sure you and Rodney can commiserate together over your apprenticeships.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Kevin replied with a smile. “Dealing with a bunch of kids who’re nine and ten isn’t the best.”

“Four words,” Rodney said, “Twelve-year-old girls.”

Kevin winced. “Okay, I think you win.” Switching topics, he said, “You remember how apprehensive I was about going to Morykos, Kelly? I have to say, I love being a husband and a father.”

Rodney listened to them catch up with an amused smile on his face. He could tell that even after an extended period of time apart, they were still very close. He contributed when necessary, but was content to simply let them talk.

Rodney sighed in frustration. When the festival ended in three days, everyone would be going home and he still had no idea how they would manage. He had asked a few of the tribes, but they had all remained closed-lipped on the subject. He had told them – pleaded, even – to at least let him send a message to Atlantis, but they refused that as well.

“Okay, here’s the plan,” Rodney heard one day as he was perusing a table with a variety of technological odds and ends. “We’re going to strike in three days after everyone else has left. Study your layouts. Remember that we’re shifting to the left of what we did last year. You know what you need to do.”

Rodney was shocked. He remembered Kirby telling him about the raids, but to actually hear one being planned was different. He set down the gadget he had been studying and gave the man behind the counter a stiff ‘good day’.

Rodney wandered aimlessly, trying to get his thoughts together to figure out how to proceed. While the Laprans might be content to let the Korsans raid them and even think that doing so was giving them good karma, Rodney couldn’t just sit by and watch while people he had come to like, and in some cases maybe love, lose property or family members, or be taken themselves.

As he ran into a laughing Kelly and Dom’yan, Rodney felt a wave of relief. “Kelly, I have a problem,” he said urgently.

“Okay,” Kelly replied, immediately turning serious. “I’ll see you later Dom’yan. What is it, Rodney-chan?”

“Not here,” Rodney replied. They were quiet as they headed back to their settlement and Kelly directed them into his quarters. Once inside, Rodney blew out a breath. “I heard the raiders talking – well, one in particular. We have to stop them, Kelly.”

“What?” Kelly asked, shocked. “Why?”

“What do you mean, ‘why?’,” Rodney asked indignantly. “Has it ever occurred to you that what the Korsans are doing isn’t the will of the gods, but the actions of a petty, greedy people? So we need to stop them.”

“How, Rodney-chan? It’s just the two of us.”

“Then we’ll get the other men and women to help us and we’ll fight back. If you put a little force behind all the staff training we’ve done, I’m sure you could easily kick their asses. We have to show them that we won’t let them take our possessions, let alone our family and friends from us.”

“Rodney-chan,” Kelly pleaded. “I know that we all – yourself included – have come to see you as one of us, but that’s not the way we do things here.”

“It should be,” Rodney pushed. “Think about it, Kelly. What was Kirby like after his apprentice was taken two years ago? I’m sure you knew her. Weren’t you upset that she was taken, even if it is a fact of life? I’m sure there have been others that you know.” Building up steam, he pushed forward. “What if they took Kirby? Jillian? Kevin? Me? Your dad? Wouldn’t you want to do whatever you could to either get us back or, at the very least, keep it from happening to anyone else?”

“Yes,” Kelly ground out. “But, Rodney-chan –”

“No buts,” Rodney said, holding up a finger. “I’m not going to let this happen again, if I can help it, so you’re just going to have to trust me. Now, you better get back out there before anyone notices we’ve been gone for a while. I’ll be out in a bit.”

Kelly looked at him with a mix of skepticism and like he’d finally lost his marbles, but complied.

Rodney wasn’t sure *how* he was going to coordinate this – things like that had always been John’s job on Atlantis – but, damn it, he wasn’t about to let a group of thugs terrorize his people any longer. He stalked into his quarters and flopped down, immediately pulling himself into a half-lotus. Pulling himself together, he promised himself he’d figure out a way to stop this once and for all.

“Okay, look. You’ve got to help me,” Rodney said firmly, as he stopped pacing and sat down next to Kelly. “You should know by now that I wouldn’t do this if I thought that keeping the status quo would be better.”

“I know,” Kelly sighed as he looked around the empty practice cave. “It’s just that you’re going against generations of belief. It’s not going to be easy.”

“I wouldn’t think it would be. But look, I need to know what their attack patterns are like so we can make up a plan.”

“Okay, where do you want me to begin?”

“Wherever you want, but as far back as you can remember would be the best.”

As Kelly gave Rodney the details of a number of attacks, as well as names and ages of people taken and possessions seized. Rodney processed it as quickly as possible, picking up patterns and making assessments. When Kelly finished, Rodney mulled over the information, wishing John was there to help him plan it. But he had seen him get ready for enough missions to have some idea of how to do it. He was able to cross off most ideas due to time constraints or lack of item availability. The one thing he kept coming back to was that this was not be easy.

“I think I’ve got a plan,” Rodney finally said. At Kelly’s expectant look, he continued, “We don’t let it be easy for them.”

Kelly looked at him like he’d grown another head. “We went through all of that for *that*?”

“I know, I know. It sounds stupid, but think about it. Your people haven’t fought back in generations. They’re not expecting you to. They’ll plan on a little roughing up at most to keep us all ‘in line’, but that’ll give us the element of surprise. We’ll obviously take the kids, and anyone else that could be easily harmed, down into the caves to keep them safe and I prefer to have it done as soon as possible,” he said, more to himself than Kelly. Pulling himself back on topic, he continued, “I think if we can find a way to not be overtly forceful but still tell them that we’re not going to take it, we won’t have to use actual brute force. How many people can use staffs?”

“At least a third own staffs,” Kelly replied numbly, looking a bit shell-shocked. “The number goes up to a little over half if you don’t care about their level of proficiency.”

“I think they should all be at the ready, in case if things do get ugly.” He squeezed Kelly’s shoulder. “We’ll make it through this, Kelly-chan.”

“I wish I had your assurance, Rodney-chan.”

“Believe me, most of this is just bravado. I’ve learned, though, that some fears can be great motivators to overcoming other fears.” He stood. “Come on, we’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“Where do we start?” Kelly asked as he also stood.

“Well, we need to get everyone together. I think it’d be easiest to go over the plan that way.”

“We’ll have to do it in the evenings, then. That’s the only time everyone will be back.” Kelly looked skeptical. “Are you sure about this, Rodney-chan?”

“As sure as I can be,” Rodney replied, giving him a grim smile.

“And this fear – you felt this normally on Atlantis?”

“I wouldn’t say *normally*,” Rodney replied, rubbing the back of his neck and wincing slightly. “Routinely, yes.”

“You’re definitely made of sterner stuff than either I am or you give yourself credit for. I don’t think I could do this regularly.”

“Normally I don’t have time to think about it,” Rodney replied as they started walking to the surface. “I’m in the middle of whatever crisis we’re thrown into and once we’re done, I usually collapse into bed exhausted. After that, I’m usually on to whatever’s next. I’ve learned it’s best not to dwell on things.” After a pause, he asked, “So, how do we gather everyone together?”

“We just go around to everyone’s quarters and tell them we need to have a general meeting.”

“Oh, right,” Rodney commented, remembering when others had done that before prior to the tenth month festival. Coming out of the caves, he said, “Okay, let’s get started, because we’ve then got four other boroughs to get to.”

Kelly nodded as he looked around. “It looks like everyone’s back.” Pointing to the right, he said, “I’ll start on this side and you start on that side. We’ll meet in the middle.”

Rodney nodded and they split up. Going into his own quarters, he said to Kirby and Jillian, “We’re having a group meeting in a few minutes.”

“About what?” Jillian asked curiously.

“Oh, just some stuff,” Rodney replied evasively as he put his staff away.

“Is everything okay, Rodney-kun?” Kirby asked, looking concerned as he put the medicines he had been working on aside. Jillian gave the stew a final stir and they both stood.

“Yeah, I think it will be,” Rodney replied, distractedly, as he headed towards the entrance. “I’ve got to go alert everyone else,” he said before ducking out.

Gathering everyone together was easier than Rodney had expected and in a matter of minutes, he and Kelly had everyone in their borough assembled in the common area.

Rodney let out a focused breath as Kelly whispered, “Good luck.”

Rodney gave him a weak smile before going up to the entrance of the caves, which gave him a natural, if slight, rise to stand on so he could look out over everyone. “Okay,” he said loudly, “can I please have everyone’s attention?” When a few dozen pairs of eyes focused on him and a hush fell over the crowd, Rodney continued, “All right then. I’ll keep this as brief as possible.”

“If you can do that, Rodney-kun, it will be a surprising day,” Kirby called and everyone laughed.

“Oh, ha ha,” Rodney replied, knowing it was true that, even though he had gotten much better, he still tended to let his mouth get away from him. “I can do it, Kirby, I just choose not to.” Looking out over the crowd of people he had become familiar with and almost thought of as a new family, he said, “All right, I doubt any of you are going to like what I have to say, so I’m just going to say it. I think you’re all being stupid and moronic to epic proportions for letting the Korsans take your people and your property and not fighting back. And I think that you should do so when they come in a few days’ time.”

There was a collective gasp from the group. “We can’t do that,” someone replied, shocked.

“Why not?” Rodney replied, crossly, folding his arms over his chest defiantly. “Because of your ‘beliefs’?”

A scattered chorus of ‘yes’ answered him.

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Okay, let me get this straight.” He raised a hand to tick off reasons. “You believe that you should be kind and compassionate to others.” Various people nodded. “Okay, fine – great, even. That’s a commendable virtue in anyone.” Raising a second finger, he continued, “The Korsans used to be a part of your little ‘intermarriage’ cabal but got kicked out due to the fact that they didn’t have good hereditary material, plus they were taking advantage in other ways of you, the Morykons, and the Nagdalis.” More people nodded. “Then,” his voice started to rise in pitch and irritation, “why in the *hell* are you helping them to survive? Because that’s what you’re doing, you know. I doubt that your forefathers were intentionally trying to kill them off by not breeding or trading with them, but, seriously, what kind of sense does it make that they tell them, ‘Look, we’re not going to trade or intermarry with you anymore,’ which obviously upsets the Korsans since they’re losing a key part to their survival, and then they just roll over and let them take people and things because they’re angry and bitter? None of you let your children do that.”

“Our ancestors did fight back originally,” Jean protested.

“Then what changed?” Rodney challenged. “Because the Korsans doing it once a cycle after the festival isn’t exactly beating your ancestors down and making them submit due to sheer force. It should’ve given them time to regroup and be ready for the next time, not turn what the Korsans were, and still are, doing into some sort of weird way for you all to ‘atone’ for your sins so the gods will forgive you and stop what was happening. I hate to break it to all of you, but the gods have nothing to do with this. This is completely the fault of a petty, bitter group of people who don’t know how to take rejection gracefully and find a different way of doing things when one avenue closes to them.” Changing tactics at their stony-faced stares, he said, “Haven’t you ever wanted to fight back? Were you ever afraid that a loved one would be taken? Justine – are you afraid that one of your daughters might be taken this time? Or, Kirby – what about Jillian? Or Jillian – what about Kyle? I know how much you love your cousin.” The anger left his voice, to be replaced by a sad desperation. “How can you all stand it? The knowledge that either you or a loved one could be taken away, never to see each other again, and knowing that there might be *something* you could have done to prevent it, but didn’t?”

“But if we try to fight back, they’ll just use force and it’ll make things worse,” one of the women said.

“That is a possibility,” Rodney replied. “But what if you were victorious? What if you were able to kick them out for good? Have you ever thought about that? What would it be like if you and your children didn’t have to worry about them ever again?”

There was some murmuring between everyone and Rodney saw a few hesitant smiles.

“But we don’t know how to fight back,” Jillian said.

“Yes, you do,” Rodney replied indignantly. “What do you think the staff fighting is? A meditative art form? A way to get rid of some excess energy? It was originally intended to be a form of actual fighting. Which means it can be used as a form of defense. You’ve already got the basics, you just have to put some force behind it.”

“How?” Kelly asked.

Rodney rolled his eyes. “You just put more force behind your offense and you don’t let your defensive forms fall weakly. Using your grief at losing a loved one and your anger at the Korsans for taking them is a great way to do it.”

The Laprans still looked doubtful.

“Look,” he said, trying a different tack. “What if I could promise that the world isn’t going to end if we do this? And that there just might be a way to keep the Korsans from coming back?” From the looks in their eyes, Rodney could tell that he had just won over a lot of them.

“How would you do that?” Kirby asked.

“Well, I’d need to know how they got off this planet, for one thing. And I also need to know if they use the same method to get on and off their home planet.”

“They use the same piece of technology all the other tribes use to leave our planet,” Jean said. “But we don’t know if it’s the same thing they use to come here.”

“Is there any way I could get my hands on one?” Rodney asked. “I promise I won’t leave – if that’s what anyone’s worried about. I wouldn’t do that to all of you. But it would really help if I could see how it works.”

“Do you want theirs specifically, or just one in general?” someone asked.

“Well, theirs specifically would be great, but I’ll take whatever I can get.”

“Done,” the person, whom Rodney suddenly remembered was named Kieran, replied. “Is tomorrow soon enough?”

“That should be fine,” Rodney replied. He honestly had no idea if that would give him enough time, but it would have to. “So,” Rodney continued, looking out over the group, “I have at least one person willing to give this a shot with me. What about the rest of you?”

They looked back at him warily as Kirby said, “We need time to consider what you’ve said, Rodney-chan. We hear the truth of your words in our hearts, but for most of us, our heads are telling us to continue on the path that was set out by our ancestors.” There were nods from the rest of the group.

“That’s fair,” Rodney replied. “I do understand your obvious hesitation to throw out numerous generations worth of beliefs. But remember that the Korsans aren’t going to care if you’ve made up your minds or not. If you’re not ready by the time they come, it’ll be business as usual for them. Thank you all for your time.”

Quiet murmurs spread through the group as Rodney strode to the corridor, blatantly not looking to see what people’s reactions were, where Kelly met him.

As they headed to the next borough, Rodney said, “How do you think it went?”

Kelly shrugged. “It’s hard to say. No one’s ever openly gone against our beliefs. I think you definitely hit a nerve, though.” He grinned. “I think you’re what we need.”

“How so?” Rodney asked, looking at him perplexed.

Kelly stopped and looked at him exasperated. “Rodney, seriously. We’ve been going about our business with nothing changing for *generations*, for farther back than anyone here can remember. Hope can only take us so far before it wears too thin. I think that while everyone would love to see the sandstorms stop for good and for things to return to the way they were before the sandstorms started, none of us really believes it’s going to happen. I think that what we do makes us feel better, but I doubt it’s going to make the gods change their minds. I think they’ve grown bored with how we’ve been handling things and until something changes with us, I doubt things are going to change on their end.”

“At least you’re not as dumb as some of your beliefs make you seem,” Rodney commented as he started walking again.

“And what do you believe, Rodney-chan?”

Rodney shrugged as he looked at the floor. “I’ve never really thought about it. I think things are too amazing and awesome for them to have just randomly come into being millions of years ago. But I doubt that there’s any sort of god – or gods – controlling our every action and watching what we’re doing.”

“Then how do you explain people’s motivation for doing things?”

“I’ve never really thought about it,” he said, looking up at Kelly. “I’ve always just assumed it was mostly instinctual – the necessity of food, of the survival of both the being and of the species.”

“And everything hinges on that?”

“I guess so.” Kelly’s questions should have been easy, Rodney’s brain told him. If anyone on either Earth or Atlantis had brought up the subject, Rodney would have immediately shot them down and been done with it, but something about Kelly’s earnestness made Rodney stop and think. “Look,” Rodney stopped a few feet from the entrance to the next borough, “I’ve never thought about it because it never seemed important. There are a number of people where I’m from who believe deeply in a higher power and a divine plan, but that isn’t for me.”

“Fair enough.” He glanced at the entrance to the next borough. “Are you ready to do this?”

“Does it matter?” Rodney asked. “We need to do this. I’m more worried about how they’ll react. If our borough acted the way it did, how are the rest of them going to act?”

“Take a deep breath and let it out slowly, Rodney-chan,” Kelly said, “and focus on why we’re doing this.”

Rodney did as he was told and felt a bit of his nervousness melt away. “Okay, let’s go,” he said as he started moving again.

On the way back to their borough after finishing with the final borough, both Rodney and Kelly let out a deep breath.

“We’re not dead,” Kelly said lightly.

“I think it could have been a close call a few times,” Rodney replied. “But the reactions were basically the same across the board, so I think there’s some hope. We’ll just have to see once things marinate for a while.”

“Marinate?” Kelly asked.

“Sits, gets thought through,” Rodney replied off-handedly.

“Ah.” Kelly glanced around the commons area as they entered. “This is good, right?” he asked quietly.

Rodney did a quick scan and saw that most of the people had disbanded. The ones who were out were in the midst of normal evening activities. “I think so. It looks like they haven’t gotten together and decided to kill us for heresy. Do you guys do that here?” Rodney asked, looking at Kelly skeptically.

“No, not really,” Kelly replied. “But, then again, no one’s ever tried going against our stated beliefs before, either. So, you never know if they’re going to change their mind on that now.”

“Oh, that’s reassuring,” Rodney replied sarcastically as they headed back to his quarters. “I’ll be the Laprans’ first religious rebel and heretic.”

“If you haven’t immediately been ostracized, I have a feeling that things will be fine.”

“Well, we’ll see. Sometimes it takes a while for these things to kick in.”

Kelly shrugged as his stomach growled. “I doubt that’ll happen at this point. Anyway, I don’t know about you, but I need to eat. So I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, I better go see if Jillian and Kirby saved me any food or if I’m going to starve for who knows how long as penitence.” He gave Kelly a slight wave before ducking into his quarters.

Inside, Kirby was going over some scrolls and Jillian was mending some shirts. The pot was still hanging over the fire and the smell of stew was still strong in the air. They both looked up as he entered and Jillian set aside the shirt and moved to get Rodney a bowl of stew.

“I guess this means I’m not going to be thrown out?” Rodney asked hopefully.

“That’s going to depend on how everything else goes,” Kirby replied. “If this doesn’t go well, we may be forced to.”

“Really?” Rodney asked, surprised, as he sat down and Jillian handed him the steaming bowl before returning to her work.

Kirby shrugged. “I’m not really sure. We’ve never had anything like this happen before. What possessed you to do such a thing?”

Rodney half shrugged as he started eating and between bites, he said, “I couldn’t stand by and let the Korsans continue doing what they’ve been doing to all of you. I care for all of you too much to let that happen if I think I can do something about it.”

“And is this arrogance a trait of your people, or just a personal trait?” Kirby asked, looking at him astutely.

“A little of both, actually,” Rodney replied, not letting himself get worried by Kirby’s line of questioning. “And I’ve gotten my native people out of a number of incidents that were much worse than this, so I feel confident that if everyone would get their collective head out of their collective ass, we can deal with a few bullies and be successful.”

Kirby seemed to consider what Rodney said as Jillian spoke up, “I think Rodney has a good idea, Father. I don’t think the gods are allowing the Korsans to do this as a further measure of our faithfulness. We show it on a daily basis by persevering and thriving against the sandstorms. While our refusal to stoop to their level shouldn’t be commended, couldn’t we also be hindering ourselves by not actively getting rid of something evil that holds us in fear?”

“You have a good point, Jillian,” Kirby replied. “You both have given me a number of things to think about. Now, Rodney, when you’re finished eating, I’d like to start teaching you about the scrolls.”

“I’m done,” Rodney replied, standing. “Let me just clean up first.”

“I’ll get that,” Jillian said, taking the bowl out of his hands. “And don’t protest.”

Rodney opened his mouth, but immediately closed it again to comply. He crossed the room and sat down next to Kirby. “Okay, so what are we looking at?” he asked as he leaned forward to see the scroll that Kirby had laid out on a small table.

“This is part of the family tree for the peoples of Lapras, Nagdali, and Morykos,” Kirby replied as he pointed out the three different sections. “We use it to help us arrange marriages among ourselves and between our peoples.”

“So the other tribes have copies of these as well?” Rodney asked as he looked over the detailed, yet childish, drawings of people that had glyphs next to them. “And I thought that you didn’t have a writing system.”

“They do and we don’t. These symbols were taken from the other tribes so that they’d have a way to understand what was going on within our people. Like this one,” Kirby pointed out a small triangle next to one of the figures. “This means that this woman has an empty stomach like you.”

Rodney scanned the scroll. “This is amazing. How far back does this go?”

“Generations. The scrolls are kept in the small set of quarters adjacent to us.”

“So, how do you decide who to marry?”

“Usually someone will come to myself or my equal among the other tribes and say that they want to find a husband or wife for their daughter or son. We find out what sort of match they’re looking for – whether it be health-wise, personality, which guild they’re a part of, and go from there. And if the resulting match ends up being someone in one of the other tribes, we’ll go there first to that tribe’s healer and see what they think. If they believe it would be a wise match, then an offer is made to the family and then it goes from there.”

Rodney shook his head as he continued to study the scroll. “I think it would take forever to get a handle on how to do this.”

“And, yet, you’ve learned how to work the device that dials the Ring of the Ancestors.”

“That’s different,” Rodney replied with a shrug.

“I think it’s a similar thing dressed up in different ways,” Kirby replied as he carefully rolled up the scroll. “I need to sleep on a few ideas, and you need your rest as well, because who knows what the next few days are going to bring you.”

When Rodney came out of his quarters the next morning, he was surprised to see Kieran waiting for him.

“I have the device for you,” Kieran said, handing over a small black device that was a cube the size of Rodney’s palm with a cord attached to one side. “Good luck.”

“How does it work?” Rodney asked as he started to examine it.

Kieran shrugged. “I’m not really sure. All I know is that it enables people to get off this planet. Ask Kelly – he’s the expert on the Ring of the Ancestors.”

“I will.” Rodney looked up from the device. “Thank you, Kieran, for getting this. Do I want to know how you got it?”

Kieran shrugged. “I told them that we just wanted to do a routine check on it and that you were an outside specialist on Ring technology and wanted a closer look at it. They handed it over.”

“That’s surprising. So, how long do I have?”

Kieran shrugged again. “They want it back before they have to leave. Other than that, they didn’t specify. Look, I’ve got to meet some of the Nagdalis about a trade negotiation. If you need any more help, just ask, okay?”

“No problem,” Rodney replied. “I didn’t mean to hold you up. And thanks again.”

As Kieran left, Rodney sat down outside of his quarters and began studying the device. He could see that it had seams around the edges, but couldn’t figure out a way to get inside. There also didn’t appear to be an on/off switch, though the cord did look like it had the capability to plug in on its free end.

Rodney was about to give up in frustration and get Kelly out of his quarters whether he wanted to or not when the subject of Rodney’s wish came out under his own volition and without any provocation.

“I see you got the device,” Kelly commented, wandering over.

“I did, though I’m about to give up in frustration,” Rodney commented. “I can’t get it to turn on or figure out how to get inside of it.”

“Well, you can’t simply turn it on because it needs to be plugged into the Ring to activate its power source,” Kelly replied as he sat down next to Rodney. “Though, it will enable if it’s opened so that the memory function can be updated.” He reached over and took the device out of Rodney’s hands.

“I thought that this device powered the Gate,” Rodney said, perplexed.

“It does,” Kelly responded. “But you don’t want it to accidentally turn on and burn out the power source, do you?” Not waiting for an answer, he continued, “And this is how you open it.” He held the cube at the corners on a diagonal line and gently pushed his hands together; with a light ‘pop’, the cube opened. Setting the cover aside, Kelly flipped up a small display screen and it turned itself on. “So, what do you want to do with this?”

“Well, I was hoping to get a look at how it worked,” Rodney replied, leaning in and tentatively reaching out to take it out of Kelly’s hands. Kelly easily handed it over. “And I was hoping to disable it from coming back here.” He looked up at Kelly. “Do the Korsans raid the Morykons and the Nagdalis as well?”

“Yes, but to a lesser extent, since we were the first to not allow them to intermarry with us.”

Studying the device, Rodney said, “But the chances are good that if they find out they can’t get to us, they’ll start picking on them more, and from them, the Korsans will find a way back here. So, we should see about putting a block on our address as well as the address of the Nagdalis and the Morykons – one that keeps this device from remembering it when they try to put it back in and also stops the Gate from dialing even if it doesn’t keep it in its memory. I need to get to the Gate to hook this up so I can see how it works.”

“Rodney, I doubt they’d allow you to do that.”

Rodney looked at Kelly sharply. “Don’t be such an idiot. I’m not going anywhere once I get there. I made a promise to help fight against the Korsans and I intend to do that. And part of that fight includes giving this back to them. Besides, you’re coming with me and I’m sure that if anyone has any objections, they’ll listen to you more than me. Plus, there will be a fair number of people around the Gate, right?”

“Yes,” Kelly sighed. “The Locdras are going home today.”

“Good,” Rodney beamed as he stood. “That means that there will be enough people to stop me if I do decide to attempt something, since we know it’ll take them forever to decide how they want to do things. Come on, we better get moving.” He shut the screen on the display and put the casing back in place. At Kelly’s worried look, he said, “Look, I *promise* I won’t do that. Maybe back at the beginning I would’ve considered doing that, but it’s the farthest thing from my mind at this point. I may miss Atlantis, but this is my home now and, believe me, I have enough common sense to know not to screw that up.”

Kelly still sat there, looking at Rodney warily.

Rodney huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Look, I’m going whether you are or not and your ambivalence is wasting precious time.”

“Okay, I’m coming,” Kelly replied darkly. “But I don’t like the situation you’re putting me in.”

“*Me*?” Rodney squeaked indignantly. “I gave you an out!” He started to say something else, but snapped his mouth shut and pinched the bridge of his nose before saying calmly, “We can discuss this later. Right now, we have to get going, so I suggest we both get ready as quickly as possible. I’m assuming we’re going through the tunnel since it’s quicker?”

Rodney and Kelly were soon on their way and spent the journey in silence, though Rodney was slightly surprised to find that the silence was comfortable, even with the argument they’d just had. His hands itched to work on the device. Having a new piece of technology so close was giving him a bigger buzz than the Colombian coffee Simpson had gotten the first time the Daedalus had brought requested personal items. In his desire to survive, Rodney had buried his desire to learn about other cultures’ technology. But now that he had it within his grasp, he wanted it now.

When they reached the Gate, a few of the Locdras were already there, conversing quickly and quietly about the correct order for their people and things to go through the Gate, but they paid Rodney and Kelly no mind.

“So where do we plug this thing in?” Rodney asked.

“Over here,” Kelly replied, taking him to the back of the Gate’s dais on the trapdoor’s side and Rodney immediately saw a similar cord coming out of the back of the Gate. Kelly plugged it in and the cube popped open and the display screen turned on as it opened up.

“Oh, that’s pretty cool,” Rodney said, sitting down on the dais and absently setting the cover aside as he watched the display scrolled through a series of glyphs. It stopped and a cursor started blinking. “Okay, now what?”

“Here,” Kelly said as he sat down next to Rodney. He took the device from Rodney and pulled a stylus out of one side. “The 36 symbols are here.” He drew an air circle around the small keypad. “And these two buttons here are to scroll through stored addresses.” He hit one of the buttons with the stylus and an address popped up. “Here’s ours,” he said, handing the device back over, “but I have no idea how to take it out permanently.”

“Is it stored in here permanently?” Rodney asked.

“No, only until it gets to the bottom of the list. The device can hold ten addresses at a time.”

Rodney nodded and went to work studying the device and randomly tapping buttons. When a stream of Ancient began scrolling across the screen, Rodney let out a satisfied grunt. He hit a few more buttons and the device beeped.

“What did you just do?” Kelly asked.

“I just told the device to not engage a wormhole if this device attempted to dial this Gate. I need to know the addresses for the Nagdalis and Morykons.”

Kelly gave him the addresses and Rodney repeated the process with both of them.

“Now what?” Kelly asked as he shut down the device and unplugged it.

“We hope it works,” Rodney replied as he stood and stretched.

“We *what*?” Kelly asked, shocked.

“Well, it’s not like I’ve done this before,” Rodney replied hotly. Taking a moment to calm himself, Rodney looked at the sun and then at the approaching Locdras, and, changing the subject, said, “We better get going.”

“Okay,” Kelly replied. “How could you not be sure?” he asked after they had entered the tunnel and secured the trap door.

“Given the limited amount of time and knowledge I have, I can’t be 100 percent sure,” Rodney said as they started walking. “But given what I know of other Ancient technology, I can assume and infer certain things about that device.”

Kelly let the subject drop and they traveled the rest of the way in silence.

When they returned, Jillian was playing a solitary game of dice in the commons. “The others are at the roast,” she said, looking up at them.

“I think I’m completely spent,” Kelly replied, sinking down next to her. “I doubt they’ll miss us at this point.”

“A number of people inquired if you’d be willing to demonstrate fighting techniques,” Jillian said to Rodney as he sat down on her other side.

“Okay,” he said absently as he began poking through his bag for some jerky. “It’ll have to be after I’ve gotten some sleep and food – this afternoon, probably.”

Jillian nodded. “Okay, I’ll get the word out when you’re ready. I have food ready if you two want something before you crash.”

“Oh, yes, please,” both men responded and Jillian laughed as the three of them stood and went in to eat.

The next two days passed in a blur for Rodney. He could feel himself switching over to autopilot as he helped the other tribes leave and the Laprans prepare to defend themselves against the Korsans. He was surprised when he realized that he was going at same rate as he did on Atlantis, but without the caffeine.

The training sessions he held to teach the Laprans how to truly use their staff weapons went exceedingly well, even if there was still a lingering apprehension among some at what they were doing and at using their staffs in such a way. But those that showed up proved to be apt pupils and Rodney felt himself relax a tiny bit when they finished, knowing that they weren’t going to be a completely lost cause.

Otherwise, he was a ball of nerves, and paced every chance he got. His mind also raced, drawing up every scenario he could think of based on the data that Kelly had given him, trying to figure out all the possible outcomes and making all of them be as favorable as possible.

“You’re making my eyes cross, Rodney,” Jillian said with an amused chuckle. “Could you please sit down?”

“I can’t,” he replied tensely. “When I don’t have control over a situation, or, at the very least, have something to do during a crisis, it makes me nervous. I don’t know how you people can be so calm about this.”

“We’re used to it, Rodney, remember?”

Rodney sighed. “I know.” They heard a commotion outside and Rodney spun towards the entrance. “It’s started.” Grabbing his staff and heading to the entrance, Rodney said, “I have to go out there.”

“Are you sure that’s a wise decision, Rodney-kun?” Kirby asked. “If they find out that you’re the one behind this, they could make an example of you.”

“Sooner or later, they’re going to get here and they’ll have heard by then anyway,” Rodney replied. “Besides, I better go out there and make sure no one does anything stupid.”

“I doubt anyone will do anything stupid, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied dryly.

“That depends on your definition of stupid,” Rodney responded before heading out.

On the other side of the curtain, Rodney found half of the adult Laprans and six Korsans in a silent standoff. Looking between them, Rodney wondered whom he should start berating first and for what.

“Oh, good, Rodney-kun,” Jean said lightly. “Maybe you can talk some sense into these people.”

“I think all of you are more than capable of doing that,” Rodney replied, planting one end of his staff in the ground and leaning against it. “Especially considering how they’re nothing more than greedy pigs who have brains the size of walnuts.”

Rodney heard some slight chuckling from the Laprans as the Korsans’ eyes flashed and their nostrils flared.

“You dare insult us, foreigner?” the leader of the Korsans asked, turning to Rodney.

“Sure,” Rodney replied easily, surprised at how calm he felt. “Now, I’m sure it’s been explained to you that we’re not going to take your bullying any more. So, are you going to leave quietly, or do we have to beat some sense into you?”

“I doubt you could,” the leader replied.

Out of the corner of his eye, Rodney saw the Laprans shift in place to grip their staffs tighter, or into a subtly offensive stance. “Oh, I think we could. Because we’re not going to take your bullying any longer. If you’re not smart enough to find ways to survive without stealing or intimidating, you’re not welcome here.”

The Korsans growled and Rodney couldn’t help but roll his eyes and laugh as he said, “Oh, there are so many ways I could mock you right now.”

“Beating you into submission will certainly be pleasurable,” the Korsan leader said as he advanced on Rodney and the others advanced onto the Laprans.

Rodney swung his staff so he was holding it with both hands. “Bring it on, then.”

Rodney’s focus narrowed to the man in front of him and he hoped the other Laprans would follow his lead. The Korsan pulled out the staff that had been strapped to his back. Rodney forced himself to relax as he watched the other man come at him and as he swung wide at Rodney, hoping to hit him in the side, Rodney jabbed the butt of his staff into the man’s solar plexus, winding him and causing him to drop his staff and stagger back a few steps. Rodney quickly and efficiently landed a few more hits on him, bringing him to his knees, and stood behind him, using his staff to hold the man back against his legs.

“Not so easy, was it?” he asked. He looked up and saw that the Laprans had cornered the other Korsans near the entrance to the caves. “Now, we’re going to let you all leave and you’re not going to come back.”

“Or what?” the leader laughed.

Rodney tightened the pressure against the man’s chest and heard his breathing become shallower and more labored. “Do you really want to test that theory, considering that the first time we’ve fought back, we’ve forced you to surrender?”

Hearing a sound, they both looked up and found the other Korsans being herded through the corridor and into their borough by other Laprans. Releasing the leader, Rodney poked him in the back with his staff and said, “Let’s go.”

Rodney helped herd the empty-handed and silent Korsans through the tunnel, all of the Laprans who came with him taking turns at the front and prodding the resentful Korsans along. When they got to the Gate, Rodney hooked up the Laprans’ Gate dialing device and dialed the Korsans’ planet. The Laprans herded the Korsans through and Rodney shut off the Gate.

There was a moment of silence before a whoop went up from the Laprans and Rodney grinned. They had done it.

Three days after the successful repulsion of the Korsans, the Laprans had a feast to celebrate their success.

Rodney had been surprised when, instead of returning to their normal schedule, the Laprans began to prepare for the feast as soon as he and the others returned. But he hadn’t had much time to dwell on it because as soon as he had finished eating, Jillian took the empty plate out of his hands and gently pushed him over. By the time his head hit the pillow, he was asleep.

He tried to help in whatever way he could, but no one would hear of it – insisting that since he had been responsible for their rebellion he was the guest of honor. As such, he was prohibited from doing anything. Rodney was also surprised at how many people came up to him and thanked him for what he had done and how much everyone was talking about what had happened.

“This is insanity,” he said to Kelly on the second afternoon as he watched everyone getting ready.

“What?” Kelly asked, amused. “That everyone’s excited about and happy for what you’ve done for them?”

“Yes. Granted, I came up with the idea and basically goaded everyone into going along with it, but they actually did the hard part.”

“Maybe so. But you’ve given us hope, Rodney-chan.”

“Hope for what?” Rodney asked, incredulous.

“That things could get better. The Korsans haven’t come back.”

“It’s hardly been two days. They’re probably biding their time. There are times when waiting before retaliating is as good as retaliating right away. Besides,” he muttered, “we don’t know how long it’ll take them to fix what I did to their dialing device.”

“*If* they can fix it,” Kelly amended. “I thought you had more confidence in your work.”

“Normally I do, but normally I also have a chance to actually work on and study what I’m playing with before I start fiddling with it.”

“Ah. Well, at least now we may have time to get ready for their return. The others want me to ask you to help us step-up our staff training so we can actually fight and not just do it ceremoniously.”

“I don’t know,” Rodney said hesitantly. “I don’t really know that much.”

“But you know something,” Kelly replied firmly. “If you’d like, I’ll help you.”

“Let me think about it.”

“Not a problem,” Kelly replied with a smile.

Rodney also struggled with the attention. A small part of him reveled in it and accepted it as his just due. But, for the most part, he had become accustomed to not being in the limelight. Between not being given a chance to be in the limelight and having so much of his former self stripped away and laid to rest, it felt odd and he wasn’t sure how to deal with it.

The Laprans seemed to find his unease with their praise endearing and Rodney did his best to be as gracious as possible with them and their gratitude when all he wanted to do was get away from it.

“What’s wrong, Rodney-kun?” Kirby asked the next morning as they settled in for Rodney’s meditation session.

Rodney shrugged before replying, “I’m just not sure how to deal with the attention. I used to love it, but after being away from situations that would bring me attention for so long, it feels weird.”

“It’s good, though, that you’re recognizing that change. Let’s get started.”

When the feast was over, Rodney breathed a sigh of relief. Now things would get back to normal and the next day he and the other students reported to the silk borough.

“Okay, everyone,” Lucy said when they had assembled with their partners before her. “Starting today, you are going to be officially learning the job of your partner and not learning the whole. For some of you, that will be weaving. For others, it will be one of the steps of the thread’s production. Now, let’s get started. We have quite a list of orders from the festival that need to be filled.”

Finding Laura, Rodney said, “Okay, so what are we doing today?”

Going to her loom, Laura picked up a small device. “We have a portion of the orders that came in that we need to fill. You have a few, starting with some very easy ones and then they slowly get harder, based on the average schedule of advancement that previous students have gone through.”

“Where am I going to do them?” Rodney asked, looking around the fairly crowded space.

Laura rolled her eyes and laughed. “On a hand loom. You didn’t think you were going to get one of the big looms to start with, did you?”

“I didn’t know what to think,” Rodney huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “The details have been rather sparse.”

Laura rolled her eyes again and, as she handed Rodney a loom, Rodney couldn’t help but compare her to Laura Cadman for a second. She showed him how to set up the loom for his first project – a set of napkins – and got him started before listening to the details of her project, a wedding dress.

Rodney found the napkins to be an easy project and sailed through them. The next project – placemats – was a bit trickier, but once he got the hang of it, he sailed through them as well. He also watched Laura’s progress with interest, intrigued with how she made the dress even if he wasn’t completely sure how she did it.

As he and the kids progressed through their projects, Rodney found himself slowly becoming more and more frustrated. Either the thread wouldn’t obey him or his fingers wouldn’t. The kids, on the other hand, seemed to be passing through their assignments with ease and Rodney marveled at their ability.

“It’s just because their fingers are smaller that they move so quickly,” Laura whispered to him, when she caught Rodney growl slightly as he watched Michael and Lisa work on their projects. “They still have to redo much of their work.”

“It’s still frustrating,” Rodney replied. He set his loom aside. “I need to take a break.”

Without waiting for a reply, he left. Not sure where he was going, nevertheless, Rodney wasn’t surprised when he ended up in the caves at the yaks’ pen. One came over to see if he had any treats and to get attention.

“Is everything okay, Rodney-chan?” Kelly asked, concern etched on his face as he came over.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Rodney replied absently, rubbing the yak’s nose. “I’m just frustrated with my work.”

Kelly laughed. “Everyone feels that way at one point or another.”

“I never felt that way,” Rodney replied. “Well, not before. Sure, I got frustrated that the outcome wasn’t what I wanted, but never during the learning process. Not even when I was learning to play the piano. Why can’t I be a healer full-time, like Kirby?”

“Because we still have Kirby,” Kelly replied as he leaned against the fence. “It’s considered bad luck for the apprentice to practice full-time after until the current healer has passed. And Kirby practiced another trade while he was training, as did his apprentice. I’m sure you understand the necessity of everyone pulling their weight here.”

“Really?” Rodney wasn’t sure why he felt so surprised – it did make sense. “I can’t see Kirby as anything other than the healer.”

“He has that effect on a lot of people. So, feeling any better?”

Rodney shrugged. “I’m not looking forward to going back. What if I can’t get the hang of this, Kelly?”

“I’m sure you will, Rodney-chan. I have faith in you.”

“But if I don’t, I can change guilds, right?”

Kelly laughed. “You’re kidding, right?” At Rodney’s glare, he said, “I’m sorry, Rodney-chan, but once you’ve been taken into a guild, there’s no changing guilds unless the circumstances are severe. And, trust me, everyone goes through a panic phase with their training. I know the kids do. I know Jillian did.”

“I doubt you did,” Rodney huffed.

“Oh, I did,” Kelly replied. “Right when I was helping my father deliver a breech birth. But when the calf finally came out okay, I knew that there wasn’t anything else I wanted to do. I know that at some point you’ll hit that moment too.”

Rodney took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I certainly hope so. I’d better go back or Laura will have to come get me and I doubt she’ll be happy about that.” At Kelly’s questioning look, he continued, “When she gets into a groove with her weaving, she hates to be interrupted.”

“Then you better get going,” Kelly replied, waving him off. “And I meant what I said.”

Rodney went back to his weaving with a sigh. Laura didn’t say anything, merely raised an eyebrow as he sat down, and she started weaving her shuttle through another row. Rodney was actually grateful that she didn’t say anything as he resumed his work and found it went much easier.

As they were playing a game of dice after dinner, Jillian said, “Kelly told me you’re having doubts about your training with the silk guild, Rodney.”

“Yes, well,” he started before rolling his dice and smiling at the result while Jillian groaned. “I was assured that such doubts are completely normal and that everyone goes through them at one point or another.” He picked up his dice to roll them again.

Jillian groaned again as Rodney got another high roll. “Did Kelly tell you his was with the breech birth?”

“He did,” Rodney replied as Jillian picked up the dice. “Was he lying or something?”

“Or something,” she said with a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “He tells that story to everyone. It’s almost become lore here. He’s taken a lot of good-natured ribbing for it.”

“What about you?” Rodney asked as Jillian grimaced at the outcome of her roll.

“Oh, my training was completely perfect,” she replied dismissively as she rolled again, huffing at the outcome. “It was afterwards that was the problem. During my first real commission, I had to make a set of glasses and I found out after they had all been finished that each had a hairline fracture that rendered them unusable. I had gone through a lot of hard work and stress to make them –”

“And you were understandably pissed when they had to be remade.” Rodney smiled as his second roll was as good as the first.

“You have no idea. But things got better after that and now I’m easily producing things that I once thought were impossible to make. Given what you’ve said about your previous work, I know you’ll be the same way. I know I can’t begin to know what your old profession was like, but it seems to be much the same – working with your hands and mind to create something of value.” She huffed as her second roll turned out poorly and handed over the dice with a scowl.

“Eh, not quite, but I’m not going to argue,” Rodney replied as he took the dice from her. “But you’re right in that I do enjoy the challenge. And seeing the things that Laura’s working on is amazing. She makes it seem so easy.”

As Rodney rolled another perfect pair, Jillian glared at Rodney and said, “I give up – you win.” She brightened a little as she continued with, “But one of these days you’ll have an apprentice saying the same thing about you.”

“Yeah, that’ll be the day,” he replied dryly as he picked up the dice and they headed into their quarters. “Usually the only things the people under me say are bad things behind my back after they’ve run away either crying or fuming.”

She looked at him perplexed as she knelt by the fire to add some dried dung. “That’s surprising, considering I’ve only heard nice things since you’ve been here.”

“Well,” Rodney replied, shrugging his eyebrows and pursing his lips, “this isn’t exactly my natural environment.”

Kirby entered the room and sank down on his cot with a weary sigh. “Rodney – would you mind going to check on Henry? For some reason, his leg didn’t heal properly from the gash and it’s been giving him some pain.”

“Sure,” Rodney replied, taking the offered medicine bag. “Are you all right?”

“Fine,” Kirby replied, looking at both Rodney and Jillian with a tired smile. “Just starting to feel my age a bit. And Lilly had a difficult birth today. Thankfully, both she and the baby are fine.”

Without another word, Rodney slung the bag over his shoulder and headed out. Both Henry and his wife, Ginny, seemed to be greatly relieved to see him. They asked after Rodney’s health and if he needed anything to drink or eat, both of which Rodney politely declined. It was only once Rodney settled on a stool that Henry broached the subject of his leg.

Rodney listened attentively to Henry’s description of the pain, as well as what Kirby had been doing to treat it. Once Henry was done, Rodney said, “Okay, then. Let’s have a look at it.”

Henry lifted his leg and put his right foot gingerly in Rodney’s lap. Rodney pushed Henry’s pant leg up to reveal a deep red circle in the middle of the outside of his calf. He gently touched around it, and Henry flinched, but didn’t let out a sound. “How long has it been like this?” he asked, looking up at Henry, who looked like he was doing his best to not let on how much it hurt.

“For a while,” Henry admitted. “It was fine after Kirby-sensei originally treated it, but then it started hurting, which never seemed to go away completely. Then this started.”

“It looks like your leg’s abscessing,” Rodney replied, remember seeing Carson treat a Marine with an abscess on his arm once when he was stuck in the infirmary, “which means that somehow it wasn’t totally cleaned out when the glass incident happened. Ginny, I’m going to need some fresh water and any clean rags or cloth that you can spare.”

She nodded and slipped out to retrieve the water.

Rodney gently moved Henry’s leg out of the way so he could get into Kirby’s medicine bag. “Okay, we’re going to need to cut this open and drain it, and then we’ll need to clean it out. Once that’s done, we can see how it looks and go from there.”

Rodney took out a small knife and sterilized it with the juice of one of the plants. To Ginny, who had just reentered, he said, “Okay, I need you to put some of that water over the fire to get warm.”

“Will he be all right?” she asked, concern evident in her voice as she poured some of the water into a clean pot and hung it over the fire.

“I believe so,” Rodney replied as he gratefully accepted the rest of the water and the rags. “Okay, Henry, I’m going to need your leg again.”

Ginny sat down next to Henry as he put his leg back in Rodney’s lap. Rodney carefully sterilized his hands and Henry’s leg before using another plant to numb the area. When everything was ready, he said, “Now, even though the pain is going to be reduced, this is going to hurt and I need you to be as still as possible. If my hand slips because you jerked your leg, this could get worse in a number of different ways.”

Henry nodded mutely and tightened his grip on Ginny’s hand. Rodney placed a steadying hand on Henry’s leg before carefully cutting into the abscess. Almost immediately, pus began draining out. Rodney carefully made sure all the pus was cleaned out of the incision before packing some of the rags inside and against it and then wrapping Henry’s leg.

“Okay,” he said, letting Henry put his leg down and began cleaning up his instruments. “I want you to put a warm compress over the cut and keep your leg up, both of which will help it heal.” Rodney pulled a packet of leaves out of the bag and handed them over to Ginny. “Brew these into a tea and they’ll help heal the cut as well. And I’d like you to change the bandage every few hours to help keep it clean and keep an eye on it. I’ll be by tomorrow to check on you and see how things are going. But let me know right away if anything happens.”

“Thank you very much, Rodney-sensei.” The relief on Henry’s face was enough for Rodney to know that so far things had gone right. The use of the appellation surprised Rodney, but he didn’t comment on it.

“You’re welcome,” Rodney replied as he stood and slung the bag over his shoulder. “I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

Harry was waiting for Rodney when he exited Henry and Ginny’s quarters, a troubled expression on his face.

“What can I do for you, Harry?” Rodney asked as Harry fell in step with him. He hadn’t had much interaction with the lanky teenager, as the two of them lived in different boroughs and worked different trades, but from the little interaction they’d had, he liked him.

“I need to speak with you privately, Rodney-sensei,” Harry replied quietly.

“Okay,” Rodney replied. “Walk with me, then. We can speak in the corridor.” Once they’d gotten far enough away from the common, Rodney stopped and turned to Harry. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, I’ve woken up a few times with…well, with,” he lowered his voice, “with down there hard. Is that normal?”

Rodney tried hard not to laugh. “Yes,” he replied, seriously. “It’s very normal, Harry, and nothing to worry about.”

Harry glanced around them before asking, “Then what should I do about it?”

“Well, you have two options. One is to wait until it goes away. The other option is to masturbate.”

Harry looked at him confused. “M-m-masturbate? What’s that?”

Rodney wiped a hand over his face and sighed. “It’s when you stroke your penis until you orgasm.”

“Does it hurt?” Harry asked, concerned.

“No, it doesn’t. It feels really good, actually.” Rodney tried not to laugh at the oddness of the conversation they were having. “But if other people are around, you probably don’t want to do that. It tends to be viewed as a private thing.”

Harry took a deep breath while he processed everything. “Okay, I think I got it,” he said with a small smile. “Thanks, Rodney-sensei.” He went back to his borough looking more confident than when they had left it.

“How did it go?” Kirby asked when Rodney got back.

“It went fine, though his leg is abscessing,” Rodney replied as he handed the bag back to Kirby. “I opened it up and cleaned it out and gave him some tiri leaves to help with the infection. I’ll go back tomorrow and check on it.”

“That’s good,” Kirby replied. “Though, I don’t know why it could’ve happened.”

“I’m sure it could be any number of reasons – all of them normally harmless,” Rodney replied. “But he’s getting the treatment he needs, so he’ll be fine.”

“Yes, he will,” Kirby replied with a smile. “You’ll make a fine healer one day, Rodney-kun.”

Rodney blushed slightly. “Thank you, Kirby.”

The next day went better and Rodney felt better about his weaving and his progress. And he and Laura laughed quietly when one of the boys had a slight meltdown over the state of his project.

“See, you’re not the only one,” Laura told him quietly.

“Yes, that makes me feel marginally better,” Rodney replied slightly sarcastically. But it did actually make him feel better to know that he wasn’t the only one in that position and that the kids were handling it about the same that he was. They might have actually been handling it a bit worse because after lunch, three of the girls started crying over how things were turning out.

“Just remember this the next time you want to quit,” Laura told him gravely, before letting a smile ruin the seriousness of her tone. “You’ve picked this up quickly and I’m sure you’ll do well – just as you did with your healer training.”

“I’m glad someone has faith in me,” he murmured.

“A lot of us do, Rodney-kun,” she said, her smile warming. “And one of these days you’ll have it in yourself.”

“Should I start keeping a tally of how many trite clichés we’re going to hit today?” Rodney asked sarcastically. “Because if we get any more saccharine, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stand it.”

Laura laughed, but didn’t respond, and they worked quietly for the rest of the afternoon.

That evening after dinner, Rodney went back to check on Henry’s leg. As soon as he stepped into the commons area, Harry was upon him.

“It happened this morning, so I, um, I tried what you suggested,” Harry replied quietly, but he was excited and flushed. “I was careful and quiet – you know, didn’t let anyone see or know I was doing it.”

“Good for you,” Rodney replied cautiously. “And how was it?”

Harry practically glowed. “It was *amazing*. I didn’t know touching myself that way could feel like that. Do I have to wait for that to happen again to do it again?”

Rodney opened his mouth to reply, before quickly shut it again. He knew that his response now had the potential to seriously alter the way the Laprans did things further down the road. And for all he knew, it could already be moving out of hand, depending on who Harry had told and what he had said. Making his decision, he replied, “Yes, yes you do. It’s a very special thing and you don’t want to degrade that. Also, you can’t tell anyone about it. Your parents and the other elders might get mad at you for doing it, and the other kids might get confused.”

Harry looked at him confused. “But if it feels so good –”

Rodney put his hand on Harry’s shoulder and Harry immediately clammed up. “I know how it feels,” he replied quietly. “And I understand your confusion. But, believe me, it’s better this way if you keep it under wraps for now. And you can come to me if you have any other similar questions or concerns, okay?”

Harry nodded. “Okay,” he acquiesced. “I promise. You probably need to be getting to checking up on Henry. I’m sorry to keep you waiting, Rodney-sensei.”

Rodney wasn’t sure why, but he felt bad for clamping down on what would probably be any sexual exploration that the kid would ever know. Taking his hand from Harry’s shoulder, he said, “I didn’t mean it like that, Harry. I just don’t want you getting into any trouble.”

The truth was, Rodney wasn’t even completely sure *what* the Laprans’ take on sex was, since they never talked about it. A few things he could figure out for himself, given the small population, but it was still weird. Even on Atlantis – with its population of approximately two hundred that first year – the topic of sex seemed to come up on a regular basis.

“No, I understand,” Harry added, sounding a little brighter and looking like he just might have an idea brewing. “I’ll see you later, Rodney-sensei.”

Rodney shook his head with a small smile as Harry trotted off and he crossed the commons to Henry and Ginny’s quarters. It seemed like teenagers were the same regardless of the galaxy or planet.

“Henry? Ginny? It’s Rodney.”

Ginny opened the flap for him and smiled as she politely made a shallow bow. “Please, come in, Rodney-sensei.”

Rodney returned the bow and entered. “How are you feeling?” he asked Henry, who was lounging on his cot with his feet propped up, as he crossed over to him.

“Much better, Rodney-sensei,” Henry replied with a grin and a nod of his head. “The pain is almost gone and it doesn’t look nearly as bad as it did this time yesterday.”

“It really does look better,” Ginny added as she brought a stool over for Rodney to sit on. “Do you need anything? Would you like something to eat or drink?”

“No, thank you,” Rodney replied with a smile as he sat down. It still amazed him that the Laprans, who had so little, were so willing to be so generous. “Okay, let’s see that leg, Henry.”

Henry shifted so he could stretch out his leg towards Rodney. Rodney took Henry’s foot in his lap again and pushed up the leg of his pants. The bandage looked clean and there wasn’t an odor, so Rodney took it as a good sign.

“When was the last time you changed this?” he asked, looking at Ginny.

“Not long ago,” Ginny replied. “About two hours. The wound looked good. The waste on the old bandage looked like it was mostly clear and Henry didn’t complain of any pain when I cleaned the wound. He’s also been drinking the tiri tea like you told him to.”

“Good,” Rodney replied. He cleaned his hands before he carefully took off the bandage and inspected the wound, carefully pressing around the wound, but Henry didn’t flinch or try to pull away. The wound did look a lot better and Rodney could tell it was already starting to heal. He replaced the bandage with a clean one that Ginny handed him and said, “It looks good. I want you to do the same thing for the next two days. After that, I want you to keep the wound bandaged and clean until it heals completely, but you’ll be able to move around after that.” Handing over some more leaves, he said, “And here’s some more tiri leaves. I want you to keep drinking this as a tea until you’ve completely exhausted them, okay?”

“Thank you, Rodney-sensei,” Ginny replied with a relieved grin. “There’s no way we could thank you enough.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Rodney said as he packed up the medical supplies. “I’m glad I could help.” To Henry, he said, “In three days, I want you to come by and let Kirby check you out, okay?”

“Okay,” Henry replied with a nod. “Thank you, Rodney-sensei.”

Rodney took his leave and headed back to his borough, feeling good about what he had done. But on the way, he felt a niggling in the back of his mind that there was something he was forgetting. He worked his way back over the evening to figure out what it was, but nothing pinged until he went over his conversation with Harry. He hadn’t given Atlantis any thought in – he went back further in his memories – in… he wasn’t quite sure when and he felt guilty for not doing so.

When he reached his borough, Rodney silently handed Kirby’s medicine bag back to him and told him what had transpired with Henry at Kirby’s prompting. He was grateful that neither Kirby nor Jillian pressed him to talk any further and that Kelly was nowhere to be found.

He went into their quarters and sat down with his back against his cot, drew his legs into a half-lotus, and placed his hands in his lap. Rodney took a few calming breaths as he stared at the floor just beyond his legs.

He knew for a fact that they had given up looking for him and found that that thought didn’t hurt as much as it once might’ve. It was understandable, really. He had been gone for a little over twenty months now and they couldn’t keep expending their resources, regardless of how much they might need him. John probably would’ve searched longer, Rodney was sure, but even after a period of time he would’ve faced reality and stopped as well. Elizabeth probably would’ve had to declare him either MIA or KIA, though the SGC probably had their own designation for situations like this.

Rodney wondered what they were doing and how they were faring. Had Teyla, Ronon, and John found a replacement for their team, or were they going out as a three-man team? Had Elizabeth forced them to find a fourth member of their team? Would she? Were they even still around? Rodney had always snickered when people mentioned knowing deep down whether or not someone close to them had passed, thinking that it was just their desire to cling to a desperate hope, but right now, knowing the odds that Atlantis had against the Wraith, even he, at his most cynical, couldn’t believe that they were gone.

He wished he knew for certain how they were doing – just to ease his mind. He’d have to ask again if he could go back, even for a visit under guard, or – at the very least – to send some sort of letter through and allow another one to come back. He hated knowing that they, or at the very least John, had held on to hope that he had somehow survived considering their uncharacteristically good odds at surviving, but didn’t know what had happened to him. He let out a breath slowly, determined to request some sort of contact with Atlantis.

Rodney ended up having to wait a few days to find the right opportunity to ask Jean about making contact with Atlantis. In the interim, Kirby pronounced Henry’s leg to be healing excellently and praised Rodney highly for the job he did on it. Kirby also had Rodney shoulder a bit more of the load. Rodney was surprised at the amount of people who needed some form of medical care, even though he knew in the back of his mind that, statistically speaking, a diverse population could present anything and it seemed that against all odds, the Laprans were doing just that. Plus, there was also the tenth-month festival to factor in with all of the various germs, bacteria, viruses, infections, and who-knows-what-else being passed around between the different tribes.

Rodney also had a number of people come up to him and ask him intimate questions or for relationship advice. He figured that Harry had something to do with it, since he doubted that they all would’ve come up with it on their own at the same time. He was surprised at the array of questions he was asked – some of it for very basic information – and wondered why the Laprans weren’t given more detailed information. There had to be a better alternative to no information at all while still keeping certain behaviors in check.

“What can I do for you, Rodney-kun?” Jean asked with a warm smile as he sat down next to her at lunch one day.

“I need to ask something of you,” he replied, fiddling with his spoon. “I would like to contact Atlantis to let them know I’m okay and see how they’re doing.”

The smile disappeared and a look of trepidation crossed her face. “I don’t think you’ll be able to do that, Rodney. You know our rules.”

“Why not?” he asked. “I promise to not try to return to them or let any of them through. Besides, if they were planning to come through with the intent to harm they would’ve already done it. That’s how I got here in the first place, remember? I just –” he let out a breath, “I just want to see how they’re doing and make sure that they’re okay. They were the first real family I had, considering my blood relations didn’t want me, so…” He trailed off, not sure how to get across that he missed them and simply wanted to know that they were okay.

Jean sighed. “We’ve never made an exception, Rodney. You seem to grasp our need for safety better than most.”

“I know that. But I would think that since I’ve been here for two full cycles and you all know me that you would believe me when I say that I just want to get in touch with them.”

“And we do know and trust you, Rodney-kun,” she replied, her look softening. “We wouldn’t accept you as our next healer if we didn’t.”

“Then –”

Jean held up a hand and Rodney stopped talking. “I’ll speak to the other elders and to Kirby and see what they say. I’ll let you know, all right?”

Rodney nodded mutely. “Okay,” he replied. “Thank you, Jean.”

That evening as they finished dinner, Kelly asked, “Dice or staffs, Rodney-chan?”

Rodney shrugged. “I could go for either.”

“Okay, let me rephrase then. Which do you prefer for talking?”

“Heavy talking or light talking?” Rodney asked, knowing Kelly’s penchant for keeping the two as separate as possible.

“Heavy-ish,” Kelly replied.

“Let’s go for the staffs then.” Rodney grinned. “That way you can beat the crap out of me if you don’t like my answers.”

Kelly shook his head as he took a hold of the edge of the curtain. “Your sense of humor is definitely something else, Rodney-chan. Give me a moment to get my staff.”

Rodney grabbed his own staff before heading out into the commons. He was curious what Kelly needed to talk to him about. The thought that he’d decided on someone to propose to and was going to take the plunge flitted by, but Rodney quickly squashed that idea – he would have definitely heard about it before now.

The two men walked down to the practice cave quietly and Rodney was somewhat happy that it was empty when they arrived. He hoped it would stay that way until they finished.

After they went through their warm up, Rodney asked, “So, what’s up?”

“Are you happy here?” Kelly asked as they began their practice.

Rodney thought about it for a moment. “I am,” he replied truthfully as they went through their forms. “There are a few things I’d do differently if I had come here of my own free will, but yes, I am. Why?”

“I heard you ask Jean about talking to your people from Atlantis. And I thought that you might be trying to leave.”

“Well, that would be the optimum goal,” Rodney admitted, “but I’ll settle – and started out with – asking to be allowed to see if they’re okay and let them know I am.” It suddenly hit him and he took a step back. “You’re afraid I’m going to leave you, aren’t you?”

Kelly shrugged, defeated, not looking at Rodney. “It’s not so hard to see why, though, is it? My first bond friend was sent to marry a Morykon. My second bond friend is from beyond the Ring and, understandably, wants to go home. I’m over thirty cycles and I’ve not been married. It’s not so hard to see why I’m worrying, is it?”

“No, it’s not,” Rodney replied, leaning on his staff. “If it’s any consolation, it really isn’t personal. I like you a lot and I’m honored that you want me as your bond friend. It’s just that it’s getting to the point where I need closure on that part of my life if I’m going to be able to live here happily. I don’t have to leave to do it, I just need to talk to them.”

“None of us ever did take an interest in where you were from, did we?” Kelly asked softly. “I remember you spoke of them often in the beginning, though.”

“In a way, it’s understandable, though,” Rodney replied. “You’re in a precarious situation here and too many changes at one time could severely mess things up.”

“But we haven’t changed anything in generations until you had us stand up to the Korsans.”

“Which I’m glad I did – you all should have done that a long time ago.” Rodney didn’t admit that sometimes he did worry that the Korsans would find a way to retaliate and come down hard on them.

“Rodney,” Jillian’s voice called from the entrance to the cave and both men turned to look at her. “There’s someone here to see you.”

Rodney shrugged his eyebrows and let out a sigh. “Sorry,” he told Kelly apologetically.

“It’s okay,” Kelly replied with a small smile as they headed up. “You’re the healer’s apprentice. I guess I should start expecting this.”

Charlie was waiting for Rodney when they emerged, an anxious look on his face and his hands clenched together.

“What can I do for you?” Rodney asked as he met Charlie and they walked to a secluded spot along the wall.

“I was hoping you could give me some advice,” Charlie replied and Rodney looked at him expectantly. “I would like to know how to better please my wife.”

Rodney blinked for a moment before replying, “Well, there are a lot of ways you can do that. Why don’t the two of you come by tomorrow after dinner and we’ll discuss it?”

Charlie looked relieved and said, “Thank you, Rodney-sensei. We will see you tomorrow.”

Kirby watched Rodney as Charlie left and he went over to get a drink of water. “Everyone seems to be taking to you very well,” he commented.

“I know, it’s surprising,” Rodney replied. “Back on Atlantis, I wasn’t so good with people.”

“I’m glad that my expectations for you are coming to fruition. I knew you would do well in this role.”

Rodney smiled slightly as he sat down at Kirby’s feet.

“You aren’t letting your past hold you back from your present, are you?” Kirby asked and Rodney knew that this was the moment he had been subconsciously waiting for.

“No,” Rodney replied. “I simply think that it would be good for me to get in contact with my friends to let them know I’m okay. And I need to know that they’re okay.”

“But you know why we can’t let you do that, right?”

Rodney sighed inwardly and fixed his gaze on the floor in front of him as he said, “Yes, Kirby, I do.”

“Now, tomorrow, I want you to do Lillian and her baby’s check-up. She asked for you specifically.”

Rodney agreed automatically, as he felt his chest tighten. He took a steadying breath and slowly released it. It wouldn’t do him any good to throw a tantrum about something they felt justified in doing. But it still stung knowing that they, who seemed to be all about living in the now and letting go of the past weren’t allowing him the ability to do so himself.

“Okay,” Kelly said, settling himself on the floor next to Rodney. “We have a few things we need to rectify.”

“Such as?” Rodney asked, not looking up as he worked on refilling some of the plants and other necessary items in Kirby’s bag.

“Such as the fact that you don’t know any of the ceremonies. Okay, mainly that.”

“And why am I learning them now if I haven’t already done so in the past two and a quarter cycles?”

“Because it was a gross oversight on the part of Kirby and me. Normally, these things are taught at various stages in a young Lapran’s life. You know that we don’t exactly get a lot of adults living here from the outside except through marriage – which is where most adult newcomers learn the ceremonies, or our variations if their home has an equivalent. So, let’s just say that we weren’t expecting to have to deal with you.”

“So, what sorts of ceremonies do I have to learn?” Rodney asked as he put the finished bag aside and folded his hands in his lap.

“Let’s see. Kirby will be teaching you the ceremonies for bindings, marriage, birth, death. I’ll be teaching you the tea ceremony, as well as how we go about public fights – which is one way we settle disputes, though it’s hardly used. A lot of the ‘ceremonies’ are also just in the way we do things – such as food preparation, bathing and dressing before a big event, and meditation. I think there’s even one for doing the silk – but you’ll have to ask Laura about that.”

“Okay, so when do we start?”

“I think we should start as soon as possible. Most of it will go fairly quickly, but some things, like the tea ceremony, you’ll need time to learn so you’ll have it down before you have to use it. We’re not sticklers for a lot of things, but the tea ceremony is one of few things we are big on.”

“I haven’t seen it done a whole lot,” Rodney disclosed.

“It usually isn’t done out in the open very much,” Kelly admitted. “It can be a somewhat… intimate activity between friends.”

“Why don’t we get started tonight?” Rodney asked. “I have to get a bath tonight anyway, so if it isn’t sacrilegious, we could get that out of the way then.”

Kelly smiled, amused. “It’s not sacrilegious if the mistakes are made unintentionally.” He stood. “Come on, get your things together and we’ll go down to the pools now. We can get two things done at once and I’ll go over the dressing with you as well.”

Rodney stood and ducked into his quarters. He laid Kirby’s medicine bag on his cot before grabbing his towel, soap, and some clean clothes from the baskets beneath his. When he reentered the commons, Kelly also had his bathing accoutrements and they headed down to the pools. As they reached the pools, Lillian was finishing up with her daughter and they exchanged pleasantries.

“She’s getting big,” Rodney said as Leah grabbed his finger and waved it about happily as she gurgled and smiled at the adults.

“She is,” Lillian agreed. “She eats everything in sight and grows almost too fast for us to keep her in clothes. I’m glad the other parents have been so generous with their old garments.”

Leah suddenly pitched forward and Rodney was forced to drop his things and take her from Lillian. Leah gave a squeak of joy and burrowed against Rodney, clutching his shirt. Rodney looked back and forth between Lillian and Kelly, completely surprised at the turn of events even as he cradled her against his chest.

“Wow,” Lillian said, surprised. “She hasn’t done that before. She’s usually shy of anyone that’s not her father or I.”

“She must know you delivered her, Rodney-chan,” Kelly said, completely amused with the situation. “They say that’s one of the few bonds that can never be broken.”

“I don’t know about that,” Rodney muttered sarcastically as Leah snuggled a little closer and sniffed before letting out a large yawn.

“I better take her home and put her to bed,” Lillian said, gently scooping Leah out of Rodney’s arms. “Goodnight, you two.”

“Goodnight,” both Rodney and Kelly replied.

Once she had left, Kelly said, “Okay, let’s get to it.” He went over to the pool, put his things down nearby and began stripping, his back to Rodney. Rodney watched him, mouth slightly agape. “What are you waiting for?” Kelly asked, not looking back at Rodney.

“I just – I… that is –” Rodney stammered. “Nothing,” he finally managed before stooping down to retrieve his fallen items.

He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but he honestly hadn’t expected Kelly to just start stripping in front of him. He felt his face flush and quickly pushed the unexpected wave of hormones back. This couldn’t happen here. He had resigned himself to a life of celibacy before; this place wasn’t any different than Siberia, Antarctica, or Atlantis in the beginning. He could manage. Even if Kelly was unintentionally tantalizing him and mocking him with the knowledge that he was never going to have anything like that ever again – from someone of either gender.

Rodney quickly placed his things next to Kelly’s, stripped completely and slipped into the water. “Happy now?” he grumbled.

“Ecstatic,” Kelly replied cheekily and splashed Rodney. He turned serious. “The purpose of what we call ritual bathing is to symbolically cleanse ourselves from any negativity, wrongness, whatever you want to call it. As you bathe, be mindful of what you’re cleansing yourself for and make sure that your motives and intentions are pure for what you’re about to do.”

“That sounds surprisingly easy,” Rodney commented.

“It is,” Kelly replied, picking his feet up and using his hands to keep his balance as he floated in the water. “I keep forgetting that you aren’t familiar with our ways. The other tribes we deal with are similar enough that even though there are differences, it’s easy enough for us to understand each other.” Standing up, he said, “We better get washed and get out before anyone else comes in. That way, I can show you how to dress.”

They washed quickly and efficiently. After they had gotten out and dried themselves, Kelly, naked and without what seemed to be any sort of modesty, turned to Rodney, who was tying his towel around his waist, and said, “Okay, let’s get started with the ritual dressing.” He put his hands on his hips and said, amusedly, “I never took you for being that modest, Rodney-chan.”

“Then you must not know me as well as you think you do,” Rodney retorted, clutching at the towel and thinking how insane this lesson had suddenly become. “Oh, could you just put some clothes on, please?”

“Okay,” Kelly replied with a huff as he grabbed an article of clothing. “I’ll show you what to do as I dress, then you can do it.”

“Fair enough,” Rodney allowed, pulling himself up straight and gathering whatever dignity he could muster.

As he started dressing, Kelly said, “The principles are the same as when you’re bathing. But, as you’re dressing, you don’t rush and you’re thinking about what you’re about to do and how you can bring your best to it so that it will be edifying for everyone involved.”

Rodney fought the urge to roll his eyes. “There seems to be a lot of hype for this stuff and not a lot of bang for your buck.”

Kelly paused in fastening his shirt for a moment to process what Rodney said. “I guess you’re right.” He shrugged and resumed dressing. “But you can’t knock it if it works. Are you going to get dressed?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Rodney replied dryly, picking up his pants. “I do appreciate you doing this for me.”

“You’re welcome. Come over for dinner tomorrow and we can start with the food preparation rituals.”

“Okay.” Rodney shrugged on his shirt and fastened it.

As they left, Kelly chuckled and said, “You’re starting to look and act as if you’ve been here longer than you have.”

Rodney laughed. “I’m sure I already sound like it. Wouldn’t it be interesting to see what my old friends would think of me now?”

Kelly sobered. “I’m sorry that the elders didn’t allow you to contact them. I’m sure it must be hard for you to not be able to have any sort of contact with them – even once since you’ve gotten here.”

“Thank you,” Rodney replied. “It’s gotten better – doesn’t hurt quite as much when I think about them.”

“Still… To be cut off completely from your people – I can’t fathom it. Your ability to adjust amazes me.”

“Well, considering some of the things I’ve seen and done – coping becomes an essential skill or you go crazy.” He sighed. “Look, I don’t want to sound rude, since I appreciate the concern, but I don’t really want to talk about it anymore.”

“All right, Rodney-chan,” Kelly acquiesced. “If you do, remember I’m here for you.”

“Thanks,” Rodney replied, suddenly very weary and depressed. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

Kelly nodded as they parted ways and Rodney went into his quarters. He held up a hand and said, “Please, not tonight,” to Jillian.

She snapped her mouth shut without saying a word and nodded before returning to her work.

Rodney put his things away and crawled into bed, pulling the blanket up over himself and turning to the wall. He took a couple deep breaths to get his emotions in check. The unexpected reminder that he was stuck here had hurt more than he had been expecting, considering he and Kirby had already worked through a lot of it. But one unrelated emotion wouldn’t go away. The sight of Kelly standing in front of him naked and completely comfortable, or probably even unaware of the effect he might be having on Rodney, had hit Rodney hard and he had been surprised that he was able to keep his body in check the whole time.

The rush of lust he had felt had surprised him. Rodney had gotten so used to running on autopilot when it came to his sexual needs that he hadn’t expected anything to happen when Kelly got undressed – going on missions with Ronon worked wonders in that area. (John, on the other hand, was a completely different story.) Add in the fact that Rodney hadn’t ever felt anything even remotely romantic or close to some sort of attraction for Kelly, and the hormones had been a complete surprise to Rodney.

When he had first realized he was attracted to John, he had asked Heightmeyer about it. She had calmly stated that sometimes that was due to a bond forged by a shared crisis, and God knew they’d had enough of those. She had then added that it could also be due to being able to get comfortable in the friendship and that it was a subconscious way that the body dealt with figuring out when it was safe to form attachments and find a mate.

Rodney sighed. He didn’t want to form this sort of attachment; he wanted to keep things the way they currently were with Kelly. While had always self-identified as mostly gay, but open to women if the right one, namely Lt. Col. Samantha Carter, was interested, he had, from time to time, sincerely considered a family and the whole nine yards. But he wasn’t stupid enough to think that seeing if it was possible for him to marry into the Laprans’ population would cure this attraction. He sighed again. He really didn’t want to screw things up.

But his body was hearing none of that at the moment and his cock was starting to stir at the memory of a naked Kelly, who then morphed into a naked John.

Rodney gave in at that point and rolled so he was mostly on his stomach, giving himself barely enough room to take care of himself. He jerked off quickly and without any finesse, biting his lower lip in an effort to make sure he stayed quiet. It was over almost as quickly as it had started, his body rushing towards a long overdue climax. When he finished, he quickly licked his hand clean and burrowed into the cot, his sated body thrumming in contentment and his mind, for the time being, going quiet.

The next morning while they were eating breakfast, Kirby told Rodney, “I’ve spoken with Laura, Matthew, and Lucy, and you’re going to be staying home today for at least the morning to work on some of the ceremonies you need to know.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied. “Why didn’t I learn them before?”

“Because the ceremonies usually aren’t taught with the practical, everyday medical knowledge. We feel that they need a certain amount of maturity in order to be taken in with the dignity that they deserve. I was assessing whether you were at that point or not.”

“And if I wasn’t?” Rodney asked, doubtfully.

Kirby shrugged. “We would have waited. We’ll start once everyone else has left for the day.”

After he finished eating, Rodney spent some time meditating on his own, telling Kirby he needed to work some things through on his own. In general, Kirby had been mediating his sessions less and less of late which Rodney was thankful for, and Rodney was surprised at how easily he had been able to continue what Kirby had taught him.

As he breathed deeply, Rodney shut everything else out and concentrated on his breath, feeling himself become detached from his surroundings. In front of him appeared a white board and some dry-erase markers. Rodney picked one up and fiddled with it as he stared at the white board.

He stared at it for a while, not sure where to begin. He finally sighed and set down the marker before leaning back against the lab table behind him. Crossing his arms, he continued to stare at the white board, silently begging it for inspiration or information or both.

He knew he’d be able to function with Kelly without Kelly knowing about his feelings for him and hopefully, unlike Rodney’s feelings for John, they would go away at some point. He could do this, he told himself. He could be a good, normal, and in no way deviant member of their society. He needed ask Kirby about his chances of getting married.

Feeling himself starting to lose control at the uncertainty of his prospects, Rodney took a few deep breaths and pulled himself back together. This wasn’t a real crisis. He could get through this without going insane. This really wasn’t any different than learning how to cope at the SGC with all of the military personnel. He had denied one of the essential parts of himself before, he could do it again. He would just have to make sure that the predominant part of himself stayed buried deeply and he’d stay focused on anything that could help him cope. Rodney carefully boxed up the image of Kelly and pushed it far back in his mind, next to his feelings for John.

When he came out of his meditative state, Kirby nodded once and said, “How are you doing on your own?”

“Good, I think,” Rodney replied. “Time will tell, right?”

Kirby nodded as he picked up his things. “Let’s go outside and I’ll begin your instruction.”

Rodney stood and followed him, grabbing his stool on the way. “Has there ever been any discussion about adding more tribes to your little cabal, or just generally opening it up?” he asked.

“There have been a few times over the generations,” Kirby replied. “But, we feel that things are precarious enough as it is and to allow too much freedom may doom us to not being suited for our environment.”

“Even if the opposite also dooms you in the long run?”

Kirby grimaced. “We have been starting to seriously consider taking on others to help ease our predicament, but it’s hard to figure out the best course of action.”

Rodney bit his cheek and didn’t say anything as he thought of Carson. With his lab and his ability, it would be so easy for him to help them out. And Rodney knew that they’d never be willing to utilize that option. Finally, he managed, “So. Where do we start?”

Kirby thought for a moment. “I think we will start with marriage. The marriages for our people, as well as those of the Morykons and the Nagdalis, are arranged in the desire of continuing our existence as distinct peoples for as long as possible.”

“But,” Rodney interrupted, “after a while, the three tribes will become mixed enough that they would technically be only one people, right?”

“This is possible,” Kirby replied, “but we have been careful to make sure we preserve our peoples’ integrity throughout the years. Now, the process itself begins when a couple comes to me and expresses an interest in finding a spouse for their son or daughter. I then begin searching through the scrolls to find a suitable partner. If one doesn’t exist among our people, I will then get permission from the parents to search among either the Morykons or the Nagdalis and then move to the other tribe if the situation warrants it.”

Rodney frowned, knowing the odds of it happening at least some of the time. “What if a match can’t be found between any of the tribes?”

Kirby sighed as he shrugged. “This has happened in very rare cases. In such instances, I will then tell the family, and they have to accept it. It isn’t always easy for them to accept, but that’s the way it is.”

Rodney squirmed slightly on his stool and asked, “What if they decide to take matters into their own hands and set something up anyway?”

Kirby shook his head. “No one will have them. It’s a fact of life here, Rodney-chan. There are times when the weak spots are taken out to make the whole stronger. I’m sure you’ve seen that in your native land.”

“I have,” Rodney replied. It still amazed him how knowledgeable the Laprans were about the natural world they inhabited, even though they were the equivalent of a Middle Age farming community, when it came to technology and completely illiterate, Kirby’s pictograph scrolls aside. Getting them back on track, Rodney continued, “So, once a suitable match has been found, then what?”

“I’ll set up a meeting between the two families to present the offer and if they’re willing, the two young people will begin courting.”

Rodney let out an incredulous bark of laughter. “Courting? That’s just – wow.” At Kirby’s surprised, and slightly shocked, look, Rodney waved his hand and said, “Never mind. My native land has very different views of courtship.”

“So I see,” Kirby replied primly. “The courtship process is utilized to make sure that the potential bride and bridegroom are compatible and will have a successful marriage. It’s also a time in which the families will make sure that the person marrying into their family is up to their standards.” Anticipating Rodney’s question, he continued, “There have been times when things don’t work out, and at that point I’ll have to start over. But it works most of the time. Traditionally, the couple will know by their fifth or sixth date whether or not they want to get married, though there have been exceptions. At that point, it’s in the hands of the families to prepare everything. I, of course, do the ceremony itself, but everything else is handled by the families. If one member of the couple is either Morykon or Nagdali, arrangements are made to help facilitate the process.”

“I can’t imagine getting married after five dates,” Rodney commented. “I know, I know – different situations and all.”

“And they do have their whole lives to get to know each other. The ceremony is a simple one where the couple exchanges vows to support each other throughout their lives and gifts are exchanged between the couple and with the family. And afterwards is a feast.”

“I was curious, Kirby,” Rodney started and paused, figuring now was as good a time as any to ask, before continuing on in a rush, “I was wondering if it would be possible for me to get married?”

Kirby looked surprised. “It should be okay. You’ve been taken into the community and become a supportive member, so I don’t see a problem. I’ll have to get information from you and we’ll have to talk to the elders about it. Did you have someone in mind?”

“No. I was just thinking about it the other day and was curious.” Going back to the original topic, he added, “So, about nine months after the wedding, there’s a baby. What do you do then? Aside from deliver the baby.”

Kirby looked at him perplexed. “We don’t do anything. While we value the baby’s life, we don’t see the need to go any further than that. I take it your people do?”

Rodney nodded. “There’s a few different ceremonies – usually to dedicate the baby to the parents’ faith, depending on where the family is from or what they believe in. What’s next on the agenda?”

“Next is death. If there is a question about whether the person is actually dead, someone will sit up with the body for a day or two to make sure the person really is gone. Once that fact has been established, I’ll prepare the body by embalming it and then wrap it in a shroud. From there, the deceased person’s family takes body out into the sand to be buried. A memorial service is then held in memory of the deceased.”

Rodney furrowed his brow in confusion. “But between the sand, heat, and the embalming processes, aren’t things a little… crowded out there?”

“Many who marry off-world tend to be buried there as well. And the embalming fluids are simply to keep the body from decaying too rapidly until we get a chance to bury the body. Once the sandstorm picks back up and starts shifting the sand around, it’s not really a problem, is it?”

“I guess not,” Rodney murmured. “These ceremonies aren’t much different than what I had back in my native land.”

“It seems that most places have some things in common, regardless of how dissimilar they are in other respects.”

“What about the binding ceremony?” Rodney asked, suddenly remembering it.

Kirby shrugged. “As you saw, it’s much like a wedding ceremony – though there are some differences, such as rings instead of ear cuffs. And it’s a quickly done affair with only the families as witnesses.”

“Why didn’t you do it?” Rodney asked.

“Because I was standing as part of your family – as you will have to do for any ceremony involving myself or Jillian, unless circumstances prevent it. In those cases, the borough elder will perform the ceremony. And don’t worry about the words right now. We’ll go over those later on.” He stood. “Let me go get my scroll and we’ll put you on it so it’ll be ready when you find someone.”

That evening, Rodney made his way over to Kelly’s quarters. Kirby’s questions had tired him out more than he had expected and had been more thorough than any of his doctors’. And the whole time Kirby was questioning him, he added minute details either to or around the figure he had drawn in his family unit to signify Rodney. When they finished, Kirby looked pleased and told him that he’d make a good match for their people.

Kelly’s father came out of the quarters as Rodney got close enough to announce his presence and gave him a shallow bow. “Hello, Rodney-sensei. How are you?”

“Well, thank you,” Rodney replied with a short bow of his own. “How are you, Kelly-san?”

“I am well also,” Kelly-san replied with a smile. “I consider every day I’m still breathing to be a good one.”

Rodney laughed. “That’s a very good attitude to have, Kelly-san. Is Kelly-chan here?”

Kelly-san bobbed his head. “He is. He’s inside preparing dinner and a tea ceremony from the looks of it. I hope the two of you enjoy your evening.” He looked over Rodney’s shoulder and, with an amused smile, said quieter, “You may want to be careful. It looks like you have an admirer.”

Rodney partially turned and looked over his shoulder, brows furrowed. The girl in question blushed and dropped her gaze as one of the girls sitting with her leaned in and murmured something in her ear. She was pretty and, he guessed, about half-way between himself and Jillian in age. Turning back to Kelly-san, he said, “That’s, um –.” He blanked on her name. “Who is it?”

Kelly-san smiled, amused. “That’s Jaelyn, daughter of Keith and Jessica. She’s in the glass guild. And she’s single.”

Rodney’s eyebrows climbed and he sputtered, “I don’t –. You don’t seriously –?”

Kelly-san chuckled. “I’m simply relaying the facts. You’re the one going to certain conclusions. Have a good evening.”

Rodney watched him walk off, slightly flabbergasted, before giving the top of Jaelyn’s head a quick glare and going into Kelly’s quarters. “I think someone’s stalking me,” he said.

“Stalking you, Rodney-chan?” Kelly asked with a laugh as he looked up from the food he was preparing. “What do you mean?”

“Jaelyn. Your father just caught her staring at me while I was talking to him outside and now that I think about it, I think I’ve seen her watching me before.”

“She could just be interested,” Kelly placated. “You’re a foreigner and she could be interested.”

“It’s been over two cycles since I’ve gotten here and she hasn’t said much more than a ‘hello’ or two in the interim? That’s not interested in a foreigner, that’s stalking.”

Kelly put the utensils down and covered his face with his hands before laughing heartily. “Watching you in the commons is not stalking you, Rodney-chan. She has a harmless crush, that’s all.”

“That’s how they all start,” Rodney huffed as he sat down on the opposite side of the fire pit from Kelly. “So, let’s get started.”

“Huffy tonight, aren’t we?” Kelly commented dryly, but still amused. “Tonight I’ve prepared one of the tea ceremonies so you can experience it before I start teaching them to you. Now, take a few deep breaths and center yourself. Leave whatever you think is going on with Jaelyn until we’re done.”

Rodney did as he was told and felt himself centering as Kelly’s voice droned on, telling him about the ceremony and lulling him into a relaxed state. When the food was ready, they ate in silence before Kelly continued the ceremony by making the tea. Rodney enjoyed watching very specific order of the ceremony and found it soothing.

“Thank you,” Rodney said when they were done, his mind still quiet and centered.

“You’re welcome, Rodney-chan,” Kelly replied with a small smile as he carefully cleaned and put everything away. Once everything was put away, he sat down next to Rodney. “Now, about Jaelyn.”

“What about her?” Rodney asked, eyes narrowing slightly.

“I think you should talk to her. That way you’ll know for sure she’s not stalking you. And the two of you might hit it off. You could do much worse for yourself here.”

Rodney’s eyes widened. “You – you –” He gaped at Kelly. “You think the two of us –?”

“People don’t start looking if they’re not interested in that. And you’ve got a lot of things going for you.”

Rodney opened his mouth to start protesting again, but quickly shut it. After a moment of pulling his thoughts together, he said, “I’ll think about it.”

“Good,” Kelly replied with a slightly sad smile and a quick nod.

“But, if for some reason I do go through with this insane idea, we’re going to fix you up next. I don’t want to be going through this alone.”

Kelly laughed heartily. “Since when have you ever done anything alone here, Rodney-chan?”

“Well, that’s true. You all do have an interesting take on the communal aspect of village life. But I’m serious about finding you someone, Kelly. You’re a great guy and you definitely deserve someone to love you much more than I do.”

Kelly blushed and deflected by saying, “Let’s get you situated first. I have a feeling it’s going to take a lot to help you get through this, so I want to worry about that before we start dealing with me. We’ll start tomorrow. I want you to introduce yourself to her.”

“Will that be okay? I don’t want to –”

“It’ll be fine,” Kelly cut him off. “Everyone usually knows everyone else here almost from birth, so you’ll be given certain allowances in that area. And it’s been known to happen where a couple gets matched because they ask their parents to approach Kirby on their behalf. It doesn’t always work out, but they accept Kirby’s pronouncement if it doesn’t.”

“That’s got to hurt, though,” Rodney grimaced. “Has it happened to you?”

Kelly shook his head. “There’s never been anyone I’ve been interested enough in.”

“I’m surprised no one’s made a bid for you either.”

“A few have, actually,” Kelly replied with a wince. “It never panned out, though, for one reason or another. But, tomorrow – you’re going to talk to Jaelyn and then we’ll go from there.”

“What are we going to talk about?” Rodney asked uneasily.

“Anything. But *do not* mention the ‘stalking’. If you do, I will inflict bodily harm the next time we practice.”

Rodney laughed. “I doubt you could. Okay, tomorrow I’ll try. What do you know about her, aside from her name, guild, parentage, and that she’s been watching me?”

“Jaelyn has a quick mind and she’s always been curious, but I doubt that’ll be a problem for you. Her bond friend is Jennifer – she has dark brown hair. They’re practically inseparable, so you better make friends with her too.” He looked like he was about to say something but changed his mind. “I think you’ll do fine,” he said with a certain amount of finality as his father came back in.

“I think we’re going to have a new calf tomorrow,” Kelly-san said with a smile. “And it looks to be an easy birth.”

“That’s good,” Kelly replied with a smile. To Rodney, he said, “We’ve been worried about this one. The last birth didn’t go so well for her.”

“How did things go?” Kelly-san asked.

“Good,” Kelly replied. “I think Rodney shouldn’t have a problem picking this up. Unlike some other things.” He grinned slyly at Rodney before continuing, “He’s going to talk to Jaelyn tomorrow.”

“Good luck with that,” Kelly-san said to Rodney. “And maybe then you can help Kelly-chan find someone. His mother would have conniptions if she knew he’d gone this long without giving her grandchildren.”

“*Dad*,” Kelly replied, blushing and looking embarrassed. After a moment, he said to Rodney, “She died in childbirth. I never knew her.”

“I’m sorry,” Rodney replied. There was a quiet lull in the conversation before Rodney stood. “I better get going. I’m sure you both have things you need to do to get ready for tomorrow.”

Kelly stood as well. “Remember what I told you.”

Rodney nodded. “I will.” He bad them goodnight and went back to his quarters, nervous about what the next day would bring. When he entered, Jillian was beaming. “What’s going on?” he asked, amused.

“Jasmine and I are going to become bond friends,” she beamed. “Will you do the ceremony?”

Rodney glanced at Kirby, unsure. At Kirby’s nod, he grinned and replied, “Sure. That’s great news. When did you want to do the ceremony?”

She looked at him tentatively as he sat down. “Could we do it tomorrow after dinner?”

“Is that too soon?” Rodney asked Kirby, who shook his head.

“Tomorrow will be fine,” he said. “I’ve already questioned them and they have my blessing as well as the blessing of Jasmine’s parents.”

“Why wasn’t I questioned?” Rodney asked.

“Because I already knew the answers from our meditations together, and I talked to Kelly on my own.”

“And Kelly-san?” Rodney asked, furrowing his brow.

“He said he trusted Kelly’s judgment and wouldn’t go any further.”

Rodney licked his lips before changing the subject and asking, “I need advice on how to approach Jaelyn.”

Both Kirby and Jillian grinned, though Jillian’s was a bit more reserved. “I figured you singling out a young woman wouldn’t be far behind those questions you asked me,” Kirby replied.

“Actually, it’s just a coincidence,” Rodney replied. “I was merely curious when you brought the subject up and today was the first time I had really noticed that she was watching me.” He shrugged a shoulder. “So I thought I’d at least talk to her and see what happens.”

“I think that the two of you will make a good match,” Kirby replied.

“Can I go over to Jasmine’s?” Jillian asked as she stood.

“Sure, just don’t stay too late.” Kirby and Rodney watched her go, Kirby shaking his head in amusement. “I think you just made her month.”

“Is there a set date when people get bound?” Rodney asked.

“Not really,” Kirby replied. “And it’s not a necessary ceremony either – some people never become bound – for various reasons.”

“What about you?” Rodney asked.

“Am I? No, I’m not. I was once, but then he was taken by the Korsans and I never found anyone else I wanted to bind with. I still wear the cuff in remembrance, though.”

“And Jillian’s mother?” Rodney asked quietly.

Kirby pursed his lips before replying, “She died giving birth to a younger child – a boy.” He paused and looked away before finally saying, “I hope you find a love like what I felt for her.” He paused again and Rodney could see Kirby pull himself together. “Now, about the ceremony tomorrow.”

At lunch the next day, Rodney took a deep, if shaky, breath after getting his food. Kelly had come to talk with him during breakfast and he, Kirby, and Jillian helped him go over what he should say and do – which helped to allay his nervousness, while at the same time sharpening the idea of what he was going to do into a stark reality. During the morning work period, he brought it up to Laura and she congratulated him on showing interest in someone. She gave him some advice as well, which only made him more nervous that he was going to seriously screw things up.

He let his eyes wander over the group before finding her sitting with another girl whom he guessed was Jennifer. Taking another breath, he headed towards them and they looked up in surprise as he got closer. “May I join you two ladies?” he asked.

They giggled and nodded and Rodney sat down next to them, positive he could feel Kelly, Kirby, and Jillian’s eyes on him. Tact never having been a strong point, Rodney dove in with, “I’ve seen you watching me.”

Jaelyn blushed deeply and stared down into her fruit leaves as Jennifer giggled again and said, “She thinks you’re cute.”

“Oh, really?” Rodney asked, cocking an eyebrow at Jaelyn, who still wasn’t looking at him and, he thought, probably wished she could sink into the floor. “She’s pretty cute herself. Can she talk?” he asked Jennifer.

“She can,” Jaelyn replied, looking up at him. “I just wasn’t expecting this.”

“Well, you had to be expecting something, if you kept staring at me,” Rodney told her. “I’m sure your mothers taught you it’s not polite to stare.”

“I actually never quite learned that lesson,” Jaelyn replied. “At least it had the desired outcome.”

“If you mean getting me to talk to you, you could’ve approached me,” Rodney retorted. “I’m pretty easy to talk to.”

“I can see that,” she replied with a smile. “I’d like to get to know you better.”

“I’d like that too. Getting to know you better, I mean.”

“Then we should probably see about going this the right way,” she said coyly.

“I’ll talk to Kirby, then,” he said, standing.

“Okay,” she replied, impishly. “I’ll be expecting him to approach my parents, then.”

“Until then,” Rodney said before walking away, his knees shaking a bit and holding his plate in both hands.

“How did it go, Rodney-chan?” Kelly asked, descending upon him a few feet away.

“She wants me to court her,” Rodney replied, his eyes going round and he glanced back at the girls, who were talking with their heads together. “Did what I think just happened, happen?”

“It did,” Kelly replied with a chuckle. “You’re going to have your hands full with that one. Let’s go eat.”

That evening, Rodney was nervous all through dinner, despite Kirby and Jillian’s assurances. Once they had finished cleaning up, they gathered in the commons with Jasmine and her family.

Rodney cleared his throat and Jillian and Jasmine came to stand before him. “This evening,” he started, “we gather to bind together Jillian, daughter of Kirby, and Jasmine, daughter of Miko and Jacqueline, in friendship. This ceremony is to recognize their committed friendship to each other and their desire to support each other in ways that a husband cannot.” Turning to Jillian, he said, “Jillian, do you promise to support Jasmine to the best of your abilities in all areas of her life, to help her through the tough times and celebrate her joys?”

“I do,” Jillian replied solemnly to Rodney before flicking her gaze to Jasmine and smiling.

Turning to Jasmine, Rodney said, “Jasmine, do you promise to support Jillian to the best of your abilities in all areas of her life, to help her through the tough times and celebrate her joys?”

“I do,” Jasmine replied to Rodney, before repeating Jillian’s action and looking at Jillian with a smile.

“As is our tradition, a pair that has bonded symbolically shows it by wearing an earring cuff. These are supplied by the families.” Looking at Miko and Kirby, he said, “Do you have them?”

“We do,” they replied and presented the silver earring cuffs. The girls took the earring cuffs their fathers handed them.

Rodney nodded and the girls put the cuffs on the each other’s ears.

“By your intentions and your words, you are now bonded friends,” Rodney pronounced. “May it be so for the rest of your lives and may you thrive in each other’s company.”

The two girls grinned and hugged and the families smiled as they watched.

Rodney was simply relieved he got through it without messing up this special moment for Jillian, the joy on her face worth all of his worrying. Now he just had to get through Kirby checking to see if he and Jaelyn would be a good match and Kirby presenting the idea to Jaelyn’s parents. It might be a different system, but it was still just as nerve-wracking as if he’d asked her out himself.

“Are you sure they’re okay with it?” Rodney asked Kirby for the fifth time after he returned from talking with Jaelyn’s parents.

“They’re perfectly fine with it, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied, exasperated, as he took the proffered plate from Jillian with a quick thanks. “In fact, they’re completely thrilled that I made the offer for you. If the fact that you’re so healthy and the optimum of what we want in some areas wasn’t enough, the fact that you led the revolt against the Korsans would be. Put the two of them together and you have them eating out of your hand. And you probably have everyone else with an eligible daughter jealous that they didn’t think of it and get to you first.”

“Yeah, well.” Rodney pursed his lips. “You people tend to be pretty one-track minded when it comes to things, so including me in the marriage pool probably wasn’t even considered.”

“Admittedly, that’s true,” Kirby sighed. “But let’s be honest – it’s kept us going for longer than we might otherwise have. And you coming to us now might be the breath of fresh air we need to keep going.”

“Let’s hope so,” Rodney murmured before saying, “So, now what?”

“So now you’re free to court her. You can spend time with her – supervised time – without risking impropriety. You can get to know her – and she you – to see if the two of you are compatible for a life together. During this time, you’ll also need to prove to her family that you can provide for her and defend her.”

“Like that’s ever been needed, since they’ve never done it,” Rodney murmured to himself in disgust.

“What was that?” Kirby asked.

“Nothing,” Rodney replied innocently as he took his plate from Jillian with a quick thanks of his own. “Is there a time limit on how long this goes on before a marriage offer is expected?”

“Not really,” Kirby replied. “Each courtship has its own speed, though it’s best if it’s not drawn out for too long. Otherwise, it questions the man’s ability to provide a stable home for his wife and family. It’ll be subtle, but you’ll know when her family’s starting to expect a proposal.”

“I’m happy for you, Rodney-kun,” Jillian said quietly as she picked at her food.

“Thank you, Jillian. It means a lot to me,” Rodney replied. And it did. Since he had told them of his interest in Jaelyn a few days before, Jillian had been quiet on the subject and rather reluctant to talk about it. He had hoped that somehow he hadn’t offended her. She had never shown any interest in him that way, even if he wasn’t sure they would be allowed to get together, seeing as how Kirby and Jillian had practically adopted him. He just wished he knew what he had done to upset her.

“I hear congratulations are in order,” Laura said the next day when Rodney arrived in the silk borough. At his inquisitive look she added, “You are going to be courting Jaelyn, are you not?”

“Wow, that was fast,” Rodney replied. “And, yes, I am. Thank you.” He helped Laura set up her handloom. “What are we starting on today?”

“A wall-hanging for the royal family of Trayan. I don’t know why they seem to love these things, but from what I’ve heard, they live in a rather large, gray stone house, so I guess whatever they can do to brighten it up is a good thing. And you’ll be doing most of the work on this one. If you do well, you’ll be able to move on to using one on your own.”

Rodney swallowed audibly. “That’s just – wow. Seriously?”

“Seriously,” she replied with an amused look as she readied the silk that was to be woven in. “And to think, a mere few months ago, you wanted to quit.”

“Yes, well,” Rodney drew himself up to his full height and affected his haughtiest attitude, “I did it in a moment of weakness and I’ve solemnly sworn to never do it again.”

Laura burst out laughing. “Which I’m very glad for. You’re quite good at this.”

“Thank you,” Rodney replied with a modest smile. “Hopefully the courtship will go the same way.”

“Just don’t give out on that too quickly, either. Marriage has been very rewarding.”

“Let’s not put the horse before the cart,” Rodney commented dryly as he threaded the shuttle. “It’s not a done deal yet.”

“And I can’t see you failing at anything you put your mind to.”

“You’d be surprised. It’s happened a few times – and quite spectacularly in a few instances.” Rodney winced at the memory of Doranda and the Arcturus Project. “But thank you for the sentiment.”

That evening, Rodney hesitantly headed over to Jaelyn’s family’s quarters after dinner. He was sure he had met Keith and Jessica in one way or another but, for some odd reason, he couldn’t put faces to the names. He paused for a moment outside the curtained entry before calling out, “It’s Rodney, may I come in?”

Jaelyn appeared at the doorway and beamed at him as she said, “Please, come in, Rodney-sensei.” She held the curtain aside so he could enter.

Rodney entered tentatively, not sure what to expect. The inside of the quarters were a bit hectic, with items piled in places. He also noticed that there were more cots than he was used to seeing, and more people. As he took in the other people, he realized that not only did Jaelyn have both parents and a younger sister, her grandparents were still living as well. And they were all looking at him expectantly.

“Welcome, Rodney-sensei,” Keith said, standing and giving Rodney a shallow bow.

“Thank you, Keith-san,” Rodney replied with a shallow bow of his own. Including the rest of the family, he said, “Thank you for allowing me the opportunity and honor of courting your daughter.”

The family chuckled and Jaelyn blushed furiously as Jessica said, “Please, don’t let us deter you two from spending some time together. We can save our questions for later.”

Rodney looked at Jaelyn expectantly and she looked at him, slightly embarrassed. “Shall we go out in the commons?” he asked.

She nodded mutely and led him out, looking relieved. Once outside, she said, “It was getting oppressive in there – everyone looking at me expectantly, as if I could will you to appear and get the initial meeting over with. Be glad you don’t have that many people to deal with.”

“Oh, I think I do – just not all in one place,” Rodney replied with an amused smile as they started walking around the outer edge of the commons, thinking of Kirby, Jillian, Kelly, and Laura. And knowing that they probably all had people who were eagerly waiting to hear from them about the events that were about to transpire. “I don’t know about you, but this is pretty nerve-wracking for me,” he admitted.

“I agree,” she replied. “Everyone’s watching to make sure we do everything right, plus the pressure of not having much time to make sure that we’re with the person we’re supposed to be with for the rest of our lives. It would be so much easier if it were more casual.”

Rodney shrugged. “I’ve done the casual thing, too, and that hasn’t been any easier. Usually, it’s harder. At least right now, you and I know where we’re headed, what we’re aiming for. When I’ve dated casually, it’s usually with the idea of ‘let’s just wing it and see how things go’. But my people also don’t have certain hindrances that your people do.”

“Such as what?” she asked.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “Such as my people have a larger population and don’t have the threat of kidnappings that your people do.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Jaelyn replied with a smile. “I’d love to visit other worlds some time. I love hearing stories from the tribes we trade with of their worlds and the worlds they’ve visited it. Have you visited a lot of other worlds?”

“I’ve been to a fair amount,” he replied with a nod. “I think the term ‘a lot’ is subjective. I know people who have been to more worlds than I have who don’t consider it to be a lot and I know others who have been to fewer than I have who think they’ve been to a lot.”

As the subject turned to other things and they walked around the commons a few more times, Rodney felt himself relax. Jaelyn was easy to talk to and inquisitive and her stumbles in understanding were due to vocabulary, not an inferior mind. Her mother finally came out and called Jaelyn in.

“I had a good time,” Jaelyn said when they stopped in front of her quarters.

“I did too,” Rodney replied with a small smile, feeling like this courtship wouldn’t be as hard as he had expected. “Sweet dreams.”

“You too,” she replied with a smile of her own before slipping inside.

As soon as Rodney turned around, Kelly was at his side. Rodney started and exclaimed, “Good Lord! You scared the hell out of me!”

Kelly chuckled before remarking, “It looks like it went well.”

Rodney grinned as they started across the commons. “Yeah, I think it did. She’s remarkably easy to talk to, unlike some of the morons I’ve had to deal with.” He stopped and, turning serious, turned to Kelly. “But what if I mess it up? I have a tendency to do that, you know.” He started worrying his bottom lip and shifted his gaze from Kelly to the floor as he dropped his voice and rushed on. “Things will start out great, then I’ll do something insanely stupid and the next thing I know, she’s breaking up with me and deflecting the blame, like it isn’t anyone’s fault, though I know it’s mine because I was too insensitive or got too caught up in my work or pick your fault – I’m probably guilty of it.”

“Hey, hey,” Kelly said soothingly and ducked his head so he could meet Rodney’s gaze. “It’s going to be okay. I don’t know if your behavior when you first got here was indicative of the way you were in your native land, but you’ve come a long way since then. And I think that the fact that you’re aware of what you’ve done and don’t want to do it again is a very good sign.”

“You’re sounding like Kirby,” Rodney grumbled as he looked up at Kelly.

Kelly rolled his eyes. “Well, when you start spending as much time around him as I have while I’m with you, it’s hard not to. You’re simply impervious because you hear it all the time.”

Rodney laughed, feeling the tension inside him ease. “You really think this will work out?”

“I do,” Kelly replied with a quick nod of his head. “You’ve tackled everything else we’ve thrown at you. I don’t see courting someone as being any different.”

“I’m holding you personally responsible if this courtship doesn’t work out, Kelly,” Rodney said with a glare and a pointed finger as they started walking again.

Kelly laughed, “Yeah, I’m sure you’ll try to. You’ll be fine, I promise. Just remember to take it one day at a time.”

Rodney did his best to take it one day at a time, but most days it was hard. He split his time as evenly as he could between Kelly and Jaelyn, while keeping up with the unspoken idea of how much time he should spend with Kirby and Jillian.

And each day he found that he was liking Jaelyn even more and maybe even falling in love with her. She was curious about all the different places he had been and enjoyed his stories of missions gone wrong, even if he didn’t quite phrase them as “missions” but “meet and greets” and of his descriptions and tales of his teammates and coworkers on Atlantis. Even after all this time, Rodney still found himself being careful as he told the stories, not willing to give enough away for Atlantis to be found by any prying ears and he was grateful that Jaelyn didn’t question that.

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, Rodney was surprised that Jaelyn didn’t seem to be resigning herself to settling down with him, but instead did seem like she genuinely cared for him as well.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Rodney told Kelly with a grin.

“What?” Kelly asked in amusement, as he grabbed his staff. “That you and Jaelyn are still together?”

“Yes! And there’s none of the normal animosity that’s usually starting to build at this point in the relationship – if we even get this far.” Dropping his voice, as they left Kelly’s quarters, he said, “I can usually sense these things.”

“And it’s amazing that you never did anything to stop it from happening,” Kelly replied dryly.

“Yes, well. That’s where my lack of people skills would come in,” Rodney replied with a hint of sorrow in his voice. “At first I was oblivious to it, but then, once I started noticing the pattern, I didn’t know how to stop it once it started and usually ended up making things worse.”

“And what’s so special about this time?”

“I’m being more careful?” Rodney replied questioningly. “Or, at least, I’m trying to be.” He looked at Kelly, worried. “Am I doing okay?”

“You are, from what I’ve seen,” Kelly replied. “I think your sincerity is winning you a lot of points in her book, even if you do bungle things. Plus, we’re not like your native people. We don’t have the same concept of love and courtship.”

“That’s true. I think at least some of the women would really like the way it’s done here – very Regency romance novel-esque. Sorry – cultural reference. I mean the whole idea of doing the whole ‘preparing for marriage’ thing in a very specific and set way would appeal to them.”

Jaelyn and Jennifer joined them at the entrance to the caves. “May we come with you?” Jaelyn asked.

Rodney looked at Kelly with a raised eyebrow and Kelly shrugged. “Sure,” Rodney replied, “but I doubt watching us practice will be very exciting for you two.”

“It’s okay,” Jaelyn replied as she and Jennifer beamed. “We don’t mind. And Jennifer is doing a day of silence.”

The men shrugged and the foursome went down to the practice section of the caves. The girls seated themselves on some flat rocks to watch as Rodney and Kelly warmed up.

“You’re not upset, are you?” Rodney asked Kelly quietly.

“No, why would I be?” Kelly asked. “She’s a definite part of your life right now, if not for the rest of it, and Jennifer’s a definite part of her life, just as I’m a definite part of yours. We’re all going to have to make sure we can get along at some point, right?”

“Very true. Let’s get started.”

They tapped their staffs together before taking a couple steps back to give themselves some space. Rodney took a deep breath and let it out slowly as both he and Kelly assumed the opening stance. As they fought, he was aware of Jaelyn and Jennifer cheering them on, but it felt like the noise and affirmations were at a distance and not a mere few feet away. When he finally dealt Kelly the last hit, Jaelyn let out a whoop before squeaking in embarrassment.

Both Kelly and Rodney grinned as they headed to the water bucket. “You’re doing great,” Rodney told Kelly as he picked up the ladle. “I was actually worried there that I’d have to challenge you again in order to defend my honor.”

Kelly laughed heartily as he took the ladle from Rodney and dipped it in the bucket. “I doubt that’ll ever actually happen, Rodney-chan. You’re too good for anyone to actually win against you.”

“You’re not serious,” Rodney scoffed and at Kelly’s nod, he rolled his eyes. “Just you wait. One of these days you will. It’s a proven fact that the student always surpasses the teacher.”

“We’ll see about that. So, what are your plans for tonight?”

“Dinner with Jaelyn’s family. Frankly, I still find them a little scary. Well, her parents anyway. I like her grandparents. Since they’ve gone through the courtship ritual and their children have gone through it, they seem to know that our courtship will take the time it needs to take and aren’t subtly pushing us to get moving.”

“I think that’s the parents’ prerogative,” Kelly commented as they headed back to Jaelyn and Jennifer. “They want to enjoy their grandbabies before they get too old and their parents are just happy to relive their courtship through the children.”

“Very well done, Rodney-chan,” Jaelyn said as she smiled at him and she and Jennifer stood. “We’d better get back.”

On the way back, Rodney walked next to Jaelyn and Kelly and Jennifer quietly followed behind them. “My parents are expecting you to do a tea ceremony and make a meal for us soon,” Jaelyn informed Rodney.

“I don’t think I’m ready, yet,” Rodney replied. “Kelly still thinks the way I conduct the tea ceremony is only passable, but not worthy to take to your parents, and I’m glad Jillian hasn’t permanently maimed me for my inability to cook half the things she’s trying to teach me.”

“It doesn’t have to be anything long and involved,” she told him. “And as long as they see that you’re making an effort, they’ll be more lenient on you, since you’re not a native Lapran.”

“Until the next time I have to do it,” Rodney replied with a rueful smile. “Then it’ll be fair game.”

They reached the commons and Jaelyn said, “Take a few deep breaths and pull yourself together, then come over when you’re ready. Everything will be fine.”

Rodney watched the women walk away as Kelly joined him. “Don’t worry,” Kelly said. “You’ll have what you need to know covered by the time you need to know it. You really are doing exceptionally well with the tea ceremony and you haven’t burnt down your quarters yet.”

Rodney let out a bark of a laugh at that. “I don’t know if I should feel complimented or incensed by that remark.”

“Take it as you will, but you’re still too hard on yourself at times.”

“I know.” Rodney stared at the curtain to Jaelyn’s quarters and sighed before grinning. “It’s just that this is a huge thing for me.”

“So you’ve said,” Kelly replied, amused. “Look, don’t over-think things with her family. Just let things happen and it’ll all work out.”

“Thank you for that sage advice,” Rodney replied dryly. “It’s very Zen.” At Kelly’s confused look, Rodney rolled his eyes and said, “Honestly, I don’t even know why I try with you people. You obviously don’t get most of my jokes. I’d better get ready to go or Jaelyn’s mother will be over to drag me back by my ear for dinner.”

“I want to hear about it tomorrow,” Kelly said as he started to walk away.

“Don’t worry – you will,” Rodney replied as he started towards his quarters. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Are you staying for dinner, Rodney-kun?” Kirby asked.

“No,” Rodney replied as he took off his sweaty shirt and began wiping himself off with a damp cloth. “I’m going over to Jaelyn’s for dinner.”

“You’ve been going over there a lot lately,” Jillian said bitterly as she put away a pair of pants she had been mending.

“Jillian!” Kirby replied, looking at her in surprise. “That’s not a nice way to talk to Rodney about the girl he’s courting.”

“It’s okay,” Rodney told him as he pulled on a clean tunic. “She has a right to feel the way she does.” He saw a glimmer of gratitude in Jillian’s eyes. “Feel like telling me what’s up? Any particular reason you don’t seem to like Jaelyn and me together?”

Jillian shook her head and pursed her lips. “I’d rather not talk about it now,” she replied with a quick glance at her father.

Rodney made a mental note of the look as he shrugged. “Okay, then. I will see both of you later, then. I don’t want to keep them waiting.”

Rodney shook his head after leaving their quarters. It was apparent that families were weird and unfathomable regardless of the galaxy or planet.

He was easily accepted inside when he arrived at Jaelyn’s family’s quarters. Amid a flurry of questions, Rodney was seated next to a blushing Jaelyn and he could only guess what they had been talking about prior to his arrival. But before he and Jaelyn could speak even one word to each other or he could answer any questions, Jaelyn was whisked away to help finish the dinner preparations.

Jaelyn’s paternal grandfather sat down in the vacated space. “I’m glad we haven’t scared you away, yet,” he commented to Rodney.

“And why’s that, Papi?” Rodney asked, surprised.

“As you can see, we have a tendency to be very overbearing and that tends to scare off any potential suitors from making an offer. And if we don’t, Jaelyn sometimes does. She’s as exuberant about this as we are.”

“Has Jaelyn had a lot of suitors?” Rodney asked, not sure how he should react to the bit of information.

“She’s had a couple – but no more than a girl her age would. But she’s also a typical young woman who’s grown up listening to the stories of love and wants her life to work out the same way.”

“And she gets hurt when it isn’t instantly the way she imagined,” Rodney supplied.

“Exactly. But I think you’re a good match for her. You’re exotic enough that I think you could keep her interested long enough for her to find she’s fallen in love with you. You have a lot of good inside of you and you both deserve to be happy.”

“Thank you,” Rodney replied. “Are there any tips you could give me?”

Papi laughed. “Regarding Jaelyn or in general?”

“Either? Both?” Rodney asked expectantly.

“I’m not going to say regarding Jaelyn – you need to find your own way with her or your relationship will be missing a key component. In general, be loving but be fair. That’s the hardest lesson to learn.”

Jaelyn’s other grandparents settled around them and the conversation turned to other things – mostly the grandmothers wanting to know about people in other boroughs and Rodney filled them in as best he could. And the grandfathers wanted to know how he was doing in the silk guild and how his training was coming along. Rodney enjoyed the conversation and the feeling of belonging he had with them – as if this was where he was meant to be, filling an undefined hole in Kirby, Jillian, and Kelly’s lives and getting ready to start a family of his own.

Jaelyn and her younger sister, Jamie, began serving them – first their grandparents, then their parents, then Jaelyn handed Rodney a laden plate before settling down next to him.

“This is good,” he told her after taking a few bites of the meat.

“Thank you,” she replied with a shy smile. “I was hoping it would be, but I still worried that something would go horribly wrong and it would be inedible or that you wouldn’t like it.”

“Don’t worry. I think your cooking’s great.” And Rodney really did believe that. Somehow her cooking always tasted a little better than anyone else’s. So, either she really was a great cook, or he really was in love. Either way, he didn’t really want to know the answer.

“Rodney-sensei,” Jaelyn’s dad said, getting his attention. “I would like to test you myself to see if you’ll be able to defend my daughter.”

“*Father*,” Jaelyn said exasperatedly, as if this topic had been a bone of contention between the two of them. “Rodney-sensei was the one who coordinated the resistance against the Korsans. I doubt he needs to be tested on his ability to defend me.”

‘Especially since your idea of defense is an antiquated and hardly passable form of defense anyway,’ Rodney thought to himself. But to Keith, he said, “Of course. When would you like to do it?”

“Let’s do it tomorrow after work. I’ll meet you in the caves.”

Rodney nodded once. “Fair enough.”

The conversation turned to other things for the remainder of the meal and Rodney could almost feel Jaelyn’s parents warming up to him. Once everything was cleaned up and put away, Rodney and Jaelyn settled by the doorway for some time to themselves.

“I think it’s going well,” Rodney said plunging right in as he pulled his knees up and draped his arms over top of them.

“They do really like you,” Jillian replied. “Even though my mother’s reserving final judgment until after you perform a tea ceremony and cook a meal and my father’s reserving it until the two of you spar tomorrow night. I think it’s just the nature of parents to be wary of any suitor. I’ve heard a lot of the same from other girls – and even women who are married. And I’m sure you’ll be the same way when we have a girl.”

“You sure about that?” Rodney replied, swallowing and hoping it wasn’t audible to anyone other than himself.

“Of course,” Jaelyn replied matter-of-factly. “I hope we have at least one of each. And I know you’ll dote on a little girl as if she were the most precious piece of glass you had ever seen. And we’ll have a boy who’ll take after you and will get into all sorts of scrapes.” She smiled fondly. “I think we’ll be great parents.” Glancing around the room, she sighed. “You’d better get going – my mother’s giving us a weird look.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied, glancing at Jaelyn’s mother and giving her a small smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“Sleep well,” she said as he stood.

“You too,” he replied and took his leave of everyone before slipping out of their quarters.

The next evening, in the practice room Rodney met not only Keith, but the entire family and Jennifer as well. Rodney was glad Kelly had insisted on coming for moral support.

“Welcome, Rodney-sensei,” Keith said with a slight bow.

“Thank you, Keith-san,” Rodney replied with a similar bow. “Shall we get started?”

“I believe we shall,” Keith replied, picking up his staff.

“I would give you some pithy advice,” Kelly said, “but I doubt there’s really anything I could say that would be of any use to you.”

Rodney laughed. “You being here is enough.”

Rodney went out into the sparring area and twirled his staff around, reacquainting himself with it. When he was done, he and Keith touched staffs before backing up a few steps. Rodney automatically took in Keith’s stance, height, and weight, and compared them to Kelly’s – noting the differences and adjusting automatically. He let Keith make the first move, easily blocking the coming blow and returning one of his own. Rodney easily parried and blocked Keith’s movements and countered back easily, coming to the necessary points to win with ease.

“Very good,” Keith replied with a grin when they finished. “I’m pleased with how you’ve handled yourself. Dear, what do you think?” he asked his wife.

“I think he was quite good. But I believe we should see Kelly and Rodney spar, since they are always practicing together and since they know each other’s strengths. It’ll give us a better picture of how good Rodney is.”

“You can both back out,” Keith told Rodney and Kelly.

After sharing a glance, Kelly said, “We’ll do it. Let me go get my staff.”

As he quickly exited, Keith said to Rodney, “Here, use my staff. I’d like to see your adaptability.”

“Okay,” Rodney said, taking the offered staff and hefting it, before going through a few moves to get used to its weight and balance. It was a few inches longer and a little heavier and thicker than his own, but Rodney thought it felt good in his hands and knew he wouldn’t have any problems with it.

Kelly returned a few moments later, Jillian and Kirby in tow. He shrugged at Rodney’s questioning look. Rodney smiled at both Kirby and Jillian and they returned the smiles as they settled with Jaelyn’s family. Kirby talked to Jaelyn’s grandparents and Jillian sat next to Jaelyn but didn’t say anything and looked uncomfortable.

“Are you both ready?” Keith asked them as Kelly stretched his shoulders back and twirled his staff. They both nodded and headed to the sparring area.

“Good luck,” Kelly replied quietly.

“For what?” Rodney asked, perplexed.

“They’re really going to be watching you now.” He smiled and Rodney relaxed a little. “But you’ve been kicking my ass ever since you got up to speed with this thing, so I doubt you’ll have a problem. And you have the revolt in your corner.”

“I certainly hope you’re right. Let’s get going.”

They touched their staffs and backed off. Rodney settled into his opening stance and felt a calm come over him. He wondered if that was how Ronon, Teyla and John felt before a fight but didn’t get to linger on the idea because Kelly was coming at him. Rodney fought back automatically, making adjustments to fit the staff he was using and making it work for him, and didn’t allow himself to over-think what Kelly’s moves might be, but kept himself in the moment and fought easily.

When they finished, Rodney and Kelly grinned at each other, both exhilarated by the exertion. There was some clapping to the side and they both turned to find their audience clapping and grinning. Rodney was happy to see Jillian was participating as well.

“Good job,” Kelly panted.

“You too,” Rodney replied.

“I think you’ve been holding out on me. Some of that stuff I don’t remember ever seeing.”

“Sorry,” Rodney replied sheepishly as they headed for the water bucket. “I was just acting on instinct.”

“So I gathered.” Kelly chuckled as he looked back over Rodney’s shoulder as Rodney took a drink. “I think you made a good impression, though. With the way it looks like Keith and Kirby are talking, you can expect to be given the go ahead to make a proposal any day now.”

Rodney sputtered. “Are you serious?” He whipped around and saw Kirby and Keith standing close together and talking quietly a few paces from the rest of the group. Whipping back to Kelly, he hissed, “I don’t think I’m ready for marriage yet.”

“You may not get much say in the matter when it comes down to it,” Kelly replied, taking the ladle from Rodney and taking a drink. “In many cases, the families decide it and all the couple gets to say about the date is ‘sooner’ or ‘later’. And the later isn’t much later.”

Rodney let out a huff. “Okay. I can do this. Jaelyn and I can do this. We can do this, right?”

“I have all faith that you two can,” Kelly replied with a reassuring smile. “Let’s go back and see what’s going on and then you’ll know how much you need to freak out.”

It turned out that Rodney didn’t need to freak out at all. Kirby and Keith had merely been discussing Rodney’s prowess and Keith had been expressing his desire to have their families joined if Jaelyn and Rodney would have each other.

After everyone had dispersed and gone back to their quarters, Rodney cornered Jillian. “What’s going on with you?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” she asked, looking at him dubiously.

“I mean what’s going on with you in regards to Jaelyn. I get the feeling that you don’t like her very much and that you’re not very happy with the fact that I’m courting her.”

“It’s not that I don’t like her,” Jillian said carefully. “Look, I don’t want to put anything between the two of you, but I think that the two of you should have a good talk and make sure you have everything out in the open before you get married, okay?”

“Okay,” Rodney replied. “I’ll talk to her.”

“Thank you,” she replied. “I really do want you to be happy, Rodney-kun.”

That night in bed, Rodney wondered what could make Jillian worry about Rodney’s happiness with Jaelyn, but he kept drawing blanks. Every vice that he could think of was either non-existent in Lapras, or things were carefully monitored.

“I think you’re ready,” Kelly said, sitting back on his heels after they finished putting everything away.

“Really?” Rodney asked, surprised. “Because I think that last cup was a little weak.”

Kelly chuckled. “It was fine. Take a deep breath and listen to me. Jaelyn’s parents love the samples you’ve shown them of your work. Your tea ceremony is fine. Your cooking is fine. You’ll win them over with them when you do it for them tonight.”

Rodney picked at some invisible lint on his shirt. “You know how I get when I’m nervous.”

“I do,” Kelly replied. “And you have a number of things to focus on and do, so that’ll help you stay calm – or calmer. Plus, simply remember why you’re doing this.”

“For Jaelyn,” Rodney replied. He couldn’t help but smile as he thought of her. While he couldn’t honestly say he loved her, he did care for her deeply and knew that in time love would be an easy possibility. Rodney stood. “Okay, I’m going to find Jaelyn because I need to talk to her before tonight.”

Kelly stood as well. “If I don’t see you, good luck. Not that you’ll need it.”

Rodney beamed as he exited Kelly’s quarters before Kelly. “And let you know everything that happens tonight tomorrow.”

“Exactly,” Kelly laughed. “Now go.”

Rodney easily found Jaelyn sitting with Jennifer, Jamie and a few other girls. “Can I speak with you privately?” he asked her, after greeting everyone in the group.

“Sure,” she replied as she stood. They headed to a secluded spot along the outside wall and sat close, but didn’t touch. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“It’s just that with the fact of our actual engagement and marriage being imminent, I thought it would be good if we shared facts about ourselves that might be considered, um, deal breakers so that we both go into this with our eyes completely open and we’re not shocked and upset when we find these things out later on after it’s too late.” Rodney felt his nervousness skyrocket and his mouth going on autopilot and didn’t know how to stop it. “Like, I drool when I sleep. It’s pretty disgusting and not exactly an endearing habit. I also have a tendency to run roughshod over other people. I’ve gotten much better about that since I’ve gotten here, but I’ve been known on more than one occasion to make people cry. And, okay, stopping now.” He clamped his mouth shut and took a deep breath through his nose.

Jillian laughed. “That’s very admirable, Rodney-chan. I, sadly, don’t have anything quite so interesting to confess.”

“Really?” Rodney blurted out. “I would’ve figured you would have a number of things to mention – all inane, of course.”

“Well, if you insist.” At Rodney’s eager nod, she continued, “I snore.”

“That’s hardly anything,” Rodney scoffed.

“I told you,” Jaelyn replied with a chuckle. “I don’t have anything special like you.”

“Are you sure?” Rodney pressed.

“I’m sure.” She turned serious. “What’s this about, Rodney-chan?”

“Nothing,” he replied. “Like I said – I just wanted to make sure things were good between us.”

“Do you think things are good between us?”

“I think so.”

“And I do too, so let’s stop this nonsense. How do you feel about tonight?”

“Nervous,” he admitted.

“You’ll be fine,” she encouraged as she stood and Rodney scrambled up behind her. “You should go get ready. I’ll see you in a little while.”

Rodney watched her go and rolled his shoulders, feeling better. While Jillian’s concern may have a good reason behind it, if Jaelyn said there was nothing wrong, he would have to believe her. Now he just had to figure out what to do for the next few hours because he’d been ready since that morning.

Rodney took a deep breath as he entered Jaelyn’s quarters carrying a basket with all the items he would need for the evening. Everyone was gathered around the fire pit and looking at him expectantly. Rodney took another deep breath and smiled wanly at them as he greeted them quietly before setting down the basket where Jaelyn indicated.

‘Now or never,’ he thought as he began unpacking the basket and placing the items in their necessary order. He had decided on doing a tea ceremony that included a meal, figuring it would be easier to get it all done at once instead of having to do two different affairs. Jaelyn’s family watched him quietly as Rodney went through the necessary steps to make the tea and the food. The routine steps helped Rodney stay calm and focused when he finally passed out the tea and the food to Jaelyn’s family, knowing their fate together was now in her parents’ hands.

Once the last utensil had been cleaned and put away, Keith and Jessica excused themselves to talk things over. They came back a few moments later, grinning.

“Rodney-sensei,” Keith said, “we have decided that you have our consent to marry our daughter if she will have you.”

Rodney grinned and felt his whole body relax. “Thank you,” he said, as Jaelyn launched herself at her parents, hugging them both.

She then sat next to him, looking at him expectantly. Rodney felt shocked, not ready for this at all, but he found himself looking into her eyes and heard himself saying, “Jaelyn, will you marry me?”

And he could have sworn her “yes” rang in his ears until the next morning.

“It’s been two and a half years, John,” Elizabeth said with an exasperated sigh as she rubbed her temples.

“I know, Elizabeth,” John replied with a matching sigh of his own. “I just don’t know what you expect me to do about it.”

“A little more enthusiasm might be nice.”

John snorted. “Enthusiasm for what?”

Elizabeth shrugged as she sagged back into her chair. “Anything aside from finding Rodney.” At John’s narrowing of his eyes, she said, “Yes, I know you’ve been showing his picture around against my orders. No, I won’t tell you how I know.” Continuing, she gently chided, “And you haven’t exactly been welcoming to Dr. Darby, even though he’s expressed his acceptance of the situation the way it is.”

“I’ve been perfectly welcoming to Darby,” John ground out. “What do you want me to do? Roll out a red carpet and throw a party? It might seem a little weird doing it now, since he’s been on the team for almost a year.”

“And you haven’t sought him out once without necessary cause in that time.”

“Just because Darby and I don’t have the same relationship that Rodney and I had doesn’t mean something’s wrong with our relationship, Elizabeth.”

“I understand that, John, but I’m concerned about your behavior.”

Cutting her off before she could say anything else, John said, “Look, either give me an order or let it go. We’re managing just fine – unlike SGA-12.” He grimaced at the memory of the team coming back from a mission not speaking to each other and all adamant that they don’t work together as a team in the future. He knew Elizabeth and Heightmeyer were still mediating between the four teammates.

“Okay,” Elizabeth replied slowly and diplomatically and John stood. “But I mean it, John – stop looking for Rodney.”

“I’m not going to promise that, Elizabeth,” John replied as he stood. “You know that.”

“I know,” she murmured as he left her office, “but I can still try.”

John left Elizabeth’s office in a foul mood. He *knew* he was acting borderline insane with his persistence in looking for Rodney. He *knew* that he wasn’t giving Darby a fair shot by fully accepting him as part of the team. But, damn it, he didn’t want to go through that again. He didn’t want to become good friends with Darby and then lose him. Or, the alternative, become good friends with him and then find Rodney. Because, honestly? He’d have Rodney back on the team in a heartbeat and where would that leave Darby? John ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

“Hey, Colonel,” Darby said easily as he joined him in the Gate Room and for a moment John was reminded of Rodney. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” John replied. “How are you, Darby? And haven’t I told you to call me John?”

“I’m fine. And, yes, you have told me to call you John – numerous times.” Darby flipped through the papers in his hand.

“Must be a scientist thing, then,” John muttered. “Can I do something for you, Darby?” he asked him.

“No,” Darby replied. “I just happen to be going the same way – at least for a bit. I needed some information from some of the sensors and now I’m heading down to the labs. Will I see you at dinner?” he asked as he stopped and John entered the transporter.

“Possibly, but I’m not guaranteeing anything,” John replied, inwardly thinking that it would be a miracle if any of the scientists actually went to dinner at a normal dinner hour without it being necessitated by low blood sugar.

“Okay, I’ll see you later, John,” Darby replied with a smile as John hit the transporter’s screen for his quarters and the doors slid shut.

As John exited the transporter, he couldn’t help but think that Darby was a good guy and was handling the situation a lot better than most people would. He did give him credit for that. And he did like the guy. He just couldn’t go through getting close to someone and then having them either be taken from him or leaving him.

John headed to his quarters and grabbed his golf clubs and bucket of balls before heading out to the driving range. He was fairly certain that it would be deserted at this time of day and he was definitely certain that none of his teammates would disturb him there.

John took a deep breath and let his mind go blank as he set up his tee and the first ball. He smiled with grim satisfaction when he heard it clink into the basket attached to the first buoy marker. He hit a number of balls in succession, relaxing minutely as he heard each of them clink into the baskets attached to the various distance buoy markers.

“There you are, John,” Carson said as he came in. “I figured I’d find you here.”

“What makes you say that?” John asked, turning and leaning on his club, a little surprised that Carson had come after him.

“This is the only place where you won’t answer any calls for fifteen minutes straight.”

John raised his eyebrows. “Really? That long?”

“That long, John,” Carson confirmed.

“Sorry,” John replied, a little embarrassed. “I was concentrating.”

“I can see that. You got all of them in that I saw.” Carson rubbed his forehead with his thumbnail. “Aside from making sure you’re all right, I came by to see if you wouldn’t mind coming ’round the infirmary later today and helping me out with some paperwork Elizabeth wants done for the next databurst.”

“Sure,” John replied easily as he went over and leaned against the wall next to Carson. “I can only give you this afternoon and this evening, though. I’m sure the science department will want me for the next couple of days.”

Carson chuckled. “I don’t envy you that job. Sometimes I wonder how you put up with all of them, then I remember you had to deal with Rodney on a daily basis.”

John’s mouth tightened into a line, but he forced himself to say, “Yeah, some days I can see where his bellowing would be warranted.”

Carson clucked his tongue softly, but didn’t comment further for a while. “Feel like coming along now, or do you want to stay out here for a while longer?” he finally asked.

“I think I’ll come in,” John replied as he pushed himself off the wall and retrieved his bucket and tee. “I think I’ve hit enough balls for one day.”

“I’ve always wondered,” Carson said, “how do you retrieve the balls?”

“We swim out,” John replied. “We’re still working on a way to retrieve the ones that don’t go in the baskets.”

When they reached the infirmary, John stowed his things in a corner of Carson’s office before grabbing the offered data tablet and a stack of Carson’s notes on his genetics research. John sighed as he sat down in a chair at the end of Carson’s desk and began putting in the notes.

“Now, you know I can’t be giving you the patient files to work on,” Carson said with a mild hint of reproof. “As interesting as that may be.”

“I know, I know,” John muttered. “This just reminds me that there was a reason why I was a math major.”

“Well, I’m sorry my notes aren’t as interesting as the Science Department’s,” Carson replied dryly as he began preparing his patient notes to send back to Earth.

“Oh, their stuff can be boring too,” John replied as he slouched in the chair and began working. “The only reason I keep doing it is so I can be around to watch when they have their meltdowns and start yelling at each other. I think most of them have worse mouths than my men.”

“And what about me?” Carson asked, looking at him out of the corner of his eyes.

“I definitely do it for the company.” John knew for a fact that if he hadn’t had Carson around, he really would have gone off the deep end after losing Rodney.

“Well, thank you, John.” Carson smiled as he started to work in earnest.

The two men took a break when their stomachs growled in unison and they headed down to the mess hall. They joined the rest of John’s team as they ate and John felt a sharp pang at the feeling that it was so similar to the old times before Rodney had gone MIA.

“We are going to be watching Back to the Future tonight, John,” Teyla reminded him as they finished. Extending the invitation, she added, “And you are most welcome as well, Carson.”

“I remember,” John replied, not really wanting to watch it. They had never watched it as a team before because Rodney had always preemptively complained too much about the “science” involved. This time around, Darby had actually been the one to suggest it. “But I promised I’d help Carson with a few things.”

“I think we can play hooky for a few hours’ time, John,” Carson reproved lightly. “We have most of the load finished and I think I can handle the rest of it tomorrow on my own.”

“If you’re sure…” John trailed off, concern evident in his expression and tone.

“Yes, John,” Carson replied shaking his head and rolling his eyes at the others, who smiled in understanding.

The next day, John reported bright and early to the science labs, bringing with him a large bottle of aspirin, a large travel mug of coffee, and his iPod. Miko absently pointed to his normal table, which had an open laptop and several extra batteries. John replied with a wave before he set everything up and went to work on the files the scientists had placed on his directory in the network. The monthly databursts were hell. They may have been better for power consumption, but they wreaked havoc on the scientists who never seemed able to remember when their items would be due.

He sighed when he saw the list of documents that were already there, knowing that it was only going to get longer. He scanned the list and started with one of the scientists who he knew would be pestering him if his things weren’t done right away. He deliberately didn’t turn on the instant messaging program one of the programmers had made, knowing that if he did, he’d be bombarded with questions about when he would be finished with their files and with explanations to make sure he filled in the notes properly. It would take twice as long and he would have to continually remind them that he could follow both their shorthand and what was actually being done. He had turned the program on once before and it had been like ants to honey. Unless he actually needed help or one of the scientists actually needed to talk to him, it was far better to keep his head down and work as quickly and efficiently as possible and drop the finished files in the “Done” directory as he went along.

Around mid-morning, Zelenka was the first one to approach John’s table, grumbling darkly in Czech. He took a few of the offered aspirin before going back to his workspace. The others came by at irregular intervals to also avail themselves of John’s aspirin. None of them otherwise bothered him, though some lingered and John gave them each an understanding smile, knowing they wanted to get away from their work for a few moments.

At lunch time, Zelenka tapped on John’s shoulder and, when John looked up, raised an eyebrow. John nodded as he saved his work and paused his iPod.

“Thank you for your assistance, John,” Zelenka said as they walked down to the mess hall. “You have been a big help in getting ready for the monthly databursts. The weekly ones may have been bad for our power consumption, but at least we were organized.”

John chuckled. “I’m glad I can help, Doc.”

With a sly grin, Zelenka said, “And, to think that Elizabeth once yelled at you for not having your reports in on time.”

“Yeah, well,” John rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “She’s had other things to yell at me about lately.”

“Still no luck with Rodney?” Zelenka asked softly. Zelenka had always been a silent supporter of finding Rodney, if only so he could give him his job back. But lately he had begun voicing his concern that they were past the point of return for Rodney. Without waiting for a reply, he continued, “As much as I would love to have Rodney back with us – for all the suffering he put us through, he was a very good man and definitely a genius – you have to let go, John. This is unhealthy.”

“Yeah, that’s what Elizabeth’s been saying. And I’ve tried, but it’s been hard.” John sighed and changed the topic to something more benign as they entered the mess hall. He *knew* his fixation on finding Rodney – especially after all this time and with severly limited resources – was unhealthy, but, in the grand scheme of things, the fact that he was still fully-functional and productive went a long way in proving that he was still sane. He knew enough about psychology to know that would go a long way to keep him in the active duty rotation. Well, as sane as taking a one-way trip to another galaxy with space vampires could get.

John enjoyed his meal with Zelenka and his dry wit. He knew that without it, Zelenka would have been eaten alive by Rodney and this had been his saving grace on many occasions – for both Zelenka and other scientists.

“You’re thinking about him again, John,” Radek gently chided.

“Sorry,” John replied, sheepishly.

“We’re sparring tonight,” Ronon gruffly announced as he sat down next to Zelenka.

“Okay,” John replied at the incongruous interruption. “Is this a ploy to get Darby and me to get along better?”

“No,” Ronon replied as he began shoveling down his food. “We all need the practice. And I was told to tell you you’re not allowed to get out of it.”

Zelenka laughed as John groaned. “They certainly know how to get you, don’t they?” he asked.

“You have no idea,” John replied.

Darby and Teyla also joined them and exchanged greetings with everyone.

“Thanks for checking over my math, Colonel,” Darby said with a grateful smile before digging into his salad. “I really appreciate it, even if it’s not the most exciting project we’ve got going on.”

“You’re welcome,” John replied. “And Wraith darts are a much cooler project than Sorensen’s work on power conduits throughout the city.” Both he and Zelenka rolled their eyes at the same time and Darby laughed.

“You do have a point there,” Darby replied at the same time Zelenka commented with,“If I have to hear one more time about how fascinating they are…” Zelenka trailed off before shaking his head. “Your work is definitely appreciated by everyone, Colonel. But, I was wondering – how does Major Lorne feel about having to do all of the military reports?”

“Oh, the majority of them are already done,” John replied, between bites of his sandwich. “I did them a while ago. I don’t know how his reports are coming, though.”

Zelenka and Darby blinked at John in surprise.

“What?” he asked, in turn surprised by their surprise. “I need to have something to do now that I’m not spending all my time with Rodney. And I got bored after I finished War and Peace.”

“Thought you traded that,” Ronon replied, as he chewed thoughtfully.

“I did, but this was before I traded it. Needed something to do.”

“We would have gladly spent time with you if you were looking for companionship, John,” Teyla replied with a mixture of sadness and reproof.

“I really wasn’t,” John replied with a certain finality as Carson sat down next to him. “Hey, Carson,” he greeted him.

“Hello, John. Everyone,” Carson replied as he arranged the items on his tray. “How is everyone today?”

After a murmur of pleasantries, John said to him, “I finished that book you wanted last night, so I’ll bring it by later on.”

“Oh, wonderful,” Carson replied with a smile. “I hope I’ll have something to interest you in return.”

John shrugged casually. “Don’t worry about it if you don’t – it’s not like I’m keeping score on who’s loaning what.”

Zelenka stood. “I need to get back,” he said. “Who knows what state the labs are in, given how short everyone’s tempers are running right now. Colonel, I’ll see you when you get back. Everyone else, it was good to see you and I hope you all have a good rest of your day.”

“I should go too,” John replied after Zelenka had left. “If Zelenka returns without me, there might be a riot. Who knew I’d be so popular with the scientists?”

“Remember we’re sparring tonight,” Teyla told him firmly.

“I remember,” he replied. “Right after dinner?”

“As always.”

“I’ll be over after that to give you the book, Carson,” John told him.

Carson nodded. “I should be in my quarters by then.”

The clacking of Ronon’s staff against Teyla’s bantos sticks was a comforting and welcoming sound as John entered the practice room, carrying his bantos sticks and a bottle of water. The group sparring sessions had started soon after Darby had been added to the team as way to both help bring him up to speed in some of the finer points of hand-to-hand combat as well as to foster team bonding. John smiled to himself as he saw Darby off to the side, watching them go at it with rapt attention. John turned his attention to his sparring teammates as he wandered over to Darby and he had to admit that they did look very good together. John’s amazement at Ronon’s shooting accuracy and hand-to-hand ability with the Marines and Air Force pilots had worn off quite a while ago, but seeing Ronon’s skill with his Satedan staff was still a wonder for John. From his own sessions with Teyla, he knew that a lot more skill and control were needed and seeing Ronon’s force being so controlled was still surprising.

John nodded in acknowledgement to Darby as he leaned back against the wall next to him.

“You wouldn’t think to look at him that Ronon would be so skilled,” Darby commented quietly to him, not taking his eyes off their teammates.

“Ronon’s a man of hidden depths,” John replied easily.

“I’ve been finding that out,” Darby replied. “Though, it takes a while, considering how laconic he is.”

“I think it comes from being a Runner for so long – necessity takes precedence.”

“It’s rather refreshing – after listening to the scientists all day.”

John snorted. “Can’t disagree with you there. Though, I figured you’d be used to it by now.”

“Only enough that I can get my work done – still gives me a headache, though.”

“Now you know why I take my iPod with me and keep my head down during reports time.”

Darby chuckled. “You’re definitely a smarter man than you let on, Colonel.”

“It’s a good tactic,” John commented as his heart twisted. An unexpected memory flashed in his mind of a similar comment made by Rodney a long time ago and he pushed himself off the wall, needing to move – to get away. He was eternally grateful that Ronon and Teyla had finished, not wanting to give Darby the impression that he was fleeing. Their relationship was still little more tenuous at best – he didn’t need to damage it now.

“Ready, John?” Teyla asked as she easily swung one of her bantos sticks around her hand.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he replied, setting his water bottle down and taking one of his bantos sticks in each hand before stepping into the practice area.

He swung the sticks around a few times, getting used to the feel of them, before settling into a starting stance and nodding at Teyla. As they fought, John felt himself naturally center and his mind go quiet. This was one of the few times that he was able to block everything else out and concentrate on the present moment. He and Teyla finally came up in a draw and she nodded to him with a smile.

“Very good, John,” she said, approvingly, as they moved out of the way. “You are finally starting to really make progress.”

As John went over and took a swig of his water, he said, “Yeah, well, you beating my sorry ass every time we practice is bound to pay off sooner or later.”

Ronon snorted as he came out into the practice area. “Nice going,” he commented, clapping John on the shoulder as he passed by. “Maybe in a few more years you’ll actually beat her. Ready, Darby?”

Darby half-shrugged as he entered the practice area. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

As he and Ronon fought, John and Teyla settled on the window seat. “Darby has come quite far in his progress,” Teyla commented.

“Yeah, Ronon’s doing a good job with him,” John affirmed.

“Darby’s actually interested in sparring with him,” Teyla continued, “so I think that’s good for Ronon, which then reflects back to Darby.”

“The grunts don’t mind sparring with him,” John said, slightly indignant. “They just didn’t like that he could beat them all without breaking a sweat back in the beginning. Once they actually started listening to him, it got better.”

Heading to Carson’s later that evening, John ran his fingertips lightly along the walls whenever he was alone. He felt a weird sort of kinship with the city, comfortable with it in a way that he wasn’t with anyone else these days. He knew it was his own fault for allowing things to get to the point they had with his friends. But he had been so focused for so long that now he wasn’t sure how to let go of Rodney and move on. If the memorial service they’d held – at Elizabeth’s insistence – hadn’t helped, John wasn’t sure what would, short of actually seeing the body.

Through it all, the city had been a silent companion, allowing him to take out his frustration and sorrow without censure. And in return, John had mapped every inch of it in his spare time. He had gotten a harsh dressing down by Elizabeth several times in response due to potential hazards, but he hadn’t cared. It was the one thing he was able to do when the pain of losing Rodney was still too new and too raw that allowed him to feel even remotely normal and productive.

Long afternoons – and even a few full days – of just himself with a backpack containing a datapad, several extra batteries, his iPod, a couple sandwiches and a few water bottles, charting and fleshing out the city in the fledgling grid the scientists had devised when they had first arrived in the city and making notes of what things were, along with any problems he encountered were an unexpected balm on his open wounds. It was as if he were fulfilling a last wish – or something like it – for Rodney, who had always wanted to know what the city looked like in its entirety.

John hit the door chime when he arrived at Carson’s quarters, half expecting him to still be down in the infirmary trying to finish up some aspect of one of his projects before the databurst was scheduled to go through in a few days. But the door slid open a few seconds later and he heard Carson call for him to enter.

“Sorry,” Carson said as he finished pulling on a shirt. “I’ve just gotten out of the shower.”

“No problem,” John replied easily as he watched Carson put his dirty clothing away. “Here’s the book.”

“Oh, thanks,” Carson replied with a smile as he took it and put it on his desk. “Did you want to look through my collection and see if there was anything you wanted? It’s only fair.”

“No, thanks,” John replied. “I’ve got a few things from Liebmann that I need to read and give back to him. That one’s from Cadman.”

“I’ll be sure to return it to her,” Carson replied. “It’ll be a nice excuse to see the lass.”

“I thought you two were together,” John replied, curious.

Carson shook his head, a slightly sad look in his eyes. “We tried a few times, but we’ve found we work better as good friends than as lovers.” He chuckled softly. “It’s definitely not for lack of interest or trying on either of our parts, though.” Changing subjects, he said, “Can I get you something to drink, John? I don’t have much to offer, but that doesn’t mean I have to be a bad host.”

John chuckled. “I’m good. Just came from dinner.”

“Well, could you spare a minute or two to chat, then? You can’t tell me that you have to run at this time of evening. I know you’re all set on your work and I know Radek well enough to know he would’ve kicked you out of the labs for the rest of the day to preserve your sanity.”

John outright laughed at that. “You’re not wrong there. Zelenka does have certain ideas of what ‘respectable working hours’ are – even if they never apply to him. How are your projects coming?” he asked as Carson offered him a seat on the couch before sitting down on the edge of his bed.

“Not as quickly as I’d like,” Carson replied with a slight smile. “Though most of that’s due to simulations I’m running and me being antsy to get on with the research than anything else. Things are finally starting to pick up and some of the enthusiasm from when I started has returned. While the databursts do add a bit of craziness to our normal level of pandemonium, I will admit that they do help keep me and my staff fairly up-to-date on things.”

John laughed. “I think you’re the only one who thinks that. You should hear the scientists grumbling.”

“But I bet you’re their darling. You get the math and you’ve got enough brains to understand what they’re doing.”

“Most of the time,” John replied, making a face. “Some of them are a bit out there. But I do enjoy the math part of it and most of it is interesting – once I’ve gotten the scientists’ shorthand translated into something like full-formed thoughts.”

“Do you miss going off-world as much?” Carson asked as he shifted and leaned back on his hands.

“Sometimes,” John admitted. “Though I still miss flying more. But it’s good having enough teams that we’re not stretched so thin. I take the Jumpers out when I can, but…”

“It’s never enough,” Carson supplied. “I know what you mean. We live on an ocean and my chances to go fishing seem rarer than a blue moon.”

There was a comfortable lull in the conversation and John took the chance to look over his friend. He did genuinely care and worry about him, even though Carson had acclimated to his disabilities fairly well. Carson looked good, relaxed even, for being in one of their blitz periods with paperwork and John was glad that he’d found a balance with his work.

Carson finally broke the silence with, “Elizabeth thinks you should see Kate.”

“Elizabeth thinks a lot of things about me,” John replied, trying to not sound bitter.

“I agree with her,” Carson said gently. “You may be functioning, John, but you’re not really living.”

“What is Heightmeyer honestly going to do?” John asked, anger coloring his voice. “She can’t bring him back.”

“No, she can’t. But she can help you get through this loop you’ve gotten yourself stuck in.”

John sighed. “I’d rather not, Carson.”

Carson pinched the bridge of his nose. “You can be as evasive as you’d like, John, but I have a feeling this will bite you in the ass sooner rather than later.”

The bite in the ass came a few weeks later after a mostly successful first-contact mission. Things had gone great and there had even been an agreement to begin talks of entering a trading partnership. Things had gone south when John had, at the last minute, flashed his picture of Rodney and asked if they had seen him. The Zaris, who had a strong aversion to any sort of visual reproduction of people, had hustled them through the ‘Gate so quickly that John’s head was spinning when they reached the other side. Teyla, who had been the last one through, had reported that there was a very slim possibility that they could patch things up with the Zaris, but it would be tough.

Once the debriefing was done, John tried to bolt, but Elizabeth called him back. “You are going to see Dr. Heightmeyer immediately and start resolving this issue,” she commanded in a tone that brooked no argument.

“I’ve told you I don’t need to see Heightmeyer,” John insisted.

“You’ve probably cost us a trade relationship with the Zaris!” Elizabeth replied angrily. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but there’s a definite lack of fresh meat here and an agreement with the Zaris would go a long way to fix that. Now, I will grant that you have the right to destroy yourself however you see fit, but I will *not* allow you to take the rest of the expedition with you.”

“Elizabeth…” John pleaded.

“I’m serious, John. You are going to see Kate if I need to have you escorted there.”

“I don’t need an escort and I don’t need to see Heightmeyer,” John replied shortly.

“I’m not budging on this, John,” Elizabeth replied firmly. “Either you can go see Kate under your own power, or I’ll call an escort to make sure you go and that you actually stay.”

“I don’t need an escort and I don’t need to see Heightmeyer,” John replied just as firmly.

Elizabeth held his gaze as she tapped her radio and John suddenly realized that she was very serious. “Major Lorne? Could you please send two Marines up to my office?” There was a slight pause on the private channel while Lorne responded. “No, everything’s all right.” She paused and her gaze flicked up to John’s face. He could tell she was debating on what to say. “Lt. Col. Sheppard needs some assistance in getting to Dr. Heightmeyer’s office.” And then there was another pause for another reply. “Thank you.”

She clicked to another channel. “Dr. Heightmeyer?” After a pause for a reply, she said, “Do you have any patients this afternoon?” There was a slight pause. “Okay. Lt. Col. Sheppard will be down shortly.” There was a slight pause before she said, “Yes, thank you.”

Elizabeth clicked the talk mode off before folding her hands in front of her on her desk. “I really am doing this for your own good, John, and you can hate me for it, but since you won’t help yourself, I feel like I have to do it before you actually harm someone else.”

John clenched the armrests of his chair with his hands and didn’t say anything as the confused Marines entered. He stood silently and, casting a mulish look Elizabeth’s way, he exited with the two Marines following behind.

Once they were outside Heightmeyer’s office, John dismissed the Marines, knowing Lorne wouldn’t command them to guard the door if Elizabeth didn’t order it, and knowing that Elizabeth would know if he didn’t stay and would continually send him back until he complied. It would be far better to make nice, get it over with and have Heightmeyer on his side.

John took a deep breath and slowly exhaled before entering Kate Heightmeyer’s office, idly wondering if this trepidation and anger were how prisoners felt going to their death.

Kate greeted him with a warm smile as he entered, coming from around her desk to greet him formally. “Good afternoon, Col. Sheppard,” she said, shaking his hand. “Please have a seat,” she gestured to the couch before going back to her desk to retrieve a pen and pad of paper.

“Now,” she said, as she settled in the chair across from the couch. “Maybe you can shed some light on why you think Elizabeth had you come here.”

John stared at her stubbornly for several minutes and slouched further down on the couch before replying, “She wants you to help me sort out my feelings for Rodney so that I don’t do something stupid and hurt someone else. And, for the record, no one got hurt on Zari and the trade talks weren’t permanently damaged. Besides, how was I to know they don’t approve of physical representations of people?”

Kate made a note before asking, “Do you think your continued determination to find Dr. McKay is good or bad?”

John gave her a ‘what the hell…?’ look before replying, “Good.”

“Why?” she asked, not caving under his gaze.

“Because no one else seems to think it’s a good idea.”

“It has been two and a half years, John. Most people by this point would concede that the chances of finding him are quite slim. What do your teammates think?”

“Ronon doesn’t say anything and Teyla’s been keeping her thoughts to herself. Though, she did at one point ask if I thought it was a wise decision to continue.”

“When was this?” Kate asked, making another note.

“About six months after.”

Changing tacks, Kate asked, “How have you been sleeping?”

“Fine,” John replied.

“And your eating habits?”

“Haven’t changed.”

“Have there been any physical changes or changes in habit since Rodney went MIA?” she asked.

“No.” There really hadn’t been any changes. The only difference was his driving focus had become finding Rodney.

“I’m simply trying to rule out any physical causes, John.”

“Physical causes for what?” John asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“Your actions. Sometimes certain behaviors that look like psychological problems are really caused by physical problems or environmental changes and it’s been found to be more effective to rule those things out first before psychological treatment is started.” She let John digest that for a moment before continuing, “Any changes in environment – cleaners, food, anything?”

John let out a bark of a laugh before rolling his eyes and leveling a disbelieving look at her. “Really, *Kate*? Those things have hardly changed since we’ve gotten here. And I think that by now it would be more than just me acting differently if that was the case.”

Kate shrugged noncommittally. “You do have the strongest ATA gene, John. Given how little we know about how it works and its effects on the person who carries it, and the fact that we’re in Atlantis, I’d say anything is possible.”

“So my insane drive to find Rodney after all this time could be chalked up to something making my ATA gene make me act weird? I think you’re reaching, Doctor.”

“Maybe so,” she conceded with a laugh. “And until Carson finds anything to support or discredit that, we’ll have to ignore it as we have for decades. Now, I’m sure you want to prove to Elizabeth that you’re not crazy and I would like nothing more than to be able to say that your strong preoccupation with finding Rodney has no bearing on your ability to do your duties, other cultures who don’t understand not withstanding. So why don’t we get started?”

When John left Kate’s office a few hours later, he felt completely brain dead. He was fairly certain she could give his old drill sergeant a run for his money. She didn’t let John get away with anything and would wait silently until he answered her questions – in some cases for several minutes. John was also definitely certain that she now knew things about him that no one else had ever known – not even Nancy. But in the end, they had gotten what they wanted. Kate had pronounced him as mentally healthy as someone who would willingly stay in Atlantis could be and that his desire to find Rodney had no bearing on his ability to function as the military commander of the expedition or as the head of a ‘Gate team. But before he left, she had given him a gentle admonishment to be careful in searching for Rodney and another appointment to come see her.

John wearily trudged to the mess hall, hoping there would be something left to eat. The room was mostly empty, which he was grateful for, and he was thankful that there was still an array of food left as he filled a tray.

“You look about how I feel, John,” Carson said as he sat down across from John. “What’s your excuse?”

“Elizabeth made me see Heightmeyer,” John replied between bites of a sandwich.

“And?” Carson asked, expectantly.

“I’m as sane and functional as someone who would willingly come to Atlantis and stay can be.”

Carson laughed and relaxed. “That’s good to know. I’d hate for there to be something seriously wrong with you.”

“You and me both,” John agreed. “But things are okay, I think. Have you started the book yet?”

“I can’t put it down,” Carson replied. “I see why it’s so popular with everyone.”

As they continued their discussion, John slowly relaxed and for one fleeting second thought that just maybe he was okay with what things had become.

“Congratulations, Rodney-kun!” Jillian said with a grin as she came into their quarters on the evening of the first day of the tenth month festival. “You’ve been chosen to take part in the auction.”

“No Lapran has had that honor in a number of cycles,” Kirby added as he entered after her.

“Auction?” Rodney asked, his eyes narrowing in confusion. “I don’t remember an auction at the last tenth month festival.”

“They’re usually really boring. That’s probably why we didn’t mention it to you,” Jillian replied as she popped a grape-like fruit in her mouth and offered the bag of them to Rodney. “But I’m sure this year’s will be interesting with you being in it.”

Rodney looked at Kirby as he absently took a handful of the not-grapes. “So, what’s up with the auction?”

“Because of your lead in the attack against the Korsans, the other tribes are interested in your help. I don’t know in what capacity, though. I’m sure it depends on which tribe ends up winning you. But this is a great honor.”

“So you’ve said,” Rodney replied nonchalantly as he popped another piece of fruit in his mouth. “So, when’s the auction?”

“At the beginning of the third week,” Kirby replied as he began rooting through his medicine bag. “Between now and then, you’ll have the representatives from each tribe asking you questions and evaluating you to see if you’re what they’re looking for.”

“What else goes up for auction?” Rodney asked. “Any other people?”

“Usually, yes. Anyone who has distinguished themselves in some way in the past cycle is put up for auction. It’s a way for the tribes to share knowledge and services. Otherwise, there’s various type of technology, products and services – just about anything you can think of goes up for auction. Do you know what happened to the tiri leaves, Rodney-kun?” he asked in exasperation.

“We’re all out,” Rodney replied as he finished up the fruit. “You gave the last of it to Lillian for Leah’s stomach ache.” Rodney stood. “I’m going to go see if I can find Kelly so I can tell him. Would you like me to get some more while I’m out?”

“He’s with the Morykons,” Jillian supplied. “Kevin’s with them again.”

“Thanks,” Rodney replied as he pulled on his robe, not sure how to feel about that. He didn’t want to be jealous, especially of someone who would be leaving at the end of the month, if not sooner, but even with the forced separation, they still had a lot more history between the two of them than Rodney had with Kelly.

“Would you, please? Think you can find your way?” Kirby asked, looking up from his bag.

“Are things laid out the same way as last year?” Rodney asked as he pulled on his boots.

“Yes,” Kirby replied. “They stay the same every year.”

“Then I should be fine. What should I tell the Morykons?”

“Tell them I’ll settle with them tomorrow.”

Rodney nodded and headed out of their borough and into the sunlight, pausing for a moment to let his eyes adjust. He instinctively looked up to the sky as soon as they had, searching for what, he didn’t know. He entered the maze of campsites that were in various stages of disarray as they were being set up and said hello to a few people who seemed to remember him from the last festival. It was oddly comforting that they remembered him and Rodney couldn’t help but smile as he approached the Morykons’ camp.

“Good evening to the people of Morykos,” Rodney called out.

“Good evening to a son of,” there was a slight pause as an unfamiliar head stuck out of the curtain and the man’s gaze swept over Rodney, “a son of Lapras. What can I do for you?”

“Is Kelly of Lapras here?” Rodney asked.

“No, I’m sorry, he’s not. He and Kevin went for a walk. They didn’t say anything about where they were going or how long they’d be gone.”

“Who is it, Neil?” a female voice inside asked.

“It’s a Lapran, by the name of Rodney,” Neil replied, turning to look back inside the tent.

“Oh, yes,” Rodney heard the woman reply. “He’s Kelly’s bound friend. Let him in and then go make sure Joseph isn’t wrecking the vases.”

Neil turned back to Rodney and said, “Please, come in,” opening the curtain for Rodney to enter.

Rodney entered gratefully, glad to be out of the awkward situation. “Hello,” he paused for a moment, trying to remember the name of the woman in front of him. “Natalia?” he asked.

She nodded with a smile as she approached him. “It’s good to see you again, Rodney of the Laprans.” She put a hand on his cheek and smiled at him affectionately and Rodney returned the gesture. “You look well.”

“So, um, so do you,” Rodney replied, trying to remember the way pleasantries had started last year. “Has the cycle treated you well?”

She gave a slight nod. “It has. I have two new grandchildren.”

“I hope they are healthy. I, um,” Rodney blushed. “I got engaged.”

Natalia grinned. “Congratulations. I wish many blessings on you and your wife.”

“Thank you,” Rodney replied. “So, I gather Kelly and Kevin aren’t here.”

Natalia looked at him apologetically. “I’m sorry, but they left just before you arrived. I’m surprised the three of you didn’t see each other. You’re welcome to stay here and wait if you’d like. I doubt they’ll be long. Kevin knows he has duties to attend to.”

“If you don’t mind, I do have a bit of business to attend to with you. Kirby needs some more tiri leaves.”

“Not a problem,” Natalia replied pleasantly. “And should I assume he said he’d settle with me tomorrow?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Let me go get some,” she said as she headed to the curtain obstructing the view of the next room. “I’ll give you some now to hold his patient over until morning and I’ll give him the rest tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Natalia.”

She disappeared into the other room and Rodney looked around, taking in the surprisingly familiar surroundings. He heard people moving about outside and listened intently for Kelly’s voice. He finally heard it as Natalia came back into the common room and he inwardly sighed in relief as he thanked her and took the leaves, stowing them in an inside pocket of his robe.

Kelly and Kevin entered, laughing, and Rodney felt a slight pang of jealousy at how easily they were able to fall back into their old routine. They both noticed Rodney at the same time and Kelly grinned.

“Rodney-chan!” he said, immediately crossing to him. “I was hoping I’d see you tonight, but I thought you had to help Kirby-sensei.”

“No,” Rodney replied. “It was pretty quiet tonight, so Kirby-sensei didn’t take me with him.”

“I wish I had known so I wouldn’t have had to answer all of Kevin’s questions about what you’ve been doing this past cycle and you could have done it yourself.”

“It’s good to see you again, Rodney,” Kevin added, closing the distance between them and touching Rodney’s face with his hands in greeting. Rodney returned the gesture a little uneasily. “From what Kelly’s said, you’ve had a wonderful cycle. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.”

“Thank you,” Rodney replied. “I still can’t quite believe it’s going to happen.”

“And he’s been courting her for most of the past cycle and becoming engaged has been a definite time user for most of that time,” Kelly added.

“I don’t know if I’d say *that*,” Rodney replied.

“But Jaelyn is a good woman and I’m sure she’ll make you a good wife,” Kevin replied. He glanced at Natalia, who had busied herself making dinner. “I better go finish my duties. I’ll talk to you both later. It was good seeing you both.”

After they exited the tent, Kelly said, “I really am sorry I didn’t double-check with you about what you were doing, Rodney-chan.”

“Don’t worry about it, Kelly,” Rodney replied. “I’m glad you got to spend some time alone with him. Just because things have changed doesn’t mean you should disregard what you were to each other.” He gave Kelly a reassuring smile. “And I’m sure that if you didn’t do it, at some point I would have made you.”

As they walked along and greeted people, stopping to talk to each other, Rodney felt the apprehension and jealous seep out of him. He knew it was childish to feel that way about someone who wasn’t a threat, but he had to chalk it up to an old habit that hadn’t quite died yet.

“I’m sensing something’s up,” Kelly commented as they started to make their way home. “What is it?”

Rodney shrugged casually, not wanting to mention that he’d been brooding about the auction for the past few minutes.

“Come on, Rodney-chan. I know you better than that, so you might as well tell me.”

“I’ve been put into the auction,” Rodney mumbled.

Kelly grinned. “That’s great, Rodney-chan! A Lapran hasn’t been part of the auction for many cycles.”

“But I don’t want to leave Lapras,” Rodney told him. “It was hard enough adjusting to being here after having to adjust to being on Atlantis. I don’t know if I could do it again.”

“We both know you’re a surprisingly resilient person, Rodney-chan. I’m sure that if you had to relocate, you could adapt just fine. But I wouldn’t worry about it. Most times, the tribe that wins someone only wants them for a specific purpose and is more than happy to let them stay with their people.”

“And the ‘not most times’?” Rodney asked, worried.

Kelly shrugged. “Most of those times it’s because the service is location specific. And it’s not like they don’t let you – or whoever – visit your home planet and your family.”

‘Unlike all of you,’ came the unbidden and bitter thought, which Rodney quickly pushed down. “Any ideas what I might be offered for? Or is that something that’s matched up later – like, ‘Oh, they’re from Lapras, let’s ask them to make silk’?”

“The person being offered has made some sort of distinction in the past cycle and the service that is being offered – which is determined by the inter-tribal council – usually relates to whatever the person is distinctive for. So, I’d guess your offer will either be in fighting tactics or how to use the Ancestors’ technology, or possibly both.”

“And, um, have the Korsans come back?” Rodney asked quietly, glancing around to see who was around, unsure if he actually wanted to hear the answer.

“I’ve heard that they’re back, but I haven’t seen or heard from them,” Kelly replied, glancing around as well.

“Think they’ll do something now that they’re here?”

Kelly shook his head. “They wouldn’t be stupid enough to do something out in the open. The other tribes don’t know the extent of what they’ve been doing to us and that they’ve also been doing it to the Morykons and Nagdalis. And if they found out, the Korsans would face very severe penalties and would more than likely get kicked out all together from the tribal league. So it’s in their best interests to not do anything right now.”

“I’m doing my best to not say anything that would jinx our luck,” Rodney replied.

“Please don’t,” Kelly said as they entered their borough. “I think we would all like for things to stay like they’ve been this past cycle. You should probably go find Jaelyn. I’m sure she’ll want to spend time with you before the festival starts and you have everyone wanting to get to know you.”

“Yeah, I should,” Rodney replied as he stamped his boots. He grinned. “Maybe one of these days it’ll sink in that we’re actually engaged.”

“And then it’ll be after the wedding,” Kelly replied with a laugh.

“Which would figure,” Rodney replied with a laugh of his own. “I’ll see you later, Kelly.”

Rodney went into his quarters and gave Kirby the tiri leaves before taking off his robe and boots and putting them away and putting on his moccasins. He passed on Jillian’s offer of food and headed over to Jaelyn’s quarters.

As he was about to announce his presence, Jaelyn exited her family’s quarters and drew in a sharp breath of surprise when she saw him. She laughed, “I’m sorry, Rodney-chan. I didn’t see you. I was just about to come find you.”

“Well, here I am,” Rodney replied, opening his arms wide and grinning.

Jaelyn smiled. “Care to take a walk?”

“Sure,” Rodney replied.

“Have you been out to see anyone?” she asked as they started strolling along the outside edge of the commons.

Rodney nodded as he replied, “I went to the Morykons and saw Neil, Natalia and Kevin. I didn’t really talk with anyone else, though, aside from Kelly. But it looks like everything’s getting set up according to schedule. Did you want to go out and see who’s here? I’m sure your parents will let us.” He laughed. “And I’m sure your grandparents will shoo us out before your parents have a chance to answer.”

“No, it’s all right,” she replied. “I’m sure I’ll see everyone tomorrow. Besides, it’s probably best we stay out of their way so they can set up and give them a chance to get everything done by the end of the day.”

“How are you coming with your part of the wedding plans?” he asked.

“I’m working on it. I know it’s not the traditional thing to do, but would you mind terribly if I asked you for some help? I don’t know if I’ll need it, but depending on how things go with the glass orders we get in and considering I’m training an apprentice…” She trailed off and shrugged.

“Sure,” Rodney replied. “I don’t know how much help I’d be, considering how new I am to all of these marriage customs. Hell, I was bad enough trying to remember them back on Atlantis.”

“I’m sure you could do it, Rodney-chan, considering how well you’ve done with everything else you’ve set your mind to here.”

“We’ll see. I do have duties I need to attend to as well. But we’ll see how much I can get done with the auction and go from there.”

“Auction?” she asked, curious. “What about the auction?”

“Kirby told me they want me to take part in the auction this festival because of what I did in leading the offense against the Korsans.”

“Good for you,” she replied calmly and Rodney was surprised in the difference in reaction between her and everyone else.

They reached her quarters and, as Rodney started to go a second time around, she stopped at her doorway. “I think I’m going to go in, Rodney-chan. I don’t feel well.”

“What’s wrong?” Rodney asked, immediately concerned.

She waved him off. “I’m just tired. I’m sure I’ll feel fine in the morning. Good night, Rodney-chan.”

“Good night, Jaelyn,” he replied. “I hope you feel better in the morning.”

“Thank you.”

The next day, Kirby sent Rodney on a list of errands to various tribes around the encampment. For the most part, he was just calling on the different tribes and exchanging various herbs and other medicinal remedies. At first, everyone looked at him speculatively, but when they found out that he was Kirby’s apprentice, that seemed to open the doors completely for him.

And Rodney found that they warmed up to him quickly. While during the previous festival he had been content to hang in the background while Kirby handled the transactions and answered questions, and Kirby and the tradespeople from the other tribes had been willing to let him, they didn’t let him out of it this time, asking him questions about various medicines and if he could look at this or that or what could cause various bodily functions to change. Rodney answered the questions as best he could, but when the questions truly stumped him, Rodney referred them back to Kirby. On the way back to his quarters, as his head slowly stopped spinning from all the questions, he idly wondered if the questioning had begun for the auction, or if this is what Kirby normally had to deal with when he went out on his rounds during the festival.

When Rodney got back to his quarters at lunchtime, Jillian said, “You’ve already had a few people here looking for you. They’re pretty excited to get to know you better.”

“What should I do?” Rodney asked Kirby as Jillian handed him a bowl of stew.

“We told them to come by after dinner,” Kirby replied. “You can answer their questions then. That’s when most people come by to ask their questions anyway. It’s tradition for the people being auctioned to devote some time in the early evenings to allow people who might be interested in them to come question them in their quarters.”

“How many nights does this take place?”

Kirby shrugged. “As many as necessary. I’ve heard some people only have one or two nights of questioning, and others go from the beginning of the festival right up to when the auction takes place.”

Laura hailed them from outside and Rodney went to admit her. “Would you like some food?” he asked once she had entered.

“No, thank you,” she replied. “I’ve already eaten. I came to see if you were available so you could come with me to deliver some of the items we’ve made. I thought you might enjoy meeting them and getting a sense of who we made things for.”

Rodney looked to Kirby, who said, “I have nothing pressing that I need you to deal with, Rodney-kun. Besides, I think it’ll be good for you to go with Laura and meet some of your clients.”

Rodney quickly finished the rest of his stew and cleaned himself up before joining Laura at the doorway.

She laughed and shook her head as they exited and said, “Your exuberance is an endearing quality.”

Rodney smiled as he picked up one of the large bags that were waiting outside. They traveled all over the encampment and Rodney revisited practically everyone he had seen that morning as they dropped off various items. Everyone they met with was delighted with the workmanship of the items and thanked them profusely as they gave Rodney and Laura the items that Laura had previously negotiated in exchange for their work. And Rodney couldn’t help but blush when Laura told certain customers that he had been the one to make their item and they praised him for it.

On their way back to their village that evening, Laura said, “I hope you weren’t too embarrassed by what I did. I wanted to make sure you were given the credit you deserved.”

“It was just unexpected,” he replied, truthfully. And he couldn’t help but think how odd it was that once he had craved the admiration and praise of everyone around him, but now he was content with staying in the background and letting others take the credit. He wondered how much of it was due to the meditation sessions, first with Kirby and then by himself, to let go of a lot of the negative things in his past, and how much was due to the fact that the Laprans had a tendency to praise and affirm quickly and not hold grudges.

When they got back to Rodney’s quarters, Laura gave him a fair portion of the items they had been given.

“I don’t deserve all of this,” Rodney told her, looking at all the different foodstuffs, cookware, lamp oil, and clothing dye.

“It’s a fair share for the work you did, Rodney,” Laura replied. “And it’ll help you prepare for your life with Jaelyn. I’m proud of the work you’ve done and the progress you’ve made in this past cycle.”

“Thank you, Laura,” Rodney replied. “Let me know if there’s anyway I can repay you.”

Laura laughed. “I just expect you to do the same when you have your own apprentices. I need to get back to my quarters and put these things away. I’ll talk with you later about coming with me for our next set of orders, so you can learn the negotiation process. Goodnight, Kirby and Jillian.”

“It seems that you’re doing quite well for yourself,” Kirby commented as Rodney started putting things away after Laura had left. “Even after your rocky start.”

“‘Rocky start’ is putting it lightly,” Rodney commented as Jillian helped him put everything away. She took the food and oil, but wouldn’t let him give her the cookware. “Your pot’s cracked,” Rodney stated, pointing at the offending item hanging over the fire.

“And I’m getting a new one, Rodney-kun” Jillian replied, exasperated. “This is meant to be for you and Jaelyn. Besides, you earned it.”

“And I want to contribute to this family,” he replied, equally exasperated. “I feel like I’ve done nothing but take from both of you since I got here three cycles ago.”

“Rodney-kun,” Kirby said in a tone that made Rodney look at him, “please keep the cookware. We understood what we were getting into when we took you in and we did it willingly. And now that you are coming into your own, you can begin contributing to our family. But you must understand that you also need to think ahead and begin planning for your new life with Jaelyn.”

“I seem to be the only one doing it,” Rodney muttered.

Kirby and Jillian gave him a confused look, but didn’t say anything as Rodney sat down next to Jillian and she handed him a plate of food and someone hailed them from outside.

“That would be Natalia and Dom’yan,” Kirby said as he moved to admit them. Rodney put his plate aside, but Kirby said, “They won’t mind if you continue eating. Just don’t talk with your mouth full.”

‘And it’s still good to know some things don’t change cross cultures,’ Rodney thought to himself with a small chuckle as he resumed eating. Jillian gave him a curious look and he just shook his head, still smiling.

Jillian and Rodney greeted their newcomers as they entered and Rodney saw that it wasn’t just Natalia and Dom’yan, but also they each had another person from their respective tribes with them. The foursome seated themselves around the fire along with Jillian and Rodney and Kirby reseated himself next to Rodney. Jillian offered them all food, but they all declined.

“First off, Rodney,” Natalia began, “we wanted to thank you for what you did for us at the end of last festival.”

“We’re all very grateful for your courage to take on the Korsans,” Dom’yan added.

“Have they given either of your tribes any trouble since then?” Rodney asked.

All four of them shook their heads. “They haven’t even spoken to anyone from either of our tribes today,” Natalia said, “and they’ve crossed our paths a couple different times.”

Dom’yan glanced at Natalia before adding, “Our members who have seen them said that the Korsans gave them a sour look, but didn’t approach them or talk to them. They actually went out of their way to avoid them.”

“The Korsans are a highly superstitious people, though,” Kirby interjected. “They probably think that someone from one of our tribes put a curse on them. And until they figure out which tribe was responsible, they’re going to be wary of all of us.”

“This is very true,” Natalia replied. “We should gather together with the rest of your elders before the festival is over and consider a course of action if and when they do figure out who’s responsible and take a course of action.”

Kirby nodded. “I’ll talk with the rest of the elders and we’ll get in touch with all of you so we can plan our response.” He looked at Rodney. “And I’m sure Rodney will be willing to help us.”

“Of course,” Rodney replied, nodding. “I’d be happy to.”

“In that mindset, may we ask you some questions, Rodney?” Natalia asked.

“Certainly,” Rodney answered, after quickly swallowing a bite of meat. “Fire away.”

The four newcomers looked at him, confused, but Natalia recovered quickly and continued, “How did you know what to do fight off the Korsans?”

“In which respect?” Rodney asked. “Keeping them from coming to your worlds, or defending ourselves from them?”

“Both.”

Rodney shrugged casually as he balanced his plate in his lap. “I’ve worked with similar technology among my native people, so figuring out how yours worked was pretty simple. Though, I will admit that I wasn’t completely certain if it would work until the Korsans actually tried to use it. And my native people are also much more confrontational than the Laprans, so it’s necessary for everyone to have some knowledge of self-defense, as well as instigation. So, for me it was common sense to know what to do when they came. And the fact that most of the Laprans had a basic knowledge of how to use staffs, it made it easy to build on that.”

They took that in before Dom’yan asked, “Do you miss your native people?”

“*Of course* I do,” Rodney replied, “I spent most of my life among them and I had expected to live the rest of it there as well. So, obviously, getting stranded here was definitely a surprise. But, while I wish I had a chance to say good-bye to them and let them know I’m okay, I’m otherwise happy here with Kirby and Jillian and the rest of the Laprans.”

“Do you have any qualms about teaching our peoples how to fight?” Natalia asked.

“No,” Rodney responded. “I think that everyone should know how to defend themselves against the Wraith and whatever other threats may turn up.”

“How have your people fought against the Wraith?” Dom’yan asked, intrigued.

Rodney grimaced. “We’re still working out the best way to do it. Usually we do the best we can every time they attack us. But we’ve found full-on confrontation does work to some extent, even if we only take a few out at a time. I have a feeling they’re not used to their food fighting back.”

“You’re right about that,” Natalia agreed. “Your people do have a certain amount of gumption to take the Wraith head-on.”

“Or a high level of stupidity,” Dom’yan added. “Not many people would consider it a good idea to actually fight against the Wraith or take it in stride as your people seem to have done from the way you talk.”

Rodney shrugged again, his food forgotten. “I think it comes from the same place that everyone else’s decision comes from. In many cases, it makes more sense to hide or flee in order to survive being culled by the Wraith. In our case, it made more sense to fight.”

“And you certainly have a high degree of adaptability,” Natalia stated. “It sounds like your native people have a higher level of technology than the Laprans do, but you were still able to hold off the Korsans and actually make them leave without taking anything.”

Rodney felt his cheeks heat at the indirect compliment. “I feel like I did what I needed to do to protect those I care about. Any good fighter knows that you take into account what you have available and you use it as best you can.”

Rodney felt his chest tighten a bit at the sudden memory of the combat training that Elizabeth had made the entire scientist team take over their first few months in Atlantis. She had also put Sheppard in charge of handling what the scientists had to learn and who would teach them. Surprisingly, he still remembered the excited expression on Ford’s face when he taught them about explosives.

“Are you okay, Rodney-kun?” Jillian asked softly.

Rodney shook himself out of his memory. “Yeah,” he replied. “I was just reminded of something.” He looked at the delegation across from him. “Sorry. Please continue.”

Natalia and Dom’yan continued going back and forth asking him a few more questions about what he knew and telling him a bit about how their tribes worked and what sorts of suggestions he had for them, as a preventative measure, if the Korsans did in fact attack them again. Rodney was happy to help them and easily gave them his advice, while, in the back of his mind, he wondered what would happen if the Korsans figured out that a Lapran had been the one to rig their ‘Gate device so it wouldn’t dial either of the three worlds. He made a mental note to start planning for that eventuality.

Eventually, the questioning turned into more casual conversation and Rodney felt himself relax, grateful that the “interview” was finally over. While he didn’t participate in much of the conversation, Rodney enjoyed the flow of conversation around him and felt it lull him into a sleepy state, the likes of which he hadn’t felt in a very long time – if ever.

He roused when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up, bleary-eyed, to find Jillian standing over him with a warm, and slightly amused, smile. “It’s time for bed, Rodney-kun,” she said quietly.

“But what –?” He looked around, confused, for their guests.

“They’ve just left,” she replied with a chuckle. “Don’t worry – they weren’t offended. Go to bed.”

Rodney nodded sleepily and carefully made his way to bed, where he collapsed gratefully and was back asleep before his head hit the pillow.

“And why aren’t you doing this with your dad?” Rodney asked Kelly, as he helped him carry his wares to his clients.

“One of the yaks has taken sick,” Kelly replied, adjusting the strap on one of his bags. “He needed to stay with it and nurse it through. How’s the questioning coming?”

“Let’s not go there. I think some of these people are certifiably insane. I got asked if I preferred turnips or beets. I didn’t like beets before I went to Russia and even less after I ate borscht the first time. And turnips are just nasty.”

Kelly laughed. “You’re amusing when you get riled up.”

“You would be too, if you put up with some of the things I’ve had to. Isn’t it hard for you to take care of the yaks and then schlep things made from them to customers?”

Kelly shrugged. “It’s a way of life, Rodney. Do you feel the same way about the silkworms?”

Rodney gave him an ‘are you insane?’ look. “*No*. For one, I don’t work on that part of the production and another – they’re insects. While I totally respect their position in the economic stability of this world, that doesn’t mean I actually like them. The yaks, on the other hand…. You have to admit they’ve got some winning qualities when you get past the hair and the stench.”

Kelly laughed. “Okay, I’ll admit that, yes, I do become attached them. But it’s a fact of life that one day I’m going to eat them and use the rest of the remains to make life better for someone – whether that be myself or my dad, another Lapran, or someone from one of the other tribes. Just like you and your ‘insects’ do with your weaving.”

Rodney had to admit that he did admire the work Kelly and his father did with the yak remains. He knew that they used as much as possible of the animals and the resulting products were definitely works of art. It had just never hit home before that the animals he saw Kelly taking care of equaled these items and part of his diet. No wonder some people became vegetarians.

“How’re things going with Jaelyn and the wedding?” Kelly asked as they made their way home that evening.

Rodney shrugged half-heartedly. “Okay, I guess. I haven’t really seen her much this month. I’ve been doing what I can to get things ready for us to get married, but it’s tough when I want her feedback on the decisions I’m making and she’s nowhere to be found.”

“Well, I think you might get a chance now.”

Rodney followed Kelly’s gaze and saw Jaelyn and Jennifer returning from another part of the encampment. Jennifer waved to them and Kelly returned the wave.

When they met the women, Rodney asked, “Jaelyn, may I speak with you privately?”

“Sure, Rodney-chan,” she replied, smiling. They waited until Kelly and Jennifer were a few steps ahead of them. “What is it?”

“I’m just worried,” Rodney said, turning to look at her. “If you don’t want to go through with the wedding, you just have to say so.”

Jaelyn gave him an astonished look. “What makes you think that I don’t want to go through with it?”

“Well,” Rodney hesitated. “I know that the festival’s kept everyone busy with obligations and all, but I’ve hardly seen you this past week and a half and when I do see you and mention the wedding, you become evasive.”

She looked at him darkly. “Maybe I become evasive because I get enough talk of the wedding at home. That’s all my entire family talks about! Maybe I want some time where I can talk about other things – normal things.”

“Well, pardon me for not knowing that because we never talk about it!” Rodney replied sharply. “But when someone’s getting married, the tendency is to think that the person they’re getting married to would be concerned about the wedding as well!” He looked around before lowering his voice. “If you’re just staging this for everyone else’s benefit and there’s really someone else, that’s fine. I completely understand.”

“There isn’t anyone else, Rodney-chan!” she bit out harshly. “I just –” She cut herself off and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I can’t talk about this right now.”

She strode past Kelly and Jennifer and they both turned back and looked at Rodney, perplexed. Rodney shrugged and gave them his best “your guess is as good as mine” look.

“So, what do you think of the whole questioning process?” Kelly asked as they ate dinner.

Rodney laughed. “It has its moments. I swear, some of the questions are the basis for rejected Monty Python skits, they’re so absurd. I just can’t decide who I’d like to win me. What do you think, Kelly?”

“Rodney-kun,” Kirby gently chided. “It’s not nice to talk that way – it might be considered tempting fate. Plus, it’s tacky.”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “You know I don’t really believe in that.” He turned his attention back to Kelly. “I hope it’s not the Deegans. They scare me a bit.”

“Why?” Kelly asked. “Is it because they have a reputation of using people as studs and brood mares?”

“As much as I like sex,” at Kirby’s sharp look, Rodney amended, “as much as I liked sex prior to coming here, and while I strongly believe that someone of my superior intellectual prowess should pass on their genes to the next generation, being reduced to a sperm-producing machine is a level I don’t wish to fall to.”

“Then which tribe would you like to have win you?” Jillian asked.

Rodney shrugged. “There are a few that seem to have at least some level of technology. At least one does, since they came up with the portable ‘Gate dialers. I prefer one of them, if only to use the skills I accrued prior to coming here.”

“You do realize you won’t have a final say in who gets you or what they’ll ask of you, right?” Kelly asked. “For all we know, you’ll go to one of those groups and they’ll want you to help beef up their fighting skills and then reproduce with one of them in the hopes that you’ll pass on your knowledge to them through your child.”

“Don’t worry him, Kelly,” Jillian gently reproved, at Rodney’s apprehensive look. “Don’t listen to him, Rodney-kun.”

“No, no,” he said, waving her off. “It’s probably best to get the worst-case scenario out in the open beforehand, that way I can deal with it and I can approach the situation with a better attitude and more positive outlook.”

Jillian and Kelly both laughed at that and Rodney was almost certain he also heard Kirby chuckle.

“You’ve come a long way since you first arrived here, Rodney-kun,” Kirby commented. “I’m glad to see you’ve grown to have a more positive outlook.”

“Positive?” Rodney asked, a bit of incredulity staining his tone. “I’m being realistic.” To Kelly, he said, “Okay, give me the rundown on the tribes again. If I can figure out which one I’d like to go to, maybe I can tailor my questions to them and they’ll decide to bid the most on me.”

Kirby shook his head as he stood and gave Jillian his dirty dishware. “I have to make some calls. Jillian, please don’t let them get too out of hand.”

“Will do,” Jillian replied in amusement.

When Kelly left later that night and Rodney went to bed, he felt better about his prospects with the auction, hoping that the next few days would pass quickly so he could get the auction over with. And after that, he could concentrate on dealing with whatever it was that was bothering Jaelyn. He wouldn’t let this relationship fail if he had anything to say about it.

“See, this is the time when I would normally ask why the hell I’d need to spend the day in silence and meditation, since I’m the one that’s going to be auctioned off, not the one doing the bidding. But I’ll comply and not question it.”

Kirby laughed. “I think that is why you have flourished here, Rodney-kun. You’ve been able to adapt to your surroundings and, in doing so, you are thriving – much like the silkworms you work with. Who would have guessed that this place would be a place they could do so well in?”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “So, tomorrow will be a day of silence and meditation. And will I have to do any ritual bathing as well?”

Kirby nodded as he replied, “Yes, both in the morning as soon as you wake and then again at night right before you go to bed.” As Jillian and Jasmine entered from spending the day among the encampment, Kirby stood and retrieve something from the trunk at the foot of his cot. “I do have one more order of interest that I was waiting until Jillian returned to take care of.”

Jillian looked at him questioningly as she and Jasmine broke off their conversation. Jillian sat down on the floor next to Rodney in front of Kirby’s cot and Jasmine quietly excused herself from their quarters.

Looking directly at Rodney, Kirby said, “Since you came to us, Rodney-kun, you have done very well in adapting to circumstances that I gather are much different from the ones you left, as night is different from day. And I am very proud of the way you’ve applied yourself to that task and, as I said a moment ago, have been thriving here. You also, even though you did not know it, have helped Jillian and I by filling the role of son and brother. And last, but certainly not least, you have taken on the role of my apprentice, thereby making sure our people will have guidance and good health into the next generations.” He paused to take a deep breath. “I have spoken with our elders and you are, from now on, to be considered a native son of Lapras, as well as a member of this family. And they have also officially recognized you as my heir apparent.”

Rodney gaped at Kirby, not sure how to process what he had just said. “Are you – really?” he finally managed, looking dumbfounded.

“Really,” Kirby replied with a small smile. “And I have this for you as well.” He handed Rodney the item he had been holding.

Rodney slowly unwound the tan object to have it reveal a suede messenger bag much like Kirby’s that had been tooled around the edge of the flap with what looked like an approximation of Ancient writing. Rodney traced the lettering, slowly making out what looked like the beginning of the Hippocratic Oath. Rodney chuckled and shook his head, amused.

“You’re not happy with it?” Kirby asked, looking concerned. “I had asked Kelly to design it for you, figuring that, as your bound friend he would be better suited to giving it a more personal meaning.”

“No, I love it,” Rodney replied, continuing to stroke the lettering. “These lines here,” he outlined them with his finger, “are Ancient – a language I used back in Atlantis – and they loosely translate to say, ‘First, do no harm’. Among my native people – my first native people,” he glanced at both Kirby and Jillian, “it is the beginning of an oath taken by people who learn medicine. It’s a promise to seek to preserve life.” His breath hitched as he continued, “I was just surprised by it, but I guess I shouldn’t be, since I know Kelly heard me say it enough times when I was first learning everything. This – all of it – means a lot to me.”

Kirby smiled and relaxed. “Then I am glad Kelly was able to find a way to honor both your old and new lives.”

Jillian grinned and clapped a couple times. “I’m so happy for you, Rodney-kun,” she said. “I’ve been hoping since you first came to us that you would become a part of our family.”

Rodney laughed. “I’m glad I was able to do that for you.”

Laura hailed Rodney from the commons area and he put down his bag and went to answer her. “What can I do for you?” he asked. “And isn’t it a little late for you to be out?”

“I’m a grown woman, Rodney. And my husband knows where I sleep at night,” Laura replied with a laugh. She pulled an item out of her satchel. “I have a gift for you, on behalf of the silk guild.”

Rodney opened the fabric and held it up to find it was a sleeveless sky blue shirt with a mandarin collar. He recognized Laura’s weaving style in it. “Wow, thank you,” he said, feeling slightly overwhelmed as he gently stroked the fabric with his thumbs. “This is… thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied with an amused smile. “You deserve at least this for what you did for all of us at the last festival against the Korsans. And you have no idea how excited we all are that one of us has been chosen to take part in the auction. I’ll leave you to begin your preparations for the auction.”

“Thank you again,” Rodney replied earnestly.

“Good night, Rodney,” Laura replied with a laugh as she left.

“Good night, Laura,” Rodney replied, watching her leave the borough before going back into his quarters. Into his family’s quarters, his mind amended, and for a moment he was bowled over by that fact.

“What happened?” Jillian asked.

“Laura came by to give me a gift on behalf of the silk guild,” Rodney replied, showing them the shirt. “In honor of being in the auction and for my ‘brilliant plan’ to have everyone do what they should have done a long time ago – fight back against the Korsans.”

“Wow, that’s amazing,” Jillian replied, fingering the hem of the shirt.

“Okay, Rodney-kun,” Kirby said. “It’s time for you to get some sleep and start preparing for the auction.”

Rodney looked at him mulishly. “Don’t think that just because I’m now part of the family, I’m actually going to start obeying you at the drop of a hat.”

“You mean like you already have been?” Jillian replied mock-innocently.

Rodney swatted her with the shirt as he smiled. “And that goes especially for you,” he replied as he made his way to his cot, stopping to pick up his bag on the way. He carefully laid them out on top of his trunk and gently ran his fingers over each of them before going to get ready for bed, still amazed at what these people had done for him and thinking that, just maybe, they were right and he really was home.

The next morning, Rodney rose quietly before either Jillian or Kirby was awake – which surprised him, since they were normally up before him, even after all this time. He carefully gathered a clean outfit and his bathing accoutrements out of his trunk and headed down to the bathing pool.

Slipping into the warm water, Rodney let out a small sigh as he felt himself relax. He took a moment to let his mind go blank before he began washing himself. He did his best to focus on the auction the next day and what his role in it would be, but he kept hitting a wall. He knew he would be a participant, but he didn’t know what to focus on in order to prepare himself for it. Eventually, he shrugged it off, knowing he was ready for anything that they could throw at him and that he’d make the other Laprans proud in how he conducted himself in the auction. When he had finished bathing thoroughly, he dressed as purposefully as he could, feeling himself settling into ready state of mind.

Rodney had expected to spend the day either in their quarters, or in the commons area, but Kirby had other ideas. Rodney made rounds with him as he went to check on those who had fallen ill while at the festival and to counsel those who were having problems and didn’t wish to talk to their own healer. Rodney quietly stayed in the background and was grateful that the other tribes seemed to understand, or at least recognize, what he was doing. They didn’t do anything that would put him into an uncomfortable position, instead, giving him reassuring smiles and good wishes for him at the auction.

At the end of the day, as Rodney got out of the bathing pool and dried himself off, he felt much calmer than he expected to – despite the slim chance that he might be taken off-world again. He was ready for whatever happened at the auction and was actually looking forward to it.

Jillian gave him a reassuring smile when he returned to their quarters and, as he was getting into bed, said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow, Rodney-kun. Everything will be fine, I know it.”

Rodney simply nodded before turning over and going to sleep.

The encampment was quiet as they walked through it.

“Where is everyone?” Rodney asked, looking around at the deserted tents on either side.

“They’ve already gone to the auction site on the other side of the camp,” Kirby told him. “The auction inspections started at dawn.”

“Shouldn’t we have been there then, then?” Rodney asked glancing between Kirby, Kelly and Jillian, a little worried that they were doing something that would get them in trouble.

Kirby shook his head as he replied, “People aren’t auctioned off until the end. They start with products, then move on to livestock, then to people. Besides, it’s still early, so there’s nothing to worry about. The auction itself doesn’t start for a while yet.”

A buzz ahead of them continued to grow as they got closer and Rodney saw that everyone had gathered at the far edge of the camp. They were inspecting various goods, ranging from seeds and foodstuffs to technology, and livestock ranging from chickens to horses and cattle. The people – practically every tribe was represented – were being questioned a final time before the auction started.

Throughout the day, a number of the tribe’s representatives questioned Rodney for a final time and he couldn’t help but enjoy the questions, some of which reminded him of conversations he’d once had with John, only the cultural references were different.

The rest of the time, he remained quiet and enjoyed watching what was going on around him. The auction itself was easy enough to follow, since it operated like any auction he had ever seen. The only differences were the insults that the buyers were passing back and forth, and the heckling from the bystanders.

When it came time to auction the people, they were all lined up to one side of the platform. Rodney idly wondered if it was good or bad that he was third in line or if it just happened to be a random process. He avidly watched the two in front of him – a man and a woman – being auctioned; taking in the way they stood, how they didn’t take part in the heckling or insult-throwing that was never actually directed at them but seemed to enjoy it just the same, and how they seemed pleased with who they went to and the price they fetched – though Rodney was suddenly curious where that money went.

One of the attendants motioned him forward and Rodney mounted the platform, drawing himself up to his full height and looking out over the crowd with a confident expression on his face. The auctioneer called out a price and the bidding started. Rodney scanned the crowd and picked out familiar faces as the bidding and heckling went back and forth between the bidding tribes. Rodney was surprised how many people he was able to pick out and name and that he knew a few things about each of them. Before he knew it, he was being ushered off the other side of the platform and over to one of the men who had been taking care of recording all of the auctions and writing up the contracts between the winners and the people being auctioned.

“Congratulations,” the man said to Rodney. “So far you’ve gotten the highest bid of the day.”

“Uh… good?” Rodney replied expectantly as a man and woman came up to the table.

“Now we can begin the negotiations,” the man behind the table replied as he pulled out a clean sheet of paper and prepared his pen. “Rodney of Lapras, this is Dar’eem,” he pointed to the man, “and Dar’an,” he pointed to the woman, “of Darshan. They won your services in the auction.”

Rodney bowed to both of them and they returned the bow. “Can I ask how much you paid?” Rodney asked.

“Two silver talents,” the bookkeeper, as Rodney decided to call him, replied distractedly as he began writing up their transaction. “Your services appear to be in large demand, Rodney.”

“What exactly was I offered for?” Rodney asked, his eyes narrowing.

“To give security advice and help with Ancient technology,” Dar’eem replied. “Seeing as how we have a standing army, we have no issues with our security.”

“But we recently found a cache of Ancient technology and would like help with it,” Dar’an smoothly finished.

“Now, to the terms of your agreement,” the bookkeeper said. “The length of time will be for one cycle, until the next auction. Once the account has been settled at that time, you will be free to continue your business however you see fit or break it off completely. Until then, this contract you are about to agree to will be binding.”

“And what happens if the contract is broken?” Rodney asked, curious.

“It depends on who violated it and how,” the bookkeeper replied, looking up at Rodney placidly. “But either restitution or an extension of the contract will be decided upon. Now, the purpose of this contract is to lay out very specifically what the Darshans expect of you and how they would like to use your services, as well as what you expect from them in return for the use of your services.”

Rodney was surprised at how willing Dar’eem and Dar’an were to haggle about the terms of the contract, as well as how taken aback they were when he accepted a lower compensation than they first gave him. When he saw how frustrated they were getting with him, Rodney said, “I’m sorry. I’m not used to doing this, plus I don’t know your customs in this sort of thing. It’s just that I don’t really need anything for myself.”

“Thank you for your honesty,” Dar’an replied. “We’re willing to give you things for your family or friends. We didn’t intend to give the impression that this all had to be for you specifically and solely.”

After that, the negotiations went more smoothly. They would give Rodney a few items at a time and he would figure out if they worked and what they did. In exchange, they would give him some darchnan plants, which Rodney knew Kirby would be happy to have easy access to, new dishware for both himself and Jaelyn, as well as Jillian, and – once Dar’eem and Dar’an heard he was getting married soon – an almost endless supply of little things that he and Jaelyn would need to start their life together that they wouldn’t be able to get on Lapras.

“I do have one caveat before we finish,” Rodney mentioned before they finalized the deal. “The Laprans have no written language and I doubt you would be able to understand my native language.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Dar’eem replied. “We’ll give you a voice recorder and we’ll have someone transcribe the file after we’ve picked it up with the corresponding items.”

“We have also been authorized to give you the first batch of items as soon as you’re ready,” Dar’an said as the bookkeeper turned the page around for them all to sign and she took the pen and signed where indicated.

“I’m ready whenever you are,” Rodney replied as Dar’eem bent over to sign. After he signed, Rodney stared at his name for a moment and felt his stomach churn with a mix of indescribable feelings at seeing his own handwriting for the first time in so long and that it hadn’t felt odd to write “Rodney of Lapras” instead of “Dr. M. Rodney McKay, Ph.D.”

“How about we meet after dinner at the entrance to your village?” Dar’an asked.

“That works for me,” Rodney replied, glancing back over his shoulder and seeing the auction crowd was breaking up as people headed back to their homes for dinner. “I’ll meet you there then.” The three of them bowed to each other and went their separate ways.

When he got back to his quarters, both Kirby and Jillian greeted him with a grin. “What?” he asked, suspiciously, his eyes narrowing.

“We’re very proud of you,” Kirby replied. “Not many people have ever gotten a two talent bid at the auction.”

“And where exactly does that money go?” Rodney asked. “It’s not exactly like we use it here.”

“Part of it goes to the auctioneers as a fee for their services and the rest will come to you to be used in case you have to go to the other world in the course of your service to them. I’m sure you’ll do a great job for the Darshans. They’re a good people – easy to get along with and very fair in their business proceedings.”

“What did you get in return for your services?” Jillian asked.

“Well, I got some darchnan plants for Kirby and I. I got some dishware for Jaelyn and I, as well as you, Jillian. And they’re also going to provide Jaelyn and I with a lot of the little things we’ll need for our wedding that we can’t make here.”

“That sounds very reasonable,” Kirby replied, “and I’ll be grateful for access to the plants.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything, though,” Jillian replied. “We’ve already been through this.”

“I know I didn’t have to. But I wanted to get you something for all you’ve done for me. Plus, if it’s any consolation, the Darshans were practically forcing me to take things and, since I didn’t really want anything, I figured I could get you and Kirby some things instead. And the wedding stuff was a bit of an accident because I let it slip.”

“We are grateful that you decided to share your wealth with us, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied with a gracious smile and Rodney could tell by his tone that that was meant to be the end of the discussion. “Now, we’ll need to discuss how much work they’ve given you and what sort of time frame they’re looking at for getting things back, so you can figure out a way to include everything in your day.”

Rodney nodded. “They’ll be by later to drop off the first batch so I’m sure we can figure something out.”

After discussing the terms of Rodney’s contract with the Darshans, it was decided that he and Kirby could easily accommodate the extra work into his schedule with out much of a change to their current schedule.

When the Darshans arrived with Rodney’s first workload, he took the satchel of items from Dar’an and said, “Please, come back to my quarters. It’ll be more comfortable there and you can fill me in on what you know about the items.”

The pair hesitated for a moment before agreeing and, for that moment, Rodney hoped he hadn’t greatly overstepped any boundaries. But they relaxed once they were inside Rodney’s quarters and were seated on Rodney and Jillian’s stools after Kirby and Jillian both excused themselves.

“Would either of you like anything to eat or drink?” he asked, wanting to make sure they were both comfortable.

“No, thank you,” Dar’an replied. “We ate before we came.”

“I’m sorry if I overstepped any boundaries,” Rodney said as he knelt and opened the bag and began laying out various items.

“It’s all right,” Dar’eem replied. “We simply aren’t used to it.”

Rodney’s fingers lingered on each of the pieces, simply soaking in their shape and texture, relishing their untapped potential.

“You look like you’re with a lover,” Dar’an said with an amused tone.

“I haven’t seen items like these in a very long time,” Rodney replied, visually taking in each of the items. “Before I came to the Laprans, I daily used equipment made by the people that made these. Seeing them brings back memories.”

“And how long have you been with the Laprans?” Dar’an asked, intrigued.

“Three cycles,” Rodney replied, looking up at her, his hand hovering over one of the items that he was about to pick up. “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious,” she replied. “You speak the language very well.”

“And you act very much like a Lapran,” Dar’eem added. “If you hadn’t said something, I doubt we would have known you weren’t a natural Lapran.”

Rodney pulled the conversation back on track and they went through the items. As Rodney figured, what they knew about what they had wasn’t much. But he did feel better once they had finished, since he was fairly certain he wouldn’t be blowing up anyone or anything accidentally. And the fact that there were others out there who had the ATA gene and access to Ancient technology, even if they didn’t know how to use it due to the constant cullings and disruptions to their culture, sent a hopeful thrill through Rodney.

After they left, Rodney sat down next to the Ancient tech and just stared at it, feeling both completely overwhelmed and extremely excited at the same time. After staring at everything for a long time, he picked up the voice recorder and made his first entry, entitled, “Ancient Technology and You: How to Safely Use What Your Ancestors Left Behind When You’re Not Sure What It Is”. He didn’t want to be blamed for anyone else’s stupidity if he could help it. Then he picked up a piece of technology at random that looked like a slightly larger version of the life signs detector and started examining it, making notes on the recorder of his findings and what did and didn’t work as he went along.

When Jillian returned late that evening, she had to forcefully take the new-and-improved life signs detector out of Rodney’s hands and, in no uncertain terms, force him to eat something. She was also very firm when she told him that she wouldn’t watch over him to make sure he ate and slept, regardless of how interesting the technology was, and Rodney had to promise her that he would take care of himself before she let him have the life signs detector back.

“When did you get to be so evil?” Rodney asked as she set aside some food for Kirby and began cleaning up.

“That’s assuming I wasn’t before,” she replied. “Maybe you just didn’t notice.”

“Oh, I think I would have noticed,” he commented as he tapped the screen to go back a few pages so he could reread it again.

“What are you working on?” she asked, sitting down next to him.

“It’s called a life signs detector. It can tell who is in it’s vicinity and they’ll pop up on the screen as dots. One improvement it has over the ones I’m used to using is that this is sentient and can tell the different people in the vicinity apart – which is very helpful if you’re trying to figure out if someone is good or bad.”

“That’s intriguing,” she replied, peering at the screen. “What’s this?” she asked, pointing at a cluster of dots.

“That’s us,” Rodney replied. “And this big mess over here is the encampment. If we were actually out there, it might be able to differentiate better.”

“I can see why you like this technology so much.” She yawned. “I should get some sleep; I have an early morning.”

For the next few days, Rodney only ventured into the encampment when absolutely necessary on business with either Laura or Kirby – or, in one case, when Kelly physically dragged him and used threats Rodney didn’t think he knew. Otherwise, he ensconced himself either in his quarters or in the commons with one of the Darshan’s pieces of Atlantean technology.

He had forgotten how much he had missed this – the simple discovery of what the items did and how they worked. On Atlantis, so often he had either two options – push the research aside to pull a death-defying save out of his ass or learn how something worked as quickly as possible in case it was potentially dangerous because it wasn’t a good idea to have it lying around for one of the morons to accidentally activate it.

But having a more relaxed pace in which to play around and check all possible tangents was invigorating and it reminded Rodney why he had fallen in love with science all those years ago. It had its own rhythm and music that called to him and pulled him in until he felt like he was drowning in it, much as he had every time he had listened to Mozart’s piano concertos as a child.

And, true to her word, Jillian didn’t force him to eat or make him go to bed, which lead to a couple of sleepless nights and near-hypoglycemic shock – each of which was followed by a stern lecture by Kirby on the necessities of watching out for himself, which Rodney couldn’t help but think sounded too much like Carson’s lectures minus the Scottish brogue.

“I don’t know, Jaelyn. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Rodney heard Jennifer tell her at the end of the festival. He stopped in his tracks and, as an afterthought, moved to the side of the pathway between the caves. Going to the practice cave for some private practice suddenly seemed like a bad idea.

“Granted, it’s not the *best* idea, but it’s better than anything else we’ve been able to think of,” Jaelyn replied with a sigh. “Besides, he seems to respect honesty greatly. I think I should just tell him that I really only want him so I can have a baby. I think it’s best that that’s out in the open before the wedding. I do care for him – just not as a woman should love her husband.”

Rodney felt his jaw drop and his brain stutter to a stop. That was just…. He couldn’t think of the right thing to describe what that was.

“And while he doesn’t talk about it much,” Jaelyn continued, “it seems like his people are much more relaxed about conception, so I’m sure that it won’t be too hard to do it without having to go through the rest of the courtship and the wedding.”

Rodney heard them getting out of the pool and he quickly turned and headed back up to the surface, hoping he hadn’t alerted them to his presence. His mind was swirling and he didn’t know what to think or how to act or anything, really.

He wanted to talk to Kelly about it, but didn’t know how that would fare, regardless of their bound friend status. Even among close friends, sex was just one of those things that wasn’t normally talked about in casual conversation. But this wasn’t normal – at least not for Rodney. But he guessed that he should have known their relationship was too good to be true.

“I thought you were going to get some private practice time in,” Kelly commented when he saw Rodney emerge from the tunnel.

“I was, but decided against it,” Rodney replied.

“Is everything okay?” Kelly asked, concern evident in his voice as he gave him a scrutinizing look.

“Yeah, nothing to worry about,” Rodney replied, waving him off. “And thank you again for the bag. It means a lot to me.”

“You can stop thanking me,” Kelly replied with a laugh. “I was happy to do it and I enjoyed the challenge. There aren’t many people around that know Ancient.”

Rodney rolled his eyes as he replied, “Tell me about it. Even among my people, not many did.”

Jaelyn and Jennifer emerged from the tunnel and Rodney turned to look at them. He was about to get their attention, but the intent look on Jaelyn’s face as they talked and their swift pace made him hesitate and they were back in their borough before Rodney could open his mouth.

“Are you sure everything is okay?” Kelly asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Rodney replied. “I just have a few things on my mind.”

“Or one thing,” Kelly muttered. “Are you getting cold feet?”

“No,” Rodney replied sharply. He paused for a moment before continuing more gently, “I’m just worried that I’ll do something wrong.” ‘Like blurt out that I heard what Jaelyn and Jennifer where talking about and get myself into a shitload of trouble,’ he thought. Rodney sighed and said, “I’ll see you later. I have to go get some work done if I plan on being ready for the Darshans when they come to pick up their stuff.”

“Okay,” Kelly replied, looking mystified as Rodney headed back into the borough.

Rodney tinkered with a piece of Ancient technology the next morning, but couldn’t concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing. His gaze kept going to Jaelyn and Jennifer who were sitting across the commons area talking and giggling as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

After stabbing himself with the stylus for the fifth time, Rodney cursed under his breath and let his hands and the device fall to his lap. He cursed again as he tore his eyes from the women and clenched his hands around the gadget, willing himself to not throw it in exasperation. He wasn’t getting anywhere with his work and he had no idea how to broach the subject with Jaelyn.

While he had never thought of himself as the “get married and have kids” type, Rodney had slowly come to the realization that he wouldn’t necessarily be averse to it. But he didn’t want to do it this way. He had come to value the Laprans and the way they did things too much to be so cavalier in his relationship with Jaelyn, regardless of what she wanted. And he had decided a long time ago that if he did, in fact, have children, he would do everything in his power to stay with their mother and make it work with her. And he wanted to have a part in his offspring’s lives in a way his parents hadn’t.

Rodney sighed as he turned off the device and set it to the side. He took a deep breath and centered himself, focusing on his breathing. He felt himself calm down and his mind clear. He knew he needed to talk with Jaelyn – and sooner rather than later.

Rodney stood and walked resolutely across the commons area before he could talk himself out of it. He ducked into his quarters and donned his robe and boots. Jaelyn and Jennifer stopped talking looked up at him as he approached, confusion showing on both their faces at the grim expression he wore.

“I need to speak with you, Jaelyn,” Rodney said brusquely. “Alone.”

“Okay,” she replied a little nervously as she gave Jennifer a shrug before standing and disappearing into her quarters, returning shortly wearing her robe and boots. “What’s going on?” she asked as they headed out of the village and across the sand, away from both the village and the encampment.

Once they were on top of a nearby dune, Rodney turned to her and put his hands on his hips. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not wanting his temper to get the best of him. “When were you planning on telling me?” he finally asked quietly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jaelyn replied, still looking confused.

“You know damn well what I’m talking about!” Rodney lashed out. He took a moment to compose himself and Jaelyn didn’t offer any explanation. “I heard you and Jennifer talking yesterday,” he finally admitted.

“Oh, that,” she replied nonchalantly.

“‘Oh, that’?” Rodney repeated indignantly. “What do you mean, ‘oh, that’?”

Jaelyn shrugged as she sat down on the sand, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. “What do you want me to say? It’s true.”

“I just – I just thought,” Rodney sputtered then huffed in exasperation. “I thought that I actually meant something to you. All of me, not the parts of me that fit your plan to have a child.”

“You do mean something to me, Rodney-chan,” she replied softly. “I just can’t. Not the way you want me to.”

“How long have you known?” he asked. When she didn’t look at him and didn’t answer, he asked more forcefully, “How long?”

“A while.” She looked up at him, her expression sad. “I did try, Rodney-chan. I wanted – I *want* – to love you. You’re a very good man and I realize how lucky I am that we were a match. I just can’t love you the way I should.”

“Why not?” he asked as he did his best to keep the grief that had crept into his chest out of his voice. He dropped down into the sand next to her.

She shrugged sadly. “I don’t know. Believe me, it’s not you.”

Rodney let out a bark of a laugh as he wiped his hands over his face. At her startled look, he shook his head. “It’s a cultural thing,” he said, but didn’t elaborate.

“So, what do you think?” she asked after a quiet moment. “You help me have a baby and I’ll break up with you so you can find someone who will love you back the way you deserve. That way we both get what we want.”

“I don’t know,” Rodney replied morosely as he pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “Won’t the break-up cause problems for us?”

“I don’t think so,” Jaelyn replied. “It’s happened before – not often, but it’s happened.”

“And what happens when they find out that you’re pregnant?”

Jaelyn grimaced. “It won’t be pretty – which is why I want to do it before the festival is over. That way, I can keep you out of it as much as possible. That’s happened before as well, even if it is incredibly rare. And if the mother doesn’t divulge the father’s name, she can’t be forced to do so and action can’t be taken.”

“And what makes you so sure this is the best way to do it?” Rodney asked, gently.

“Because I feel it in here.” She touched her chest over her heart. “Even against my better judgment and everything I know to be true and right, I want this. I want a baby more than anything and have for a long, long time. But I’ve never seen a husband in the picture.”

“Let me think about it, okay?” Rodney asked.

Jaelyn nodded mutely. “Take your time. I don’t want you to regret your decision – whatever it will be.”

Rodney scanned the sky without looking for anything in particular and stood. “We should get back inside or they’ll start looking for us.”

“I think I’m going to walk in the encampment for a while, if anyone asks,” Jaelyn replied as she stood.

“Okay,” Rodney replied before he watched her go, her posture making her look more tired and worn out than he knew she should be.

He sat back down on the sand with a thump and let out a huge sigh. He had no idea how to handle this. He knew that if he agreed and Jaelyn conceived, that things would get very hard for her. He knew how people looked at and talked about a couple of the older women who had been single mothers by choice and it wasn’t kind, even if there was a note of pity in their voices. He didn’t wish that for her.

But he did want her to be happy and he loved her enough that he was willing to let her go. And if this could make her happy, then maybe it was worth a shot. He could always hope that she didn’t conceive. He let out a puff of air as he ran his hands through his hair and then down over his face, wondering what he was getting himself into now.

“You’re going to *what*?!” Kelly practically bellowed.

“Keep your voice down!” Rodney hissed as he glanced around the pool cave furtively.

“Are you out of your mind?” Kelly hissed back, glaring at Rodney.

“Yes, yes I am,” Rodney replied as he flopped down next to the water. “I’m completely and utterly out of my mind for even vaguely considering this, let alone actually deciding to go through with it.”

Kelly sat down next to him. “Do you know what will happen if you two go through with this and she has a child?”

Rodney sighed as he replied, “A vague notion of the shit hitting the fan in ways previously unknown – also known as Jaelyn and I getting into the worst possible trouble for probably the rest of our lives. And who knows what would happen to our child.”

“And what made you think that this would even remotely be a good idea?” Kelly asked as he pulled off his shirt.

Rodney sighed again as he followed suit. “I want her to be happy.”

“At the expense of both of you being miserable for an indeterminate time into the future once you’re found out?” Kelly pushed as he took off his moccasins and his pants.

“Jaelyn said that if we did it before the festival was over, then there would be enough doubt that no one would be able to pin it on me.” Rodney swung his legs over the edge and into the water before placing his moccasins on top of his pile of clothes.

“The festival ended two days ago. Even with the variances in a pregnancy, I’d say you’re screwed.” Kelly gave Rodney a meaningful look as he gracefully slid into the water.

Rodney sighed unhappily and lay back against the stone floor with a thump. He was so totally screwed.

“And stop sighing,” Kelly called from the other side of the pool. “You’re not a young woman listening to love stories. It’s unattractive.”

Rodney laughed, the sound bubbling past his lips until he had to put his hands over his face to try to contain it. The absurdity of his situation finally hit him and laughter seemed to be the only way he could adequately respond to it.

“What’s so funny?” Kelly asked, this time from right at Rodney’s feet.

Rodney took a deep breath and shook his head, his laughter not quite finished yet. He took another deep breath and replied, “It just hit me how different this is from anything I’m used to. Back with my native people, this wouldn’t have been an issue. Well, me getting a woman from another planet pregnant would be, but among my people in general it wouldn’t be a big problem like it is here. Which, I understand why – with the population limitations and all, but –”

“Rodney, breathe,” Kelly replied, amused. “You’re babbling again. And you’re right, things are different here. I just don’t understand what made you take leave of your senses to even vaguely consider Jaelyn’s idea, let alone actually agree to going through with it. Have you told her?”

“No. I was going to tell her tomorrow.”

“Then you’ve still got time to get yourself out of it before you both do something completely stupid that you’ll regret for the rest of your lives. Are you getting in or what?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Rodney replied, sitting up and pushing himself off the edge and into the water. He let himself go all the way under and wiped the water out of his eyes when he came back up. “And what exactly are you suggesting?”

“Don’t go through with it! That’s what I’m suggesting. What did she offer you in return?”

“What makes you think she offered me anything in return?” Rodney asked innocently.

Kelly leveled an ‘I’m not that stupid,’ glare at Rodney before replying, “I doubt you would do this solely out of the goodness of your heart.”

“You wound me,” Rodney replied, placing his hand over his heart. “And, as a matter of fact, I am doing this ‘solely out of the goodness of my heart’. Especially since I don’t particularly want to break up with her.”

“She said she’d break off the betrothal if you didn’t?”

Rodney rolled his eyes at Kelly’s shocked reply. “No. She said that if I did this for her, she’d break off the betrothal so that I could find someone who could actually love me, since she’s apparently incapable of doing so.”

Kelly’s eyes widened. “And you’re actually going through with it?”

“Well, not whole-heartedly. I actually want to stay together with her since I do love her and I don’t mind sticking it out while she grows to love me over time and all that.”

Kelly shook his head in exasperation, while a small smile formed at the corners of his mouth. “You are totally insane, you know that, right?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me, all things considered,” Rodney replied as he grabbed his soap. “I’ve done some fairly insane things in my life.”

“So, can I try to talk you out of this?” Kelly asked as he started soaping up.

“You can try,” Rodney replied, “but I doubt it’ll work.”

“And you do realize that you both could be completely exiled, short of being thrown out of the village, once this comes to light, right?”

“Yes, I do.” Kirby had never actually told Rodney what would happen if he stepped too far out of bounds, but Rodney had seen it happen twice and knew the risk. “You seem fairly sure that we’ll be found out.”

Kelly gave Rodney another of what Rodney recognized as his patented ‘you really *are* an idiot’ glares before saying, “It’s simple logic. The two of you are together. She gets pregnant. There’s only one way for that to happen.”

Rodney fleetingly considered going into the whole Immaculate Conception idea, but didn’t feel like explaining a religious belief that he didn’t share for the sake of a lame joke. “Well, for the sake of shits and giggles, let’s go through this insanity and see what happens.”

Kelly paused for a moment to process the weird turn of phrase before either getting it or completely discarding it and replying, “Okay. So, Jaelyn approached you with the proposition of helping her have a baby because she really wants one – even if she doesn’t want a husband – and in return she’ll break off the betrothal so that you’ll be free to be matched to someone who actually will be able to fall in love with you.”

“Correct.” Rodney finished rinsing off, pulled himself out of the water, and began toweling himself off. “But I don’t want to break up with her because I do love her – and I probably am in love with her – but, ultimately, I want her to be happy, so I’m willing to go through with this if that’s what it takes for her to be happy.”

Kelly pulled himself out of the pool and began drying off. “And you will both be found out due to simple logic and you’ll be ostracized for an indeterminate amount of time. And you’ll bring shame to Jillian and Kirby because they weren’t able to teach you our ways well enough to keep you out of trouble.”

“But if I can keep Jaelyn from breaking off the engagement and we get married, that should lessen the guilt, since a betrothal is practically a marriage already. I’m sure that in time everyone will agree that a little premature is better than not at all,” Rodney replied, feeling smug.

Kelly shook his head in exasperation. “I’m not going to win with you, am I?”

“I doubt it,” Rodney replied with a smug grin.

“Then keep me out of it and don’t assume it’ll happen until Jaelyn has a baby swaddled at her breast.”

“Thank you, Kelly,” Rodney replied, grateful for his grudging acceptance. “And I promise to never say anything when you spoil the kid rotten.”

Kelly laughed in spite of himself as they finished dressing. “Life definitely hasn’t been dull since you’ve come into it, Rodney-chan.”

“Well, that’s better than what people usually say about my entry into their lives.”

As they headed out of the cave, Rodney felt a little bit more relieved now that he had talked things through with Kelly, even if nothing had changed. And he wanted to be surprised at his body’s indifference to Kelly’s this time around, but at the same time he was thankful for it – he didn’t need another distraction on top of everything else, even if he knew this reaction was more than likely due to his anxiety over what was going to be happening with Jaelyn. Why couldn’t things ever be simple and uncomplicated?

“Do you mind if I have a private word with Jaelyn?” Rodney asked Jennifer the next day at lunch.

“Not at all,” she replied, standing. “But I won’t go far – for propriety’s sake.”

“Thank you,” he replied, sitting down next to Jaelyn, who was giving him a curious look.

“I made a decision,” he whispered to her. “And I’ll do it.”

She grinned and moved as if to touch him, before pulling back at the last moment. “Thank you!” she replied earnestly. She blushed. “So, now what do we do?”

“We’ll have to find some time and a place to be alone together. Then we’ll go from there to figure out what to do about everyone else.”

Jaelyn bit her lip. “What about three days from now? It’s the day of rest. I’m sure we’ll be able to slip away then. We could go to the half-way point to the Ring of the Ancestors and have a picnic.”

Rodney looked at her speculatively. “I doubt we’ll be able to just slip away for that long. And with it being a day of rest, we’ll be noticed by at least one other person.”

“We’ll just have to let our families know. We can tell them that we want to spend some time together to make up for the time we lost during the festival, since we hardly saw each other.”

“Do you think they’ll go for it?” Rodney asked, worrying his bottom lip.

“Probably,” she replied. “I doubt they’ll suspect it’s really a ruse for what we’ll be doing.”

“Okay, then let’s shoot for that and see what happens. If we can’t get it to work, we’ll figure something else out.”

Rodney found it to be very easy to get Kirby to agree to let him go on a picnic alone with Jaelyn. Jillian’s only comment was that she wasn’t going to be making any food for them. Rodney couldn’t help but laugh at that, and assured her that she wouldn’t have to, since he was going to be in charge of most of it.

“I’m glad you’re taking this courtship seriously, Rodney-kun,” Kirby told him. I believe you’ll make good husband for Jaelyn and it’s good that you’re taking the time to prove it to her.”

Rodney ducked his head and blushed. “Thank you, Kirby,” he replied. “That means a lot to me.”

When he went to confirm his plans with Jaelyn, Rodney felt a pang of guilt over his deception, but he knew it would be better in the long run if he just continued with their plans. But his spirits lifted when he saw how excited she was when she told him her parents had consented and he headed back to his family’s quarters a few hours later, after agreeing to have dinner with them and playing a few games of dice with the grandparents.

The intervening time was quickly eaten up by the orders Rodney had been assigned from the festival and both he and Laura were excited that he was going to be moving on to harder assignments. He also had to prepare the food for the picnic – which had to be approved by Jaelyn’s mother.

“This is so frustrating!” Rodney said in exasperation as he put the last dish on to cook.

“Regretting your decision to have a picnic?” Jillian asked with a slight smirk as she sat down across from him.

“No,” Rodney replied in a huff. “I’m regretting agreeing to follow Jessica’s instructions on how to make the food because she thinks she knows what Jaelyn likes. Jaelyn told me she doesn’t like almost half of the things I’m making.”

“I doubt you’ll have much longer to deal with it before you and Jaelyn will be married; then you won’t have to listen to Jessica,” Jillian soothed. “But, hopefully your willingness to do this will win over both Jessica and Jaelyn.”

“I certainly hope so,” Rodney muttered as he stirred the contents of the pot.

Jillian took a quick taste of the vegetables and nodded. “It’s really good. You’ve come a long way since you first got here and tried to help Jean cook.”

Rodney snorted before replying with a shy smile, “Well, I’ve had some good teachers.”

Jillian returned the smile as Kirby entered and the conversation turned to other topics.

“Are we all set?” Rodney asked when Jaelyn met him outside her family’s quarters on the appointed morning.

“I believe so,” Jaelyn replied. “We’ve gotten approval and you have our food. I’d say we’re all set.” She grinned as they headed off and Rodney couldn’t help but smile as well.

When they reached the half-way point in the tunnel, Rodney put the basket of food on the table and asked, “Are you sure no one is going to be coming this way today?”

Jaelyn rolled her eyes as she leaned a hip against the table. “No – I’ve told you this. I double-checked with everyone to make sure we weren’t expecting any trade envoys – which we aren’t – and the last envoy we had left yesterday. You need to stop worrying.”

“I’m just making sure,” Rodney replied, matching her exasperated tone. “I’d rather not have anyone stop by for a break on their way to the encampment while we’re in the middle of having sex.”

Jaelyn laughed. “That would be a wonderful way to find out, wouldn’t it?”

Rodney let out a nervous chuckle and shook his head. “Not one I’m very keen on experiencing. So, would you like to eat?”

“I’m not really hungry,” Jaelyn said, looking down and fiddling with her fingernails.

“You have to eat *something*,” Rodney replied firmly. “You admitted you didn’t eat breakfast because you were too wound up and we just walked for four hours. I don’t want you passing out on me.”

“Maybe a little something,” she said, sitting down. “What did you pack?”

Rodney opened the top of the basket and began carefully pulling out jars and cloth-wrapped parcels of food. “I’m sorry, but I did have to make a few of these things to your mother’s specifications. But I added some of my own as well.”

Jaelyn’s eyes grew wide at the amount of food he pulled out. “How long were you planning on us staying here?” she asked.

“Long enough to rest a bit, have something to eat, do the deed, maybe eat a little more, and then go home.” Rodney looked down at the spread and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I have a tendency to eat when I’m nervous and since I had to cook in order to eat…” He trailed off and looked at her sheepishly. “At least most of this will keep, so it can be eaten later as well.”

Jaelyn smiled at him fondly. “You really are something else, Rodney-chan.”

“Yeah, well…” Rodney opened one of the jars and handed it to her with a spoon. “Why don’t you try this? It’s something I tried to make based on one a recipe from my native home. It seemed to go over well with Jillian and Kirby when they tried it.”

Jaelyn carefully sniffed it before dipping in the spoon and gingerly taking out a tiny bit to taste. “This is wonderful. What is it?”

“I’ve been calling it darchnan sauce, since its fruit looks and tastes a lot like a mix of apricots and apples – which are fruits where I’m from. It’s a pretty common way of preparing apples, so I thought I’d give it a shot with the darchnan fruit.”

“I’d say it worked out well,” she replied between bites. “So, what else did you make?”

Rodney smiled as he began opening and unwrapping other things. They picked at a little of everything and Rodney was happy to see that she enjoyed his cooking – especially since most of it was experimentation, due to Jillian being totally serious about not helping him with the food, even down to not giving him recipes. He could see Jaelyn slowly relax as they ate and felt himself relax in response.

As Rodney cleaned up when they finished, Jaelyn started fidgeting again. “Is it going to hurt?” she asked.

“Probably,” Rodney replied, placing the last jar next to the basket and taking out a blanket he had stowed at the bottom of the basket. “But from what I’ve heard, it doesn’t hurt a lot as long as we’re careful.”

He spread out the blanket on the ground next to the table and straightened it out before dropping a smaller piece of cloth on top of it. He looked at Jaelyn. “I’m sorry it’s not going to be the most comfortable, but it’ll be passable.”

“So, now what?” Jaelyn asked.

Rodney felt a pang of guilt at the innocence he saw in Jaelyn’s eyes, knowing he was taking it from her. He cleared his throat and said as straight and with as little sarcasm as he could manage, “Well, it helps if we get undressed.”

“Okay,” she replied, standing.

Rodney watched in fascination as she took off her robe and folded it up before placing it on the table. She toed off her moccasins and put them neatly on the seat before shucking off her pants, folding them, and placing them on top of her robe. It had been a long time since he had seen someone naked for this purpose and he was momentarily transfixed by the sight of her naked body. He was curious about her body and what made it different from the bodies of the other women he had been with. His first instinct was to catalogue Jaelyn’s body and see where she differed from Earth women, but he quickly stopped himself, knowing it wouldn’t do anyone any good if he continued.

She crossed her arms under her breasts as she turned to him. “Well?” she asked nonchalantly and Rodney wanted to laugh at the complete lack of insecurity she was showing.

“Yes, yes, right,” he mumbled as he quickly undressed and hurriedly folded his clothes, putting them next to hers. He nervously rubbed one arm and then the other as he turned to her. “Well?” he asked, figuring they could get any ridicule out of the way first before moving into the main event.

“Well, what, Rodney-chan?” she asked, looking a little confused and Rodney mentally smacked himself for not remembering that she hadn’t had any experience with any of this, so she wouldn’t know how to act. She looked him over and said, “You have a very pleasant body, Rodney-chan, if that’s what you want me to say.”

Rodney mentally kicked himself. “You’re just saying that because that’s what you think I’m expecting you to say it.”

“Well, you are, aren’t you? Besides, I would not say it if I didn’t think it was true. So, what do you think of me? I’m sure you must have an opinion, since you’ve had more experience with this sort of thing.”

Rodney suppressed a laugh and the desire to say, “Definely ‘more experience’.” Instead, he said, “I think you’re very lovely and I wish we were doing this in a more optimal setting.”

She blushed and ducked her head as she smiled. With a laugh, she said, “So, something tells me that if this is supposed to hurt, we’re not doing it right if you’re over there and I’m over here.”

Rodney nodded. “You’re absolutely right.” He gestured to the blanket and said, “Let’s sit down and we’ll go from there.”

Jaelyn nodded and sat down on the blanket, crossing her legs, and Rodney sat down in front of her, crossing his legs as well and scooting in so their knees touched. He leaned in and kissed her softly. She stayed still and Rodney pulled away.

“You’re allowed to respond, you know,” he said, fully aware that she more than likely didn’t know.

“I liked that,” she said. “Can we do it again?”

“Sure,” Rodney replied. “And please reciprocate.”

She nodded, looking a little unsure, as Rodney leaned in again. He kissed her again and she tentatively mirrored his actions. As they continued, Rodney remembered how much he had enjoyed kissing in and of itself, not just as a means to an end. He reached up and gently cupped her face with his hands and, after a moment, she mirrored his actions. He gently caressed her cheeks with his thumbs before running his hands down her neck, over her shoulders, and settling them on the juncture of her arms and shoulders.

He broke off the kiss and said, “All right, I want you to lie down on your back with your legs open.”

She did so without hesitation and he had her raise her hips so he could put the cloth underneath her. “What’s that for?” Jaelyn asked, curious.

“There will be a tiny bit of blood – which is completely normal for the first time. This is to protect the blanket and make sure no one will find out.”

She took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”

Rodney took a moment to look her over again. She really was a lovely woman and he was awed by the trust she was putting in him. He smiled warmly down at her as he ran his knuckles down her chest and around the outside curve of one of her breasts. She shivered slightly and smiled back up at him. He was surprised at how much he was enjoying simply touching her. It had been over three cycles since anyone had touched him in any way other than either necessity or greeting and he was surprised to find that he actually missed it.

“Now, I don’t know what you’ve been told or taught, but this is supposed to be an enjoyable experience for both of us. If I do something you don’t like, tell me and we’ll fix it. And if I do something you like, tell me that too, so I can do it again. Okay?” He gave her a reassuring smile.

“Okay,” she replied. “Could you do that thing again with your lips? I liked that.”

Rodney laughed. “That’s called kissing. And, sure, I can do that again.”

He leaned over, bracing himself on one hand, and kissed her again, capturing her lips in a hungry kiss. She easily opened her mouth when he ran his tongue over her lips and he plundered her mouth as he captured one of her breasts in his other hand and caressed it before lightly pinching the nipple and rolling it between his fingers until it pebbled. Jaelyn moaned softly and Rodney took that as a good sign and moved over to do the same with the other breast. He gently skated his hand over her skin, soaking in the feel of it.

Pulling back, he said, “You can touch me, if you’d like.”

“You’re too far away,” she replied with a slight giggle.

Rodney laid down on his side next to her. “Is this better?”

“Much,” she replied, turning onto her side and facing him.

She reached out to touch his chest, playing with his nipples the same way he had hers. The sensations sent a jolt of pleasure through Rodney and he felt it pooling in his groin. He ran a hand down her side and across her hip, enjoying the smile she gave him as she continued her tactile exploration of his chest and stomach, slowly venturing down to his belly button.

Rodney carefully moved his hand down to the juncture of her legs and she looked down at what he was doing. “May I?” he asked, gently stroking the light, wiry curls that were scattered across her skin.

Jaelyn nodded and opened her legs for him. Rodney carefully dipped his fingers between her legs and between the folds of skin. He was happy to find that she was at least a little wet, but he could see the nervous tension in her body and he knew he’d have to get her to relax if this was going to be a success for them. He gently stroked her clit.

Jaelyn’s eyes widened and canted her hips towards him as she said, “Do that again.”

Rodney laughed as he did so a few more times before gently pressing a finger inside of her. She sucked in a breath of air and froze as the muscles seized around Rodney’s finger. Rodney stopped and waited until she started relaxing again. Then he began working his finger in and out of her, helping her get used to the idea of something being inside of her, as well as loosening her up. He slowly added a second and then a third finger.

He was enjoying watching her get used to the feeling of his fingers. First, she looked at him confused, as if what she was feeling wasn’t what she had been expecting. Then she slowly smiled as the pleasure began overriding whatever discomfort she was feeling. And Rodney could tell when she stopped analyzing what was happening and just let herself go with it because her eyes slipped closed and her mouth opened slightly as she began meeting his gentle thrusts, her soft moans of pleasure sending shivers of pleasure through him. She looked so beautiful that Rodney couldn’t help wondering how she would feel when he was inside of her. Her enjoyment was a stronger aphrodisiac than he was expecting and when he touched himself to make sure he was ready, Rodney found he was already hard and precome had covered most of his cock with a light sheen of lubrication. When it looked like she had relaxed enough to be able to take him with as little discomfort as he could prepare her for, Rodney withdrew his fingers.

Jaelyn’s eyes snapped opened and she glared up at him. “Why did you stop?” she asked, her tone almost accusatory.

“Because I think you’re ready to go to the next level.”

“Oh,” she replied softly and then grinned. “Okay.” She looked down at his cock and bit her lip. “Will that fit inside me?” she asked, a hint of nervousness coloring her voice.

“Without a problem,” Rodney replied with a smile as he stroked her hip in comfort. “Lie on your back and open your legs.”

She did so and Rodney knelt between her legs. He brought her legs up around his waist and pressed the head of his cock against her opening.

“Relax,” he soothed, gently rubbing her hip. “Remember how good it felt a moment ago?” She nodded. “It’s about to feel a lot better.”

Rodney leaned forward and braced himself on his hands before slowly pushing into her. She gasped and started to seize around him and Rodney paused to let her adjust to the feeling of his cock inside of her. Gradually, she was able to take all of him.

“Is that it?” she asked with a hint of dejection and Rodney laughed.

“Not quite,” he replied with a grin. “We’re just getting started.”

He slowly withdrew and thrust back into her, letting out a low groan at the feeling of her tight channel gripping him and flexing around him. He kept the pace slow and steady as he watched her for any further discomfort, but once the initial discomfort was over, she seemed to get the idea and canted her hips so he went deeper inside of her – causing them both to groan in response. And Rodney did his best to savor this experience and not let himself get swept away too quickly.

But soon enough, he felt himself being overtaken by desire and slowly began to speed up. Jaelyn smiled beneath him and began meeting his thrusts equally as she gently ran her hands over his nipples. When her fingernails scraped over the sensitive buds a second time, he stilled and came. He saw the surprise in her eyes as he emptied his seed into her. He began thrusting through the aftershocks of his orgasm, his hips stuttering in response to the increased sensitivity, but it was worth it when Jaelyn gasped, then moaned, and he felt her contract around him as her own orgasm washed over her. He continued, pushing her through it and she arched into him before relaxing back against the blanket.

Rodney carefully pulled out of her and used the cloth to clean them both up.

Jaelyn spoke first once he had finished. “That was…wow.”

“It was,” he agreed with a small smile. “We should go though. We don’t want to arouse suspicion.”

“Okay,” she replied, wistfully. “Thank you, Rodney-chan, for doing this for me.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied with a pensive smile of his own as he stood.

They both dressed and Rodney packed the basket in silence, careful to put the incriminating evidence in as safe a spot as he could manage so he could burn it when they returned. The walk back was also done in silence, but Jaelyn kept sneaking shy glances and smiles in Rodney’s direction.

When they reached the door, Rodney paused and asked, “How do you feel?”

“Good,” she replied. “Relaxed.” She paused and looked a little concerned before adding, “And a little sore.”

“That’s normal,” he replied. “It’ll go away on its own.”

The cloth had just finished burning when Kirby stormed into their quarters, grabbed Rodney by his upper arm, and hauled him to his feet. “What the hell did you do?” he yelled at Rodney.

“What are you talking about?” Rodney asked, surprised and, for the first time since he had arrived, scared shitless.

“You know damn well what I’m talking about!” He increased pressure on Rodney’s upper arm. “You lied to all of us!”

“She asked me to!” Rodney blurted out, wishing he could take it back as soon as he said it.

Kirby looked like Rodney had physically struck him. “I had thought you would be past the boyish impulses, given your maturity and forbearance in the other areas of your life,” he said quietly as he released Rodney’s arm. “I think the trust I put in you may have been misplaced. I hope you haven’t done anything else that would make me seriously consider disowning you.”

He turned sharply and left their quarters, looking older and more weary than Rodney knew to be true. Rodney let out a shocked breath and opened and closed his mouth a couple times, unsure of what to do. The first and foremost thought, though, was ‘How did he find out?’

Rodney sank back down to the floor and pulled his knees up to his chest. He scrubbed his face with his hands and let out a ragged breath before crossing his arms on top of his knees and staring into the fire. He didn’t know how long he stayed that way, only coming out of his daze when Jillian entered.

She gave him a sad and disappointed look, but didn’t say anything as she began preparing dinner. Kirby finally returned, his face looking pinched and tired. They conversed quietly and Rodney couldn’t make out what they said. His gaze returning to the fire, Rodney wished he could take back what he and Jaelyn had done earlier that day. He knew Kelly had been right – whatever happiness Jaelyn would get out of this if she did have a child would always be shadowed by how it had happened and Rodney would always be seen as the willing accomplice.

Jillian gave Rodney his portion of dinner, but otherwise she and Kirby ignored him.

The next morning, after continued silence through breakfast and a chilly reception by everyone else in their borough, Rodney cornered Kelly by the yak pen to see if he could get any information out of him.

“I can’t talk to you,” Kelly hissed, glancing around warily.

“I know,” Rodney replied. “I just need to know – how did they find out?”

Glancing around again, Kelly quietly said, “From what I’ve heard, Jaelyn winced when she sat down after returning, but denied anything when Jessica asked if anything was wrong. Then, when she was helping prepare dinner, her grandparents were talking about how she had a glow around her – much like a woman on her wedding night and Jaelyn began blushing profusely.”

“Damn,” Rodney replied. “Thanks.”

News had spread much quicker than Rodney had expected, though he knew he shouldn’t be surprised. Small communities were notorious for knowing everyone’s business – even Atlantis hadn’t been completely impervious. He felt a pang of guilt at thinking of Atlantis at a time like this.

Laura only spoke to him when absolutely necessary and gave him a sad look that made Rodney feel like he had completely let her down *and* kicked her puppy. Rodney sighed as he started his work for the day, wondering how long it would take for the majority of this disaster to blow over.

He wasn’t completely surprised that evening when the people he had been expecting to see for check-ups went to Kirby instead, until Kirby, in exasperation, told them that one lapse in personal judgment didn’t discount Rodney as a healer and that if they were that set on being healed as soon as possible, for them to go to Rodney or come back the next day. A number of them left and only one came over to Rodney.

As the days passed, nothing changed. The other Laprans had closed their ranks against him and Rodney was left to stew in his guilt, with no knowledge of how he could even begin to atone for what he had done. He began wishing fervently that Jaelyn would come to him with news that she had just started her period and that she hadn’t conceived. That way, he could start doing damage control and trying to convince everyone that they were mistaken and that he and Jaelyn really hadn’t done anything and that they were all blowing a few isolated incidences out of the water and that they were all wrong, wrong, wrong. But he hadn’t even glimpsed her since they had returned from the “picnic”, let alone had a chance to speak with her.

He hated not being able to do anything to fix this predicament. He had always fared better when he was able to do *something* in a crisis – even if it was ultimately the wrong thing and would have to start over. The fact that he couldn’t do anything to attempt to fix what was wrong chafed and he felt himself slowly starting to panic.

He spent most of his time trying to work off his nervous energy pacing and trying to not work himself into a panic attack. A number of times, he felt nauseous and laid down on the floor, which garnered him weird yet sympathetic looks from Jillian and absolutely nothing from Kirby.

Rodney also tried meditating and working through his guilt, but it was still too raw to be completely eradicated and every day added fresh guilt to his load as he was continually snubbed by the people who he had come to consider a family – possibly even the truest family he had ever had.

Finally, Kelly brought him a small respite. “It’s been going around that Jaelyn hasn’t had her courses,” he said quietly, falling in step with Rodney one morning on his way to the silk section.

“She could be late,” Rodney replied softly, not daring to look at Kelly.

Kelly shook his head sadly and said, “Jessica says it’s not possible and that the sandstorms could be predicted by Jaelyn’s body.”

“So what happens now?” Rodney asked.

“The elders are going to convene in two days and discuss what your punishments should be.”

“Will we be able to make a case in our defense?”

Kelly snorted and shook his head in derision. “The evidence is iron-clad, Rodney-chan.”

“Not for me,” Rodney replied. “I’ll gladly take full responsibility for what I’ve done. I knew better and still did the wrong thing. I mean for the baby. It’s completely innocent and shouldn’t have to be punished for the foolishness of its parents.”

“I don’t know,” Kelly replied thoughtfully. “I don’t think anyone’s ever tried to do that before.”

“Where will they be meeting?” Rodney asked in resignation.

“Probably in our borough. It would be easier that way, if they need to call on either you, Jaelyn, or your families while they’re making their deliberations.”

“What about you and Jennifer?”

“That is a possibility as well. I wish you luck, Rodney-chan.”

Rodney nodded as Kelly dropped back and turned to head back. He spent the rest of the day contemplating what he would need to say in the baby’s defense.

Rodney sighed again as he glanced at the curtain to his quarters from where he sat in front of Jean’s quarters. Kirby, Jean, and the rest of the elders had convened just after breakfast and no one had heard anything from them since. He wanted to know what was going on. He put down the Ancient device with another sigh, not caring that the Darshans where going to be here in a few days and he still had one more piece to do as well. It seemed a little ludicrous to be working on Ancient trifles when his, Jaelyn, and the baby’s fates were hanging in the balance.

Jean ducked through the curtain, caught his eye, and nodded grimly. Rodney stood and went across the commons to her. As he went, he wondered if the elder of each borough did all the leg work whenever a problem in their borough was dealt with. Jean definitely seemed to be doing so.

“Well?” he asked, expectantly.

“We will speak with you now,” she replied, “since we have been informed that there is something you wish to say.”

Rodney followed Jean into his quarters and looked around at the familiar faces gathered there and the serious expressions they all wore. He bit down on his tongue to keep from saying something – anything – to bring some levity to the situation to ease the tension and thereby get himself into more trouble. He also gripped the loose fabric of his pants to focus and keep himself from babbling profusely as he apologized and asked for forgiveness. He took a steadying breath as Jean seated herself next to Kirby.

“We’ve been told you have something you wish to say, Rodney-kun,” Kirby said calmly.

“I do,” Rodney replied, licking his lips. At Kirby’s nod, he continued, “I wanted to apologize to all of you for my actions. I knew better and yet I willfully disobeyed. I should bear the brunt of the punishment, seeing as how I overheard Jaelyn and Jennifer and I was the one who decide to pursue the subject. If I hadn’t, we probably wouldn’t be in this situation. I had thought that, by taking control, I’d be able to manage whatever Jaelyn was going through and we could deal with it before it became a bigger problem.” He laughed shakily. “That obviously isn’t the case at this point and I’ve obviously screwed things up big time. I’m sorry for that and humbly submit myself to whatever punishment you deem necessary, even if that means throwing me out into the middle of a sandstorm. All I’m asking is if Jaelyn conceives and has a child, that you don’t punish it. The baby is innocent of all of our actions.”

There was a quiet moment as the elders considered what Rodney had said. Then Jean spoke up and said, “We thank you for your apology and forthrightness, Rodney. We still have much to consider before we make a final decision on punishment. Would you please excuse us?”

“Yes, definitely,” he replied quickly. “Thank you all for this opportunity.” He made a quick bow to them before turning and leaving as quickly as possible without actually fleeing.

Jillian met him outside. “You need to eat,” she said, pushing a plate of food into his hands. “Considering how much you’ve been worrying, I’m surprised your empty stomach hasn’t caught up to you yet.”

“I thought –” He looked at her confused as he reflexively took the plate.

“You thought what?” she asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” he replied hastily. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied brusquely before returning to her work.

Rodney retreated across the commons as he ate and resumed his watch on his quarters. At random intervals, Jean would exit. First, she approached Jaelyn, to take her in to speak to the elders. Then it was Kelly’s turn, who was followed by Jennifer. Then Jaelyn’s parents and sister were summoned, followed by Jillian. In between, everything was quiet in the commons. When their neighbors returned for lunch, they ate in their own quarters and filed back out as quietly as they had come in.

Out of boredom, Rodney began working on the Ancient device again, needing something to divert himself from burning a hole in the curtain to his quarters. This device at least seemed mildly interesting, if not very useful in the grand scheme of things. As far as he could tell, all it did was play music. As cool as an Ancient iPod might be – especially to Atlantis’ sociologists and ethno-whoevers, Rodney was never sure what to call them – it wouldn’t be of any help to them unless the music had the ability to attack the Wraith’s central nervous system or something.

The device switched songs and the one that came on caught Rodney’s attention completely. It was so hauntingly beautiful that it made his chest hurt. He closed his eyes as he listened and let the emotions and images that the music evoked wash over him. It made him think of Atlantis – John teaching him how to fly the Jumpers, the sunset off the North Pier, grabbing a bite to eat with the rest of the team late at night after returning from a mission, the sight of the wormhole stabilizing in the ‘Gate. As the song faded out, Rodney let out a slow breath and smiled sadly. He still missed them, but would be forever grateful that he was able to spend part of his life with them. He hoped they were well and that they’d cross paths again one day.

He slowly opened his eyes, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light, and looked up to find Jean gazing down at him with a soft smile.

“I have never heard anything like it before,” she said. “It was… interesting. It is time for your punishment to be issued.”

Rodney nodded and stood, following her back into his quarters, where Jaelyn was waiting with her parents, Jillian, and the rest of the elders. Jillian stood next to Rodney and gave him a small smile of encouragement.

“We have come to a decision,” Jean said after she reseated herself next to Kirby. “You will both be exiled for the rest of this month, as well as the next two. You will be getting married as soon as the arrangements can be made and everything is in order. Until then, you will not be allowed to spend any time alone together.”

Focusing her gaze on Rodney, Jean continued, “Rodney, once it is certain that Jaelyn has conceived, in addition to fulfilling your normal duties, you will be completely in charge of the baby’s textiles for its first cycle and you are not to accept any hand-me-downs. We will enforce this. You will also be completely responsible for taking care of Jaelyn and the baby’s health. Do you understand?”

“I do,” Rodney replied with a nod, the punishment more fair and lenient than he was expecting.

Turning to Jaelyn, she said, “Jaelyn, you will be solely responsible for preparing for the wedding and your life together with Rodney. I understand that he already has some of the things you will both need, so you will need to acquire those things from him in order to see what you still need. Do you understand?”

“I do,” she replied quietly, looking beaten.

“Good. This matter is now settled.”

The elders stood and, except for Kirby, filed out of their quarters. “I suggest you both take some time to think about what you’ve done,” Kirby told them before leaving as well.

“That’s all I’ve been doing,” Rodney muttered under his breath as they followed him.

“I’d better get those items from you,” Jaelyn told Rodney.

He could hear the sadness in her voice and knew that she wasn’t happy about the turn of events. He refused to feel sympathy for her. She had known that something like this would be a possible outcome. “Okay,” he replied. “Let me go get them.”

Her parents waited outside as Jaelyn, her sister, and Jillian followed him back into his quarters and over to his area. He loaded their arms with a myriad of items before taking the last of it himself and they headed over to Jaelyn’s family’s quarters. They put the things there and Rodney and Jillian made a quick retreat before they were caught up in the conversation with Jaelyn’s anxious grandparents.

Rodney was surprised at how the “exile” worked. Things went on like they always had, except now the effort people made to avoid them was more noticeable. And every time he saw Jaelyn, she looked pensive and sad and Rodney hated himself for thinking it had been a good idea to go through with it in the first place.

And he didn’t spend much time with her, either. They were kept busy with their guilds, her work to prepare for the wedding, and his duties as a healer – which still weren’t being utilized as often as they had been. Rodney wondered if that was because of the exile or because they were still pissed at him for his lapse in judgment, but there was no way he was actually going to *ask*. They hardly even saw each other.

“We need to talk,” Jessica told him when he returned from the silk guild on the first day of their second month of exile. “And bring your medicine bag.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied. He went to his quarters and grabbed his bag before going to her family’s quarters. Everyone was there, looking at him expectantly. Jaelyn was sitting to one side, her hands on her stomach and her eyes closed. She looked pale and worn out.

“Jaelyn has conceived,” Jessica said once the curtain was closed. “She missed her female cycle this past month and she has begun feeling sick.”

“Are you sure it’s not stress over what’s been happening?” Rodney asked, not completely sure how the female body worked, but wanting to be certain of what Jessica was saying.

“I’m sure it’s not,” she replied archly. “I’d like to think I would know the difference, having borne two daughters myself and seeing them into womanhood.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied as placating as he could muster. “I just want to be certain. So, how are we going to handle this?”

“We are going to keep this as quiet as possible. Right now, there’s enough tension in the village over what the two of you have already done. We would rather not add to it by admitting that Jaelyn is, in fact, pregnant until we absolutely have to. I would like you to examine Jaelyn to see how she’s doing. And I want this to be as easy a pregnancy as you can possibly make it for her.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied as he went over to Jaelyn. “Hey,” he said quietly, crouching down next to her. “How do you feel?”

“Horrible,” she replied. “The morning sickness isn’t just in the morning and my stomach’s been hurting.”

Rodney felt her forehead. “Well, it doesn’t feel like your temperature’s elevated, so that should help with what I can give you. Tell me what your symptoms are so I can see what I can give you to help with the pain.”

As Jaelyn went through her symptoms, Rodney listened carefully, doing his best to tune out the quiet whispers of her family as they watched them together. While they had always been fair and accommodating, he wasn’t sure what they could do at this point, but he didn’t want to give them any reason to make either his or Jaelyn’s lives miserable if they felt either one or both of them was overstepping their bounds.

“I think I know what will work for you,” he said once she had finished. He pulled out an empty sachet bag and filled it with various leaves and some root pieces. “Make a tea out of this and drink it as soon as you can in the morning. It should help with the morning sickness and upset stomach. If it doesn’t, let me know and we’ll figure something else out, okay?” He gave her an encouraging smile.

“Okay,” she replied, taking the sachet.

“How are the wedding preparations coming?” he asked.

She made a face and replied, “They’re coming. It’s hard to decide what to do about the wedding dress, though. I don’t know how big I’ll be by the wedding and I don’t want it to be too big or too small. Laura’s been very accommodating, though, when I’ve talked with her about it.”

“If it helps, I don’t care what you get married in, as long as you’re happy,” Rodney replied. “Do we have a date yet?”

Jaelyn nodded. “It’s going to be the first day of the tenth month. Everything should be ready by then, it’ll be before we become too busy, and hopefully the baby won’t be born before then.”

“Hopefully not,” Rodney replied.

“How’s the baby?” she asked, brightening.

“It’s still too early to tell,” he replied. “You’ve only been pregnant for 15 days.”

Jaelyn looked crestfallen. “Do you think it knows what’s going on?”

“At this point, probably not,” Rodney replied. “It’s still too small. But I’ve heard that as it gets bigger, it does and that it usually responds to things like voices and music.”

“Music?” Jaelyn asked. “Is that the noise the Morykons have?”

“Yes,” Rodney answered with a laugh. “And many other cultures too – mine included.”

“You’ll do all the ceremonies for our baby, right?” she asked, looking at Rodney worriedly.

“Of course,” he replied, not sure which ones she was referring to and making a mental note to ask Kirby. “I promised the elders I would care for you and the baby and I believe that includes the necessary ceremonies too.”

“Good.” She laughed uneasily. “I’m sorry, Rodney. I’m just worried about our baby and I feel so helpless right now.” She gently rubbed her stomach.

“It’s understandable,” he replied with a warm smile. “I’d better go before your parents stare holes into my back, okay?” She nodded and stood with him. “I’ll check in on you in a couple days, if not sooner, to see how you’re doing.”

“Thank you, Rodney-chan,” she replied. “You’re more than I deserve with the way I’ve been treating you.”

Rodney said his good-byes to the rest of the family and left. Once he was in the commons, he took a few deep, steadying breaths. He was going to be married in just over eight months and a father soon after. He wasn’t ready for this. There was no way he *would* be ready for this. How was he supposed to be ready for this?

His first thought was to talk to Kelly about it, but didn’t know how valuable his advice would be aside from some comforting and well-meaning platitudes. In most situations, Rodney wouldn’t mind that – but right now he needed actual advice, help, direction, anything that would help him. Hopefully Kirby would be able to help him out.

“How are things going?” Kirby asked, looking up from the dice game he was playing when Rodney returned.

“Things are okay,” Rodney replied. “She’s already getting morning sickness and she’s been having an upset stomach. I gave her an herbal tea to help. Otherwise, she seems to be doing just fine physically. I think she’s scared about the whole marriage thing, now that it’s becoming real.”

“Then the two of you should have thought about that before you rushed into having a child if you weren’t sure about getting married,” Kirby replied dryly.

“Hey, I’m the one that’s been perfectly fine with getting married!” Rodney replied, getting defensive and crossing his arms over his chest. “She’s the one that didn’t want to get married.”

“So I gathered when we spoke with her,” Kirby answered mildly. “And I assume you had planned to find a way to force her to get married anyway to, at the very least, protect her and the baby?”

“Yes,” Rodney replied, his tone still slightly mulish, as if daring Kirby to challenge his motives.

“You’re worried about getting married, aren’t you?” Kirby asked, eyeing Rodney critically.

“Maybe a little,” Rodney admitted, relaxing a little as he did so. Sitting down next to Kirby, he asked, “Were you nervous when you married your wife?”

“I was *terrified*,” Kirby replied with a smile. “She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and I was still in my growth spurt. I was convinced that she wouldn’t have me. But we got along great – it was like we were made for each other.” Sobering, he continued, “But not every match is that easy, Rodney-kun, as you’re finding out. And even my marriage wasn’t completely perfect. As long as you keep your eyes and ears open and are willing to put in the effort, then I’m sure you’ll both do fine.”

“I hope so,” Rodney replied. “I do care for her a lot, Kirby. Maybe even love her. I’m just not good at this sort of thing.”

“But you’re trying. And I’m sure that means a lot to Jaelyn, even if right now she feels that she can’t love you. It’s a common enough concern, so please don’t take it personally.”

“I’m trying not to,” Rodney replied, smiling self-depreciatingly. “But you know the history of my love life. And I really do want to make this work, so I’m willing to do whatever I can to make it work.”

“All I can tell you in the end is to not worry and that everything will work out for the best.”

Rodney breathed a sigh of relief when Jean told him that his exile was officially over. The past two and half months had been harder than he had expected them to be. A day of silence was one thing – it was a personal choice to not have contact with others and even then it was more about not speaking and keeping one’s self contained. Exile, on the other hand, was having it imposed by outside forces and not even being allowed the companionable understanding that the other Laprans provided because this time they were going out of their way to actually avoid you unless some sort of contact or communication was imperative and couldn’t wait. And two and a half months of it was downright inhumane.

At least now Rodney understood why the Laprans didn’t need a harsher penalty system. Being closed out like that by everyone was worse than being thrown out into the sandstorm – which would have been an easy out, but not as effective.

“So, how does it feel to be back?” Kelly asked when he came over after dinner that night for a game of dice.

“Pretty good,” Rodney replied with a grin. “Maybe I should get exiled more often – everyone’s been acting like they miss me.”

Kelly’s horrified look at the mere thought of being exiled turned to laughter. “We *have* missed you, Rodney-chan. Just because you were the one that was exiled doesn’t mean that we liked it either.”

“I think the best part is everyone wanting to tell me everything that’s been going on the past two and half months – even though I’ve been right here *the* *whole* *time*.” Rodney chuckled, rolling the dice. “I never thought I’d say this, but the kids have to be the best. They’re so damn excited and eager to be the first to tell me things.”

Kelly chuckled as well before picking up the dice. “Admit it, Rodney-chan, behind that gruff exterior you have a soft spot for kids.”

Rodney nodded as he pursed his lips into a tight smile, his eyes still laughing. “I think I do – just don’t let it get out or my reputation could be ruined.”

“I won’t tell anyone, cross my heart.” Kelly drew an X over his heart before handing over the dice. “I think you’ll be a great father when the time comes.”

“I certainly hope so,” Rodney replied, turning serious. “We’ll find out in a few months, now won’t we?”

“Oh, believe me, you’ll be fine. If Beth and Chris’s children are turning out fine, yours will be great.”

“They are a little out there, aren’t they?” Passing the dice back and forth between hands as he changed topics, Rodney said, “I do have something I need to ask you. Will you be my best man for the wedding?”

“Best man?” Kelly asked, giving Rodney a confused look.

“It’s a custom among my people that someone – traditionally a man – helps the groom prepare for his wedding and helps him during the ceremony. I figured it would be a good idea to make it ‘official’,” he used air quotes around the word, “since you were going to be guiding me through the whole process anyway.”

“Of course. I would be honored to ‘officially’ do it.” He repeated Rodney’s gesture with a laugh. “How are the plans for the wedding coming, by the way?” He took the dice out of Rodney’s hand.

“I honestly have no idea,” Rodney replied. “Jaelyn has been taking care of it and we haven’t talked about it the last few times I’ve been over to check on her. I’m assuming there aren’t any problems because I know Jessica would either have made Jaelyn tell me or would have told me herself.”

“You better ask her the next time you see her. While there’s practically no chance of the two of you getting out of it now, I don’t want there to be any unexpected surprises on your wedding day.”

“Good idea,” Rodney replied, rolling the dice. “I’ll be seeing her this afternoon.”

“And I think it’ll be a good idea if you propose to her again as an act of good will to her family to show that you really do care for her and that you really do mean what you said about marrying her.”

Rodney grimaced. “I don’t think I ever proposed to her to begin with. It always seemed like everyone just expected and assumed that we would get married.”

“Well, your whole courtship has been a kind of proposal,” Kelly explained, “so if things were going well and had continued that way, then you wouldn’t have had to worry about the actual proposal ceremony. But considering how the two of you bungled things with deciding to have a baby before you were married, I think it would be a good idea if you did it as an act of goodwill to show your concern for what they think of you and your impending marriage to their daughter.”

“And should this be done as soon as possible?”

“I think so, especially since Jaelyn’s already set a date for the wedding.” Kelly gave Rodney the dice. “But this means that you should talk to Jaelyn first to find out what’s going on with your wedding – even if she doesn’t want to talk about it. Because it’ll reflect poorly on you if you don’t know what’s going on with your own wedding, even if the elders made Jaelyn in charge of it. And ask her to set it up with her parents. I think that’ll help both of you as well. If you try to set it up, they’ll think you’re trying to take control of the wedding again. If Jaelyn does it, it could be seen as a concession on her part – an ‘I realize we messed up and we’re trying to fix it by doing the right thing’ sort of thing.”

“I’m surprised you know all this stuff without every having gotten married yourself,” Rodney told him.

Kelly shrugged as he rolled the dice in his hands. “A lot of this we’re taught from a young age to prepare us. Other things I’m inferring from the things I do know.” He stood. “It’s getting late, so I’d better go. But you should definitely talk to Jaelyn tomorrow.”

“I will,” Rodney replied with a nod as he also stood. Grinning, he said, “I’m glad we can spend time together again, Kelly.”

“Me too,” Kelly replied with a warm smile. “Tell Jillian and Kirby I said hi when they get back in.”

Rodney nodded as he watched Kelly leave. He shook his head at himself after the curtain dropped back into place. He didn’t know what had made him think of it, but whatever momentary physical attraction he had felt for Kelly was completely gone now and in its wake was a deep affection and admiration for him. Along with a profound gratitude that he knew what to do because Rodney knew that without him, he would have screwed things up royally a long time ago.

The next day, Rodney went to Jaelyn’s quarters after dinner and Keith let him in. Jaelyn’s grandparents were especially curious how he had held up during his exile – which Rodney found to be both amusing and heart-warming. After exchanging pleasantries with the whole family, he pulled Jaelyn aside to give her a check-up.

“How are you doing?” he asked after they had sat down.

“Good,” she replied with a shy smile. “Still a little sore, but the morning sickness is gone.” She worried her bottom lip. “There’s still a bit of blood, but not much.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to Kirby about it since I don’t know what else we can do. How’s your appetite?”

“Good, I guess. I’m getting hungrier more often. This must be what you feel like,” she teased.

“Not quite,” he replied with an amused smile. “Mine happens a little more quickly, whereas I think your hunger is a little more constant, am I right?”

Jaelyn nodded. “And is wanting weird things normal?”

“Among my people it is,” Rodney replied. “What have you been wanting?”

“Curried darchnans.”

“Huh.” Rodney looked at her with a speculative look. “I’ve never thought of that combination before.” He thought for another moment and how the spices would mix with the sweet fruit. “But I can see how it might taste good.” He grinned. “The fruit on my plants is almost ripe, so we’ll have to try it.”

Jaelyn grinned too. “You’re the best, Rodney-chan.”

When they finished, Rodney said, “I need to talk to you about the wedding.”

“What about it?” she asked apprehensively.

Rodney shrugged casually. “I just wanted to see how things were going. We haven’t really talked about it, at all, and I was just curious.”

Jaelyn half-shrugged. “The wedding plans are coming. I’ve talked with some of our trade allies that can get things for us that we’ll need and have made deals with them. The ones you’ve already made deals with are still expecting your items.”

“I know.” Rodney nodded. “They’ll be ready on time.”

“I told you that Laura and I have talked about the dress and have decided to wait until we get closer to see how big I’m going to get. I really don’t want to be as big as a pregnant yak and have a dress that fits the way I am now.”

“I’d suggest we get married now, but I doubt that would go over very well,” Rodney replied with a quick laugh.

“I doubt it,” Jaelyn replied with a level look.

“I think you should mention to your parents that I want to officially propose to you.”

“Oh, really?” Jaelyn answered, arching an eyebrow. “Was this your idea or Kelly’s?”

“Well… uh… Kelly’s,” he sputtered. “I was going to ask them myself, but he convinced me that it would be better for both of us if you asked them for me and made it sound like it was your idea.”

Jaelyn thought about it for a moment. “He does have a point. I’ll tell them. Come prepared to do it at the check-up after the next one. I’m sure it will take a while for you and Kelly to prepare, since he tends to be a perfectionist.” She rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath. “I can see now why my mother warned me when you first broached the subject of courting. Bond friends can be exasperating if you’re not careful.”

“Kelly isn’t exasperating,” Rodney defended. “And I think Jennifer’s quite nice.”

Jaelyn let out a sharp laugh. “It’s a woman thing, Rodney-chan. We tend to get jealous easily when someone else is spending time with our betrothed, even if it is his bond friend.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it, though. I know that most of my jealousy comes from Kelly spending so much time with you because he is your bond friend, plus he’s teaching you a lot of the things you need to know.” She frowned. “Why isn’t Kirby teaching this stuff to you?”

Rodney shrugged. “Kelly just took it upon himself to teach me. And I think Kirby felt like I might actually pay attention if Kelly taught me all these things.”

“You’re not that bad a student, are you?” she asked, giving him a sharp look.

“I hope not,” Rodney replied. “I paid very good attention to him when he was teaching me the healing arts.”

“Which he admits to,” Jaelyn agreed.

“And I did just fine in the silk guild,” he added with a chuckle. “I think Kirby was just tired of having to answer all my questions.”

Keith approached them. “You’ll have to excuse us, Rodney-sensei. It’s time we started preparing for sleep.”

“Sure, no problem,” Rodney replied as he and Jaelyn stood. “Jaelyn’s doing well,” he told Keith. “And I’ll be back in a few days to check on her again,” he said to both of them. Turning to Jaelyn, he added, “But don’t hesitate to come see me before then if anything changes, okay?”

“Okay,” she replied with a nod.

“I feel like I’ve done this before,” Rodney commented dryly to Kelly as he mimed going through the motions for the tea ceremony again.

“It’s because you have,” Kelly replied in exasperation.

“Then remind me why we’re doing it again?”

“Because I want to make sure you’re absolutely perfect for the proposal ceremony. You’re not going to mess anything up if I can help it.”

“Maybe you should’ve helped me plan the ‘picnic’ then,” Rodney muttered.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Kelly replied sharply. “I got an earful for even *knowing* about it. We’re not even going to go there.”

Rodney suddenly laughed, an image of Kelly doing a traditional wedding. “You know, you’d make great wedding coordinator where I’m from.”

“Wedding coordinator?” Kelly asked, carefully trying the words out, as if he didn’t know what they meant.

“Yeah.” Rodney set an empty cup in front of Kelly. “It’s someone that plans weddings for others and takes care of most of the details. You definitely seem to be enjoying helping – and pestering – me with mine.”

Kelly blushed and ducked his head. “I am enjoying it more than I thought I would be. And I want to make this work for you, Rodney. I think you deserve something special after all you went through to adjust to us and our ways.”

“Thank you, Kelly,” Rodney replied, touched by Kelly’s sentiment. “And how did you learn all of this?”

“Some of it we learn growing up. And the rest I learned from Kirby. I think it was a bit of a test to see who would become his second until he could have time to fully train someone.”

“And what happened?”

Kelly laughed. “Birthing season. We had a record number of calves that cycle. I think all of our cows were pregnant. And since it was just my dad and I…. I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this.”

Rodney nodded. “What’s the use of being able to heal people if they don’t have anything to eat? I get it.” He frowned. “Haven’t you and your dad ever thought of getting more help?”

Kelly shrugged. “Most days we don’t need it. And since people are willing to help on the days we do need it….” He shrugged again. Seeing Rodney was done going through the tea ceremony, he said, “Okay, good. Now do it again – but this time for real.”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Oh, you’ve *got* to be kidding me.” But he obediently gathered everything up and reset it to begin again.

“What is the purpose of the proposal ceremony?” Kelly asked him.

“To verbally and explicitly state my intention to marry Jaelyn – both to her and her family,” Rodney answered as he poured the water into the kettle and set the kettle over the fire.

“And why would you need to, if the courtship has been going well?” Kelly relaxed back against Rodney’s cot, his arms resting on top of his knees.

“It could be done because her parents are traditionalists, or as a sign of respect from me to her family, or because something got royally screwed up – as in my case.”

“Good. Now, what are you going to say to Jillian?”

After Kelly left, Jillian sat down across from Rodney. “I think you’re doing a great job,” she told him with a grin.

“Thanks,” Rodney replied, letting out a tired sigh. “Kelly’s a hard teacher.”

“But at least he’s looking out for you. Look, I know you know that the proposal ceremony is a big thing for a lot of reasons, but, as your sister – sort of, I want to make sure you understand something else. The proposal ceremony is something that’s romanticized among us women. We like the idea – however unrealistic it is – that the man who we’ve been matched to will court us and completely sweep us off our feet and that he’ll perform the perfect proposal ceremony so that our parents will say yes and let us marry so we can live happily ever after.”

Rodney started to open his mouth, but she glared at him and continued, “And while I doubt Jaelyn still feels that way, if she ever did, I want you to know that deep down, she might still feel that way. So *please* don’t screw this up, if only for me.”

Rodney laughed, not knowing how else to respond. “Don’t worry, Jillian-kun. I promise to make this ceremony as perfect as possible.” Anticipating her next comment, he added, “And I promise to tell you everything when I get back.”

She grinned. “Great. I know you’ll do it perfectly.”

“Nervous?” Kirby asked Rodney as he adjusted Rodney’s shirt and brushed off some invisible dust.

“A little,” Rodney replied. He paused before admitting, “Okay, a lot.”

Kirby smiled. “You’ll be fine, I promise. With the number of times Kelly has put you through the ceremony, I have no doubt that you’ll get a yes from Keith and Jessica.”

“I certainly hope so,” Rodney replied as he gathered up the things he would need to make dinner and tea. With a wry smile, he added, “Don’t wait up for me.”

“Go,” Kirby replied, “before Jaelyn comes to drag you over. Besides, the sooner you go over, the sooner you’ll be able to finish and get back to put Jillian, Kelly, and yourself out of your collective misery.”

Rodney laughed. “I’m going. I’m going.”

Jamie was waiting for Rodney at the entrance to her family’s quarters when he arrived. “Don’t be nervous,” she whispered to him.

“Am I that obvious?” he replied.

“Yeah, kind of. You look like you’re going to a burial.”

“To my native people, asking a woman’s parents to marry her is practically the same thing.”

Jamie giggled as she took a cuple of the items in Rodney’s arms and stepped aside for him to enter. “I’ve been told to assist you with whatever preparations you need to make, but that otherwise you’re on your own.”

“Thanks,” Rodney replied as he entered. He bowed to Jaelyn and the rest of her family, who were looking at him expectantly.

Without any preamble, Rodney went to work setting up the items for the tea ceremony and the dinner he would be preparing, using the time to center himself and focus on what he needed to do. He was grateful for Jaime’s help, even if it was only as an extra set of hands, as he prepared dinner.

As they ate, Keith initiated the conversation Rodney had been dreading. “I understand there’s a specific reason you’re here tonight, Rodney-sensei,” he said. “And it has nothing to do with making us a good dinner.”

Rodney nodded as he swallowed. “That’s right,” he replied as he turned to Jaelyn. “Jaelyn, I have enjoyed the time we’ve spent together these past few months and I have a question to ask you. You don’t have to answer me right away and I won’t be offended if you want to take time to think about it.” He took a deep breath as she looked at him expectantly. “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Jaelyn grinned and replied, “I will.”

Rodney turned back to Jessica and Keith. “Keith and Jessica, I want to thank you for allowing me to court your daughter. And I’m sorry that I broke your trust with my actions. I realize that having your consent to marry Jaelyn is as important as her consent is and I would greatly appreciate your consideration in allowing me to marry her, regardless of your final decision.”

Keith and Jessica exchanged quiet whispers and Jaelyn gave Rodney a supportive smile. “Rodney-sensei,” Keith answered in a serious tone, “Like our daughter, we have already made up our minds. Even though you lost some of our trust with your actions, you have earned it back with how you have treated our daughter, with your actions before and after the ‘incident’ and with how you’ve handled yourself with maturity throughout your time here. Jessica and I are agreed that you are allowed to marry our daughter, provided,” he smiled, “that your tea ceremony is as good as the last time you demonstrated it for us.”

“It’s as good, if not better,” Rodney replied, feeling relief wash through him as he stood to gather the finished dinner dishes and accept congratulations from Jaelyn’s grandparents. Now he just had to get through the actual wedding and the birth.

Rodney entered his quarters and closed his eyes with a sigh of relief. It was two and a half months before the beginning of the tenth month festival and the wedding and he was totally ready for it to be over. He heard some giggling and opened his eyes to see Jillian and Kyle laughing from where they were sitting by the fire.

“What are you laughing at?” he asked sharply as he advanced on them. They both looked at him in mock horror until he pounced on Kyle and started tickling him, causing the child to laugh. He released Kyle when he started gasping for air. As Kyle sat up, Rodney asked, “When did you get to be so big?”

“When you weren’t looking,” Kyle replied with a grin.

“Obviously not. You’re what, five cycles old now?”

“I’m *six* cycles old,” Kyle replied in a huff.

Rodney pretended to count on his fingers. “So you are. Is there any stew left, or did you eat it all?”

Kyle huffed. “I can’t eat *that* much,” he replied rolling his eyes.

“Here,” Jillian replied with a smile as she handed over a steaming bowl. “You better get back to your parents, Kyle.”

“Aww, Jillian. Do I have to?” he whined.

“Yes, or I’ll tell them about the extra dessert I gave you.”

Kyle obeyed quickly, giving Rodney a wave on his way out.

“That wasn’t coercive at *all*,” Rodney replied with a laugh as he watched Kyle go.

“I love the kid, but he’s tiring after a while,” Jillian replied as she dished out her own bowl of stew. “I do feel like I’m more ready for when I have my own children, though.”

“That’s good. Have you thought about talking your dad into matching you with someone?”

Jillian shook her head yet. “I’m not *that* ready. How are things coming for you and Jaelyn? The big day’s coming quickly.”

Rodney shrugged. “As far as I can tell, it’s coming. Jaelyn’s still playing things close to her chest, but it does seem like everything’s coming together.”

“And she looks like she’s due any day now. Has the pregnancy gotten any easier?”

“A little. But some things have stayed the same – the bleeding, the nausea, the appetite, but not being able to eat much. Even Kirby doesn’t know what’s going on, so I’ve been doing the best I can to help her out. We’ll both be a lot happier once the baby’s been delivered.”

“I hope you let me spoil it.”

“Only if you promise to then keep it until it calms down.”

Jillian stuck her tongue out at him. “Spoilsport.”

“Hey, all’s fair. You made me do that a few times with Kyle.”

“Okay, okay.” Jillian started dishing out another bowl of stew as Kirby entered their quarters.

“How’s Jaelyn?” Kirby asked as he sat down and gratefully accepted the food from Jillian.

“About the same,” Rodney replied as he finished eating. “We’ll both be very happy once the wedding’s over and the baby’s born.”

“How’s your outfit coming?” Jillian asked between bites.

Rodney made a face. “It’s coming. It’s going a lot slower than I had expected, though. The things for the baby are going well, though. I’m almost done with the list Laura gave me. Like I said, I’ll be glad once the wedding is over and the baby’s born. Then we can start getting into something that looks like a normal routine.”

Kelly hailed them from outside and Rodney got up to officially let him in. “Good evening,” he said, bowing slightly to Kirby and Jillian.

“Would you like something to eat?” Jillian asked, gesturing towards the pot of stew.

“No, thanks,” he replied. “I just ate. But thank you.”

“Can you sit for a minute, or did you need me for something?” Rodney asked.

“I can sit,” Kelly replied with a smile. “I just came to see how you were holding up.”

“Since lunchtime?” Rodney replied with a laugh. “I’m fine. Why?”

“Well, considering how many questions and comments I’ve been getting about your wedding, I figured that you must be completely inundated by them.”

Rodney half shrugged. “It actually hasn’t been too bad. Though if I hear ‘Soon you’ll be able to do it properly’, with a wink one more time, I may not be responsible for my actions. For once in my life, I think I’m preferring the kids to the adults.” The other three laughed and Rodney replied indignantly, “Don’t laugh! I’m serious! The boys are a mixture of intrigued and grossed out about the whole process and the girls think it’s the coolest thing ever. What makes it even better is that they all want to help and every morning can’t wait to tell me their new ideas.”

“And here you thought we’d all make you go it alone,” Jillian replied with a laugh and a smile.

“Honestly, I didn’t know what to think,” Rodney replied as he finished up his stew. “It wasn’t like you three were giving me any guidance. I just did what Jaelyn had told me what I needed to do. I really should’ve known better from past experiences. But I am glad that everyone and everything seems to be okay now after what Jaelyn and I did.”

“Feel like sparring some?” Kelly asked as Rodney cleaned his bowl out.

“That sounds great,” Rodney replied, stashing his bowl next to the fire pit and grabbing his staff from under his cot. “I could blow off some steam.”

“Rodney-san, how do you know if you love someone?” Lisa asked him the next morning when he arrived in the silk borough.

“Well, it depends on what sort of love you’re talking about,” he replied, trying to keep a straight face at her serious expression and the expectant looks on the faces of the girls standing behind her. “There’s love for your family, love for your friends, love for your husband – or wife, if you’re a boy. Which one were you talking about?”

“You know, *love* love,” she replied, emphasizing the word. “Do you love Jaelyn-san?”

“Of course I do,” Rodney replied. “I don’t know if I’m *in* love with her yet, but I’m very fond of her and I like her a lot.” He let out a puff of a breath. “And as for how you know – you just know. It’s wanting to be with the other person as much as you can, missing them a lot when you’re not with them, worrying when they’re hurt or don’t feel good, and you’re happy when they’re happy.”

Lucy called them to order and the group disbanded, grumbling, to work on their various projects.

“That was very sweet of you,” Laura said when Rodney sat down next to her.

“I try,” he replied as he sorted through his skeins to put them in the right order for his work. “How they figure I’m even remotely qualified to answer that sort of question, I have no idea, though.”

“You’re an adult and you’re different from all the other adults here,” she replied as she started weaving. “Therefore, you *must* know *something*.” She gave him a sidelong look with a grin.

Rodney laughed. “You do have a point. Now, if dealing with the adults was only so easy.”

“Is anyone giving you trouble?” Laura asked concern lacing her voice.

“No, thankfully,” Rodney replied. “It’s more of the whole small-town mentality where everyone knows and wants to know everyone else’s business. It’s not malicious, it’s just curiosity.”

“As long as you’re certain you’re okay with it,” Laura replied dubiously.

“Don’t worry,” Rodney replied with a smile. “If I do have a problem, you’ll be the first person who’s help I’ll enlist after my family’s and Kelly.”

“Actually, put me after your family, Kelly, and Jaelyn’s family. They need to be a part of the process too.”

“Duly amended,” Rodney replied with a chuckle.

Rodney settled in to work with a smile on his lips, glad that things were going as well as they could be and that he honestly had nothing to complain about.

“Rodney-sensei, I have something for you,” Brenda told him as she waved him over while he was on his way home.

“I told you, Brenda, that you don’t owe me anything for treating Charles – especially after that meal you made for me.”

“Then what if I told you it was for the baby and not for you? At least come look at it.”

“Okay, okay,” he replied as he headed over to her quarters.

She let him in and made a presentation of showing him the wood cradle in front of one of the cots. “What do you think?” she asked expectantly.

“I think it’s gorgeous,” he replied, going over and crouching down to look at it more closely.

“I had it commissioned when I heard that you and Jaelyn were expecting. And even though I know the two of you are supposed to be doing all the preparations for the baby yourselves, I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to help you both.”

“I hope Jaelyn knows about this,” he said, looking up at her. “I’d hate for her to have already gotten one.”

“Don’t worry,” Brenda replied. “There’s only one tribe that makes cradles and when I talked with their representatives a few months ago, they hadn’t talked with her yet and had promised that they would find a way to not make a second one for her when I explained the situation.”

“Good,” Rodney replied. “When were you planning to give this to her?”

Brenda shrugged. “I haven’t decided yet. Did you want to do it?”

Rodney shook his head. “I think you should. I think it’ll mean more to her if you did.”

Brenda nodded in acknowledgement. “Okay. Charles and I will take it over after dinner this evening.” As they headed out into the commons, she asked, “How are the preparations coming for the wedding and the baby?”

Rodney made a face. “They’re coming. Both Jaelyn and I – and I suspect our families and bound friends – will be very happy once the wedding’s over and the baby’s been born.”

“Well, I wish both of you and the little one all the happiness in the world.”

“Thank you, Brenda,” Rodney replied sincerely. “I really appreciate this.”

Rodney waited until he was well into the hall to the next borough before shaking his head in disbelief, an amused smile on his lips. Even though the elders had told everyone that part of Rodney and Jaelyn’s punishment was to amass all of the things they would need for their wedding and the baby themselves, the rest of the community had still helped them out. They just tended to be a little more under the radar than Rodney guessed they would normally be when they gave them the items.

Something else that was definitely not under the radar at the moment was the amount of ribbing he received from practically everyone regarding his wedding night and how it would fare with Jaelyn being so heavily pregnant. Rodney hadn’t figured their comments would be so ribald, given how discrete they normally were in their proprieties towards sex and intimacy. He didn’t think any of the Marines he had ever worked with were this smutty – and that was saying something. The Marines liked to live up to that stereotype in as many ways possible.

But he had to admit that what he enjoyed the most was the advice that he was continually given. Everyone wanted to pitch in with their two cents about what did and didn’t work for them as a married couple. Most of what he got was good, sound, practical advice. But while he was appreciative, Rodney didn’t know if he could handle one more person telling him that there would be times when the only thing he would be able to do would be to grin and bear it. And who knew that so many people felt that way here on a fairly regular basis? But, somehow, Rodney found it reassuring that, in the end, humans were basically the same wherever he went, regardless of the restrictions placed on them.

Kelly met Rodney as soon as he entered their borough. “Feel like coming over for dinner?” he asked.

“Sure,” Rodney replied. “Let me go tell Jillian. I don’t want her making more food than she has to.”

“I already spoke with her,” Kelly replied, “so she’s not expecting you.”

“Okay. Dinner at your place it is, then.”

As they ate, Rodney said to Kelly, “You really should get married, Kelly-chan. I hate to say it, but I think your culinary art is being wasted on just you, your father, and me – the few times I’m over here.”

Kelly-san laughed. “I see I have someone who agrees with me. Though, I have slightly different reasons for wanting him to get married.”

“Yeah, the standard ones of making sure I’m happy and giving you grandchildren,” Kelly huffed.

Sensing it was a sore subject between the two of them, Rodney tried to lighten the mood a little. “Those aren’t such bad reasons,” he commented. “At least they’re tried and true. I knew a woman back in Russia whose parents wanted her to get married –”

“Please, don’t, Rodney-chan,” Kelly replied with a laugh. “If you start on one of your stories, we’ll be here all night?”

“And that’s a bad thing how?” Rodney responded with a laugh of his own. “We both know you enjoy my stories.”

Kelly rolled his eyes. “*I* might, but I want to protect the tender ears of my father here.”

It was Kelly-san’s turn to roll his eyes. “I’ve heard things that could make you two young bucks blush,” he replied. “So, I don’t know where you got the idea that I need to be protected from what’s out there.”

Kelly blushed bright red as Rodney replied, “I think it’s the universal mentality that while you know your parents gave into certain biological impulses because otherwise you wouldn’t be here, you don’t want to *think* about it, let alone talk about it. And even worse, you don’t want to talk about it anywhere in the general vicinity of your parents.”

Kelly-san chuckled and shook his head as he took another bite of meat. “It’s good to know some things don’t change wherever you are or whatever age you are.”

Rodney nodded. “I agree with that. I’ve been getting that confirmed practically every day since Jaelyn and I started courting and even more so since she became pregnant and our wedding became imminent.”

Kelly sobered. “That’s something I want to talk to you about,” he said, playing with his food. “I’m supposed to be your shadow from now until the wedding. It’s nothing personal, but bound friends are supposed to keep a close eye on the bride and groom starting two or three months before the wedding to make sure they make it to the altar.”

Rodney looked at him for a moment before letting out a choked laugh. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” he asked, incredulous, and Kelly nodded. “Why?”

“To make sure you don’t let your cold feet get the best of you.”

“Believe me,” Rodney replied with a snort, “after everything Jaelyn and I have been through so far, it would take an act of God for me to *not* be at the altar. I’ll be there.”

“Sure, you say that now,” Kelly replied. “But just wait until reality starts setting in.”

“Don’t start worrying him, Kelly-kun,” Kelly-san told him sternly.

“Why would I be worried?” Rodney asked, looking between the two of them. “I think it’s a great idea to make sure people get to the altar, especially in such a small population like this. Just because I don’t think I personally will need it doesn’t mean that I don’t think it’s a good practice overall.”

“Well, honestly, it’s something of a suicide watch,” Kelly told him truthfully. “Now, it hasn’t happened a lot, but there have been a few times when someone has killed themselves rather than go through with the marriage.”

“After going through the whole courtship?” Rodney asked in disbelief. “Why didn’t they just break it off and try for another match?”

“In most cases there wasn’t another match available,” Kelly replied. “And they didn’t want to be with their match for whatever reason.”

“Usually the parents are forcing them or it’s an abusive relationship that they’re going into and they feel that they can’t get out,” Kelly-san clarified. “The latter doesn’t happen often but, sadly, it has. We do have provisions for that sort of situation, if it comes to light.”

“Has there ever been a Romeo and Juliet sort of situation?” Rodney asked, curious. At their blank looks, he thought for a moment before snapping his fingers and saying, “Finnian and Laura – is there any truth to that story?”

“Some, probably,” Kelly-san replied hesitantly, looking at him warily. “Every story we have comes from some kernel of truth, even if the years have obscured the exact details that started it. And, yes, there have been a few couples throughout the generations who have decided to emulate them, but it’s not a common occurrence, no.”

“As I’ve said, you won’t have any problems with me. I like Jaelyn a lot – maybe even love her – so there won’t be any difficulties on my side with marrying her. And, in any case, there’s no way I’m going to back out now after everything we’ve been through.”

“Good,” Kelly-san replied with a nod. “Kelly-kun, you’re helping me with clean up.”

Kelly looked like he was going to protest, but his father glared. He acquiesced and Rodney couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re going to pay for that when we spar after this,” Kelly told him.

“I’d like to see that happen,” Rodney replied with a full laugh. ‘This is good,’ he couldn’t help but think as he watched them make short work of the dinner dishes. He knew that the fact that he was happy and content shouldn’t be a surprise to him any more, but whenever it crept up on him, the revelation blew him away.

“Is it normal that I haven’t seen Jaelyn very much lately?” Rodney asked Kirby as he sat down next to him outside their quarters. He wondered if maybe her parents had decided to cancel the wedding and not tell him. “It is,” Kirby replied. “Normally, the work is shared equally by the two people entering a marriage, so they do see each other, but not as much as they had previously. With Jaelyn doing all of the work, on top of her work for the glass guild and taking care of herself and the baby, she has even less time to spare, even for you. How are you handling the separation?”

“Is this a trick question to see if I’m ready to marry her?” Rodney asked with a wry smile.

“Maybe,” Kirby replied with an enigmatic smile.

“I do miss seeing her on a regular basis. I’ll be happier after the marriage when we’ll be able to settle down and start putting all of this behind us for the last time.”

“You’ll need to remember that adding both her and the baby at the same time to our family will be an adjustment,” Kirby told him levelly.

“I know,” Rodney replied, looking down at his hands. “If you’re worried about how Jillian will react, I’ll talk to her to see what I can do to make the transition easier for her. And hopefully having the baby around will help too, since I know she loves them.”

“It’s possible,” Kirby replied thoughtfully, “but don’t just assume that it will.” He smiled. “I know you’ll make a great husband and father, even with this rough patch that you’re going through. You’ve come a long way since you first came to us and I’m very proud of you and what you’ve accomplished.”

Rodney blushed. “Thank you, Kirby-sensei – that means a lot to me.” He stood. “I’m going to go talk to Jaelyn.”

“You might just want to wait; I hear her and Jasmine coming back from the bathing pool.”

As the pair in question entered the borough, Rodney replied, “Thanks, Kirby,” and waited while they said their goodbyes. Jillian came over to their quarters. “Can I talk to you, Jillian?” he asked.

“Sure,” she replied, giving him a questioning look, “as long as you don’t mind if I do my hair in the process.”

“Not at all,” Rodney replied, shaking his head as he followed her into their quarters. “I just want to make sure that you’re okay with Jaelyn and I getting married in a month and a half.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little late to be asking me that question?” Jillian asked icily as she sat down on her cot and began brushing out her damp hair. “Besides, the two of you were matched, so there’s very little I can do about it. But since you seem so taken with her, that has to mean that she has at least some redeeming qualities. If you’re worried that I’ll cause some sort of scene and disrupt the beginning of your marriage, you don’t have to worry. I promise I’ll be quiet and good and, hopefully, one day Jaelyn and I will be able to get along.”

Rodney looked at her, trying to figure out what to say and stuttered, “I – I don’t –”

Jillian took pity on him and interjected, “Don’t worry,” she replied, bailing him out and patting the cot next to her. “I’m willing to make an effort to like her and get to know her better and let the past go.”

“I wish I knew why you don’t like her,” Rodney replied morosely, sitting down where indicated.

“It’s something I wish to keep private, Rodney-kun,” she told him as she started braiding her hair. “And, don’t worry, it has nothing to do with you. You can stop blaming yourself and thinking you have to feel guilty because you can’t fix it. I only want the best for you and since she makes you happy, I’m happy.”

“But you’ll tell me if things change, right?” he asked, expectantly. “Because I do want you to be okay with what’s going to happen.”

“Oh, Rodney-kun,” Jillian laughed, her demeanor warming. “I –” She started laughing again. “Don’t worry. I promise I’ll do everything I can to make your new life with Jaelyn go as smoothly as possible.” She bound the end of her braid and took his face in her hands. “I promise.”

“Thank you,” Rodney replied as she took her hands away. He grinned. “Maybe after the wedding and the baby’s delivery, we can see about getting you matched.”

Jillian snorted and rolled her eyes. “Riiight. I can just see Dad agreeing to that. I’m still his little girl and I think he wants to keep it that way a little longer. And I’ll admit that I’m enjoying the lack of pressure in that area.”

“Maybe my wedding and the baby will help kick him in gear. You do want to get married, don’t you?”

“Sure,” she replied with a shrug, “at some point – like most girls. I just haven’t really thought about it actually happening.”

“Do you want me to talk to Kirby about it – test the waters and what-not?”

“He’d probably see right through you and tell you that if I wanted to be matched, I should just talk to him myself – even if you told him profusely that it was your idea and that you were the one pushing me into this.”

Kirby stuck his head into their quarters. “Jaelyn wants to see you, Rodney-kun,” he said before withdrawing.

“Duty calls,” Rodney said to Jillian as he stood. “Thank you,” he told her sincerely.

“You’re welcome,” she replied with a smile as she stood and began putting her things away. “Go on – you better not keep her waiting. I’ve heard pregnant women can be very temperamental.”

Rodney laughed and headed out into the commons, noting that Kirby was across the commons, discussing something with Jean, both of them watching him and Jaelyn closely. “Is everything okay?” he asked Jaelyn, concerned that there was another problem with the pregnancy.

“All things considered, everything’s fine at the moment,” she replied with an amused smile, a hand gently rubbing her distended belly. “And hello to you too.”

“Hi,” Rodney replied with a shy smile.

Jaelyn grimaced and Rodney quickly closed the distance and put his hand on her belly. “What happened? Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Fine,” she replied a bit breathlessly. “It’s just that it hurts when the baby moves.” She grimaced again. “It did it again.”

“Huh,” Rodney replied. “I didn’t feel anything. I thought that at this point, you’d be able to feel something.”

“Well, I certainly did,” Jaelyn replied.

“I’ll be right back,” Rodney told her as he guided her over to his stool and helped her sit down. “I’m going to see if I can get something to ease the pain a bit.”

She nodded mutely as Rodney ducked back inside and grabbed his bag, along with a cup of water. When he came back out, she had doubled over and he quickly knelt down beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged his hand off and straightened up, breathing deeply.

“I don’t think you’re okay,” Rodney replied mildly. “Tell me what’s going on.”

Jaelyn shook her head. “It’s the same things it’s been,” she replied, slightly breathless. “I can manage until the baby’s born in a month. I should have known that it wouldn’t be an easy pregnancy, considering that we defied the gods.”

Rodney wanted to comment that the gods had nothing to do with her pain, but held his tongue as he began rummaging through his bag for something to help her. He pulled out some dried, powdered drusma root and added a couple pinches to the water. “Here, drink this,” he said as he handed her the cup. “It should help with the pain.”

“It’s not going to hurt the baby, is it?” Jaelyn asked, worriedly.

“No, the baby shouldn’t be affected at all,” Rodney replied.

“Good,” she answered before taking a sip. “You know, I can’t wait to have the baby.”

“I’m not surprised. It hasn’t been the easiest pregnancy.”

“True.” She took another sip of water at his prompting. “Though I’ve been doing a lot of meditating about this whole situation and working through a lot of my feelings regarding the pregnancy and the wedding and I’m in a much better place regarding the whole thing.”

“Oh, really?” Rodney asked, raising an eyebrow in question. “Did your parents tell you to tell me that?”

She pursed her lips together and glared at him. “No, Rodney-kun, they didn’t. Well, they did make me meditate as part of my penance to them, but that’s it. I’ve realized that all the misgivings I had were based on my fear of not knowing what is going to happen. And the deeper I went in my meditation and the more I talked with my parents and grandparents, the more I realized that my worrying wasn’t going to change anything. I saw that you weren’t suddenly going to change once we got married and that while other things were going to change, we’d have each other, as well as our bound friends, our families, and the rest of the community to help us get through them.”

“It sounds like you’re in a much better place now,” Rodney remarked as she took another sip.

“Oh, I am.” She smiled sweetly as she took another sip. “I’m actually having fun getting ready for the wedding and the baby. Brenda told me she showed you the cradle she had made for us.”

“She did,” Rodney agreed. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“It is. I think our little one will enjoy being rocked to sleep in it.”

“That reminds me – when are we going to pick out a name for the baby?”

“We traditionally don’t name the baby until a week after its birth. And it’s considered bad luck to talk about it before the birth.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied thoughtfully as she finished off the water and took the cup. “I can see why.” Changing subjects, he said, “Why don’t you come for dinner tonight?”

“I’d love to, but my grandparents want me to stay home as much as possible between now and the wedding. It seems like they’re afraid they’ll never see me after the wedding and once the baby’s born.”

Two weeks before the tenth month festival, Rodney finished the last of his outfit for the wedding. With a sigh of relief, he bound off the last seam and took the pants off the loom as Laura came over to inspect his work.

“Good job,” she told him, with a smile and a nod of approval, after she had inspected the cream-colored garment. “These will look amazing with your shirt and Jaelyn’s dress.”

“Are you sure blue is an acceptable color for a wedding dress?” Rodney asked dubiously as he glanced to the sky blue dress and shirt hanging on their finished pole. “I’m only asking because I don’t want to jinx our marriage any more than we already have.”

Laura laughed as she hung the pants up next to his shirt. “Don’t worry, Rodney. Blue is the standard color for both brides and grooms.” Her expression turned wistful. “I only wish I had been able to make your garments as well, Rodney-chan. But I’m proud to see how far you’ve come in your weaving. You’ll be an excellent master in two more cycles.” Her eyes gleamed as she added, “And I’m sure you’ll make an excellent teacher.”

“Oh, good lord,” Rodney replied, rolling his eyes. “I’m going to have to teach one of them, aren’t I?”

“Oh, come on, it won’t be that bad,” Laura replied. “Besides, when you’re teaching, you’ll have power over them. These kids know they don’t have to listen to you because they’re in the same boat as you, even though they seem to adore you regardless.”

“Which I have no idea where that comes from. I usually tend to be mean and cantankerous towards kids, not adoration-inspiring.”

Everyone began cleaning up for the day. “Looks like you finished just in time,” Laura replied, not commenting on his statement. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Rodney nodded and replied, “See you tomorrow,” before heading out and home.

On the way home, he went through his mental checklist of what still needed to be done for the wedding and was surprised to find that only a few things were left. Most of those were last minute things they couldn’t do until that day, such as food preparation. He then went through the list of people outside of his borough that he hoped would attend, regardless of whether or not they had already expressed their intention to, and even though he knew that most of the people in the village would be there, regardless. When he got to the end of the list, he felt like he was forgetting people and went through the list again, shaking his head in confusion because everyone was on the list that he could think of, but he still felt like he was forgetting…. His brain suddenly supplied names and faces for people he had long stopped thinking about.

He stopped suddenly and Jillian, who had come up behind him, asked, “Are you all right, Rodney-kun?”

“Yeah, fine,” he replied shortly. “Just a random memory I wasn’t expecting,” he added, giving her a soft smile as he started walking again.

“Was it a good one?” she asked as she kept pace with him.

“Neutral,” he replied. “But a fond one.”

He fell quiet as they continued home, reminded that he had never planned on getting married before coming here, though he and the rest of the team had made provisions – drunken provisions – in case if they ever had to for the sake of duty. For instance, that John would be his best man and that Ronon and Teyla would be his groomspeople – and vice versa for John. And that if they couldn’t do that, then they would all be supportive of whatever the local customs were. But here he was and they were back in Atlantis – and there went their bargain down the toilet. He sighed. If only there was a way for them to be here to see this, to see that he was happy….

“What’s going on?” Kelly asked, breaking off Rodney’s train of thought, when he saw Jillian and Rodney enter their borough. “Is everything okay?”

“As far as I know,” Jillian replied with a shrug as they both looked at Rodney’s morose look. “He hasn’t said anything.”

“Are you okay, Rodney-chan?” Kelly asked him worriedly. “I won’t have to tie you down for the next two weeks, am I?”

“I’m just peachy,” Rodney replied with a wan smile. “Don’t worry – I just remembered a promise I had made to someone that now I can’t keep. I’ll be fine.”

“Rodney-kun! Rodney-kun!” a breathless voice woke him. “Wake up, Rodney-kun!”

“Not gonna wake up,” he replied sleepily. “’Snot morning yet.”

“Rodney! Wake up! It’s Jaelyn! She needs your help!”

That woke Rodney up and he sat up quickly, wiping the rest of the sleep from his eyes. “What’s going on?” he asked Jillian.

“She’s really sick, Rodney-kun. Jennifer’s waiting for you outside.”

“Why’s Jennifer –?” Then he remembered that Jennifer was staying with Jaelyn to help her get ready for the wedding. “Getting up, getting up,” he said to defer any more questions or comments as he got out of bed. “Tell her I’ll be there in a second, I just need to get dressed.”

Rodney hurriedly pulled on his clothes and grabbed his bag before heading out to meet Jennifer. “Okay, let’s go,” he said to her by way of greeting, and she nodded grimly as she fell in step with him across the empty commons.

“What’s going on?” Rodney asked when they entered Jaelyn’s family’s quarters and immediately went over to Jaelyn’s cot, ignoring the rest of her family.

“I don’t know,” Jessica told him from where she was kneeling next to Jaelyn’s cot – the woman in question curled up on her side and looking pale and miserable. “She was complaining of feeling a little dizzy last night and she’s thrown up a few times. She hasn’t had an appetite.”

“How are you feeling now?” Rodney asked Jaelyn gently.

“A little better, but about the same,” Jaelyn replied.

Rodney put a hand to her forehead, but instead of the expected fever, her skin was cold and slightly sweaty. “Has she had a fever?” he asked Jessica.

“No,” she replied, shaking her head.

“What other symptoms does she have?” Rodney asked, worry evident in his voice.

Jessica hesitated before saying, “Well, there is…this.” She pulled the blanket down and Jaelyn’s shirt up and Rodney saw the huge, dark bruise covering Jaelyn’s belly.

“Okay. Wow,” Rodney replied. “Yeah, that’s not something I know to deal with, but I know it’s bad. Jennifer, can you –?”

“I’ll get him,” she replied and she was gone before he could finish his sentence, let alone respond.

“Everything’s going to be all right,” Rodney said, turning back to Jaelyn and gently brushing back her damp hair. “Jennifer’s going to get Kirby and we’re going to fix this so we can get married tomorrow, okay?”

Jaelyn nodded mutely, looking worried and scared. “And the baby?”

“The baby should be fine,” he told her, still brushing her hair off of her forehead and not knowing what else to do.

Kirby and Jennifer entered moments later and Rodney quickly moved aside as Kirby began looking Jaelyn over and asking questions. When he was done, he pulled Rodney aside. He gave Jaelyn’s family a furtive glance before whispering to Rodney, “I’m sorry. I don’t think there’s anything we can do for her. Bleeding that extensive….” He paused for a moment. “There isn’t a way that I know of where we can save both her and the baby. We might still be able to save the baby while she’s still alive, but I don’t know how much time Jaelyn has left.”

Rodney swallowed roughly and looked past Kirby to where Jaelyn was curled up on her cot. “She had finally started getting excited about the baby and the wedding,” he said, his gaze shifting back to Kirby.

“I know, you told me, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied with a small smile. “But we need to do something, and quickly, or we’re going to lose them both. Do you want to tell them, or should I?”

Rodney nodded. “I’ll do it.” He motioned Keith closer as he and Kirby rejoined Jessica and Jaelyn. “I have some bad news,” he told them. “The bleeding’s too bad and extensive for us to do anything about. We should be able to save the baby, but you wouldn’t survive, Jaelyn.”

“Do it,” she replied steadily. “Save the baby.”

“Jaelyn –” her mother gasped. “There must be something else you could do,” she said to Kirby and Rodney.

“I’m sorry, but there isn’t,” Kirby replied.

“Let’s respect Jaelyn’s wishes,” Keith responded, standing and going to Jennifer. Rodney watched as he told her and her eyes widened and she gaped at them.

“Where should we do this?” Rodney asked Kirby.

“I’m hesitant to move her, but doing it down by the pools would be easier to keep things clean.”

Rodney nodded and in a matter of moments, they had moved Jaelyn, cot and all, down by the pools. The rest of her family trailed behind them. The family quietly and somberly said their goodbyes as Rodney and Kirby got everything ready to deliver the baby.

When it was Rodney’s turn to say goodbye, he knelt by her cot. “I’m sorry,” he told her miserably.

“It’s okay,” she replied soothingly. “I guess I’m not meant to be a mother. I was really starting to look forward to it. Take care of our baby, okay?”

“I will.”

She smiled at him. “I know you will. You’ll be a great father.” She gasped and put her hands to her belly. “I think you better get moving.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied. “I love you, Jaelyn-chan.”

“I love you too, Rodney-chan.”

Kirby kneeled next to Rodney, just out of Jaelyn’s line of sight, as Rodney pushed up her shirt to expose her stomach. Rodney closed himself off as much as possible as he gave Jaelyn the leaves to chew that would put her under. While they waited for the effects to take hold, he watched as Jaelyn’s breathing slowed and her eyes closed. Kirby cleaned Jaelyn’s stomach and the knife Rodney would use.

“Okay, we’re ready,” Rodney replied blankly.

He took the knife from Kirby and made careful incisions where Kirby indicated. As the blood ran out, they mopped it up as quickly as possible, Jessica and Keith coming over to help. When they got Jaelyn’s stomach open, they saw the source of the problem – the *babies* weren’t in Jaelyn’s womb as expected. They had developed in her abdominal cavity. For a moment Rodney froze when he realized that she had been carrying twins. Then reality caught up to him and he carefully opened the sac encasing them. But the babies were already dead, blood loss having already starved them of vital oxygen.

Jessica’s anguished sob brought him back to the present and Rodney saw that Jaelyn had stopped breathing.

“She’s gone, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied softly, a hand on his shoulder keeping him in place.

“She was carrying twins, Kirby,” Rodney said to Kirby as he fell back. “She was carrying twins.”

“A portable ‘Gate dialer,” Elizabeth repeated, disbelief evident in her voice.

“Yes, ma’am,” Lorne replied over the video link through the ‘Gate. “A portable ‘Gate dialer. They’re willing to give us access to one for study and show us how it works in return for food and a possible future trade agreement of dialers for food in an ongoing capacity.”

“That seems almost too easy,” John commented.

Lorne shrugged. “Apparently they’ve had a bad harvest and really need the food to get through until they can plant again.”

“Okay, I *know* there’s a catch in here somewhere,” John replied.

Lorne sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. “Only one of them speaks English.”

Both John and Elizabeth’s eyebrows rose. “You’re kidding, right?” John asked.

At the same time, Elizabeth said, “I had always suspected that there had to be a people whose verbal language was also different from ours, but I was beginning to doubt they actually existed.”

“Oh, they exist,” Lorne replied. “The real catch is that she needs to come with the device.”

“What do you think, John?” Elizabeth asked, turning to him.

“I think it’s something we should at least look into. It might be handy to have something that can get a team home if the DHD isn’t working or isn’t accessible.”

Elizabeth nodded slowly as she turned back to Lorne. “Do you think she can be trusted, Major Lorne?”

“I do, Dr. Weir,” Lorne replied. “There hasn’t been anything here that would lead me to believe that they’ve been deliberately misleading us.”

“Okay, you have the go ahead to bring her and one of these dialers back.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Lorne replied. “We’ll return at our scheduled time. Lorne out.”

As the wormhole disconnected, Elizabeth told John, “Don’t even think about it,” as she headed into her office.

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” John replied as he followed her.

“You know very well what I’m talking about,” Elizabeth replied as she sat behind her desk. “If this does prove to be an advantageous trade and we get some of these portable ‘Gate dialers, you are *not* going back to that planet to look for Rodney.”

“That was the furthest thing from my mind,” John replied innocently as he slouched in one of the chairs front of her desk.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes slightly as she assessed him. “I’m sure it was, John. Do I need to remind you that it’s been over three years?”

“You didn’t, but thank you,” John replied lightly, knowing that his response hit the intended mark when he saw her nostrils flare. “I’m well aware of where things stand on McKay and I don’t intend to do anything that would endanger the expedition,” he told her.

“John –” Elizabeth started with a sigh.

“No, *Elizabeth*,” John interrupted her, sitting forward in his chair and putting his forearms on his knees. “I think you need to cut me some slack here. I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me without complaint and I think that in return you should let me believe what I want about Rodney. Even Heightmeyer agrees that there’s nothing she can technically diagnose me with and that I’m still functioning very well – especially for someone who’s been here since the beginning.”

“But she does agree that this fixation isn’t healthy in the long run,” Elizabeth replied, leaning back and making a steeple with her fingers.

John stood. “Until such a time as it’s blatantly obvious that I’m no longer functioning in a healthy manner, I would appreciate it if you would back off. And the fact that I have one of the two strongest known ATA genes still has to count for something.”

Her startled look gave him some satisfaction as John stalked out of her office. He continued to fume as he went back to his quarters, changed and grabbed his bantos sticks. He headed down to the practice room to spar with Teyla. Deep down, he knew that Elizabeth really was concerned about him, but he wished that she would give it a rest. If nothing had changed in the past three years, he doubted anything would change now. She had reined him in enough that now all he could do was hope that one day they would find Rodney. He occasionally tested the boundaries she had erected which he knew frustrated her, but he wanted someone else to have an inkling of how he felt.

“I see the possibility of this being a productive session has lowered considerably,” Teyla commented dryly as he entered.

“Sorry,” John honestly apologized. “I had a ‘discussion’ with Elizabeth right before this.”

“I see,” Teyla replied. Attempting to change the subject, she asked, “Have you heard from Major Lorne?”

“We have and his mission is going well. They’re going to be bringing back a piece of tech for study, as well as a representative to help with the device and possibly start trade negotiations.”

“Good,” she replied with a smile as she easily swung one of her sticks around her hand. “And what does this device do?”

“Somehow it plugs into the ‘Gate and you can dial the ‘Gate that way without needing the DHD.”

“That sounds very useful indeed,” Teyla replied. “I know of numerous places where such a device would be advantageous.”

“Have you ever heard of these people?” John asked her. “I think Lorne called them the Morykons.”

“I have not,” she replied. “But I will admit that there are a large number of worlds that neither I nor my people have ever been to. Let’s get started.”

As Teyla had predicted, John was in worse shape than normal and she thoroughly beat him, even though he should have been able to easily hold his own. But when they amicably parted, John did feel better and he radioed Carson to invite him to dinner.

“I was told that we would be expecting a visitor tomorrow,” Carson commented as they sat down with their food and sat down.

John nodded. “Lorne’s bringing her back. They’ve got some technology he thought was worth a closer look and they need food.”

“Sounds like something that would be good for all involved,” Carson replied before taking a drink.

Setting his own cup down, John added, “It’s a portable ‘Gate dialer. Apparently, it cuts out the need for a DHD.”

“John –” Carson started, his tone imploring.

“I know, I know. Elizabeth and I already went through this and she had me promise I wouldn’t do anything stupid.”

“Which I’m sure you found a way to skirt around. And are we talking about your version of stupidity or Elizabeth’s?” Carson asked knowingly.

“Elizabeth’s. I think it’s becoming evident that you know me too well.”

“After Rodney, figuring everyone else out is fairly easy,” Carson replied with a smirk.

“Do you think I’ve gone off the deep end?” John asked seriously.

Carson shrugged. “I don’t know if I’d go that far, aside from the snide remark that you must be crazy if you were willing to make a one-way trip here in the first place, but that would then implicate a fair number of us, wouldn’t it? Am I concerned for your well-being? Sure. But leaving Rodney behind was a traumatic incident, and I can understand how it could still affect you now. I’m just surprised you haven’t gone into full-blown PTSD yet.”

John flashed him a grin. “I’ve got good friends like you to keep me grounded.”

Carson chuckled. “That you do.”

“I’d better go,” John said, checking his watch before standing and picking up his tray. “I’ll see you later?”

Carson nodded. “You can count on it.”

John was waiting at the bottom of the steps with Elizabeth and Zelenka when Lorne and his team came through the next day, bringing with them a stately woman who reminded John of some of the Afghan women he’d seen while on tour – determined and definitely on a mission.

“Welcome to Atlantis,” Elizabeth said, stepping forward to meet her as the incoming group stopped before them and Lorne put down the newcomer’s bag. “I am Dr. Elizabeth Weir, the leader of my people.”

“Good day, Elizabeth Weir of Atlantis,” the woman replied in heavily accented English as she bowed. “I am Natalia of Morykos.”

“This is Lt. Col. John Sheppard, the head of our military contingent and Dr. Radek Zelenka, the head of our science division,” Elizabeth said as she gestured to each of them in turn.

Natalia gave them both a slight bow in turn. “On behalf of my people, I wish to thank you all for agreeing to go forward with negations. I hope we will all find them to be advantageous.”

“I also hope they are advantageous for both of us,” Elizabeth replied and John barely refrained from snorting at the overused response Elizabeth gave to all of their prospective trade partners. “Why don’t we get you settled in and then we can begin our talks?” Looking at Lorne, she said, “Debriefing will be in one hour.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Lorne replied as he and his team disappeared to take care of their equipment.

“I’ll show you to where you’ll be staying and give you some time to freshen up,” Elizabeth told Natalia.

“Thank you, Elizabeth Weir.” Natalia replied as she bent to retrieve her bag, but John swooped in and picked it up before she could reach it. She smiled at him. “You are most kind.” To Zelenka, she bowed slightly and said, “I am glad to make your acquaintance. I hope we can speak more later.”

“I certainly hope so,” Zelenka replied with a slight smile and an inclination of his head. “I will be by later to pick up the device,” he said to Elizabeth, who nodded.

John quietly followed Elizabeth and Natalia through the halls to the guest quarters. He carefully assessed her as they walked, taking in the way she moved and where she might be hiding weapons. As natural as it was for him to size up the unknown, he had the feeling that he should be especially careful with her. Something wasn’t quite right.

“This place is quite amazing,” Natalia said when they stopped outside the door to what would be her quarters for the duration. “I would love to be able to look at more of it at some point – with an escort, of course.”

“I’m sure that could be arranged,” Elizabeth replied warmly as she palmed the door’s sensor.

The trio entered and John set Natalia’s bag on the bed as Elizabeth gave her a quick tour and explained how things worked.

“This is most ingenious,” Natalia said, smiling brightly, when they rejoined John. “I have never seen a place like this before. My people are part of a small, outlying system that developed almost entirely independently of the majority who use the Ancestors’ Ring,” she explained.

“You speak the common language very well,” Elizabeth complimented.

“Thank you,” Natalia replied, her smile turning shy. “I do not have much chance to use it at home, but I have found it invaluable from time to time.”

“Well, we’ll let you get settled in and we’ll have someone come by when it’s time to start.”

“Thank you,” Natalia repeated and gave them both a slight bow.

“I have a bad feeling about her,” John told Elizabeth once they were back out in the hallway.

“Why?” Elizabeth asked, eyes narrowing.

John shrugged. “I don’t know. Something just feels… wrong.”

“Your concern has been duly noted,” Elizabeth replied diplomatically. “I’ll make sure Radek keeps an eye on her as they work together. If I find you hanging around the labs without just cause, I will send you back to Kate.”

“Fair enough. Can I sit in on the debriefing and negotiations?”

“You usually do regardless of what I say,” Elizabeth sighed.

“Hey, I stayed out of the negotiations with the N’garents,” John replied.

“That was only because they wanted to marry you off to the chief’s daughter.”

“Good thing they were big believers in my presence being required for the negotiations for it to take effect.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you can find something to entertain you until the debriefing starts,” she said as they reached her office. “Now, go.”

“Oh! Col. Sheppard, I need you for a second,” Darby called from a console on the other side of the control room.

John rolled his eyes at Chuck and gave him an amused smile as he went over to Darby. “How can I help you, Darby?” he asked.

“I don’t really need any help,” Darby admitted, looking up from his paperwork. “I just wasn’t sure if you needed rescuing from an awkward situation.”

“Yes, because I’ve been getting into a lot of those lately,” John remarked dryly as he sat down next to Darby.

“Only with Elizabeth,” Darby volleyed back as he went back to his work. “Either you two are the most fraternal couple I’ve ever seen, or you need to throw the whole fraternization policy out the window and deal with things.”

John gaped at him for a moment before recovering. “Thank you for that image, *Doctor*. I think I need to wash my mind out with soap now. And I’m beginning to think none of you scientists can be trusted, between that comment and Simpson beating me in chess last week.”

“Everyone has a bad game,” Darby replied.

“Yeah, but *four*? In a *row*?”

“Maybe she’s just a sneaky player,” Darby commented distractedly. “Likes to keep her reputation bad so she can whoop-ass when she feels like it.”

“You didn’t just say that,” John replied with a laugh as he stood.

“I say a lot of things you wouldn’t believe,” Darby told him as he looked up at him. “You’re just never around to hear any of it.”

“Which is probably good that I’m not. I like my view of you.”

“I’ll see you later, John.”

“Later, Darby,” John replied as he went off to work on some paperwork until it was time for the debriefing.

John arrived at the conference room at the same time as his second-in-command and his team. He nodded to them and let them pass and go into the room first. Once everyone had settled, Elizabeth asked Lorne to start.

“All things considered, it was a fairly standard recon and meet and greet,” he replied with a nonchalant shrug. “We got to MPX-934 and began searching around the ‘Gate. Natalia’s village is situated about three miles from the ‘Gate in a large forest clearing. There’s limited agriculture, but from what she’s said, they have irregular rain and irrigation doesn’t always do the job. They do take part in an extensive trading system with the other worlds in their region, which seems to be what supports them in times of need.”

“Which would explain their desire to cultivate other contacts as well,” Elizabeth commented as she made a note on her tablet. “They wouldn’t want to put too much stock in one other people.”

“They were all very nice, even after we realized that there was a language barrier. It seems that while they’re aware that there are other languages and peoples beyond their little network, they don’t really care about learning any of them aside from the lingua franca – and even that’s a bit iffy. I don’t think they’re really xenophobic; it’s more of a, ‘Hey, we’ve got what we need right here, why do we need to go any farther?’”

“Is this ‘Gate dialer their major export?” Elizabeth asked.

“It appears so, ma’am. It also looks like they do a lot of specialty work based on custom orders.”

“And they haven’t used any of this technology to help themselves out of their agricultural mess?” John asked, curious.

Lorne shrugged. “We didn’t exactly get that far, so I can’t really say, sir.”

“And what about an army? Any inclination towards universal domination?”

“I would think that the lack of stable harvests prevents a standing army,” Lorne replied with an amused smile. “They do have some weapons, but it’s all based on defense. So, no, they don’t seem bent on world domination.”

“Would you suggest we go ahead with negotiations?” Elizabeth asked.

“I would,” Lorne replied with a nod.

John watched Lorne begin to fidget and grow increasingly restless as Elizabeth elicited thoughts and suggestions from the rest of the team. “Was there something else you wanted to add, Major?” he asked when Elizabeth had finished her questioning.

“There is one other thing,” Lorne said as his gaze flicked to his teammates and John saw them all nod imperceptibly in agreement. “After our last check in, I got to thinking that there was something familiar about the ‘Gate dialer, so I started asking Natalia questions about it. She can explain it a lot better than I can, but it’s not technically Ancient in design, though it is heavily influenced. I don’t know what possessed me, but I decided to show her Dr. McKay’s picture and she recognized him.”

“What?!?” John responded, getting to his feet without a conscious thought. “Why didn’t you bring this up before?” he asked, his eyes narrowing.

“Because you would need a ‘Gate dialer if you were going to go get him and in order to get a ‘Gate dialer, we need to make nice with the aliens,” Lorne replied calmly.

“Sit down, John,” Elizabeth hissed and John reluctantly complied.

“Are you certain she knew who she was talking about?” John asked Lorne.

“Completely certain, sir,” Lorne replied. “Apparently, R names are non-existent among the people he lives with, so someone with such a name would stand out.”

“So, what did she say about him?” John asked Lorne.

“She said he’s in good health and living with the healer and his daughter of one of her people’s closest allies – who are much more primitive than the Morykos. As far as she can tell, he seems to be happy and completely integrated into his life there. He was even planning a wedding and he and his fiancée are expecting a child, the last she had heard.”

John groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. “We have to get him out of there, Elizabeth,” he said. “That doesn’t sound like Rodney at all. They’ve probably brainwashed him.”

“I think that we should consult with Natalia and see what her prognosis of the situation is,” Elizabeth replied carefully. “Brainwashed or not, Rodney’s been gone a long time and we need to respect that he might have become accustomed to his situation and not want to leave. And if he really has married and had a child, we’ll have to be very careful of how we handle the situation since we can’t just simply bring him home.”

John opened his mouth to protest, but quickly shut it. He nodded brusquely. “Okay, fine.”

Elizabeth quickly finished the debriefing and dismissed the team, sending Lorne to retrieve Natalia. “I’d ask what’s gotten into you, but I think I already know,” she told John abruptly.

“Look,” he said with a sigh, “I’m not going to do anything stupid like charging through the ‘Gate to find him. If you hadn’t noticed, it’s not like we have a lock on exactly where he is. I know I’ve done some… irrational things in the past when it comes to rescue missions, but you know I wouldn’t risk others’ lives unnecessarily.

“But I would like to talk to Natalia to see what kind of information we can get out of her about him and the situation he’s in. I want to see if we can make contact with him and hopefully bring him home. Knowing Rodney, it’s probably killing him that he’s stuck somewhere with a pre-Industrial Revolution, if not earlier, society and he’ll jump at the chance to come home.” Not backing down from the weight of her stare, he added, “And just because he’s getting married and expecting a child doesn’t mean we can’t work something out. Besides, there’s always the chance that they won’t go through with it. We are talking about Rodney here.”

Elizabeth sighed in exasperation and pinched the bridge of her nose. “We’ll see,” was all she said as Lorne, his team, Zelenka, and Natalia entered the room. “I trust you’ve settled in okay?” she asked Natalia with a warm smile.

“Yes, thank you,” Natalia replied with an answering smile. “You have a very interesting city here. Its design and technology are quite ingenious. I have never seen technology that requires a mental component to work before.”

“It definitely has its advantages,” Elizabeth replied. “Is there a certain way you like to approach negotiations?”

“No,” Natalia replied with a shake of her head. “Though, I do find being straight-forward to be the best approach.”

“It sounds like we have something in common then,” Elizabeth replied with a warm smile. “I think we should start with stating whatever tentative agreement you came to with Major Lorne and his team, so we can know where we stand and proceed from there.”

“We came to a very tentative agreement in which he promised your people’s help in procuring more food for this cycle, along with the possibility of help for better farming techniques in exchange for a chance to study our portable ‘Gate dialer and possibly be allowed to make a few of your own.”

“Okay,” Elizabeth replied, jotting down a few notes. “That sounds like a reasonable starting deal.”

‘And a fairly standard one,’ John thought, inwardly rolling his eyes. Their teams had usually used some variation of that as a means to acquire various goods and pieces of technology over the years. He stayed quiet as they went back and forth with the negotiations, bartering a little of this for a little of that until both sides were happy with the agreement its standard clause to review the agreement at a set point in the near future.

“Now,” Elizabeth said delicately as she carefully laid her stylus on the table at the top of her. “It has been brought to my attention that you are aware of one of our people who has come to live with a people in your trade network.”

Natalia looked a bit surprised, but nodded as she asked, “You are speaking of Rodney, correct? Yes, Major Lorne mentioned him yesterday. I take it he is a beloved member of this community?”

As Zelenka’s eyes widened and he gasped in shock, John muttered under his breath, “You could say that.”

Elizabeth glared at him before replying, “He was unexpectedly taken from us and we are concerned for him.”

Natalia’s eyes narrowed slightly and John swore she bristled a bit. “I can assure you that the Laprans would not allow any harm to come to him.”

“I wasn’t trying to imply anything of the sort,” Elizabeth replied apologetically. “We simply wish to know how he’s doing and to see if there’s a chance for us to bring him home.”

“That would have to be between you, Rodney, and the Laprans,” Natalia replied cautiously. “He seemed very happy the last time I saw him, which was about three months ago. As I told Major Lorne and his… team, he’s engaged and they’re expecting a child. He probably won’t want to leave the life he’s built to come back here.”

“Which we completely understand,” Elizabeth replied. “Is there a way we could get in touch with the Laprans and see about speaking with Rodney?”

“I can look into it,” Natalia replied warily. “But I will not guarantee anything that I cannot myself give.”

“We gladly accept that and thank you in advance for your willingness to help us.”

As if sensing an awkward moment was about to start, Zelenka spoke up, “If we are done here, I would like to get started on studying the ‘Gate dialer.” Giving Natalia a hopeful look, he added, “And we can start planning how to better your crop output.”

“That would be wonderful,” Natalia replied, the tension draining out of her, as they all stood and Lorne dismissed his men.

“Be good and no harassing the Morykon ambassador,” Elizabeth commented lightly as she passed John on her way out.

“Hu- what?” John replied, confused. “Why would I do that?” he asked as he followed her.

“I mean it, John,” she threw over her shoulder as she went into her office.

John shook his head in disbelief as he checked his watch and headed back to his quarters for a run. He needed to process what had happened. Invariably, his unplanned course took him to the infirmary, where he greeted Carson sweaty and panting.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Carson commented when he looked up from his paperwork.

“Almost,” John replied, stepping into Carson’s office. “He’s alive, Carson.”

“We’ve been through this, John,” Carson replied with a sigh, sitting back in his chair.

“No, I mean it,” John replied fervently. “There’s a woman down in the labs right now, who said she saw Rodney three months ago.”

Carson narrowed his eyes. “John –”

“I know, I know. This sounds insanely crazy – even from me. But Elizabeth, Zelenka, and Lorne and his team all heard her too. We can finally bring him home.”

“That’s great news,” Carson replied speculatively. “You’ll just have to pardon my skepticism until I have something more concrete to go on.” At John’s plaintive look, Carson said, “Oh, don’t give me that look, John Sheppard. I want him back as much as you do, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to go storming the castle at the first glimmer of hope. Besides, it’s been three years. He may not want to come back.”

“Everyone keeps saying that,” John remarked hotly. “Why wouldn’t he want to come back?”

“Three years is quite a long time. He could be a different man now.”

John let out a bark of laughter. “Carson, Rodney’s personality is what’s kept him alive here in Atlantis. I doubt it’ll have changed much wherever he’s been the past three years.”

“And the Wraith aren’t life-sucking aliens,” Carson volleyed back. “Before that fateful day in the helicopter with General O’Neill, did you expect to be here and doing the things you’re doing?”

“Well, no,” John replied, a slightly confused note in his voice.

“I doubt you’re the same person you were then, John, not just in your knowledge of what’s out there, but also in the way you do things. I think it holds true for all of us who’ve come and stayed. I’m only saying this because I don’t want to see you get hurt if we do make contact with him and he doesn’t want to come back.”

Ronon appeared in the doorway and caught both John and Carson’s attention. “Are you coming to the Marines’ training?” he asked John brusquely.

“Yeah, why?” John asked.

Ronon shrugged. “We’ve been trying to get a hold of you on the radio for a while, but it didn’t work.”

“Duty calls,” John said to Carson. “Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

“I’ll see you at 1800,” Carson confirmed with a nod.

“What’s up?” Ronon asked when they got out into the hallway.

“What makes you think something’s up?” John asked nonchalantly.

Ronon rolled his eyes. “I’ve known you for five years.”

“We found Rodney. Well, Lorne’s team met someone who claims to have met Rodney.”

“When are we going to get him?” Ronon asked, showing no other emotion.

“I don’t know,” John replied. “Elizabeth seems hesitant to take this too fast. But don’t worry, you’ll know when we go get him.”

“Today’s the day for your next full psych evaluation,” Kate told John after he had settled in her office the next morning.

“We just had one,” John complained.

“We ‘just’ had one three months ago,” Kate corrected him. “And it’s part of our agreement that we do it to keep proving to Elizabeth that you’re still in control.”

John sighed. “Okay, let’s get on with it, then. I have some place I’d rather be.”

“Such as the lab?” Kate asked with a raised eyebrow. “Elizabeth did tell me about the woman claiming to have seen Rodney.”

John let out a huff. “I’m already getting tired of everyone being so skeptical that she has seen Rodney and that he’s doing okay.”

“Not everyone is quite as willing as you are to believe that he’s alive and well somewhere. Add in the fact that Rodney’s not even with her people, and I’m sure you can understand why they’re showing a valid reason for concern.”

“Can we get started please?” John asked almost plaintively, wanting to get the psych evaluation over with so he could get on with his day.

As soon as they had finished, John left as quickly as he could without actually fleeing. At the end of the hallway, he stopped in his tracks, the back of his neck prickling. “You can come out Talbot and Martinez,” he said, slowly turning around.

The two Marines sheepishly stepped out of the shadows. “How did you know it was us, sir?” Talbot asked.

“Your allergies are still acting up a bit and I can hear you wheeze. And Martinez is still limping from when Ronon was a little too tough on him the other day. Elizabeth put you up to this, didn’t she?”

“She said that you might do something irrational before we get satisfactory information out of our new ally,” Martinez replied.

“Oh, really?” John asked, raising his eyebrows and exaggerating the disbelief in his voice. He found a small amount of satisfaction in watching the two Marines squirm a bit. “And what’s your take on this? Do you think I will?”

Talbot shrugged, though neither of them looked very comfortable discussing the subject with their CO. “No, sir. We know what it’s like to be on a ‘Gate team and we probably wouldn’t be fairing much better if we were in the same position as you.”

John nodded. “Okay. Look, I’d like to get the two of you off the hook, since I know it has to be weird tailing your CO to make sure he doesn’t do anything crazy. But I doubt Elizabeth would go for that and I don’t want to get either of you in trouble. So, come on and don’t look too intimidating.”

“What if anyone asks what we’re doing with you?” Martinez asks.

John shrugged as they started walking. “We’ll think of something when we get there.”

They headed down to the labs, getting a few quizzical looks from the science staff the closer they got to the main lab, but no one actually said anything. John waved Talbot and Martinez, who were looking completely out of their league into some chairs at an empty lab station before going over to where Zelenka, Simpson, and Natalia were bent over a device that John could only assume was the infamous ‘Gate dialer.

“Good morning, John,” Natalia said with a slight inclination of her head.

“Morning,” he replied with a smile. “I wanted to check and see how you slept last night.”

“I slept very well last night, thank you,” she replied with a warm smile. “I was told you know this city the best. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind discussing it at some point?”

“I think that could be arranged,” John replied, glancing at Zelenka and Simpson – both of whom shrugged. “How’re things going?” he asked them.

“This device is quite ingenious,” Zelenka replied, grinning excitedly. “It easily fits in the palm of your hand and has a small naquadah battery to operate it. Such a device could last practically forever if kept in good condition.”

“Natalia was just explaining to us how it plugs into the ‘Gate itself and from there you can dial any address using the keypad here,” Simpson added, indicating the mentioned keypad.

“But wouldn’t activating the ‘Gate drain the battery?” John asked.

“That’s the ingenious part,” Zelenka replied, his excitement growing. “Once the wormhole has stabilized, it taps into its normal power source and recharges the battery.”

“That is pretty cool,” John replied, grinning himself. “How did you think of it?” he asked Natalia.

“Through a lot of work and much trial and error,” she replied demurely. “As I’m sure you know, not being able to get through one of the Ancestors’ Rings is a very valid and troubling concern. We wanted to make sure that there was a way for our people to get home if they happened to go to a world that didn’t have a working dialing device.”

John hung out while they worked. While a lot of the mechanics of it went completely over his head, he enjoyed watching Zelenka get excited over the device as he figured it out, more often than not exclaiming in Czech. Once he glanced over at his ‘guards’ and they were playing paper football and talking quietly.

When Zelenka’s stomach growled loudly, he said, “I think it might be a good idea if we took a break to get some food.”

“I think that sounds like a great idea,” John agreed, standing up and stretching his back.

“I am intrigued to try more of your people’s food,” Natalia said as they all stood. “I have never had anything quite like it.”

“Neither have we, in some cases,” Talbot said under his breath as they joined the group and the rest of the Lanteans chuckled.

Neither Zelenka nor Simpson questioned the Marines’ presence on their way down to the mess hall and John was grateful for that, even though he was fairly certain they had worked it out for themselves. The six of them bypassed the transporter and took the long way down so Natalia see more of the city. Along the way, she asked question after question about the city, all of it very basic things that the senior staff had compiled a few years before as part of the “Questions You Can Answer Without Getting Worried”.

“I’m sorry if I’m boring you,” Natalia said, as she blushed and looked apologetic, when they reached the mess hall. “It’s just that I’ve never been anywhere nearly this grand before.”

“Don’t worry about it,” John replied lazily. His tone turning a little conspiratorial, he added, “It took us a while to get used to too.” As soon as he said it, he felt a pang in his chest, remembering that this would be the moment that Rodney would smack him on the arm and tell him to stop flirting and he would protest that he wasn’t flirting and then Rodney would make a noise of disgust in the back of his throat and let the topic drop.

“So, how did you know Rodney?” Natalia asked once they had settled at one of the tables.

“He was our head scientist,” Zelenka replied.

“And he was on my exploration team,” John added.

“I’m sure he was a great asset to you. He seems to have proven himself invaluable to the Laprans.”

“That sounds like Rodney,” John commented.

“If he hasn’t alienated everyone at one point or another,” Zelenka muttered with a knowing and affectionate smile and John and Simpson both chuckled quietly.

“So, you said you saw him recently?” John prompted Natalia.

“Yes, I was there on some business and our paths crossed. He is doing well and seems to be quite happy, if that’s what you’re worried about.” She paused and looked like she was uncertain if she should divulge any more information.

“What’s wrong?” John asked, concerned.

“Nothing,” Natalia replied with a smile. “I’m simply trying to decide what sort of news would be important to you, since I didn’t know Rodney before he came to the Laprans.”

“What’s his fiancée like?” Simpson asked. “What?” she asked at John and Zelenka’s speculative looks. “It’s a valid question. I want to know what kind of woman would even consider putting up with Rodney for the rest of her life.”

“He’s not *that* bad,” John defended. “Go ahead,” he said to Natalia.

“She’s a very sweet girl,” she replied. “She’s a glassmaker. There was a bit of a fuss because he got her pregnant before they were married. It’s not exactly something that’s smiled on in our communities,” she added, as if that clarified everything.

“And what does Rodney do?” Zelenka asked before taking a drink.

“He’s a weaver and he’s the heir of the healer.”

Everyone’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Seriously?” John asked.

“The weaving I can see,” Zelenka replied, recovering first. “He always needed to do something with his hands and I’m sure that could be challenging enough to keep him happy. But learning the healing art isn’t exactly something our Rodney would do.”

John felt a pang that maybe getting Rodney back wouldn’t go as smoothly as he had hoped. He parted from the scientists and Natalia once they had disposed of their trays, the Marines still with him.

“Okay,” he told them when they got outside the mess hall. “We’re going to go see Dr. Weir about taking a trip through the wormhole.”

[In this part, English is in italics.]

“What more do you need?” John practically yelled. “A notarized affidavit? Natalia and the rest of her people have bent over backwards to do everything in their power to convince us that they’re telling us the truth about Rodney and that they’re not leading us into a trap.”

“They’re obviously not getting anything out of it, especially for the time and effort they’re putting into it,” Zelenka added.

“I know,” Elizabeth replied with a sigh. “I just…. I’m sorry. I want to believe them after all the work we’ve done with them for the past month both on the ‘Gate dialer and to help them get set up for the next planting.”

“And they’ve proven themselves to be very honest and forthright,” Zelenka supplied.

“If I didn’t know any better, Radek, I’d suspect you want Rodney back as much as John does,” Elizabeth replied, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

“Only so I can give him his job back, Elizabeth,” Zelenka replied. “I have firmly come to believe that only someone with Rodney’s forceful personality can truly run that department without it eating them alive.”

“I thought you liked being the head of the science department,” John said to him, eyes narrowing in confusion.

“I like not having ulcers more,” Zelenka replied. He paused for a moment, as if reconsidering his answer. “I do enjoy certain aspects of it, I will admit – like being able to see what everyone’s doing – but sometimes it’s like herding cats. And I much rather prefer it be Rodney having to be the one to pull a last minute save out of his ass when the Wraith decide to attack us.”

“But if it wasn’t for you, we might still be dealing with them on a fairly regular basis,” Elizabeth replied.

“Yeah,” John concurred. “Pitting them against Michael was a really good idea.”

Zelenka shrugged, blushing slightly. “It was bound to happen sooner or later. I just decided to give it a nudge to accelerate the process.”

Turning back to Elizabeth, John said, “Look, I promise to respect Rodney’s decision to stay if that’s what he wants and if that’s what you’re concerned about. But I think it’s ridiculous that you want to cross-check Natalia again before we make any plans. You’ve had enough discussions with her to know what she’s like. Zelenka and I – as well as Ronon, Teyla, at least a third of the science department, and a handful of Marines – have been to Morykos to help them set up their new irrigation system. If something was up, we would have found out about it then, regardless of whether or not they speak English.”

“I agree,” Zelenka spoke up. “There were too many new people for me to believe that they were all that good at keeping a cover.”

“Do I need to remind you both of the Genii?” Elizabeth asked.

“How about this?” John asked. “Natalia has told us that she would gladly take us to Lapras whenever we wanted and that this month would be good since there’s some sort of festival or market or something going on. We tell her when we want to go, make sure she doesn’t have contact with her people, and take one of the ‘Gate dialers we built. That should give us a 100% chance of not being ambushed, and if we somehow are, we’ll still be able to get off the planet.”

“I’ll think about it,” Elizabeth replied.

John was about to argue some more when Zelenka stood. “Come, John,” he said. “Let’s let Elizabeth have some time to consider it. Thank you, Elizabeth, for putting up with us,” he told her before he practically dragged John out of the office. “I would think that you would understand the genius behind a tactical retreat,” Zelenka told him once they were out of Elizabeth’s range of hearing.

“Yeah, good idea,” John replied. “Thanks.”

“Do we have a go yet?” Ronon asked after the team finished their sparring practice.

“Not yet,” John replied with a sigh. “Elizabeth still needs to think about it.”

“This level of caution is uncharacteristic, even for her,” Teyla replied with a note of confusion in her voice and her eyebrows knit together.

“Do you have a plan yet?” Darby asked.

“Yep,” John replied. “I presented it to her reasonably and logically, and with some help from Zelenka, and she still said she wants to think about it some more.”

“I say we just go,” Ronon replied.

“I’d love to, but I’m on thin ice as it is,” John told him with a sigh.

“I will speak with her,” Teyla told John.

“Thanks, Teyla,” he replied, giving her a weak smile. “She does seem to value your experience.”

“I would certainly hope so.”

“Let’s go eat,” Ronon said while he moved to the door, as if that solved everything.

“Keep this up, and your heart should be coming out of your chest any moment now,” Carson remarked dryly without looking up from his papers. “What’s got you so worked up this time, John?”

“I’m just pissed with Elizabeth,” John said as he entered Carson’s office and sat down in the empty chair. “She keeps dragging her feet in letting us go see Rodney. I understand the whole ‘wanting to be careful’ thing, but this is getting ridiculous.”

“You do realize that things may not be as you expect when you get there, right?” Carson asked, concern evident on his face and in his tone.

“Yes, I do realize it,” John replied. “Heightmeyer and I have been over it a few times. I can handle it.”

“I just –” Carson paused to choose his words. “I just worry about you, John. I know we’ve been through this before, but I don’t want you to be disappointed if you get there and things don’t work out as you expect. I do have another question for you that I don’t think you’ve considered. What are you going to do when you get back, assuming Rodney does come back with you?”

John opened his mouth to respond and then snapped it shut before replying, “That’s a trick question, right? Things will go back to normal.”

Carson shook his head in exasperation. “John, lad, the man’s been gone for just over three years. You can’t expect him to just waltz back in here and pick up as if he’d gone for a long lunch.”

“Well, then what do you suggest we do?” John asked, raising an eyebrow. His tone and body language demonstrated his disbelief in the scenario.

Carson shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d have to see him in order to figure that out. Everyone’s case is different. Such as – while you’re still able to function, for another person, your same situation would have probably already converted over to full-blown depression. I just want you to consider this possibility as well.”

“Okay,” John replied, feeling like he’d been punched. “I’ll, uh, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“After having discussed the matter further with Natalia, I have decided to allow your team to accompany her to the festival,” Elizabeth told John and the rest of his team. “It would allow you to make contact with Rodney in a relaxed atmosphere and assess his situation. At the same time, Natalia has graciously agreed to act as a translator and liaison for you to the other peoples that will be at the festival. Hopefully, this will be a good chance to make a few more alliances.”

“That is great news,” Teyla replied with a pleased smile as John and Ronon grinned and even Darby seemed happy.

“You’ll leave first thing in the morning,” Elizabeth continued and they stood. “And Natalia said to make sure you have provisions because you’ll be stopping for a meal.”

“Elizabeth?” Darby asked. “I would like to request a dismissal from this mission. I think it’s going to be awkward enough for everyone without my presence.”

Elizabeth thought about it for a moment. “Okay. Fair enough. You can stay home.” As they left, she said, “Oh, John.” When he stayed behind, she continued, “Please be good and don’t let your exuberance to bring Rodney home get the best of you.”

“Don’t worry,” he replied tightly. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

That night, John couldn’t sleep. He kept going through every possible scenario – from it being an attack to Rodney yelling at them for taking so long and demanding they return to Atlantis immediately. When he finally got up, John’s stomach was in knots and he was certain he was going to go crazy from not knowing what was going to happen.

Both Teyla and Ronon looked like a mix of determination and hopefulness, and like they were much better rested than he was, when he arrived in the ‘Gate Room.

“Are you all right?” Teyla asked as she fixed one of the straps on his pack, looking concerned.

“Fine,” he replied shortly as Natalia entered. “Let’s get the show on the road. We’re ready, Chuck,” he called up to the Control room. The ‘Gate started up and John shifted from one foot to the other. When the wormhole stabilized, he motioned for Natalia to go ahead and then followed with Teyla and Ronon, the whole time willing himself to keep pace with them and not go running full speed ahead through the ‘Gate.

******

Rodney found it was easier to cope with Jaelyn’s death in silence and was grateful that everyone respected that, and even seemed to expect it. The ectopic pregnancy had taken him by surprise and had rattled him more than he had expected – and for the first time in his life making him feel like the gods were punishing them for what they had done. The knowledge that there was nothing he could have done for Jaelyn and the babies didn’t assuage his grief and guilt over what had happened.

And Rodney felt numb and cold, as if the warmth had been permanently sucked out of the air and his body. Whenever he thought of Jaelyn and the babies, or someone mentioned them, he didn’t feel like crying, like he had figured he would, but instead he just felt empty. On the third, and last, night of the wake, Rodney decided to swear off love completely. It was too much of a hassle and only lead to heartache and hurt. He had hoped that after John he wouldn’t have to worry about being hurt here, since things were done so differently, but he was wrong. Heartache still had a way of finding him and he was no longer going to give it a chance to hurt him again.

He did find some solace in the slow, methodical steps that were taken to prepare Jaelyn and the babies’ bodies for burial. Kirby had tried to explain to him that he didn’t have to do it alone, but Rodney swore off any help, wanting to do one last thing for Jaelyn and the babies, mostly out of love, and partially as an act of penance for his part in the whole mess.

He quietly murmured prayers for the dead as he washed the babies’ bodies and carefully went through the embalming process before wrapping them both in their burial shrouds. As he laid each of the little bodies aside, a wave of grief washed over him, and he leaned down and gently kissed the cloth-wrapped foreheads.

The preparation of Jaelyn’s body took more time because he had to sew up her abdomen and Rodney was surprised at how steady his hand was while he placed neat stitches along the incision. He felt a small measure of peace settle over him as he murmured the necessary prayers over her and prepared her body for burial. Once she was wrapped in her burial shroud, Rodney pressed his lips to her forehead for a long moment and shut his eyes tightly against the suddenly threatening tears. Then he pressed his forehead against hers and breathed deeply for a few moments to get himself under control before moving to clean everything up.

“Are you ready?” Kirby asked, coming down into the pool cave.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Rodney replied, flexing his hands nervously at his sides as he looked at the shroud-wrapped bodies of his would-be family. “Thank you, Kirby, for letting me do this.”

“You’re welcome,” Kirby replied. “I can see that this was the proper way for you to say your goodbye. It’s time,” he called over his shoulder.

Jillian, Jessica, and Jennifer came into the cave. Jillian and Jessica each picked up one of the babies and Jennifer helped Rodney carry Jaelyn as they headed first to the surface and then out into the sunshine. Along the way, they were slowly and quietly joined by others in their village in a mournful procession until everyone had gathered around the burial site, situated about an hour’s walk from the village.

As the bodies were laid in the grave Rodney and Kelly had dug the previous day and Rodney began the funeral ceremony, he felt as if the process was lancing and suturing his numbness and grief, letting them out and letting warmth and peace in. By the time he had finished, Rodney felt more like his old self.

On the way back in to the village, Rodney noticed how unnaturally quiet the encampment was, as if they had been informed of the death and were paying their respects as well and he felt grateful that they would do that.

“Feel like going into the encampment?” Kelly asked when they reached the entrance to their village. “I wanted to visit Kevin-chan.”

“I don’t know,” Rodney replied, looking at the encampment and squinting in thought. “I don’t really feel like putting up with everyone’s condolences right now, but I know that if I don’t do it now, it’ll just happen later and I can’t afford to hide in my quarters all month.”

Jessica and Keith paused in front of them. “Thank you for what you did for Jaelyn-kun and the babies,” Jessica told him, her voice sad. “We’d like you to come over for dinner.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied with a slight nod. “I’ll be there.” To Kelly, he said, “Let’s go into the encampment. I think it’ll be better if I face whatever sympathy I’m going to get and get it over with. And it’ll be good to see Kevin again.”

Kevin greeted them warmly when they arrived at the Morykons’ tent. “I’m saddened to hear of your loss, Rodney. I could tell you felt deeply for her and were looking forward to your life together.”

“Thank you, Kevin,” Rodney replied sincerely. “Your words are appreciated. I guess some things just aren’t meant to be.”

They talked until Rodney had to leave for dinner with Jaelyn’s family.

“I’ll come with you,” Kelly said as he stood with Rodney.

“Stay,” Rodney replied, trying to wave him back down. “I can find my way back perfectly fine and this will give you both a chance to catch up before Natalia decides to play den mother and kick you out.”

“She’s actually not here right now,” Kevin replied. “She’s been helping another people with portable dialers for the Ring. She’s hoping to come later this month, though.”

“It would be good to see her again, if she does,” Kelly replied. “What would keep her away, though?”

“The people she’s helping have a way to help us establish a more reliable harvest cycle and we’re hoping to have that finished this month as well, even if this cycle’s harvest is too late to save.”

“Did she say who these people were?” Rodney asked, his interest piqued.

Kevin shook his head. “Only that they spoke the common language of the majority and are very gracious hosts. I think it is because, like so many planets, they know the Wraith and are careful of giving out too much information. You never know who might be a Worshipper.” Both Rodney and Kevin made a disgusted expression. “You better go, Rodney. I don’t want you being late for your dinner.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” Rodney asked expectantly.

“Tomorrow,” Kevin replied with a nod and a smile. “I will like that very much.”

When Rodney arrived at Jaelyn’s family’s quarters, he was greeted by the sad faces of her family.

“We wanted to thank you again for what you did for Jaelyn and the babies,” Keith said. “We couldn’t have gotten a better son.”

“And we wanted you to have these things,” Jessica said, pointing to the neatly stacked pile of items Jaelyn had been collecting for the wedding.

“What am I supposed to do with them?” Rodney asked, confusion evident in his voice.

“That is up to you,” Keith replied. “We won’t be offended whichever way you decide.”

“Okay, um….” Rodney tried to think as quickly as possible. “I’d like you all to have something, if you want it. Or, you know, a couple somethings. Feel free to take what you want.”

They all looked at him dubiously until Jennifer carefully picked out a couple of Jaelyn’s new dresses and Rodney gave her a small smile. Reassured that he meant what he said, the rest of the family each picked out a couple of things. When they had finished, they ate dinner in silence before helping Rodney carry the rest of the items to his quarters. Jillian and Kirby came out and helped them put things away. As everything was neatly stacked, Rodney made a mental inventory of what he had and started divvying it up to people he knew could use it.

Once Jaelyn’s family had left, he pulled out two blankets and two stools and said, “I want you both to have these.”

“We can’t take them, Rodney-kun,” Jillian replied.

“Please take them,” he replied. “I *want* you to have them. You’ve both been so generous to me.”

“Thank you, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied, graciously taking the items Rodney offered him. Rodney could tell, though, that he was a bit uneasy about it as well. After he put the items away, Kirby said, “During the festival, mourning practices are suspended, so we’ll start once it’s over.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied. “If there’s something else you’d rather have, Jillian-kun, I’ll gladly give it to you.”

“Let me think about it,” she replied, looking relieved. “It just feels odd to be taking something that was supposed to be part of a happy event for you.”

Rodney put the other stool and blanket away. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll make me happy if something I have can make you happy and be put to good use.”

After Jillian left with Jasmine to visit friends in the encampment, Kirby patted the stool next to his and said, “Rodney-kun, I need to talk to you about Jaelyn.”

“What about her?” Rodney asked apprehensively as he sat down next to Kirby, wondering what would cause him to be so serious about someone recently deceased.

“This wasn’t to be Jaelyn’s first marriage – or her first miscarriage.” Kirby continued through Rodney’s sharp intake of breath and raised eyebrows. “She was married before – a few cycles ago – but the Korsans took her husband. She was barely pregnant at the time – just enough that we knew for certain she was – but she miscarried after he was taken. We all assumed then that it was the grief that caused the pregnancy to end since they were very much in love, and maybe it’s still true, but maybe her body just wasn’t made to have children as much as she wanted them.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Rodney asked, feeling very much out of his depth.

“I’m telling you because I don’t want you carrying guilt over her death. If this hadn’t happened now, it would have happened after you were married. And I hope it will help you understand Jillian’s behavior these past few months. She was afraid that Jaelyn would hurt you in trying to get what she wanted – another child.”

“Then why –?” Rodney looked at him confused for a moment. “Why didn’t Jillian come out and say it, especially after everything came out?”

“I don’t know,” Kirby replied. “I can only guess that when she heard that the wedding was still on, she figured that you would be okay.”

Kelly called to them from the other side of the curtain and Kirby invited him in. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Kelly said.

“Not at all,” Kirby replied. “We’re finished here. Go on, Rodney-kun, have a good time.” He smiled at the two men.

“Thanks for telling me, Kirby. Would you mind helping me out, Kelly?” Rodney asked Kelly as he stood.

“Sure, what do you need to do?” Kelly asked.

“Jessica and Keith gave me the things Jaelyn had acquired for the wedding and I want to take some things to people who I think could use them.”

“No problem. Give me some things and let’s get going.”

Trying to track down the people on his list took Rodney more time than he thought, but it helped him find a new balance with his life and let him slowly get used to the idea that Jaelyn really was gone. It also cemented his desire to stay single for the rest of his life. He found he was happy to be able to do his own thing and not have to worry about someone else in such an intimate way.

“Why would you want to do that?” Kelly asked when Rodney told him near the end of the festival. “I’m sure we could find someone else for you, if you’re worried that we wouldn’t be able to.”

“It’s not that,” Rodney replied as they made their way through the crowd to the Morykons’ tent. “I just don’t think I could stand losing someone else again. And I’m happy being by myself.”

Kelly shook his head as they reached their tent. “I don’t get you, Rodney-chan. And I promise not to tell you I told you so when you change your mind.” He called into the tent and Kevin appeared a moment later.

“Hi,” Kevin replied, stepping outside. “I was told to tell you two that you should go back to your borough.”

“For what?” Kelly asked, eyebrows knitting together.

“I don’t know,” Kevin replied. “Natalia’s here and she stuck her head in to tell us to pass on the message if Rodney stopped by, but that was it before she left again.”

Kelly and Rodney looked at each other and shrugged. “Thanks, Kevin,” Kelly replied. “We’ll be back later.”

“I hope everything’s okay,” Rodney said as they headed to the village.

“I’m sure it will be,” Kelly replied. “If it wasn’t, I think they would have sent someone looking for us,” he said as they entered their borough and the conversation immediately stopped.

“What’s goi–?” Rodney asked, immediately stopping. He stared at the newcomers in dumbfounded silence, gaping at them. He was vaguely aware of Kelly looking back and forth between them and Kirby asking him something, but Rodney could only stare at John, Teyla, and Ronon, who were looking back at him in shock. “What the –? What the hell are you three doing here?”

“Who are they, Rodney-chan?” Kelly asked him nervously.

“They’re my –,” Rodney swallowed before continuing. “They’re my teammates. The ones I told you about. The woman is Teyla, the big guy is Ronon and the guy with the impossible hair is Col. John Sheppard.” Turning his attention back to them, he repeated, “What are you doing here?”

Rodney could see that while Ronon seemed to have recovered, there was surprise still in Teyla’s eyes and John’s frown deepened and he opened his mouth as Rodney’s brain clicked into gear and he realized that they couldn’t understand him.

His brain scrambled for a second before he repeated, “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean ‘what are you doing here’? We’re here to take you home,” John managed to say as he took a cautious step forward.

“It is good to see you again, Rodney,” Teyla said as she came forward with a warm smile, easily passing John, putting her hands on his shoulders and tilting her head down slightly.

“It’s, uh, good to see you again too, Teyla,” Rodney replied, mirroring her actions before putting both of his hands on her cheeks. He could feel the expectant air around them ease a bit at the sight of the familiar gesture.

Ronon was next, sweeping him into a fierce hug. Rodney was afraid they wouldn’t be able to pry Ronon off of him before some real damage was done. “I’m glad we found you, buddy,” he told Rodney gruffly.

“Need air here,” Rodney said, patting Ronon on the shoulder and Ronon released him with a goofy grin.

Rodney eyed John warily. “Well, then,” he said, hesitantly.

“It’s good to see you, Rodney,” John said.

“It’s good to see you too,” Rodney replied as he closed the distance between them and cupped John’s face with his hands. John looked surprised, but didn’t pull away, and after a moment, he mirrored the act.

When Rodney and John stepped away from each other, Kirby said, “Rodney-kun, Natalia was just about to explain to us who are new guests are. Perhaps you would like to do it for her?”

Rodney ducked his head before replying, “These are my teammates from my native home.” He gestured to each of them as he said, “This is John Sheppard, Ronon Dex and Teyla Emmagen. I can’t say why they’re here, though. Natalia will have to explain that one to you.”

“They came to see about making alliances with the tribes here,” Natalia replied, “and to see about taking you home.”

“I’ll see you later, Rodney-chan,” Kelly said.

“Okay,” Rodney replied, barely taking his eyes off his teammates. “I’ll introduce you properly later.”

“Why don’t you go into our quarters, Rodney-kun,” Kirby said as Kelly left. “I’ll make sure you have some uninterrupted time to get reacquainted.”

“Thank you, Kirby,” Rodney replied. “Come on,” he said to Ronon, John, and Teyla as he went into his quarters.

Looking around as Rodney pulled out stools, John said, “Well, this is cozy.”

“It’s got its own sort of charm,” Rodney replied. “I live here with Kirby and his daughter, Jillian.” After taking their gear and stowing it at the end of his cot, Rodney said, “Please, sit,” as he took off his robe and traded his boots for moccasins. “Can I get you something to drink or something to eat?”

“Nah, we’re good,” John replied as they sat.

Rodney sat down on his cot and saw they were examining him. He wondered how he looked to them. He knew he was leaner – any excess fat has been burned off long ago and his hair was shaggier and a little longer than any of them, himself included, were used to. And it was probably a little odd to see him sitting still and not babbling away or messing with something. For his part, he could see that they hadn’t changed much in the past four cycles, aside from Ronon having a new tattoo on his left forearm.

Teyla was the first to break the silence. “You look well, Rodney.”

“I’ve been gone for four cycles and that’s the best you can come up with?” he asked in disbelief. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before amending, “Sorry. That was out of line.”

“That tunnel’s pretty cool,” Ronon replied with a grin.

“It is pretty ingenious,” Rodney agreed with a smile of his own.

“If you had access to the ‘Gate, why didn’t you come home?” John asked.

“No ‘Gate dialer,” Rodney replied. “It’s not like everyone here has one. Most have never been off the planet. And it’s not like I didn’t try,” he added huffily.

“Well, we’re here to take you home now,” John told him.

“I don’t know if I want to go back to Atlantis,” Rodney replied, crossing his arms.

“Why not?” John asked in alarm.

“Maybe I like it here. Maybe I like it better here than Atlantis. Maybe I like not having to perform life or death miracles.”

“We are not forcing you to come back, Rodney,” Teyla replied as she gave John a stern look. “We are merely letting you know the option is there. We will be here until the end of the festival – whichever way you decide.”

“Are you, uh, staying with the Morykons?” Rodney asked, letting the anger at John’s assumption leave him.

“We are,” Teyla replied. “Kirby was here when we came in from the tunnel and Natalia wanted to introduce us first before continuing on.”

“You should stay a night or two here. I know no one would mind.” Rodney turned when he heard voices outside were getting closer and one was excited.

“What’s going on?” Ronon asked, looking a little uneasy and on the ready.

“It’s, uh, Jillian. She wants to meet you three and Kirby’s trying to convince her to give us a little more time first.”

“It’s not like we’re meeting you for the first time,” John replied with a roll of his eyes. “We’ve already met Kirby, so why don’t we meet her now and get it out of the way?”

“Okay,” Rodney replied, getting up. He went to the entry and stuck his head out. “It’s okay,” he told them. “They want to meet her too.”

Jillian’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Really,” Rodney replied with a smile and moved aside so she could enter. He led her over to where they were sitting. “This is John, Teyla, and Ronon – my team,” he told her as he pointed them out and she gave them each a slight bow.

“I remember you talking about them,” Jillian replied, looking at him with concern. “Does this mean you’re going back with them?”

“I don’t know,” Rodney replied. “It’s something I’ll have to think about.”

Jillian nodded and said, “Invite them for dinner.” Rodney complied and passed on the invitation.

“That’s very kind,” Teyla replied, “but we don’t want to put you out. Tell her we’ll take a rain check for a day when she’s had time to plan.”

Rodney relayed the message, but Jillian was adamant that they would stay for dinner that night. “I guess she wants to make sure you have a home-cooked meal your first night here,” Rodney told them with a wry smile. “Let’s get your things over to the Morykons’ tent while she’s starting dinner.”

Ronon, Teyla, and John stood and Rodney handed each of them their gear. Once they were ready, he led them out of the tent and into the sunlight. They paused for a moment to let their eyes adjust to the brighter light and John reflexively put on his sunglasses.

“Lot of people,” Ronon commented as they started walking again.

“There are,” Rodney agreed. “But this is the big business event of the cycle for everyone, so there’s always a good turnout. And I’m assuming that Elizabeth wants you to see if you can do business with anyone.”

“That was the idea,” John drawled as he looked around.

Even with the shades on and four cycles between them, Rodney knew the look he was using – John was checking for threats. Rodney knew it wasn’t anything personal, but he felt like telling him that no one here was a *serious* threat – never had been, never would be.

They wound through the encampment with Rodney leading the way and occasionally greeting people and making quick appointments.

“You’re popular,” John commented when they reached the Morykons’ tent.

“It sounds like you’re surprised,” Rodney commented before calling into the tent.

Natalia and Kevin greeted them and helped stow their things. Once that was done, Rodney made the formal introduction between them and Kevin, who seemed pleased to meet them. They were quiet on the way back and through dinner – which Rodney was going to consider a miracle for the amount of food Jillian had whipped up in such a short time.

Rodney had hoped to talk to them after dinner, but after they had finished, John yawned loudly.

“I’m sorry,” John said sheepishly. “I didn’t sleep last night.”

On his way back home from taking them to the Morykons’ tent, Rodney wasn’t sure what to think. Part of him wanted to say that having them show up now was his mind’s way of trying to cope with the loss of Jaelyn and the babies. But if that were the case, Ronon wouldn’t have a new tattoo and John wouldn’t look so haunted and tired.

Rodney admitted that he had wanted to see them for so long that, now that he had the chance, he didn’t know what he wanted to do or say to them. And he definitely didn’t know if he wanted to go back. He would admit that it would be good for closure, but what if they didn’t let him come back?

“You look troubled, Rodney-kun,” Kirby said when Rodney reentered their quarters. “I would think that your friends being here would be a cause for celebration”

“It is,” Rodney replied as he sat down with a sigh. “They want me to go back with them.”

“Do you want to?”

“I honestly don’t know. I had always assumed that if I got the chance to I would, I guess. But now that they’re here….” He trailed off.

“I think you should. That way you can finally put those questions and feelings to rest and move forward. You will always be welcomed back.”

“If they let me,” Rodney muttered. “But what about you?” he asked.

Kirby shrugged. “I’ll find someone else. It’s not like sudden vacancies are a new thing here, Rodney-kun. And Laura will as well. It’s been a fact of life for us for a long time.”

“What about Jaelyn’s family? Don’t I have an obligation to them?”

“No, you don’t. You fulfilled your end of the punishment, the marriage didn’t happen and, ultimately, you didn’t have any children.” Seeing that Rodney was about to protest, Kirby continued, “You’ve seen what happens here when someone dies. It’s not any one person’s or family’s responsibility to make sure the remaining family members are provided for. Everyone chips in to help them out.” He stood. “Get some rest and try to clear your head. The next few days will be tough for you. I know you’ll make the right decision.”

“I certainly hope so,” Rodney replied as he laid down on his cot and let out a deep breath, closing his eyes to concentrate.

He felt like he had back at the beginning – adrift and unsure, wishing his wasn’t in this position, and, this time, wishing he didn’t care so much for both sides. When he shifted and rolled over, he found Jillian making breakfast.

“Good morning, sleepy-head,” she said with a smile.

Rodney quickly got up, changed, and went through his morning ablutions. “You should’ve woken me,” he hissed. “They’ll be here any minute.”

“You’ll be fine,” she said, unconcerned. Hearing foreign accents outside as he finished, she said, “See, just in time.”

“Very funny,” Rodney replied dryly. He went to let them in. “Good morning,” he told them as they entered and they responded in kind. “I hope you all slept well.”

“Very well,” John replied as they sat around the fire pit. “The Morykons seem to enjoy traveling in style. It’s quite different from they way they live at home.”

As they talked and ate, Rodney was reminded of how much he had come to care for these three, as well as the people back on Atlantis and that, regardless of where he ended up, he needed to go back to Atlantis and say a proper good-bye to everyone there. He just hoped that Kelly would understand.

Near the end of breakfast, Kelly hailed them from outside and Jillian waved Rodney to stay seated while she let him in. Seeing the crowd, Kelly said, “I’ll come back later.”

“No, stay,” Rodney replied. “I want you to meet everyone anyway. These are my best friends in Atlantis – John, Teyla, and Ronon,” he said, pointing each of them out. “This is my bound friend, Kelly,” he told them.

“Bound friend?” John asked, gaze shifting to Kelly and then back to Rodney. “Sounds a little… hinky.”

“It’s like a best friend, but deeper,” Rodney replied. “He’s kept me from going crazy more than once.”

Looking at his watch, John said, “I hate to eat and run, but we have an agreement with Natalia to make some contacts with the other groups here and she wanted to get started early. Did you want to come with us?”

“I need to talk to Kelly first, then I’ll see if I can find you,” Rodney replied, feeling a tiny sting, but pushing it away.

The Lanteans nodded and stood, had Rodney relay a ‘thanks’ to Jillian – who had stepped out, and headed out.

“What’s going on?” Kelly asked, looking confused and sitting down next to Rodney.

“Natalia’s introducing them to some of the other groups,” Rodney replied. “I need to tell you something, though. They’ve asked me to go back with them and I think I’m going to.”

“Good for you,” Kelly replied. “I know you’ve wanted that for a long time.”

“The thing is,” Rodney added, looking down at his hands, “I don’t know if I want to stay there. I love it here and I don’t want to leave all of you.”

“Don’t worry about us, Rodney-chan. We’re a resilient bunch – just like you. You need to do this. You’ve always said you wanted to make a clean break from them. Now’s your chance to do so. Or, if you place is with them, that’s how it will end up.”

Rodney looked at Kelly for a long moment, torn between going through with his decision and changing his mind. The decision to go back to Atlantis slowly won out. Impulsively, he leaned over and hugged Kelly tightly. “You’ve been a better friend than I’ve ever had,” he told the shocked Kelly as he pulled away. “I hope we’ll be able to see each other again.”

“I have a feeling we will,” Kelly replied with a smile. Touching his heart, he said, “I can feel it in here.”

“I certainly hope so,” Rodney replied, wondering what being back in Atlantis would be like after four cycles away.

“Are you sure about this?” Teyla asked as Rodney adjusted his robe and shouldered his pack – which now contained a number of items he had accumulated while on Lapras.

His Lantean items had been divvied between Ronon, John and Teyla’s packs. They all also had an extra bag – Teyla, Ronon, and John carried things that had been given as trading tokens. Rodney’s was full of things the Laprans had given to him to take with him. He didn’t know how they had gotten it together so quickly and he wasn’t even completely sure what all was in it.

“Yes, I’m sure,” he replied as he adjusted the straps and grabbed his staff and bag. Looking up at her, he added, “I need to do this. Okay, I’m ready.”

The foursome headed into the caves and then into the tunnel, joined by Kirby, Jillian, and Kelly. John gave them a wary look, but Rodney waved it off and spent most of the journey talking to them, wanting his last few hours with them to last as long as possible.

When they reached the ‘Gate, Kelly handed the dialer to Rodney. He plugged it in and, with shaking hands, tapped in the address for Atlantis. The ‘Gate initialized and kawooshed as it has countless times before. Rodney couldn’t help but stare at the shimmering wormhole for a long moment before John put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and sent his IDC through.

Suddenly having an idea, Rodney scrabbled in the front pocket of his pack and pulled out his own IDC, plus a piece of paper and a pencil – which he used to scribble down Atlantis’ address. “Here,” he said, handing them over to Kelly. “I want you guys to have these. If you ever need help, put in this address and, once the wormhole stabilizes, turn this on and press this button,” he showed them how. “That will get you through to us. Just tell them to get Rodney McKay and we’ll help you.”

“Okay,” Kelly replied a little uncertainly.

“Just in case,” Rodney told him and Kelly nodded.

“Are you coming, Rodney?” John asked and Rodney looked over his shoulder to see that Ronon and Teyla had already gone through. John was waiting for him, and had Rodney’s stuff at his feet.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Rodney muttered under his breath and Kelly, Kirby and Jillian looked at him, amused. He looked over all three of them for a long moment, before giving them each a bear hug. Pulling away from Kelly, he said, “I’m going to miss all of you. Thank you for everything.”

“Be happy, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied.

“We’ll see each other again, Rodney-chan,” Kelly told him.

“And we’ll miss you too,” Jillian replied with a small smile.

Rodney let out a small breath as he turned and headed up the steps of the ‘Gate’s dais. He *wasn’t* going to cry, damnit. When he reached John, he gave him a small nod and John headed through the ‘Gate. Rodney looked back at his little family and raised his hand in a wave. They repeated the movement and he stepped through the ‘Gate.

When he stepped through on the other side, Rodney reflexively took a breath as he reoriented himself. He was subconsciously aware of the ‘Gate dissipating behind him and felt a twinge of sadness.

“We were beginning to wonder if you’d changed your mind,” John told him with a wry grin from where he, Ronon and Teyla were waiting for him.

“Well, I made a promise that I’d come back for at least a little while,” Rodney replied nonchalantly, as if this whole thing had been planned all along.

“Rodney,” Elizabeth said, approaching him cautiously, as if he wasn’t really there.

“Elizabeth,” Rodney replied with a small bow. “It’s good to see you again.”

She impulsively threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Rodney slowly returned the hug, more than a little shocked at her action. “You’re really back,” she said more to his shoulder than to him.

“Yes, I am,” he replied, unsure of what to do, as he gently rubbed a circle on her back.

She tentatively stepped back and quickly wiped her eyes, giving him an apologetic smile. “I’m sure you’ll want to get settled in. Your quarters are still available if you want them.”

“Sure,” he replied with a shrug.

“Debriefing will be in an hour,” she said pointedly to all four of them.

Rodney nodded as he headed to his quarters, dimly aware of the people around him. He knew in his mind, that even with the probable expansion of the expedition over the past four cycles, Atlantis still had fewer people than Lapras. But it still seemed like there were more people around and between them and the hard walls of the city by the time he reached his quarters, he felt claustrophobic.

As soon as he entered his quarters, he dropped his bags and staff on the bed and headed out onto his balcony to take in deep breaths of air, feeling himself slowly relax. Once he felt calmer, he headed back into the room and looked around.

Everything looked the way he remembered it, which felt oddly comforting. The discomfiting part was that it looked like he had only been gone a short time, not four cycles. It hadn’t been completely cleared out like he had figured it would be – and it was still as clean. The only thing that was different was his desk; it had been completely cleared off. Any papers and laptops that were on it had disappeared, though he assumed that they had been taken down to the labs so the other scientists could use them, which he approved of. Also missing were the dirty coffee mugs, food wrappers, and partially eaten food that had been strewn on his desk along with his papers – and would have been a biological hazard by now.

He took off his robe and boots, carefully laying the robe over his desk chair and placing his boots at the end of his bed and propped his staff in the corner of his bed and the wall. He pulled his moccasins out of his pack and slipped them on. He sighed as he looked around the room again, trying to figure out where to start.

He opened the drawers in his dresser and found only one completely full with his Lantean clothing, the other two had a few scattered remnants. He put his Lantean clothes in the bottom drawer and consolidated the odds and ends into the right half of the middle drawer. He emptied his pack and put his Lapran clothes into the top drawer.

He began carefully unpacking the bag from the Laprans. He smiled when he pulled out the pouch on top – it had been filled with foodstuffs for his journey. There were also two pouches of water. Beneath that was a new set of clothes – shirt, pants, and moccasins. He found a few other practical things in the bag – a tinder starter, a comb and towel, a set of sheets, and a blanket. He smiled fondly as he pulled each thing out, thinking of the people who would have contributed the items.

Wrapped up in the blanket was a tea set Rodney remembered admiring and he placed it on top of his dresser, wondering what Kelly had used to barter for it. Wedged into a corner at the bottom of the bag, Rodney found Kirby had packed his medicine pouch with everything he’d need. As he took a quick stock of what exactly he had, he found a small bundle among the herbs and he carefully opened it. Inside was a delicate glass ornament. Rodney held it up to the window and it glittered in the setting sun. He realized that Jillian had made him a dream catcher and smiled as he carefully hung it on his bed.

He quickly changed the sheets and blanket on his bed to the Lapran ones and stowed the Lantean ones in the dresser. After putting everything away, he ate a snack of dried fruit and jerky and looked around his room with a sigh. It was going to take some getting used to.

The door chime sounded and Rodney started, almost choking on his water. “Come in,” he called between coughs.

The door slid open with a slight whoosh and John came in. “Here’s your things,” he said, dropping his pack on Rodney’s desk. “Settling back in okay?” he asked as he looked around.

“I guess so,” Rodney replied as he cleaned up the remains of his snack and inwardly dared John to comment on his changes. His defensiveness surprised him. If only John acted like he had actually been gone for three years and not just over to the mainland for a jaunt to the Athosian settlement….

John intercepted him as Rodney crossed over to the desk and he put his hands on Rodney’s waist. “I missed you *so* much,” he whispered, his voice raw, and leaned into to kiss Rodney.

Surprised, Rodney jumped back, jarring the desk. “Ow,” he said, rubbing his hip. “I missed you too, John,” he replied. “But I’m not –” He shook his head and turned to the pack. “I can’t do this right now.”

“What was that?” John asked, sounding surprised, hurt, and curious all rolled up into one. But he didn’t close the distance.

“I said I’d better get this unpacked before we have to leave for the debriefing,” Rodney replied as if nothing had happened.

Rodney carefully took out the water bottles, energy bars, glycerin tablets, epi pens, writing pens, and writing tablets. “That looks like everything,” he said as he handed back John’s pack, not commenting on the absence of his laptops, data pads and various accoutrements.

“I haven’t said anything about the IDC code yet,” John said. “I figured you’d want to tell Elizabeth yourself about that one.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied. “We should get going. The briefing’s going to start soon.”

John looked at his watch and then around the room, confused. He knew Rodney hadn’t been wearing a watch when they came through the ‘Gate and he had never kept any clocks in his room. But he was right on the money. “Yeah, we have about five minutes. How did you know that?” he asked, incredulous.

“Lapras is on the same time rotation we are,” Rodney replied as he grabbed his medicine pouch and headed out, a confused John following behind. “The only difference is that they have a ten month rotation cycle compared to our twelve. When you don’t have the sun or some sort of timepiece to tell you what time it is, you get very used to being able to just know what time it is.”

“Well, I guess that’s kind of cool. Did you develop any other superpowers while you were away?” John asked dryly.

“Don’t mock me, Colonel. I can still kill you with my brain.”

“I don’t doubt that,” John muttered.

They walked the rest of the way to the conference room in silence. Once there, Rodney quickly slipped into the empty seat between Teyla and Ronon. John gave him a confused look, but said nothing as he sat on the other side of Ronon and across from Rodney. Elizabeth came in with Radek Zelenka, Major Lorne – who was on crutches – and a man Rodney was fairly certain he should know, but couldn’t place, and they all took a seat. Carson limped in last and took the final seat next to John.

Rodney couldn’t take his eyes off of Carson. The man had limped in and sat down heavily – which was unexpected. There was also something wrong with his left hand. Rodney couldn’t quite place what it was, but it nagged at him. He watched as John leaned over and said something quietly in Carson’s ear. Carson shook his head and murmured something back as he flexed his hand. John said something else and Carson chuckled, his mood brightening.

Rodney was surprised at them. Well, at John specifically. He could tell right away that, Carson at least, definitely had feelings that weren’t exactly platonic. And Sheppard was either playing it very cool for once or was oblivious. Rodney was betting on the latter, knowing his teammate. And he knew that John wouldn’t have come on to him in his quarters if he and Carson were in a relationship.

“Let’s get started,” Elizabeth said. “This debriefing will be conducted in parts. I want to, first, make sure we’re all on the same page as to what’s going to happen now that Rodney’s back. Then I would like Rodney to go get a full examination – standard precaution, while I debrief John and his team about their mission. After all of Carson’s tests are done, the relevant people will reconvene for where we go next.”

There were murmurs of assent as she paused before continuing on, “First off, welcome back, Rodney. It’s great to have you back with us. For the time being, I’d like Radek to stay in charge of the Science Department until you’ve finished readjusting to Atlantis.” Both men nodded in agreement. “And for the next few weeks, I am going to have Major Lorne assigned to you as an escort.”

“What?” Rodney was completely taken aback by that. “Why?”

“Safety precautions,” Elizabeth replied calmly. “You should know – you helped write the rules.”

“I know,” Rodney replied with a sigh. “But don’t you think that *nothing* *happening* in the four cycles I was gone would indicate that the Laprans and their trading partners don’t really care about Atlantis? Your own dealings with the Morykons should be proof of that.” He slumped back in his seat. “This is insane,” he muttered, crossing his arms.

“What was that?” Elizabeth asked.

“Nothing,” Rodney replied insolently.

“I would think that your use of the Lapran language and the fact that you’re still wearing Lapran garb would be more than enough cause for concern. And you said you’ve been gone for four cycles. How long do you think you’ve been gone?”

Rodney let out a huff and started to explain as if he was talking to a room of three-year-olds. “Four cycles. One cycle is ten months. Each month is thirty days. Therefore, I’ve been gone for a total of 1200 days, or three years, three months, and fifteen days – give or take a few hours.”

“I have a feeling we can all safely assume that that really is Rodney McKay,” John quipped.

Rodney glared at him and replied caustically, “Thank you for that scientifically astute observation, Captain Obvious.” Turning his attention back to Elizabeth, he said, “If you really wanted someone to keep an eye on me, please don’t insult both Major Lorne and myself by wasting both of our time. I could *walk* faster than him right now.”

“But I’m pretty sure I could take you out with my crutches before you got very far,” Lorne replied calmly and without batting an eye.

“That’s why,” Elizabeth replied. “Besides, he doesn’t have anything else to do for the next two months while his leg is in the cast, therefore he will be your escort until we get things straightened out.”

“Who’s the new guy?” Rodney asked before Elizabeth could get any further.

“Dr. Johan Darby,” the stranger replied. “I’m your mandated replacement. And I will gladly give you back your position on the team as soon as I’m allowed.”

“What are your credentials?” Rodney asked him warily.

“I have a doctorate in biogeochemistry and engineering. I came over as part of the original expedition. And I’m from Podunk, Mississippi, by way of Area 51 and Goa’uld technology.”

“That’s good. But, seriously – Johan?”

Darby just shrugged in response. “At least that wasn’t my fault.”

“Rodney, why don’t you, Carson and Lorne head down to the infirmary and get started?” Elizabeth asked, her tone implying that it wasn’t actually a request. The three men nodded and left the conference room.

“It’s good to see you again, Rodney,” Carson said as they headed for the transporter. “John always believed we’d get you back.”

“It’s good to see you too, Carson,” Rodney replied, as they stopped outside the transporter, and put his hands on Carson’s cheeks. “And you too, Major Lorne,” he added with a slight bow. “Well, we all know about Sheppard’s ‘leave no man behind’ complex.” That earned him a snicker from Lorne as they stepped into the transporter.

When they reached the infirmary, Lorne plopped down onto a bed near the doorway and Carson led Rodney farther back.

Sitting down where indicated, Rodney quietly asked, “So what happened?”

“His foot made a detour into a sinkhole and the rest of him kept going on its original course,” Carson replied in a business-like tone as he pulled out a thermometer and a blood pressure cuff.

“No, I mean with you,” Rodney managed to get out before Carson stuck the thermometer in his mouth.

“It was an exploding brain tumor a few months after you left. Thankfully, the total damage was minimal compared to what it could have been.”

“Do I want to ask about the exploding tumor, or just be quietly grateful that I wasn’t here?”

“Be quietly grateful,” Carson replied as he strapped the cuff around Rodney’s arm.

Carson did a thorough examination and, when he was finished, said, “From my preliminary analysis, you’re healthier than when you left. You’ve lost the excess weight and your blood pressure is down. And you have no apparent symptoms of anything that you might have caught while you were there. I’ll know more about everything else when I get the test results back in a few hours. So I have no reason to keep you here. Why don’t you go get something to eat? We wouldn’t want your hypoglycemia to kick in.”

“Thanks, Carson,” Rodney replied as he hopped down from the exam table. “I’ll see you in a few hours.” He bowed slightly to Carson before crossing the room and waking the dozing Lorne. “If you want to have any chance of keeping up with me, you better come along and get something to eat.”

The next morning, Rodney woke up disoriented and, for a fleeting moment, terrified that he had been captured and taken prisoner. Then it slowly settled in that he was back in his quarters in Atlantis and that he wasn’t technically a prisoner – or, at least, that Elizabeth would never technically call it such.

He got up, made quick work of getting dressed and making himself presentable before heading down to the mess hall. There were a few scattered groups already eating when he got there, and a few people looked at him in either shock or surprise as he got something to eat and sat down. But no one approached him as he ate.

Once he’d finished eating, he debated where to go and ended up heading out to the control room. He figured that if Elizabeth was having him escorted everywhere for the time being, she wasn’t going to let him in the labs just yet.

“Welcome back, Dr. McKay,” one of the technicians said.

“Thanks… uh… Chuck?” Rodney asked, thinking he looked familiar and the tech nodded.

“You’re a hard man to find, Doc,” Lorne said, coming up behind him.

“I highly doubt it, Major,” Rodney replied, turning to him. “We both know that if you’re tailing me, Elizabeth more than likely will keep me out of the labs for the time being. That drastically cuts down the places I’d be.”

“But the control room?”

Rodney shrugged. “I figured it would be a good place as any to hear about whatever’s going on. And I might get to annoy Elizabeth in the process for thinking I’m a threat.” He sat down in an empty chair next to Chuck. “You may as well get comfortable, Major. I’m not planning on going anywhere for a while. So… what can you two tell me about my replacement – Dr. Johan Darby?”

Both men shrugged. “He’s a nice guy,” Chuck said.

“He can hold his own in a fight,” Lorne added. “He tends to keep to himself, though, when he’s not working. Seems to get along with the team – including Sheppard.”

“What do you mean – ‘including Sheppard’?” Rodney asked, intrigued.

“From what I heard, he didn’t want to add anyone to the team – he wanted to leave your spot open. But Dr. Weir made him.”

“Interesting,” Rodney replied. “So, what else have I missed?”

“Some of the expedition members have gotten married,” Chuck told him, “and there are a few kids running around Atlantis now.”

“The Wraith are no longer a threat,” Lorne added. At Rodney’s questioning look, he said, “We turned them on Michael and things just went downhill from there. There are still a few around – but they’re hardly a threat and we’re slowly weeding them out.”

As Rodney had figured when he met with Elizabeth just before lunch, she barred him from the labs for the foreseeable future. She also didn’t assign him to anything else, pending an assessment by Heightmeyer – which he got out of the way that afternoon after Carson reported to Elizabeth that, as far as he could tell, Rodney was healthier now than when he’d left. Heightmeyer also pronounced him healthy – aside from a slight case of Stockholm syndrome that wouldn’t affect his every day life.

Rodney plopped down into a seat next to Chuck the next morning. “Are you always here?” he asked.

“Usually,” Chuck replied without looking away from one of the monitors. “It’s what happens when you work the day shift. Still on probation?”

“Yep. All that’s missing are the handcuffs,” Rodney replied. Hearing the odd snap of Lorne’s crutches, he added, “Oh, here they are.” Leaning back and looking at Lorne upside down, he said, “I could’ve sworn I lost you.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Lorne replied as he dropped into a nearby chair, panting slightly. “You’re not that hard to follow when you’re up early and not wearing one of the Atlantis uniforms.”

“If you’re going to be here for a while,” Chuck said, looking at Rodney, “you may as well tell us what it was like where you were.”

“Especially after we told you about everything that’s happened in Atlantis over the past three years,” Lorne added.

“Well, I don’t know where to start, really,” Rodney replied with a shrug. “I lived with a people whose technology is the other end of the spectrum from the Ancients. But, I will admit that their knowledge of their environment is pretty astounding. They live on a desert planet that has ongoing sandstorms and they’ve been able to thrive there around an anomalous cave system that has a spring inside.”

“I heard they have a different language,” Chuck said. “Would you mind speaking some of it?”

“I think our valiant ‘Gate technician is getting a little hungry for a taste of the off-world life,” Rodney said to Lorne and they both chuckled. “The Laprans do,” Rodney told Chuck, “unlike most planets – which Lorne can attest to.” He thought for a moment, before saying, “And I miss them – more than I thought I would. If I had known that, I might not have come back. I might have just told Sheppard, Teyla, and Ronon that I was happy to see them, but that I was fine and happy where I was and to let everyone else know. But my curiosity got the better of me and here I am. And now I don’t know if Elizabeth will let me go back.”

“That’s pretty cool,” Chuck replied with a grin. “What did you say?”

“Just that I missed them and that I hope I can see them again one day.” Rodney looked over his shoulder towards Elizabeth’s office. “I hope I can convince her to let me do it. The Laprans aren’t a threat – they really don’t care about taking over Atlantis. And neither do any of their trading partners.”

The days settled into a routine for Rodney. He’d wake up at 7:00 am, get dressed in his Lapran clothes, and head down to the mess hall for breakfast. After a few minutes of searching, he’d find something suitable to eat, still missing Jillian’s cooking. He would usually end up being joined by one, or more, of either his old teammates, Carson, Radek, or Chuck. Very rarely did Lorne join him; despite being in the Air Force, he thought 7:30 was an ungodly time to be awake if it wasn’t a necessity. They both knew where Rodney would end up anyway, so they figured it was a fair deal.

During the long shifts, Chuck was usually able to get Rodney started on stories about his time in Lapras, but it was Lorne who usually kept him going. Rodney found that he enjoyed talking about it, even if he had to be consistently reminded to speak in English – to Chuck and Lorne’s amusement. Through his story-telling and ensuing conversations, Rodney found that he did enjoy Chuck and Lorne’s company and that he and Chuck had more in common than simply being Canadian and their love of hockey. And Rodney found that he enjoyed Lorne’s sense of humor and how at ease he was with his surroundings.

Because of this, Rodney found himself considering Lorne as a bound friend and wondering how he’d take it. Lorne seemed like a good anchor and Rodney knew Kelly would approve of him. He was curious if Lorne would go for it, though. He knew it was an odd concept and that it would probably take Lorne a while to agree to it, if he didn’t say no outright. He would just have to think about the presentation some more.

In the evenings, Rodney, Chuck, and Lorne would normally go to dinner together when Chuck’s shift finished. Some nights, Rodney would hang out with them afterwards and either play cards or chess. He even taught them some of the Lapran dice games – which they got a kick out of playing. Other nights, he would go back to his room and go through his staff forms and then meditate. In every instance, when he went to bed, he fell asleep thinking of Lapras and the people he had left there.

“Do you think there’s anyway I could get some paper and something to write with?” Rodney asked Lorne one morning when he finally showed up.

“Sure,” Lorne replied with a shrug. “I’m sure Elizabeth will allow you a letter in lieu of a phone call. We can swing by my office at lunch time.”

Both Rodney and Chuck chuckled. Making light of Rodney’s “prisoner” status had become second nature among the three of them. “Sadly, that wouldn’t work either, since they don’t have a written language,” he replied. “I was thinking last night, though, that it would be good if I wrote all of this down,” he tapped his temple, “before I forget any of it. I’m sure the anthropologists and whoever else would love to get their hands on it.”

“I’m surprised they haven’t been swarming over you already,” Lorne commented as he sat down. “You’ve been back for a few weeks already. I could probably see about getting you a computer if you want – it might be quicker.”

“Dr. Weir probably told them they weren’t allowed near him until she said so,” Chuck commented.

“And she’s probably trying to make sure that I don’t go crazy or something first – so she probably won’t let me near a laptop either,” Rodney commented as he looked over towards her office. “This is insane. I’m sure she knows by now that I’m not going to suddenly go crazy. I’ve seen a bunch of teams come and go through the ‘Gate – including Sheppard’s. And nothing’s happened.”

“But you know she’s just being careful,” Lorne replied. “You know what things have been like.”

“I do,” Rodney replied, his anger rising. “And that’s what stings the most. I can understand the Laprans not wanting me to have contact with Atlantis – I’m an unknown element. They don’t know what I’m capable of or what my intentions are. Add in a different language and that spells a whole lot of trouble. But Elizabeth knows me and knows what I’m capable of. And you’ve all met the Morykons. If they’re worth trusting and they think that the Laprans are worth trusting, that should go a fair way when I come home. I shouldn’t be treated like a damn prisoner!” He smacked his hand on the console.

“English,” Chuck murmured as he looked past Rodney to Elizabeth’s office and saw her looking out at them. “You don’t want to give her any ammunition to use against you.”

“It’s not like I have anything to lose,” Rodney commented. “Is it lunchtime yet?”

It took Rodney a few days to get everything written out, and he spent most of the time murmuring under his breath as he went along to make sure he got it right. But he found it to be oddly comforting to write down the Laprans’ history and stories. The writing itself went easier than he had expected, though he occasionally stumbled over how to spell a word in Lapran. Once he was finished, he rewrote it and cleaned it up before moving on to translate it all into English.

“Okay,” Rodney said, putting down the pen for the last time and straightening the sheaf of papers. “I think I’m ready to make a break for it,” he said to Lorne.

Lorne nodded and stood, easily positioning his crutches under his arms as he said to Chuck, “If we don’t make it back alive, please take care of my plants and you can do whatever you want with the art supplies.”

“I’ll see you both for dinner, then?” Chuck replied straight-faced, though his eyes shown with amusement.

“God willing,” Rodney replied. The three men laughed and Rodney and Lorne headed out, Rodney’s papers cradled in the crook of his arm.

“Hello, Dr. McKay,” a woman greeted them when they entered the main anthropology lab. Rodney gave her a quick bow, but drew a blank on her name. “Major Lorne,” she added with a nod of her head.

“Hi, Dr. Tamoura,” Lorne replied with a nod as well.

“So you actually are capable of using people’s names,” Rodney dryly commented to Lorne.

“I only do it with people I’m not close to,” Lorne replied.

“How can I help you?” Dr. Tamoura asked, getting up from her workstation and coming over.

“Oh, right,” Rodney replied. “I – uh – I thought my experiences with the Laprans might be of interest to someone here, so I, uh, wrote down their history and stories – both in Lapran and in English.” He shifted the papers so they were practically shielding him.

Dr. Tamoura’s eyes lit up. “This is wonderful, Dr. McKay. May I?” She held out her hands and Rodney slowly handed the papers over to her, suddenly shy about doing so. Dr. Tamoura took them from him and began flipping through the English version. “Oh, this is amazing,” she said.

“It loses a little something in the reading,” Rodney commented, “since they have an oral tradition and lack a writing system. But I didn’t want to forget any of it.”

She looked up at him as if he was holding the Holy Grail. “I’m sure you’re a busy man, Dr. McKay, but would you mind recording at least some of this for us?”

“Sure,” Rodney replied with a shrug. “I’ll do all of it if you would like – in both Lapran and English, I presume?”

And now she looked like he had just given her both the Holy Grail and a verified map to the Fountain of Youth. “That would be *amazing*,” she said. “When can you start?”

“Whenever you want me to,” Rodney replied.

When they left a few hours later, Rodney had set up a few times when he could come in and record the Laprans’ oral traditions as well as answer some questions about their culture and his experience with them.

And with that weighing heavily on his mind, he said to Lorne, “I have something to ask of you. I know it’s going to sound weird and it’s okay if you don’t want to, but would you consider being my bound friend?”

“That’s like best friends, right?” Lorne replied thoughtfully.

“That’s the simple way of saying it, yes. But for Laprans, there’s a lot of gravity to it.”

“Why me? You seem to get along just as well with Chuck. And what about one of your old friends or your teammates?”

Rodney shrugged. “Too much time has passed with most of them. I don’t know where to start with them. Besides, I don’t think that I’d be comfortable doing something like this with them. And Chuck –” Rodney shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t get the same vibe from him that I do you – that –.” Rodney huffed. “I don’t know how to explain it. Why are you closer with some people over others, when they’re all equal in merit?”

Lorne shrugged. “I get what you’re saying, though. What would my end of the bargain be?”

“You’d get a free pass to dump all of your shit on me whenever you want – among other things. But think about it and let me know,” he said as they turned into the mess hall and Lorne nodded.

“So, what’s on the agenda today?” John asked, plopping down across from Rodney at breakfast one morning.

Rodney shrugged a shoulder as he set down his fruit cup. “I’ll probably hang out with Lorne and Chuck this morning, like usual. Then this afternoon, I promised Dr. Tamoura I’d start recording the English version of some Lapran stories. After dinner’s still free if you wanted to do something.”

“Actually, I’m giving Lorne the day off today,” John told him. “I figured he’d like some time to get a few things done. And it’ll give us some time together, since we’ve hardly seen each other since you came back.”

“Well, that’s very thoughtful of you. I wouldn’t want to keep you from anything, though. I know Elizabeth’s always after you to get your paperwork done.”

“Actually, I’m all caught up,” John replied with a smile.

“Okay, then you’re going to help me figure out how to convince Elizabeth that I’m not a threat and that I don’t need Lorne babysitting me – as much as I’ve come to enjoy his company.”

“Maybe if you didn’t spend so much of your time in the control room, she might consider it. It does look a little suspicious, you know.”

“I’m sure it does, but I’ve also come to enjoy Chuck’s company and I don’t want to give that up either. Besides, what else would I do? We both know I’m not going to be allowed back into the science lab.” As John opened his mouth, Rodney added, “You know what I mean. Me being in the anthropology lab is completely different.” He stood. “Well, if you’re ready, let’s go.”

They bussed their trays – John’s still with most of its food on it – and headed to the control room. Chuck looked at John suspiciously when they entered, but Rodney simply shrugged and sat down as Chuck and John greeted each other.

“Where’s Lorne?” Chuck asked as John made himself comfortable.

“Day off,” Rodney replied. “And I think he genuinely deserved it,” he added with a bit of a glare at John.

“Hey, don’t blame me,” John replied, holding his hands up. “If I had anything to do with it, you would’ve been completely reinstated and back on the team as soon as Carson cleared you.”

Chuck quickly and adeptly changed the topic and the morning passed easily enough, though both Chuck and Rodney were a little uncomfortable with John’s presence. Rodney suddenly and acutely was aware of the amount of time he had been gone. As easy as it had been to talk to John before, Rodney felt like the man before him was now a stranger.

When they left to meet with Dr. Tamoura, John said, “I want you to know, I have been talking with Elizabeth to get you your positions back – both on the team and in the labs. But she’s taking her time deciding what she wants to do.”

“Thank you, Colonel,” Rodney replied.

“And,” John lowered his voice, “I was hoping we could pick up where we left off before…” he paused for a moment, “before – you know.”

“I don’t know,” Rodney replied truthfully. “I’m a different person, as I’m sure you are as well. You have to remember that I thought I was going to be with the Laprans for good, Sheppard. I moved on.”

Lorne was waiting for them at the entrance to the anthropology labs and Rodney was surprised at how thankful he was for his presence. “I remembered as I was eating breakfast that I promised I’d help today, since they’ve got a number of people out in the field,” he told them by way of explanation. “I’ll drop him off to you when we’re done, if you want, Colonel,” he told John.

Rodney could feel the weight of John’s gaze for a moment before John turned to Lorne and replied, “Okay. Just radio me when you’re done.”

As they headed into the lab, Lorne told Rodney, “I also made a decision and this seemed like the kind of thing I’d tell you in person. I accept your offer – Lord knows we all need someone to keep us grounded.”

“Great,” Rodney replied with a grin as they sat down at the prepared workstation. “Let me know when you’ve got some free time and we’ll do the ceremony.”

Lorne snorted as he prepped the recorder. “Doc, right now time isn’t an issue.”

“So what’s my part in all of this again?” Chuck asked as he plopped down on Rodney’s desk chair and Lorne sat down gingerly at the foot of the bed.

“You’re here to be our witness,” Rodney told him for the third time. “Now, it’s traditional for the people who are bonding to exchange ear cuffs,” he pointed to the one on his ear, “to show that they’re bound to someone. But I doubt new accessories would be a welcome addition to your uniform, Lorne, so I think we can forego that little detail.”

“Yeah, I can’t see that going over very well,” Lorne commented. “But if you’re already bound to someone, wouldn’t binding to me be sacrilegious or whatever?” Lorne asked, brow furrowing.

Rodney chuckled as he sat down next to Lorne and drew his feet up so he was sitting cross-legged. “I don’t think so. Since I’m going to be here for the foreseeable future, I don’t think they’d have a problem with it and I know Kelly – he’s my bound friend on Lapras – would totally get behind this if he ever finds out about it. So don’t worry about it. Now, as for the ceremony itself – normally before the ceremony, the two people entering into it would meditate and make sure that they are going into this with a clear conscience and not for their own gain, but to be there for each other and to let the other person be there for them. And then, before the ceremony, both participants would take a bath a symbol of their pure intent.”

Lorne laughed. “I’m sorry, Rodney, but it sounds like you got taken in and brainwashed by a bunch of hippies or something. Those are words I’d never thought I’d hear come out of your mouth without a sneer behind them or dripping in sarcasm.”

“I know – and that’s how I felt at first,” Rodney replied. “But the longer I was there, the more I got the reasoning behind it and I got why they did it. They don’t have the time, means, or ability to deal with the negative aspects of human nature, so they do what they can to foster the good side. Not for Ascension’s sake – but out of a sheer need to survive as a people. Huh,” he said, more to himself, before looking up at Lorne and Chuck, who were looking at him curiously. “Their theology is quite different from that of everyone else’s – I don’t remember any of them ever talking about Ascending or the Ancients or anything like that. In fact, their spiritual model was actually a model for how they wanted to live.”

Rodney shook himself out of it and looked at them sheepishly. “Sorry. I don’t know what brought that on, since that would be more relevant to Tamoura than to either of you. So, anyway, I kind of improvised on the whole process. I figured that Lorne would actually seriously consider my offer and wouldn’t agree if he had any misgivings about it. And I set this time, since I know that Lorne would’ve just finished getting a shower – right now out of habit, since the cast is still prohibiting him from running.”

Lorne shook his head. “I’m going to have to remember to be careful what I say around you. I mentioned that to you weeks ago.”

“Okay, let’s get this show on the road,” Rodney said and handed Chuck a piece of paper. “I figured you could also stand in as our officiator, since it felt weird that I would do that and be a participant.”

Chuck scanned the paper. “Rodney, it’s in Lapran.”

Confused, Rodney took the paper back and quickly looked it over. “Oh. Sorry,” he replied sheepishly as he got up and grabbed a pen from his desk to scribble the translation on the bottom half of the page. He handed it back before sitting back down.

“That’s better,” Chuck replied as he read it over. “Are we all set?”

“Yep,” Rodney replied.

“I guess so,” Lorne replied.

Reading off the paper, Chuck said, “We are here today to bind together Major Evan Lorne of Atlantis and Rodney McKay of Atlantis in friendship. This ceremony is to recognize their committed friendship and their desire to support each other in ways that a wife or lover cannot. Lorne, do you promise to support Rodney to the best of your abilities in all areas of his life, to help him through the tough times and celebrate his joys?”

Glancing between Rodney and Chuck, as if he wasn’t sure where to look, Lorne replied, “I do.”

Chuck continued, “Rodney, do you promise to support Lorne to the best of your abilities in all areas of his life, to help him through the tough times and celebrate his joys?”

“I do,” Rodney replied, catching Lorne’s gaze and a smile forming on his lips.

Chuck read aloud, “By your intentions and your words, you are now bonded friends. May it be so for the rest of your lives and may you thrive in each other’s company.”

“So that’s it?” Lorne asked, looking a little confused.

“That’s it,” Rodney affirmed, remembering his own confusion when he and Kelly had bonded. “It really is that simple.” Changing the subject, he said, “I’ve decided that since tomorrow will be a month that I’ve been back, I’m going to ‘storm the castle’ and tell Elizabeth that what she’s doing is insane. I should be allowed back in the labs and Lorne should be allowed to go back to his normal duties.”

“Good luck with that,” Chuck replied, setting the paper on the desk.

“Do you want either of us to come with you?” Lorne asked.

“Well, Chuck technically can’t, since he has to be at his station,” Rodney replied. “But he’ll be right outside, so that’ll be a bit of a comfort. And I would tell you that I can handle Elizabeth on my own and not to bother, but you better come in with me since you’re supposed to be watching me or whatever.”

“Any idea what you’re going to say?” Chuck asked.

“Not a clue,” Rodney replied with a smile. “But I tend to work best that way anyway. You might want to wake up early,” he told Lorne.

True to his word, Rodney stormed into Elizabeth’s office the next morning with Lorne trailing behind him. “This is insane, Elizabeth,” he told her emphatically. “I want to be allowed back in the labs and I want Lorne to be allowed to do his job – which, I might add, does not include watching me.”

Elizabeth leaned back in her chair and held her stylus in both hands. “Good morning to you too, Rodney,” she replied calmly. “I expect a better argument from you than that, you know.”

Rodney crossed his arms and began ticking off, “Let’s see. I’m bored. I’ve been back for a month. I haven’t done anything out of the ordinary that could compromise us *while in the Control room*. Lorne’s bored too, I’m sure. I know you’ve been keeping me out of the labs because you think I’ve been brainwashed and that I’ll do something if I have the equipment at my disposal, but a) aside from the ‘Gate dialers, the Laprans have the technology level of about the twelfth century, b) they *really* don’t care about taking us over, and c) we wouldn’t know unless I’m actually there anyway and, personally, I’d like to know that sort of thing. And if I have been compromised. Lorne’s not going to be of any help with a leg in a cast and needing crutches to get around. Also, I’d like to find that out before it becomes imperative for me to go down there.”

He took a breath and continued on, not wanting to give her a way to derail him, “And I don’t want the head position back. Zelenka can happily keep the job. I just want to be allowed to work. Oh, and have I mentioned the fact that I’m *bored*?”

“I’ll admit,” Elizabeth replied slowly, “that having you be a productive member of the expedition again would be a good thing. But it worries me that you don’t even dress in your Atlantean uniform.”

Rodney looked down at his Lapran clothing, then back up at Elizabeth. “It’s not exactly like I’ve been given a reason to – considering that I’ve been treated by practically everyone as an outsider. If I’m allowed back into the labs, I will gladly wear my Atlantean clothes while I’m in the labs.”

“I would prefer that you finish your work with Dr. Tamoura on Lapras first,” she countered.

“We’re almost done,” Rodney replied. “Two days, tops, I think.”

“How about we schedule a meeting with Radek when you’re finished with Dr. Tamoura and we’ll decide then,” she responded.

“That’s perfect,” Rodney replied. “I think he should be included in this decision – since he is the head of the science department.”

“Okay,” Elizabeth replied with a nod. “Let me know when you’re finished with Dr. Tamoura and we’ll figure out how we want to proceed.”

“All right,” Rodney replied shortly and quickly turned and left, Lorne right on his heels.

“Have you ever thought about being a diplomat?” Lorne asked as they exited the office. “That was insane.”

“That was how I got people to take me seriously when I was a twelve-year-old genius,” Rodney replied as they approached Chuck and Lorne gratefully sat down and propped his leg up. “We’ve got a date to discuss things further,” he told Chuck.

“Congratulations,” Chuck replied with a nod and a smile.

Rodney started pacing and Lorne watched him. “Will you sit down?” he asked.

“Sorry,” Rodney replied, stopping, but not sitting down. “I forgot about the rush I get from doing that. I need to do something.”

“What about your staff?” Lorne asked. “I know you’ve mentioned it a few times. I think the gym’s empty right now.”

“That’s a good idea,” Rodney replied. “Feel like coming with me?”

“I think I’m going to stay right here,” Lorne replied patting his chair and smiling up at Rodney. “But go knock yourself out.”

Rodney headed out and, after quickly grabbing his staff, headed down to the gym. Teyla was occupying the room when he entered, practicing with her bantos sticks.

“Sorry,” Rodney replied when she looked at him. “I’ll come back when you’re done.”

“There’s no need, Rodney,” Teyla replied with a warm smile as she straightened up. “I was just finishing up.” She went off to the side and wiped her forehead with a towel. “I did not know you were proficient with a staff,” she commented as she came over to him and bowed her head.

Rodney touched his forehead to hers and then touched her cheeks with his hands, which made her smile. “It’s something I picked up on Lapras,” he replied by way of explanation.

“And the –?” She touched her cheeks.

Rodney shrugged. “It’s the same as your people’s forehead touching, but there are degrees – a bow for strangers and acquaintances, one hand for friends, two for family and very close friends.”

Teyla smiled widely. “Thank you for sharing. Do you feel like sparring, or would you rather be left alone?”

“Sparring sounds good, actually,” he replied, not sure how he’d fare against her bantos sticks and without having truly practiced for a month, but he was willing to give it a shot.

He followed her into the middle of the room and she turned to face him, a stick in each hand. Rodney easily grasped the staff in both hands, feeling his mind settling. She came at him and Rodney was surprised at how easy it was for him to keep up. He comfortably deflected most of her blows and was able to get in a few hits of his own.

“Very good, Rodney,” she said when they stopped. “Your teacher has done well.”

“Thank you,” he replied, unsure of how to respond. “Uh. So has yours?”

She grinned and Rodney sighed inwardly in relief as the door slid open and John, Ronon, and Darby entered. “Good morning, gentlemen,” Teyla greeted them.

“Morning, Teyla,” John replied. “Rodney.”

“John, Ronon,” Rodney greeted them. “Darby?” he asked, questioningly.

“Good morning, Dr. McKay,” Darby replied with a smile.

“Please, call me Rodney,” he replied. “If you’ve lasted this long on the team, you have to be good.” He heard Ronon chuckle behind him.

“Whenever you’re ready to get back on the team, I’ll gladly cede my place,” Darby told him.

“Thank you,” Rodney replied graciously. “But as of right now, I haven’t decided what I want to do.”

“What?” John asked, shock evident in his voice. “Why not?”

Rodney shrugged. “I don’t know. Besides, I don’t want to disrupt the team again – it’s probably bad for team cohesion or whatever. We can talk about it later – when you guys aren’t getting ready to do whatever you came here for. I’ll see you all later.”

“Would you like to train with us, Rodney?” Teyla asked him. “I think it would be good for all of us.”

Rodney shrugged. “Okay. I doubt I’ll be of much use.”

“Oh, I think you will,” she replied smugly and Rodney was pretty sure she was staging some sort of coup.

Rodney relaxed against a wall as he watched the other men warm up. They had never practiced like this – the four of them – so he figured it must be something new for Darby’s benefit. John and Ronon ran Darby through some hand-to-hand exercises and Rodney felt a pang of regret that he had never done anything like that with them. Not that they had asked or offered, though. Then Teyla took John through a practice with the bantos sticks and Rodney laughed inwardly. He’d been away for three years and John was only marginally better. He supposed that some skills just weren’t translatable.

Darby came over as Teyla and Ronon began sparring – her with the bantos sticks and Ronon with his short staff. “I hope there’s no hard feelings,” he said as they watched.

“For what?” Rodney asked. “Life going on? The team moving forward? I would have expected them to find someone to replace me. So, no – no hard feelings. And I was sincere about not being sure about the team. If you want to keep the position, that’s more than fine with me.”

Darby shrugged. “I haven’t really thought about it either way.”

“I’m assuming you know how to use that thing,” Ronon stated, butting into their conversation and looking at the staff that was leaning against Rodney’s shoulder, held close to his body.

“I think it would be safe to assume that,” Rodney agreed. “Would you like to test that assumption?”

“Love to,” Ronon replied with a wolfish grin.

“Good luck,” Darby replied sympathetically as Rodney followed Ronon out onto the floor.

Rodney took a deep breath and cleared his mind, not wanting to let his past “practices” with Ronon clouding his mind. Ronon came at him with his staff held over his head and clutched in both hands. Rodney easily thwacked him across his torso and Ronon looked slightly surprised that he wasn’t backing away uneasily.

“You shouldn’t leave yourself so open,” Rodney commented, knowing he was baiting Ronon.

Ronon let out a small growl as he came at Rodney again. Rodney enjoyed the ensuing fight. With Kelly, in the back of his mind had always been the careful ‘thrust, stroke, parry’ cadence that had been drilled into Kelly, and everyone else on Lapras. With Ronon, it was more primal, more instinctive, dirtier. And Rodney loved it.

When they finished, Ronon nodded and gave him a grunt of approval. “Good job,” he said and Rodney could hear the approval in his voice as Ronon clapped him on the shoulder.

Rodney looked over at John, who was looking at him, surprised. “What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” John replied with a disbelieving shake of his head. “The Laprans didn’t come across as a people who would fight like that.”

“Oh, believe me, they don’t,” Rodney replied. “They’re very… clean when it comes to their fighting. I’ve just spent too much time with the three of you.”

Changing the subject slightly, John asked, “How do you feel about going through munitions training again?”

Rodney shrugged a shoulder. “Okay, I guess. I probably still won’t be able to hit the broad side of a barn.”

“You were getting better,” John replied, almost defensively. “Darby and I will be down in the range tomorrow, if you want to come along. I think it’ll help your case if you want to get back on the team.”

“Or in general,” Ronon added.

“I’m really not in any rush to make a decision,” Rodney replied, more to John than anyone else in the room. “I’d better get going. We don’t want Elizabeth to start wondering where I’ve wandered off to without Lorne.”

After a quick round of good-byes and a promise to meet for target practice and more hand-to-hand training, Rodney headed back to his room, quickly stowed his staff and cleaned up before heading down to the Control Room.

“You look more relaxed,” Chuck commented when Rodney sat down.

“I feel more relaxed,” Rodney replied with a smile. “Teyla was there when I first got down to the gym and we sparred, then the rest of the team showed up. Ronon and I sparred and it felt really good. And in neither case was I used as a punching bag.”

“Good for you,” Chuck replied with a small laugh.

Rodney felt his smile get a little wider at the sound. He liked hearing Chuck’s laugh. Looking around confused, he asked, “Where’s Lorne?”

“He went to get some breakfast,” Chuck replied. “Something about having just rolled out of bed to help you stage your coup. He should be back any minute.”

As if on cue, Lorne hobbled in on his crutches. “Remind me next time to eat breakfast first,” he said to Rodney.

“You should’ve gone right after we finished,” Rodney replied. “I can tell you from experience low blood sugar is never pleasant – hypoglycemia or not. Do you think Elizabeth noticed us leaving at different times?”

“I don’t think so,” Lorne replied. “I ran into Dr. Tamoura down in the mess hall. She said she has some free time this afternoon for us to go down and finish up.”

“Good,” Rodney nodded. “The sooner I can get back in the labs, the better. Nothing against your stellar company, Chuck, but –”

“I know, I know,” Chuck replied, butting in. “You’re bored. Maybe if you get back to the labs, I can get some work done as well,” he added mischievously.

“I haven’t been interfering in your work,” Rodney replied indignantly.

“No, you haven’t,” Chuck agreed, his tone a little more serious, yet… there was affectionate lilt to it as well.

Chuck glanced at him and smiled and Rodney distinctly got the impression that Chuck was flirting with him. Which Rodney wasn’t ready for. He didn’t *want* to be ready for it. He liked being single. He was planning on staying single. If he was single, then no heartbreak would be involved.

He slowly inhaled a deep breath and let it out just as slowly, hoping neither Chuck nor Lorne had noticed anything out of the ordinary. Glancing between them, he was glad to see that they hadn’t seemed to notice the little private freak out he was having. He took a few more breaths and calmed down.

“I’m going to take a walk,” Rodney said, suddenly making the decision and standing. “Feel like coming with me?” he asked Lorne.

“Sure,” Lorne replied, standing. “Provided we can swing by my quarters so I can get something to read for this afternoon.”

“That’s a feasible option,” Rodney replied. “Can we pick up anything for you, Chuck?”

“Only if you can find a way to get me Tim Horton’s coffee,” Chuck replied.

“Good luck with that,” Lorne replied.

“Maybe we can try to requisition some on the next Daedalus run,” Rodney replied. “In the interim…”

“I’m good,” Chuck replied with a smile.

“What’s with the Tim Horton’s?” Lorne asked as they headed out. “It seems like every Canadian – and a couple Americans – on the expedition is in love with it.”

Rodney laughed. “It’s one of those things that you just have to experience to understand.”

They were quiet on the way to Lorne’s quarters and Rodney was surprised at how comfortable the silence was. He remembered how he used to hate silences and would try to fill them with words to stave off his nervousness, guilt, bad memories – anything unpleasant really. But now he felt calm, peaceful. And it made it easier for him to think.

And, naturally, his thoughts turned to Chuck. *Had* Chuck been flirting with him just now? Had he been flirting with him all along and Rodney just hadn’t noticed? Rodney thought back over the past month. And he came up with nothing aside from a normal everyday developing friendship. Of course there were moments that *could* be described as flirtatious, but they were stand-alone moments and strewn along sporadically. This definitely wasn’t a planned attack, if it was one at all.

He inwardly rolled his eyes at himself. He knew there was nothing wrong with flirting and that nine times out of ten nothing would ever come of it anyway. Besides, the only other person Chuck even quasi-flirted with was Lorne – and it was possible that he did it even more with Lorne than with Rodney.

Rodney sighed audibly. He needed to meditate and clear his head so he could sort this out and figure out what boundaries he wanted to set so that he wouldn’t be tripped up every time someone did something as innocuous as smile at him.

“Are you okay?” Lorne asked.

“Yeah, why?” Rodney replied.

“That was some sigh. Plus, I’m still getting used to the ‘new you’. If I can’t figure out what to make of you, they’re going to have a hell of a time with you down in the labs.”

Rodney laughed. “I hadn’t thought of that. But I was just thinking about nothing in particular. Are you okay?”

Lorne sort of shrugged. “For the most part. I’m trying to figure out if I want to take the next step in this sorta-kinda-maybe relationship I’m in.”

“Good for you,” Rodney replied with a grin. “Can I get some details?”

“Not yet,” Lorne replied with a small, happy smile – seemingly pleased at Rodney’s approval. “Things are still too new and not anywhere definite yet.”

“Well, whenever you’re ready, I’m here for you.”

“I know,” Lorne replied as they entered his quarters. “And I appreciate it. Everything’s just a little too new right now – this relationship, the thing with you. I’m still trying to process all of it.”

Rodney looked around Lorne’s quarters, as he did every time he went in there, while he waited for him to get what he wanted. There were a few homey touches to the place – a few pictures – mostly of or with other expedition members, a quilt on the bed, a laptop and a stack of DVDs on the desk, and books and comic books on most of the other available surfaces.

“I knew you read a lot, but I think your books are starting to breed like rabbits,” he commented.

Lorne laughed. “I think you’re right. Most of these I’ve promised to other people, though, so that should help clear out a little bit of space… at least until the next book delivery that’s coming on the next Daedalus runs. We get one about every six months.” He finally picked a couple of books and, after hobbling over to the door, handed them to Rodney, who gladly took them. “How’s lunch sound?”

“I could do lunch,” Rodney replied with a nod.

After hitting the mess hall, they headed down to the anthropology labs and Dr. Tamoura warmly greeted them. Seating them at one of the workstations, she said, “Depending on how today goes, we might actually be able to finish today. Although, Rodney, we may want to ask further questions of you at some point in the future, if that’s all right.”

“Fine with me,” Rodney replied with a nonchalant shrug.

Once she set up a recording device, Tamoura continued asking him questions about Lapras, its people, and their customs. Rodney would slip into Lapran from time to time when the English would fail to convey what he wanted to say and Lorne would automatically say ‘English,’ without looking up from his book, to Tamoura’s amusement and Rodney’s frustration.

When they finished, she said, “Okay, I think we’re done for now. Thank you so much for what you’ve done for us, Dr. McKay.”

“I think you can call me Rodney by now,” he replied, standing. “Considering you haven’t done it the past five times I’ve told you so. And I’ve enjoyed doing it.”

As they headed out, Lorne commented, “You know, considering that we’re bound friends now or whatever, are you going to start calling me Evan?”

“I might,” Rodney replied. “Do you want me to?” he asked almost shyly.

“It would be nice,” Lorne replied. “Especially considering I get Lorne from everyone else.”

“I’ll do my best,” Rodney replied.

When Chuck sat down across from them at dinner, he asked, “So? How much longer does the Anthropology Department have you?”

“We just finished, actually,” Rodney replied. “So I’ll need you tomorrow again, Evan.”

“I figured,” Evan replied with a smile as he salted his potatoes. Looking over at Chuck, he said, “You know, I think you’re the only person I’ve met who likes mustard with his potatoes. Is that normal behavior, Rodney?”

Rodney shrugged. “I don’t know about completely normal, but I’ve seen worse things – especially with Ronon. Besides, you put ketchup on rice, so I doubt you’re one to talk.”

That evening, the three of them went back to Evan’s room and watched one of the new comedies Chuck had just gotten his hands on. Rodney enjoyed the movie, but he enjoyed the company even more. He was glad he had been able to find someone to be his bound friend and someone else to –. Rodney quickly shut down that train of thought, not wanting to finish it to its natural, seemingly inevitable conclusion.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. He didn’t want to fall in love again. He couldn’t *afford* to fall in love again. Two heartbreaks due to circumstances beyond anyone’s control was a clear enough sign that he wasn’t meant to be with anyone and he was more than happy to comply. And screw ‘the third time’s the charm’ crap. At the rate things were going, it would be him next and he’d end up taking other people with him. There was no way he was going to allow that.

He tried to console himself with the thought that his relationships with John and Jaelyn would have inevitably deteriorated. But, deep down, it felt like a very hollow argument.

The next morning, Rodney, Radek, and Elizabeth met in her office to discuss the terms of his return to the science labs. Evan was also present, with a large cup of coffee and a couple of books.

“First off,” Rodney started, “I don’t want the Head of Sciences position back. One disruption of leadership is more than enough, I’m sure. Secondly, I’m not looking for *any* leadership position. I just want to be able to do research and work on the projects I had originally started – if that’s possible.”

“Are you sure?” Radek asked, suspiciously. “Because I will be happy to hand it back over.”

“Yes, I am serious. And I know I never told you this before, Radek, but you’re an amazing scientist. And you deserve the position as much as I do.”

Radek looked shocked. “Well… thank you.”

Elizabeth butted in and said, “I’m still a bit concerned that you may have been brainwashed without your knowledge and it won’t activate until you’re in the labs.”

“Then have Lorne keep guarding me,” Rodney replied indignantly. “But, believe me – the Laprans are as stragithforward as the Athosians – if not moreso. They didn’t do anything to make me a threat. This is highly out of character for you, Elizabeth.”

“I’m sorry if I seem paranoid, Rodney,” Elizabeth conceded. “But as I’m sure you’re aware, I’m simply trying to look out for the safety of everyone in this expedition.”

“I have no problems with Rodney being allowed back in the lab at whatever capacity he desires,” Radek replied. “If nothing else, an extra set of hands and someone who understands the science would be a blessing.”

“How about a trial period of some kind?” Rodney asked.

“Okay,” Elizabeth replied. “I’m willing to let you back in the lab if you promise to work at a station in full view of the room, Lorne will stay with you, you must routinely update Radek on the progress of your work, and work reasonable hours – no more all-nighters or 36 hour shifts unless we’re under attack, understood?”

“That’s fair,” Rodney replied. “And I’m willing to agree to that.”

“I will agree as well,” Radek replied.

“Good. If, after a month, if Radek feels that there are no problems, you’ll be a free man. You can start on Monday. If there’s nothing else, I’m willing to adjourn.”

Both Radek and Rodney shook their heads and stood and Evan slowly stood up.

“Rodney,” Elizabeth said, stopping him before he reached Evan. “John told me of his intentions to start you on munitions training again. I have agreed, but for the time being, you will not be authorized to carry a firearm.”

As Rodney opened his mouth to voice his displeasure, Evan touched his arm. “Okay, fine,” he replied in a huff. “Is that all?”

At her nod, he turned and left, Evan keeping pace with him this time. When they got outside her office, Rodney let out another frustrated huff. “In the long run, I don’t really care,” he said, “because I’ve got my staff. I’m more upset that she feels that I’d be a threat there as well.”

“At least she’s letting you do it,” Evan replied.

“True,” Rodney replied. “And I have a feeling I’m about to start my first lesson,” he commented when he saw John coming over to them.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, Rodney found himself down in the shooting range with a gun in his hands and a few paper targets set up a few yards away. He listened carefully as John went through the instructions, feeling that John was starting him over at the beginning level again.

When John let him loose on the targets, Rodney surprised even himself by not only hitting each of the targets, but giving them serious wounds. John had him go through everything a few times with both a nine-millimeter and a P-90 to make sure it wasn’t a fluke, and each time Rodney had the same results.

“And you’re sure the Laprans don’t have *any* firepower?” John asked dubiously.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Rodney replied, rolling his eyes. “Believe me, I’m as surprised as you are.”

Taking the P90 from Rodney, John joked, “Keep this up and we could turn you into a sharpshooter.”

“What would you need – oh, very funny, ha ha, Colonel,” Rodney responded sarcastically. “Will I have to learn how to build and break down a gun in five seconds?”

“Maybe,” John replied as he finished cleaning up. “Are you doing okay?” he asked during their walk back to Rodney’s quarters. “Settling in okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s an adjustment, but I’m dealing.”

“So when will you be starting back in the labs?”

“On Monday, so I’ve got a couple days to wait still.” Changing the subject, he said, “So how’ve you been? Are you seeing anyone?”

John hitched a shoulder. “I’ve been okay. And I’m not seeing anyone. After you…” He paused. “I haven’t found anyone else.” Looking up and down the deserted hall, he asked, “Are you sure there’s no way we could…?”

“I doubt it,” Rodney replied sympathetically. “I had to move on to keep my sanity and I think you need to as well.”

“What if there’s –?”

Breaking him off, Rodney said, “Space bimbos aside, I know for a fact that there’s someone out there for you. It just isn’t me.”

John looked at him dubiously as they entered a transporter, but didn’t comment any further. And when they exited, John followed him back to his quarters and inside.

“What are you doing?” Rodney asked him as the door closed, his eyes narrowing.

“I need to know what the hell’s going on, McKay,” John told him, his voice heated. “You’re acting like nothing happened – like you went for a walk, instead of disappearing for three years. Why aren’t you more upset by it?”

“Maybe because I didn’t have the luxury to be?” Rodney replied, bitingly. “As far as I knew, I was stuck there – *forever*. I know what the policies are for people who are captured or stranded. I know what resources the Expedition has at its disposal. And even though I know that you have a weird suicidal streak to make sure no man gets left behind, I knew that in time even you would have to stop looking for me – either because Elizabeth made you or even you had to realize the futility of what you were doing. Does Colonel Sumner ring any bells?” Rodney knew his voice was rising in pitch and anger, but there was no way he could stop it.

“Did you find someone while you were on Lapras?” John asked.

“What?” Rodney asked, confused at the change in subject.

“Did. You. Find. Someone?” John enunciated.

“Yes, I did,” Rodney replied. “But it was after I had been there for three cycles – two and a half years. By then I could only assume that there was no way I’d be coming back to Atlantis. And it wasn’t like I woke up one day and decided, ‘Oh, I think I’m going to get a girlfriend today.’”

“I was still looking for you, even then,” John admitted, sounding a little sad and deflated. “I had hoped –,” he cut himself off. “Why didn’t you believe that I’d be able to find you?”

“*Because you hadn’t come yet*,” Rodney told him emphatically, advancing on John. “Believe me, this has nothing to do with your abilities, or your masculinity, or your apparently undying love for me. I’m a pragmatist, John – you know that. I *had* to make do with what I had and the truths that I was confronted with at that point. As far as I knew, I was going to be stuck on Lapras for the rest of my life.” He poked John in the chest on the last few words to make his point. “And at first I hated it – I wanted to come back *so badly*. I was angry and hurt that you hadn’t come to rescue me. I had hoped for that – that you and Teyla and Ronon would come barging in to rescue me. But when I realized that I wasn’t going to come back, I *made* myself move forward.”

John took hold of Rodney’s shirt as if holding on for his life. “What am I supposed to do now?” he asked quietly, his voice grief-stricken. “I waited for you for *three* *years*. Every waking moment was devoted to finding you and bringing you home. How am I supposed to just let that go as if I decided to play golf instead of read?”

“I don’t know,” Rodney told him gently as he brought his hands up to cover John’s and gently extricated himself from John’s grip. Touching wasn’t supposed to be an option. “I don’t know how to help you, but you do need help. You have to let your love for me go, John.”

His hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, John replied, “I don’t think I can do that, Rodney,” and left Rodney’s quarters.

Rodney sank down onto his bed, unsure of what had just happened and where that left them.

As Rodney headed into the mess hall, he spotted Chuck and Evan without them seeing him. He smiled when he saw they were hunched over a chessboard, his fight with John forgotten. They were evenly matched, so he knew they would be at it for a while. He grabbed a bottle of water and an apple before heading over to them. He saw Chuck, intent on the game, smile and laugh at something Evan said before making a move and Rodney felt his heart skip a beat.

Rodney shook his head to clear it. He hated this. He didn’t want to be in love, didn’t want a crush, an infatuation, to be in a schoolgirl-ish daze. He wanted to be over love and romance and to just get on with his life.

Chuck looked up, past Evan and spotted Rodney and his smile widened into a grin as he waved Rodney over. Rodney went, a thin smile on his face, thinking that the Fates must have it in for him.

“Care to join me for some sparring once we finish breakfast?” Teyla asked Rodney the next morning at breakfast. “It’ll be just us.”

“Sure,” Rodney replied. “Though, I didn’t mind the others being there too.”

Teyla smiled. “I think the other day was good for all of us.”

“But…?” Rodney could hear it in her voice.

“But nothing,” she replied, putting down her tea. “I simply wish to spend time with you, Rodney.”

“All right.”

After hitting his quarters so Rodney could retrieve his staff, they hit the gym. They went through their own warm-up exercises, which Rodney noticed were surprisingly similar and comforting. This time, when they sparred, Teyla seemed to be truly testing him after seeing what he could do with her before, and also what he had done with Ronon. But the pushing felt good – like something he’d always wanted to do with Kelly, but something that Kelly had never understood.

“You’re doing quite well,” she said when they took a break. “From the bits you have mentioned, the Laprans seem to be a very peaceful people.”

“They are,” Rodney replied, taking a drink of water. “I think that a lot of their staff training is more symbolic and a way to honor the past. The rest I’m inferring from what I’ve seen you and Ronon do – as well as from the movies John’s had us watch.”

“Good for you. You always were highly adaptable to your surroundings.” She paused for a moment, as if weighing her words. “It’s surprised me that you haven’t completely changed back since returning home.”

Rodney shrugged as he sat down. “I can’t explain it, Teyla. While I was there…” he trailed off and shook his head. “It was the first time in a long time – maybe ever – that I felt like I was actually home. And I can’t – I ca-.” He shook his head again, before looking away and blinking rapidly.

He sensed more than saw Teyla sit down next to him and put a hand on his back. Rodney wrapped his arms around himself and cried for the first time since he’d returned – and probably for the first time since Jaelyn’s death.

When he finished, he wiped his eyes and sniffed. “Thanks,” he said. “I think I needed that.”

“Any time,” Teyla replied. “And I think you do an honor to your Lapran family with how you remember them.”

“Thank you,” he told her, sincerely.

“You’re welcome,” she replied. “There is nothing wrong with being sad when you’re separated from someone you love. But don’t keep yourself from forming attachments here.”

“How did you – I haven’t –” Rodney sputtered before stopping and looking at her confused.

She looked at him fondly. “I doubt you’ve changed *that* much, Rodney. I know you have a tendency to wall yourself off until you’re forced to open up. It’s not good for you.”

Rodney laughed. “That sounds like something Kirby would say.”

Standing, Teyla said, “Think about it, Rodney. I do not want you to be lonely or alone. I think that’ll be all for today.”

“Do you think we could do this regularly?” Rodney asked as he also stood.

“Of course. We practice as a team every other Friday and you are certainly welcome to join us. If you’re not comfortable with that, both Ronon and I would be happy to spar with you. And I’m sure John would as well.”

Rodney nodded, not wanting to mention that he didn’t know where he and John stood at the moment. “Thanks again, Teyla.” He touched her cheeks with his hands, then touched his forehead to hers before leaving.

The truth was, he didn’t want to be cut off from people anymore. He had found that he enjoyed being around other people. He knew that it would be hard, however because while the Laprans were more physically reserved, they were a very warm people. The Earthers, on the other hand, tended to be just the opposite until you got to know them. He just wished he knew how to get past that, along with the perceptions people had of him, either from knowing him personally or his reputation.

Rodney came to a split-second decision. If he had any hope of moving on, he was going to have to tell Chuck of his feelings for him which would, in turn, get him shot down. He was reasonably certain they would still be friends, even if their relationship would take a step or two back for a while. It was brilliant. And it should be fail-proof.

As he walked, he began quietly going over what he was going to say to Chuck, but nothing sounded quite right. He sensed someone coming along side him, but didn’t pay any attention, his eyes fixed straight ahead so he could concentrate. But the other person kept pace.

After a moment, Chuck interrupted by saying, “So you like me, then?” sounding both surprised and amused.

Rodney’s head snapped to the side, to see the amused look on Chuck’s face. This wasn’t good.

“I – uh – oh – I – uh,” Rodney sputtered as he stopped walking. He took a deep breath. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Chuck replied, stopping as well, his tone pure amusement now. “So…”

“Uh, yeah. That was pretty much it,” Rodney replied, sheepishly.

“Okay,” Chuck replied with a nod and a tap on the shoulder with a folder. “I’ve got to run, but I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay,” Rodney replied with a nod, watching him walk off.

He wanted to hit his head against the wall and for a moment seriously considered it before sighing and continuing on again. That went *really* well and didn’t have any conclusion at all. This was insane.

He should have talked it over with Evan. That’s what bound friends were for – to help figure out problems and give support. If Rodney had been smart about it and done that, he wouldn’t be in this awkward position. He sighed, knowing it was better that Chuck had heard him and not one of the random grunts, but….

“I just said something stupid,” he said as he went into Evan’s office and sat down opposite him.

“What did you say?” Evan asked, looking up from his paperwork. “If you called someone a moron, I would tell you that your restraint’s remarkable and I’m surprised it’s taken you this long.”

Rodney let out a bark of a laugh. “No, sadly. Though I’m sure someone here deserves it. I told Chuck something I wasn’t quite ready for him to hear. And he was surprised, but it seems hopeful that he doesn’t hate me.”

“Well, that’s good,” Evan replied, leaning back in his chair. “May I ask what you told him?”

“You can, but I’m not going to repeat it,” Rodney responded.

“Okay. I don’t know what to say, then. Are we all still going to be friends when we see him for dinner?”

“I hope so. I think so.”

“Good. How did practice with Teyla go?”

“Good.” Rodney smiled. “It felt good to be sparring again. Maybe once your leg’s healed we could do some sparring?” He looked at Evan hopefully.

“That sounds great,” Evan replied with a nod. “I’ll need something to help get me back in shape. All this enforced laziness is starting to get to me.”

“On the upside, you only have another week and a half until the cast comes off. I doubt it’ll be long after that before you’re back at full speed.”

Evan fiddled with his stylus. “I certainly hope so. I miss just going for a run. It’s weird the little things you miss when they get taken from you.”

“I know what you mean.” Rodney slouched down in the chair. “I miss darchnans – they’re a fruit on Lapras that are kind of a cross between an apple and an apricot and they make a good sort of applesauce. And I used to laugh at them for how they did certain things, but I miss that too.”

Evan nodded. “I’m sure it’s hard. And if you ever want to talk about it – let me know, okay?”

“I will,” Rodney replied. “It’s just hard, sometimes. I know you know things from hearing me talking with Tamoura, and that covers a lot of ground, but there are so many things that have a certain…” He paused, trying to think of the right word, “…nuance to them that it’s hard to describe unless you actually know what I’m talking about.” He sighed. “I’d love to take you there so you can meet everyone and experience it all, but I doubt Elizabeth will let me go back by myself for a visit, let alone with someone else.”

“Just keep hoping. I’m sure that one day you’ll get back there. And who knows, maybe both Chuck and I will be with you.” Evan gave Rodney a sheepish look. “I hate to do this, but I have to kick you out or I’m not going to get these reports done in time. I’ll see you at dinner?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you at dinner,” Rodney replied as he stood.

Leaving Evan’s office, he felt a little better, even if he was nowhere near a conclusion. But he still could feel his stomach clenching up in knots and he didn’t like it. Rodney headed back to his room and settled cross-legged on his bed. He closed his eyes and breathed slowly, centering himself as Kirby had taught him.

He figured that the upside of the situation was that Chuck hadn’t made a huge deal out of the whole thing. If it was, Rodney was sure that Chuck’s two main emotions wouldn’t have been surprise and amusement. He knew that the ball was out of his court until he saw Chuck again and was able to get an actual answer from him.

He really hoped he hadn’t damaged their relationship beyond repair. Chuck had been a great friend to him since his return and he didn’t want to lose that.

But what if Chuck said yes? Rodney had been so intent on the opposite answer that he didn’t think of the other possible outcome. If that was the case, he hoped that he could convince Chuck he had only done it to get over him and that Chuck would still like him after that. He sighed as he opened his eyes. This was going to suck until he knew what Chuck thought.

Rodney slowed when he heard Chuck’s voice coming from just around the next corner. “I feel bad because it wasn’t intentional. I didn’t mean to –.”

“Don’t beat yourself up, Chuck,” Evan replied and Rodney stopped all together. “You know how love and all that can be.”

There was a pause before Chuck sighed. “The thing is – if you and I weren’t together,” they both chuckled, “together-ish, or whatever this is, I could see myself going out with him. He’s a great guy.”

Deciding he’d heard enough, Rodney quickly burst around the corner. “Oh, hi,” he said, pulling himself up short and feigning surprise at seeing them. “I was just on my way to see if Evan was ready, but it looks like you both are. So. Great.”

“Yep, here we are,” Chuck replied. “I was able to get out a little early tonight.”

As they headed down to the mess hall, Rodney said, “I wanted to apologize for earlier today, Chuck. My behavior was out of line and I know better than to handle the situation the way I did.”

“Apology accepted,” Chuck answered as they entered the mess.

Dinner went as smoothly as if nothing untoward had happened. Rodney breathed an inward sigh of relief that maybe things would be okay and that Chuck was going to rebuff him by simply not acknowledging Rodney’s disclosure. He could deal with that.

When they finished eating, Chuck said, “I’m sorry, guys, but I’ve got to run. I promised Miko I’d help her with some equipment calibrations,” and quickly left.

“Well, then,” Evan said in his wake. “What do you feel like doing tonight? Movie? Chess? For me to leave you alone?”

Rodney laughed. “Chess sounds good. You’ll have to be easy on me, though. I haven’t played in four cycles.”

“From what I’ve heard, you were quite a player. Maybe now you’ll be on my level. Chess is something I’ve picked up only since coming to Atlantis.”

Rodney bussed their trays and commandeered a chess set. He took command of setting up the pieces and then turned the board so Evan could go first.

After moving a white pawn forward three spaces, Evan said, “You know that kind-of, sort-of relationship I told you about?”

Rodney nodded as he moved one of his own pawns. “How’s it going?”

“It’s coming.” Evan looked around the half-full mess hall. “I’m kind-of sort-of seeing Chuck.”

“Good for you,” Rodney replied casually, surprised he was able to pull it off. But inside, he was kicking himself.

With what he’d seen over the past month and the recently overheard conversation, it made a lot of sense. There had always been a fair amount of casual touching between the two of them, along with some faint innuendo.

“How long have you two been seeing each other?” he asked as he made his next move.

“We started just before you came back. But I’ll admit that I’d been carrying a crush for a while before that.” There’s nothing really definite about it yet, though. Just a bit of mutual attraction and a curiosity to see where it goes.” He made his move. “I thought you should know.”

“Thanks,” Rodney replied as he considered the board. Part of him wished he could escape. Today was just not his day. For the first time in a long time, he wished for a restart button.

After they finished, Rodney walked Evan back to his quarters.

“No hard feelings?” Evan asked as they stopped outside.

“Why would there be?” Rodney asked, confused.

Evan looked sheepish before admitting, “Chuck told me what you said earlier.”

Rodney laughed. “Why would I be upset at something I have no control over? It’s not like we’re in a contest for him or anything. Besides, I get the need to be discreet with your military’s weird protocols on homosexual relationships. It’s better to be safe than sorry, even out here.”

Evan laughed. “You sound like Sheppard. Not long after you went MIA, he sent out a memo to everyone saying that he didn’t care what we did with who, as long as we didn’t do anything stupid.”

“And how did that go over?” Rodney asked, curious, as he followed Evan inside.

Evan shrugged. “For the most part the response was ‘Whatever’, because we were already doing whatever we wanted anyway – considering we’re in another galaxy. But we like having the actual carte blanche to do it. There were a few people who weren’t too pleased with it, but Sheppard told them they could either shape up or ship out on the next Daedalus run. And a couple did.”

“How did it go over with the people back on Earth?” Rodney asked as he sat down at Evan’s desk.

Evan shrugged as he sat down on his bed and eased his leg up onto it. “The guys who shipped out only said they found they weren’t as compatible here as they thought. Because they knew, or at least feared, that they’d get some sort of backlash if they tried outing anyone. Besides, Sheppard’s memo included general fraternization too, not just gay sex.”

“And they knew they’d be opening a huge can of worms if they did,” Rodney replied more to himself than to Evan.

“Right,” Evan replied. “Even if they didn’t like that Sheppard actually said what everyone had been thinking all along, they were still loyal to the expedition. One or two did come back after they got their heads out of their asses and realized it wasn’t going to be a free-for-all. In the day-to-day, not much has changed. Everyone’s still careful because you never know what might happen.”

“How did Elizabeth take Sheppard’s memo?”

Evan shrugged. “I don’t know. I never heard anything, so your guess is as good as mine. It didn’t get retracted or amended, so I’m guessing either she knew about it beforehand and/or agreed with him. You know she’s been with the expedition from the very beginning, so I think she sees the sense in it.”

Rodney nodded in agreement. “It would have only been a matter of time anyway, all things considered. Especially since there are some of us who are never going back to Earth.”

“Yeah. I don’t know what they’re going to do if they actually have to explain it to Woolsey or the IOA or whoever, but I know I’ll back them up.” He laughed and when Rodney raised a quizzical eyebrow, he said, “I don’t know what made me think of it, but a day or two after Sheppard sent out the memo, Dr. Z sent out an email saying that if he found anyone taking issue with the memo, they would have cold showers until they were able to clear their heads and make a decision. I had always assumed that you and he were joking when you threatened that, but I heard from some of the guys that he actually did it to one of the newer grunts. But the guy never owned up to it and never complained.”

Rodney snorted. “We don’t make idle threats. When there’s only so much you can do to keep people in line, you’ve got to be ready to carry out your threats. What did he decide?”

“He stayed on and hasn’t caused any trouble.”

“You know, I think this is the most I’ve heard you talk in a long time.”

“I don’t usually talk unless I’ve got something to say, Doc. You should know that by now.”

“Is that part of your training or something?”

“Maybe,” Evan replied with a chuckle.

“I should go,” Rodney replied. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Major.”

“Good night, Doc,” Evan answered with a warm smile.

Rodney sighed when he got out into the hallway. It would figure that Evan and Chuck would be together. This was why he didn’t want to get into another relationship – there were too many pitfalls. A part of him wished that Atlantis had something like Lapras – where they had a matchmaker to set people up. It would make things so much easier.

Besides, he *really* didn’t need anyone at the moment anyway. It had only been a month and a half since Jaelyn’s death and, truth be told, her loss still hurt. And he was surprised it had only been a month and a half. With everything that had gone on with John, Teyla, and Ronon showing up on Lapras and then bringing him back to Atlantis, and everything that had gone on here, it seemed like it had been much longer.

But he was happy for Chuck and Evan, he really was. He knew how hard it was for anyone here to find love; his own relationship with Sheppard was a testament to that. Rodney felt bad about brushing Sheppard off the way he had; the man had given him a wide open shot at trying again and he had shot him down without even considering it, telling him he had moved on and that was the end of it. But was it?

As Rodney entered his quarters, he thought back fondly on the time he had spent with Sheppard. It had been good, but now…. Now there was nothing there romantically. He could see, given time, becoming good friends with him again, but he doubted he’d be able to fall in love with him again. He had changed enough that he doubted the things he had once wanted in a lover would be the things he wanted now.

Settling cross-legged on the floor with his back against his bed, Rodney decided to do a ‘what if?’ meditation session. Kirby hadn’t done them often with him, but at times it had helped him sort out what he was feeling and then deal with whatever problem was at hand. This time it was what he wanted in a relationship, if the universe did, in fact, have a sick sense of humor and wanted to pair him with someone. Rodney was nothing if not a pragmatist and he could see where this was heading. Sooner or later, he would have to deal with a relationship of some kind and he got the feeling that saying no was not an option.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. So, physically: brown or black hair, eye color didn’t matter, within a few inches either way of his own height, sturdy build, some muscles, either male or female. He had realized on Lapras that his blonde bombshell fantasy was a cover he had developed for the outside world. But it was one he was willing to keep on standby, just in case. You never knew when it would come in handy. Mentally: while he knew he’d never find someone who didn’t have an IQ equal to his own, as long as they could follow his conversations and not ask completely stupid questions, he could deal. He’d also found that a sense of humor was practically a must.

He sighed and opened his eyes. Obliterating his cover meant that he would be a match for practically everyone on Atlantis – a couple of scientists, a few grunts, and the botany department aside. At least now he would be somewhat more ready for whatever Fate threw at him in the love department.

Undressing, Rodney got in the shower, determined to push all thoughts of relationships and other people out of his head. As he closed his eyes and put his face under the spray, an unbidden image of Chuck and Evan together popped into his head. From the way Evan had talked, Rodney doubted they had gone very far, but, after so much disuse, his imagination flared to life. At the first image of the two of them together – fully clothed and kissing, at first hesitantly, and then with increasing hunger and vigor – his cock stirred and then began hardening in earnest. Rodney punched the wall. This was so not fair.

Squeezing his eyes even tighter shut, he leaned his forehead against the wall and took a couple of deep breaths. And nothing happened. His body’s interest was still very definitely there and the image of Chuck and Evan was going nowhere.

After taking another deep breath, Rodney slowly reached down and gently wrapped his hand around the base of his cock. He began slowly stroking his cock, letting the fantasy play out however it wanted. The fantasy didn’t go beyond Chuck and Evan kissing and caressing each other, but it was the hottest thing Rodney had seen in a long time. They were beautiful together, Rodney couldn’t deny that.

But soon – too soon – his body took over and he could only focus on the feel of his hand on his cock and how good it felt to touch himself. When he came, he came hard and for a few long moments afterwards, he could only stand with his head against the wall, sputtering under the spray of water and gulping down water-laced lungfuls of air. He wasn’t sure how he was going to face Chuck and Evan after this and be able to look them in the eye.

Rodney quickly finished his shower on autopilot and when he got out burrowed himself in bed, not wanting to deal with anything or anyone else today. He wasn’t supposed to be physically attracted to his bound friend. With Kelly, he could understand the psychology behind it – he’d been nice to him, they spent a lot of time together, Rodney’s subconscious thought of him as a safe target, blah, blah, blah.

But Evan – Evan was a completely different story. Sure, he shared a lot of those qualities with Kelly – that was part of the reason why Rodney had asked him to be his bound friend. But, if Rodney was honest with himself – Chuck did as well. He sighed.

Since he was being completely honest with himself, he figured he should actually admit that they reminded him of Jaelyn and John too. The general physical similarities aside, they made him feel like he mattered as a person – not just for his genius or what he could do. They made him feel real, like he really was here and alive and that he really mattered and his friendship was enough for them. And he was grateful for that.

Rodney fell asleep wishing there was a way he could tell them that.

Sunday came and went with Rodney not seeing Chuck all day. When he asked Evan about it, Evan shrugged and said he had no clue what was going on.

During the afternoon, Rodney went down to the infirmary with Evan while he had his leg checked. While one of the nurses examined Evan, Rodney wandered back to Carson’s office. He gently knocked on the doorjamb and Carson looked up from his work and grinned.

“Rodney, it’s good to see you, lad,” he said. “Please, come in. How are you doing?”

“I’m doing all right,” Rodney replied as he went in and sat down. “How are you?”

“I’m doing fair enough. I’m afraid I’m not much farther long in my research than when you left.” He sighed. “You know what it’s like. It seems as though I make one breakthrough and that adds to my questions instead of lessening them.”

Rodney chuckled and nodded. “Very true.” There was a slight pause. “But you really are doing okay, right?”

Carson rolled his eyes. “I’m *fine*, Rodney. You’re the last person I’d expect to worry about me.”

“I know, but I heard what happened and if I had been here, then maybe –”

“Then maybe it would have been avoided completely. Or it could have been much worse.” Carson shrugged. “There’s no way to know and you know that. At least I’m alive, still have all of my faculties, even if a couple are slightly reduced, and I can stay here. But I’m glad you’re back, even if I’ve hardly seen you since I cleared you from the infirmary. I would have figured you’d be in here every day worrying about something or other.”

This time it was Rodney’s turn to shrug. “I guess I figured that if it didn’t kill me in the four cycles I was on Lapras, it wasn’t going to suddenly kill me when I returned. I missed you while I was gone.”

“I missed you too,” Carson replied, looking a little confused as to where that had come from.

“I just thought you’d like to know that. And I know I’ve never been good at verbalizing my feelings or communicating with others.” They both chuckled at that truth. “I hope we can be friends again?”

“Always,” Carson replied with a nod.

“Good. So, how about dinner tomorrow night?”

Carson chuckled warmly. “I heard they were letting you back in the labs tomorrow. Will anyone even see you?”

“I take offense at that,” Rodney replied, trying to sound indignant. “Elizabeth is only allowing me to have reasonable hours in the labs unless it’s an emergency and Lorne will be tagging along to make sure I do as she says.”

“And what Elizabeth says has stopped you when?”

“Well, true,” Rodney sniffed. “But considering everything that’s happened, I’m thinking of lying low and following orders for once.”

“I think Hell just froze over. But I’d say you’re a wise man, Rodney McKay. So, shall I come down and fetch you for dinner, then?”

Rodney shook his head. “Knowing Lorne, we’ll be out of there at a reasonable dinner-time hour, if Radek doesn’t kick us out first. So we’ll meet you in the mess-hall at about 18:30?”

“Sounds good to me,” Carson replied with a nod.

Evan appeared in the doorway and said to Rodney, “I’m all set and ready whenever you are. Hey, Doc.”

“Good afternoon, Major Lorne,” Carson replied with a nod. “All set to get that cast off in a couple weeks?”

“You have no idea,” Evan replied with a grin as Rodney stood.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Carson,” Rodney said.

“Have a good afternoon, you two,” Carson replied.

“Feel like taking a walk?” Rodney asked.

“Where to?” Evan replied.

Rodney shrugged. “Anywhere. I just don’t feel like sitting.”

“Sure. How about out to one of the piers?”

“Okay. You pick which one you think you can manage getting to, because I’m not hauling your ass back here.”

Evan laughed as they set out. Rodney enjoyed the walk out and back and it felt good to have the sun on his face for a while. He was still re-acclimating to the sounds of the ocean and realized he missed the sounds of the sandstorms.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Evan said on the way back.

Rodney shrugged as he replied, “Just thinking. It’s weird the things you miss sometimes – like I hated the sounds of the sandstorms at first. The rushing winds, the constant scraping of the sand as it pelted the sides of the tent, the complete silence when they stopped. Then I got used to them – after four cycles, I’d think you’d have to. But now that I’m back here, the ocean sounds weird – even after the four cycles and change I was here before….” He trailed off, not sure how to describe his time there. It wasn’t exactly captivity, but it wasn’t a vacation either.

“And you’ll get used to the ocean again,” Evan replied, his tone sympathetic. “Things change and we’re pretty adaptable. It’s a fact of life.”

“I know,” Rodney replied. “But it’s hard. I see how much life has moved on here and I feel like I’m where I was when I left. I don’t know how to handle it or where I fit in or –”

Evan stopped and looked at him. “Take a deep breath, Doc.” Rodney stopped as well and did what he was told. “Now look at me.” When Rodney’s gaze met his own, Evan said, “It’s going to take time. I’m sure you didn’t fit in with the Laprans right away, right? It’s the same here.” He smiled reassuringly. “But at least with us, you have a leg up and you already know our language, our culture, and most of us.”

“Yeah, but I have to deal with the fact that most of you know me. And dealing with that when I’m not that person anymore can be a lot harder than learning a language and a culture.”

“I’m sure tomorrow will go a long way to helping you with that. I wouldn’t be surprised if it got a little harder for the next few days before it gets easier. People have only been seeing bits and pieces of you. Once they get a bigger dose of you, it’ll help things out a lot.”

“It sounds like you have a lot of experience with this sort of thing,” Rodney commented as they started walking again.

“Let’s say I do and leave it at that,” Evan replied tersely, his mouth thinning into a sharp line and his jaw clenching.

Changing the subject, Rodney asked, “Did you finish that piece you were working on the other day?”

He could see the tension ease slightly in Evan’s body as he replied, “Almost. It just needs a few more touches.”

“Why don’t we go back to your place and you can finish that up?”

“What will you do? Art isn’t exactly your thing.”

Rodney shrugged. “I could play golf on your computer?” he asked hopefully.

“Okay, sure,” Evan agreed. “Just don’t mess up my high scores again.”

“It’s not my fault I’m actually good at it.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Math-based sport and all that. Gotcha. Still, leave a man a little pride.”

“I could teach you,” Rodney offered.

“I know, but I kind of like the pity when I do try to play.”

Rodney laughed and shook his head in amusement. “Tell me again how they let an art student into the Air Force?”

“Equal opportunity recruiting. And I could handle the G force better than most of the other recruits. And I know a tiny bit of math math. I’m just not a math whiz like you or Sheppard.”

They entered Evan’s quarters as Rodney replied, “Yeah, I’ve seen you try to play Prime, Not Prime. It was a sad day for numbers everywhere.”

Rodney helped Evan set up his easel and paints by the window before commandeering his computer. They spent the next few hours in comfortable silence before both of their stomachs decided in unison they needed to be fed.

The next morning, Rodney dressed in his Atlantis clothing for the first time in over three years. For a while, he stared at himself in the mirror, not sure if he recognized the person looking back. They were definitely looser and he wondered if he’d be able to get different sizes as he headed down to the mess hall.

Before heading to the labs, Rodney made a detour to the control room and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Chuck’s back.

“Hey,” he said, sitting down next to Chuck.

“Shouldn’t you be in the lab?” Chuck asked, barely looking at him.

“Yes, but I still feel bad about the other day. I feel bad about the position I put you in and the position I could have put you in. Evan told me about – you know. So I’m sorry if I made things weird in that department too, since we’re all friends. If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way about him, but I haven’t told him yet. And I’m stopping now before I make an even bigger mess of things. Just please don’t hate me.”

Chuck looked at him for a moment before he started laughing. Rodney stared at him, wondering if he should be upset or if there was a joke in there somewhere that he was missing. When Chuck finally stopped, he shook his head in amusement and said, “Only in the Pegasus galaxy. I don’t hate you, Rodney, and I’m not angry. I just didn’t want it to be awkward between us and I didn’t want you to get the wrong impression.” He glanced over Rodney’s shoulder to Elizabeth’s office. “You better get to the labs before Elizabeth sees you out here and thinks you’ve changed your mind. We’ll talk later.”

Rodney stood. “Good point. I’ll see you later, then.”

“You look good, by the way,” Chuck said, stopping him. “It’s weird seeing you out of your other clothes, but you look good.”

“Thanks,” Rodney replied, not exactly sure what the right response was.

Rodney headed down to the labs, picking up Evan on the way. He paused in the doorway to the labs, taking it all in. Everything was the same as it had always been. There were a few new faces and a few old ones were gone. And there was some new technology that was being worked on, but otherwise time seemed to have stood still.

“You okay?” Evan asked.

“Yeah, Rodney replied, taking a deep breath. “It’s just – wow.”

Radek came over to them. “I’ll show you your station, Rodney. We pulled all of your projects that we didn’t have time to finish so you can decide what you want to work on. We also set up a computer for you with complete access – same as everyone else. Here you go.”

By the time they got to Rodney’s new station, a hush had fallen over the lab and everyone was watching them. But Rodney didn’t notice as he looked at the station with the laptop and piles of files, feeling his chest constrict. “Thank you, Radek,” he finally managed.

“You’re welcome.” Lowering his voice, Radek asked, “How do you want to handle seeing people? There are quite a few who are eager to see you again.”

Rodney shrugged. “As long as it’s not a free-for-all, I don’t see the point in worrying about crowd control.”

Radek nodded. “Okay. But if you feel overwhelmed, let me know, all right?”

“Thanks again, Radek, and I will,” Rodney replied before Radek made his exit.

“Where do you want me, Doc?” Evan asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Rodney replied dismissively. “I think today’s mostly going to be trying to get myself organized and figuring out what’s where and what’s going on and that sort of thing. And it might even take a couple days.”

Without further ado, Evan plopped down in one of the chairs and pulled out his sketchbook and pencils and began working.

Rodney sat down at the other chair and began going through the folders. As he looked, snippets of projects and memories came back to him. He made a list of items he’d have to see about getting and sorted the folders in to piles for ‘work on right away’, ‘can do second’, ‘can I foist this onto someone else?’.

While he did so, the other scientists he remembered slowly filtered over to greet him and welcome him back. Rodney was grateful for their warmth and that they seemed to remember him more fondly than he did himself.

At lunch time, Rodney actually had to drag Evan away from his work.

“How are you handling it?” Evan asked as they headed down to the mess hall.

“I’m doing okay,” Rodney replied. “It’s a bit insane, trying to get back into that mode of thinking and all. But I think it’ll be okay once I’ve been at it for a while.”

Throughout the meal, they were both quiet and Rodney was grateful for that. He’d made a total mess of things and he didn’t know how to fix any of it. And he knew he needed to tell Evan how he felt if he was going to be a good bound friend. He sighed inwardly, hoping Evan would be as understanding about the whole thing as Chuck seemed to be. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way about both of them. Hell, he wasn’t supposed to feel this way about one of them, if he wanted to get technical about the whole situation – given that it wouldn’t help bolster the community’s population.

And that thought stopped him short. Since coming back, Rodney had felt an undercurrent of otherness about himself that he hadn’t felt before. He knew it had to do with the fact that he looked different with his Lapran clothing, the weight he had lost, and his longer hair. The speaking Lapran from time to time surely didn’t help, either. He was sure that people weren’t sure how to approach him because, even with the amount of weirdness that they’d encountered, it wasn’t every day that someone came back from spending four cycles with another culture and he didn’t exactly go out and approach people either.

On the way back to the labs, Evan said, “We’re going over to Chuck’s after dinner for a movie.” When Rodney opened his mouth to protest, Evan continued, “You’re still our friend and we want to spend time with you. Besides, he told me to make sure you came.”

“Then I won’t argue,” Rodney replied. “But I promised Carson I’d go to dinner with him.”

Evan shrugged. “That shouldn’t be a problem. Just come over when you’re done.”

That afternoon, Rodney finished organizing his projects and getting ready to start the first one the next day. Radek also gave him a new earpiece and showed him how to work it. When he left the lab for dinner, he was amused to see the surprised look in Radek’s face.

After detouring to his quarters and changing into his Lapran clothing, he met Carson in the mess hall. They were both tentative at first, not sure exactly how to bridge the gap that had been created. But by the end of the meal, the tension between the two of them had eased and Rodney felt that their friendship would be able to get back on track with a little work. They also made plans to meet regularly for dinner – which was something they had tried to do before Rodney’s unplanned trip but never managed.

As Rodney made his way to Chuck’s quarters, he tried to think of how to describe his time with the Laprans. It wasn’t an exile, and he hadn’t been intentionally left there, so it felt weird saying that. It also hadn’t been a vacation by any means. He wasn’t any closer to an idea when he arrived and hit the door chime.

The door slid open a moment later and Rodney entered to find Chuck and Evan nestled close together and watching a movie on Chuck’s laptop. They both looked up when Rodney entered and Chuck paused the movie.

“We just started The Count of Monte Cristo, if you want to watch,” Evan told him.

“Though, we’re open to other options – both in movies and activities,” Chuck added.

Rodney shrugged as he sat down next to Evan. “I’m open for whatever,” he told them. “Let’s watch the movie.”

As they watched, Rodney felt himself relax and settle into the couch and closer to Evan. By the end of the movie, his shoulder was under Evan’s and Evan’s hand and forearm were casually draped on Rodney’s thigh. As the credits rolled, Rodney wished he could capture this moment when everything was good and peaceful and right.

Chuck broke the moment by stopping the movie and ejecting the disc from his computer. On that cue, Evan slowly stretched and leaned forward and away from both men. Chuck handed Evan the DVD case and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before getting up. “Would you like something to drink, Rodney?” he asked as he headed to the kitchenette.

“I’m good, thanks,” Rodney replied.

A moment later, Chuck returned with drinks for both himself and Evan. “I think you should tell him, Rodney,” he said.

“Tell me what?” Evan asked, looking between them after accepting the drink.

Rodney felt his mouth go dry and wished he had asked for a drink. There was no backing out of this now. “I think I like you too,” he told Evan. “I think I’m attracted to you,” he amended. “Both of you.”

“I know I’m really screwing things up,” Rodney continued. “I’m not supposed to fall in love with my bound friend. Besides, the two of you are together and that takes precedence, obviously. And I should have kept my mouth shut to begin with.”

Evan interrupted Rodney before he could go any further. “Take a deep breath, Rodney. All things considered, liking both of us is understandable. You had a major upheaval in your life and we’ve both been constants for you. So it’s natural for you to have deeper feelings for us. And people say things they shouldn’t all the time. You know this – and you’ve done it before.” He put a hand on Rodney’s knee and licked his lips nervously. “But this, I’m sure, will be a shocker – we like you that way too. We’ve discussed it and we’d like you to join us if you’re interested.”

“Join…?” Rodney asked, trailing off and looking between the two of them. “You mean *join* join the two of you?”

Both Chuck and Evan nodded. “We’re not in any rush for an answer,” Chuck added. “So take your time in deciding what you want to do.”

“And if you later decide that you want out, we’ll respect that and we’ll go back to being friends,” Evan continued.

“I think my brain just shut down,” Rodney commented. “It’s not so much Lapran ideology; it’s more of the fact that you both want me.” Looking between them again, he said, “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Evan replied.

“How would it work?”

“Does the term ménage a trois mean anything to you?” Chuck asked dryly as he sat down.

“Literally or in general usage?” Rodney commented back.

“We just mean that we want it to be equal,” Evan told him. “It would be the three of us for better or worse, for as long as we can manage. Neither of us wants this to be casual. And I don’t think you do, either.”

Rodney leaned back into the couch with a sigh. “This is just – wow.”

“Take your time,” Evan said, squeezing Rodney’s knee before moving his hand away. “We can wait.”

“What made you two decide you wanted someone else involved?”

They both shrugged. “We weren’t expecting to,” Chuck replied. “It just kind of happened for both of us as well – much like you. We then discussed it and went from there.”

“And if I hadn’t put my foot in my mouth?”

“Don’t worry about it, Rodney,” Evan told him. “It would have worked out in the end regardless.”

“But I –.” He looked at the two of them, stumped.

Evan put a finger on Rodney’s lips, effectively stopping him. “Look, we know it’s a lot to think about and that’s okay. Take your time. It’s not something we’re taking lightly and we don’t expect you to either.”

Rodney nodded silently and Evan took his hand away. Looking at his watch, Evan heaved himself up into a standing position and said, “We should go, it’s getting late. Want me to walk you home, Rodney?”

Rodney shrugged. “It’s up to you.”

After taking the offered crutches with a quiet thank you, Evan said, “Okay, let’s go.”

Chuck walked them both to the door. He gave Evan a quick kiss on the lips and gently squeezed Rodney’s upper arm. “Good night, you two,” he said with a warm smile. “I’ll see you both tomorrow for dinner?”

They agreed and headed out. Rodney was quiet on the way back to his quarters. The whole idea was insane, yet strangely attractive. And his knee, his lips, and his arm where they had touched him felt like they had been branded. Sure, they had touched him in the past, but it was so casual and fleeting that it had barely made it onto his radar. But now that they had done so with intent – it seared into him.

When they reached Rodney’s quarters, Evan stopped outside and clumsily propped his crutches against the wall so he could put his hands on Rodney’s cheeks before bidding him good night, retrieving his crutches, and hobbling off. Rodney, slightly shell-shocked, watched him go for a moment before going inside and sitting cross-legged on his bed.

He hadn’t wanted to admit it to either man, but their proposal stirred up a lot of things. The first was that these two incredibly great, and good-looking, guys wanted him to join them in a threesome relationship. A relationship with one person was hard enough, but being involved with two people who were also involved with each other – the thought petrified him. There were too many variables that could go wrong.

And he hadn’t wanted to admit, even to himself, that Lapran beliefs were also playing a factor. There were certain things that you just didn’t do because the fragile balance of society would be undermined. But the Laprans’ careful population control was vastly different from the United States Air Force’s archaic views on interpersonal relationships – something Rodney would have loved to undermine any chance he got. And he still did – but not by risking Evan’s – and Sheppard’s – careers.

He sighed and pulled his legs up, hugging his knees to his chest. Seeing Evan and Chuck curled up together when he had walked in had made him a little envious at first because he wanted what they had. And then the way he felt pressed against Evan to see the computer screen, Evan’s hand on his leg, had seemed so right – almost as if he was subconsciously being told, ‘yes, this is the relationship you were always meant to be in’. Sighing again, he bumped his head back against the wall a few times. Why was this such a hard decision? He knew this was something he had to do alone and he couldn’t look to his other friends for advice.

The rest of the week was a dissonant blur for Rodney. Working in the labs went well and he settled back in with surprising ease once everyone was able to believe he was truly back. With Chuck and Evan, though, it was crazy. True to their word, they didn’t push him to make a decision. But he got a vague sense that they were trying to woo him with desserts at meals, a list of movies they though he’d like that he’d missed, and any number of tiny other things. The worst part, however, was the touching. It was all innocent, but it burned him to the core like he was finally melting after a long winter.

“I get it now,” Evan said the following Monday. “You’re touch starved.”

“What?” Rodney asked, looking at him stupidly from the other side of the work station. “What would make you jump to that conclusion?”

“Just the way you’ve been acting around us. You’ve been really hesitant every time we touch you and at the same time you seem to be soaking it up. I know you’ve said the Laprans aren’t big on the whole touching thing – which I can understand from what you’ve told Tamoura. And having met you before you went to Lapras, I’m sure that before that you weren’t touched a whole lot then either – usually only when necessary. Am I even close?”

“And if I answered yes?” Rodney asked warily.

Evan shrugged. “That’s up to you, honestly. I just had one of those eureka moments and felt like I had to share.” Looking around the lab, he added, “I think I’ve been spending too much time in here.”

Rodney laughed and shook his head as he went back to his work. “You’re insane.”

That evening after dinner, Chuck, Evan, and Rodney walked out to one of the balconies on the East Pier.

“We haven’t completely scared you off, have we?” Chuck asked as he spread out the blanket he’d been carrying and sat down.

“No,” Rodney replied, leaning against the rail and looking out over the water. “I just don’t know what I’m doing, or what to do.”

“Neither do we,” Evan told him as he sat down. “And obviously, this isn’t an easy or light thing for you to decide and we respect that. Just know that we’re here for you to discuss this and figure things out – regardless of what you decide.”

Turning back to look at them, Rodney said, “I know I want to do it. Other than that….” He shrugged. “I don’t know about all the logistics, but I want to try it and I don’t want to be kicking myself down the road for not doing it.” He crossed over to the blanket and knelt down on it. “Just promise you won’t be upset if I want to take things slow.”

“We’re willing to move like glaciers, if that’s what you need,” Evan replied, gently cupping the side of Rodney’s face with his hand.

Rodney nuzzled Evan’s hand and a slight groan escaped Evan’s lips. Rodney looked up to find them both watching him intently and was surprised to see desire in both of their faces. And he was even more surprised when Evan’s hand slid up into his hair before he leaned in to kiss him. The kiss wasn’t tentative like either Sheppard’s or Jaelyn’s had been. The press of Evan’s lips was confident and when he licked Rodney’s lower lip, Rodney opened his mouth and gave Evan access. Rodney whimpered softly when Evan’s tongue entered his mouth and Evan quickly broke off the kiss.

“Is everything all right?” Evan asked breathlessly.

“Fine,” Rodney replied, still a little dazed. “Why?”

“I just – I wasn’t sure because you whimpered.”

As Rodney looked at Evan with confusion, Chuck chuckled and straddled Evan’s lap. “You’ll have to forgive him, Rodney,” Chuck said. “He worries too much sometimes.”

With no warning, Chuck captured Rodney’s mouth. His kiss was as confident as Evan’s, but as Evan tasted cool, calm, and protective, Chuck tasted passionate, fiery, and playful. Chuck ended the kiss with a playful nip to Rodney’s bottom lip.

While Rodney got his bearings back, he watched Chuck and Evan bump noses and smile before kissing. The kiss was hungry and passionate – and hotter than anything Rodney was used to seeing.

Pulling apart, Chuck commented, “And now our deal has been sealed with a kiss.” Settling against Evan’s side, he asked, “I don’t suppose so – but is there a way all three of us could be bonded?”

Rodney shrugged. “I guess so. I’ve never heard of it being done, but I’ve never heard anything against it, either.”

Part of him wanted to say no, to tell them that all this was too abnormal. But if their expectant looks weren’t enough to almost do him in, he knew, logically, that he had to do it. If the three of them were supposed to be in an equal relationship, it wouldn’t work if he was bond friends with Evan and not Chuck and that they weren’t bonded. And, looking between them, he could tell that, instead of diluting the power and meaning of the bond friendship, this would only strengthen the ideal and their own relationship. Rodney finally nodded and replied, “When did you two want to do it?”

“Could we do it now?” Evan asked as Chuck sat up straighter.

“Sure, I guess so.”

He led Chuck and Evan through the simple ceremony. Then he did it for Chuck and himself. And he had to admit, he did feel better once it was done. Hopefully, this way would forge an extra layer of commitment between the three of them to be honest and open with each other.

Once they had finished, Chuck again curled up against Evan’s side. “Thanks, Rodney,” they both said and Evan took Rodney’s hand in his and Chuck covered their hands with one of his.

They stayed on the pier for a while, watching the stars and listening to the water. When the lowering temperature became too noticeable and uncomfortable, they grabbed the blanket and headed inside. Rodney thought about protesting when Chuck and Evan walked him to his quarters, but deep down he had to admit that he liked it and thought it was just a little bit romantic. Outside his door, both men quickly looked up and down the hall before giving Rodney a good-night kiss – Chuck on the lips, and Evan on the forehead.

“I’ll see you both tomorrow,” Rodney told them before heading inside, for once feeling like everything was right in the world.

After that night, things returned to the status quo. Chuck, Evan, and Rodney spent almost all of their free time together when they weren’t on the clock. But if one or two of them made plans with other people, the others easily went with it. Rodney had to admit that he enjoyed the whole thing – knowing that they were his and he was theirs, regardless of what they did and who they were with.

Rodney was amused at Carson’s exasperation when they showed up with Evan when he went to have his cast removed. But Carson said nothing to them beyond a surprised comment that world must be ending because Chuck was hardly ever in the infirmary, period, and Rodney’s shadow rarely darkened its door now that he had returned from his ‘excursion’, as Carson had taken to calling Rodney’s time away. They just waved him off and told him to get to the business at hand.

And, true to their word, Chuck and Evan took things slowly. After the night on the Pier, they didn’t kiss Rodney unless he initiated, which wasn’t often, and seemed to get as much enjoyment out of him watching them kiss as they got out of doing it. And he was shocked when they promised that they wouldn’t move faster in the relationship than he did. Which Rodney found out meant no sex until he was ready. He had never thought of himself as a prude, but he knew it would take time to break down his barriers and become comfortable with their ease of physical affection.

They were also careful about touching him. Rodney soon found out that he had paired up with the two most touchy-feely people in the expedition. And it made him more than a little skittish because he wasn’t used to it – he never had been, even as a child. He had once tried to find the root of it with Heightmeyer, but they had never been able to determine a cause, even though she had told him of some research that had found people with above-average intelligence tended to be hyper-sensitive to touch. While he felt better knowing that there was actual research backing him up, Rodney still felt bad that he was at the opposite end of the spectrum from Chuck and Evan and wished there was something he could do about it.

But as Evan and Chuck continued to touch him, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, he found himself slowly coming to enjoy it and even look forward to it. And it scared him how much he enjoyed it because he didn’t want it to be taken away from him – as most of the good things in his life had been.

One afternoon, as they finished lunch with Carson and Rodney’s old team, Chuck stood and put a hand on Rodney’s shoulder. Gently squeezing it, he leaned down and whispered in Rodney’s ear, “My quarters, tonight, seven o’clock. Don’t be late.” He gently rubbed Rodney’s shoulder before releasing it and, after bidding everyone else at the table a good afternoon, left as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Rodney simply watched him go, trying to ignore the shiver of anticipation that had gone down his spine at Chuck’s words.

The afternoon went by with agonizing slowness and Rodney found himself watching the clock instead of doing actual work. He finally gave up and left a few hours early, to everyone else’s surprise. He first retrieved his staff and headed down to the gym to see if going through his forms would improve his focus, but they were second nature to him now. The movement felt good, but his mind was still racing and wondering what Chuck, and probably Evan, had planned for tonight.

He headed back to his quarters with a frustrated sigh. Getting comfortable on his bed, he tried to clear his mind and meditate, but that was also to no avail. He couldn’t focus on anything long enough to relax. After a number of aborted attempts, he got up with a frustrated growl and took a shower.

He ended up eating dinner alone – Sheppard’s team was away on a mission, Carson was finishing up some simulations, and Radek was doing God-knew-what – Rodney was starting to think the man didn’t eat. There were a few people in the mess hall that Rodney knew, but he didn’t feel comfortable enough with any of them to actually share a meal. Afterwards, he headed to Chuck’s quarters, hoping that arriving early wouldn’t mess up whatever was in store for him.

Both Chuck and Evan were there to greet him and Rodney was instantly suspicious when he saw them grinning like Cheshire cats. And wearing only their boxer-briefs – which, contrary to popular belief, left little to the imagination than if they had been completely naked. He gulped and looked at them petrified.

“Strip,” Chuck told him in a tone that brooked no argument from where he sat on a bed that was larger than any other Rodney had seen in Atlantis.

“What?” Rodney asked in disbelief. Crossing his arms over his chest, he narrowed his eyes and asked, “Why?”

“We’re taking the proverbial sledge-hammer to things and staging an intervention,” Evan told him. “Now, strip.”

Rodney stood there and sputtered, not sure if he should be incensed or petrified. “Might I ask what in the hell the two of you are doing?” he asked.

“We’re trying to fix you – well, part of you,” Evan replied. “You’ve been starving for so long for someone else to touch you that you practically can’t handle casual touch any more. I’m hoping that tonight we can override at least part of your problem.”

“You couldn’t talk some sense into him?” Rodney asked Chuck with a bit of a growl.

Chuck shrugged and deadpanned, “I thought it was a good idea when he explained it to me – he had charts and everything.”

“And how does an art major know so much about psychology?” Rodney asked, turning his attention back to Evan.

“I double-majored, actually,” Evan replied, “with a concentration in art therapy. I was never licensed to practice, though – the sky got me before that. Haptic communication had always been an interest of mine.”

“Haptic what? You’re not making all this up just to get me out of my clothes, are you?”

Evan rolled his eyes and leveled a ‘you’ve got to be shitting me’ expression at Rodney. “No, I’m not. Is this unconventional? Yes. Do I think it’ll work? Yes – well, probably.”

“*Probably*?” Rodney asked, his tone going into its shrill ‘are you *insane*?’ mode.

“Oh, come on, Rodney. It’s not like I’m planning on performing a lobotomy – just some skin-on-skin touching.”

“And if I leave right now?”

Evan shrugged. “That’s your choice. But tell me you aren’t just a little intrigued.” He advanced on Rodney as Chuck moved their previously discarded clothing off and away from the bed. As he got closer, his voice got softer, more intimate. “That deep down inside, you want this. For so long you’ve felt like if you couldn’t prove yourself with your intellect, people wouldn’t like you, so you walled off your feelings and needs. You kept telling yourself that your genius was the only thing that mattered, the only thing that needed to matter. And one day you started believing it.”

Rodney closed his eyes and let out a ragged breath, not wanting to admit how easily Evan had pegged him. Evan’s hands, with their calloused fingertips and palms, gently wrapped around Rodney’s elbows, supporting them. Rodney let his arms drop to his sides as Evan’s hands gently slid up his arms to just below his shirt sleeves and his thumbs gently rubbed back and forth across the backs of Rodney’s arms.

When Evan continued, his voice was soft, but intense. “This is all about you. We’ll only do what you want us to. But I don’t believe for a second that, for a long time, you haven’t wanted *someone* to prove to you that you aren’t just another cog in the great machine that is Scientific Discovery.”

Rodney felt, rather than heard, Chuck come up behind him and gently run his hands along Rodney’s shoulder blades from his spine outwards. But Evan’s touch and voice had woven a spell over him and he couldn’t move, couldn’t stop listening as Evan continued.

“You *do* matter, Rodney McKay. *You* are important to us.” He gently squeezed Rodney’s arms, anchoring him, making Rodney aware of their touch. Rodney’s breath hitched again and he forced himself to open his eyes and look into Evan’s intense gaze. Evan gave him a gentle smile as he ran his hands down Rodney’s arms and grasped his hands.

“I don’t – I can’t – I –” Rodney struggled to form the words, to tell them what he wanted, what he needed, but his vocabulary had disappeared.

“It’s okay,” Evan acknowledged. “Would you like to continue?”

Rodney nodded mutely, hardly aware of the lights dimming and cocooning the three of them in their glow, as Chuck’s hands skimmed down Rodney’s arms and gently squeezed Rodney’s hands above Evan’s.

“Just say the word if you become uncomfortable.”

“No, ah, no kissing,” Rodney stated. He knew that if they went down that path, it would quickly lead to sex and he wasn’t ready for that yet. Maybe not ever. Since coming back to Atlantis, every time he had tried to even think about sex, he wasn’t able to do it for more than a moment or two. After everything with John and Jaelyn…. He pulled himself back to the present.

“Okay,” Evan replied and Chuck echoed. His hands left Rodney’s and went to the hem of Rodney’s shirt. “May we?”

Rodney swallowed and nodded. The two men slowly pushed the garment up and over Rodney’s head, hands skimming along his torso the whole way. Evan pulled it off his arms and threw the shirt towards Chuck’s desk. They spent their time slowly exploring Rodney’s exposed skin with their hands, learning its contours and memorizing it, feeling each bump and scar. Evan’s hands lingered on the scar Koyla had given him, his thumb gently rubbing over it a few times, and Rodney had the feeling Evan was trying to apologize for something he couldn’t have prevented. Rodney closed his eyes and began taking deep breaths, commanding himself to not go into overload.

“You can touch us too,” Evan replied, his tone light and amused, and Rodney’s eyes snapped open. “The lack of clothing isn’t just a show of solidarity.”

“In fact, we want you to touch us,” Chuck replied, coming around Rodney’s side, trailing a hand along his skin.

“I bet you crave the ability to touch as much as to be touched,” Evan continued. “Not just sexually, but in general, like we’re doing to you now. Is that right?”

Rodney nodded again, his ability to speak completely gone. He’d always thought it was a weakness and had tried to ignore it, but Evan was doing a very good job of making all of this seem like the most natural thing in the world, as if it was as essential as eating, sleeping, and breathing. Both men took one of Rodney’s hands and put it on their bare chests and kept their hands lightly around his wrists. Rodney looked between the two of them, slightly stunned, waiting for the moment they would start laughing and it would all come out as a huge joke. But the moment stretched on and he became aware that they were completely serious.

“I don’t – I don’t know –” he stuttered, looking between them completely lost, and swallowing sharply.

“It’s okay,” Evan replied as they both gave him an encouraging smile and he gently chafed Rodney’s wrist. “Whatever you want.”

Rodney wasn’t sure what he wanted. How had Evan been so good at reading him? No one else had ever been this good at knowing what he wanted and needed – not even Jeannie or Sheppard. Sheppard was clueless about a lot of things when it came to others, he thought and chuckled to himself, shaking his head when Evan and Chuck looked at him questioningly.

He gently, almost reflexively, began stroking the skin beneath his fingers, feeling the differences between the two men. Chuck had a light splatter of dark hair across his chest and down his torso, whereas Evan was completely hairless except for a light trail of hair going from his belly button down into his boxer-briefs.

Rodney took his hand from Evan’s chest and Evan easily released him as Rodney turned to Chuck and placed both hands on his chest. Rodney looked at Chuck for permission and Chuck gave him a supportive nod but stayed silent. Rodney gently pushed against Chuck’s chest, feeling both its give and firmness, the warmth of Chuck’s skin to his touch, the steady beat of his heart under Rodney’s right hand. He slowly explored Chuck’s chest, arms, and back with his hands, finding a mole here, a freckle there, a few small scars and burn marks littering his forearms. He wondered how many of them were from his life in Atlantis.

“Thank you,” he said quietly when he had finished.

“You’re welcome,” Chuck replied as Rodney turned to Evan.

Rodney hesitated for a moment, this whole experience more alien to him than many of the things he had dealt with since coming to Atlantis.

“It’s okay,” Evan told him and stepped forward.

Rodney tentatively put his hands on Evan’s shoulders and he caressed them a few times before coming up to cup Evan’s neck, his thumbs gently rubbing back and forth a few times against Evan’s throat before traveling down to his chest. Evan’s skin was slightly cooler, but still as solid, and his heartbeat was just as steady and reassuring as Chuck’s. As Rodney tactilely explored Evan’s chest, arms, and back, cataloguing the scars and other physical markings that represented his life, he felt something break inside of him, and he sniffed quietly.

When he finished, he stepped back and pulled his hands away. “Thank you,” he told Evan.

“You’re welcome,” Evan replied. “But we’re not done yet.”

He took another step forward and put his arms around Rodney, pulling him into a tight bear hug. Chuck moved behind him and hugged him just as tightly from behind. Rodney stiffened in their embrace, but they didn’t relinquish their hold on him. As they continued to hold him, he slowly relaxed and felt himself crumpling inside, tears slowly welling to the surface. Evan’s arm around Rodney’s shoulders tightened and his other hand came up to cradle the back of Rodney’s head as he gently pushed Rodney’s face into the crook of his shoulder. Chuck’s arms around Rodney’s waist tightened and he pressed himself against Rodney’s back. Rodney brought his hands up and clutched at Evan’s sides, probably hard enough to leave bruises, but Evan didn’t complain or move away. Rodney didn’t even know why he was crying, but the release felt good and he felt the tightness in his chest ease as he poured out his grief.

When Rodney finally finished, his eyes were red and his nose was dripping slightly as he carefully moved out of their embrace and wiped at the tears on his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he said as Chuck held out a box of tissues and Rodney took a couple.

“For what?” Evan asked as he wiped himself off with a discarded shirt before tossing it on the floor again.

Rodney let out a snort as he wiped his eyes. “For making a mess of you.”

“I don’t mind and you obviously needed it. Care to talk about it?”

“I don’t even know what I was crying about,” Rodney admitted. “Which is totally not like me. I normally have things under control.”

“We know,” Evan admitted, as he cupped the backs of Rodney’s arms again and held his gaze, “but it’s okay, Rodney. You don’t have to pretend with us, just like we don’t have to pretend with you.” He gave him a light smile as he took his hands away and put them on Rodney’s belt buckle. “How about we have a little fun and lighten up the mood? Did you know touching can also be a lot of fun?”

Rodney rolled his eyes and gave him a ‘you are insane’ look as Evan undid Rodney’s belt and fluidly pulled it out of its loops before casually tossing it on top of Rodney’s shirt. He snagged his fingers in Rodney’s front belt loops and for a moment, Rodney wanted to kiss him, but held himself back.

“How are we doing?” Evan asked seriously as the lights came up slightly. “Are you doing all right? We haven’t broken you yet, have we?”

“I’m all right,” Rodney told him, glancing over to Chuck, who was sitting on the bed. “I don’t think you’ve broken me yet. Not completely, anyway.”

“Good. Then why don’t we have a little fun?”

He walked backwards, pulling Rodney forward and turning him around before pushing him down onto the bed next to Chuck. Chuck gently ran a finger through Rodney’s hair just above the shell of his ear and Rodney turned to look at him as Evan kneeled down and took of Rodney’s moccasins. Rodney’s gaze drifted down to Chuck’s mouth and he quickly licked his lips.

“It’s okay,” Chuck told him. “Go ahead.”

Rodney leaned in and captured Chuck’s mouth with his. The kiss was hungry and desperate and Chuck ran a hand through Rodney’s hair, holding his head in place as he dominated the kiss and Rodney moaned in the back of his throat.

“Wow, that was…wow,” Evan said from his kneeling position when they broke apart breathlessly and Rodney smiled self-consciously. He gently squeezed Rodney’s thighs just above his knees before sitting on the other side of him.

Rodney gave him a questioning look and Evan took the lead. He leaned in, Rodney’s shoulder pressed against his chest and his hand cupping Rodney’s jaw as he gently kissed Rodney. The kiss quickly became as passionate as the one Rodney had just shared with Chuck and Rodney was panting and a little dazed when they broke it off.

Evan winked at him before leaning across Rodney. Chuck met him halfway and Rodney watched them kiss with interest and a small spark of desire.

“Why don’t we get these out of the way?” Evan asked, tugging at Rodney’s pants when he and Chuck broke apart.

“Okay,” Rodney replied with a nod. He shifted farther back on the bed and lay back, sticking his hips up in the air as he undid the buttons on the fly before wriggling out of them and kicking them away from the bed.

Evan and Chuck followed him up on the bed and they both turned onto their sides to face him. Both men put a hand on Rodney’s stomach and began gently caressing him, helping him settle his sudden bout of nerves.

Then Evan skated a hand over Rodney’s boxer-clad hip and down his bare thigh to his knee. “Is this okay?” he asked.

“Fine,” Rodney replied.

“So, are you ticklish anywhere?” Chuck asked with a mischievous grin. “Or are you going to make us find the spots?” He lightly tickled Rodney’s side and Rodney squirmed a bit, a small smile forming on his lips. “I see I found one spot. Are there any others?”

“Well, the bottoms of the feet are usually a good spot to check,” Evan said, sitting up and grabbing one of Rodney’s feet, gently tickling it. Rodney jerked his foot out of Evan’s hold with an involuntary laugh. “I see we found another spot.”

The situation quickly deteriorated into a free-for-all, the three of them touching and tickling each other all over. The three of them were breathless with laughter when they all stopped at the same time. The air practically crackled with an electric charge as they looked between each other. Their touches became more focused and they began touching whatever patch of skin was available. Rodney felt oddly detached from himself, like he was floating in space, but at the same time he had never felt so secure in his life.

When Chuck accidentally bumped Rodney’s groin with his hand, Rodney groaned and realized that he was hard – really hard. He instantly froze and blushed. “I’m sorry,” he told them both as they looked at him, confused. “I didn’t mean to – I know that’s not the point of all of this, but I apparently can’t help myself and I’m sorry and –”

Evan put a finger on Rodney’s lips, effectively stopping his babbling. “It’s okay, Rodney,” he told him. “It’s completely understandable, normal, and natural. Your body’s responding the way it’s been trained. How would you like to deal with it?” His tone turned impish as he asked, “Would you like us to take care of it for you?”

“No, that’s okay.” Rodney blew out a breath. “It’ll probably go away in a moment or two. But let’s continue and hopefully it’ll get the point.”

“And what point would that be?” Chuck asked, nuzzling Rodney’s neck – which caused Rodney to suck in a breath and for his erection to tighten even more.

“That was completely uncalled for and totally unnecessary,” Rodney yelped in surprise.

“I know, but it was fun, wasn’t it?” Chuck asked.

“You’re evil,” Rodney told him as he ran his hand over Chuck’s arm and then pinched him suddenly on the side of his elbow.

They resumed touching each other and Rodney found that he enjoyed it – and that Evan had been right. He had walled himself off for so long that he had forgotten how fantastic it felt to touch someone without any ulterior motive at all, regardless of what certain parts of his body thought.

Then everything went to hell.

Chuck had brushed along the inside of Rodney’s elbow at the same time Evan’s fingers gently swept along Rodney’s inner thigh below his boxers. Rodney’s body stiffened as he groaned and came, feeling the warm fluid spread across his boxers. As soon as he finished, Rodney blushed deeply and scrambled up to the head of the bed, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his knees.

“I’m sorry,” he told them both. “I don’t know what’s going on with me. Usually I’m much better about sex and all of that, but lately, I just –”

“It’s okay,” Chuck told him. “Believe me, we get it. You don’t have to apologize to us or explain yourself or anything.”

“Do you want to continue?” Evan asked him.

Rodney shook his head emphatically. “I just – I can’t. I’m sorry. You guys have been great to me tonight.”

He got up, picked up his clothes, and headed into the bathroom without looking at either of them. After quickly taking off his dirty boxers and wiping himself off as best he could with them, he dressed and went back out into the main room. Both Evan and Chuck had dressed as well and they were waiting for him. He carefully avoided meeting their eyes.

“Are you okay?” Evan asked, gently touching Rodney’s elbow and catching his gaze.

“I guess so,” Rodney replied. “I can’t explain it. Apparently, I have things I need to work through.”

“Just remember we’re here for you,” Evan told him as he reached down and squeezed Rodney’s wrist.

“And that you don’t have to do this alone,” Chuck told Rodney as he took Rodney’s other hand in his and gently squeezed it. He leaned in and kissed Rodney on the cheek. “That’s what bound friends and people in relationships do for each other, right?”

“Right,” Rodney replied with a decisive nod. He gave them both a self-depreciating smile. “But have I told you two that I suck at relationships?”

“We’re not exactly saints either when it comes to relationships, Rodney. But we’ll manage, I promise.”

“Come on,” Evan said. “I’ll walk you back to your quarters.”

“I’d rather go alone,” Rodney told him, finally looking up at them. “But thank you – both of you for tonight. I really appreciate it. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

He squeezed Chuck’s hand before letting it go. Evan kissed Rodney on the temple before releasing him. Rodney walked resolutely to the door, but paused in the entryway and glanced back at the two men who were holding hands and watching him.

Rodney headed back to his quarters in a daze. When he entered, he leaned back against the doorway and closed his eyes. He took a few deep breaths and could still feel Evan and Chuck’s hands on his body, touching, caressing, caring, grounding him. It had been one of the best experiences of his life.

And then he had gone and blown it.

He knew Chuck and Evan were serious about their relationship with him and that they really were all right with what had happened tonight, but it had thrown Rodney for a loop. What if he couldn’t have sex without freaking out? What if he never regained an objective interest in having sex? What would they do then?

Maybe he should leave – let them be happy with someone who was more normal than he was. And while he was at it, maybe he should leave Atlantis, too. He still didn’t feel quite right here. Maybe it was time to find a new place to call home.

The next day, Rodney was guiltily thankful that Evan’s team was sent off-world for a few days to deal with a dispute between another team and the natives. From there, it was easy enough for him to avoid Chuck. He wasn’t sure how to deal wit them or how to fix what he had done.

His escape was his work in the labs. The projects he was working on helped him lose himself a few hours in something definite and concrete, and he was able to keep to himself and not be bothered by anyone. Since he had started back in the labs, he realized that the one habit he hadn’t been able to shake during his four cycles away was keeping an eye on the rest of the lab. It wasn’t nearly as interesting now with the Wraith mostly gone and the scientists better able to adapt to their new environment. But there was still alien technology that couldn’t be trifled with and Rodney wanted to keep everyone as safe as possible.

The downside to this was that the original expedition members knew – or at least assumed – that he was watching them and some would look to him before carrying out Radek’s orders. Getting fed up with it, Rodney sent out a polite, if scathing email to the scientists telling them that even though he was back, Radek was going to stay the Head of the Science Department, so they needed to get over it and start listening to him again. And if they didn’t, he still had the authority, and know-how, to freeze their showers for a week.

But what he hated even more were the newer members who didn’t seem to respect the proper order of things and didn’t listen to him when he told them to not do something. But they finally started to listen after a few singed fingers, a broken pair of glasses, and another scathing email telling them they were all morons and that they should be thankful that what had happened with Carson had been the worst of it – so far. After that, he sent Radek a scathing email dressing him down for not putting the fear of God into the new members over the Ancient technology. Radek, true to form, ignored him.

After two days of this, Rodney went back to his quarters, feeling surprisingly light and happy. Chuck was waiting for him outside of his door, his arms crossed.

“You’ve been ignoring me,” Chuck stated as Rodney swiped his hand over the lock.

“Yes, I have,” Rodney agreed as he went inside.

“Why?” Chuck asked as he lingered in the doorway. “Is it because Evan’s not here?”

“If we’re going to have a deep discussion, you better come in. I don’t think either of us wants just anyone to hear what we have to say.” Once the door had shut behind Chuck, Rodney continued, “And, no, I haven’t been ignoring you because Evan isn’t here. I’ve been ignoring you because I royally screwed things up the other night and I didn’t know how to handle it afterwards.”

Chuck snorted. “I’d hardly call getting off on just being touched screwing things up royally. Slightly unorthodox maybe and definitely unexpected. Would it help if I told you that it wasn’t our intention to get you off? Or that we’re not upset by it?”

Rodney shrugged. “I appreciate it, but not a whole lot, no.” He puffed out his cheeks and then let the breath out slowly. “I just – I’m horrible at this sort of thing – relationships in general, I mean – and I’d rather bow out and see the two of you happy than pull this relationship, or whatever it is, through the mud and make a huge disaster out of it.”

“And what about us, hmm?” Chuck asked, advancing on Rodney. “I know Evan and I both agreed to back off if you decided you didn’t want to be with us, but you’re going to back off because of one little bump in the road? The Rodney McKay I know wouldn’t do that.”

“I’m not the man I was before I left.”

“I’m talking about the one who came back. I know you’re scared about doing this. But so are Evan and I. Neither of us has ever been in a threesome relationship before.”

“I think we should wait until Evan’s back to have this discussion,” Rodney said feebly as Chuck entered his personal space.

“Fair enough,” Chuck replied, “but you should know: neither of us is planning on running just because something feels a little out of our depth, and we hope you won’t either. At least not yet.”

Rodney sighed. “Okay. But you’ll both have to do a better job of convincing me.”

“Will this help?”

Chuck put his hands on Rodney’s hips and kissed him. Once Rodney got over his initial shock, he relaxed into Chuck’s embrace and kissed him back, his hands coming up to lightly grip Chuck’s upper arms. He tentatively ran his tongue along Chuck’s bottom lip and Chuck yielded to him. Rodney’s tongue dipped in, tasting Chuck and he groaned softly.

Chuck finally broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against Rodney’s. He opened his mouth to say something and hesitated, his hand going to his ear. “Yeah, Evan, he’s with me.” He paused. “Okay, I’ll tell him. We’ll be there as soon as we can.” Stepping out of Rodney’s embrace, Chuck said, “Evan wants me to yell at you for not wearing your earpiece. And he wants to meet us for dinner.”

Rodney sighed, letting go of his desire to get a shower before dinner. “Okay. Let me at least get changed first.” He gathered a Lapran outfit and headed into the bathroom, calling over his shoulder, “I think the three of us are going to have to set some ground rules for our relationship.”

“Like what?” Chuck asked, following him and standing outside the door.

“Like what happens when one of us goes off-world. Obviously, that’ll be Evan more often than you or I, but there’s still a possibility that one of us would need to do so.” Rodney exited the bathroom. “I just want us to know where we’re all coming from and what we’re expecting and all of that.”

“Okay, sounds reasonable,” Chuck replied as he followed Rodney out of the room and down to the mess hall.

Evan stood when they both approached his table with their trays. He gave them a warm smile and Rodney could tell he wanted to hug them, or kiss them, or something, but didn’t feel like he could. When they all sat down, Evan asked, “How have you two been?”

“Good,” Chuck replied.

“Fine,” Rodney replied. “I had to remind the science department who was in charge and of the idea of safety in regards to alien technology. It was long over-due, if you ask me.”

“How was the mission?” Chuck asked between bites.

Evan shrugged. “The dispute was more of a misunderstanding than anything else, so it was easy to get settled. But I would have rather listened to Rodney chew out his scientists than the talks I had to sit through. These people make Rodney’s rants seem like a quick chat.”

“Wow, that makes me feel almost loved,” Rodney replied dryly. “Seriously, though, you should have been on PX9-254. A short talk was three hours.” He paused for a moment before saying quietly, “We need to talk after dinner.”

“If you’re going to say that you want out because of what happened the other night, I will kick your ass from here to the Midway Station and back,” Evan told him earnestly. “It’s not as big a deal as you think it is and I don’t want to see you bail because of one little thing.”

“You’re both insane, you know that?” Rodney told them, not sure if he should be pissed or happy that they weren’t letting him get out easily. “If you’re not going to let me get out of this relationship simply because I want out –”

“You’re right, we’re being unfair,” Chuck told him sincerely. “And I apologize for my part in trying to make you stay against your will. I’m sorry for being selfish and not thinking about how hard this must be for you.”

“Thank you,” Rodney replied, Chuck’s sincerity going a long way to sooth his anger.

“I’m sorry too,” Evan replied. “We’ll back off and take your cue with this. And we’ll need to set up some ground rules, too.”

“That’s what I told Chuck earlier,” Rodney agreed. “I’d rather be safe than sorry for the time being – though, preferably for forever.”

“I’d rather not be the bad guy here, guys,” Chuck told them.

“Don’t worry – you’re not,” Evan told him. “Unless you want to be,” he added with a naughty grin and a wink.

“Let’s get going,” Rodney told them as he stood to take care of his tray. “Let’s go back to my place, since it’s closer. I want to get this done with sooner rather than later.”

The men made quick work of their trays and headed out. When they settled in Rodney’s room, Evan was sitting in the desk chair, Rodney was at the head of the bed with a pad of paper and a pen, and Chuck was sprawled over the rest of the bed.

“Okay,” Rodney said. “Number one. What are we going to do when one of us – mainly you, Evan – is off-world on a mission?”

“No sex,” Evan said emphatically. “Kissing, touching, anything like that – fine. No actual sex – oral included.”

“I figured that would be my line,” Rodney remarked as he wrote it down.

Evan shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a bit of a possessive bastard who likes to watch. But, you know, Rodney, I never figured you for a prude when it comes to sex. Not getting any, maybe, but not a prude.”

“I am not a prude!” Rodney snapped. “I simply have certain empirical evidence for not wanting to have sex.” In telling them about his time on Lapras, he had been vague about the details of Jaelyn’s death. He knew he had to tell them. “I wasn’t completely truthful about my relationship about Jaelyn. We had premarital sex and because of it, we were exiled for three months along with other punishments. She also died due to the pregnancy.” He winced before going for full admittance. “And Sheppard and I were sort of together before my time on Lapras.”

“Well, that explains a lot,” Chuck commented.

“After you went MIA, Sheppard started going a little crazy,” Evan explained. “He’s stayed functional, but he’s been considerably focused on finding you.”

“Yeah, I noticed he’s pretty intense every time I’m around,” Rodney agreed. “And I don’t think he’s completely gotten that I don’t want to get back together with him. I know he’s heard the words and intellectually understands them, but….” He shrugged.

“I’m sure he’ll come around,” Chuck told him, patting Rodney’s ankle. “I think he needs time to adjust and let go.”

“I certainly hope so,” Rodney replied. “Okay, let’s get back on track. First rule – no sex unless all three of us are together or the aliens make us do it.”

“We’ll need a bigger bed,” Chuck commented as he saved himself from falling off.

“I think we need to communicate. If something’s bothering us, we need to get it out in the open and not let it fester. And we need to make decisions together,” Evan said, ignoring Chuck, and Rodney wrote it down. “Otherwise, it needs to be a life-or-death decision.”

There was a long pause before Rodney said, “Okay, we’ve got that we can only have sex if all three of us are together and that we need to communicate and make decisions jointly. Anything else?”

Both men shrugged and Chuck said, “Some things you can’t plan ahead for. I think this might be one of them and we should be open to revisions if necessary.”

“I agree and think the biggest thing will be communication,” Evan replied. “It’s hard enough with two people, let alone three. Though, I’m sure the perk of having someone else who knows the third as intimately as you do is a plus.”

“Sounds like we’re well on our way to a blissful relationship,” Rodney replied.

Rodney took a long sip of his water. Setting the bottle down with a satisfied sigh, he wiped his face off with a towel. He had never felt this sore and weary in his life, but at the same time, his body felt satisfied. Maybe he needed to spar with Ronon more often. He turned to rest against the wall as he watched John and Darby head out onto the floor for some hand-to-hand practice. Ronon leaned next to him and Teyla joined them.

“Is it just me, or does Sheppard seem to have gone off the deep end where I’m concerned?” he asked them.

“I believe that is an apt description,” Teyla replied with a slight nod. “He did not take very well to you being left behind.”

“And now that I’m back, he probably doesn’t quite know what to do with me.” Rodney thumped his head against the wall, not wanting to admit to them what had happened between them the other night.

“You two were close before,” Ronon commented, as if that was the key.

“Yeah, but things were different then. I was different then.” Rodney let out a deep breath. “I think he expects me to be the same person and I can’t be that guy any more. I’ve moved on and it doesn’t look like he has.”

“His feelings for you are what have buoyed him after you were gone,” Teyla told Rodney. At his wide-eyed expression, she said, “No, he did not tell us of the exact nature of his relationship with you, nor did we ask. But sometimes it is plain to see how he feels for you. And there was a time when it was as equally evident with you.”

“What do you two think I should do?” Rodney asked. “He needs to let me go.”

“Have you told him that you no longer share his feelings?”

“Yes. But I don’t think he heard me.”

Teyla patted his arm. “Sometimes these things take time, Rodney. I’m sure he’ll come around in due time.”

“I certainly hope so,” Rodney muttered.

After they had finished, John caught up with Rodney in the hallway. “Hey. Feel up to doing something later?”

“Sure,” Rodney replied. “Are you doing okay, Sheppard?”

“Yeah, why?” John asked, furrowing his brow.

Rodney shrugged. “You’ve just seemed a little weird lately. You know, after our… thing.”

“It’s just been a little weird, you know? I spent three years hoping I could get you back. And now you’re here and you don’t want me any more.”

Looking up and down the deserted hallway, and then pulling John into a deserted lab, Rodney hissed, “You know why that is and yet you stay away most of the time. And when you are around me, you watch me like a hawk. I can’t take this whole hot/cold thing with you. What’s going on, Sheppard?”

“I’ve missed you so much,” John admitted, a note of sadness in his voice. “And I don’t know what to do to stop it or fix it or –” He waved his hand fruitlessly.

“You’ve got to let me go, Sheppard,” Rodney told him. “What we had was great and if things were different, I would gladly go out with you again. But that’s not the way things are supposed to go for us. You need to get that through your thick skull.”

“How are you so sure that we’re over?” John asked him.

Rodney knew he really needed to put the kibosh on this before things got even crazier than they already were. “Look, Sheppard, I do like you – but only as a friend. Don’t get me wrong – I’m grateful for what we had and that you kept looking for me when I was gone, but now that I’m safely back in Atlantis, you need to move on. Your mission regarding bringing me home is complete. And our romantic relationship is over.”

Rodney hoped John got the message because he didn’t think he could take much more of this. He understood the whole ‘carrying a torch for someone’ thing and how hard it could be to let go – his crush on Sam Carter was a testament to that. And he was hoping he could let John down easily without bringing Chuck and Evan into it.

“Rodney,” John gave him the kicked-puppy look that used to work like a charm, “are you *sure* we can’t give it one more try *just* to make sure?” Damn, the man was persistent.

Rodney’s last straw snapped. “Okay, you know what? No. I take it back,” Rodney replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. “If you can’t let it go, even for one second, I can’t be friends with you.”

John blinked at him. “I don’t understand.”

Rodney threw his hands up in exasperation. “Of course you don’t! Time stopped for you when I got stuck on Lapras and now you’re expecting it to start again as if the past four cycles had never happened! I have a news flash for you! Time kept going for the rest of us! I’m not the person I was then and I don’t want to be! You –”

“Whoa there, buddy,” John interrupted, holding his hands up placatingly. “You’re starting to sound like Dr. Zelenka.”

Rodney huffed, most of the wind having gone out of his sails. “Yes, well. I can see the allure of using his native language from time to time. Look, I meant what I said – if you can’t let go of the past, I can’t be friends with you. Let Heightmeyer work her voodoo on you. She was doing a great job with me when I was seeing her before.” He pushed past a gaping John, hoping he had done the right thing.

After changing into his Lantean clothes, Rodney headed to the labs, glad for the diversion his current project would afford him. He was successful in putting all thoughts of John out of his mind for the next two hours.

He sighed when it came crashing back in while he waited for a simulation to run. He didn’t feel bad about what he had said to John – he knew that it was necessary for both of them to be completely clear with John about where he stood. And it hurt to see John in his current state. Rodney had always thought of him as a rock – unruffled by most anything, and least of all love.

And the fact that he, of all people, had been the one to undo the Colonel had to be the best cosmic joke of all time. It should have been a cruel twist with one of the space bimbos that was always throwing herself at him. That was how it should have played out – not with him, a middle-aged, grumpy astrophysicist with bad social skills, hypoglycemia, and a bad case of hypochondria, playing the part of the man-eater. But just the idea made him laugh – the sound of it bubbling out of him, until he covered his face with his hands and just shook with mirth. When he finished, he caught a few of the other scientists staring at him, but a glare sent them back to work.

He continued to laugh silently. It would figure – it would only happen to him and only in the Pegasus Galaxy would he fall in love with ‘the cool guy’, get left on a planet for four cycles, get rescued, and then fall in love with two *other* men – both of whom were gorgeous, intelligent, funny, *perfect* for him – while ‘the cool guy’ actually pined after him.

His thoughts turned to Chuck and Evan. He had been relieved to find that he hadn’t completely screwed things up and that they still wanted him. He could only attribute their calm in the face of all of this to the fact that they had had more time to get a grip on the whole threesome-triad-thing and that they hadn’t spent time on Lapras. He just wished he could be so completely certain of everything, as they were.

At this point, there was very little he was certain of. Aside from his love of science, desire for discovery and his slowly moving relationship with Chuck and Evan, there was really nothing here that he wanted to stay for. Not even his old teammates.

It had become absurdly apparent since his return how much he had changed during his time on Lapras. He didn’t have the clean slate here that he’d had on Lapras and he no longer cared for, or fit, the reputation he had originally cultivated. He had alienated a lot of people then and many of them were still wary of him. While he had been working on repairing those relationships, he knew that it was too late to become close friends with any of them. And, in general, the society was too different. He couldn’t talk to people in the same way that he could on Lapras. There had been a surprising openness there that had been developed by necessity. Here, they hardly talked, or touched – so it wasn’t like the pendulum had just swung the other way – and everyone was so closed off it hurt.

And the fact that no one seemed to be overtly interested in Lapras hurt. Intellectually, he knew that many of the anthropologists were in the middle of studying other cultures – even Dr. Tamoura – and that one day one of them would be able to get around to studying the Laprans, but he wanted to be able to share, to have someone understand. He knew that Chuck and Evan were curious, but more so because of the person he had become on Lapras, rather than about the culture in and of itself.

He had also been surprised at how much he missed his Lapran family. He used to be able to leave people without a second thought or lingering feelings, but now he thought of them frequently and missed them fiercely. He was going to have to talk to Elizabeth about going back to visit, regardless of the outcome, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to stand being apart from them forever. But her cool distance had surprised him and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was a byproduct of the past four cycles. He needed to make sure they were okay, regardless of their ability to keep going in the face of losing people suddenly. And he wanted to show them that he was doing okay and settling in fairly well to his old home. He smiled faintly and thought that he’d have to take Chuck and Evan with him to ‘meet the family’ as it were.

Maybe he could disguise the trip back to Lapras as a means for trade. He knew that while John, Teyla, and Ronon had sat down with most, if not all, of the other tribes, they hadn’t done so with the Laprans. True, there wasn’t much that Lapras could offer in the way of physical trading besides sand and silk, but he knew that a few of Atlantis’ trading partners would be interested in those things, and even if both sides just acted as intermediaries for other groups could possibly prove advantageous in a number of ways in the long run.

Seeing his simulation still had a while to run, Rodney pulled out some paper and a pen and started drafting a trade proposal for Elizabeth. He’d never done it before, having left this sort of thing more to Teyla and Elizabeth. He had always preferred the more direct, “There some interesting energy readings on Planet X. We should check it out – it could be a ZPM!” But he knew that if this had any chance for success, he would need to do it properly. By the time the simulation was done, Rodney was feeling pretty proud of his proposal and he typed it up and emailed it to Elizabeth.

“Feeling up to some food?” an accented voice asked as Rodney pulled up the simulation’s data to start correlating it with the rest of his data.

At the word ‘food’, Rodney’s stomach growled and he looked up at Carson. “Yeah, that might be a good idea,” he admitted as he looked at his watch and saw that it was definitely dinnertime and that he hadn’t eaten lunch – though he had a vague memory of eating a Power Bar while working on one of the many revisions to his proposal. His brow furrowed as he stood and turned off his laptop – his work could wait until the next day. “I think you should check me out again,” he told Carson.

“Oh?” Carson asked as they started to leave. “What’s been happening now? Are you sprouting wings? Do you feel like you’re turning into something else?”

“That’s not funny,” Rodney told him, his tone slightly insulted. “I had valid concerns for those claims. No, this time I think my hypoglycemia is acting weird.” At Carson’s raised eyebrow, he continued, “I had breakfast this morning, then sparred with both Teyla *and* Ronon, had some fruit afterwards, came here and got caught up in my work, forgot lunch and had a Power Bar at some point this afternoon and I feel fine. Well, normally hungry, but not – you know.”

“That is interesting, but not anything I’d be overly concerned about on any one day,” Carson told him. “I’m actually thrilled that you’re finally taking an active role in monitoring your health. How has your eating been generally?”

“Since I got back?” Rodney shrugged. “Good, I guess – better than it was before I left, at any rate. I haven’t had any coffee since I got back. Well, I tried once, but it tasted horrible and I felt a little shaky afterwards, so I haven’t tried any again since. Less candy – again, I tried some, but it didn’t taste quite right, so I haven’t gone back to it. Better balance at meals and I’ve been eating and sleeping more regularly, as well as exercising more.” He sighed. “I’ve become a poster child for good health, haven’t I?”

“You could say that,” Carson replied, amused. “I wouldn’t suggest throwing away your epi-pens or glycogen tablets just yet, but it does seem like you’re making progress. If you want to be completely sure, I wouldn’t mind taking a blood sample to check your blood sugar. It might be a good idea to do it anyway, now that you’ve been back in Atlantis for over a month. It’ll give us a good baseline for the future.”

“And you’re doing okay?” Rodney asked him.

“I believe so. Every day that I wake up is a good one, so don’t start with me. I get enough of it from everyone else. Including John.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Rodney told him seriously. “I think I broke him when I got left on Lapras.”

“And don’t start that either. We both know your time there wasn’t intentional and you didn’t know how he’d react to your absence. He confided to me about your relationship,” he admitted.

“Yeah, who would’ve figured I’d be the one to make him go psycho?” Rodney replied with a laugh and Carson smiled. “I wish he’d let it go – let me go. Seeing him like this is kind of scary.”

“I can agree with that,” Carson told him. “I would have thought he’d snap out of it once you were back and he could see you were safe and sound, but –”

“Yeah, I think that’s my fault too,” Rodney said sheepishly. “I told him I didn’t want to get back together with him.”

“Again – not your fault. Maybe now he’ll actually be able to start making some headway with Kate.”

“He’s been seeing Heightmeyer?” Rodney asked, surprised.

Carson nodded. “Once a week for quite some time now. Elizabeth’s been making him. He’s been holding out as much as he can from letting you go, and Kate’s been at a bit of a loss with what to do for him because it’s one of those odd cases where technically he’s fine – even though you can tell that he’s not quite right in the head.”

“Maybe I should talk to her,” Rodney mused. “I know it’s touchy with the whole patient confidentiality thing, but….”

“I agree, but it could be worth a shot,” Carson replied as they made a sudden detour. “We all want him to be better. Where are we going?”

“To see Heightmeyer. I have a feeling John didn’t tell her about our ‘little altercation’ the other day and he’s not going to tell her about the one we had today.”

Rodney felt better when they left Heightmeyer’s office. He had told her about his relationship with John and what had been happening since his return. She had thanked him and told him she’d take it under advisement for John’s next appointment.

“You have feelings for him, don’t you?” Rodney quietly blurted out as they sat down in the mess hall.

Carson gaped at him. “Is it that obvious?”

“Not really, but when you’ve gotten good at having to listen and observe every little thing, some things become easier to see. If we can ever get him over me and back on an even keel, I’ll gladly help you out.”

Carson scoffed, “I doubt that’s ever going to happen. He’s never looked twice at me – not even back before he met you.”

“We are talking about John here,” Rodney replied. “I think it’s safe to say that when it comes to relationships, he’s a tad obtuse. We’ll figure something out.” As if that was the final word, Rodney tucked into his food and Carson sighed before following suit.

Rodney sighed as he bussed his tray, followed by Chuck and Evan. Before he and Carson had eaten half of their meal, Chuck, Evan, and his old teammates had joined them. He enjoyed the camaraderie, and John even seemed a tiny bit more like his old self. But he knew when Chuck and Evan sat down that he was going to have to talk to them afterwards.

“So, where do you want to go?” Chuck asked.

“Let’s go back to my place,” Rodney replied, wanting to be on familiar ground. He needed for them to know what he was going through before everything went into meltdown and he couldn’t let them down like he had everyone else. “I need to talk to you two.”

They followed him quietly back to his place and as they walked, Rodney forced himself to take deep breaths and stay calm. He hated the whole ‘bearing his soul’ aspect of relationships – which was probably why all of his other relationships had crashed and burned. But he knew from experience gained on Lapras that he needed to do it if he wanted this relationship to at the very least survive, let alone thrive. And he did want it to thrive – partly due to his budding feelings for the men with him and partly because he was genuinely curious how this would work, and if they could make it work – if *he* could make it work.

Once inside his quarters, Evan and Chuck made themselves comfortable and Rodney began pacing, his nervousness having skyrocketed when he crossed the threshold. “I know I’m sounding like a broken record,” he finally said, “but I don’t know if I can do this. And I mean this in general,” he waved his hands expansively, “not just this,” he motioned in between the three of them. “I don’t think I belong here any longer. I don’t *feel* like I belong here any longer. If I’m honest with myself, I’ve been muddling through since I returned and it wasn’t like I expected. I expected things to just work again – maybe better in some cases, since I’ve changed but, honestly, they haven’t. Things are probably worse off. I put in a proposal today to Elizabeth to see about opening trade relations with the Laprans, since I know John, Teyla, and Ronon didn’t get to them when they were there. If she doesn’t approve it, I’ll probably look into going back to Earth. I’d rather go back to Lapras, but I doubt that’s going to happen. If I’m back on Earth, maybe I’ll be able to put all of this behind me and, well, I won’t be happy about it, but maybe it won’t hurt so much. I’m sure I’ll be able to work either at Area 51 or at the SGC. Or I could get out completely and maybe go to a private company or I could teach – I’ve had offers from a number of different universities; I’m sure that one of them would still be willing to take me. And maybe if I’m teaching, there could be hope for a few of the next generation of scientists.”

When he paused to take a breath, Evan stood and closed the distance between them. Taking Rodney’s face in his hands, he said, “Did you think this much on Lapras?”

Rodney blinked at him for a moment before asking, “What?”

“Did you second-guess and over-analyze yourself this much on Lapras?”

“No,” Rodney replied, looking at him slightly taken aback.

“And you’re the same person now that you were on Lapras?” His thumbs began gently stroking Rodney’s cheeks, grounding him.

“Yes,” Rodney said hesitantly, not sure where Evan was going with this.

“I think you should do here what you did there. Stop trying so hard and over-analyzing everything.”

“But things are different here,” Rodney told him, a slightly plaintive note in his voice.

“Yes, they would be – what with two totally different cultures and all,” Chuck replied as he joined them, wrapping one arm around Evan’s waist. “And?”

“And what?” Rodney replied with a huff.

Chuck rolled his eyes as he put his hand on the back of Rodney’s neck and began gently rubbing it. “Can you change that?”

“No,” Rodney replied, completely at a loss for where this was going and what they expected out of him. Oddly enough, he felt the same way he did the first few times Kirby led him through his meditation sessions and that realization comforted him. He took a deep breath. “So you two really think that if I just let go and not try to make everything work, things will miraculously get better?”

“Maybe not better, but definitely easier,” Evan replied with a small smile. “You know you can’t fit a square peg into a round hole, so quit beating yourself up while you’re trying to do it. You didn’t fit before and you’re not going to fit now.” Changing tacks, he asked, “What are you sure of?”

“Um,” Rodney opened and closed his mouth a few times. “I’m sure of where I sleep, of the food that I eat, that I’m a very useful member of the expedition, considering how many times I’ve pulled miracles out of my ass.” He gaped a few more times, thinking.

Evan looked him directly in the eye and asked, “Are you sure of us?”

Looking back and forth between the two of them, uncertainty in his eyes, Rodney replied, “I don’t know.”

“We’re sure of you,” Chuck told him.

“Really? Why?” Rodney blurted out. “I’m not exactly certainty material, if you know what I mean. My relationships tend to crash and burn – sometimes quite spectacularly.”

Evan gently kissed Rodney chastely on the lips, effectively stopping his babble. “Because we’ve seen you when you’re in your Lapran mode, or whatever you want to call it, and we’ve seen you when you’re over-thinking everything.”

“That’s a dumb reason,” Rodney told him, eyes narrowing. “Maybe even borderline idiotic.”

Chuck picked up Evan’s line of thought, “And we’ve seen how you’ve survived and thrived in a completely alien culture. If that’s not how we know that you’re one special guy, I don’t know what would be.”

“You’re both morons,” Rodney told them, stepping out of their embrace and wrapping his arms around himself.

“What can we do to prove to you that we think you’re worth it?” Chuck asked him.

“I don’t know,” Rodney replied, looking at the floor instead of either of them. He sighed. “I wish I knew.” He waved a hand at his head as he said, “I’m beginning to think my wiring’s faulty.”

“Maybe we can fix it,” Evan told him seriously.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Rodney scoffed, finally looking up at them. “That’s the lamest line I’ve ever heard.”

“What about maybe we’re supposed to fix it?” Chuck replied.

“I think that might be worse,” Rodney conceded, “but not by much.”

He appreciated the effort they were putting into this, into the three of them, he really did. But he couldn’t help but wonder if it was worth it.

“You’re over-thinking again,” Evan commented quietly, snapping Rodney out of his reverie. When had he gotten so close? He put his hands on Rodney’s elbows, gently supporting him and Rodney’s memory pulled out a similar scenario from not long before. Chuck’s hands came from behind to rest on Rodney’s hips, holding, but not confining, him and Rodney could ever so slightly feel his solidity against his back. “Let us help you. Let us prove to you what you mean to us.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Rodney asked, uncertainty evident in his voice.

“Don’t worry, we’ll think of something,” Chuck replied in his ear and Rodney couldn’t stop the thrill that went through him at the feel of Chuck’s warm breath on his skin and the sound of his voice.

Rodney closed his eyes and took a deep, slow breath. He wanted to believe them. He wanted to believe that they were right and that they could make this work. He wanted to believe that he really didn’t have to think so much, that things really could be as easy as they had been on Lapras.

After that night, things quieted back down.

Elizabeth told him she would take some time to consider his *lengthy* proposal and would get back to him. Rodney knew he had put more than enough into the proposal, but he knew that he only had one shot at it, so he had wanted to make sure that Elizabeth would see the opportunities he saw.

He continued working on his projects, slowly making progress and wishing he was able to publish his findings because the things he was discovering were so amazing that they shouldn’t be kept hidden – which they most likely would be in one the SGC’s vaults or at Area 51, if they even got back to the Milky Way galaxy.

And Chuck and Evan backed off. A little. Kind of. Not really. They were just more covert. Rodney should’ve known he shouldn’t trust someone with Special Ops training after he’d seen what John could do. And Chuck was just plain sneaky – but he probably should’ve figured that, considering how much time Chuck spent in the Control Room. He *knew* things.

Which was why he was getting fresh fruit first thing off the next Daedalus run. And why his Lapran clothing practically shone when Chuck brought it back from the laundry for him. He even found a small plant carefully packed into a paper cup on his workstation after one of Evan’s off-world missions.

That gave him an idea and he rushed off with it to the botany department to get a proper pot for it. While he was there, he asked Katie Brown, “This might be a long shot, but has the part of the Ancient database that deals with plant life been put onto our main server?”

“Yeah, it was done a while ago,” she replied, her brow furrowing as she tamped down the dirt around the plant. “I’ll admit, Rodney, you never struck me as the plant type.”

“Well, it’s a new thing,” he replied with a smile as he picked up the plant. “Thank you.”

He took the plant back with him to the lab and, smiling at it, set it on the edge of his workstation. He easily found the database and spent every available moment of the next few days combing through it. It was slow going due to the fact that it was still primarily in Ancient, with only parts of it translated into English and he only knew the Lapran names. But he eventually found all of the Lapran medicinal plants and made notes of their Ancient and English names. He also talked more with Katie to see which ones they had in the greenhouses and was happy to find that they had nearly all of them and the ones they didn’t were fairly rare anyway.

“I hope you found what you were looking for, Rodney,” Katie commented as Rodney took some toliara leaves to replace the ones that had become too dry.

“I think I did, thank you,” he replied distractedly as he checked the rest of his pouch to see if he needed to replace anything else, but it all checked out.

“I hope we’ll be seeing more of you down here now,” she told him with a shy smile.

Rodney had never understood the crush she seemed to be nursing for him – their one date had been a total disaster and that alone should have been enough to put her off – but it was almost cute compared to Sheppard’s. “We’ll see,” he replied with a smile as he hopped off the counter. “Have a good day, Katie,” he told her with a slight bow before heading out.

As he left the botany labs, Rodney mentally kicked himself for the fiftieth time for not doing this sooner. He knew that Atlantis had Carson and his competent staff, but Rodney still felt better knowing that his own bases were covered.

After detouring to the mess hall for a quick lunch, Rodney headed back to his quarters to leave his pouch and to change to go down to his lab. Chuck and Evan were waiting inside for him, and, before Rodney was able to process that and ask what the hell they were doing in his quarters, they were herding him out of the room and down to the Jumper Bay.

Halfway there, Rodney got his bearings again and asked them, “Okay, what the hell is going on? And why do you both have packs? Oh my God, you’re kidnapping me, aren’t you? I knew this relationship was too good to be true! Let me go!”

“We’re not kidnapping you, McKay,” Evan told him dryly. “Dr. Weir and Dr. Zelenka know what we’re doing and where we’re going.”

“Where exactly are we going?” Rodney asked them, looking between them.

“The mainland,” Chuck replied. “We’re going to be staying with the Athosians for a few days.”

“Ummm… why?” Rodney asked in his best ‘you all are insane’ voice.

“We figured that you needed to get away for a while,” Evan responded. “I think your return to Atlantis was more of a shock than you expected and that’s why you don’t feel like you fit in any more. I think once you’ve had some time to decompress in a neutral place with people you trust, you’ll feel a lot better.”

“Or I just don’t,” Rodney replied sharply. “And is that your expert opinion?”

“It is,” Evan replied as he entered one of the Jumpers and stowed his pack. Chuck followed suit and Rodney dumbly wandered into the Jumper after them.

“I hope one of you bothered to pack clothes for me,” Rodney told them as they started the preflight check. “Because I’m not wearing these clothes for however long we’re there, and I’m not going naked.”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got your clothes and stuff split between our packs,” Chuck told him off-handedly. “We wanted to be able to leave as soon as you got back to your quarters.”

“And what if I didn’t come back when I did? And how did you two get in, anyway?”

“We would have waited – or called you on your comm,” Chuck replied, still nonchalant, as Evan radioed the Control Room. “And we got in because you keyed us both in three weeks ago – remember? Something about trusting us and feeling weird that you were the only one who could get in there after there not being any locks in Lapras?”

“Oh, right,” Rodney huffed as he sat down behind Evan as Evan got the confirmation to go.

The ride to the mainland was fairly quiet. Evan worked with Chuck on his flying skills and Rodney sulked for part of the trip, feeling that he had been left out of an important decision regarding his own welfare. But he involuntarily sucked in a breath when they got their first glimpse of the mainland. He had forgotten how beautiful it was, and he avidly watched it draw closer for the rest of the ride. Evan landed them gently along the tree line along the head of the beach and not far from a solitary hut.

Once Chuck and Evan had disembarked, Rodney said, “I thought we were staying with the Athosians.”

“We are – sort of,” Evan replied. “Their settlement is about 45 minutes inland. Once we get settled, we should let them know we’re here.” He and Chuck turned and headed across the sand.

Rodney crossed his arms and stood at the top of the ramp. “I don’t know if I want to do this,” he told them.

“Why not?” Evan asked as they turned back to him.

“Because the two of you decided what was best for me without consulting me. What if I wanted to do it differently? Or not at all? And if I need mental help so much, I had a perfectly lovely relationship with Heightmeyer before all of this began and I would much rather go back to her than some *hack*.” He glared at Evan.

“You’re right,” Chuck told him. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. Let me think about it.”

He heard Evan sigh and the two men talk quietly as he headed off to walk along the water’s edge. As he reached it and turned to walk along it, Rodney couldn’t help but notice the symbolism of the sand and the water. Lapras and Atlantis. Below his feet they merged effortlessly and he wished he could say the same for the conflicting parts inside of himself. Could it really be that easy?

Could he really be both Lapran and Lantean without having to make concessions for either part of himself? He had never truly cared what other people thought of him before his time on Lapras. Did he now? Or was he simply trying to at least partially conform to the way people remembered him to make his transition back to Atlantis easier on everyone?

His concessions for Elizabeth were one thing. They allowed him the freedom he had in the labs that he desperately needed. But if he was truthful with himself, he knew he didn’t need to do or be anything for anyone else. Just as before, he honestly didn’t care if they took him or left him.

Going over the two months he had been back in Atlantis, Rodney realized that his best memories stemmed from the times when he wasn’t trying to be either one or the other. And he realized that he really was over-thinking things.

If it didn’t matter what people thought, then why did he care when they gave him weird looks for not talking very much, or for the whole day – which had happened once or twice? Or that he wasn’t yelling at people for taking the last bit of coffee and not starting a new pot. Or for not drinking coffee at all for that matter. They could think what they wanted and, as long as it didn’t interfere with his life or the lives of anyone else, he wasn’t going to worry about it.

Chuck and Evan on the other hand – Rodney sighed and looked back towards the Jumper and saw the men sitting in the sand in front of it. He did still enjoy their company and continued to look forward to the next time he’d see either one or both of them. And he did still have feelings for them that he wanted to explore. They just weren’t making it easy for him. He just didn’t like how they had a tendency to make decisions for him. Or not let him make his own decisions period. He knew he had to stand up to them – and the sooner the better.

Maybe this trip would be good for something. It could give them a chance to clear the air between the three of them. And it would be a good way for them to get to know each other much better and focus on their relationship to see if this was something that they really wanted to pursue. Also, he hoped that being away from their normal surroundings would let Evan relax. This way he could be himself and not have to worry about the stupid “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy his military had going.

Determined, Rodney headed back to the Jumper. “Okay,” he told them when he returned. “I’m willing to stay for the duration. *But*. I have certain conditions that need to be met; if not, I will either make you take me back to Atlantis, or I will swim back.”

“All right,” Evan replied, looking somewhat contrite for having masterminded the trip. “What are your conditions?”

“That this trip isn’t about me specifically. I realize what I was doing wrong, and I doubt it will be a problem in the future. This trip is about us as a relationship, group, trio, triad, whatever. We’ve been going about this whole thing in a really shoddy way, and I don’t want it to be over before it even truly begins.”

Both men nodded in agreement as Rodney turned on Chuck with a glare. “And you. Stop letting yourself get cowed into things in this relationship. I know you have opinions and a backbone – I’ve heard you arguing for Canadian hockey with those football-saturated flyboys and winning. If you can’t handle standing up to us –”

“Then I shouldn’t be here,” Chuck finished. “Got it. So, if we’re staying, I vote for going in and putting our things away.” He stood and Evan followed. They both snagged their packs as they passed.

The three men went inside and found the hut was not only clean and in good repair, but it was nicely furnished. One large bed was against the far wall opposite the door with clean sheets and blankets on it with a lush, but slightly worn, carpet underneath it. Closer to the door was a sturdy wood table with worn chairs placed around it. On top of the table was a basket of fresh fruit and vegetables, along with a few loaves of bread and a wheel of cheese. There was also a counter on one wall, along with a stone fireplace in the wall that was set up so a pot could be hung over the fire. There were also cabinets, a couple of chests, and a chest of drawers spread along the walls that no doubt provided storage space. Strategically placed windows let light into the room.

Chuck and Evan made a beeline for the bed and placed their packs down on it. They began unpacking them and putting things away in the drawers and on top of the dresser. Rodney looked around the large room, amazed at the workmanship.

“I see you found everything all right,” Halling said as he came through the door, Jinto following behind. “We bought some meat and cider. Firewood is stacked outside of the hut and it gets cool in the evenings. There are also some towels in one of the chests, should you decide to go into the ocean.” They began unloading their bags onto the table.

“This is amazing,” Rodney said, still looking around the room. Seeing Halling, he said, “Hello, Halling. Thank you for doing this for us.”

“You’re quite welcome, Rodney,” Halling replied warmly. “I’m glad to see you home safe.”

“Thank you,” Rodney replied with a slight nod, and Evan and Chuck joined them.

“How are your studies coming, Jinto?” Evan asked, wanting to include the young man in the conversation.

Jinto shrugged. “They’re coming, but they’re tedious.”

Halling laughed. “Anything that’s not playing ball is tedious.” To Rodney, he said, “Jinto is studying the ways of our people to be our next leader.”

“Good for you, Jinto,” Rodney replied, surprised at how much the young man had grown in the last four cycles. He was now almost as tall as his father – and he had a teenager’s ungainly grace.

Jinto flushed as Halling said, “We’ll leave now to let you three finish settling in. And feel free to come into the settlement whenever you like.” After giving the three men the traditional Athosian forehead touch, Halling and Jinto left.

“Okay, what can I do?” Rodney asked them.

“How about getting some water?” Chuck asked. “I saw two buckets outside.”

“I can do that,” Rodney replied with a nod and headed out, glad to be of some use.

He found the buckets and headed off along the trail, easily finding the well. The physical work felt good and Rodney found that he missed the chores he had been responsible for on Lapras. Soon enough, he was carrying two full buckets back to the hut and placing them inside on the hearth to keep the water cool. He also brought in some firewood and laid out the first fire in the hearth, laying the rest in the bin.

After that, he puttered around in the kitchen area to see what they had in the way of utensils and found a number of familiar items. Smiling to himself, he looked through the available food items and remembered a few recipes that he would be able to easily tweak for their current foodstuffs.

“What are you doing, Rodney?” Chuck asked affectionately as Rodney pulled out the large pot and set it on the table.

Rodney looked up to see Chuck lounging on the bed, an amused look on his face, and Evan pulling a drawing pad and a pencil case out of his pack. “I was going to start dinner,” he replied matter-of-factly. “I know it’s still a few hours away, but this needs some time to cook properly. Feel like helping me out?”

Chuck shrugged and went over to the table, where Rodney was setting everything out. “What do you want me to do?”

“You can start by cutting these up finely,” Rodney told him, handing him a crude knife and a few tubers that looked like potatoes.

“Are you sure this knife is safe?” Chuck asked skeptically, turning it over in his hands.

“Don’t worry – it’s at least as clean as your hands. The Athosians can’t afford food poisoning. Besides, you’ve eaten the Athosians’ food before.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t actually see them prepare it.”

“Rodney’s right,” Evan replied as he sat down at the other end of the table with a drawing tablet and some pencils. “It may not seem like it, but most of the more rustic cultures have a very good sense of cleanliness – they have to.”

With a doubtful shrug, Chuck began cutting up the tubers while Rodney cut off a small piece of the smoked meat. Rodney smelled the piece before gingerly tasting it. With an approving nod, he cut off a generous hunk of the meat and then cut that up into smaller pieces. He began throwing the meat into the pot, along with various other vegetables as he cut them up, and then finally the tubers.

“How about getting the fire started?” Rodney asked Chuck.

Chuck nodded as he went to get the matches from his pack, seemingly grateful for not having to deal directly with the food. Rodney finished up putting the stew together as Chuck, after moving the water buckets aside, checked the chimney and lit the fire. Rodney took the pot over and added a bit of water before mixing everything together, hanging it on the hook, and swinging the pot to hang over the fire.

“You know, I don’t think this hut’s completely Athosian in design,” Rodney commented as he straightened up.

“It’s not,” Evan replied, looking up from his drawing. “The hut was actually one of the anthropologists’ ideas not long after you left. They wanted it to be a mix of our two cultures.”

“What are you drawing?” Chuck asked as he broke out of his reverie from watching the fire.

Evan blushed slightly as Chuck approached him, and Rodney went to start cleaning up but was definitely still listening. “Oh, it’s nothing,” he replied, trying to brush it off and hide the picture. “It’s just some doodling.”

Chuck took the picture. “If that’s doodling, I’d like to see you actually try.” He took the picture over to show Rodney. It was a sketch of Chuck and Rodney working on the stew. Chuck was concentrating on cutting up the tubers and Rodney was throwing some vegetables into the pot with one hand, the other one loosely holding the knife.

“That’s really good,” Rodney told him as Chuck handed the tablet back to Evan. “You know, I don’t think I’ve seen any of your work and I know you’ve been doing it pretty consistently since I’ve been back.”

Evan shrugged and blushed a little bit more. “I’ve gotten so used to not talking about it or showing it around that it’s become second nature for me.”

“I think one of our rules should be that you have to show us what you’re working on,” Chuck told him.

“And I’ll second that,” Rodney added. He put the knives away and threw the tiny bit of refuse into the pail.

“So, how exactly did you become a master chef?” Chuck asked him as he sat down on Evan’s right. “You’ve told us a fair amount about Lapras, but I don’t remember that being one of your stories.”

Rodney shrugged as he sat down across from Chuck. “There’s not much to tell in that regard. Everyone there is taught how to cook. It’s one of their basic survival skills. I doubt I’ll win any contests, but I can respectably feed the three of us.”

Evan sighed as he closed his sketchbook and sat back in his chair. “I think we need to talk about us. I think we got off on the wrong foot and now it feels like we’re starting to veer wildly off-course.”

“I agree,” Rodney replied with a nod. “I know I’m not very good at this whole relationship ‘thing’, and I know that with my track record, I’ve been hesitant to jump into this relationship – as attracted as I am to the two of you, and as intrigued as I am with how it would work with three people. Hell, you both know that I’m not usually good at social interactions in general, though I will admit that I’ve gotten better since my time on Lapras – where I was forced to deal with a number of things and, in general, they didn’t really let me be alone.”

“You’re not the only one who’s scared about this relationship,” Chuck told him as he fiddled with his hands. “I’ve had my fair share of bad relationships and worse break-ups. But I want this to work. I see the two of you and my stomach feels a little weird and I can’t help but think that this is it – that this is right.”

“Six words,” Evan said, “‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Pursue’. I think we’ll be okay on the first two parts of that, considering how most people won’t care. But I’m going to completely disregard the third part, considering how much I want to pursue this, and I know that’ll get me into a lot of trouble if the wrong people find out at the wrong time. But I want this to work too – whatever *we* have to do to make it work.”

“I’m not going to lie,” Rodney told them. “I know that it’s going to be tough for me – just all of this in general. I’m still working through the fact that I’m both a Lapran and an Atlantean, and I should probably start seeing Heightmeyer about it when we get back. But if I can’t make it work on Atlantis, I might ask to be transferred back to Earth, since I doubt Elizabeth will let me go back to Lapras. Maybe I’ll even ask for some time off to go back to Earth for some leave or something and see if that helps me out at all. But if I do go back, I’m not going to ask the two of you to give up your positions in Atlantis. You both deserve your posts there.” He paused and his eyes widened. “Oh, my god. What about Jeannie?” He looked between the two of them. “She probably thinks I’m dead, doesn’t she? I’ve been so wrapped up in myself since I got back that I didn’t even think –”

“We told her that you went missing in action,” Evan told him, covering one of his hands with his own. “Sheppard wouldn’t let you be officially declared KIA. We hadn’t actually considered what would happen if we did find you, so I don’t know if she’s been told yet.”

“Oh, believe me, we would’ve heard if she’d been told,” Rodney told him. “I’ll need to email her or write her or something when we get back. And then she’ll probably kill me herself – or make me owe her for the rest of my life for putting her through that.”

“Let’s take things one day at a time,” Evan told him, gently squeezing Rodney’s hand. “And if the time comes, Chuck and I will make our own decisions about where we want to be.”

Chuck nodded and took Rodney’s other hand in his before taking Evan’s free hand in his. “I think we should just enjoy our time here and see what happens between the three of us. We already know each other pretty damn well with all the time we’ve spent together, so we should be past the awkward stage.” Looking over his shoulder at the pot on the fire, he said, “So, how long does that have to cook?”

“A few hours,” Rodney replied. He extracted his hands from theirs and went over to check on the stew, slowly stirring it before tasting it. “But it’s pretty self-sufficient; so as long as we don’t go too far, we shouldn’t have to stand over it.”

Chuck grinned as he stood. “Good, because we’re on vacation and I want to enjoy it.”

“How long exactly do we have here?” Rodney asked as he pushed the pot back over the fire.

“Four days,” Evan told him as he also stood. “So, what are we going to do first?”

“I think we should go swimming,” Chuck replied with an impish grin, and Evan smiled as well.

“We don’t have bathing suits, do we?” Rodney asked them, confused.

“Nope,” Chuck replied, his grin turning downright wicked as he quickly kissed Rodney on the lips before heading over to the bed, pulling his shirt over his head along the way. “Something tells me you’ve never skinny-dipped before, Rodney.”

“That’s an understatement of the century,” Rodney replied indignantly. “Do you know how fair my skin is? I’ll burn to a crisp!”

Pulling a tube of sunscreen out of his pack, Evan replied, “Then we better make sure we get *everything* – *thoroughly*.”

“You are both evil!” Rodney practically yelped as they advanced on him.

“But you still love us,” Chuck replied as he nuzzled Rodney’s neck.

Rodney let out a small moan before stepping back and taking a deep breath. “No. You two go. I’ll watch from the beach – where I won’t turn into a lobster.”

“Your loss,” Evan told him with a shrug. “But we will get you in the water before the end of the trip.”

The two men were out of the rest of their clothes and out of the hut so quickly, it made Rodney’s head spin. He grabbed some towels out of the chest and the sunscreen before heading out after them. They were already frolicking in the water when he reached the edge of the water, but still inside the safety zone where he wouldn’t get drenched. Rodney spread out a towel to sit on before slathering himself with sunscreen and sitting down to watch them.

Rodney couldn’t help but smile as he watched them. They were acting like little kids and considering the pressures they usually felt on Atlantis, he knew how good it felt to be relieved of them for a few days – even if they were only a quick radio call away.

As he watched, he also realized how much he was enjoying the view. They were both gorgeous – and that included the parts of them that he hadn’t seen when they had staged their little ‘intervention’. As he felt the lust settle in, he was glad he was still clothed and sitting on the beach.

And it made him wonder what they saw in him. He wasn’t good-looking by anyone’s standards. He may have lost weight and gained some muscle while he was on Lapras, but he knew his body was nothing amazing to look at and he didn’t have movie star looks and his mouth had the weird down-turn on one side. And he was still Rodney, regardless of the strides he had made.

Chuck and Evan came out of the water, both huffing slightly and grinning like fools. “You should come in, the water’s great,” Chuck said as he leaned down to grab a towel, excess water dripping onto Rodney.

“No, I’m good,” Rodney practically squeaked.

“Your loss – it’s amazing,” Evan told him as he threw down his towel. “Race you,” he said to Chuck.

They took off across the sand, running about 30 feet before the race devolved into the two of them pushing each other until they both fell into the water with a splash. Rodney shook his head as he watched the two of them, wondering what he was missing.

When Evan and Chuck finally wore themselves out, they happily sprawled out on towels on either side of Rodney to dry off in the waning sunlight. He hoped his shock at how unaware they seemed to be with their nakedness didn’t show. And he hoped he wasn’t staring – much.

“You have no idea what you missed,” Chuck told Rodney happily, affectionately patting Rodney’s hip.

“He’ll come around,” Evan replied from where he had an arm lazily draped over his eyes.

Rodney was more concerned with how he was going to get back into the hut without them noticing that he was half hard.

When the time came, it was actually easy enough – Chuck and Evan wrapped their towels around their waists and Rodney carried his in front of him. As they walked back across the beach to the hut, Rodney thought of everything he found to be unappealing and definitely not sexy and was able to get himself under control before they got inside.

While they were gone the stew had filled the hut with an appetizing smell, and both Chuck and Evan’s stomachs growled as soon as they got inside. And Rodney had to admit that he did feel a little off as it registered how hungry he had gotten. As he checked the stew – which was finished – Evan lit a few of the lanterns placed around the room and then joined Chuck in getting dressed. With much effort, Rodney gave his full attention to slicing some bread and cheese, finding bowls, cups, and utensils, and setting the table.

Evan stole a piece of cheese off the plate Rodney was setting on the table and, when Rodney glared at him, gave him a mischievous grin before a peck on the cheek. “It smells great, Rodney,” he said as he sat down and popped the cheese into his mouth, and Chuck joined them at the table.

Rodney blushed a little but didn’t say anything as he dished out the stew. The three men ate quietly and while Rodney was happy with how the stew had turned out, he hoped that Chuck and Evan enjoyed it.

“Is there any more?” Chuck finally asked.

“I think when we get back we need to overthrow the cooking staff and have Rodney cook for us,” Evan replied with a grin as he sat back.

Rodney blushed as he stood and got them both seconds, but inside he was pleased that it had gone over so well. Chuck and Evan helped him clean up when they finished eating. Afterwards, the three men played cards well into the evening before falling into bed wearing only their underwear.

Even though Chuck and Evan dropped off quickly, it took Rodney a little while to fall asleep. It finally hit him that they were really doing this and that he wanted it – badly. Tentatively, he burrowed his face into Chuck’s shoulder – who sighed and shifted slightly before falling back into a deep sleep, one hand over Rodney’s. Comfortable, Rodney fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning, however, proved a new challenge for him. Rodney woke up with a raging hard on. That wasn’t anything new. The bad part, however, was that he was pressed tightly against Chuck’s back, their legs tangled together. His arm was reaching across Chuck and holding on to Evan’s upper arm, and he could feel Evan had a good grip on his elbow.

Rodney slowly and carefully started to extricate himself from them, hoping he wouldn’t wake either of them, and that he could go take of himself without either of them being the wiser. But as he was just about done, both Chuck and Evan stretched and slowly opened their eyes.

“Good morning,” Evan said softly, smiling at both of them. And from the look in his eyes, Rodney knew right then that they were in the same situation he was in. This was just great.

“So,” Chuck replied nonchalantly as he turned onto his back. “Since all three of us are together…” he trailed off.

“I’m definitely game,” Evan replied.

Before Rodney was able to process what was going on, Evan had slid down the bed, pulled down Chuck’s underwear and taken Chuck’s erection into his mouth. Rodney watched in fascination as Evan swallowed Chuck’s cock. He watched as Chuck’s breathing became faster and harder as Evan’s mouth moved up and down on Chuck’s cock and, every so often would pause so he could swirl his tongue around the tip. The whole time, Chuck gently met Evan’s mouth with careful thrusts of his hips. Chuck froze and gasped and Rodney watched as Evan happily drank Chuck’s semen. When they had finished, Evan crawled back up the bed and kissed Chuck deeply. In the meantime, Rodney’s brain had caught up just enough to crash again at the sight of Evan’s mouth around Chuck’s cock and he felt a spark of desire flare and settle in his stomach, causing him to harden even more.

The next thing he knew, Chuck had pushed Evan’s underwear out of the way and had his hand wrapped around Evan’s cock and was confidently stroking it, his grip tighter on the upstroke and his thumb rubbing over the head on every pass. Evan’s eyes were closed and he was breathing through his mouth as he rocked into Chuck’s hand. He didn’t last long either and he buried his face in Chuck’s shoulder as he came into Chuck’s waiting hand, his whole body shaking. Chuck licked Evan’s semen off of his hand as Evan recovered, the whole time watching Rodney, who was staring at the two of them, mouth agape. Watching the two of them together was the hottest thing he had ever seen and he couldn’t believe this was happening to him.

“So, what’ll it be, Rodney?” Evan finally asked. “Care to join us?”

Chuck playfully walked two fingers down Rodney’s chest to his waistband and then withdrew his hand as Rodney’s hips automatically thrust forward a bit, his straining erection wanting release as soon as possible. Both Chuck and Evan laughed softly and Evan raised an eyebrow. When Rodney tried to respond, no words came out, so he nodded silently. Before he knew what was happening, Chuck was behind him and he and Evan had Rodney’s underwear down and they both had a hand on his straining erection, and they were slowly and surely caressing his cock. Rodney slowly closed his eyes and let himself get caught up in the sensation. He was sure their hands on his cock would overload him, but they knew exactly what to do to take him to the edge and hold him there. He had never felt so wonderful in his life and knew that no matter what apprehensions he may have had about this, about them, he was where he was supposed to be. Far too quickly he felt himself fall over the edge and ejaculated.

He took a moment to collect himself once he had finished before slowly opening his eyes to see Evan grinning at him and then lean into kiss him. When Evan pulled away, Chuck shifted behind him, and leaned over to awkwardly kiss Rodney as well. Rodney tasted semen on both of them and instead of grossing him out, it stroked the embers of desire inside of him. As they got up to start the day, Rodney felt that they just might make it and that maybe having sex wouldn’t be the end of the world – though time would tell on that one.

The rest of their vacation was a happy blur of swimming, playing on the beach, visiting with the Athosians, and enjoying every moment with Chuck and Evan. Rodney had never felt so relaxed and at peace in his life. They even managed to get him skinny-dipping the last day they were there and Rodney had to admit that it was one of the best experiences of his life – if only for the fact that when he finally dropped the towel that he’d had a death grip on since the hut, Chuck and Evan’s gazes were both openly appreciative and desirous.

That night, when they went to bed, they made love again. Chuck had actually initiated it by kissing both of them passionately before turning onto his stomach and telling them both in no uncertain terms that he wanted both of them to fuck him. Evan produced a tube of lube that he had hidden under one of the pillows earlier that day and looked at Rodney questioningly. Rodney swallowed dryly and nodded, wanting whatever was going to happen more than anything. Before they fell asleep, completely sated and happy, not only had they both made love to Chuck, but there had been a few blow jobs and hand jobs and who-knows-what-else.

They took their time the next morning to clean up the hut, stopping frequently to steal kisses or touches. Some of the Athosian women stopped by on their way to the ocean to get the dirty linens just as they finished.

Rodney sighed as they settle into the Puddle Jumper for the ride home. “I wish we had longer.”

“It’s not like we won’t be able to go back,” Chuck told him.

“I know, but…” Rodney trailed off and looked out the windshield. The rest of the trip was quiet – each man lost in their own thoughts.

When they got back to Atlantis, Rodney was feeling a little shaky and he fiddled with the strap of his medicinal pouch as he said, “Look, I know we said we’d unpack and then get lunch together, but I need to go get something to eat. I’ll catch you two later?”

Both Chuck and Evan nodded and waved him off, and Rodney hurried off to the mess hall. When he arrived it was packed with the lunch rush, and it took him a while to get through the food line and even longer to find a seat. He finally found an open seat by one of the windows. The other person occupying the small table was a heavily pregnant scientist – who Rodney was pretty sure was an archeologist, or possibly a meteorologist – he wasn’t quite sure.

“May I sit?” he asked.

“Please,” she replied with a smile. “Normally I don’t come now, but the baby wanted its lunch.” She placed a hand on her stomach.

“How far along are you?” he asked as he sat down.

“I’m due any day now and I can’t wait.”

“Congratulations,” Rodney told her.

They had a companionable meal and chit-chatted as they ate. She finished first and stood. “Have a good rest of your day, Rodney,” she said happily.

“You too, Mary,” he replied.

She took two steps and doubled over and Rodney was by her side instantly.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I’ve been having false contractions,” she told him, wide-eyed. “Carson said everything was fine, though, and that I should go about my day and told me what to look for with real ones. But I think my water just broke.”

Rodney tapped his earpiece. “Carson, we’ve got a woman going into labor down here in the mess hall.”

“Unless her life is in danger, I’m a little busy, Rodney,” Carson’s voice came over the radio. “We had two teams come in hot and they’re all banged up pretty bad.”

“Okay,” Rodney muttered to himself as he helped Mary back to her chair. Kneeling in front of her and taking her hands in his, he said, “Keep breathing steadily, Mary, okay?” She nodded. “You and your baby will be just fine.”

“Have you ever delivered a baby before, Rodney?”

“Yes – and both mother and baby were just fine. How are you feeling?”

“I’m doing okay – all things considered. But the contractions are coming frequently now.”

“Good.” He gave her a reassuring smile as he opened up his pouch. “Damn,” he muttered to himself. “I’m going to need more toliara leaves.” He looked up and saw an inquisitive crowd was starting to grow around them. “You,” he pointed at one of the Marines. “I need blankets and pillows now. And you,” he pointed at Katie Brown, “I need more of these.” He pushed the toliara leaves into her hands. Both of them blinked at him. “*Go!*” he bellowed and they jumped and did as he asked. “And as for the rest of you – go away! There’s nothing to see here! If you want to know how a baby’s born – go watch the Discovery Channel or ask Carson.” Some people sheepishly left, but many stayed.

Rodney gently massaged Mary’s knees as he watched her pants get wetter. “Okay, Mary,” he told her, “as soon as they get back, we’re going to get you comfortable and deliver that baby, okay?” She nodded mutely. “Have you picked out a name?”

“Scott if it’s a boy and Jill if it’s a girl,” she replied quietly.

“And the baby’s father?” he asked.

“He’s still back on Earth. I accidentally got pregnant just before I came, and I didn’t know. Once I did, I couldn’t –.” She looked away and blinked a few times.

“You’re going to be a great mother,” he told her reassuringly.

The Marine and Katie both showed up at the same time. Rodney helped them set up the blankets, then helped Mary lay down, facing the window to give her a little privacy. He helped her ease out of her pants and underwear and gave her a few of the leaves to chew on.

“They’re called toliara leaves on Lapras,” he told her. “They’ll help your muscles relax to ease the birth and they’ll also help ease the pain. They’re completely natural and non-addictive and will be out of your system in a few hours. If you need more, just let me know.”

She nodded again and Rodney began checking her out. He was thankful that she had wide hips – it would make the birth easier for both her and the baby. As he examined her vagina, he saw the baby was properly lined up and already starting to crown.

The birth felt almost anti-climatic to Rodney. The baby – a girl – came out easily and quickly with minimal work on Mary’s part and started breathing and crying almost immediately. Rodney cleaned up the baby as best he could with one of the extra blankets before wrapping her up in a clean one. He took the clean knife that someone offered him and cut the umbilical cord and tied it off with a piece of string from his pouch. Mary smiled as she took the baby from Rodney and he began cleaning her up.

“Would you all please move?” a voice asked loudly as Rodney finished. “I’m sure whatever you’re staring at isn’t as interesting as you think it is.” As the crowd began to break up, Carson broke through with a gurney. “I see you’ve got everything under control, Rodney,” he commented dryly.

“Yeah, that was something I kind of forgot to tell you,” Rodney replied, looking sheepish. “I got medical training while I was on Lapras. It’s nowhere near your level of expertise, but…”

“Well, let’s get Dr. Smith and her wee one back to the infirmary so we can check them out more fully.”

Rodney helped Mary stand and then he and Carson helped her onto the gurney. After draping a blanket over her lower half, he gathered up the rest of the blankets and her clothes before following them to the infirmary, where he dropped the items in the wash basket as soon as he arrived.

“Thank you, Rodney,” Mary said to him after she and the baby had been transferred to a bed and as Carson began checking her and the baby.

“You’re quite welcome, Mary,” he replied. “I gave her some toliara leaves, Carson.”

“Some what?” Carson asked, looking at Rodney confused.

“Some toliara leaves,” he repeated and handed them over. “They help relax the vaginal muscles and reduce the pain of childbirth,” Rodney added. “They’ll be out of her system in a few hours.”

“I’ve seen some references to these,” Carson commented before pushing Rodney to the side so he could finish checking out his patients and cleaning up the baby. When he was finished, he said, “Everything appears to be fine, but we’re going to keep you overnight, Mary, just in case.”

She nodded sleepily. “Thanks again, Rodney.”

“You’re welcome,” he told her. “I’ll be back in the morning to check on you and Jill.”

He left the infirmary and headed back to his quarters to clean up. On the way his stomach growled and he realized that in the process of helping Mary, he hadn’t finished his lunch and that it was now a few hours later – and dinner time.

“What happened to you?” Chuck asked when Rodney entered his quarters. Both he and Evan looked surprised and concerned.

“It’s not mine,” Rodney said as he stripped off his shirt. “Dr. Smith went into labor in the mess hall during lunch. And you two have to stop hanging out in my quarters. I know things are more relaxed now, but it’s not all that covert. Let me get cleaned up and we can go get dinner, if you two want,” he told them as he headed into the bathroom.

Rodney felt himself relax as they ate dinner. He was with his lovers and everything was okay for the time being. A few people also stopped by their table to congratulate him on the baby’s delivery.

“I have a feeling my email is going to be swamped for the next few days,” Rodney told them, putting his head in his hands.

“Well, I know a good way to take your mind off of it,” Evan told him and grinned as they stood to leave.

“So – movie in my place?” Chuck asked and they nodded.

Rodney stretched luxuriously as he slowly woke up. Every morning should start like this, he decided. After the movie at Chuck’s the night before, he and Evan had stayed and the three of them had gone to bed. They had taken their time getting to know each other’s bodies in a way that they hadn’t done on the mainland and he had never felt so loved as he did with them. He leaned in and kissed the nape of Evan’s neck before carefully extricating himself from the bed.

He knew that it was still early as he went through his morning ablutions and dressed, but he wanted to check on Mary and her baby while things were still quiet. And he knew that even if things were supposed to be better, he didn’t want to endanger either of his lovers. He kissed Chuck on the temple once he was done, casting a longing look at his two lovers curled up together in bed.

When he got down to the infirmary, Mary was awake and feeding Jill. “How are you two doing?” he asked her with a warm smile.

“Great, thanks,” she replied. “I don’t know how I can thank you for what you did yesterday. That was just amazing. I’ll admit – while I was okay with being pregnant and with the whole idea of having a child and being a mother, I was scared about the actual delivery part. You know – you always hear horror stories about how long someone’s birth took, or how much it hurt, or that something went wrong, or – I’m sure you don’t want to hear this. But when you stepped in and took charge as if it was as natural as, well, as eating lunch, I knew everything was going to be okay even if the scenario wasn’t anything like the one I had pictured where I’d be in the infirmary with either Dr. Beckett or Dr. Biro helping me and a lot of pain killers.”

“I’ve heard it said that a baby’s birth is one of the most natural things in the world,” Rodney told her. “And you have the perfect body for it. And you really did all the work. I just kind of helped out a little. But don’t worry about thanking me – I’m just glad you’re both healthy.”

“Well, then maybe you can help me with one final thing. Dr. Beckett wanted to know what I wanted to have the baby’s middle name be and I’m completely stumped.” She laughed. “If only you were a woman, I could name her after you.”

Rodney chuckled as well. “Well, I’ve always been partial to the name Meredith,” he told her.

“Jillian Meredith,” she said and smiled. “I like it. Thank you again, Dr. McKay.”

“After all that, I think you should be calling me Rodney.” Just as Rodney was about to say good-bye, his earpiece squawked and he paused. At first nothing happened, but then he heard a heavy thump and a groan and Rodney felt a chill run down his spine. “I’ll see you later,” he told Mary as steadily as possible before practically running out of the infirmary.

He made it back to Chuck’s quarters in record time. As he carefully entered, nothing seemed amiss. Then he heard a groan coming from the bed and he practically flew to it. Both Chuck and Evan looked like they had been run over and there was blood staining the sheets.

“Oh, god,” Rodney replied. He dropped to his knees by Evan who was now on the floor and still unconscious, and carefully checked him out. His pulse was weak and slightly erratic, but he was still alive. He breathed a sigh of relief as Chuck groaned again. Rodney was on the bed in a flash, carefully keeping Chuck from trying to move. “Shh,” he told him. “Don’t move.”

Chuck froze. “What happened?” he asked raspily. “Is Evan –?”

“I don’t know,” Rodney replied. “Evan’s alive – he’s on the floor. Just stay still – I don’t want you to do any more damage. I’m going to call for help.” He clicked his earpiece. “Carson, I need a med team with two gurneys to Chuck Campbell’s quarters yesterday. And make sure it’s one that understands the meaning of discretion.”

It took what felt like forever for Carson and the medical team to arrive, even though Rodney knew that logically it had only been a few minutes. None of them seemed shocked or surprised by what they saw, though Rodney was sure it was because they had seen worse than two men who had been badly beaten. Before he knew it, Chuck and Evan had been stabilized and carefully loaded onto the gurneys; sheets granting them a bit of modesty. He followed after them as they were whisked down to the infirmary.

“What happened?” Carson asked Rodney as the rest of the staff swarmed around the injured men.

“I don’t know,” Rodney replied, his eyes not leaving Chuck and Lorne’s still forms. “I was down here visiting Mary to see how she and the baby were doing and my earpiece clicked and I heard a thump. When no one said anything after that, I knew something had happened.”

“I have to ask,” Carson told him quietly. “Are the three of you involved?”

Rodney nodded, not trusting his voice and not wanting the perpetrators to hear him if they happened to be around. “Believe me – I did not do this.”

“I highly doubt you would, Rodney,” Carson told him sincerely. “Whoever did this was a coward for attacking two men who were doing no one any harm.” He patted Rodney on the arm. “Try to relax. I’ll have some news for you as soon as we get them situated.”

Rodney crossed his arms over his chest as Carson walked away. He shouldn’t have gotten involved with Chuck and Evan. He began pacing while he waited, not taking his eyes off of either of his lovers for very long. Maybe he should go back to Earth once he knew they were okay. That way they’d be safe. He may not be with them, but he’d rather have them safe.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. If this was the work of someone who was out to get him, he doubted they would have done it in such an oblique and subtle way. No, this was the work of someone who had found out about Chuck and Evan and had objected to it. And if that was the case, the expedition had serious problems. He took a few more deep breaths to calm and collect himself. Either way, freaking out wouldn’t help anything and Chuck and Evan would need him to be the calm one when they woke up.

Carson pulled Rodney into his office when he and his staff had finished and Carson closed the door. “We’re going to have to keep them in the infirmary for a few days,” he told Rodney. “The good news is that Lorne’s leg is still intact and that, as far as we can tell, none of their injuries are life-threatening.”

“And the bad news?” Rodney forced himself to ask.

“They both have multiple rib fractures and extensive bruising. One of Chuck’s ankles is twisted and his shoulder was dislocated. One of Lorne’s shoulders was also dislocated, but it had been reset, possibly from when he hit the floor – which could have also been what knocked him unconscious because he’s got a large bump on the back of his head. As far as we can tell at this point, there hasn’t been any damage to their internal organs. I’ve got them heavily medicated for the time being to keep them from moving and making things worse, and also to get them through the worst of their pain. But it’ll be a few days before the swelling goes down enough that we’ll be able to know anything. And I doubt they’ll be very cognizant until then.”

“Thank you, Carson,” Rodney replied. “I’m going to sit with them for a while, okay?”

Carson gave him a wan smile. “Please, be my guest. Let me know if you need anything.”

Rodney found a chair and settled himself between them.

“What’s going on?” John asked, his eyes narrowing, when he came into the infirmary. “Why is my second-in-command in a hospital bed?”

“Hello to you too, Sheppard,” Rodney replied coldly as he stood. “Your second-in-command is in a hospital bed because he and Chuck were attacked this morning while they were still sleeping. Apparently, someone isn’t happy that someone actually decided to take advantage of your little memo.”

“And why are you here?” John asked.

“I was the one that found them – the specifics of which are none of your business.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Why are you here?”

“I was coming to check on the other men,” John replied defiantly. “Any idea who did this?”

“None. Any idea if there was anyone who could have done it?”

John shook his head. “Lorne was liked by everyone. And, as far as I know, everyone liked Chuck too. Either that or he was, you know, hardly a blip on the radar. The ‘Gate techs don’t get a lot of recognition.”

“Ain’t that the truth?” Rodney muttered under his breath.

“So, Lorne and Chuck are together?” John asked with a raised eyebrow. “Are you sure that’s the reason?”

“Yeah, it’s been a pretty new development,” Rodney replied, not completely comfortable with discussing their relationship – his relationship – with John without them there to add their input. “And I can’t think of any other reason why anyone would want to beat them up – it’s not like they have anything anyone else would want. If you’ll excuse me, I have a few things to take care of.”

Rodney didn’t wait for a reply before stalking out. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with John and his shit. Add in Chuck and Evan’s beating, and he wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone. He headed back to Chuck’s quarters and began cleaning up.

He stripped the bed and put on clean sheets, not letting himself consider where – or how – Chuck had managed to get a bed big enough for the three of them. He threw the lightly soiled sheets into the laundry, thankful no blood had made it through to the mattress, before picked up Chuck and Evan’s clothes – which had been strewn about the room during a much more blissful event. He inspected the area around the bed and found that no blood had actually made it onto the floor.

Once that was done, he began gathering up his things – mostly CDs and DVDs, though also a few books and recent journals that he’d been given and a random shirt. He would have to arrange for his departure once he knew for certain that Evan and Chuck were on the mend. He didn’t want to cause them any more pain.

Rodney spent the next few days by their bedsides, feeling helpless as he watched their still forms sleeping. They had each woken a few times, but had been disoriented and a bit loopy from the pain killers and would fall back asleep soon after. Rodney only left the infirmary when Carson personally chased him out, insisting Rodney needed to eat and sleep, or he’d be useless for Chuck and Evan.

As he finished mending fences between one of the original scientists and a newer recruit on the fourth day, Carson’s voice came over his earpiece. “Rodney, could you please come down to the infirmary? Chuck and Lorne are asking for you.”

“I thought they were still on the heavy pain killers to help them heal,” Rodney told him, confused.

“We’ve been weaning them off of those, now that the worst should be over and the swelling is starting to recede. Besides, we needed to check them for brain damage. They’ve only really been cognizant within the past hour or so. We couldn’t exactly time that would happen and I doubt Radek would have appreciated me keeping you here.”

Rodney felt guilty that he hadn’t been there for when they woke, and wondered what they must have felt when they did. But today had been one of those days in the labs and Radek had need someone else with the know-how to help put out all the little fires that kept popping up. “Okay, I’ll be down right away.”

He quickly left the labs and made his way down to the infirmary, doing his best to move as quickly as possible without attracting any attention. Rodney paid no attention to most of the other occupants of the infirmary when he entered, though he did give Mary a small smile and wave. But he only had eyes for Chuck and Evan, both of whom looked at him as he entered, and they all carefully smiled.

“How are you two feeling?” he asked them. “Sorry. That’s a stupid question. I’m sure you both feel horrible.”

“That’s a reasonable estimation,” Chuck replied, taking Rodney’s hand. “How are you?”

“What do you mean, how am I? You’re the one in the bed,” Rodney replied indignantly.

“Keep breathing, Rodney,” Evan said from the other bed, as he took Rodney’s other hand.

Rodney did as he was told as he gently squeezed their hands, immensely grateful when they squeezed back. He sat down heavily in the chair that was still between their beds. He could have lost them. He could have lost them to some idiotic bastard who didn’t have enough sense in his head to know when to leave well enough alone.

“Sssh, it’s okay, Rodney,” Evan said quietly as he gently stroked the back of Rodney’s hand with his thumb.

“I could have lost both of you,” he told them as he blinked back tears.

“Or all three of us could be in beds right now – or worse,” Chuck told him. “Just be glad things turned out the way they did.”

Rodney nodded as he took a few deep breaths. “Carson knows about the three of us now, since I was the one that found you. And John knows about the two of you.”

“Well, he is smart enough to put more than two and two together,” Evan commented. “Does he know about you and us?”

“No. Things are crazy enough between us right now that I don’t want to add that into the mix. I’m sure he’ll come talk to you both at some point, though.”

“Well, John’s going to need to talk to us since he’s going to have to launch an inquiry,” Evan replied. “It’s a very serious matter when the second-in-command gets beaten up and there’s a chance that someone under him did it.”

Rodney hesitated before asking, “Do either of you know what happened?”

They both shook their heads and Evan said, “I remember you getting out of bed and wondering why the hell you would voluntarily get up if you didn’t have to, but then I fell back asleep before you left.”

Chuck added, “I never actually woke up until it was happening. Then I was more focused on the what than the who.”

Rodney took another deep breath. “I think that once this ‘thing’ gets settled and the two of you are back on your feet, I’m going to see about going back to Earth. I’m bad luck for whoever I get involved with. John’s a practically a basket case, Jaelyn died, and the two of you were nearly beaten to death.”

“Rodney,” Evan gently tugged on Rodney’s hand to get his attention. “What happened to Sheppard and Jaelyn wasn’t your fault. *This* wasn’t your fault. We all know how Sheppard is and if he was going to go into a major depressive state because of someone, it wouldn’t matter who the person was. You just happened to be the lucky guy who set him off. And, okay, yes, getting Jaelyn pregnant was your fault. But it wasn’t like you knew she would die because of it and did it intentionally.” Evan paused for a moment. “And as for Chuck and I – we probably could have been more discreet sometimes. It was bound to get out sooner or later – even with you unintentionally acting as our beard for a month and a half. Only so much could be explained by that.”

“But if you want to leave earlier,” Chuck added, “it’s up to you. We’re not going to stand in the way of your happiness.”

“No, I’m going to stay – at least for the interim,” Rodney told them. “I need to make sure you both will be okay, and I want to make sure that we find who did this to you and that he pays for what he did.”

“Are you okay, Rodney?” Evan asked, concern heavy in his voice.

“All things considered, just peachy,” he replied sarcastically. “Why?”

“Because you just went white as a sheet and clamped down on our hands,” Chuck told him. “Stay with us, Rodney.”

“Carson!” both Chuck and Evan bellowed.

“What’s going on now?” Carson asked as he came out of his office. “You two should be resting not yelling for me to fluff your pillows – especially when Rodney’s perfectly capable of doing so.” He caught a glimpse of Rodney and moved into action. He grabbed a piece of hard candy from his desk and, after unwrapping it, popped it into Rodney’s mouth. Rodney reflexively began sucking on it.

A moment or two later, the color started coming back into Rodney’s face and he slowly relaxed his grip on his lovers’ hands. He took a few deep breaths. “Okay, maybe I’m not feeling as good as I thought.”

“When was the last time you ate, lad?” Carson asked him softly.

“Um....” Rodney thought for a moment. “Last night. I got up this more and came in to the infirmary to check on Chuck and Evan before Radek called me down to the labs to help deal with the insanity before you called me back.”

“I want you to go down to the mess hall and eat a good meal. I don’t want you back here until you do. Neither of these two lads is going anywhere for a while and we can watch over them until you get back.”

Rodney looked questioningly between Chuck and Evan as they released his hands.

“If you don’t get moving, I’m going to get out of this bed and make you go myself,” Chuck told him. “You’re not any good to us if you can’t take care of yourself.”

“I agree,” Evan replied. “I’ll kick your ass down there if necessary. Besides, this will give us a good chance to get some more beauty sleep.”

“Okay, I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Rodney replied as he stood.

Rodney headed out of the infirmary after one last look at both men, wishing he could do something more than just hold their hands, but knew he was lucky he was able to do that much.

Rodney’s hope for a quick and quiet lunch was quickly shattered when he got person after person asking about either Mary and her baby or Chuck and Evan. How the information about Chuck and Evan had gotten out so quickly, Rodney didn’t know, but he wanted everyone to stop. It felt wrong giving everyone vague details about their condition and having to obfuscate the truth about their relationship.

Rodney was immeasurably glad when John appeared and told the small crowd that had formed to go away before he sat down with his own tray.

“Okay,” John told him without preamble. “We’ve got to do something about this.”

“What ‘we’?” Rodney replied, his eyes narrowing. “And what are you talking about?”

John dropped his voice so only Rodney could hear him. “I’m talking about what happened with Chuck and Lorne. We have to find out who did this and make sure they’re disciplined. I don’t want people to think they can get away with doing whatever they want here. And we as in you and me. I know I’ve given you a lot of shit lately and I’m sorry for that. But, if you’re willing, let’s put that aside – at least until we dealt with what happened to Chuck and Lorne.”

Rodney sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “If you’re using this as a bid to get back into my good graces, you can forget it. I’m sure you’ve got enough people to help you with your investigation.”

“You’re right, I do have enough people,” John replied as he leaned forward. “And I’m not – well, not intentionally. I know that all three of you are good friends and I thought it would make all three of you feel better if you were helping me lead the investigation. Plus, you know them the best out of anyone and could give us the best insight to what might have caused this. And if it helps us become friends again, that would be great. Heightmeyer told me about your talk and how you were worried about me. She’s going to be giving me shit for the next few weeks to make up for me holding out on her.”

“Maybe you deserve it,” Rodney replied shortly as he began eating again. “You’ve needed someone to kick your ass.”

“So,” John continued. “Will you help me?”

Rodney pointedly didn’t answer him for a few moments – both to let John squirm for a bit and also to give himself time to think about it. It would definitely feel good to make sure that the perpetrator was found and punished. As Chuck and Evan’s bound friend, he owed it to them to do so. And maybe, just maybe, it would help him even the score against whatever Fate was having fun at the expense of his love life – a kind of cosmic ‘take that, you’re not taking them that easily’. But the only way for that to completely work would mean he would then have to stay in Atlantis with them. And he didn’t know if he could do that. He didn’t want them to be subjected to any sort of cosmic backlash from his actions either.

He sighed and figured he’d take things one step at a time. “Okay, I’ll help you.”

John grinned. “Great. We can get started after we eat.”

Stepping into John’s office, Rodney said, “I didn’t know you had an office.” Looking around, he added, “It’s cleaner than I expected.”

“Very funny,” John replied as he locked the door behind them. “Can you think of anyone who would want to do this to either of them and why?” he asked as he sat down at his desk and began rooting around in his desk.

Rodney shook his head as he began pacing. “No. They haven’t mentioned any problems with anyone and I haven’t seen or heard anything. Lorne mentioned a few times that some of the Marines were grumbling, but that it was normal stuff – training schedules, mission schedules, things like that. And Chuck seemed to be friendly with everyone. I think Miko Kusenagi held a grudge for a while because he beat her in chess a few times, but, again, not something to nearly beat him to death over. Besides, we are talking about Miko, here. She wouldn’t have the strength to beat up Chuck, much less both of them, and she got her revenge on him last week anyway when she beat him in three moves. Do you know anything?”

John shook his head as well. “No, Lorne’s always been an exemplary officer and has done whatever he could to be fair to the rest of the soldiers here. So, as far as I know, they might have grumbled, but they knew he wasn’t giving anyone any preferential treatment. And everyone seems to love Chuck from what I’ve seen. Plus, the ‘Gate techs seem to have a bit of security from the fact that they work in the Control Room and know all the important stuff that’s going on as it happens. They’re prudent with handling what happens there, but I think everyone else feels like it’s in their best interests to not harm them.” John grinned. “The ‘Gate techs are the ones that run the grey market and keep the gossip mill going, you know.”

“I knew it!” Rodney remarked. “They’re low enough on the totem pole that people don’t usually give them a second thought and they use it to their advantage. Chuck never admitted to it, though.”

“Yeah, well,” John shrugged. “It’s not like the grey market is completely sanctioned by Elizabeth, so they keep it as hush-hush as possible, even if everyone knows about it. But they’re definitely the go-to people if you want anything.” He sighed as he opened up his laptop. “I really don’t know where to go from here. Do you think they might have been threatened over email and didn’t say anything to you?”

“Not to my knowledge,” Rodney replied, but he knew they hadn’t. “I’m sure they would have said something if they had.” Plus, he had been with them the last time they had checked their emails and had actually looked over their shoulders as they read. It had been kind of hard not to when they were all curled up on Chuck’s bed.

“Okay. We need to get organized – figure out how we want to question people. Make sure people have alibis and good reasons to not be at the scene. We’ll need to check that out too.”

Rodney looked sheepish. “I already cleaned it up. I needed something to do while Carson was working on them. I can give you a perfect description, though. I doubt I’m going to be forgetting it any time soon.”

“What were you doing there, anyway?” John asked.

Rodney hesitated, not wanting to tell John he had been there because he had a feeling something was wrong. “I was there because I wanted to see if Chuck was going to breakfast,” he finally obfuscated, hating that he was doing this to his former best friend. And he winced inwardly, knowing what would probably happen when the whole truth finally came out. If things had been okay, Rodney would have seen if Chuck wanted to go get breakfast. “I think we should start by seeing if anyone has an ax to grind either about gays in general, or about your memo, or both even. I hate to burst your bubble, but telling someone to ‘shape up or ship out’ isn’t exactly the best way of weeding out people who would have a problem. Being marked a bigot could be as bad as being marked gay.”

“Good point,” John replied. “But let’s not conclude that’s the reason for why they were beaten up.” He sighed as he pulled up the duty roster. “Okay, I think we can weed out the people who were on duty this morning in other parts of the city that would have no way of being there.” He tapped a few keys. “And I’ll confirm that they were actually at their posts.”

“I think you should also look at the scientists too,” Rodney replied. “At this point we have no idea who did it or why. I can tell you who would most likely be in the labs this morning and I’m sure we can corroborate that with Atlantis’ security feeds.” He paused for a moment before adding, “And we might want to consider more than one person. Considering the speed and brutality of the attack, I highly doubt it could have been only one person.”

“And you would know that how?” John asked as he looked up from the computer, his eyes narrowing. “Is there something you’re not telling me, Rodney?”

“I’d rather not discuss that right now,” Rodney replied. “But I promise that I’m not lying to you.”

“Okay,” John replied with a glare. “Who would have been in the labs this morning?”

Rodney ticked off the names easily. And each person he mentioned, he couldn’t believe would do that to them. As he finished, he said, “Put me down too – that way you know you can trust me. I was in the infirmary.”

John dutifully entered the names into his laptop and ran them, along with the names of his men, through a program to check Atlantis’ logs for their whereabouts at the time of the attack. As the names were slowly checked off the list and people were ascertained to be in their correct places, John commented, “One of the computer programmers developed this program a while back as a safe guard in the event that something happened – something about human nature. I had hoped we’d never need to use it.”

“And hopefully we won’t have to after this,” Rodney replied. “What are we going to do once we find whoever did this?”

“Well, if they are military, they’ll be shipped back to Earth for some severe penalties and possibly discharged. If they’re scientists, they’ll be deported as well, but after that, I don’t know. I doubt they’ll get off lightly, though.” The computer dinged. “Everyone checks out. At that time of morning, though, that still leaves a lot of people that could have done it.” John pressed a few more buttons to send the list to two data pads.

Rodney sighed. “I’ll talk to Radek and Elizabeth about being the civilian liaison for the investigation,” he said. “I doubt Radek will have a problem with it, considering how fond he seems to have become of Lorne since he started showing up in the labs with me. And I think he’ll be grateful that he won’t have to worry about finding someone to do it and keeping tabs on them.”

John picked up the data pads and handed one to Rodney. “Let’s get this show on the road,” he said as he stood. “I want to make sure people know that while I’m a laid-back kind of guy, I’m totally serious.”

As assumed, Radek was totally compliant with allowing Rodney to be in charge of the investigation and allowing them complete access to whatever they would need during their investigation. He even offered to be questioned first as a show of goodwill. They thanked him for the offer and told him they’d get back to him once they talked with Elizabeth.

They arrived at Elizabeth’s office at the same time she did. “I was just down in the infirmary,” she told them as they followed her into her office. “I take it the two of you are on top of this? And Radek has signed off on your involvement?” she asked Rodney.

“We are and he does,” Rodney replied with a slightly defiant tilt of his chin, as if daring her to question his role in the investigation.

“Good,” she replied simply as she sat down behind her desk. “I want regular reports on what’s happening. I don’t like that someone could have thought that this would be acceptable behavior and unstable enough to actually follow through with it. How far have you gotten?”

“I’ve already talked with Rodney about this, since he’s good friends with Chuck and Lorne, but we haven’t gotten very far in regards to motive or who might have done it. We’ve been able to rule out who couldn’t have done it,” John told her. “And we’re headed down to the infirmary now to talk to Lorne and Chuck and see what information they can give us. Hopefully that’ll help us narrow the list down even further. We’d rather not have to question everyone on the base.”

“All right, keep me posted. You’re dismissed.”

The two men nodded and headed out without another word. As they headed down the hall, Rodney remarked, “I’m surprised she didn’t put up more of a fight to keep me out of this.”

“I think she figures that you’ll keep me in line and keep me sane,” John comments.

“She might want to worry about it being the other way around,” Rodney told him, deadly serious. “They’re my best friends, John. I want blood.”

“I’m not going to promise anything,” John told him, “but let’s just say that I might not stop you if the situation presents itself.”

“Thank you.” Rodney didn’t really know what he would do, if faced with Chuck and Evan’s attackers. His normal response to give them a good tongue-lashing and then possibly beat them with a blunt object had been tempered by his time on Lapras, and the thought of leaving them out on the North Pier for a night or two sounded appealing as well. True, it was a harsher form of Lapran exile, but it felt fitting. The cold wind and the freezing spray would definitely give them second thoughts about doing it again and should serve as a fitting warning to anyone else.

“How are you two feeling?” Rodney asked Chuck and Evan as he and John approached their beds.

“Carson’s got some pretty good stuff,” Evan replied with a slightly goofy smile. “There definitely isn’t any more pain.”

“I concur,” Chuck replied with a tired smile.

“Who would’ve thought, Evan, you can’t handle a little morphine,” Rodney replied, unable to completely keep the affection out of his voice. “We need to talk to both of you about this morning.”

“We told you already,” Chuck pouted. “We don’t know what happened. We were sleep soundly – and we thought safely – and the next thing we knew, we were here, not feeling so hot.”

“So neither of you remember anything?” John asked.

“Nothing that would be of much help, sir,” Evan replied. “Things tend to not be very clear when you’re not completely cognizant to begin with and you’re more concerned with personal safety.”

“I don’t think we’re going to get much more out of them,” Rodney told John quietly. “They told me the same thing earlier. Let’s go talk to Carson about their injuries. Maybe that’ll give us a lead on who to question first.”

When they left the infirmary, Rodney felt more relieved at knowing that neither Chuck nor Evan had sustained any life-threatening injuries, even if they were going to be confined the infirmary for the time being to give them time to heal and to keep them safe. But they hadn’t been able to get much other information out of Carson. It had been an old-fashioned flesh-on-flesh sort of beating.

“Well, that should narrow things down a little bit, at least,” John replied. “There can’t be too many people out there with bruised knuckles. Though, I’m sure they probably got a few kicks in too, if Chuck and Lorne have some fractured and bruised ribs.”

“Lorne’s got the worst luck lately,” Rodney remarked. “First a broken leg, and now this. I’m surprised he hasn’t considered transferring back to Earth. It might be safer.”

“He’s as much a lifer as we are,” John commented. “I think the only way he’d go back to Earth permanently is if he died and didn’t leave a will that expressed his wishes. Let’s go start talking to people.”

Rodney quickly lost track of time as he and John tracked down people and questioned them. He was surprised at how unsurprised people were that Chuck and Evan were together. It seemed like everyone either knew or figured. And a couple people even made snide comments implicating Rodney with them as well. He did his best to ignore them.

Both Rodney and John were surprised at how many people seemed to be against homosexuality. But they were thankful that most of the people they talked to thought it was wrong, but didn’t care who did what behind closed doors as long as it didn’t put anyone in danger.

It took them two days to go through everyone and by the time they were done, only a small handful of people remained on the list. They were people who were vehemently against gays and whose whereabouts couldn’t be corroborated by either anyone else or the computer system.

“This may be a stupid question, since I’m so tired,” Rodney said as he laid his head on his arms. “But, why haven’t we just checked the feeds for Chuck’s quarters and the hallway outside at the time of the attack?”

“Because we already did,” John told him with a tired sigh as he put his feet up on his desk. “It was one of the first things we did after we talked with Chuck and Lorne, remember? The Ancients didn’t set up video cameras in their quarters and the hallway outside of Chuck’s quarters had been tampered with. That’s why we’re going about this the old-fashioned way. Okay, we’re going to have to question these guys again.”

“Colonel Sheppard?” a tentative voice came from the doorway.

“Come on in, Miller. What can I do for you?” John asked.

“I have some information about the investigation,” he replied hesitantly.

Rodney’s head shot up and John’s feet hit the floor. “Why didn’t you come to us two days ago?” Rodney barked.

“Because I just found out,” Miller replied nervously. “By accident,” he added quickly.

John shut the door behind Miller and locked it. “Out with it,” John ordered him.

“It was Captain Lorson and Dr. Zevtsky. I heard them gloating about it and how they were never going to get caught.”

Rodney grabbed John’s data pad and pulled up the list. “They probably would have gotten away with it too,” he told John. “They’re not even on the list. And Zevtsky is a computer engineer. He could have easily hacked into the feeds and fixed the system and also made sure the program didn’t pick up that he and Lorson weren’t where they were supposed to be.”

“Thanks, Miller. You’re dismissed,” John told him as he stood. “We’ll take it from here.”

“They were down in the mess hall a few minutes ago,” Miller told them before he left.

“Feel like getting a snack?” John asked Rodney.

John and Rodney marched a mutinous Lorson and Zevtsky into Elizabeth’s office a few minutes later and pushed them down into chairs in front of her desk.

She looked up at them, confused for a moment before realization dawned and her mouth set in a grim line. “I see you found them,” she commented. She tapped her earpiece and said, “Dr. Zelenka, please report to my office.”

“You can’t do this to us,” Zevtsky said, starting to get up, but Rodney’s firm hands kept him in his seat. “We have rights.”

“So do Lorne and Chuck,” Rodney told him. “And right now I think they’d be pretty happy to know that the two of you are in custody.”

Radek appeared in Elizabeth’s doorway and Elizabeth shut the doors and darkened the glass to give them some measure of privacy.

“So what do you two men have to say for yourselves?” Elizabeth asked them.

Lorson continued to glare mutinously straight ahead and didn’t say a word, but Zevtsky hotly answered, “They deserved it. What they’re doing is unnatural.”

“That doesn’t mean you have the right to practically beat them to death,” Rodney told him, as he clamped down on Zevtsky’s shoulders, satisfied at the slight whimper his grip produced.

“You two are to be held in the brig until we get everything in order to send you back to Earth,” Elizabeth pronounced. “And, Rodney, I know you want justice, but if they don’t go straight to the brig and stay there – unharmed – until it’s time for them to leave, you’ll be going with them. John, I trust you’ll make sure he doesn’t earn himself an unnecessary ticket home.”

They both nodded as they hauled the offenders to their feet and marched them out of the office.

Once the men were in the brig, John pulled Rodney away and escorted him to the infirmary. “I think we have our work cut out for us,” John commented on the way. “I didn’t think that many people shared that view, and apparently just a memo won’t work. We’ll need to implement something larger – some sort of sensitivity training or something. Care to help me out?”

“Maybe,” Rodney replied, in a quandary now as to what to do. Evan and Chuck would be released within the next few days and after that he would have to make a decision. But that could wait. “Right now I just want to check on Lorne and Chuck and then get some sleep.”

Rodney went back to his quarters that evening mentally exhausted and emotionally drained. The adrenaline from the past few days was slowly filtering out of his system, leaving him weary and wanting to sleep for the foreseeable future. He curled up on his bed, hugging his pillow to his chest, but sleep didn’t come.

He could have lost Chuck and Evan because of some intolerant assholes and their desire to force their way onto other people. Scratch that – intolerant *cowardly* assholes who couldn’t even confront two men in broad daylight. They had to be cowards if they felt their only recourse was to wait until their victims were asleep before making an example of them. If only he had been there, in the room, then maybe Chuck and Evan wouldn’t be in the infirmary right now. Granted, he would have also been asleep, but still – three against two was a better set of odds, making it more likely that someone would be able to help or get help.

He took a deep breath and fought back the grief and guilt that threatened to consume him, knowing that if he allowed it to, he wouldn’t be able to help either Chuck or Evan in any capacity. And he knew they would need him in the coming days as they healed and started picking up the pieces. He couldn’t imagine what they had to be going through – especially Chuck, since the attack had happened in his quarters.

Elizabeth may not have let Rodney have his revenge, but he was going to make sure justice was carried out. During the rest of Chuck and Evan’s recuperation, Rodney was going devote his time to helping John get his sensitivity training, or whatever it ended up being, off the ground. He wanted to make sure that the minorities on Atlantis were, and felt, safe.

The next morning at breakfast, Rodney told John, “Okay, I’ll help you. *But*. I’m not going to be your full partner in this or do all your work. I’ll help you get it running, but then I’m backing out and it’s up to you – this is your baby.”

John nodded. “Fair enough. Will you be willing to help out from time to time if I need it?”

“If necessary and on a case-by-case basis. This is your brain-child, John – you’re going to need to figure out how to make it swim instead of sink. And I’m not going to let you use it as a way to spend time with me.” He stood. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to head down to the infirmary to see Chuck and Lorne before I head to the labs. Radio me once you have something and we can go from there.”

As Rodney walked away, he was conscious of the fact that he was being unwarrantedly short with John. But he wanted to make sure the other man was aware that there were different boundaries in place than the ones John had been holding on to, and he figured that the more he enforced them, the quicker John would get used to them.

When Rodney entered the quiet infirmary, Evan said to him, “If you apologize one more time, Meredith Rodney McKay, I will go against doctor’s orders and get out of this bed and kick your ass.”

Rodney opened and closed his mouth a couple times and blinked at them before saying, “Good morning to you too, Evan. Good morning, Chuck,” he said as he sat down between them.

“Don’t I get my morning kiss?” Chuck asked mischievously.

“What is it with you two?” Rodney asked them as he stood and gave first Chuck, then Evan, a quick peck on the forehead. “Maybe you’ve been in these beds for too long and the fumes are starting to get to you.”

“They’ve been in the beds just long enough, thank you,” Carson replied as he came in with their charts. “And from the looks of things, they’ll be ready to go home within the next week or so – with a few provisions, of course. I want to make sure their ribs are a little further along before I release them.”

“If I come in again with something serious next month, do I get a prize, Doc?” Evan asked him with a slightly devious smile.

“You’ll get a firm swat on the backside is what,” Carson told him, tapping him on the leg with his folders. “I usually don’t advocate this, but I just might have to wrap you in cotton and not let you go anywhere for a while.”

“Good luck with that one, Carson,” Rodney told him. “I had a hard enough time telling him what to do when he was shadowing me.”

Once Carson had left them alone again, Rodney said, “What do you two think about leaving here? Will you be okay in your quarters, Chuck?”

Chuck shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know. I want to believe I’ll be okay when I go back, but I won’t know until I get there.”

“Don’t force it, okay?” Evan told him. “If you don’t feel comfortable, you can stay with one of us. Or we can help you find a new place.”

“Let’s just take things one step at a time, okay?” Chuck asked as he patted Rodney’s arm. “Right now I just want to get better. And considering that I don’t remember much, it may not be an issue.”

“How’s Sheppard handling all this?” Evan asked with a small wince as he shifted on the bed.

Rodney shrugged. “The two of you seem to be a non-issue. It’s everything else that’s a problem. I told him I’d help set up a sensitivity training, and I’m hoping I don’t regret it.” Rodney really did hope that things would get better with John – he didn’t want to lose him as a friend. He just hoped John wasn’t waiting to try again.

“I doubt you will,” Chuck told him. “I think it could be a good experience for both of you. And just remember that if John becomes too much, the two of us will help you out.”

As they talked, Rodney felt himself relax. Chuck and Evan were healing nicely and were no longer in any danger. And they weren’t going anywhere either – Rodney had been hesitant to voice, even to himself, his fear that after this they might decide to go back to Earth because the Wraith and angry natives were one thing, but fellow Expedition members were something else entirely. They also helped him brainstorm a few ideas for the sensitivity training. Carson finally forced Rodney out after lunch, telling him he’d only let Rodney back into the infirmary after they had dinner together.

“How are they doing?” Radek asked when Rodney entered the labs still wearing his Lapran clothing.

“They’re doing okay,” Rodney told him. “Physically, they’re healing well, but we won’t know how they’re doing psychologically until after they’re released. I’m sorry I haven’t been in much the past few days.”

“It’s no trouble,” Radek told him with a pat on the arm. “You do what you must to take care of the ones you love.”

“What? Are you –?” Rodney looked at him, baffled. “Am I really that transparent or were you using some sort of Eastern European voodoo on me?”

Radek chuckled. “Take your pick, Rodney. Either way, I’m glad to see you happy. You deserve it.” He started to leave, but turned back and quietly asked, “Is anything going to be done about what happened? I don’t like that it happened here. I thought we were all above that – especially after the things we’ve seen and experienced. And one of them was a scientist.” Radek shook his head, his mouth a grim line. “Our productivity is going down. No one feels safe here.”

“John’s working on a sensitivity training program. If I were you, I’d talk to him. Let him know what you’d like to see, what your concerns are, all of that. It’ll be a better success if John’s got input from other people. Let the other scientists know too. I think telling them would go over better coming from you.”

Radek nodded. “Thank you, Rodney. And let me know if you need anything.”

“I will. Thank you, Radek.” As Radek left him, Rodney was surprised at how easily Radek had accepted him being with Chuck and Evan. The difference in reactions amazed him. On one side were Carson and Radek – both of whom knew and were supportive of the three of them being together. And on the other side were the morons who only knew that Chuck and Evan were together and saw that as reason enough to penalize them. He shook his head. How could two totally different responses come from such a small group with so many other factors in common?

When Rodney stopped for dinner, he felt better and happy with what he had accomplished. It seemed like his productivity level when he was angry was a consistent factor, regardless of how many other changes he had undergone.

He met Carson for dinner a much more relaxed man. As they ate, Carson also expressed an interest in helping John, and Rodney promised to pass that along, silently wondering how he could roll the dice so that it would put John and Carson in close proximity. He was fairly certain that, given the chance, nature would take its course with them. They would make a good couple, he figured – John with his need, however unknown, to protect and care for someone, and Carson with his need, however equally unknown, to allow someone to protect and take care of him. Rodney could see that Carson still took too much on his shoulders and wished there was something he could to help him in the interim. He just hoped they wouldn’t mind him playing matchmaker.

John sat down with them and Rodney immediately said, “Carson would like to help out with the sensitivity training. I think he would be a great second-in-command or whatever you’re going to call it.”

“I said no such thing,” Carson told Rodney. To John, he said, “I told Rodney that I was interested in helping out in whatever capacity was needed.”

“Well,” John drawled thoughtfully, “since Rodney’s adamant about helping only in the smallest capacity possible, I do kind of need someone to be my man Friday, so to speak.”

Carson glared at Rodney. “I’m not agreeing to anything until I have a better idea of what’s going on. As much as I agree that we need this training, and probably should have had it a long time ago, I do have other duties I need to attend to.”

“Don’t worry, Carson, it’s not going to suck anyone’s life away. Well, mine maybe. Elizabeth wants to have things going as soon as possible. She thinks it would be good to capitalize on the mindset everyone’s in right now.”

As they talked and Rodney shared the ideas he, Evan, and Chuck had had, as well as Radek’s interest in helping out, he closely watched Carson and John. By the end of the meal, he felt good about the sensitivity training, but was frustrated that John didn’t pick up on any of Carson’s cues.

As the conversation wound down, Rodney stood. “Okay, I need to go take care of a few things and I want to see Evan and Chuck. I’ll see you both later.”

“Before you go, Rodney,” Carson said, “I’ve been meaning to ask you – I’d like to sit down with you one day and go over herbal remedies. It’s something I’ve wanted to do after what happened the other day with Mary.”

“Sure,” Rodney agreed. “Once you two talk with Radek and come up with a planning schedule, let me know what day and time you want to do it.” Rodney had a sudden idea and said to John, “Do you think you and I could go to the mainland for a few hours tomorrow?”

“I think we could manage that,” John replied with a confused nod.

“Good. Let me know when you’re ready to go. I’ll see you both later.” Rodney figured it would be good to get John away for a while to make sure things were clear between the two of them once and for all.

“We’re now going on official business,” John told Rodney the next morning. “Halling needs us to bring some things from Teyla and he said Lorne left a few things when you three were at the hut.”

Rodney nodded. “Lorne left his sketchbook and pencils.” He sat down in the co-pilot’s seat. “He’ll be glad to get them back.”

On the way over, John casually asked, “I probably shouldn’t ask, but what exactly is your relationship with Lorne and Chuck? The three of you seem awfully close.”

“You’re right, you shouldn’t ask,” Rodney replied, and at the same time thinking ‘that was fast’. Deciding to bite the bullet, he replied, “But given what’s happened, you probably should know. We’re together – all three of us.”

The Jumper dipped sharply and Rodney took over the controls to even it out. “You’re kidding, right?” John finally managed.

“Nope,” Rodney replied as he concentrated on flying. “Not a bit. We’ve only been together for about a month – maybe a little less.”

“Okay,” John replied hesitantly. “Can I have the controls back now?”

“Sure, if you don’t try to put us in the water again,” Rodney replied sarcastically as he relinquished control of the Jumper.

John was quiet for the rest of the ride. “So, the three of you,” he said when they landed on the beach. “Huh.” There was another pause before he said, “So, you’ve been in a serious relationship for half of the time you’ve been back, and you didn’t think to tell me?” His voice rose slightly in volume and anger.

“What good would it have done?” Rodney replied. “You’ve been acting irrationally since I got back, and I wasn’t going to intentionally add fuel to the fire. And it wasn’t intentional – it just kind of… happened.”

John stared at him for a moment before getting up and stalking out of the Jumper. “Why couldn’t you have told me? You had a chance the other day. You’ve had a million chances.”

Rodney followed John outside. “Yes, well. I rather like keeping myself intact, thank you very much. And with the way you’ve been behaving, if I had told you right away, I wouldn’t be surprised if I had been risking personal bodily harm, property loss, or you going crazy and hurting yourself or someone else. At least now you’re a bit safer.”

John rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Give me a little credit here. I wasn’t possessively jealous of you or anything.”

“Maybe not, but you were trying to be possessive. And it’s not a flattering state on you, Sheppard. If we’re going to continue fighting every time we’re alone together, I’d rather get what we came for, go home, and go back to being acquaintances.”

“You certainly know how to bruise a man’s ego, McKay,” John bit out. “Can’t I do anything right?”

“Yes, you can do a lot of things right; just not relationships, it appears. No wonder you’re single.”

John’s eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth, but Halling’s appearance stopped him from continuing. John handed over the satchel of items from Teyla and, in return, Halling gave Rodney back Evan’s sketchbook and pencils. Rodney unconsciously held them close to his chest as the three men talked for a few moments, exchanging pleasantries and inquiring about their respective peoples.

After Halling left, John turned to Rodney and said, “I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I want you to stop being so melodramatic,” Rodney replied, exasperated. “You pined after me for four cycles – we get it! Move on! Now that I’m back, you have no idea how to and you’re scared – we get it! You still need to do it!” John deflated a little as Rodney pressed on. “I know you don’t want to believe that I’ve moved on. I *had* to – if only to survive with some sanity left. I did wait for you, if that’s what you’re worried about – that I didn’t believe you would come for me. But there’s only so long a man can wait before he has to let that hope go and start dealing what’s in front of him. I appreciate that you waited and kept looking for me, Colonel. But now that you’ve found me, you have to accept me as I am now, not just the way I was.”

John sank to the ground, as if the strength had gone out of his legs, and pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees. Rodney closed the distance between them, startled and concerned, and John looked up at him, shell-shocked. “I’ve held on to this for so long that I don’t know what to do if I give it up,” he told Rodney softly.

“You go on,” Rodney replied. “It’s what we have to do. But if you’re worried that I was your last chance for love, you’ve got another thing coming. If I’ve been able to somehow manage to continually find myself in a relationship with a minimum of trying, then I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone. I’ll even help you.”

“That’s just – no,” John stammered, as he gave Rodney a weird look. “Thank you, but I’ll pass. I have enough to deal with right now. How did you deal with all of this?”

Rodney shrugged, sitting down next to him, sitting cross-legged. “I just did. It was a conscious decision to be positive instead of negative. And I’m sure you can imagine how hard that was, considering it’s me we’re talking about.”

“And you’re happy?” John asked him, giving him a side-long glance.

“I am,” Rodney replied with an affirmative duck of his head. “My time on Lapras was very good for me, and I came to terms with a lot of things from my past and was able to leave them behind and move forward. While I don’t wish for that situation to happen to anyone, I’m definitely not upset that it happened.”

“And what about Chuck and Lorne?”

“What about them?” Rodney asked, confused.

“I just –.” John shrugged and held out a hand palm up. “I don’t get it.”

“I don’t either, really,” Rodney replied. “Somehow the three of us just hit it off in that first month that I was back and it grew into something more. It’s just like any two people, except with three.”

“I get that part,” John replied sarcastically. “I just never pictured you with the two of them. Lorne’s so laid back and Chuck’s so – so –”

“You don’t know him that well, do you?” Rodney replied with a smirk. “He’s a great guy, John. I think you’d like him. Are you going to give them the ‘if you hurt him, I’ll kill you’ speech?”

“Do you think I need to?” John replied. “Because if I do, then I’ll have to follow through, and I like having Lorne as my second-in-command. I had very little breaking in to do with him.”

“I think we’ll be good. I think they’re more invested in it than I am. And I know they take the bound friend part of it seriously, so that’ll help a lot.”

“Bound friend?” John asked, quizzically.

“The simple explanation is it’s the Lapran version of a best friend, but it’s a little more intimate – it has a ceremony and everything.”

“That’s… interesting,” John replied. “I feel like there’s this whole new side of you that I don’t know.”

“That’s probably because there is,” Rodney told him sarcastically. “And I’d like for you to get to know that part of me. I’m serious when I say I do want us to be friends, John. But it’s not going to go past that. How long do I have to keep saying it for you to start understanding that?”

John shrugged a shoulder. “It’s just a big adjustment for me. It’s going to take time – at least that’s what Heightmeyer says.”

“She’s right, you know. It wasn’t an easy adjustment for me when I found out I was stuck on Lapras, and it wasn’t easy for me when I came back here, regardless of how it might have looked – though having Chuck and Evan helped a lot. Just being around other people will help you a lot, too, if you let us. And don’t start with any of that ‘I don’t know if I can’ crap. I know you can, John. You let me in once. You can let in more than one person at a time. I don’t know what sort of childhood trauma you’re working from here, but we’re not going anywhere. You should know by now that if any of us does, it’s usually against our will.”

John nodded and stood and Rodney stood with him. “What do you say we get this show on the road? This isn’t going to fix itself by us just talking about it, and we could be doing other things in the meantime. Are you sure I can’t change your mind about taking a larger role in the sensitivity training?”

As they entered the Jumper, Rodney said, “I’m definitely sure. I think that this is something that you need to do on your own – or, at least, with very little input from me. Besides, you’re the one with the leadership training and the crisis management skills and whatnot. This should be a breeze for you.” He chuckled before adding, “And a good chance for you to show everyone that you actually were listening in officer candidacy school.”

“Very funny, Rodney,” John remarked dryly as they settled in for the ride home. He was quiet for a while and Rodney passed the time by flipping through Evan’s sketchbook and smiling at the pictures as he remembered the time they had spent on the mainland. John broke through his thoughts with, “I really am happy for you, Rodney. I want to be sure you’re aware of that.”

“That means a lot to me, John,” Rodney replied, as he closed the sketchbook. “And I want you to be happy. You definitely deserve it.”

“Okay, I’m all yours,” Rodney told Carson as he plopped down on one of the stools in Carson’s lab a few days later.

“I’ll be ready in a moment,” Carson replied as he moved away from a microscope and made a few notes on a tablet before he started to clean things up. Rodney watched him quietly, absently swinging one foot back and forth. As Carson finished up, he said, “It’s bloody disconcerting to be in the same room as you and have you be totally quiet for longer than ten seconds.”

“I’m… sorry?” Rodney replied. “I didn’t know if having a conversation would be too distracting for you or what.”

“Not while I’m cleaning up,” Carson told him with a reassuring smile. “Let’s go into my office – I’ve got my laptop in there and it’s a wee bit more comfortable.”

Once they were inside, Rodney said, “So the plans for the sensitivity training seem to be shaping up, from what I’ve seen.”

“Aye, they’re coming along,” Carson replied with a sigh. “Since John finally took what you said to heart, he’s been acting like a maniac to get the program up and running. I’m afraid he’s going to wear himself out – or finish and realize he still hasn’t dealt with anything yet and be completely out of sorts again.”

“We’ll just have to work on him before then, won’t we?” At Carson’s baffled look, Rodney added, “I never said I wouldn’t be friends with him, just that I’d have to limit my time with him if he didn’t stop acting the way he’s been.”

“You have better willpower than I do,” Carson replied with a shake of his head. “I don’t know how I’d handle this situation if I were in your place.” He sat down at his desk, and had Rodney pull up a chair, as he opened up the plant database. “This is something we – the medical staff, botany department, and the anthropologists – have been working on for a while now. The basic idea is that we find out what plants we can use as medicines and start administering them whenever possible. That way we can save the medicines from Earth for real emergencies and possibly, one day, wean the expedition members off of the Earth-based medicines all together. It would definitely help in the matter of supply in case the Daedalus can’t return in time, and any sort of advantage we could get would be helpful.”

“Sounds good,” Rodney replied. “Any idea what you’re going to do to test people for allergies?”

“Shit,” Carson replied. “That’s not something I had quite gotten around to thinking about – and the reasoning shouldn’t be because of everything that’s been going on lately.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” Rodney told him. “Let’s take this one step at a time and first find a way to make sure that everyone who needs to know this stuff is on the same page with what the plants are and what they do. And from there you can figure out how to test people for allergies.”

Carson nodded and they started going through the database. Rodney told Carson what he knew about the various plants that were a part of his training, and Carson shared what they had learned between the database, natives of different planets, and their own tests. It amazed Rodney that even though the Laprans and their network of tribes had been separated from the majority of planets for generations, they had all come to the same conclusions about the plants and their uses.

It took more time and became more involved than either of them had anticipated, since they had to work it in around their normal schedules and Carson wanted to study the plants as they went along so he could know which ones worked like which drugs. But Rodney enjoyed the time they spent together and the easy camaraderie they had together and it made him remember similar times on Lapras. He then felt guilty because unless he had to, he hadn’t thought of Lapras, or his family there, in some time. The feeling then turned to chagrin when he remembered the reversal had happened on Lapras about Atlantis. He decided he needed to talk with Elizabeth about going back to visit.

Rodney and Carson finished the bulk of their preliminary work the day the first sensitivity event was slated to take place. Rodney had to admit that he was proud of John for really taking the helm with the program and setting up something that he would be proud of and that would work to promote understanding for all the minorities in the expedition. Tonight’s event was the official opening and everyone – with the exception of Chuck and Evan – was expected to go. Rodney was hoping he could finagle his way out of it.

“Are you coming tonight?” Carson asked as he uploaded the plant database’s revisions to the network.

Rodney shrugged. “I don’t know,” he replied. “I know the program backwards and forwards as well as you and John do. And since I don’t *need* to be there…” He trailed off and looked a little sheepish. “I was hoping to spend some time with Chuck and Evan, since I haven’t spent as much time with them lately.”

“I agree – that should come first. And they’ll be ready for discharge first thing in the morning. I haven’t told them yet, if you’d like to. I think John was hoping you’d come.”

Rodney leaned against the desk as Carson shut down the laptop. “While I appreciate that he’s trying to show me he’s moving on, I don’t want everything he’s doing to be focused at me. As odd as it sounds, I don’t want it to be all about me and I have a feeling that if I go, he might try something.”

“I think you’re starting to get paranoid about what John might do, Rodney,” Carson told him seriously.

“I know and I wish I didn’t feel this way,” Rodney replied with a sigh. “I know that if we give it enough time, we’ll be able to work through it. And even with the improvements I’ve made, I still have a tendency to panic about a situation I’m involved in that I have no control over.”

“You’ll be fine,” Carson told him as he patted Rodney’s hand. “Now, let’s go see those two lads of yours.”

“Hey,” Rodney said, stopping Carson before they left his office. “I wanted to apologize. I know that before I got stranded on Lapras, I made fun of your line of work and I’m sorry for it. You don’t practice voodoo and you’re not a deranged shaman or anything like that.”

Carson’s confused expression softened as he replied, “Thank you, Rodney, that means a lot to me. And I have to say that you’ve come a long way in your time on Lapras and I hope to one day meet your family there.”

Rodney nodded as they headed out. “I hope so too.”

The next morning Rodney practically bounded into the infirmary after breakfast. “Good morning,” he told Chuck and Evan cheerily as he set down the pack he had brought with a clean change of clothes for them.

They both eyed him suspiciously. “Did someone slip coffee into your Frooties this morning?” Chuck asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No,” Rodney replied. “You two are going to be discharged today. And I’ve taken the day off to help you two get settled in.”

“They haven’t been discharged yet, Rodney,” Biro told him as she entered their area with Chuck and Evan’s charts. “So you have to wait a little longer before you can get the boys into bed.”

At Rodney’s shocked look, Evan said, “We had to tell her, Rodney. The nurses were taking bets on what was going on between the three of us, and we figured that if they were going to be betting, that they should get at least part of it right.”

“Where’s Carson?” Rodney asked.

“He got called in for a briefing with Colonel Sheppard and Elizabeth about last night’s programming,” Biro replied as she started examining Evan.

“How did it go?” Rodney made himself ask, suddenly nervous that it had gone horribly, horribly wrong.

“It went very well, I thought. It was very informative, and I think that Carson, Colonel Sheppard, and Dr. Zelenka did a wonderful job outlining what the harassment policy is and what the related penalties are. They also told us where we could get help if we felt like we were being harassed and that this was just going to be the beginning of a much larger – and mandatory, which they seemed to stress a lot – program to promote awareness across the board. A few people seemed a little uneasy with it, but overall, I think everyone was pleased. The situation with Chuck and Major Lorne has everyone more than a little uneasy.”

“I’m not surprised,” Rodney muttered as he crossed his arms and Biro moved on to Chuck.

When she finished, she gave both men directives on what they needed to do to help the healing process before letting them loose.

“Thanks, Doc,” Evan said as he and Chuck stiffly got out of bed. While they were mostly healed, they were still a little sore and stiff.

She gave them a nod before leaving and Rodney pulled the curtain to give them some privacy. Chuck and Evan quickly changed into the clean clothes that Rodney offered them, and Rodney couldn’t help but admire the view, even if the patches of skin were seen in flashes and he didn’t actually see anything even remotely titillating. It was simply a relief to know that soon he’d be able to not only quickly, and quietly, admire flashes of skin, but to openly admire their whole bodies. It had surprised Rodney how much he had missed being able to touch them, and now that they were so close, he was getting antsy.

“I can’t wait to get out of here,” Evan commented as they packed up their clothes, breaking Rodney out of his reverie.

“Yeah, if you spend any more time in here, the soldiers will start thinking you’re a medic and not the second in command,” Chuck replied sarcastically.

“Very funny,” Evan replied, with a roll of his eyes, as they left.

“So, where to?” Rodney asked as he adjusted a twisted strap.

“Let’s go back to my quarters,” Chuck replied. “That way Evan can get his things from the other day, and I can see how I feel with the two of you there with me.”

Evan shrugged. “I don’t care where we go.” The unspoken ‘as long as I’m with the two of you’ was evident in his tone, and both Chuck and Rodney smiled at that as the three of them headed in the right direction.

When they reached Chuck’s door, he hesitated. More rhetorical than actual, he asked, “Do you think it’s bad that I don’t feel nervous or scared about coming back? I think I’m more worried about my lack of worry.” To Rodney, he asked, “How did they get in?”

“The hand sensor had been tampered with,” Rodney told him. “Radek had one of the engineers he knew was trustworthy fix it.”

Chuck nodded and passed his hand over the sensor. The door silently whooshed open, and Chuck entered first, with Evan and Rodney letting him look around for a moment before also entering. Without hesitation, the three men took off their shoes as they always had, and set them next to the door. “It feels like there should be something different about this place now,” Chuck commented quietly. “Like there should be some sort of mark or damage or something, but there’s not. There’s nothing.”

“Do you want there to be something?” Rodney asked as he dropped the pack on a chair before moving behind Chuck and putting his arms around him.

Chuck leaned back against Rodney as he replied, “I don’t know. I’m glad there’s not, but I feel like the absence of a physical reminder in this room negates what happened.”

“But we know and now everyone else knows,” Evan replied as he closed the distance between them. “That will last longer than even these buildings.” He leaned in and kissed Chuck hungrily, and Chuck eagerly responded. “I’ve been wanting to do that for way too long,” Evan said when they pulled apart. “What do you say we go reclaim that bed?”

Both Rodney and Chuck grinned as Rodney pulled away from Chuck. “That’s the best idea you’ve had in a while,” Rodney replied as they headed to the bed.

Standing next to the bed, Chuck put his hand on the back of Rodney’s neck as he said, “Thank you, for everything.”

Rodney opened his mouth to protest that he hadn’t really done much, but Chuck cut him off with a kiss. It was hungry and passionate with just a hint of desperation. Rodney eagerly kissed him back, quickly losing himself in the kiss. He moaned softly and when they broke apart, he blinked dazedly at Chuck and Evan. Evan smiled and took that moment to capture Rodney’s mouth with his own. Rodney groaned into Evan’s mouth and surrendered to the demanding kiss. He had missed this so much while they were in the infirmary. And not just the sex – which was great – but the intimacy in general that didn’t fit with a public setting.

As Evan and Rodney kissed, Chuck’s hands made their way under the other men’s shirts and his fingers gently played along their backs before dipping below their waistbands. They both gasped as Chuck traced along their ass cracks. Pulling apart, they found him looking at them mischievously.

“Come to bed, lovers,” he said, squeezing their asses before withdrawing his hands.

He backed up against the bed and pulled off his shirt, tossing it aside carelessly with a playful grin. Evan stepped in and kissed Chuck again, his hands roaming over the bare skin stretches of Chuck’s torso. Chuck reached beneath the hem of Evan’s shirt and pushed it up, gently scraping his nipples along the way, causing Evan to moan against Chuck’s mouth. They pulled apart so Evan’s shirt could be removed before going back to kissing and touching.

Rodney watched them, aroused by the sight of his lovers enjoying themselves and wanting to follow their lead this time. He carefully adjusted his burgeoning erection as Chuck kissed along Evan’s jaw and down his throat to his pulse point and carefully sucked there, withdrawing before a mark could form.

“What’s wrong, Rodney?” Chuck asked, concerned, as he broke off the kiss.

“Nothing,” Rodney replied. “I just wanted to – uh – watch you both for a moment and follow your lead in this so you two would be comfortable.”

“We would be more comfortable if you joined us,” Evan replied with a smirk.

He grabbed Rodney’s hand and pulled him to them. As he kissed him again, he pressed against Rodney and Rodney could feel Evan’s matching erection against his own. He gripped Evan’s hips and ground against him, eliciting a moan from Evan. When they pulled apart, they heard a groan from the bed and found Chuck sprawled on it, his feet still on the ground, his fly open, and a hand on his freed erection.

“Don’t stop the show on my account, gentlemen,” he told them. “I’m quite enjoying the show.”

Both Rodney and Evan laughed. Evan nuzzled Rodney’s neck just below his ear, sending a shiver down Rodney’s spine, before whispering in his ear, “I think we can take him. What do you say?”

Rodney nodded, his mouth dry in anticipation. He swallowed and replied, “I agree.”

With a surprised yelp from Chuck, they quickly divested not only him, but also themselves of the rest of their clothing, before tumbling onto the bed with him and pulling him up to join them.

“Fuck me,” Rodney told Evan before claiming one of Chuck’s nipples with his mouth.

With a lascivious grin, Evan grabbed the lube from the bedside table as Rodney settled between Chuck’s legs and began sucking on Chuck’s other nipple, his ass in the air for Evan. Chuck tangled his fingers in Rodney’s hair and held him close as he began gently rubbing his cock against the inside of Rodney’s thighs. Rodney started a little when Evan’s lube-slicked finger caressed his crack, but he opened his thighs wider, bringing his cock into contact with Chuck’s. As Evan pressed a finger inside Rodney, Rodney moaned and began alternating between rocking back onto Evan’s finger and forward against Chuck’s cock.

Before long, Chuck was panting and writhing beneath him, and Rodney was resting his head in the crook of Chuck’s neck with his eyes squeezed tight, willing himself to hold on until Evan was actually inside of him. He whimpered when Evan pulled his fingers out of his ass, but sighed in relief when he felt the blunt head of Evan’s cock pressing against his asshole and he pressed back, taking Evan inside easily. Once Evan was all the way inside of him, it took Rodney a moment to adjust to his bulk. Chuck whimpered at the loss of contact, and Rodney and Evan began moving, slowly picking up speed. Rodney loved the feel of Evan moving inside of him, filling him. And when Evan shifted and began hitting his prostate, he practically shattered with pleasure.

Chuck came first, his come splattering his chest and stomach as well as Rodney’s. The sensation caused a domino effect – Rodney came next and Evan came a moment after Rodney’s ass clamped down on his cock.

The three men collapsed into a panting, sweaty heap, nuzzling and kissing each other tiredly. After a while, Chuck left the bed to get a washcloth to clean them up before crawling back into bed and into his lovers’ embrace. The three of them fell asleep happy to be together and content.

The next few days felt anti-climatic for Rodney. Chuck and Evan settled back into their routines easily enough, and Chuck had no problems being alone in his quarters. And John and Carson, along with Radek from time to time, had been busy with the sensitivity training, as well as making up a program for the new recruits. But, all in all, Rodney was happy that things were returning to normal.

One thought niggled at the back of his mind through all of this – maybe he should find someone for John. He’d run the whole idea by John, of course, but Rodney couldn’t help thinking that if he chose someone for John, then maybe John would be more receptive to them, and would make that final step in moving away from keeping Rodney as his romantic ideal. Granted, the whole thing could blow up in Rodney’s face, but he was willing to take that risk if he could ultimately help John be happy.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Chuck said, sidling up to Rodney’s table.

Rodney smiled at him. “I was just thinking about John and how it might not be a bad idea to set him up with someone. It’s not uncommon on Lapras for someone to play matchmaker for a couple, once the couple has been okayed as compatible.”

“Do you think it’ll work?” Chuck asked, leaning against the table. “He did just come out of carrying a torch for you for three and a half years.”

‘Longer than that,’ Rodney thought, but he replied “Whether or not it’ll work is iffy, I’ll agree.” He shut down his laptop. “But I have a feeling that if I pick the person and present him or her to John, then he’ll be more open to them – seeing as how I’m obviously okay with them together.”

“Good luck with that,” Chuck said with a laugh. “Let’s go get Evan and go get some dinner. I’m sure he’ll be hungry after working with the Marines.”

Rodney laughed. “Ronon will be the hungry one. Evan’s still only directing them.”

“Either way.” Chuck shrugged as they headed out.

Rodney cornered John that evening outside of the training room. “I’ve got a proposition for you.”

“Can it wait until later?” John asked. “I’m kind of in the middle of something.” He gestured to the men waiting for him inside.

“You haven’t even started yet and this will only take a second,” Rodney countered. “I want to set you up with someone.”

“No, Rodney,” John told him immediately.

“You haven’t heard me out,” Rodney pressed. He looked over John’s shoulder at the men gathering at the doorway. “I promise, I’ll be quick.”

John glanced over his shoulder and scowled at the men, who backed up a step. He grabbed Rodney’s arm and pulled him a few feet away and said, “You have one minute.”

“Okay.” Rodney let out a puff of air. “I know this whole thing will seem weird, but I’ve been thinking about it and I want to set you up with someone. It’s not uncommon for people to play matchmaker on Lapras and I thought that I could do that for you. To show you that I really am okay with you moving on and finding someone else.”

“No, Rodney,” John repeated. Rodney opened his mouth, but John repeated, “No. Now, I’ve got to get to practice.”

Rodney watched John’s retreating back with his mouth pressed into a tight line as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms across his chest. Okay, he was going to think about how else to approach this, because he wasn’t going to give up that easily. He waited until John and his men were finished. When the men filed out of the room and saw him, they smiled and a few snickered. Rodney simply nodded at them as they passed. John came out last and grimaced when he saw Rodney.

“I’m not backing down that easily, John,” Rodney told him as he fell in step with him. “You’re not the only stubborn one on this base.”

“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to run this whole thing by me again,” John told him. “Why, exactly, do you want to set me up with someone?”

“Because I think it’ll be good for you. I think that while, consciously, you recognize that we are not getting back together, I think that deep down, you still want us to and are willing to wait for even the *slightest* chance. I have a feeling that if I find someone that I think would be a good match for you, your subconscious might be willing to consider them as a possible love interest because I’ve given them my approval.”

“And this makes sense to you how?” John asked with a frown.

Rodney huffed. “It just does. I may not have originally put much stock in psychology and all that nonsense, but when I was seeing Kate before my time on Lapras, she actually helped me a lot and that was something that came up a lot – how our subconscious rules a lot of what we do. And I think you may not be willing to admit it to yourself, but you need someone to care for. Now, I know how you like doing things your own way, but please let me help you with this before you self-destruct or something equally horrifying.”

John narrowed his eyes. “Rodney –” he started.

Rodney continued on. “Look, I don’t know about your planet, but on mine, best friends do things like this for each other.”

John stopped and, turning towards Rodney, put his hands on his hips. “I was under the impression that we weren’t best friends any more.”

Rodney mirrored his action, not letting himself be cowed. “Let’s face it, we both know I’m still the closest thing to a best friend you have. Look –” He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts and licked his lips nervously. “I’m not taking this lightly. I know how this could come across to other people – me doing this for you could definitely weaken your status here on Atlantis. But, honestly, I doubt you’ve ever really cared what anyone else thought as long as you were able to keep your job. And, from what I’ve heard, after the past four cycles, you can really only go up. So, what have you got to lose?”

“The last shred of dignity I might have left?” John bit out.

Rodney held up a hand with his pointer finger up. “One person. Let me set you up with one person. I promise I’ll be discreet, considerate, and judicious in choosing this person. I doubt much has changed since I left – aside from you getting a little weirder – but I still want to sit down with you to see what sort of person you would like to go out with.”

John narrowed his eyes again. “It’s nice to see that even with all of your meditation, you can still be an arrogant, imposing asshole, Rodney. One person. One date. That’s all I’m going to agree to.”

“That’s all I ask,” Rodney replied with a smug smile as he rocked back onto his heels. “I guess I’d better make the most of my time, then. Do you have time to talk now?”

“Do I have a choice?” John asked, grimacing.

“Sure. Now or later.”

“Now, then,” John replied, looking like he’d just tasted something nasty. “Let’s go back to my quarters.”

Rodney followed him, hoping that this wouldn’t blow up in his face. Once they were in John’s quarters, John sat rigidly on his bed, his hands on his knees. Rodney calmly and gracefully settled himself on the floor, sitting cross-legged, hands folded quietly in his lap.

“It’s still weird seeing you do that,” John commented, his hands clenching his knees almost imperceptibly.

“Do what?” Rodney asked, curious.

“Sit so still and quietly. It’s, like, totally opposite of what I know about you.”

“Then I guess you should start getting to know the new me,” Rodney commented. “I was serious when I said that I still want to be friends with you. I know everything that’s been going on with Chuck and Evan and the sensitivity training has thrown a wrench into that, but I was being serious.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I do want the best for you, John. I want you to be happy. I know that this may seem like an odd way of showing it, but I am trying to help you move on.”

“So, what do you need from me?” John asked, knuckles white now and voice slightly strained.

“I need you to relax first,” Rodney replied. “Take a couple of deep breaths and release the death grip you have on your knees. They’ll thank you later.” He waited while John took two, somewhat, deep breaths and eased his grip so his knuckles weren’t so white. “Okay, that’s a start. Now, start talking. Tell me what you want in someone you’d consider as a potential life-partner. And if you say me, I will smack you.”

John let out a huff and looked up at the ceiling and Rodney was certain he could see the wheels turning. “A guy,” John finally replied. “Preferably close in height – doesn’t matter which way. Dark hair – well, not blond. Good sense of humor. Not military – things may be looser here, but I still don’t want to have to worry about the whole fraternization issue right now, since things are still a little touchy after what happened with Chuck and Lorne.” He gave Rodney a weak smile. “Plus, some things are a little too ingrained.” He shrugged. “Otherwise, I’m pretty open.”

“Okay, I can work with that. Anything else? Excluding the grunts definitely raises the I.Q. level – so you’ll at least be able to have intelligent conversations. I’d say so does excluding Ronon, since he’s a giant, but does the ‘no fraternization’ include the team as well?”

“It might as well – we’d still have to be together if things didn’t work out.”

“And how would it have worked out between us, if things didn’t work out before?” Rodney asked, curious.

“I don’t know,” John replied, and Rodney could hear the honesty in his voice.

“Anything else?” Rodney asked, filing that bit of information away to consider and deal with later.

John shrugged. “I’m fairly open.”

“Okay.” Rodney stood. “But don’t get mad at me if you don’t like who I match you with, since you’ve hardly given me anything to go on. I may have to get more information out of you later, depending on how things go.”

John looked like he was about to say something, but stopped himself instead, and stood as well. “Is this the part where I wish you good luck and hope for the best?”

“Pretty much. I promise I’ll do my best to find someone for you.”

“What sort of time window are you looking at for getting back to me?” John replied awkwardly.

“As soon as I can,” Rodney said as he headed to the door. “I’m going to be as thorough as I can with this, since I’m only getting one chance. Good night, John.”

“Good night, Rodney,” John replied, slightly amused, as Rodney left.

Heading back to his quarters, Rodney thought that things had gone better than he had hoped. Now he just had to hope the rest of it did as well. Stepping inside, he found Evan sitting at his desk, working on finishing something in his sketchbook.

“Hey,” Rodney said, going over to him. “What are you working on and why are you doing it here?”

“Hey,” Evan replied, looking up at Rodney with a smile as Rodney put a hand on his back, between his shoulder blades. “Just finishing something from the other day. And I’m doing it here because you have a better desk.”

“Now that it’s clean,” Rodney replied with a laugh. He bent down and kissed Evan, who groaned softly as he kissed him back.

When they pulled away, Evan said, “Chuck told me you’ve decided to set Sheppard up with someone.”

“I have and I want to talk to you about that.” Rodney sat on the edge of his desk. “Where is Chuck, by the way?”

“He just left to get his laptop and some movies. We weren’t sure where you had wandered off to or when you’d be back, so we thought we’d wait here for you.”

“Then let’s get this out of the way before he gets back. I’ve got one chance to set John up with someone. Can you think of anyone who would be a good match for him?”

“Based on what?” Evan asked, sitting back in Rodney’s chair and taking Rodney’s hand in his.

Rodney shrugged. “Based on anything. His only real qualification was not someone in the military or on his team, given everything that’s been going on and ingrained practices. And no blonds.”

“Hmm. That’s still pretty open.”

“Tell me about it. Is there anyone that you know of that he spends a lot of time with?”

Evan smirked. “Aside from me and his team? The only other people I can think of are you and Carson.”

The door opened and Chuck came in. He smiled when he saw Rodney. After dumping his things on Rodney’s bed, he came over to them and first kissed Evan, then Rodney, before leaning against Rodney’s outside and putting an arm around his back. “So, what are we talking about?” he asked before resting his chin on Rodney’s shoulder.

“Setting Sheppard up on a date,” Evan replied.

“So you did talk to him then?” Chuck asked Rodney. “And he agreed to it?”

“He agreed to one date – and that took some doing,” Rodney replied. “I was just asking Evan who John spends a lot of his time with, aside from his team.”

“You, Evan, and Carson,” Chuck said.

Both Rodney and Evan laughed and Rodney replied, “That’s what he said. So, aside from the fact that we’re both unavailable, John doesn’t want to fraternize, so that doubly leaves out Evan. And there’s no way I’m going back to him.”

“So that would leave Carson, then, it seems,” Chuck replied.

Evan thought for a moment. “It might actually be good for both of them. I know Sheppard doesn’t like showing it, but he does like caring for other people. And I’ve spent enough time in the infirmary lately to know that Carson needs someone to take care of him.”

“He does,” Chuck agreed. “I think he’s trying too hard to prove that he’s still capable enough to do his job.”

“Carson’s always been that way,” Rodney told them. “Even back on Antarctica, he was constantly trying to prove that he was good enough for the position that they put him in.” He thought about it for a moment. “But I think they’d make a good couple. They’re about even in the need category, and Carson’s strong-willed enough that he’ll be able to set good boundaries for both of them. I’ll have to talk to him tomorrow to see what he thinks about it. And I want to see what the rest of the team thinks too, especially since this has the potential to really change things for them.”

“And since it’s not tomorrow yet, why don’t we not think about John and his possible love-life and focus on ours?” Chuck asked, gently pulling Rodney off of the desk.

“That sounds like a great idea to me,” Rodney replied, tugging on Evan’s hand.

As Evan stood, he said, “We really need to get you a bigger bed.”

“No, we just need to be more creative,” Rodney replied with a devilish grin before taking Evan’s face in his hands and kissing him soundly.

The next morning, Rodney arrived in the mess hall after Teyla, Ronon, and Darby. He grinned when he noted that John was nowhere in sight and thought that this just might be easier than expected. He filled his tray with food and headed over to their table. He sat down with a smile and greeted the three of them.

“Where’s John?” he asked, hoping he sounded casual, before taking a sip of milk.

“He’s in the Jumper bay with Dr. Zelenka. He wanted to go over a few things on one of the jumpers before our mission,” Teyla replied. “He said it was nothing important – just some modifications that Radek has been working on.”

Rodney nodded. He knew that Radek had been working on improving the power efficiency in the jumpers for a while in the hopes that it would help with the hyperdrive that had been installed in one of them. “Okay, then I need to ask you all something serious without him here. And it can’t go any farther than this table.” He glared at each of them. Teyla and Darby both looked curious and Ronon wore his usual blank expression. “If you could set John up with anyone from either the scientists or the medical staff, who would it be?”

“Carson,” both Ronon and Teyla replied immediately.

“I don’t know,” Darby replied before adding, “I honestly don’t spend much time with him.”

“Seriously?” Rodney asked, looking at Ronon and Teyla.

Ronon just shrugged and Teyla replied, “They have become close since you left and I think they are well-suited for each other.”

“It’s not that I can’t believe it,” Rodney replied. “They do have a lot in common, even if they won’t admit it. I’m just surprised that you both agree as well. Chuck and Evan said the same thing last night.”

“Then what are you asking us for?” Ronon asked.

“Just wanted more opinions,” Rodney replied. “I guess four out of five people can’t be wrong.”

“What do you think, Rodney?” Teyla asked. “This decision will affect you as well.”

“I know,” Rodney replied. “And I think it will be good for both of them. I think John needs someone to take care of and I think Carson will let him, once he realizes that John’s intent is genuine, without letting John go crazy doing it.”

“But what if neither of them agree with you that it would be a good match?” Teyla continued.

“I doubt Carson will have too much of a problem. From the way it looks, he’s been nursing a crush on John for some time now. John’s the one that’ll need convincing.”

“That’s true,” Ronon agreed. “Beckett’s been looking at Sheppard like my sister used to look at her boyfriend.”

“Here comes John,” Darby warned them. “Good luck with that, Rodney.”

Rodney simply smiled as John sat down and Darby asked John about the Jumpers.

Just before lunch time, Rodney made his way down to the infirmary. He knocked on Carson’s doorframe, startling the doctor.

“How can I help you, Rodney?” Carson asked. “Are you all right.”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Rodney replied. “I wanted to see if you wanted to go to lunch. But I have to ask you something before we go.”

“Lunch sounds great,” Carson replied as he checked his watch and saved his work. Lacing his hands together on the desk in front of him, he asked, “Now, what can I do for you?”

“I – um – I,” Rodney looked a little sheepish and glanced at the door while he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly nervous. He lowered his voice as he said, “I’m trying to set John up on a date to show him that, you know, his life will go on without me as one of the major players. And I was hoping you’d consider doing it for me.”

Carson looked at Rodney incredulously. “You want me to go on a date with John?”

“Yes,” Rodney replied. “I know it’s a lot to ask and I’m willing to volunteer myself, Evan, and Chuck to ‘double’ – if you can call it that, you know, considering that we’re a triad – with the two of you to make it easier.”

“Oh, yes, I remember the last time we did that,” Carson replied sarcastically. “It was Katie Brown, myself, and you and you had Laura Cadman stuck in your head.”

“Which you had a crush on at the time – so it was kind of a double date,” Rodney returned.

“Yes, but I didn’t know it at the time how much influence she had over you! That whole evening ended up just being very weird.”

“I know, and I’ve apologized for it. This time, I promise there will be no other consciousnesses in my brain – or anyone else’s for that matter – and we’ll have a good time. I’ll even let you decide what we do, if that’ll make you feel better.”

“This is a big decision, Rodney,” Carson told him. “I haven’t dated anyone since Laura and I broke it off and with my… limitations now, I – I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied. “But it’s only one date.” He gave Carson a wry smile. “I’m not asking you to save the world or anything. So, how about lunch?”

Carson shook his head in amusement as they stood. “You’re something else, Rodney McKay.”

John found Rodney in the labs that afternoon. “So, you really were serious last night,” he said, leaning his forearms against the table.

“What makes you think I wouldn’t be?” Rodney asked, not looking up from the parts he was soldering together.

“I don’t know – the fact that you’ve never been good at handling your own love life, and therefore would never attempt to try arranging someone else’s? And I don’t know if you’d ever be this selfless.”

“What makes you think I’m doing this purely for your benefit?” Rodney replied. “I have a better chance of you holding up your end of the bargain and leaving me alone if you’re involved with someone else.”

“That’s the Rodney I know – narcissistic as ever.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Rodney replied, putting down his tools and looking up at John. Bringing them back onto their original subject, he asked, “So, how do you know I was serious last night?”

“I have my ways,” John replied. “A little birdie told me that you’ve been asking questions.”

“It’s more likely that you’ve been asking around to see if I was serious,” Rodney countered.

“And it seems like you were. No one would give me any definite answers, but it seems like you’ve talked to all the important people in my life except for Elizabeth.”

“Yes, well, I only excluded her because I didn’t think she’d appreciate me taking up some of her valuable time with this sort of matter. Besides, things are still weird between us and I don’t want to make them weirder.”

“So, how close are you?” John asked.

“Close enough,” Rodney told him. “I have a few things to iron out first. You’ll know the specifics when it’s time.” He looked at his watch. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get this finished before the end of the day.”

John rolled his eyes and commented, “Ever the busy bee,” as he stood. “I’ll see you later, Rodney.”

Rodney gave both John and Carson space for the next two days. He didn’t want Carson to feel like he was being pressured into anything and John was making him antsy. Carson finally came to him with his answer.

“I’ve made my decision,” he told Rodney. “I’ll do it – but only *one* date.”

“That’s all I ask,” Rodney replied. “And I’m extremely grateful you’ve decided to agree. Have you decided what you want to do?”

“I was thinking dinner and a movie and I want the three of you involved as well. Believe me, I consider John to be a dear friend, but I’m a ball of nerves as it is just thinking about this whole thing, let alone doing it with just the two of us.”

“I understand,” Rodney replied. “Just let me know when and where.”

“Okay,” Rodney told Chuck and Evan as he set down his tray. “We’re double-dating with John and Carson on Friday. John doesn’t know who he’s going out with. And we’re having it at Chuck’s place.”

“Why my place?” Chuck asked huffily.

“Because it’s neutral territory, you have bigger quarters, and you have a kitchen,” Rodney ticked off on his fingers as he sat down.

“A kitchen-*ette*,” Chuck emphasized, still looking dubious.

“And because Rodney’s going to be making it up to us afterwards,” Evan added, giving them both a knowing look and Chuck grinned in spite of himself.

“Sometimes I wonder about you two,” Rodney replied with an exasperated shake of his head.

“So what time’s this shindig and what are you making?” Evan asked.

“It’s at seven and I don’t know what I’m making yet,” Rodney replied thoughtfully. “Definitely something simple. Maybe pasta.”

“Maybe mess will make something for you since there will be five of us,” Evan replied.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Rodney replied as he started eating. “I’ll have to ask before we leave.”

Friday morning, John pestered Rodney during their practice time. “Come on, Rodney. Why won’t you tell me anything?”

“And spoil your fun? I don’t think so,” Rodney replied as they leaned up against the wall and watched Ronon and Teyla. “Besides, this is a date, not crossing enemy lines.”

“So you say,” John replied sullenly.

“If you keep this up,” Rodney quietly told him, “I’m going to make you go on a second date – even if the first one is a horrible flaming disaster.”

“You wouldn’t,” John replied, crossing his arms.

“Try me,” Rodney replied, mirroring John’s action. “I will drag you into this kicking and screaming if I have to. I’ve seen it done on Lapras and by the end of it, the couples involved are actually some of the happiest I’ve seen.”

“How much are you willing to bet on that?”

“As much as it takes.”

“Back to the Future III serious?”

“Yes.”

John looked at Rodney, shocked. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

“Okay. If this date doesn’t go horribly, horribly wrong, you’ll go on another date without any complaint. If it does go horribly wrong, you can complain, I’ll watch whatever you want, and you two will try again. And we’ll keep doing this until this relationship comes to a natural conclusion that isn’t based on one bad date.”

“And you’re sure this is the way it’s done on Lapras?”

Rodney shrugged. “Not quite, but an exact translation wouldn’t have worked.”

“Why not?”

“First off, the two of you would have to be cleared by the Lapran healer as being genetically compatible before you were given the go ahead to start dating each other.”

“I thought you said they were a primitive society.”

“They are. That doesn’t mean they’re stupid. They have a surprisingly accurate knowledge of themselves and their world.”

“Wow, Rodney. Are you actually conceding that people can know things about the world around them without being geniuses?”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that most people do, but these people definitely have a certain amount of genius to them. You saw them and the conditions they’re forced to deal with on a daily basis. And that wasn’t including the sandstorms they have during most of the year. It’s *amazing*.” As Teyla and Ronon finished up, Rodney pulling them back on-topic, by saying, “Remember – be at Chuck’s quarters at seven pm sharp tonight. If you try to weasel out of it, I will find you.”

“You’re evil, Rodney,” John muttered.

“Think what you want of me, but I know you’ll thank me in the end.”

That evening, Rodney was a mess. He’d picked up dinner from the mess hall with no problem. The staff had been surprisingly helpful when he’d gone to them on Wednesday and asked about getting food for a dinner party of five. He ended up leaving the mess hall with two sizeable coolers. He was fairly certain all five of them would be able to eat for a week with what was inside.

When he entered Chuck’s quarters, his lovers were waiting for him. “We’ll get these set up while you get ready,” Evan told him as they took the coolers from him and kissed him on his cheeks.

Rodney looked around Chuck’s normally tidy quarters to find everything was immaculate and the table was already set. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know where the table settings had come from or the large screen monitor that had been set up on a dresser against one wall and hooked up to Chuck’s laptop. “Do I –?” he started.

“Get going,” Chuck told him. “Your stuff’s waiting for you in the bathroom. You’ve got twenty minutes.” He opened one of the coolers.

Rodney squeaked and headed for the bathroom. He quickly showered and dressed, mentally complimenting whoever had picked out his clothes. After a quick check in the mirror to make sure he looked presentable, Rodney headed out into the main room. “Thanks for doing this, guys,” he said. “Wow, that’s quite a spread,” he blurted out when he saw the amount of food containers they were sitting on the table and Chuck’s desk. He smoothed out his shirt. “Do I look okay?” he asked them nervously.

Chuck and Evan stared at him for a moment before starting to laugh.

“What?” Rodney barked.

“Nothing,” Chuck replied with an amused shake of his head. “It’s just,” he started laughing again. “You’re asking if you look all right and you’re not the one going on the date.”

“It’s more of a ‘since when have you cared about how you look’ sort of laugh,” Evan amended, pausing to kiss Rodney quickly on the lips.

“Well, true,” Rodney replied. “But… still. I want this to go as perfectly as possible for John and Carson. And I consider me not being an eyesore to be a part of that equation.”

Chuck and Evan chuckled again as the door chimed. Chuck thought the door open and it slid open to reveal both Carson and John, who was looking around dubiously.

“Good evening and welcome,” Rodney greeted them formally, as he headed towards the door and they entered. “We are your humble hosts for this evening.”

“Cut that out,” Chuck told him, swatting Rodney on his lower back and gave Carson and John a warm smile. “Make yourselves at home,” he told them. “Can I get either of you something to drink? We have water, coffee, tea, and some of the Athosian fruit punch.”

“Some punch would be lovely,” Carson replied, following Chuck to where the beverages had been set up. “Hello, Rodney. Evan,” he said as he passed them and they both greeted him in return, Evan looking up from where he was starting to take the covers off the food dishes.

“*Carson*?” John said quietly to Rodney, his voice with a bit of an edge to it.

“What about him?” Rodney replied, part feigned innocence and part curiosity.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Rodney,” John told him.

Rodney shrugged. “Based on the empirical data at hand, he is, by and far, the wisest choice and best match for you.”

John shook his head. “I don’t know who you’re trying to have more pity on – me or him.”

“Pity?” Rodney asked incredulously. His tone turned defiant as he continued, “You’ve never had my pity, John Sheppard. And as for Carson – this isn’t a pity date for him either, since he can still kick your ass. I honestly thought you knew me better than that. Like I said – we’re going to do this if I have to drag you through it kicking and screaming and you’re not allowed to bail after the first date.” He smiled. “So, can I get you a drink?”

“Only if you have something stronger than that punch.”

“We don’t serve alcohol until the third date, Colonel,” Rodney replied with a smirk.

“Ha ha, very funny, McKay,” John replied dryly. “So what’s the set up for tonight?”

“If the two of you are finished your little tête-à-tête,” Evan said, coming over to them, “we’re going to start dinner before things get cold.”

“We’re finished,” Rodney told him as they headed to the table, John following behind them.

Evan easily directed everyone to a seat and made sure they all had drinks. John was sitting at one end of the table, with Carson on his right and Rodney on his left. Evan was next to him and Chuck was at the other end of the table.

“Please, eat,” Chuck told them. “We told the mess hall this was for five and they gave us all this. I don’t want to be eating leftovers for the next six weeks.”

The men did as they were told and started passing around containers of meatloaf, macaroni and cheese, green beans, rolls, and salad. They were quiet as they ate. Rodney glanced nervously between John and Carson as he shoveled food into his mouth.

“Slow down,” Evan whispered in his ear. “You inhaling your food and staring at them isn’t going to help anything.”

“I know,” Rodney replied in a sullen whisper. “I just want it to work.”

“We all do,” Evan told him. “But chill out.”

Chuck and Evan glanced at each other and took matters into their own hands and started a conversation. Both Carson and John relaxed a little as they talked and Rodney was surprised that neither Evan nor John mentioned work-related stuff. But he did notice that John and Carson weren’t really talking to each other. They did, but only in small bits, doing most of their talking with Chuck, Evan, and Rodney.

Rodney kicked John in the shin and when John glared at him, he mouthed, “Talk to him!” and glared pointedly at Carson, who was talking with Chuck.

John narrowed his eyes. “About what?” he mouthed back.

Rodney shrugged. “Don’t know, don’t care!” he mouthed before rubbing the bridge of his nose and sighing. This was going to be a disaster and they hadn’t even reached dessert yet.

“Are you all right, Rodney?” Carson asked, concerned.

“Just peachy,” Rodney replied, giving Carson a reassuring smile. “What are our movie options?” he asked Chuck, knowing full well most of Chuck’s extensive library.

Chuck shrugged. “I’ve got a wide variety. So I’d say we let our guests pick.”

That seemed to do the trick. Carson and John began talking movies, every once in a while getting confirmation from Chuck that he had something. Rodney was surprised when they agreed on the original Batman, but from the way John and Carson smiled at each other, he could tell that it had some sort of meaning for them.

After a decadent fudge brownie for dessert, the group split up. Evan and John went to set up the movie as Chuck, Rodney, and Carson cleaned up the food, setting some leftovers aside for each of them for the next day. While they worked, Rodney tried to get out of Carson how he felt things were going but Carson was frustratingly mum and only said that he’d let Rodney know after the night was over.

As they all sat down, John commented, “Chuck, do I want to know how you came to possess all this furniture?”

“The better question is how I got it all in here,” Chuck replied with a laugh as he settled in between Evan and Rodney and Carson sat next to John. “I owe a lot of favors.” He dimmed the lights and started the movie. “Let’s get this movie started.”

Rodney watched John and Carson almost as much as he watched the movie. They seemed to be fairing better during the movie than during dinner, though he was sure that was because they weren’t the center of attention. A few times Rodney caught them whispering and smiling at each other during the movie and while they sat close, they were careful to not touch each other.

By the end of the movie, Rodney was feeling a little antsy. He wanted to know what was going on between Carson and John and he wanted to know now. While the credits rolled, Chuck stopped the movie and turned the lights back up and everyone stood and stretched.

As Chuck moved away to turn off the equipment, Evan moved in and put his arm around Rodney’s waist. “Don’t even think about it,” he murmured in Rodney’s ear.

“Think about what?” Rodney asked innocently.

“You know what I’m talking about,” Evan replied. “You can rehash things with them tomorrow. Besides, you know John’s going to walk Carson home.”

Rodney really hadn’t thought of that. “Okay, you have a point,” he replied.

Carson yawned and said, “I’ve got a long day tomorrow, so I best be going. Thank you all for a lovely evening.”

“I’ll go with you, Doc,” John told him nonchalantly, but in a tone that brooked no argument.

Evan, Chuck, and Rodney walked them to the door and Chuck handed over two containers of food for them as they all said their good-nights.

Once the two men had left, Evan commented, “Tonight went rather well, I thought.”

“No one died or was injured and everyone got along. I’d definitely say it was a success,” Chuck agreed.

Rodney huffed. “I guess I can agree it was a success.”

“Thank you,” Chuck replied as he advanced on Rodney with a lusty grin. “About how you can make this up to us….”

The next day, Rodney didn’t see either Carson or John at breakfast, so by lunch time he was practically vibrating with curiosity. It took all of Rodney’s willpower to not blurt out – loudly – “*So*? What happened last night?” when both John and Carson sat down across from him.

“Thanks again,” Carson told Rodney. “Neither of us gets out much, so it was a nice change of scenery. Thank Chuck again for opening his quarters for us. And thank Evan for giving up some quality time with the two of you as well.”

“Where are your other parts, by the way?” John asked.

“Chuck said he owed Miko a favor and Evan said something about ordnance requests,” Rodney replied. Unable to hold his curiosity on one part any longer, he asked, “So, what’s up with Batman?”

Both John and Carson chuckled as they looked at each other and smiled. “Well, back while you were gone,” John started, “we were reminiscing about you.”

“And one thing led to another,” Carson supplied, “and we were talking about that time when we had run into Lucius Lavin when he was pretending to be a hero. And I don’t know what made me think of our discussion prior to meeting him, but I blurted out that I had never seen any of the Batman movies.”

“So I told him that we would need to watch at least the first one some time,” John added, “because even if you’re not a fan, the first one’s a classic. And he agreed to it, but then one thing led to another and we never did.”

“So when we were at Chuck’s last night,” Carson continued, “and we found out he had it, we knew we had to watch it.”

“Huh,” Rodney replied. “Well, I hope you enjoyed it, Carson.”

“Oh, very much so,” Carson replied with a smile. “And I’m sure you’re dying to know, but either Chuck or Evan – or maybe both – made you swear not to ask. We both agree that the date went well last night and we might be willing to try another one.”

Rodney grinned at that. “And what about after you two left?”

“Nothing,” John replied quickly. “I walked him home. You can accuse me of being Captain Kirk all you want, but I do know how to be a gentleman.”

“He’s certainly been one with me,” Carson muttered with a slight trace of wistfulness and a wry smile.

John didn’t seem to hear Carson’s comment, but Rodney’s eyes went wide at the admission. To cover his surprise, he rolled his eyes. “So, what are you two planning for you follow-up date?”

“We haven’t exactly gotten that far yet,” John replied. “It’s not like we can do a lot of the stuff we’d normally do on Earth.”

Rodney leaned back in his chair and scoffed. “I know both of you can be very imaginative and inventive when you’ve got the right incentive, so I have no doubt that you’ll both be able to find a way around this obstacle.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ve got to get back to the lab – I need to start running a simulation. I’ll see you both later.” He quickly headed out, hoping that the seeds that had been planted would bear fruit.

That afternoon, Rodney wasn’t surprised when John stopped by his lab. “What can I do for you?” he asked.

“I need to know what you’re expecting out of this whole thing,” John replied. “Out of me. Carson and I talked after you left and he told me that you had asked him to go out on *one* date with me.”

“I did,” Rodney admitted.

“And yet, you led me to believe that this was going to be a long-term sort of thing.”

“I think it could be – if you work on it,” Rodney replied. “I wanted the second date to be your idea, not mine. I think you and Carson would be great for each other.” He looked past John to one of the newer scientists who was looking at them nervously. “Can I help you, Dr. Steirsen?”

“I, uh, I was wondering if, um, you could, um, help me with part of this, ah, project I’m working on,” she told him nervously, the knuckles gripping her tablet going white as she glanced between Rodney and John.

“Sure,” Rodney replied, waving her closer. “This simulation will take a bit yet and our conversation can wait.”

John glared at him but moved over so Steirsen could stand next to Rodney and explain her problem while he looked at the information on her tablet. He smiled at her while Rodney looked over her work and hmm-ed a few times and she shyly smiled back. He was about to strike up a conversation when Rodney glared at him and handed Steirsen back her tablet. Rodney pointed out what she was doing wrong and what she could do to maximize the results she wanted. She grinned at him and practically bounced off when he was done.

“That wasn’t very nice, Rodney,” John told him casually.

“Oh, please,” Rodney replied. “You were flirting again – and don’t try denying it. Look, Steirsen’s a great scientist – they all are – but she literally got off the Daedalus two weeks ago. And I know you didn’t say this before, but we both know that you getting into a relationship with someone who wasn’t either in the original expedition or the first wave of replacements ultimately wouldn’t work – too many unique experiences and what have you.”

“Okay, true,” John said. “But Carson? Don’t get me wrong – I think he’s a great guy and all, but,” he made a face, “I don’t know if he’s my type.”

“He’s definitely your type, John,” Rodney told him.

John rolled his eyes. “Sometimes I wonder about the way your mind works.”

“Look, trust me on this. I know that the two of you would be great together if you give it even half a chance.”

John crossed his arms. “Why should I?”

Rodney’s gaze flicked to his computer screen for a moment as he sat back in his chair before turning his full attention to John. “Let’s see,” he began ticking off. “The two of you get along very well. He fits the bill of goods you gave me. Not only is he not military, he’s also the CMO, so you really won’t have any fraternization problems. He’s an original expedition member.” Rodney hesitated for a moment before adding quickly and quietly, “And I think he has a crush on you.”

John’s eyebrows shot up. “You want to use some possible feelings he might have for me to my advantage?”

“Maybe?” Rodney replied, looking contrite. “Look,” he held up a hand to emphasize his point. “I don’t know for sure since I haven’t actually asked him, but I think he does. And I’m not asking you to use them to your advantage, just to be aware of them so that if he does have feelings for you, you don’t completely break his heart. Having one heart-broken senior staff member on Atlantis is more than enough, thank you very much. Look, I know I sprung this on you the other day, so take some time and think about it. If you really do want me to drop it, then I will and we can chalk it up to a nice little date and we can figure out something to tell Carson.”

John’s arms tensed in front of his chest and his jaw tightened while the rest of him stayed relaxed and he looked straight ahead. And Rodney was surprised that he remembered this pose. John was uncomfortable with whatever he was thinking, but he was seriously considering it. “The thing is, Rodney, I have been thinking about it. I’ve been thinking about it ever since you first mentioned this whole thing to me.”

“And?” Rodney replied curious, yet also expecting John to completely shut him down.

“And I’ll admit that I’m curious about this whole thing. And you do have a point – I do need to move on. But I don’t like to think of using Carson as a rebound relationship – because that’s what he’d be. He deserves more than that.”

“You’re right, he does,” Rodney agreed. “But I think you have it in you to be what he needs. And I think that if you look at yourself and what you’ve been holding onto these past four cycles, you’ll realize that it’s all a bunch of shadows and dust and that it’s not worth holding onto. Come back to the land of the living, John Sheppard. And, yes, pain and heartache are still a part of it all,” he waved a hand dismissively, “but you’re a big boy and you can deal with it.”

John shook his head. “You’re still a piece of work, Rodney.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” Rodney replied, glancing at the computer’s screen. “Now. Are you ready to have the training wheels come off?”

John sighed. “I guess so. It’s going to happen at some point whether I like it or not, isn’t it?”

“You betcha,” Rodney replied with a gleeful smile.

That evening, Carson stormed into Rodney’s quarters. “You lied to me!” he rebuked Rodney, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Rodney looked up from the book he had been reading. And a startled Chuck and Evan turned from the computer game they had been playing. Taking in Carson’s angry form, they judiciously grabbed their shoes and slipped out.

“I did not,” Rodney calmly replied from where he had lounging on his bed, as he put his book aside. “*I* asked you to go on one date with John because I knew that he was never going to do it himself. *John* should have known better and not said anything. I was merely trying to help the two of you out.”

Carson blinked at him for a long moment, his outburst slowly losing its steam. “So it wasn’t some kind of cruel joke the two of you were playing on me?” he asked quietly, his voice suddenly sounding small.

“What?” Rodney replied shocked as he stood. “No! What would make you think that?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Carson replied with a slight shrug as he studied the floor. “It’s not like I’ve gotten asked on a lot of dates since the accident. I think people are a little afraid of how much work I might be.” He sighed. “Not that I got that many offers before the accident, mind you.”

“Believe me, that wasn’t my intention,” Rodney replied as he closed the distance between them and put a hand on Carson’s shoulder. “All I saw was that you and John get along well, so I figured that would make it easier on both of you. I’ve only wanted good things for both of you – you know that.”

Carson sadly looked up at him. “So you’re not setting me up?”

“Why would I?” Rodney asked, curious, wondering where Carson’s low sense of self-esteem was coming from.

Carson shrugged. “I know I’m not much to look at with my leg and my hand, not to mention the scars…”

“What scars?” Rodney blurted out.

“They’re all along my right side – from my armpit to my knee, from the blast.”

“Oh, Carson,” Rodney replied softly, gently squeezing Carson’s shoulder. “Believe me, you’re still a good-looking guy. And you’re the most compassionate, strong-willed, amazing doctor I know. Not to mention that you’re a great guy – one of the best I’ve ever known. Whoever let you believe you’re anything less since the accident needs to get their head out of their ass. It definitely hasn’t slowed you down any – or diminished your ability to do your job.”

“So, I’m letting my fears get the best of me?” Carson asked.

“Yep,” Rodney replied with a reassuring smile.

“And you didn’t chose me out of pity?”

“Nope.”

“Or because I have a crush on John, so you thought it’d be easier for him?” Carson looked a little shocked once the admission was out of his mouth.

“Nope, but that is an added bonus.” Rodney added, conspiratorially, “And I already kind of figured you had a crush on him, but I wasn’t completely sure.”

“So, now what?” Carson asked after taking a shaky breath.

Rodney squeezed Carson’s shoulder again before releasing him. “You’re simply going to enjoy this. I’ve already given John instructions.”

“Instructions for what?” Carson asked, brow furrowing.

“For wooing you.”

“You’re not serious, are you?” he asked, his eyebrows climbing. “You are, aren’t you?”

“You’d better believe it,” Rodney replied. “It’s tradition on Lapras for one person to do the pursuing.”

“So, what do I have to do?”

Rodney laughed. “Enjoy being pursued and don’t make it too easy on him. He needs the challenge.”

“But if he didn’t look at me twice before the accident, what’s going to make him do so now?”

Rodney grimaced. “I told him to take a second look. He’s still not completely convinced, but at least now he’s open to the possibility.”

Carson leaned against the doorframe. “And what if it doesn’t work out?”

Rodney shrugged. “Then it doesn’t work out. Do you need to sit down?”

“It might be a good idea, but I should get going,” Carson replied. “I don’t want to make more of a fool of myself than I already have.”

“Believe me, you didn’t.”

“Oh, I think I did,” Carson told him with a smile. “Barging in here with accusations and pointing fingers.”

“Then let me walk home with you. You’re not going to slink back to your quarters in shame. Besides, this way, you know that I won’t be able to radio John to intercept you on your way back.”

“Fine.” They headed out into the hallway. “Maybe on the way there, you can explain the whole thing between you, Chuck, and Evan to me?”

“What’s to explain?” Rodney asked as they set off. “We hit it off as friends when I got back. Then one day we realized that there was a mutual attraction between the three of us and instead of having a lot of unrequited love, tension, and jealousy between the three of us, we decided to just get together. Or something like that. It’s a lot like two people getting together, but there’s three of us.”

“But it’s got to be hard, making sure that no one feels left out or that one person doesn’t get too much attention.”

Rodney shrugged. “Sure, we put more work into it than most couples do, but it’s worth it. I can’t explain it, Carson, but this is it for me.” He gave Carson a mischievous look. “You always did say that I was more than enough of a handful for one person.”

“That I did,” Carson replied with a chuckle. “And in return, you got two of them to deal with you.”

They walked the rest of the way in companionable silence. When they reached Carson’s quarters, he said, “Thank you for this.”

“You’re quite welcome,” Rodney replied. “And just remember – you deserve this as much as anybody else.”

Carson nodded. “I’ll try to keep that in mind. Have a good evening, Rodney.”

“You too, Carson.” As he left, Rodney clicked his radio. “It’s safe to come back, guys,” he told Evan and Chuck on their private channel.

“How about you come over to Chuck’s?” Evan asked. “It’s almost bedtime.”

“I’ll be there in a few. Whatever you two might say, I’m not doing a walk of shame back to my quarters in the morning.”

“You have a clean set of clothes here,” Chuck chimed in. “I take it, then, that all systems are a go?”

“For the time being, they are,” Rodney replied as he passed his quarters and headed down the hall in the other direction from Carson’s quarters. “I just hope John was paying attention. I’m almost there.”

“We’re waiting, lover,” Evan purred before they clicked off. A shiver of excitement went down Rodney’s spine and he doubled his pace until he was practically running, thankful that there was no one in the halls to see him.

The next morning, Rodney stretched luxuriously. It wasn’t often that he had nothing on his agenda for the day. He was usually good about abiding by Elizabeth’s rules that he adhere to a normal work schedule, but like all of the other scientists, he tended to “wander” into the lab at some point during his “weekend” to finish up some loose ends on one project or to get another one prepped so it could be started on Monday.

But today was not going to be one of those days. He, Chuck, and Evan had made plans to spend it together. Which would mean sleeping late and spending most of the day in bed. As he opened his eyes, though, he hated that his body now considered “sleeping late” to be the equivalent of 8:30 am. Looking over at his sleeping lovers, he grinned devilishly. He could think of a few ways that he could entice them to start their day early.

As he lightly ran a hand down Evan’s stomach, Evan quietly mumbled, “Don’t even *think* about it. I’m still sleeping.” And to prove his point, he turned on his side, spooning his back against Rodney’s front, the movement casing the sheet to move and pool just below their hips.

“You know you’re just making it easier for me to tease you without waking Chuck,” Rodney whispered in his ear.

“Not if I do this,” Evan replied, taking Rodney’s hand in his and entwining their fingers.

“Who said anything about my hands?” Rodney asked.

To prove his point, he began trailing light kisses starting at Evan’s temple and down his neck. He gently sucked at the juncture of Evan’s neck and shoulder – where his pulse point was definitely showing interest – before continuing on out Evan’s shoulder. By the time his mouth had finished its journey, Evan was panting and his grip on Rodney’s hand had increased.

“Have I told you lately that you’re evil?” he gasped.

“Yes, but I still like hearing it,” Rodney replied. He began kissing his way back across Evan’s shoulder.

“Stop,” Evan choked out just before Rodney was about to turn his attention again to Evan’s pulse point.

Evan guided their entwined hands down to his straining erection. As he wrapped their fingers around the base of his cock, Rodney looked up to find Chuck awake and smiling at them. He smiled back before starting to lightly suckle a spot on Evan’s shoulder. Evan sucked in a breath and tightened their grip. Rodney began slowly pumping Evan’s erection, causing Evan to focus on what was going on and doing his share of the work as well.

Chuck turned onto his back, his erection tenting the sheet. As he watched them and they watched him, he slowly trailed a hand down his chest and stomach before slowly pushing off the sheet. He wrapped a hand around his own cock and matched their speed.

Soon the sound of skin against skin was matched by moans. Evan came first, shooting into Rodney’s hand. Rodney was next, the catalyst being Evan’s tongue against his palm as he cleaned him up, and he came against Evan’s back. When Evan released his hand, Rodney pulled the edge of the sheet up and cleaned him off.

They both watched Chuck, who had his eyes closed and was breathing shallowly. They knew he was close and had closed his eyes to prolong the experience. Evan moved out of Rodney’s embrace and positioned himself so Rodney could watch before he took the head of Chuck’s cock in his mouth. Chuck gasped slightly and instinctively thrust up. Evan placed a steadying hand on Chuck’s far hip as he began sucking him. Chuck’s moans turned to whimpers before he stiffened and came, Evan drinking him down.

Rodney watched them, heat pooling in his gut again at the beautiful sight of his lovers, as Evan gently lapped up the fluids that had escaped before releasing Chuck’s cock from his mouth and settling back in between them.

“What a way to wake up,” Chuck finally said. He grinned. “And to think, we finally have a chance to not get out of bed all day, if we don’t want to.”

“That sounds like a good plan to me,” Rodney replied, reaching over Evan and teasingly tweaked one of Chuck’s nipples.

Evan’s stomach growled and all three of them laughed. “You know the rules,” Chuck sing-songed.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Evan groused as he got up and searched the apartment for his clothes. “I’ll be back.”

As Evan left, Chuck and Rodney curled up together and, after a languid ‘good morning’ kiss, started dozing until Evan returned with breakfast.

After which, they ended up getting up. Some of the soldiers wanted Evan to play in their baseball game on the East Pier. Chuck and Rodney decided to go along and cheer him on, even against Evan’s protests that he wasn’t a good player and therefore his team was doomed.

When they got there, they found Carson among the spectators and sat down next to him. “At least this is more exciting and easier to understand than cricket,” Rodney commented to him.

“I don’t know,” Carson replied with a shrug. “Cricket has its own sort of charm. I didn’t know John played baseball.”

“Well, it is a sport and he is a boy,” Rodney replied, ignoring Chuck’s snort. “And while I don’t think it’s his chosen sport, it does have a similarity to golf in that he gets to hit things.”

Carson shook his head with an amused smile. “I have to admit that I was surprised when he invited me to come watch.”

“I told you he likes you, even if he doesn’t realize it yet,” Rodney told him. “I think he just needed someone to give him permission to do things with you.”

“And the only one who could have done that is you,” Carson replied with a slight tinge of sadness.

“I’m sorry,” Rodney told him. “I didn’t know –”

“Believe me, Rodney, I’m not blaming you. Even if he had been completely free, who’s to say that I would have gotten up the courage to ask him out? This whole thing may have started with a total mess, but I think we’ll be able to hash it out all right.”

The game started and the conversation stopped for the time being. They ended up spending the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon outside, since the game turned into a best-of-three with Evan’s team winning two and John’s team winning one.

Rodney inwardly chuckled when Carson commented that the world must be coming to an end since he wasn’t complaining about getting a sun burn or sun poisoning. He hadn’t felt like mentioning that he *was* wearing his robe – which had long sleeves – and he had pulled up his hood, which shaded his face, when he started feeling hot. He knew that the look further accentuated the point that he was still acting differently, but he didn’t care.

“Feel like going for a walk?” John asked Carson as they cleaned up from their quick lunch.

Carson glanced at Rodney, who simply raised his eyebrows in question, before shrugging and replying, “Sure.”

As they left, Rodney commented dryly, “Ah, it’s so much fun to watch young love blossom.”

Both Chuck and Evan started giggling. “Romanticism isn’t a good fit for you, Rodney,” Evan commented.

“I never said it was,” Rodney replied as they headed out. “And they’re not all that young. But I’m still going to enjoy watching the two of them at least.”

“Dr. McKay?” a voice called after them.

“Yes?” Rodney asked as he turned around.

A young Marine jogged over to him. “I was – um – hoping I could ask you a question.” His gaze flicked first to Chuck and then Evan. “In private.”

“We’ll see you later, Rodney,” Evan said.

“What can I do for you, soldier?” Rodney asked him.

“Well, I heard what you did for Dr. Smith when you delivered her baby and I was hoping you could give me some advice.”

Rodney looked over the burly, black, and definitely male soldier. “Well, you don’t look pregnant to me,” he commented dryly. “I’m sure whatever you need the medical staff can help you with and they do know how to be discreet.”

“I know, but I prefer natural medicine – even if it is alien.”

Rodney sighed. “Okay, let’s go to my quarters and I’ll see what I can do. But if I can’t help you, or if I think that seeking the medical team’s help would be better, you *will* go to the infirmary, understand?”

“Yes, Dr. McKay.”

After that, the requests for Rodney’s help increased. He was surprised by the number of people who were into doing things as naturally as possible, or were simply wanted to try “the old way of doing things” as many of them put it – regardless of the fact that it was alien and actually quite modern. He treated people for what seemed like practically everything, including blisters, upset stomachs, migraines, colds, allergies, and things that were probably contagious. He even treated a few sprained ankles and wrists, a couple minor burns, and one fractured wrist – which he set, then sent the errant botanist to the infirmary to have it looked at properly.

Rodney was also surprised at how grateful they all were for his help. On Lapras, the give and take relationship he had with the rest of the village was an expectation – just like the people expected to repay him with their own goods and services. Here, though, they seemed genuinely surprised and happy when he agreed to help them and genuinely didn’t know what to do in return. Rodney felt bad about charging them, since he didn’t feel that it was a service he could charge for. So when they asked what they could do in return, he told them that he didn’t need anything, so they could do something good for someone else. He figured that with the tension that had sprung up from Chuck and Evan’s beating, the city was in need of some goodwill, regardless of how well the sensitivity training was going.

He could see the ripple effects of what he had started every once in a while throughout the city. Tensions between some of the more competitive scientists relaxed a bit and relations between some of the more experienced military personnel and the newer scientists eased as well. And regardless of what he told people, he still found that they did their best to repay him – even if they did it covertly. It usually consisted of fresh fruit left outside his door when the Daedalus arrived in Atlantis, but once he found a new pair of moccasins as well. That had surprised him the most – they had fit perfectly and looked like exact replicas of the ones he had. He was curious about how that had happened, but figured he’d leave the mystery be.

Rodney also kept a watchful eye on John and Carson. He didn’t interfere with how they did things, even if part of him wanted to tell John that he wasn’t doing things properly and to closely coach him. But, even so, John did come to him regularly with questions and concerns. Rodney was surprised that John actually did seem to be putting a lot of thought and intent into what he was doing. The questions tended to be focused more on Carson and what Rodney knew about him, and how he acted and thought. Rodney did the best he could to help him out, but he had to constantly remind John that he had been gone for four cycles and that at least some of Carson’s likes and dislikes could have naturally changed in that time, not to mention that things could have changed due to the accident and that John had a better idea of what Carson was like after that than he did. Rodney found John’s hesitant desire to make things work with Carson endearing. And with how happy Carson was, he knew it was working.

“You’re sure it’ll work?” John asked before taking a bite of his salad.

Rodney rolled his eyes. “I’m sure it’ll work.”

“It doesn’t sound too much like a pick-up line?”

“John, everything with you sounds like a pick-up line and Carson knows how to read you. You’ll be fine.”

“But I don’t want to rush things, you know? We both know I wasn’t taking this seriously when we started, but I have to admit that it’s working and I don’t want to ruin it now.”

Rodney couldn’t help his smug expression as he replied, “I’m glad you finally agree that my way works. But don’t worry; I think you’re both ready for you to kiss him ‘good night’. I think he’s actually been ready for the past month and a half.”

“And that’s okay?” John furrowed his brow in worry. “I’m not going too slow, am I?”

“For a glacier, no.” Rodney took a drink of water. “And I think that Carson’s needed this pace too. Believe me, it’s surprising how unsure of himself he is when it comes to dating and relationships. Factor in the accident and….” He trailed off.

“Yeah, I get your point,” John replied.

“I think it’s done you a lot of good too,” Rodney told John. “You’re not quite so insane any more. Although, you may want to work on your intensity level a little; it’s still kind of high. You don’t need to think so hard about what you’re doing.”

Carson sat down next to John and they both smiled warmly at each other. Rodney couldn’t help but smile himself when he saw that look that meant for a second the world around them disappeared. “I hope you don’t mind, Rodney,” Carson said when they both returned.

“Not at all,” Rodney replied. “I hope you’re having a good day?”

“Wonderful,” Carson replied. “It’s been very productive and we thankfully haven’t had any injuries yet that have needed any tending to.” He knocked on the table before he started eating.

“So, do you two have any plans for this evening?” Rodney asked.

They both shrugged. “Maybe watch a movie?” Carson said.

“Do you two want to come over and watch one with us?” Rodney offered. “That’s all we were planning on doing tonight too.”

“Won’t Chuck and Evan mind?” John asked.

Rodney shrugged. “They’ll get over it. And since it’s the two of you, I doubt they will. They’ve been asking me how you two are doing and I keep having to tell them to ask you themselves.”

“Well, you can report back that John’s gentlemanly reputation is not in any danger,” Carson told Rodney with a laugh as John feigned a hurt look.

“And that’s the thanks I get for not wanting to drag your good name down with me?” John asked in mock indignation. “It’s bad enough that I’ve gotten a reputation for being Captain Kirk.” He glared at Rodney.

“You brought that on yourself, John,” Rodney told him before shoving a piece of fruit in his mouth. “And maybe now you’ll be able to rid yourself of that – if you can make an honest man of Carson.”

“If the two of you are going to keep abusing me, I’m going to leave,” John told them.

“Please stay,” Carson told him seriously. Rodney saw him hesitate for a second to put his hand on John’s before pulling away.

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Your sensibilities have never been that fragile, John, and I’ve seen you take worse.”

John huffed. “Fine, I’ll stay.”

When they finished, John bussed their table, leaving Rodney and Carson alone for a moment. Carson took the opportunity to say, “I wanted to thank you for what you’ve done for me – for us. I really appreciate it and I think it’s done John a lot of good.”

“I think it’s done you a lot of good too,” Rodney told him. “You’ve seemed a lot happier the past few weeks.”

“I am,” Carson admitted. “John’s been very good to me.”

Rodney smiled. “I’m glad. You deserve it, Carson. You both do.” When John came back, he said, “So we’ll see you two tonight around eight?”

“Sounds good,” John said as they both nodded.

“Is this like a two-month check-in?” Chuck asked that evening as he ate one of the apples that Rodney had brought over.

“No,” Rodney replied. “It’s just a double date sort of thing. Besides, I did my own sort of check-in with them earlier. Not that they knew it.”

“You know, you really should do something about all this fruit,” Evan told him, eating a pear. “I’m surprised it doesn’t go to waste. Maybe you should start taking IOUs for when we get back to Earth.”

“I feel wrong taking people’s money for doing this sort of thing,” Rodney told them. The door chimed and Rodney opened it with a thought. “Besides, I kind of like this whole ‘country doctor’ sort of thing I’ve got going on.”

“So you’re why things have been really slow in the infirmary lately,” Carson commented as he and John entered.

“It’s not my fault,” Rodney replied defensively. “You help one person out and look what happens.”

“He enjoys it, though,” Chuck told them smugly.

Rodney looked sheepish and agreed, “I do. Have I apologized lately for calling your profession voodoo?”

“Not since the first time, but it’s still nice to hear,” Carson told him with a smile.

“So, are we going to get a movie started or what?” Evan asked.

“Impatient are we?” Chuck asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, *some* of us actually have to work tomorrow and I would rather not discount a movie just because it’s four hours long.”

“Like you’d last through a four-hour movie in one sitting anyway,” Rodney told him before saying to Carson and John, “He couldn’t finish the third Lord of the Rings movie.”

“It’s not my fault!” Evan replied indignantly. Making his case, he said, “We were watching the extended edition and I’d just had three coffees with dinner.”

“That would do practically everyone in,” Carson replied sympathetically. “So, what are our options?”

As they picked a movie and settled in, Rodney couldn’t help but wonder how his life had gotten to this point. He was in a city with scientific wonders beyond imagination, he’d found not one, but two people who loved him deeply and he loved in return, and one of his closest friends was finally finding the happiness he deserved.

He snuggled against one side of Chuck, feeling completely content and happy as they tangled hands in Chuck’s lap and he laid his head against Chuck’s shoulder. A moment later, Evan’s hand joined theirs and Rodney felt Chuck laugh. He looked over and saw that Evan had mirrored his position.

“Have I been relegated to the position of ‘snuggle pillow’?” Chuck asked in amusement.

“Only because you’re so good at it,” Rodney replied before kissing Chuck on the shoulder before settling back in as the movie started.

This time, Rodney’s attention was engrossed in the movie and he didn’t look at Carson and John once. When the movie ended, he looked over and they were sitting together, shoulder, hip and thigh touching. Their entwined hands were resting in the valley of their touching legs. He smiled – things were definitely going well for them.

“Rodney?”

“What can I do for you, Sergeant?” Rodney asked without looking up from his paperwork.

“Um,” she hesitated for a moment. “How did you know it was me?”

“You were stuck in my head, remember? It’s kind of hard for me to forget that. What can I do for you, Sergeant?” he asked, looking up at a slightly flustered Laura Cadman.

“Well, I heard what you’re doing for the Colonel and Carson and I was wondering if – maybe,” she twisted her hands together, “you’d consider doing it for me too.”

“I have a hard time believing a self-assured, modern woman like yourself would have a hard time finding a date,” Rodney told her as he straightened up.

“Yeah, well….” She looked down. “You’d be surprised. The uniform puts a lot of people off. And the people it doesn’t put off are wanting things that I am *not* into.”

“Ah, I see.” Rodney shuffled his papers together into a neat stack. “I might be able to do something for you, Sergeant, but I’m not going to make any promises.”

“That’s fine with me,” she replied with a small smile. “What do you need from me? Fifty bucks for a starter fee and a background check?”

Rodney laughed. “I already know you’re not psycho – well, no more than the rest of us. And I don’t charge, though I might want to start considering it, with the way things have been going.” He put a hand on her arm and started guiding her out of the lab. “I will need some information from you – either whether you’ve got your eye one someone specific or, if not, what your preferences are. That sort of thing so I know what I’m working with. Let’s go get a cup of coffee.”

As Rodney and Cadman left the mess hall, his earpiece chirped. He activated it and asked, “Yes?”

“Rodney, I need you in the Gate Room,” Elizabeth told him. “You have a visitor.”

Rodney was surprised to find Natalia waiting for him in the Gate Room. He knew that Atlantis had trade relations with her people, but he had never been called in to help with them, so for him to be called was surprising. He couldn’t help but grin as he approached her. “Natalia! It’s great to see you!” he said, slipping into the Lapran language and customs as easily as he breathed, and touched her cheek in greeting. “I trust you and your family is in good health?”

“We are,” she replied with a smile of her own as she touched his cheek. “As I hope you and your family are.”

“We are. May I offer you something to eat or drink?”

“I am fine, thank you.”

“To what do I owe the honor of your visit?”

“Your people need you, Rodney.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, brow furrowing in worry.

“The Korsans have returned to Lapras and they’re exacting what they believe to be their due for the past two cycles.”

Rodney’s mouth set into a firm line and he slowly let out a long breath, trying to keep himself in check and not go storming through the Gate right that second. “How long has it been going on?” he asked.

“A few weeks,” Natalia replied. “But they’re coming down on them hard.”

“And my family?”

“Safe, the last I heard.”

Rodney nodded sharply. “Thank you, Natalia. I have to make plans. Will you be coming with us?”

She shook her head. “I need to get home and make sure we’re ready, just in case.”

“Okay.” Rodney touched her on the cheek again. “Good luck, Natalia. May we meet again in better circumstances.”

“And to you as well, Rodney.” She touched him on the cheek as well before calling out, “I am ready,” and the Gate began dialing.

Rodney spun around and practically ran up to Elizabeth’s office. “We need to go back to Lapras right now,” he told her firmly.

“Why?” she asked him, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.

“Because the Laprans are under attack!” Rodney replied as if the situation was painfully clear to a five-year-old.

“As a general rule, we don’t get involved in other peoples’ skirmishes, Rodney,” Elizabeth told him evenly.

“This isn’t a skirmish! This is tantamount to a hostile takeover! If we don’t do something now, the Korsans are going to severely cripple them. And then they’ll more than likely move on to the Morykons and Nagdalis and do the same thing to them. And even if they don’t, if they hurt the Laprans enough, it’ll cause serious repercussions among the Morykons and Nagdalis anyway. Are you willing to let three societies die?”

“You’re going to have to explain things a little more.”

Rodney sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, willing himself to remain calm and remind himself that not everyone knew what was going on. “The Laprans, Morykons, and Nagdalis have a little network set up in which, aside from exchanging goods and services, they also intermarry. The Korsans were once part of this group, but were kicked out when it was realized that they were genetically incompatible with the other three groups. And while this happened generations ago, the Korsans haven’t forgotten it – or let the other three groups forget it either. Once a cycle, they kidnap people from the three tribes and take things as well and the tribes just let them. Let’s just say that my best intentions has come back to bite them in the ass. I helped the Laprans repulse the Korsans and found a way to keep them away from all three peoples. It looks like they’ve found a way around what I did. So, I need to go back and fix it.”

Elizabeth steepled her hands and let out a sigh. “Do you really think you can fix this?”

Rodney nodded quickly. “I believe I can.”

“If things are as volatile as you say, I don’t want you going alone. I don’t want to lose you a second time.”

A corner of Rodney’s mouth quirked into a smile. “And I don’t want to be lost a second time. Now, we don’t have much time. I want John and Lorne’s teams, Carson, and Chuck to go with me.” Elizabeth opened her mouth to protest, but Rodney held up a hand and kept going. “Trust me. We won’t need a lot in the way of firepower and the eleven of us can go a long way in teaching the Laprans what they need to know.”

“And what’s Chuck going to do?” Elizabeth asked. “He’s not exactly battle ready.”

“Carson isn’t either! But they’ve both gone through the simulations numerous times and passed. Chuck can be our tactical liaison for them. He’ll teach them how to communicate more effectively and get information around the camp better.”

Elizabeth pursed her lips together and stared at Rodney for a long moment. “Okay,” she finally replied. “You have a go. But I want regular updates.”

“It’s an eight hour walk to and from the Gate! We don’t have time for that!” Rodney paused and took a couple of deep breaths to control himself. “I’m sorry. The reality is it would be impossible for us to get anything done if we keep in regular contact with Atlantis due to the fact that the village is an eight hour walk from the Gate – and I do mean walk – and the polar instability of the planet disrupts any sort of radio contact unless we’re right next to the Gate or within close range of each other.” He huffed. “I would think that you know me well enough to know that I’m not planning on taking all of my closest friends – Darby aside – into a situation I didn’t think they’d be able to handle. Believe me, we’re going in to deal with a bunch of bullies who’ve never had anyone stand up to them until I got there. I think that when they see that I have back up, that we’re serious, and that we’re equipping the Laprans to defend themselves, they’ll back down.”

“And what about the other peoples? You said there were two other tribes?”

“We’ll have the Laprans teach them as well.”

“And you’re confident it will work this time?”

Rodney nodded. “This time we’ll have more people to help and the Korsans will see that we’re not messing around.”

“You have an hour to prepare and head out. If you miss that, you’re not going.”

Rodney nodded as he headed out of Elizabeth’s office. He clicked his radio onto the main channel and announced, “I need Gate Teams One and Two, as well as Dr. Beckett and Gate Technician Chuck Campbell in the Gate Room ready to go off-world for a few days ASAP.” He gave the Gate tech on duty the address for Lapras before heading to his quarters to prepare.

When he returned to the Gate room with his staff, medical pouch and a small pack, he found everyone else assembled and looking at him expectantly. “We’re going to Lapras. They’re under attack by a group called the Korsans and they need our help,” he told them.

“Then why aren’t more of us going?” Darby asked, curious.

“Because the Lapran population is quite small and the Korsans don’t tend to send large attack groups – just thorough ones. So, with our expertise, I believe we’ll be able to help repel the Korsans and set up the Laprans with a means of defending themselves in the future.”

“So what are we waiting for?” John asked. “Let’s move out. We’re ready, Johnston,” he called up and the Gate began dialing.

Before they went through, Rodney told them, “There’s a very good chance there will be some Korsans guarding the Gate, so be ready as you go through. Right now you have surprise on your side.”

The others nodded silently and started heading out with Rodney bringing up the rear.

When he arrived on the other side, the Korsans guarding the Gate had already been subdued and herded into a small group at the foot of the dais, their staffs at the ready and staring at their captors balefully.

“What do you want us to do with them, Rodney?” John asked.

“Tie them up,” Rodney replied as he descended, never taking his eyes off the Korsans, a few of whom seemed to recognize him. “Their comrades can cut them loose later.”

As the Korsans were secured, Rodney went over to the trap door. He thumped his staff on it and a second later a surprised voice called up, “Go away! We’re prepared to fight!”

“Good!” Rodney called down, recognizing Jillian’s voice. “That’s what I’d expect of you!”

He heard twin gasps. “Is that you, Rodney-kun?” Jillian asked, incredulously.

“If it wasn’t, would I still be up here? Open up and let us in.”

“Who’s ‘us’?” came the wary reply.

“I heard you had a little pest problem and brought reinforcements to help clean things up.”

Rodney heard the door scrape and then swing down to reveal Jillian and Kelly grinning up at him. We’d like to get moving as soon as possible,” he told them as he heard the rest of the group assemble behind him. “We have a lot of work to do.”

“And the next sandstorm is due soon,” Kelly told him.

Rodney nodded and hustled everyone down the ladder before him. After he hit the bottom and cleared out of the way, Kelly affixed the trap door in place. The three of them grinned at each other again as they greeted each other with hands to both cheeks and after each, Rodney pulled them both into a tight hug. They were both surprised, but he could tell that they were touched by it.

Rodney quickly introduced Kelly and Jillian to the troupe he had brought with him and they both bowed to each of them in turn. As they headed out, he quietly said to Jillian and Kelly, “You do realize that they’ll be up there when the storm starts again.”

“We know,” Jillian affirmed. “It’s an acceptable result.”

“Things must be bad if you’re willing to let them die,” Rodney commented.

“You got us thinking,” Kelly told him. “And we realized that while we still hold to our original purposes, sometimes it’s necessary to do the opposite in order to preserve them and carry out their full intent.”

Rodney nodded as they moved out, glad they were willing to adapt some of their beliefs to help them survive. “How’s Kirby?”

“He’s just fine,” Jillian replied with a smile. “I think he’s hoping I’ll give him grandchildren soon.”

“Are you close to giving him grandchildren?” he asked.

Jillian’s gaze darted to Kelly before she vaguely replied, “I think it could be a possibility in the near future.”

Rodney grinned. “That’s amazing! Congratulations to both of you!”

As they headed back to the village, Rodney had Jillian and Kelly fill him in on the details of the attacks and he listened carefully, not wanting to miss any of it so he could give the other Atlanteans the full picture and get their advice on the situation.

When they stopped at the halfway point for a break, Rodney briefed Teyla and the men on Lapran society. They easily took it in stride that, for Laprans, touching was a big NO unless absolutely necessary, so they shouldn’t initiate any sort of touch – only reciprocate whatever the Laprans did. Rodney couldn’t help but notice the disappointment in Chuck and Evan’s eyes when he mentioned that meant him as well. At everyone else’s confused looks, he had to explain that he had been adopted by the Laprans and was considered a full Lapran, regardless of where he was originally from.

John grabbed Rodney’s arm as they headed out from the halfway station and he quietly asked, “What’s going on, Rodney?”

“Well, the Korsans are fighting dirty – dirtier than they used to,” Rodney told him, preparing to go into all the details.

“No, I mean what’s going on with you? Why aren’t you in your mission gear?”

“Because, technically, I’m not at work?” Rodney replied shortly. “Besides, it was never discussed what I’d wear when I was off-world. In fact, me going off-world was never discussed period. Besides, I feel more comfortable wearing this here and I think we can use it to our advantage.”

“So you have some ideas?” John asked.

“I might, but I want to run them by all of you once we get settled.”

John nodded. “Sounds good. So, what did the three of you have to talk about for four hours?”

“Well, I *have* been gone for a cycle. A lot’s happened since I left and they wanted to fill me in. If we’re done, John, I want to spend some time with Chuck and Evan.” Rodney let the others squeeze by so he could bring up the rear with his lovers. “How are we doing back here?” he asked them.

“This is amazing,” Chuck replied, wide-eyed.

“Wait until you get to the village,” Rodney told him with an amused smile.

“Is going off-world always like this?”

Evan and Rodney laughed. “Yes, no, and everything in between,” Evan told him affectionately.

“And I have a feeling you’re going to get a sample of that spectrum while we’re here,” Rodney told him.

“I still can’t believe we can’t touch you,” Evan commented.

“It’s not that you *can’t* – per se,” Rodney replied mischievously. “You just have to be more creative about it.”

“Will we get you in a lot of trouble if we’re caught?” Chuck asked worriedly.

“Mmm,” Rodney replied noncommittally with a shrug. “Maybe? But I think it’ll be worth it.”

The three of them walked the rest of the way with very little conversation and “accidentally” touching as much as possible to save up for the coming days, just glad to be together.

When they reached the village, everything was quiet. Even the yaks were quiet, and Rodney didn’t think he had ever been so happy to see them in his life. As they entered the village, it was quieter than Rodney was used to for dinner time and it scared him. He exchanged glances with Kelly and Jillian as he asked, “Is this normal now?” and they nodded.

The others took everything in, seemingly surprised by the craftsmanship of the tent, as well as the sound of the sandstorm outside. Rodney had the men and Teyla drop their packs in the corner made by the tent wall and the face of the cave, knowing they’d be grateful for the relief.

“Father will want to see you,” Jillian said, breaking the ice, her tone all business.

Rodney nodded and, after telling the others where he was going, went with her to their quarters. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before heading inside and stopping next to Jillian just inside the curtain.

Kirby was sitting on his cot, working on his medicine pouch like Rodney had seen him do so many other times. It made him smile and his chest ache at the same time.

“Hello, Kirby-san,” Rodney said quietly.

Kirby’s head shot up, surprise evident on his face. “Rodney-kun?” he asked quietly as he slowly stood. “Is it really you? I’ve been dreaming you’d come, but continually thought it was just an old man’s foolish desire.”

“I’m really here, Kirby-san,” Rodney replied with a wan smile as he closed the distance between them and cupped Kirby’s face in his hands before pulling him into a tight hug. “I came as soon as I could and I brought help.”

“How did you know?” Kirby asked uncertainly as he pulled away, as if he wasn’t sure he wanted to believe or hope that this was truly real.

“Natalia came and told me. We left right after I heard. Come and meet them.”

When the three of them emerged from their quarters, Rodney saw a few other heads peeking out of the other quarters and the rest of his team looking around uncertainly, their hands casually near their weapons. “It’s okay!” he called to the other Laprans. “These people are safe and are here to help us!”

“Is that you, Rodney?” he heard someone call.

“It is!” he called back. “I’m sorry I didn’t return sooner.”

Rodney waited until the others in their borough hesitantly came out, staring at him and his team with a mixture of surprise and wariness, and, in a few faces, a spark of hope. He smiled as he saw all the dear familiar faces, glad that everyone so far was accounted for. As he looked around, though, he saw that two were missing. Jean hadn’t come out of her quarters and neither had Kelly-san. Rodney looked at Kelly with a mixture of hurt, sadness, and surprise and Kelly simply shook his head, the sadness and hurt in his expression now visible.

After everyone had assembled, Rodney said, “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to keep my end of the bargain to all of you and keep the Korsans away forever. But I intend to fix that now. I don’t know what I can say to prove to you that I am speaking the truth. I’ve brought with me people from my home world who are more adept at fighting against unwanted intruders much worse than the Korsans and winning – and most times with worse odds than we have now. I promise that this time we’ll make certain that once the Korsans are driven from Lapras, they’ll never be able to hurt us again.”

“Where are our manners?” Kelly asked. “There will be enough time to deal with the Korsans once we get our guests settled in.”

There were nods all around as people started to move. Rodney translated between everyone and made sure the Atlanteans were situated among the families. And while he wanted to have both Chuck and Evan with him, he understood Evan’s desire to bunk with one of his teammates. The plus side of it was that Carson was then placed with Rodney and Chuck and Rodney had a feeling that he’d be doing a lot of translating between the two medicine men.

“How are you holding up?” Chuck asked quietly when Rodney returned from a last round of checking in on everyone and properly greeting the other Laprans.

“I’m okay,” Rodney replied as he ducked into his quarters, Chuck and Carson following him. “There’s a lot going on here,” he waved a hand at his head, “and I need to sort all of it out.”

“Let us know if you need any help,” Carson told him. “Though, I doubt we’ll be of much help, considering how different our cultures are.”

Rodney smiled. “I appreciate it.”

“Dinner will be ready shortly,” Jillian told Rodney and he nodded and passed the information along.

As they ate, the conversation went back and forth between Rodney rehashing with Jillian and Kirby everything that had been going on since the Korsans had come back and Rodney telling Chuck and Carson stories about happier times on Lapras. When they finished, he felt like he was in a better frame of mind and more prepared to face the task that was ahead of them.

After dinner, Rodney met with the other families in the borough to get more information from them about the most recent events. While he did so, the rest of the Atlanteans waited in the commons. He could tell they were nervous as they played cards and waited for him, even though they did their best to hide it.

“Okay, here’s the deal,” Rodney finally said as he approached them and the men put away their cards. “Once a cycle, the Korsans would normally rough up the Laprans at the end of their tenth month festival and take a few people, some livestock and goods, and then leave, moving on to the Morykons and Nagdalis. The three tribes were given a respite at the last festival due to my actions at the festival before, where I rigged the Korsans’ portable Gate dialer to not get a lock on those three addresses and had the Laprans finally stand up for themselves. The Laprans aren’t sure how the Korsans managed it, but they were able to either fix their dialer or they got a new one somehow. And now they’re back and taking what they consider to be their payment for the time they missed and for what we did to them.”

The men looked around nervously. “This place isn’t exactly hopping with excitement, Rodney,” John replied sarcastically.

“There are five boroughs in total in this village,” Rodney told them. “The other four are set up like this one, but this one is the only one that has access to the cave system, and thereby the tunnel to the Gate. According to Kirby, they subdued this borough first and they’ve been systematically working their way through the other boroughs, and bringing their ‘loot’ through only when they know they’ll be able to make it to the Gate in time for the gap in the sandstorm.”

“What’s the layout of the boroughs?” Evan asked.

As Rodney explained the village’s set-up and the Korsans’ methods of attack, they began planning how to fight back and regain lost people and property. Rodney saw Ronon and the soldiers relax as they worked through a plan of attack. While they talked, the Laprans began filtering out of their quarters and into the common area to socialize and play games.

“Is this normal, Rodney?” Darby asked, looking at the Laprans a little warily.

“It is,” Rodney replied. “They spend their evenings out here in the commons talking and playing games. Believe me, they can’t understand a word we’re saying and they really do need the help. This isn’t some elaborate trap set up so these peoples can take Atlantis. If you’d like, I can take a couple of you over to where the Korsans are to show you what I’m saying is true.”

A few of the men nodded and Rodney picked Teyla and John – knowing they’d carry the most weight when they came back agreeing with him. He led them down one of the corridors to the next borough over. As they got closer, they heard voices – some loud and mocking, others quiet and supplicatory. They stopped when they had a good view of the borough, but Rodney promised they couldn’t be seen. John crouched down low near the wall and Teyla stood behind him. Rodney crouched down next to John.

“What are they saying, Rodney?” Teyla asked.

“They’re, uh,” Rodney blew out a breath. “The Korsans are teasing the Laprans. They’re asking them where their bravado is now that their gaijin, their foreigner, is gone. They’re telling them they shouldn’t have kicked them out of the group – that way this never would have happened. And they’re saying that standing up to them will only make it worse from now on.” Rodney felt his nails bite into his palms and forced himself to relax his grip.

One of the young Lapran men said something harsh and spit on a burly Korsan. The Korsan backhanded him hard, sending him sprawling before glaring at the women, stopping them in their tracks from helping their clansman.

Rodney’s harsh bark of a laugh as he realized who the Lapran was, drew John and Teyla’s gazes and John asked, “What’s so funny?”

“Michael basically told him to go to hell. He always was a feisty one.” More to himself, he added, “He’s grown up a lot this past cycle.”

They watched for a little while longer, Rodney translating when necessary, as the Korsans ran roughshod over the Laprans before they quietly slipped away and headed back to Rodney’s borough. They briefed the men, though some still looked skeptical.

Rodney let out a frustrated breath. “Okay, fine. I’ll take two more people to another borough to prove it. I won’t decide who and they can pick which borough we go to.” He closed his eyes and said, “And it had better not be Chuck and Evan.” There were twin sighs on his right.

The second time, he took Carson and Ronon and Ronon picked the borough. They witnessed a very similar setting when they arrived at their destination.

“How long has this been going on?” Carson asked.

“At least a generation or two, maybe more,” Rodney replied.

“Looks like long enough for them to get them whipped,” Ronon grumbled. “No wonder they kicked them out.”

Rodney nodded as they headed back to his borough. “Hopefully, this time we’ll be able to kick them out for good.” He saw the thoughtful look on Carson’s face. “What is it?” he prompted.

Carson shook his head. “I’m just thinking. I’m surprised they kicked the Korsans out of their group, given the groups’ population sizes if it meant keeping the tribes’ genetic purity or general survival.”

“I don’t think the Laprans, Morykons, and Nagdalis thought of it as genetic purity, per se,” Rodney replied. “More like trying to keep out undesirable traits. They really don’t have room for aggression in their lives.”

“So, what are we going to do?” Chuck asked as the discussion died down.

“We have to teach them how to truly fight back for one,” Rodney replied. “While their beliefs don’t exactly condone violence, they’re not exactly against it either – especially when they realize that it’s for a greater good. They did a really good job the last time, but let’s be honest here – I’m nowhere near you guys in this sort of thing.” He paused for a moment as he stood before adding, “And we’ll have to do it without the Korsans knowing we’re here. I wish I was kidding, but that’s the only way it’s going to work.”

Rodney coordinated with the Laprans so he and the other Atlanteans could hide when the Korsans came by and Rodney had them run it a couple of times to make sure they knew what they were doing.

Once that was done, Rodney gathered everyone in the commons. “We are going to start training you all,” he told the Laprans, “so that you can more effectively fight of the Korsans.”

“You do realize they’ve already kicked our asses once this time around,” Korriss said, “and we’d really like to not have it happen again.”

“I know, which is why I’ve brought my friends along – people much more adept than I am at this sort of thing. We have fought against people and things much like the Wraith,” there was a slight gasp from the Laprans, “and we won. Ronon has fought such things for over twelve cycles – both with us and alone – and has killed many of them and saved a lot of lives. Teyla is a leader among her people and has led them to victory multiple times.” Rodney could see a small glimmer of hope in the Laprans’ eyes as he continued on, telling them about the accomplishments of his team. He finished with, “I trust them with my life, as I trust all of you with my life. If you trust me even a portion of that, please trust them the same measure.”

“I trust you with my life,” Kelly spoke up.

“As do we,” added Kirby and Jillian.

Rodney saw a number of other people nodding and murmuring to each other.

“But what good will it do? They’re already inside the village,” Korriss pressed.

“Then we make sure we don’t let them leave,” Rodney replied. “We *can* do this, people. I have faith in each one of you that this time we will be completely victorious.”

The Laprans were quiet for a while, mulling over what Rodney had said and he gave the Atlanteans a small smile as they waited.

“Did you mention the Wraith, Rodney?” John asked casually.

“I did,” Rodney replied with an affirmative nod. “But to the Laprans, they’re nothing more than scary bedtime stories, and I’d like to keep it that way. But they understand the significance of the Wraith as a threat worse than the Korsans, so it’s a good illustrative point.”

Kirby moved among the group and spoke with the Laprans before finally coming over to Rodney. “We’ve made a decision,” he told Rodney. “We’ll do it. We don’t necessarily like it, but we all know the truth behind what you’ve said. We’ll never truly be free unless we stand up to the Korsans and fight back for what is ours. We do worry, however, about what will happen to the Morykons and the Nagdalis.”

Rodney nodded in agreement. “I worry about them too. But we know for a fact that the Korsans will not bother either of them until they’ve finished with us. If we can deal with them once and for all, they won’t be a threat to either the Morykons or the Nagdalis.” He stood and smoothed out his robes before saying to his teammates, “We’d better get started. We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

After some brainstorming and planning, the decision was made to first train the people in the borough in which they were staying along with the one borough that hadn’t yet been affected, in the hopes that they would be able to stall for time once the Korsans moved on and give Rodney and the rest of the Atlanteans time to work with the remaining Laprans. Rodney and the rest of the Atlanteans went with Kirby to the other borough to talk to the other Laprans. Surprisingly, they were easily swayed into agreeing for help. Rodney had a sneaking suspicion that it had to do with what they had heard about the Korsans from the other boroughs, as well as the number of people Rodney had brought to help and their own summation that if he had been able to do what he had, then that many more people like him would easily get the job done.

They split their time between the two boroughs, spending the mornings and lunchtime with one borough and the evenings with the other. Rodney was surprised at how diligent the Laprans were at learning what the Atlanteans were teaching them. It was arduous at times because he had to translate concepts and actions that didn’t have a corresponding meaning in Lapran, so there was a lot of creative wording on Rodney’s part and some visual aids and demonstrations by the rest of the Atlantean team. But there was definite satisfaction on all sides when the Laprans realized what he was trying to teach them and were able to demonstrate it back.

When the Korsans came through to head for the Gate, the Atlanteans hid and it went off without a hitch. As soon as they passed through and everyone held their breath but no one came back, there was a flurry of activity. Immediately, Laprans were going in all different directions to check on the Laprans that had just been relieved of their tormentors and the Atlanteans were left standing in the middle of the common area, looking completely lost and confused.

Without thinking, Rodney went with Kirby to see if anyone needed medical attention, but half-way to the next borough, he turned around and headed back. “Sorry,” he told them, looking contrite. “It’s just that there’s only Kirby and I and we don’t know who needs medical help or what. I have to go.”

“I’m coming with you,” Carson told him.

“Honestly, I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Rodney replied. “Laprans can be rather shy about personal things like medical problems around people they don’t know. And while you’re a doctor, you’re not a Lapran healer.” He shrugged. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m coming,” Carson told him steadily. “You could always use an extra pair of hands.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied with a quick nod. Looking at the rest of the group, he said, “Okay. Here’s what you can do. Go to the other borough we’ve been working with. Find Charlie and tell him I said they’re gone, be ready.” Rodney pronounced the Lapran words slowly and carefully. “Got that?”

They nodded and headed out as Carson followed Rodney down another fork in the village. When they arrived, Rodney found Kirby and quickly received an update. Turning to Carson, he said, “Okay, so far, so good. It’s mostly emotional injuries rather than physical ones.”

Seeing Rodney seemed to do a lot of good for the shell-shocked Laprans. And while they were initially wary at the sight of Carson, when Rodney explained to them who he was, they visibly relaxed and welcomed him warmly – which brought a smile to Rodney’s heart and lips when he saw Carson’s confused responses to their grins and happy words.

As Rodney and Kirby finished checking on everyone, John and Charlie came running up. “I think he needs to speak with you,” John told Rodney, sounding both confused and concerned.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Rodney asked Charlie, and Carson joined them after carefully excusing himself from a one-sided conversation with one of the grandmothers.

“The others are getting antsy,” Charlie told him. “They want to know what the plan is.”

“They know what the plan is,” Rodney replied. “You and your kinsmen are going to desert your borough and spread out among these three boroughs. Most of my kinsmen will do the same – only enough will remain so the Korsans don’t think anything’s remiss when they return. I and the Atlanteans will spread out as well and fight along side all of you when the Korsans come back.”

“They say they’re not ready. The other Laprans don’t think we’re prepared enough.”

Rodney glanced at John before asking Charlie, “What if I asked John what he thought about them? Do you think they’d take his word if he told them he thought they were ready?”

Charlie shrugged. “They might, but it’s hard to tell.”

“What do you think?”

Charlie squinted at Rodney as he rubbed the back of his neck before shrugging. “I don’t really know. I think we’re ready. We’ve definitely improved a lot since you all started teaching us. Whether or not we’re ready to go against the Korsans is something else.”

Rodney nodded in understanding before asking John, “What do you think? Do you think the Laprans are prepared to fight against the Korsans?”

John shrugged in bewilderment. “I don’t really know. I’ve never actually seen a Korsan fight. Do I think the Laprans can hold their own in a fight? Sure – since you said their arms technology is about the same.”

Turning back to Charlie, Rodney said, “He said he thinks you’ll be able to hold your own in the fight.”

“That doesn’t sound very comforting,” Charlie commented. “And the shrug doesn’t inspire a whole lot of confidence.”

Rodney laughed. “I know, but that’s just John. Come on, let’s go back and I’ll see what I can do.”

Rodney took his leave of Kirby and the four of them headed over to Charlie’s borough. As soon as they entered, there was a clamor of voices, all wanting Rodney’s attention. Rodney held up his hands and shushed everyone.

Once they were quiet, he said, “Look, I know you’re scared. You’re worried that you won’t be able to hold the Korsans back, let alone defeat them. I know how you feel – I’ve been there numerous times myself. But I have to tell you, I’m proud of you – all of you. You’ve done an *amazing* job the past few days of learning everything we’ve taught you. I know it hasn’t been easy. And I believe that you’ll be able to defeat the Korsans.”

There was some quiet scoffing at that as Rodney continued, “You know how I know this? Because you have some secret weapons the Korsans don’t have.” The Laprans looked at him, perplexed. “They may want what you have, but you want to keep it more. Use that to your advantage. Let your anger be a source of power for you and use it to keep yourselves focused and motivated. Whatever you may think or feel, you do not deserve the way the Korsans have been treating you. Your parents and grandparents did not deserve it. They realized a long time ago that the Korsans possessed certain characteristics that, if mixed with your own – as well as those of the Morykons and Nagdalis, over time would hurt all of you – the Korsans included.”

Rodney paused for a moment to let them absorb that thought before continuing, “But instead of taking this news with dignity and working to find another productive way of survival, the Korsans decided to pillage and hurt you – showing you a perfect example of why it was right in the first place to not allow them to intermarry with your people. But instead of standing up to them, your forefathers allowed it to happen. I can’t begin to guess what arguments they used to assuage their guilt over what was happening, but they were wrong. Non-violence is a very noble thing to aspire to, but don’t use it as a cover for cowardice.”

He stopped for a moment before changing tacks and saying, “Look, I know this is a lot to take in and we don’t have much time. But if you want to ever have a chance of not having to worry about the Korsans ever again, you *have* to do this – and I know you can. Now, we have a lot of work to do before they return and we need to be ready.”

John sat down next to Rodney with a sigh. “I don’t know how you do it. I’m tired just from last minute training exercises. You’ve been running around like a chicken with its head cut off translating, putting out fires, giving medical care, and doing God knows what else and you don’t even look winded.”

Rodney looked at him smugly as he ate a bit of stew. “Vast energy reserve,” he finally replied. “All of the energy I used to expend on yelling at subordinates and being stressed out all the time has been stored up in the event of an emergency or crisis.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” John replied between bites. “But I will admit that seeing you in action here makes some things make a lot more sense.”

“How so?” Rodney asked with raised eyebrows.

John shrugged as he finished chewing. “Like the way you talk – both how your emotions are more subtle, but at the same time more present; and how you tend to make sure that the first response you get back is either yes or no. Or how you relate physically to other people – it’s surprising that, with the whole ‘no touching’ rule, there doesn’t seen to be a concept of personal space once you know someone.”

Rodney laughed at that. “No, there really isn’t. But it does do its job of reminding you about the rules while fostering a sense of intimacy. Anything else?” he asked, amused.

“The comfortable silence. It’s weird that it doesn’t feel weird or awkward. I could go on, but I think you get the idea.” He glanced across the tent. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to go talk to Carson.”

“How’s that going?” Rodney asked.

“Slowly,” John replied and they both chuckled. “But it’s good. We’re enjoying ourselves.”

“Good,” Rodney told him. “It looks like my men have the same idea as you,” he said as Chuck and Evan sat down with them. John nodded and left.

“We miss you,” Chuck told him.

“I miss you both too,” Rodney told them. His hands gripped his empty bowl to remind himself not to touch them.

“Can we go somewhere private?” Evan asked quietly. “Even if only for a few minutes?”

Rodney scanned the crowd in the commons. “Yeah, I think so.” He stood and they followed. He found Kirby and Jillian and told them he needed to speak with Chuck and Evan in private and they nodded.

Once inside his quarters, Rodney looked at Chuck and Evan for a moment, fidgeting nervously. “I don’t know if I can do this here,” he told them before glancing past them to the closed curtain. “It feels too weird.”

“It’ll be fine,” Evan replied with an amused smile as he and Chuck closed the distance between the three of them and stood as close as Kelly would have, an arm around each other’s waist. “We just need a few minutes alone with you to let you know how much you’re appreciated and loved.”

“And while you’re busy doing for everyone else, we wanted to do a little something for you,” Chuck added.

Rodney raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what would that be?”

Evan cupped Rodney’s cheek and kissed him slowly and thoroughly. Rodney whimpered softly in the back of his throat and melted into Evan’s touch, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him close, his other hand coming up and clenching Chuck’s shirt. When they pulled away, Rodney instinctively turned and met Chuck in a similar kiss, Chuck’s hand coming up to caress the back of Rodney’s neck. As they kissed, all of the desire, need, affection, love, lust – everything that he felt for them aside from feelings for a bound friend – that Rodney had neatly packaged away before stepping through the Gate pounded back into his chest and flowed through his body, sending tingles down his spine and leaving him pulsing with need and desire. While Evan and Chuck kissed, Rodney felt his breathing get even shallower, and he was certain there was no way he’d be able to back out into the commons any time soon.

“Are you two trying to kill me?” he asked hoarsely when they broke apart.

Chuck and Evan both laughed, and Chuck put his forehead against Rodney’s temple as Evan leaned in to kiss the base of Rodney’s neck. “Not intentionally, no,” Chuck replied. “Do you want us to stop?”

“Well, the prudent answer would be, yes, we need to stop now. But, no, please don’t stop.”

“Good,” Evan murmured into his skin. “Because we would have done our best to dissuade you.”

“You’re doing a really good job with your argument right now,” Rodney replied breathlessly, before sharply inhaling when Evan began suckling on the juncture of his shoulder and neck as Chuck began combing his fingers through Rodney’s hair as he smiled at him affectionately.

“I don’t – I don’t have anything, you know, to um,” Rodney started, his vocabulary quickly diminishing.

“Well, I can think of a number of things we can do where we don’t need ‘anything’,” Chuck told him with a lascivious grin.

Rodney couldn’t help but grin back. “Then what are we waiting for?” he asked. “We only have a small window of opportunity here.”

Chuck quickly fell to his knees and Rodney groaned. The sight of either of his lovers on their knees would never get old.

“We have to be careful,” Rodney belatedly protested, knowing for certain that Evan was going to be leaving a mark and there was a lot of potential with what they were about to do.

“Oh, I can do careful,” Chuck replied. “And quiet, too, even if neither is as much fun as loud and uninhibited.”

“You talk too much,” Evan told him before recapturing Rodney’s mouth.

Chuck rolled his eyes as his fingers deftly undid the lacings on Rodney’s pants before carefully pushing them out of the way and letting them fall around his ankles. Rodney moaned softly into Evan’s mouth as the cooler air caressed his erect cock.

“I’d comment about the lack of underwear, but we knew that already,” Chuck said.

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Will you just get on with it already?”

Chuck smirked up at him. “With pleasure.”

As his mouth descended on Rodney’s cock, Rodney wasn’t sure where to give his attention – Chuck’s talented mouth on his cock, Evan’s talented mouth on his own, or Evan’s hand, which had found its way underneath Rodney’s shirt and was doing wonderful things to his nipples. Rodney groaned as he took it all in, knowing he wouldn’t last very long under the pleasurable onslaught.

Chuck’s left hand came up to still Rodney’s hips from thrusting as he continued taking his slow time with Rodney’s cock, lavishing attention on it as he licked, sucked, and nipped at the rigid member. Rodney groaned in frustration as his right hand found its way under Evan’s shirt and mirrored what he was doing, causing Evan to groan in response. His hand wandered down and into Evan’s pants, where he gently caressed Evan’s erection.

Evan bit back a moan as Rodney withdrew his hand so he could open Evan’s pants and have better access to one of the objects of his desire. When he retook Evan in hand, Evan thrust into his hand and Rodney laughed into his mouth, loving what they were doing to each other. He matched his strokes with what Chuck was doing to his cock, but all too soon he could feel himself rushing towards the edge. As he came, he bit down on the patch of Evan’s skin he had been suckling, causing Evan to still and come as well.

As soon as Chuck finished swallowing the last of Rodney’s come, he took Rodney’s hand from Evan’s cock and began licking Evan’s come off of it. Both men groaned as they watched the arousing scene before them.

“Stand up,” Evan told Chuck huskily and waved him up.

Chuck looked at them uneasily, not sure what was going on, as Evan caught Rodney’s gaze and smirked. Rodney nodded in response and smirked as well before they both fell to their knees in front of Chuck.

He whimpered before plaintively asking, “Are you two trying to kill me?”

They didn’t respond as they worked together to open Chuck’s pants and free his erection. Chuck tangled a hand in both heads of hair as they both steadied him with a hand on his hips. Together, they began to suck him off, easily working together on his cock to bring Chuck as much pleasure as possible. Rodney had to admit, there was also something incredibly arousing about kissing one of his partners around the other’s cock.

Chuck’s soft moans and whimpers egged them on, taunting him like he had Rodney. When Chuck came, Evan swallowed his come, then kissed Rodney deeply.

Afterwards, they all made themselves presentable again, checking to make sure there wasn’t any incriminating evidence. Then Rodney pulled them each into a tight embrace and kissed them both deeply – first Evan, then Chuck.

“Thank you,” he told them quietly. “I really needed that.”

“We know,” Chuck smirked as he fixed Rodney’s hair again.

“We should, you know,” he pointed to the curtain.

“Yeah,” Evan replied regretfully.

When they returned to the common area, there were a few curiously raised eyebrows from their group, but the Laprans seemed unaware of what had just happened.

“Everything okay?” Jillian asked him as Chuck and Evan rejoined their group.

Rodney nodded, smiling fondly at her and refusing to feel guilty about what he, Chuck, and Evan had just done. “Everything’s great.”

“They’re coming! They’re coming!” a voice yelled, waking Rodney and the rest of the camp with a start early the next morning.

“Shit,” Rodney murmured as he heard a muttered “Fuck!” from Chuck’s direction.

There was a flurry of activity as people scrambled to dress and get to their stations, rousing others as they went. As Rodney took his place, he hoped the extreme crash course they had given the other Laprans while the Korsans were gone would be enough.

When they heard the Korsans come down the passageway, Rodney knew that his kinsmen had done their job and the Korsans weren’t expecting anything out of the ordinary and he breathed a sigh of relief. They still had the element of surprise on their side. It took all of Rodney’s willpower to keep himself still and not start fighting the moment the Korsans entered the borough, and he could tell a number of the Laprans were getting restless as well. Whether it was from fear or a desire to put their new knowledge to use, he didn’t know.

He concentrated on his breathing as he slowly counted them and went through the plan again in his mind. They were to go about their business and allow the Korsans to return and get settled, thinking nothing was out of the ordinary. But the moment one of them harassed a Lapran in *any* way, they would start fighting back.

Rodney thanked whatever deity was out there that while the Korsans hadn’t allowed the Laprans to go into the caves to practice with their staffs, they still let them do it in the borough, so it had become common for there to be any number of staffs present in the morning while the Laprans practiced their katas and sparred with each other under the Korsans’ hawk-like gaze.

Rodney gazed around as he finished one of his forms, making eye contact with each of the more experienced Laprans before glancing at the quarters where he knew Chuck and Carson were located and starting the next kata.

It didn’t take long. One of the women stumbled on her way to serve the Korsans breakfast and the man backhanded her.

“Now!” Rodney yelled.

The nearest Lapran slugged the Korsan, sending him reeling, wide-eyed and holding his jaw. As expected, the Korsans retaliated and the fight was on. The Korsans quickly recovered from their surprise and really put the Laprans to the test, but the Laprans didn’t let Rodney down. He could see the determination in their eyes as they fought back – those the most comfortable doing it with their staffs, or a few ganging up on a Korsan and doing their best to land as many punches and kicks as possible. Chuck, Carson, and Rodney circulated among the group, helping out wherever they could, but letting the Laprans do most of the fighting – knowing they needed to be the ones to do it.

As the Korsans were slowly subdued one by one, the Atlanteans helped the Laprans tie up and gag the outraged Korsans before relieving them of all their weapons. When they finished, Rodney looked over their handiwork with a grim satisfaction. The Korsans definitely looked the worse for wear, even though he knew that he and the other Laprans hadn’t fared much better, but he knew the Laprans would accept that.

“What do we do with them now?” someone asked.

“We’ll take them to Charlie’s borough and secure them there, as planned. Then we’ll go from there,” Rodney replied, taking his gaze off of the Korsans and looking around at the gathered Laprans. “We make this decision as a whole.”

The Laprans nodded and murmured their agreement as Rodney and a few others prodded the Korsans to their feet and then frog-marched them to the other borough, where they secured them together and to some tethers that had been attached to one of the poles. The glaring Korsans got the point without anyone saying a word – if they struggled to get free, they risked the chance of the structure coming down on them.

As they finished, John and Ronon showed up with Laprans from their groups and their captured Korsans and their prisoners were secured in a similar fashion. When they finished and a handful of Laprans took up posts as guards, Rodney said, “We need to gather everyone and decide the fate of the Korsans. Do it as quickly as possible and we’ll meet in my borough.”

“Why your borough?” John asked as they all moved out.

“It’s more centrally located,” Rodney replied. “I thought you had figured that out.”

John looked a little sheepish as they headed back. Rodney had to stop a few times to check injuries, but no one had been seriously hurt – the injuries were mostly sore spots that would turn into some fantastic bruises, and a couple of split lips and black eyes. There were a small handful of broken bones, and those people were helped back to Rodney’s borough if necessary so their bones could be set there.

But Rodney could tell the change in the Laprans as they walked back. The mood was lighter and the Laprans chatted among themselves.

“You did good,” Rodney whispered to Chuck as he bumped Chuck’s shoulder with his own.

Chuck smiled and replied, “Thanks. It was kind of scary, though, you know?”

Rodney nodded. “I know. Are you hurt anywhere?”

Chuck shook his head. “Not badly. I took a hard punch on my right side from a Korsan and one of the Laprans accidentally smacked me on the left side with their staff. So I’ll have some nice bruises, but it’s nothing to worry about.”

Rodney instinctively reached into his pouch and produced some leaves. “Here,” he said, grabbing Chuck’s hand and putting them in his palm. “These will help with the pain.”

Chuck’s expression turned inscrutable as he started to hand them back. “Rodney, I –”

“Take them,” Rodney told him in a tone that brooked no argument. “This isn’t favoritism.”

Chuck glared at him as he put the leaves in his mouth and began chewing them. “Happy now?” he asked.

“Ecstatic,” Rodney replied as they entered his borough.

Rodney watched with a small smile as Carson fussed over a cut on John’s eyebrow, to John’s embarrassed amusement, and made him submit to a quick once-over. He smiled to himself, knowing that they were going to work.

Evan quickly joined them. “Are you two all right?” he asked quietly, running a hand down Chuck’s arm. He started to reach out to Rodney, but stopped himself.

Rodney smiled at the action. As much as he knew it hurt them to not touch him while they were here, it made him feel too weird when they did, and he didn’t feel like answering the other Laprans’ questions about it.

“We’re fine,” Chuck replied as he swallowed the last of the leaves. “Though Rodney here doesn’t seem to think I can take a few bruises.”

“Where are they?” Evan asked immediately.

Chuck rolled his eyes in exasperation as Rodney smirked. “One on each side – one from a punch and one from a mistaken staff hit. The punch is against my bottom ribs and the staff was about two inches below that.” He glared at Rodney before telling Evan, “Rodney made me chew some leaves, which he said will help with the pain, but I’m sure they’ll also null any actual bruising, thereby voiding any respect I’d be able to get from fighting.”

“No, you’ll still get the bruises,” Rodney told him. “The leaves really were just for the pain.”

When the rest of the Laprans had arrived, crowding into the borough, Rodney went to address them. “Congratulations,” he told them. “We accomplished our directive and have contained the Korsans.” He paused while a cheer went up from the Laprans. “But now we need to figure out what to do with them. I have a feeling that our make-shift containment will be just that – make-shift – and it won’t hold them for long. This is your fight. What should we do with them?”

“Send them home with a good kick in the ass,” someone said.

“Kill them all,” someone else replied. “Take revenge for what they’ve done to us and our families over the years.”

“We’re better than that,” someone else said. “We should just send them back to Korsa to show them that we won’t stoop to their level of brutality.”

Rodney winced inwardly. “As much as I agree with that option, I don’t think you’re going to want to just let them go. Not only have they suffered physically today, their egos have taken quite a beating. There’s a good chance they’ll take their revenge on us before they leave. Or they’ll come back with reinforcements and completely overwhelm us. Or they might do both. They may also decide that this is the time to take out their punishment on the Morykons and Nagdalis. Do you really want to submit them to that, when you have the chance to stop this once and for all right now?”

There was silence as they all thought about that.

“What *can* we do?” someone asked.

“What do we *need* to do?” Kelly countered and Rodney smiled. Leave it to Kelly to turn the discussion from helpless into ownership. He had never let Rodney get away from anything and he wasn’t going to let his kinsmen do it either.

Rodney gave the other Atlanteans, who had moved off to one side of him, a reassuring smile as the conversation among the Laprans continued as they brainstormed.

“I think we need to take their portable dialers from them,” drew Rodney’s attention.

“But they still have a way off of their planet that won’t deter them from going to Morykos or Nagdalia,” someone else responded. “Just here, since they know they won’t have a way out of here. Could we do something to the Morykon and Nagdali Gates?” the speaker asked Rodney. “Not to cripple them, but to protect them?

Everyone’s attention turned to Rodney. “It’s possible,” he replied. “There is a way we could deal with their Gates so they’d have to rely on their Gate dialers like us.”

“Would they allow us to do that to them, though?” someone else mentioned. “Because that could leave them in the exact same situation we’re in.”

“Let’s go back to getting the Korsans out of here, first,” Kelly said. “We don’t have much time.” He glanced at the Atlanteans and asked Rodney, “Is there a way we could get better weapons?”

Rodney smiled at him, thankful that he was willing to help lead the discussion. Kelly would make a great leader one day. He shrugged and replied, “Maybe?” He asked John, “Do you think we could get more other weapons for the Laprans?”

John shook his head. “I doubt Elizabeth would go for it.”

“It’s better not to,” Ronon added. “It’s too much of a problem afterwards. It’s better to use whatever they’ve got on hand.”

Rodney’s eyes lit up. “Knives. They’ve got knives. Could you teach them?” he asked excitedly.

Ronon, Teyla, and the military men looked among each other and quietly discussed it. “It’s possible,” John finally replied. “Do they all have knives?”

“Most of them do – at least most of the adults do. They’re not all the same type, though.”

“We can work with that,” Ronon told him.

Rodney grinned as he turned back to the Laprans. “We can’t get you better weapons,” he told them. “But we can better teach you how to use what you have.”

“You already have,” someone replied grumpily.

“No, I mean your knives,” Rodney replied and there was a collective gasp from the crowd. He held up his hands to quiet them. “I know, I know – all sorts of bad potential there. I’d rather not do it either, but I think we’ll have to. The Korsans will more than likely get free before we’ll be able to have everything else in place and we’ll have to fight again. Only this time they’ll be madder than anything you’ve ever seen before and you’ll have to put up a real fight. If you’d like to think about it, please do – but we really don’t have much time.”

“I think we should do it,” Kelly replied. “I think we’ve paid long enough for what our ancestors did to theirs and now they need to be taught a lesson because they’re acting like recalcitrant children.”

“But with knives?” someone else argued. “That’s like using a hammer to shape a small piece of glass.”

“Sadly, some people will only learn by violence,” Kelly replied. “We’ve heard this from some of the other groups and we even have a few tales of our own from our distant past that will attest to that as well. Just because we agree to take up arms in this one instance doesn’t mean that we’ve thrown aside everything we believe in. We’re doing it to preserve our lives and our beliefs and protect our children.”

Rodney could hear murmured assent ripple through the group, as well as murmurs of apprehension. As much as he wanted to yell at them and verbally pound them into submission, he knew that this was a decision they’d have to arrive at on their own, for better or worse, since it was something they were going to have to live with for a long, long time.

As Kelly fought with the other Laprans, Rodney couldn’t help but feel immensely proud of his bond friend. He was holding his own easily and fighting eloquently with them, slowly bringing them around so that even the grumblers couldn’t get away from the truth of what they were up against and what they had to do – as much as they still hated it.

When they finally agreed to learn how to use their knives as weapons, Rodney disbanded the group, telling them to return to their boroughs and to get ready to start training immediately. He instructed Charlie’s borough to get their knives and anything they’d need for a few days, then return to the boroughs they had been assigned to protect. He also split his borough up among the other three – knowing it would save a lot of time in the long run and give him more time to do what he needed to do.

Once the Laprans had gone, Rodney got together with the other Atlanteans and told them what the Laprans had agreed to. “They’re not happy about it,” he ended with, shrugging, “but they see that they don’t have much choice. Okay, I’m going to need all of you to go back to the boroughs you were working with before – they trust you and it’ll be easier to teach them now than if we switched things up. Chuck and Carson, we’ve got to get working on a plan for the Morykon and Nagdali Gates.”

“But I don’t know anything about the Gates,” Carson complained as they went their separate ways.

“That’s why you’re just going to be the messenger.”

“The *what*?” Carson squawked indignantly. “I know I may not have had training in Lapran medicine, but you’ll need me here because we both know there will be injuries.”

“Okay, fine,” Rodney agreed. “Go help the others train the Laprans,” he said, waving Carson off. “Make sure they’re teaching them to wound the Korsans, not kill them.”

When they were alone, Chuck asked him, “How are you holding up?”

“Surprisingly well,” Rodney replied as he dug through Chuck’s pack for his tablet. “Okay, we’ve got a lot of work to do and probably not a lot of time.” He found the tablet and sat down cross-legged with it in his lap as he waited for it to turn on.

Chuck sat down next to him so he could see the tablet. “The one who did most of the talking today, that’s Kelly isn’t it?”

“It is,” Rodney replied with a nod as he began opening programs. He glanced up at Chuck and frowned. “I never introduced you properly, did I?”

“No,” Chuck replied with a smile. “But we have been really busy, so it’s understandable. So what are we doing?”

“Okay, here’s what I’m thinking we could do,” Rodney told him as he brought up a few of the programs. “What do you think about doing this?”

They worked together quickly, Rodney’s hands flying over the tablet as they made up plans to temporarily disable the Morykon and Nagdali Gates to protect them from the Korsans and how Chuck could present it to them.

“Okay, I think you’re set,” he finally told Chuck, handing the tablet back to him and began gathering some food and placing it in his pack and making sure he had a portable dialer. “Here’s what I want you to do. I need you to leave as soon as this conversation is finished. When you get to the end of the tunnel, stow this between the ladder and the wall.” He handed Chuck a portable dialer wrapped in cloth that had a program loaded onto it to reactivate the Gates. “When you get above ground, dial Atlantis first and give Elizabeth an update on what’s going on. Tell her we’ll be back as soon as we possibly can and keep the conversation as brief as possible. Then dial the Morykons – their address is the first one there.” He pointed at the address on the top of a word document on Chuck’s tablet. “And when you go through, tell them this,” he pointed to a Lapran phrase that was spelled out phonetically. “It says that you’re an Atlantean and that you’re coming on behalf of the Laprans and that you need to see Natalia. Once you’ve finished with the Morykons, move on to the Nagdalis. Natalia will either go with you or make sure you have an introduction to them.”

“And if they don’t listen to me?” Chuck asked.

“Mention the Korsans. That should get them to listen. Now you need to go.” Rodney helped Chuck put his pack on.

Chuck paused for a minute and then frowned. “You’re just getting me out of the way to keep me safe, aren’t you?” he asked indignantly. “Things are about to get really hairy and you want to get me out of the way since I don’t have as much experience as the rest of you.”

“While that may be true,” Rodney replied as he started propelling Chuck to the entrance of the caves, “that thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. You’ll be saving two civilizations from the Korsans while we do what we can here.”

“What makes you so sure the Korsans aren’t there as well?”

“Natalia would have said so. Besides, they don’t have enough people to deal with all three groups at once – or even two at once. Now go.”

Chuck started the last few steps to the caves, then stopped and turned back. “What should I do when I’m done with the Nagdalis? And what about the guards? The Korsans have been back to the Gate. They would have seen that the guards were dead. They could have gotten more when they went home.”

“You come back here and help us, you doofus,” Rodney replied affectionately. “The Korsans could have set up more guards or they might have figured that it was a weird one-time occurance – you’ve seen how they treat the Laprans. But that’s a chance you’ll have to take.” He smirked. “And you were accusing me of trying to keep you completely safe.”

“Do you think we could suspend the rules this once?” Chuck asked softly.

Rodney nodded. “I think Evan would understand.”

They closed the distance between themselves and hugged each other tightly before kissing each other deeply.

“Kiss Evan for me when you get a chance?” Chuck asked when they pulled apart.

“Will do,” Rodney replied with a smile. “But you’ll be doing it soon enough yourself. Now go.”

Rodney watched Chuck disappear into the caves before turning back to face the commons area and sighing. There was so much that needed to be done that he didn’t know if they’d be done in time. And he was afraid the Laprans wouldn’t be able to defeat the Korsans this time and that they would end up getting massacred.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He had to keep thinking positively. The Laprans had done exceedingly well every time they had needed to fight against the Korsans, there was no reason to believe that they wouldn’t now – especially now that they knew how high the stakes were. He just hoped the naysayers wouldn’t bring down the rest of them – that was the last thing they needed right now.

He cleared his head and focused on the task at hand. He made sure the borough was as secure as possible – fires were out and valuables hidden away – before gathering up some food for himself, as well as a change of clothes, and making sure his medicinal pouch was completely stocked before heading out. He needed to see where things stood and help out where he could so they would be ready in time.

That night as they ate dinner, Rodney asked Kelly, “How did this whole thing with the Korsans get started anyway? I’ve only heard bits and pieces and it’s been kind of hard explaining it to my friends.” He pointed to the other Atlanteans, who were watching them with mild curiosity.

Kelly shrugged as he ate. “It started a long time ago – just before the storms started. It was believed that the storms were partly in response to the decision to exclude them from the intermarriage network, but our ancestors remained convinced that that was the right thing to do and we adapted to the storms, thinking that when we had paid for what we had done, the storms would stop.” He shrugged. “I doubt that that’s really the case – considering that this is a steep price to pay for what had been done. Soon after that, the raids started. The Korsans soon proved our ancestors right in their decision with their raids. They always wanted more than we were able to give. The same with the Morykons and Nagdalis.”

“Was it ever determined if the people the Korsans took had any special value in marriage?”

“I don’t know. You would have to ask Kirby about that. But I would suspect not, considering how random the abductions were. What would they do with Jean or,” he stilled for a moment and stared into his food, “my father?”

“Has there ever been an attempt to retrieve the people or property that were taken?”

“I’ve heard that it was attempted a few times back in the beginning, but the Korsans were too formidable and unwilling to listen to reason. And some of the Laprans didn’t want to come back. I think that’s what hurt them the most – that there could be Laprans who had been captured who were happy with the situation they were in.”

“And that’s when the stories of love overcoming such different backgrounds started, wasn’t it?” Rodney asked gently.

Kelly nodded. “It gave our ancestors hope for the future that one day it might be resolved and that the Korsans would at least come to their senses and leave us alone.” He laughed. “Not that that’s exactly worked. And now we’re attempting to clean up their mess and deal with this once and for all. Most of us believe that if the sandstorms have not stopped by now, that either they weren’t started because of what we did to the Korsans or they were, but they’ve continued because now we’re not doing what we should have done a long time ago and nipped the Korsans’ actions in the bud.”

“Forever the optimists,” Rodney replied with a wry smile.

“We have to hope for something. I’m sure your people are the same way.”

“You’re right, we are – always hoping for something just out of our reach, even if we don’t know what to do with it once we’ve got it.”

“We should get back to training,” Kelly said as he finished eating. “What is the plan anyway? Wait until the Korsans free themselves and then go from there?”

“Pretty much,” Rodney replied. “They won’t be held for long and we don’t have the ability at the moment to make sure that once we put them through that they won’t come back with larger forces or go to either the Morykons or Nagdalis.”

“And your kinsman who is missing – he’s doing that now, is he? Working with the Morykons and Nagdalis?”

“I certainly hope so,” Rodney replied.

“Is he your bond friend?” Kelly asked with a perplexed look on his face. “I’ll admit that I don’t know which one of them it is. I could tell which ones it’s not, but that still leaves a few possibilities.”

“It’s complicated,” Rodney replied as he finished eating. “I’ll explain it once this is all over and I’ll make sure that you’re introduced properly.”

Kelly nodded. “We’d better get moving. There’s a lot that needs to be done before that day.”

Rodney circulated among the Laprans as the Atlanteans trained them with their knives, helping translate when gestures simply weren’t enough and correcting when needed. He knew they were racing against the clock and hated not knowing when the zero hour would come.

But, as almost expected, it came too soon. Nothing had happened at the moment Rodney’s sense of impending doom kicked in, but he knew that they were now on borrowed time. But he was thankful that the small handful of days that they had been given had made the Laprans ready enough for the task at hand. The Laprans had their instructions – do not use their knives until they absolutely had to, do not kill unless absolutely necessary, and to drive the Korsans towards the caves. Rodney had already hid the Gate dialers belonging to the Laprans to protect them from the Korsans. And the Atlanteans had strict instructions to not use their guns. Rodney had tried to get them to disarm themselves but was only able to persuade them as far as stowing their P90s and their clips separately in their packs, after many assurances that the Laprans wouldn’t disturb their personal items without express permission.

And Chuck had returned with news that he had been successful with both the Morykons and the Nagdalis and that both groups wished them luck.

“Why don’t they get involved and help the Laprans?” Chuck asked Rodney after he gave him the report.

“Because they’ve got enough to worry about making sure that they’re ready if this doesn’t work,” Rodney replied. “Because if we don’t stop the Korsans, the Morykons and Nagdalis will be next.”

“Okay, what do you need me to do?”

“Go help make sure we’re ready.”

The night before Rodney was sure the Korsans would attack, Kelly and a few of the more radical Laprans met him after dinner. “They think that as your bond friend, I’d have the most influence over you and that I’d be able to help persuade you,” he told Rodney.

“Well, I’d have to hear what they have to say first,” Rodney replied calmly and kept his expression neutral as he leaned back against his borrowed cot.

“We think that once we have defeated the Korsans,” Henry said, “we should go to the Korsans’ home and take back what they have taken from us.”

“And why do you think that’s a good idea?” Rodney asked him neutrally, though he made sure he made eye contact with everyone in the group. “If you do that, would it make you any better than the Korsans? Would it show them that you are above them? No. It would show them that you’re no different than they are and only feed the fire that’s been fueling them.” He leaned forward and spoke to them softly. “I know it hurts to know that people you love are gone forever, but we can’t change that. We have to move forward like we’ve always done and make the most of this situation.”

“Then how will they learn to leave us alone?” Charlie asked.

“Oh, believe me, they’ll learn. I have every faith that you will teach them a valuable lesson in the next few days that they will not soon forget. Now, listen to me. There will be no more talk of retaliation in kind on the Korsans. If I find out that you still conspire to do so in private, I will make sure that you are all exiled. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, Rodney-san,” they murmured, looking dejected.

Rodney’s tone softened. “Now you all better get going and get some sleep. The next few days will be very trying for all of us.”

Rodney was forcefully pulled from sleep the next morning by a rough hand in his hair pulling him up and away from his pallet in the commons area and against a larger body. He blinked rapidly, trying to focus, as the sharp blade of a large knife was placed against his neck.

“We have your mutinous leader, people of Lapras. Where is your courage now?” the Korsan holding him bellowed.

“You know, this would have worked better if you had done this when more people were awake and out in the commons,” Rodney commented dryly as a few people poked their heads out of their quarters and stared at the pair in wide-eyed shock, then ducked back inside for a moment before slowly coming out into the commons.

“But think of the shock when they do come out and see you this way. It’ll stop things before anything gets started,” the Korsan rumbled in his ear.

“As much as I would love to avert as much fighting as possible, I don’t think you completely thought things through,” Rodney remarked.

He elbowed his captor hard in the stomach and stomped on his foot as he wrenched the hand holding the knife away from himself and twisted out of his surprised captor’s hold, taking the knife with him and pointing it at the Korsan, taking in the other Korsans standing in the entrance to the borough. After a quick mental calculation, Rodney knew that not all of the Korsans were present.

“Because I’ve never been afraid to start something,” he added, his tone slightly defiant.

“Those are big words, Lapran,” the Korsan told him.

“And I intend to back them up. Now, how are we going to proceed? We can stop things right now before they get started and you and your men can go back to Korsa. Or we can start something and I promise it won’t be pretty.”

“Oh, things have already been started,” the Korsan said.

By then, Rodney could hear the low buzz of the Laprans who were watching them as well as feel the quiet stares of the Atlanteans who had also been stationed in this borough.

“I guess that settles it, then,” he replied with a shrug, before elbowing the Korsan hard in the solar plexus and then hitting him hard in the temple with the butt of his own knife, sending the unconscious Korsan sprawling on the ground.

That action made all hell break loose in the borough. The rest of the Korsans rushed in, sending the startled Laprans scurrying into their quarters for weapons and protection. Chuck and Carson joined Rodney in holding off the Korsans as best they could until the Laprans started filtering back out with staffs and knives and forcing their way into the fray.

“I’ve never been good at hand-to-hand,” Carson complained to Rodney at one point when two Korsans had them back-to-back.

“Which surprises me, considering how large your family is,” Rodney remarked.

“We wrestled more – it’s completely different.”

“Then wrestle with the Korsans,” Rodney told him. “Maybe we can use that to our advantage.”

Rodney mentally chuckled as he silently counted off the seconds it took Carson to consider and agree before he felt Carson’s presence leave his back and he heard a dull thud behind him. He grinned at the sound – which confused the Korsan in front of him and Rodney used the distraction to his advantage and hit him hard in the head with the end of his staff.

Free, Rodney methodically went to all the quarters and roused those adults still inside. He felt a surge of pride at seeing the Laprans fighting back so well with a mix of staffs and knives, the red where the Korsans had been injured a satisfying sight. The Laprans had suffered a few hits as well, but they looked to be better off.

At lunchtime, the Korsans withdrew to the passage to tend to their injuries and eat something. With some coaxing, Rodney had the Laprans do the same thing – knowing that most of them hadn’t even had a chance to eat breakfast, either. He didn’t need any of them passing out – or worse – from low blood sugar. As they ate a simple meal, he moved among them and tended to injuries, thankful that none of them were serious.

The Laprans talked quietly among themselves, looking shell-shocked at their first taste of blood, and Rodney felt saddened that they needed to go through this in order to be free of the Korsans. But he could tell that this was strengthening their resolve to avert this sort of thing in the future.

Before the fighting could resume, Michael came bursting into the borough, wide-eyed and out of breath. “Rodney-san! We have some injured that need your help.”

Rodney nodded and said to Carson and Chuck, “Keep the Laprans fighting. It’s going to be hard, but I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

Carson and Chuck nodded and he followed Michael out of the borough. He was surprised the Korsans let them pass, seeing as how the Laprans didn’t have any physical designation for their healers, but they barely gave them a second glance, though Rodney could have sworn that one of them deliberately tried to trip him. He glared back at them as he and Michael continued, but otherwise didn’t respond.

They were quiet as they headed to Michael’s borough. Rodney didn’t quite know what to say to the young man to make him feel better about what he was being called to do. Hell, *Rodney* didn’t like what he was being called to do, let alone what he was dragging all these innocent people into doing.

Rodney immediately set to work when he entered – caring for the injured Laprans and making sure that all of them were eating. They all looked as shell-shocked as the Laprans he had left behind and Rodney’s guilt increased.

“I don’t think we can do this, Rodney-san,” Michael’s mother told him when he stopped by to check on the family.

“Do what?” he asked as he bandaged a small cut on her hand.

“Fight. What will it solve? The Korsans will just fight back harder and we’ll be forced to bow to more pressure from them once they win.”

“That’s a possibility,” Rodney replied, keeping his tone neutral as he sat back on his heels. “But don’t you want to know what it’s like to not have to worry that they’ll take Michael-chan from you? Wouldn’t it be great if you knew you’d be able to enjoy your old-age, surrounded by your entire family?”

“That would be wonderful,” she replied with a small smile. “But I still don’t think that this is the way to go about doing it.”

“Then what would you suggest we do?” he asked her. “You do realize that we have to stop this once and for all because now we can’t go back to just letting them take things from us.”

“I don’t know,” she told him with a helpless shrug. “But I’m not the only one who feels this way – there are other individuals who feel the same.”

“How many of you are there?”

“I’d rather not say,” she told him, with a quick glance towards the passageway and the waiting Korsans.

Rodney got the message – she didn’t want to make anyone an easy target. “Your point has been duly noted,” he told her. “Unless you have a better idea, this is the way we need to continue with for now. But I’m always open to new ideas and suggestions.”

She nodded. “Thank you, Rodney-san.”

Rodney finished making his rounds and met up with Evan and his team. “How are you guys doing?” he asked them.

“Not too bad,” Evan replied with a small smile. “The Laprans are doing well, even if we still can’t understand each other. How are you guys doing?”

“Fine,” Rodney replied with a shrug. “It’s tough with not having had enough time or resources to train the Laprans. And don’t get me started on the fact that there’s a group that wants an eye for an eye and there’s another group that doesn’t want us to be fighting at all.”

Evan and the rest of his team chuckled. “You’re going to get that wherever you go when there’s a conflict, Rodney,” Evan told him before tugging him down next to him. “Have you eaten?”

“Yes. Maybe?” He looked at Evan questioningly, not actually sure if he had or not. Either way, he felt fine. “I don’t know.”

Evan rolled his eyes. “So that would be a no.” He dug around in his pack and produced an MRE and handed it over to Rodney. “Here. I think it’s beef stew.”

“Thanks,” Rodney replied gratefully as he tucked into the meal.

The Korsans decided the lunch break was over before Rodney was done eating and he scrambled to finish as the fighting resumed. He tried to break away to get back to the borough he was helping, but each time he got away from his attacker, either another took his place or he needed to help someone else. As it neared dinner, he resigned himself to the fact that he was stuck where he was for the time being and hoped that Carson, Chuck, and the others were faring all right without him.

That evening, Rodney bedded down next to Evan. He hated not knowing what had happened that afternoon with Chuck.

“Don’t get too comfortable,” Evan teasingly whispered to him.

“What do you mean?” Rodney asked quietly.

“As much as I would love to have you with me tonight, you are going back to your borough as soon as the Korsans are asleep, aren’t you?”

Rodney made a face. “Yeah, I should, shouldn’t I?” He glanced at the Korsans, who appeared to have mostly bedded down for the night, and got up.

“Say goodnight to Chuck for me?”

Rodney grinned. “I will. I’ll do my best to come over tomorrow to see how things are going.”

Evan nodded. “I’ll see you as soon as you can.”

Rodney headed out, carefully picking his way through the haphazardly sleeping Korsans before jogging back to the borough he was helping to defend. Things were quiet when he returned, the Korsans having already bedded down in the passageway, the Laprans having retreated to their quarters or their bedding in the common area for the night.

But Carson and Chuck were still up, quietly playing cards. They both looked up when he entered.

“You look exhausted,” Chuck said as Rodney dropped down next to him.

“Maybe a little,” Rodney replied. “Why aren’t you two asleep?”

“Too wired,” Carson replied. “And worried.”

Rodney smiled slightly. “Well, Evan and his team are doing just fine. And knowing John and the rest, they’re fine too, I’m sure.”

Carson nodded as he gathered up the cards. “I think I’m going to turn in for the night. Good night, both of you.”

Chuck and Rodney both murmured their goodnights. “I was worried this afternoon,” Chuck finally admitted quietly. “Even though I know both you and Evan can handle yourselves in a fight.” He played with a crease on his pants. “And I don’t want to feel this way, but I know it’s going to happen every time either of you go off-world. It’s already been happening with Evan.”

Rodney took Chuck’s hand in his. “That’s just a risk we’re going to have to take. Staying in Atlantis wouldn’t necessarily make things any safer. Hell, being on Earth wouldn’t necessarily make things any safer.”

“Rationally, I know. But I still worry.”

“If it helps any, sometimes I worry about you being in the Control Room. The Gate’s right there and if something came through before the shield went up, or got through the shield –”

Chuck squeezed Rodney’s hand. “Let’s stop this before we freak ourselves out too much.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Rodney replied and let go of Chuck’s hand. “We should get some sleep.”

The next day found Rodney not only fighting the Korsans but moving between the boroughs to help tend injuries and boost morale. He was proud of the way the Laprans were fighting and using everything they had to keep the Korsans at bay.

But he knew that the Korsans had recovered from their shock that the Laprans were actually willing to fight back and he knew that from here on out, the Laprans would have a tougher time against the more experienced Korsans. He would have to talk to John and Evan about strategy to see what they could do to get the Korsans out once and for all.

“Hey,” John said, grabbing Rodney’s arm and both pulling him out of the fray and swinging him around so they faced each other. “When was the last time you ate?”

Rodney shrugged as he mentally calculated. “Last night, I think. Maybe this morning.” He waved a hand dismissively.

John pulled a Power Bar out of his vest and pushed it into Rodney’s hand. “Eat. You’re starting to look a little gray. I’d rather not die because either Chuck or Lorne came after me because I didn’t take care of you.”

Rodney quickly swallowed a bite. “If you haven’t noticed, there’s a fight going on between two peoples – I doubt me not eating would be the last of Chuck and Evan’s worries.” But he knew John was right – sort of. But in reality, they’d kill Rodney for not looking out for himself, both because of what he meant to them, and because of how much rested on his shoulders right now.

Rodney defiantly stuffed more of the Power Bar in his mouth as John simply glared at him. “We need to talk,” he said when he finished. “I don’t want this fracas going on indefinitely.”

“I don’t think any of us does, Rodney,” John replied. “But I agree – we should start talking strategy.”

“And we have a bit of a problem – some of the Laprans want to be pacifists.”

John’s expression soured. “Yeah, I noticed. Let’s deal with that when we work on our plan. Let Lorne and Teyla and whoever else you think should be in on it know and we’ll work on it after the fighting stops for the day.”

Rodney nodded. “Will do.”

John looked at Rodney, his expression unreadable. “And do me a favor?”

“Yeah?” Rodney asked, curious.

“Look after Carson for me?”

Rodney gave him a lopsided grin. “I always do.”

At dinner that night, Rodney looked around and quietly asked, “Is it just me, or were there fewer Korsans at the end of the day than when we started?”

“I think you’re right,” Carson replied. “I noticed that after lunch one or two were gone and now I think another two are gone as well.”

“I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth,” Chuck told them. “Hopefully they’ll stay away.”

“Knock on wood,” Rodney said, tapping his bowl before quickly finishing and standing up. “Okay, I’ve got to go.”

“What do you want us to do while you’re gone?” Chuck asked as he took Rodney’s bowl.

Rodney shrugged. “Whatever you want. I don’t think too many of us should move around, though, or the Korsans will get suspicious and I’d rather not add any more fuel to the fire. I’ll be back as soon as I can, and we can go from there.” He grinned. “Don’t get your hopes up too high, but maybe I’ll see about bringing some guests?”

Carson and Chuck both grinned. “We’ll be waiting with bated breath,” Carson told him.

Rodney laughed as he headed out. He got suspicious glares from the Korsans, but paid them no attention as he passed. When he arrived in his borough, John, Teyla, Ronon, Evan, Kelly, Kirby, and the rest of the Lapran elders were already settled in and waiting for him.

“Okay, let’s get started, shall we?” he asked, both in English and then in Lapran, and both groups nodded. He continued alternating between English and Lapran as he spoke, “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I think everything is going fantastically well, all things considered.” There were more nods of agreement and murmurs of assent from the Laprans.

“Now,” he continued, “we have a couple things we need to deal with. First off, if we’re not careful, this could go on indefinitely, and we can’t let that happen. Secondly, I don’t know if this has happened in every borough, but some of the Korsans from ours went missing today,” there was more agreement, “which, again, is why we need to figure out how we can end this quickly and decisively. We don’t know if the missing Korsans have left for good or if they’re simply going back to the Gate in order to get supplies and reinforcements. And, thirdly, we have some Laprans whose behavior worries me. We have some that want equal justice – we do to the Korsans what they’ve been doing to us for generations. And there are others who want us to continue what we’ve done for generations and let the Korsans do what they will with us. Obviously neither option is optimal, so we need to figure out how to make sure we keep an eye on the first group while bringing the second group up to speed with the rest of us.”

There was a moment of thoughtful silence, before Kelly said, “Well, we’re just going to have to wait and see about the Korsans, I think. I doubt they’ll tell us what they’re doing. It doesn’t seem wise for your enemy to know your plans.”

Rodney translated and the Atlanteans nodded in agreement.

“Why would they leave, though?” John asked. “They’re not gaining anything by leaving at this point.”

Rodney shrugged. “Conservation of manpower, maybe?” he asked before translating what John had said into Lapran. “They only have so many people they can spare and only for so long. Their population is much like the Laprans’.”

“We have to make sure that everyone knows we can’t become too zealous in our desire to rid ourselves of the Korsans,” Kirby commented. Looking at each of the other Laprans, Rodney included, in turn, he said, “We’ll have to make sure that everyone understands that the gods would want us to expel the Korsans because their ways are not our ways, but not to stoop to their level in doing so. We also need to make sure that the Laprans who wish to do nothing in response to the Korsans understand that that can no longer be our course of action with them.” He looked at Rodney, who was translating for the Atlanteans’ benefit, as he said, “It has become obvious that we are at a point where we need to take action against them in order to find what it is the gods want of us, because waiting for the Korsans to take their fill of us and release us on their own has long come and gone.”

John asked, “How can we plan to drive the rest of the Korsans out and make sure they stay away once and for all?”

Rodney translated John’s question and everyone looked at each other questioningly. It was as Rodney had suspected – not only did he have no answers, neither did anyone else.

“Has anyone ever tried going to Korsa and speaking with the Korsan leaders?” Teyla asked and Rodney inwardly sighed in relief – leave it up to her to ask the obvious question – as he translated.

The Lapran elders looked at Teyla as if she had grown another head.

“I think that would be a ‘no’, Teyla,” John commented sarcastically and the Atlanteans laughed, to the Laprans’ confusion, and Rodney shook his head with a smile.

They discussed the situation at hand for a while longer, the effort made harder by Rodney having to translate for both sides. In the end, no real headway had been made and they were still at a loss for how to stop things once and for all. They agreed to reconvene after the sandstorm in two days to see what developments had happened by then and move forward from there.

Evan and John stayed behind with Rodney as everyone else returned to the boroughs they had been assigned.

“How’s Carson holding up?” John asked Rodney, concern tingeing his voice.

“He’s holding up pretty well,” Rodney replied, “considering that I think he’s frustrated that he can’t help people here medically and that he’s not meant to be a fighter. He misses you.”

John processed that for a moment before saying, “Tell him I miss him too, okay?”

Rodney nodded. “I will.”

John took his leave from the two men and headed out and Evan and Rodney stared at each other for a moment.

“When we get back, barring a Wraith attack, we’re not leaving Chuck’s quarters for a week,” Evan told him frankly.

“I’ll agree to that,” Rodney replied with a laugh. “I’ve missed the two of you way too much – and I still see Chuck regularly.”

Evan smiled before turning serious and changing the subject. “Your bond friend, Kelly? I think he’s trying to figure me out.”

“What do you mean?” Rodney asked.

“He keeps staring at me as if I’m some sort of logic puzzle he’s trying to figure out in his head.”

Rodney chuckled. “He admitted as much to me the other day. Threesomes – both in a sexual sense and in a bond friendship are nonexistent among the Laprans. So, the fact that you, Chuck, and I are so close has him stumped as to who is what to whom because they can’t grasp that we can all be the same thing at the same time to each other.”

“Ah,” Evan replied in understanding. “So, do you think his head is going to spin around like in The Exorcist when you explain it to him?”

Rodney laughed. “Maybe? But I think it’s going to take a while to get it through his head. I have to introduce you and Chuck to him after we finish this thing with the Korsans. Then we’ll take it from there.”

“We better get going before we’re missed,” Evan said regretfully. “Tell Chuck I love him.”

Rodney nodded quietly. “I will and I’ll see you tomorrow as I’m making my rounds.” Quieter, he said, “I love you, Evan.”

“Love you too, Rodney,” Evan replied softly. He placed a chaste kiss on Rodney’s lips before heading out. Rodney watched him go for a moment before heading out himself.

As Rodney suspected, the Korsans kept slipping away throughout the next two days. The drop in numbers wasn’t discernable during the day because the Laprans still had their hands full, but Rodney definitely noticed it when both groups took a break from the fighting and he was moving between the boroughs.

The morning the day the sandstorms were supposed to break, the Laprans and Atlanteans woke to find the remaining Korsans were gone. The mood throughout the village was one of suppressed elation – as if the Laprans wanted to celebrate, but were being cautious lest it be premature.

And Rodney couldn’t help but feel happy for them. Regardless of what would happen in three days’ time when the storms stopped again, they had done an incredible thing in fighting off the Korsans and keeping them at bay without actually killing anyone.

Rodney made his rounds and checked on injuries. He also talked with the people who were still shell-shocked from what they had done and did his best to help them come to terms with it. He also did his best to spend some time with the rest of the Atlanteans – who seemed to be enjoying their sudden down time.

“How are you holding up, Rodney?” Carson asked him as Rodney sat down next to him.

“I’m doing okay,” Rodney replied, giving him a small smile. “Little tired, but nothing to worry about.”

“Have you eaten?”

“Yeah, Kelly made me eat something a little bit ago.”

John sat down with them. “Everyone seems to be doing really well,” he commented.

“Yeah, they are,” Rodney agreed. “I think they’re still a bit shocked, though. We’ll see how things go once they’ve had a chance to decompress a little. And we need to figure out what to do if the Korsans come back in a few days.”

“Ronon, Teyla, Lorne, his men, and I could go to the end of the tunnel and if they come back, we could just dispatch them there and then throw the bodies back through the Gate as a warning,” John replied seriously.

“That’s rather macabre,” Carson commented, slightly aghast.

“And as nice as that might be for the rest of us, I doubt it’ll honestly solve anything”, Rodney told him. “The Laprans won’t finish learning how to deal with this and that will probably start an all-out war – there’s no way we’d be able to handle that.” He sighed. “We’re just going to have to wait and see what happens and keep training and practicing in the meantime.”

“They’ve been doing a really good job – the Laprans, I mean,” John told Rodney. “I know it’s hard for a group that’s used to being pacifists to have to learn how to fight, let alone actually do it. But as a group, they’ve been handling it very well.” He smiled. “And it’s been fun seeing how pleased they are when they master something or manage to defeat one of the Korsans.”

“They do take a lot of pride in what they’re able to accomplish,” Rodney agreed. “I wish you both could see what they’re like when things are normal. They’re really an amazing group of people.” He was thoughtful for a moment before asking, “Any suggestions on how we can motivate the diehard pacifists?”

John shrugged. “Not really. Some people have to lose everything before they’ll start fighting. And other people never will – no matter what’s taken from them or what’s done to them. All I can say is keep talking to them and working on them. Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll crack. Otherwise, we’ll just have to do with what we have.”

“And hope the crazy ones don’t get any ideas,” Rodney muttered.

“What was that?” John asked.

Rodney sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m just hoping that the Laprans who want complete vengeance don’t figure out a way to do it.”

“You said you hid their Gate dialers,” Carson told him.

“I did. But that wouldn’t stop them from doing things to the ones that come back.” He sighed. “I guess I’ll have to talk to them too.”

“Can’t someone else talk to them?” Evan asked as he and Chuck sat down on either side of Rodney.

“Probably, but I feel responsible for what they will or won’t do since I’m the one that dragged everyone into this in the first place,” Rodney replied. “Therefore, I should be the one to talk to them and try to explain to them why it’s not a good idea to do it.”

“I think you should have Kelly go with you,” Chuck told him.

“Why?” Rodney asked, perplexed.

Chuck shrugged. “I don’t know – it just seems like a good idea. What he said the other day seemed to carry a lot of weight, so maybe between the two of you you’ll be able to make them listen to you. Plus, that whole bond friend thing might help, wouldn’t it?”

“It might. The whole thing’s a long shot as it is, but it is worth a try. I’ll have to go find Kelly and talk to him and see what he thinks.” Rodney stood. “I’ll be back later.” Rodney greeted Teyla, Ronon and the rest of the Atlanteans as they entered the borough and made their way over to join the rest of their group.

Rodney found Kelly where he expected – spending time with Jillian and Kirby in their quarters. After greeting Jillian and Kirby and chatting with them for a few minutes – in which he convinced Kirby that his kinsmen hadn’t been neglected during their stay – he said to Kelly, “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Sure,” Kelly replied and excused himself and they went out into the common area. “What’s up?”

“I’m a little worried about some of the other Laprans,” Rodney told him as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m afraid that we’re going to have some issues with them when the Korsans come back.”

“Anyone in particular?” Kelly asked, putting his hands on his hips.

“Not anyone specifically, no. But the ones who want vengeance and the ones who want to stay out of it completely are who I’m worried about.”

“So, basically the ones who could get us all killed and the ones who might get killed regardless?” Kelly asked with an amused smile.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Rodney replied. “Any ideas?”

“Well, your tactic of bludgeoning people into submission has worked pretty well in the past with us. Maybe it’ll work again if you put the wrath of the gods into them?”

“I’ve already told the vengeance group that if they didn’t behave, I’d make sure they were exiled and so far they’ve behaved. I don’t want to unnecessarily scare them; I only want to make sure that they don’t do something stupid.”

“Maybe you should just give them a friendly reminder, then?” Rodney nodded in agreement and Kelly continued, “And as for the other group, maybe the fear of the gods will work. I have a feeling that, right now, they’re being unintentionally exiled a bit as it is, since everyone else is so wrapped up in fighting off the Korsans.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Rodney agreed. “Want to come with me? It might help if you do – they’ll see that my bond friend agrees with me.”

Kelly shrugged. “Sure. When were you planning on going?”

“As soon as we can possibly get the groups together. I’d rather not wait, considering who knows what’s going to happen in the next few days. Let’s do the crazy vengeful group first. Maybe that’ll help me get riled up enough for the other group. Worse comes to worse, we could sic the two groups on each other.”

Kelly laughed and shook his head. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to completely figure you out, Rodney-chan.”

“That’s just part of my charm,” Rodney told him with a smile of his own before they poked their heads into Rodney’s quarters and officially took their leave of Kirby and Jillian.

It took them a little while to gather everyone involved, but soon Rodney and Kelly had them all, in total about twenty people, gathered and settled in the presently unoccupied borough.

When they were all looking at Rodney and Kelly expectantly, Rodney started. “I want to thank you all for how well you’ve done over the past few days. I know it’s been hard work – both in fighting off the Korsans and in just keeping them at bay and not exacting the justice you feel you deserve. But now comes the hard part. When they come back in a few days – and we all know they will – I need you to keep doing the same thing. It will ultimately hurt us more if we start killing them. They have a superior fighting force that, so far, has been surprisingly merciful to us. And a group that’s skilled in fighting knows not only how to fight in physical combat, but also how to use the environment against whatever group they’re fighting. Think about our environment for a moment. There’s a lot of sand out there,” he pointed to the side of the tent, “and this world is prone to sandstorms. Do we really want to risk that when we have to rely on portable Gate dialers – which can easily be taken from us – to get off this world?”

Rodney stopped to give them all a chance to think about that and digest it.

“And you said you were horrible as a diplomat,” Kelly quietly commented as the other Laprans began murmuring among themselves.

“I usually am,” Rodney replied. “I tend to verbally bludgeon people and insult their intelligence way too much, which makes them pissed at me instead of resolving anything and then I get angrier and it just spirals down from there.”

Charlie stood and said, “We are willing to accept your words and abide by your actions, Rodney-san. We admit that it will be hard for us to do so, but we realize that you have more experience in this area than we do.”

“It’s not necessarily that I have more experience,” Rodney replied as Charlie sat back down. “Well, not completely. It’s simple logic, really. If you have a recalcitrant child who enjoys yelling and making a scene, you’re not going to yell and make a scene in order to teach the child a lesson – it will only teach the child that what he’s doing is okay and it’ll make it harder for you to teach him later on. We’ve already done something amazing this time with the Laprans. Not only did they get away with nothing, but they didn’t kill or seriously injure anyone. I believe that one day we will see this as a turning point in our history. If you truly can abide by my words, you’re free to go. If you can’t, we need to discuss this further because I don’t want any blood on anyone’s hands. Think about it before you make a decision.”

The men and women were quiet for a while before they started quietly exiting until only Kelly and Rodney were left.

“Well, that went well,” Kelly finally commented.

“Yeah, I think so too,” Rodney agreed. “Okay, let’s go do this all over again for the other group.”

With a little bit of work, Rodney and Kelly rounded up the staunch pacifists and took them to the empty borough. He didn’t say so out loud, but Rodney figured the reason why it took so long was that no one wanted to actually admit that they didn’t want to fight after what everyone had been through over the past few days.

“Okay,” Rodney told them. “Look, I know that none of you like what’s been going on lately. And normally, I’d agree – fighting isn’t going to solve anything. But in this instance, neither is doing nothing. Look at what doing nothing has gotten our people for generations – heartache and loss. We need to be taking a hard look at what we’ve been doing and see how we can change that and fix it. Yes, I realize that we’re supposed to follow the example of harmony that was shown to us by the gods, but in many cases, that’s not going to happen on the first try. How many of you have argued with your bond friend or your spouse – or another family member or a friend and then worked things out? How many times was arguing the only way to get something resolved?”

Rodney waited a beat for that to sink in before he continued. “Granted, what we’re going through now is much different than arguing with your child if he can stay up a little later. But I believe the same basic principle is there – we need to step up and ‘argue’ with the Korsans to resolve this issue once and for all. And I think that we can win this argument. I’m not asking you to kill anyone – far from it. I simply want you to defend yourselves and your families when the Korsans come back in three days. I believe that they will soon get the picture and back off and we’ll be able to resolve this in a much more respectable manner. Are we all agreed?”

There were a few nods and Rodney had to admit that they looked a little closer to actually defending themselves if necessary. “Good, now get out of here.”

Rodney and Kelly followed the group out of the borough and split up when they hit the next borough with a promise for dinner together the next evening. Rodney headed back to the borough he had been staying in and found Chuck and Evan playing cards together.

“How’d things go?” Evan asked.

“Okay, I guess. We’ll have to see, though,” Rodney replied as he sat down.

“So, when do you think we’ll be able to get some undivided attention from the great Rodney McKay?” Chuck asked casually.

“I’m sorry, guys,” Rodney told them seriously. “I really am. Everything’s been so crazy lately.” He laughed self-deprecatingly. “At least you know that I’m not seeing someone else.”

“Do you want to?” Evan asked quietly.

“Oh hell, no,” Rodney replied. “That’s not what I meant. I just – sorry.” He stopped himself and said, “As soon as I know what happens with the Korsans, we’ll do something. I promise.”

The waiting practically killed Rodney. There were only so many bandages he could change and so long he could put on a brave face and pretend like he knew what was going to happen. He didn’t like not being able to predict the outcome of a scenario.

Exactly three days and eight and a half hours after the Korsans had left, a new, smaller group of four Korsans emerged from the caves to face a group of Laprans who were ready for them. What they weren’t ready for was the first thing the Korsans said.

“We would like to negotiate.”

The Laprans gaped at the Korsans as Rodney replied, “We accept your desire to negotiate. Please let us show you our hospitality while we prepare ourselves.”

“We’re going to *what*?” Henry whispered next to Rodney.

“You heard me,” Rodney told him quietly. “Show them some hospitality. Apparently you’ve never heard the phrase ‘kill them with kindness’.”

Henry grimaced as he and the rest of the Laprans did as they were told. Rodney was only slightly amused that most were the more vengeful Laprans. As he went to tell everyone what had happened, he asked John, Ronon, and Teyla to make sure that both the Korsans, and the Laprans hosting them, behaved.

The Laprans were all shocked when Rodney told them what had happened. And he figured they had every right to be – they had never expected to happen. The elders agreed that they would negotiate – on three conditions. The first being that Kelly would, at that time, take his place among them as the leader of his borough and the second being that Rodney would lead the negotiations. The third didn’t surprise Rodney at all – they wanted some time to prepare.

Kelly easily accepted his position. The Korsans, when Rodney told them of the Laprans’ desire to take some time to prepare themselves, agreed. But only on the condition that Rodney would spearhead the negotiations. Out of frustration and a desire to see the whole thing finished once and for all, he agreed.

“I can’t do this!” Rodney told Kelly later that evening.

“Yes, you can,” Kelly replied. “If you’re able to wrangle all of us into fighting the Korsans, you can run the negotiations.”

“No, I mean, I really can’t do this. I don’t have the knowledge of how these sorts of things work.” His eyes widened and he grinned. “Your prep time will include the next window in the sandstorms. I know exactly what I can do!”

“You’ll miss your own prep time, though,” Kelly replied. “And, out of all of us, I think you’ll need it the most.”

“Oh, believe me. I’ll be prepped.”

True to his word, Rodney prepared along with the rest of the Laprans. He meditated for long periods to clear his mind and to get a grip on himself so that he would be less likely to rip into the Korsans for acting like bratty children and the Laprans for allowing the Korsans to steamroll them for so long.

When the time came, Rodney and John headed to the Gate. Rodney grinned when they reached the end of the tunnel and he heard the wind stop. They had gotten there in perfect time.

He and John quickly went topside and he dialed the Atlantis. After the wormhole stabilized and John sent through his IDC, Elizabeth’s startled, and slightly reproving, voice came through their radios.

“I was beginning to worry, John.”

“Yeah, well, there’s only a tiny window of time the Gate can be used and it’s been kind of busy lately,” John replied. “But we’re all doing just fine – no casualties. Anyway, Rodney’s going to kill me if he doesn’t get to talk, so….”

“Look, Elizabeth,” Rodney started as soon as John trailed off. “I need your help. We have two peoples here who would like to negotiate a peace treaty and they want me to facilitate it.”

“And you’re calling me for this why?” she asked and Rodney could almost see her raised eyebrows and her arms crossed over her chest.

“I know I’m the expert on the peoples involved, but you’re the one who knows how to deal with this sort of thing. The situation is very touchy between them and I don’t want to do or say something that’ll get everyone killed. Besides, if this turns sour, things aren’t going to look good for the Morykons and I don’t want anyone to have to explain to them why we didn’t help when we had the chance.”

There was a lengthy pause and Rodney was certain he could hear her thinking before she sighed. “Okay. I’ll come. But, John, I want you back here. I’m not leaving Dr. Zelenka here alone. What do I need, Rodney?”

“Just yourself and whatever you’ll need for three days and a snack,” Rodney replied. “But make it quick – we don’t have a lot of time here.”

“Okay. As soon as John comes through, we’ll disengage the Gate and then I’ll come through in a few moments.”

“I’ll explain to the rest of the team,” Rodney told John. “And depending on how things go, everyone will probably be back in the next window.”

John nodded. “Good luck, buddy.”

“Thanks,” Rodney replied with a smile as he watched John step through the Gate and a moment later it disengaged.

The wait seemed interminable, even though Rodney knew that it was only about fifteen or twenty minutes before the Gate reactivated and Elizabeth stepped through with her pack on her back.

“Welcome to Lapras,” Rodney said as the Gate disengaged and Elizabeth looked around.

“I think I understand now why sand planets aren’t big among Gate Teams,” she commented as she came down the steps.

“Wait until you get sand everywhere,” Rodney commented dryly. “Then you’ll really understand.” He turned and headed to the hatch. “Come on, we’ve got a long walk ahead of us.”

Elizabeth followed Rodney down the ladder and waited quietly while he secured everything. As they started walking, she said, “If I hadn’t known you, Rodney, I would have thought you were a native.”

“I hope that’s a compliment,” he replied with a small smile.

“Oh, it is,” she told him with a kind smile in return. “This tunnel is fascinating. I honestly didn’t think the Laprans had the technology to build this.”

“They don’t, but they obviously helped in the building process. They’re really an amazing people, Elizabeth. I know you’ll like them once you get to meet them.”

“You said we had a long walk,” Elizabeth told him, getting down to business. “Tell me about the peoples we’ll be dealing with.”

Rodney gave her the Coles Notes version of what was going on, unable to help the pride creeping into his voice over what the Laprans had accomplished. Elizabeth was quiet most of the time, only asking a couple of questions. When Rodney finished they continued the rest of the way in silence, Elizabeth mulling over what he had told her. As they neared the caves, she gave him a few pointers for how to get things started and what sorts of things tended to help when two groups were so at odds, which helped Rodney feel better as he mentally adapted them to fit the situation at hand.

“Just in time,” Ronon told them, when Rodney and Elizabeth entered the village. Elizabeth was still looking around in amazement as Rodney focused on the fact that all of the Atlanteans were gathered in the common area and the Korsans were nowhere to be seen.

“The Laprans are getting antsy,” Teyla added. “We’ve had to sequester the Korsan delegation in order to keep the Laprans from threatening them.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and let out a huff of air. “Figures. Okay, I’ll go talk to the Laprans and then we’ll get the ball rolling. I’m aiming to get this done by the time the next window happens. I hope I’m not underestimating everyone. I’ll be back shortly.” And he stormed out.

Rodney found Charlie and Henry quietly talking in the next borough over and stormed over to them. “What the hell?” he told them both, his voice quietly furiously. “I told all of you to be good.”

“We were, Rodney-san,” Charlie replied, as both men looked at him bewildered. “We made sure that everyone had duties that would keep us occupied until you returned. What happened?”

“Apparently, my kinsmen thought that some Laprans were threatening the Korsan delegation and sequestered them, to make sure things wouldn’t get worse. If I find out anyone did anything, I’ll have everyone’s hide.”

Both men stared after him as Rodney left to gather the elders so they could begin. Whatever calm he had felt had been shattered and he concentrated on focusing the frustration he felt so he could use that instead during the course of the negotiations.

Once the elders had gathered in Rodney’s borough and were settled into a half circle on one side of the fire pit, he ducked into Jean’s quarters and told the Korsans they were ready. They nodded and quietly followed him out, settling on the other side of the fire pit. The Atlanteans unobtrusively positioned themselves around the perimeter of the common area and looked nonchalantly imposing. Rodney was quietly amused that even Darby, Carson, and Chuck were able to pull it off.

“Welcome, everyone,” Rodney started off. “I want to thank the Korsans for being willing to make this effort. I also want to thank the Laprans for being willing to receive it. Do the Korsans have anything to say in opening?”

One of the Korsans, named Ned, stood and said, “We would like to say that we are surprised that the Laprans have decided to change their tactics in regards to us. This has made us realize that, since we do not want to be locked in an unending fight, we must change our tactics in order to get what we want.”

Rodney bit his tongue for a moment to keep himself from saying anything stupid before prompting the Laprans with, “And do the Laprans have anything to say in opening?” He hoped they’d get the message and be civil.

Kirby stood and replied, “We would like to say that we are grateful that the Korsans have decided to stop the senseless fighting and are willing to consider changing their tactics. We hope that we will be able to come to an agreement that will benefit all of us.”

“Before we go any further,” Ned spoke up, “we wish to know something – we were told that the foreign presence helping the Laprans had only one woman on it. But we see that there are two. We require an explanation.”

“Among my people, Dr. Weir is an expert in facilitating negotiations and treaties among peoples and tribes,” Rodney told them. “I asked her to join us so that I might benefit from her experience and thereby be better able to help all of you.”

“But she will not be leading this negotiation, will she?” Ned asked, his expression a mixture of confusion, horror, revulsion, and anger.

“No, she will not. Nor will she be influencing any of my decisions. She is merely here to guide me if necessary and assist me if we have any trouble.” Rodney looked pointedly at both groups. “I will still be in charge of this negotiation, just as both groups have requested.” After a pause, Rodney continued, “Now, I expect all of you to behave in an orderly and friendly fashion. If you can’t, or won’t, one of my kinsmen will be glad to knock some sense into you.”

Both the Laprans and the Korsans looked around warily, knowing that the Atlanteans were able to hold up that threat.

“Let’s begin,” Rodney said, bringing their attention back to him. “To start with, I want to know what really started this whole thing, because I doubt that simple pettiness over getting kicked out of a club would have done it. There are other peoples out there that I’m sure would have helped you out.”

Kirby stood and said, “Our history says that when it was realized that the Korsans would not be a good match as a whole for either us, the Morykons, or the Nagdalis, representatives from the three peoples gathered to discuss this and come to an agreement. The agreement was that we would politely exclude the Korsans from intermarrying with us, but that we would gladly trade with them and help them however else we could to ensure their survival. Their ancestors agreed, though they were saddened that our ancestors were unwilling to help them procreate. Things ran smoothly for quite some time after that, until the day when a visiting Korsan stole a calf from the yak pen. When the theft was discovered and it was brought to their attention, the Korsans denied it. Before it could be stopped, a Lapran went to Korsa and brought it back without permission from either side. When the Korsans found out, they were furious and demanded restitution for it. When our ancestors refused to give it to them, since it had been the Korsans’ fault to begin with, the Korsans decided that they were going to put pressure on our people until they felt they had been properly repaid for the loss of the calf.”

Rodney inwardly rolled his eyes – the reason really was sillier than a group of people getting huffy over not being allowed to swim in the community gene pool.

Kirby sat down and Ned indignantly shot to his feet. “That is not true and you know it!” he practically shouted and Rodney glared at him. He quieted down as he continued, “That calf was freely given to our ancestors by yours. When it was stolen from us, we lost more than just a calf.”

Rodney quickly interjected, “Let me clarify here. You all decided that it would be okay to wreak *generations* worth of harm on not only these people, but also the Morykons and the Nagdalis, because of a *calf*? Exactly how stupid are you? Sure, you may have lost some meat, dairy items, a few more yaks down the road, and at the end some clothing and whatnot. But think about what *they’ve* lost. They’ve lost family members – brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, children, parents. They’ve lost clothing and food items. They’ve lost products they could have traded for things they needed to help them *survive*. And this was considered okay to you? You never decided to question it? Or was it never put to you that way? Or was it only that these peoples had done some great nebulous harm to you and that this was how you would get retribution?”

The Korsans glared at Rodney mutinously, but stayed quiet. The leader finally spoke, “And what about the fact that they wouldn’t intermarry with us? That would be a slow death for our people.”

“And there weren’t other people you could intermarry with?” Rodney shot back. “At the last tenth month festival, I saw more than four tribes there. I’m sure that *at least one* of them would have been willing to let you intermarry with them. Maybe even a few of them. Or did they all kick you out of their gene pools too?”

“Rodney,” Elizabeth interjected.

“What?” he asked, whipping around to face her.

“Play nice. I know that tone of voice you’re using and it usually helps if you don’t browbeat anyone right from the start.”

He furrowed his brow. “Then what do you suggest I do?”

“Well, you could start by seeing if it’s possible to salvage their original deal. If that’s not the case, then you’ll have to start fresh with them.”

Rodney nodded. “Okay.” He turned back to the Laprans and Korsans. “Okay, let’s start that over.” To the Korsans, he asked, “Why did your ancestors focus so much attention on these three tribes? I’m sure that it would have been more productive to cut your losses and make a new deal with one or more of the other tribes. And in that vein – why did they go after the Morykons and Nagdalis the same way they went after the Laprans if they had nothing to do with that particular incident?”

The Korsans looked at each other, confused. “We honestly don’t know why,” Ned told them. “The answer to that has been lost to us.”

Rodney sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I can see we have some work to do,” he said to himself. Under any other circumstances, he would ask the Laprans why they hadn’t gone to anyone else for help, but he already knew the answer to that question. They thought it was just desserts for something they had done wrong.

With a glance back to Elizabeth, even though he knew she couldn’t understand what he was saying, Rodney told the gathered Laprans and Korsans, “I doubt that this is normal procedure in diplomatic meetings, but we’re going to cut to the chase and scrap everything prior to now and draw up a completely new compromise between your two peoples.”

That drew blank stares from both sides, which slowly turned into stunned shock, and Rodney rolled his eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he told them. “I know all of you understood what I just said. We’re going to start over with the negotiations, as if the past few generations had never happened.”

“You want us to forget everything that’s happened to us because of them?” Kelly asked, incredulously.

“Not if it makes you more gullible, no,” Rodney replied shortly, facing the Laprans. “But think of it as a good way of proving yourselves to the gods that you are a good people and living up to the tenets they set out for us. And not only will you no longer have to worry about your families and your possessions, the other tribes will see you as the better people.”

“The way you’re talking, that doesn’t exactly put us in a good light,” Ned said petulantly.

“It shouldn’t!” Rodney said, whipping around to face them. “You’ve preyed on the Laprans, Morykons, and Nagdalis for generations because of a petty feeling of spite. And I have a feeling that because you’ve kept doing it, while you haven’t exactly been kicked out of the group of tribes, you’re not exactly well-liked. Otherwise, I think you would’ve cut your losses at some point along the way and stopped messing around. Redoing the negotiations and putting your peoples back onto the track you were intended for can only increase your standing among the other tribes. And it’ll be a whole lot easier to get what you need this way. I can only see it being a win-win situation for you.” To both groups, he said, “Okay, we’re going to take a short break and I want you all to think about what you want out of this new deal and what stands in your way of getting it. When we come back, we’ll get down to business.”

The groups nodded and started talking quietly amongst themselves. Rodney sighed and sagged down into one of the stools that had been brought out in case it was needed.

“How are you doing?” Chuck asked, handing Rodney a water bottle.

The rest of the Atlanteans came over as Rodney took a long drink before handing it back. “Thirsty and a little tired. I forgot how thirsty bullying people makes me and how much energy it uses.”

“If they’re as volatile as you say, the fact that they haven’t started fighting is a good sign,” Elizabeth told him. She gave him an affectionate smile. “And you’ve hardly even raised your voice. I’m proud of you. So, what’s next?”

“I told them we were going to start making a new deal between their peoples and that their old one is null and void, since it clearly wasn’t working anyway.”

“Rodney….” Elizabeth trailed off, looking exasperated. “You can’t just tell them that their old deal is null and void.”

“Why not?” he asked, his tone begging her to challenge him. “It went out the window the moment the Korsans felt the Laprans did something they shouldn’t have. Okay, granted, they shouldn’t have and the Korsans started it anyway, but that’s not the point. The point is that the original agreement has been dead in the water practically since day one. My actually saying it now isn’t going to end the world. And depending on how things go, it may actually make things better for a lot of people.”

Elizabeth sighed and pursed her lips together for a moment, before saying, “Just be careful. I don’t want you steamrolling anyone because you think you know what’s best for them. I’ve seen some negotiations turn ugly because of one wrong word.”

“Thanks, Elizabeth,” Rodney told her as he stood and stretched his back. “I’ll do my best to be good, even if I honestly think they all need to be smacked around a bit for letting things get to where they are.”

“We should bet on that too,” Evan commented to Chuck and they both laughed.

“Do what?” Rodney asked him, curious.

Chuck, Evan, and his team looked sheepish as Evan said, “We’ve all placed bets on who you would make cry first.”

Rodney rolled his eyes before laughing. “I want a cut from whatever winnings there are. Also,” he looked a little sheepish, “I did kind of mention that I wasn’t afraid to use you guys to keep everyone in line and stop them from hurting each other.”

“We’ll do what we need to do, Rodney,” Evan told him, seriously. “Just let us know what, when, and to whom.”

Elizabeth looked at them all, appalled, but before she could say anything, Rodney said to her, “Give them a break, Elizabeth. I know it’s boring watching us to make sure we don’t do anything stupid and not being able to understand us. You have all of your diplomatic know-how to keep you occupied as you try to follow along, but everyone else needs to have something to do.” Rodney looked between the two delegations and saw they were starting to get a little restless. “Okay, I think it’s time to get back in there.”

“All right,” Rodney said, clapping his hands together once to get everyone’s attention as he rejoined the two groups. “Let’s get started. Now, remember – we’re going to be nice to each other. There will be no yelling or accusations. If someone’s talking, you will let them finish before you start talking – regardless of whether or not they’re completely wrong, wrong, wrong. If anyone gets out of line, my kinsmen won’t hesitate to smack you back into line.”

“Before we begin, there are a few things that stand in our way of having a trade agreement with these people,” Charlie said.

“Okay,” Rodney replied and prompted, “And what would those things be?”

“Well, their family structure is different than ours.”

“The Strontem tribe has a different family structure than you do and you have no problem doing business with them,” Ned told him.

“It’s true,” Rodney agreed. “You can’t claim it as a problem if it’s something that at least one of the other tribes also does differently.”

“What about the way they treat their women?” Henry asked. “They consider them to be nothing more than things. That’s not normal.”

“Okay, that is an issue we need to deal with,” Rodney replied before any of the Korsans could jump on it. “What do you have to say about it?” he asked them.

Ned looked almost apologetic as he said, “That’s the way it’s always been among our people. We think nothing more of it than you do of the status of your women. While we don’t agree with the way the Laprans treat their women, we don’t see it as an obstacle towards us becoming trading partners.”

“And yet you’ve subjected our women to that!” Charlie yelled and Rodney glared at him.

“We will admit that it was quite a shock at first, and that it took some time for them to become used to the disparity, but the women – and men – we’ve taken have become accustomed to it and have become happy with their place in our world.”

“How can you be sure they’re happy?” Charlie asked vehemently. “They could just be saying that out of fear of what you might do to them if they say otherwise. You did, after all, abduct them from their homes and families against their will.”

Before things could escalate, Rodney stepped in. “Let’s try a different tack, shall we, Charlie?” he asked lightly. “Unless you yelling at them is going to change their minds, which I know it won’t, I’d suggest waiting until we had something materialistic that we could use as leverage to maybe get them to make some concessions in various… areas.” To the Korsans, he said, “It is a valid concern – not only for our people, but also for the Morykons and Nagdalis that the people you’ve taken over the cycles are happy and cared for in their new homes.”

“And all we have to offer right now is our word that they are,” Ned replied. “If we ever get to it, I would gladly invite all of you to come to our world and see that they are.”

“And use it as a trap to get more of us,” Henry replied bitterly.

“And leave us open to the devastation that would be caused by you freeing those we’ve taken and taking them and their children with you,” Ned replied.

“Enough!” Rodney commanded. “This is obviously something that needs to be discussed, because not if you’re going to quickly devolve into petty comments. So, issue number one is the fact that the Laprans and the Korsans treat their women differently and distrust each other because of it. The issue has been duly noted, but think about it this way – in the long run, if you’re trading vegetables for cloth and glass, does it really matter? If the Korsans really weren’t taking care of their people, regardless of status, news would have gotten around and the other tribes would have done something to punish the Korsan men if the basic needs of their women weren’t being met. And just because the Lapran women are more assertive than the Korsans are used to, they know it doesn’t mean the end of the world. Think about it for a moment before you answer.”

There was a moment of silence, then some murmuring among the groups.

“We’re willing to move forward,” Ned said, nodding.

“We’re willing to try it for the time being,” Kelly replied.

“Good, because we have a lot of work to do. Before we get started hammering out a deal between our two peoples, is there anything else that needs to be addressed, aside from what’s in the past, so we can cleanly move forward?”

“Well, the fact that they take people in order to supplement their population is barbaric,” Charlie said.

“This is a practice that has happened throughout history on many different worlds,” Ned replied. “We do not need to justify it to you. It can’t be that unnatural if even the Wraith do it.”

“The Wraith do it because they eat them!” Rodney snapped at Ned. “Taking people as a food source is not natural!”

“It’s not like we’re Worshippers,” Ned replied with a look of disgust. “I’m merely pointing out that if even they take people, that there must be something natural to it.”

“We refuse to trade with you if you continue to persist in this evil practice,” Kirby told the Korsans. “There are numerous other ways that you can find people to procreate with.”

“Such as your blessed courtship rituals?” Ned replied with a sneer. “Your ways aren’t much better than ours. You still take people from their homes and place them somewhere they don’t want to be.”

“At least with our way, they have the option of refusing,” Kirby replied shortly. “And I didn’t say you could rejoin our group, just that there were other options. I’m sure that if you actually got your act together and started acting like civilized people instead of barbarians, at least one of the other tribes would be willing to intermarry with your people.”

Ned jumped to his feet. “Do you think that flaunting your so-called ‘intelligence’ over us will win you favor and get you a better part of the deal?”

Rodney held out a hand, stilling the Laprans from moving, as he turned to fully face Ned and crossed his arms over his chest. He could practically hear the intake of breath and collective eye-roll from the Atlanteans and resisted the urge to laugh at the fact that even when the conversation was dominated by another language, they all knew when he was about to go off on someone.

“If you actually listened, you backwoods hippie redneck, you’d see why the Laprans are hesitant to join forces with you in any capacity. You represent to them things they don’t have any room for – excess, unnecessary anger, bullying, and an apparently low intelligence. And, yet, they’re doing their best to get past that and reach out to you, not totally for their own gain, but yours as well. I doubt you have the capacity to understand how well you’d benefit from this treaty if you could actually make this negotiation process work. The other tribes – who barely stand you now outside of what you can offer them – will see that the Laprans, whom you’ve steamrolled again and again, are willing to start fresh with you and start over fresh and they might be enticed to do so as well. Think of how good that would be – not having to go to all the work that comes with planning a raid and executing it, then dealing with the aftermath of having to incorporate new – and, I’m assuming, usually unwilling at first – people into families. You might actually be able to get new blood and other goods necessary to your survival without having to pull the whole caveman routine. True, you might have to lose a few people to the other tribes as a way of playing fair, but in the long run it’ll be better for everyone involved.”

Ned sputtered and sat back down, glaring at Rodney. Rodney took a deep breath and turned to the Laprans.

“I love you all, but don’t think I’m letting you off the hook because your actions haven’t helped this scenario either. If you had actually stepped up to the plate in the beginning and held them accountable for their actions, then we wouldn’t be in this much of a mess this far down the line – if at all. I totally understand that you wanted to keep true to the values given to you by the gods, but you’ve seen that the gods have given you some leeway as well. You should have used it a long time ago.”

Rodney took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Now that we’ve established that neither of your tribes is perfect and that there are some things that will need a lot of time and work to fix, can we get on with hammering out a beginning treaty between our peoples?”

Ned huffed. “I will admit that I don’t like some of the things you’ve said about us, but at least you tell the truth. And you don’t beat around the bush, like some negotiators might. I accept for my people.”

“We accept as well,” Kirby said. “We are more than willing to put the past behind us and start fresh with the Korsans, especially seeing as how it would give us a chance to practice what we preach.”

Rodney nodded and grabbed a pad of paper and a pen out of Elizabeth’s pack and a stool so he could make sure he had everything straight as the two delegations negotiated.

As he sat down, Ned looked at him warily and asked, “What do you have there?”

“This is called a pad of paper and this is a pen,” Rodney replied, holding up each of the items. “They allow me to write down things that are said so that I don’t forget them. That way we’ll be able to make sure we know exactly what we’re agreeing to at the end. Don’t tell me you’re superstitious of writing implements.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Ned replied. “I’ve never seen such things. Please, continue.”

Rodney carefully and firmly led the two delegations through their negotiations. They covered everything from goods and services to how the two tribes would act towards and around each other. The Korsans would no longer be allowed to raid the Laprans, Morykons, and Nagdalis – or anyone else for that matter – or there would be harsh penalties for it. They would be cut off from the tribe they had offended, and anyone else who felt they deserved it, and the penalties would escalate from there on a case by case basis. Rodney made a note to make sure that the other tribes were aware of this and knew they wouldn’t have an issue accepting that pronouncement and helping to enforce it. The Korsans didn’t seem to like that part of the deal, but knew they had to comply with it in order to get the other things they wanted. The Korsans would also have no contact with either the Morykons or Nagdalis until the next festival – to give them and the Laprans time to adjust to their agreement first, and iron out most of the more general details.

When Rodney saw that everyone was getting antsy and tired, he called a break for a meal and everyone seemed to sigh in relief. The Korsans and the Laprans clumped together in their own groups as they prepared their meals, the Korsans having brought food that didn’t require cooking.

“You seem to be doing quite well, Rodney,” Elizabeth told him when he approached the gathered Atlanteans. “How do you feel it’s going?”

“I think we’re getting there,” he replied honestly. “It’s going to take a lot of work on both sides to deal with the generations’ worth of animosity that’s been built up, a lot of it on misunderstandings. So it’s going to take a lot of time for them to get past that and to somewhere neutral, let alone into liking each other.”

“Every journey has to start somewhere,” Carson said with a small smile. “How are you feeling? Do you need something to eat?”

“Yeah, food would be a good idea,” Rodney replied distractedly, suddenly drained and tired. He really wanted to spend some time alone with Chuck and Evan, so they could ground him, but he knew that wasn’t going to be happening any time soon.

Rodney was amused, however, at how Chuck and Evan naturally flanked him after they had gotten food from Kelly, who made sure that all the Atlanteans had food, and sat down to eat. He was thankful for the buffer they afforded him. The group ate quietly, conversation topics in short supply, considering how long they had been away from Atlantis and normal surroundings. Elizabeth did pass along a few bits of news, but for the most part they just affirmed the idea of “same shit, different day” that had become routine on Atlantis.

After they had finished and cleaned up, Rodney pulled the two delegations back together to finish up the negotiations and work out the nitty-gritty details of their new trade agreement. By the end of it, he had a much deeper appreciation for both Teyla and Elizabeth and what they did on a regular basis for Atlantis. If he heard one more petty argument about what was equal to what, he wouldn’t be responsible for his actions. They then agreed on a trial period of three months to see how things went and then they would reconvene to make any necessary changes and go forward from there.

As they wrapped up, Rodney let out a sigh. “Okay, I think we’re done. Now, to cement our agreement, I think we should all share dinner.”

Both groups looked at him like he had grown another head and Rodney rolled his eyes. “Oh, grow up and get over it. You’re going to be trading partners, the least you can do is share a meal.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s up to all of you. My kinsmen and I can wait.”

Rodney withdrew to watch as they glared mulishly at each other for a while before Kelly made the first move and engaged one of the Korsans to help him start a fire for the meal.

“What did you just do?” Elizabeth asked him quietly as the rest of the two delegations quietly joined forces to make their meal.

“I told them that as a way to solidify their agreement, they had to share a meal together,” Rodney replied. “I figured it would be a good way for them to start learning to work together.”

The Atlanteans watched as the Laprans and Korsans worked together to make the meal, usually speaking no more than necessary to each other. But, as Rodney had hoped, by the end of the meal, which they all shared, the tension had started to ease between the two delegations and there were tentative smiles among both groups.

After dinner, Rodney worked with the Lapran elders to figure out how to tell the rest of the Laprans of the agreement, as well as to get them back to their own homes.

When he fell onto his cot that night, Rodney was exhausted, yet happier than he had been in a long time.

Rodney breathed a sigh of relief when the wormhole closed behind the Atlanteans and he started dialing the Gate for the Morykons.

Once the negotiations between the Korsans and the Laprans had concluded, the Laprans settled back into their boroughs and routines. The Korsan delegation had spent the rest of the time until the next window opened up getting to know the Laprans in general. Rodney knew that it has been stressful for everyone, but he could tell that, by the end of it, tensions were starting to ease a little.

Once the negotiations were over, Elizabeth decided that even though the Laprans had extended an invitation to all of the Atlanteans to stay for a few days to relax, there was no good reason for her to stay on Lapras, so she went back to Atlantis. The rest of John’s team, and Evan’s team, minus their leader, went back as well, since there was no reason for them to stay either. At least the Laprans had completely understood the necessity of dealing with one’s duties.

Rodney, Chuck, and Evan stayed on Lapras, at the invitation of Kelly, and at Jillian and Kirby’s insistence. Rodney had given Elizabeth the reason that he wanted to make sure that the Laprans were settling back in all right. He was able to keep Chuck and Evan by admitting that the Laprans wanted to honor them, but was intentionally vague on the details. The Laprans actually wanted a chance to meet Rodney’s bond friend and Rodney suspected they wanted to give them a proper ceremony. He wondered what they would think when they found out that both Chuck and Evan were his bond friends, let alone also his lovers. Elizabeth had agreed – but had made the three men swear that they would only stay as long as necessary, considering they all had duties waiting for them on Atlantis.

The Gate whooshed open and Rodney grinned. It had worked. He made a quick visit to the Morykons to tell them what had happened before repeating the process with the Nagdalis. Both tribes were ecstatic over the outcome. When Rodney finally got back to Lapras, it was just in time to escape the sandstorm.

He met Chuck and Evan in the tunnel and the three of them walked companionably back to the village, having a leisurely break at the half-way point that included a few quick kisses.

“Whatever’s going on, Rodney, you’ll be fine,” Evan told him as they entered the caves.

“So you say,” Rodney replied, looking around to see if Kelly was in the yak pen before stopping. “You’re not the one bringing the bond friends home to meet the family.”

“It’s not like we’re some punk kids,” Chuck said with a smile. “We’re good, upstanding citizens that any mother would love for her son to be bond friends with.”

Rodney couldn’t help but laugh at that. “That’s not quite the image I was working with, but thanks for that.”

“Will it be that big of a deal?” Evan asked, turning serious.

“Maybe?” Rodney replied. “I don’t really know. It’s not like this has actually come up before – at least not to my knowledge.”

“We’ll get through it, okay?” Chuck told him, squeezing Rodney’s shoulder and kissing his temple. “Whatever happens, we’ll still love you.”

“I know,” Rodney replied with a nod. “And I love you guys too. It’s just that –” he let out a puff of air, “this is the closest thing I’ve had to an actual family-type situation and I don’t want to screw it up.”

“We know,” Evan told him before glancing at the entrance to the village. “We’d better get back in there because the longer we stay out here, the less responsible I’ll be for my actions. They know how long all of this takes and if we’re gone for too long, they may send out a search party. And I don’t think you want them finding out about us that way, do you?”

Rodney snorted. “Not in the least. But we will find time later, I promise.”

Chuck stopped him and asked, “How much are you going to tell them about us?”

“How much do you want me to tell them?” Rodney asked him.

Chuck shrugged. “I don’t know. But if they’re going to know about the three of us being bond friends, you might as well tell them about us being together too.”

“Okay,” Rodney said. “Is that okay with you, Evan?” he asked, knowing that the military regulations didn’t cover this situation, but he wanted to make sure Evan was comfortable with it regardless.

Evan nodded. “They seem like good people and if you feel comfortable doing it, I’ll support you telling them.”

Rodney nodded. “I’m going to play it by ear and see how things go. So, depending on how they take the three of us being bound, I’ll go from there in telling them exactly how closely we’re bound.”

Chuck smirked. “You’ve been waiting for a while to use that, haven’t you?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Rodney replied loftily as they headed for the village proper. “Just remember –”

“No touching unless absolutely necessary,” Chuck and Evan chorused and Rodney was fairly certain he saw an evil glint in their eyes and knew they would try to take that rule to its limit.

When they entered the borough, Rodney wasn’t surprised to find Kelly, Kirby, and Jillian waiting for him outside his family’s quarters. He carefully scanned the rest of the commons area and saw that most of the rest of the borough’s inhabitants were there, eating lunch and, no doubt, hoping to catch at least some of Rodney’s introduction of Atlantean his bond friend to his Lapran family.

Kirby, Jillian, and Kelly stood as Rodney approached with Chuck on his left and Evan on his right. As they stopped, Rodney was aware of Evan easily going to parade rest, as if he was waiting for a military inspection, and Chuck fidgeting for a second before leaving his hands at his sides.

Rodney paused for a moment, not exactly sure how to present them. He didn’t think anyone outside of Lapras had ever been introduced as a bond friend. He knew that some of the other tribes had a fairly similar equivalent, but it still wasn’t the same. “I would like to introduce my bond friends, Chuck and Evan of Atlantis,” he finally said, pointing to each of them in turn.

Jillian’s eyes widened, Kelly’s expression remained carefully disinterested, and Rodney could hear the level of noise in the common area drop ever so slightly so more people could listen.

“Two, Rodney-kun?” Kirby asked, brow furrowing. “Isn’t that a bit… excessive?”

“Well, we always did know that Rodney-chan was a handful,” Kelly replied calmly. “Maybe it takes two Atlanteans to do the job.” He raised an eyebrow in question.

Rodney bit his lip and let out a slow breath through his nose before replying. “I don’t appreciate that comment, Kelly,” he told him as evenly as he could manage. “The fact that I have two bond friends has nothing to do with how well I need to be ‘handled’. I honestly thought more of you and that you knew me better than that.”

Kelly bowed his head in acquiescence as Rodney decided to lay everything out and in the open all at once and continued, “And not only are they my bond friends, but they’re also my partners.”

At that, everything stopped for a second. “I think we need to talk about this in our quarters,” Kirby said and entered his quarters, Jillian and Kelly following.

“Well, that went over well,” Chuck commented quietly. “What’s going on?”

“We’re going inside to talk,” Rodney replied. “Come on.”

After the curtain closed behind Rodney, Kirby angrily asked, “What in the name of the gods are you doing, Rondey-kun? Are you trying to throw everything you’ve learned here in our faces?”

“You know I’d never do that,” Rodney replied softly. “It’s just that this just sort of happened. On Atlantis, things are different – there isn’t the need for such physical rigidity and stringent family planning. Also, I was trying to uphold what you had taught me. The only way I could be fair to both of them, and have them be fair to each other, was to make us all bond friends. After that,” Rodney sighed and shrugged helplessly, “things went differently than any of us had expected. And I did try to not have these feelings, but that wasn’t to be.”

After a moment’s silence, Jillian asked, “Are you happy, Rodney-kun?”

“I am,” he told her.

“And are your bond friends happy?”

“They are,” he replied with a nod.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us to them?”

Rodney let out a soft chuckle. Jillian was forever going to be the practical one. “Jillian wants me to make sure I formally introduce them to you guys,” Rodney told Chuck and Evan. “This is Kirby, my Lapran ‘father’ of sorts and mentor; Jillian, his daughter; and Kelly, my Lapran bond friend.” Rodney pointed them out in turn.

Chuck and Evan both bowed slightly, having watched Rodney greet people before.

Jillian grinned and came forward to cup their faces with both of their hands. “It’s good to finally meet you both,” she told them with a smile. “I’m happy for you and for them, Rodney-kun, that you have all found happiness.”

“Thank you, Jillian,” he replied, comforted by her words. “She’s happy for us,” he told Chuck and Evan and they smiled at her in return.

“People aren’t going to be happy about this,” Kirby told Rodney tightly.

“If they don’t like it, they can suck lemons,” Rodney told him. “None of us entered this decision lightly and the gods know our intentions are pure. And there’s no way we’re going to give each other up.”

“You always did want to do things your own way,” Kelly commented, a small smile forcing its way through his solemn demeanor. “It’s going to be hard, though, when everyone else finds out.”

“I know. But I honestly can’t change what I feel for them and I don’t want to.”

“We’d better get back out into the common area,” Kelly decided pragmatically. “Everyone was curious before and I’m sure that coming in here only added fuel to the fire.” He looked at Kirby when he said that.

Kirby nodded ruefully. “You’re right. It would be unwise to remain in here much longer. I honestly am not sure how to approach this, Rodney-kun. I still consider you my son and heir, but this goes against so many things I believe.”

“But doesn’t it also fulfill the picture you’ve been taught about the gods?” Rodney asked. “They worked together as a perfectly cohesive unit – self, bond friend, and mate. Each of those things was represented equally in each person and each person was all three things equally to the others.”

Kirby nodded. “You’ve given me something to think about. I believe I’m going to meditate on it for a while.”

Kelly, Jillian, and Rodney nodded before heading out, Chuck and Evan quietly following behind. Once outside, Jillian set about getting lunch together for Rodney, Chuck, and Evan. Kelly took his leave and went to talk to some of the other Laprans who were still out.

As they waited for their food, Evan asked, “So, how did that go?”

“Okay, I think,” Rodney replied with a half-shrug. “They’re not going to exile me or anything – which is good.”

“Why would they exile you?” Chuck asked.

“What the three of us have isn’t normal and is practically considered one of the deadly sins. It’s understandable to an extent, considering the constraints placed on the tribe because of their population size. They don’t have the time or wiggle room for people to have a relationship like the three of us do – or even like two of us do.”

“‘Wiggle room’?” Evan asked with a hint of a smile. “Is that a scientific term?”

“Very scientific,” Rodney replied seriously with a returned smile.

“So, what exactly is going on now?”

“Well, we’re going to eat and then the other Laprans in the borough will come over to meet you two officially. I’m sure that many of them will react a lot like Kirby – they’re not going to be happy about it. Kirby, I know, will come around, even if it takes him a little while – he just needs to work through it. And I’m not going to pretend it won’t hurt if the others don’t accept the two of you, but I’m going to do my best to not dwell on it. I know how lucky I am to have one of you, let alone both of you and anyone who can’t understand that Atlantean ways aren’t exactly Lapran ways can go suck it. I’m sure most of them will ultimately understand too, in the long run, because they understand how lucky it is to find someone.”

Both Chuck and Evan nodded. “Just don’t shut us out,” Evan told him. “The three of us are in this for the long haul and we want to help you through this if you need it.”

“I wish we could speak Lapran,” Chuck told him. “That way we could show them that we’re taking this seriously, and also, when we get fluent enough, we’d be able to help you defend yourself and your decision.”

“Think about it and if you really are serious about it, let me know later,” Rodney replied as Jillian started dishing out their food. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask if you wanted me to teach you before. I’m sure it would have made it easier to understand me sometimes.”

“We got through it,” Evan replied with a smile as he accepted the plate of food from Jillian and thanked her. She looked at Rodney, who translated, and she smiled at Evan.

As Rodney had predicted, once they had finished eating, other Laprans began coming over before heading back to their trades. Rodney introduced Chuck and Evan over and over again and continually received the same response when he explained their relationship. Most of the Laprans gave Chuck and Evan dark looks and told Rodney that he had a lot to work through, if he was going to get back on the gods’ good side. Jaelyn’s family, on the other hand, completely accepted Evan and Chuck and touched them both on the cheek with one hand.

“We’ll do what we can to help you and your bond friends at least be recognized among the rest of the tribe,” Jessica told him.

“Thank you,” Rodney replied. “That means a lot to me.”

“After the way you cared for Jaelyn, it’s the least we can do to repay you,” Keith told him.

Kelly came over and sat down with them as the others left. “Did you want to get some staff practice in?” he asked.

“Yes, but not right now,” Rodney replied, suddenly yawning. “It’s been a long day with the window coming in the middle of the night. Let me take a nap for a couple of hours and we can do it after dinner.”

Kelly nodded. “And have Chuck and Evan come too, if they want.”

Rodney nodded. “I’ll pass it along. You’d better get back to work.”

Kelly rolled his eyes and made a face, but then left with a smile. Rodney watched him go, glad that things were okay between them for the moment, but he was sure he’d hear about it during practice.

“Let’s go get some sleep,” he told Chuck and Evan, seeing that they were starting to droop too, as he stood.

They followed him into his quarters and the three of them were quiet so they didn’t disturb Kirby’s meditation as Rodney set up some blankets and pillows for Chuck and Evan by his cot. Chuck and Evan were careful to make sure that they weren’t actually sleeping together.

When Rodney gave them a weird look, Evan said, “Cardinal rule – don’t piss off the natives. We’ve given them enough to work their minds around. We don’t need them to see Chuck and I sleeping together, especially when you’re on your cot. That would raise more questions than we probably want to answer. At least this way, it’ll be easier to say that we’re just trying to respect local customs, since they don’t recognize our relationship. Besides, it’s only fair – if you’re not sleeping with us, we shouldn’t be sleeping with each other.”

“What do you mean, fair? You know two of us sleep together in the literal sense if the third’s off-world. They don’t recognize us yet, anyway,” Rodney told them. “But by the time we leave, I want us to be recognized. Not for me, but for the two of you. It’ll mean a lot more if you’re recognized. For one, you’ll have some place to go if things ever get really bad in Atlantis and you can’t go back to Earth.”

Chuck knocked on the wood of the cot’s frame. “Let’s get some sleep and hopefully by this evening, the dust will have had a chance to settle and we’ll be able to get a more accurate idea of what’s going on.”

The three men bedded down and Rodney knew that by that evening, the rest of the Laprans would know about the three of them and the real status of their relationship. Even though he was physically tired and suddenly emotionally drained from everything that had happened so far that day, it still took Rodney a while for his brain to slow down enough that he could fall asleep. He was worried that too many of the Laprans wouldn’t accept them and would exile them completely from Lapras. He knew that there was a slim chance that would happen, given the amount of times someone had been exiled completely, but he didn’t exactly know how strongly they would feel about his relationship with Chuck and Evan.

When Rodney woke up, Chuck and Evan were already up, their bedding had been put away, and they were eating. Rodney sat up and stretched as Jillian handed him a plate.

“What’s it like out there?” Rodney asked before he started eating.

Jillian shrugged. “I don’t really know. Everyone seems to be pretty quiet about it. I think they’re having a hard time figuring out what to think. Obviously, anything outside of what we’re supposed to do is *really* bad, but they know you and most of them have met and worked with either Chuck or Evan, or both of them, throughout everything with the Korsans. And our kinsmen don’t know what to think, considering that you and they aren’t bad people and that nothing bad has happened because of your relationship.”

Rodney nodded as he ate. “After we eat,” he said to Evan and Chuck, “I want to go out and see what’s going on – both in the sense of how everyone’s holding up after what went down with the Korsans and also how they feel about my revelation.”

“What do you want us to do?” Evan asked after swallowing the last bite of a nut and fruit leaf.

“Come with me. You both have every right to know how my other kinsmen are doing since you helped save their asses and they need to get to know you both, since you’re my lovers and you’re not going anywhere.”

“Damn straight,” Chuck replied under his breath before he ate the last bite of meat on his plate.

Rodney happened to catch Jillian watching them with a faintly amused smile on her lips before she turned back to cleaning up her cooking utensils. “What?” he asked her with a slight chuckle.

“Nothing,” she replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“No, I know that look – it’s something.”

“It’s easy to see that the three of you love each other,” she told him. When he started to sputter, she added, “It’s in the eyes and the voice. Don’t worry about everyone else – they’ll come around.”

“I wish I still had your optimism, but I think I’ve seen too much of human nature.”

“Sometimes I think you think too hard. They’re your people too, Rodney-kun, and they love you. They just want what’s best for you and I’m sure that when they see you with your men, they’ll realize that you are happy and have two good men who love you.”

“I hope you’re right.”

She looked a little smug, but didn’t say anything more as she finished up. “I’m going for a walk with Kelly, if you need me.”

“How are things going with him?” Rodney asked, happy for both of them.

Jillian grinned. “Amazing. And we have you to thank for that. Even Father’s happy about it.”

“Good,” Rodney replied, wanting to know how exactly he was responsible for the two of them, before wincing. “Did he say anything about me?”

“No,” Jillian replied as she shook her head. “I think he’s taking a vow of silence for the time being, but other than that, I have no idea what’s going on.” She stared at Rodney critically for a moment. “You might want to consider that for the rest of tonight too, just so people can see that you’re not running amuck with our traditions.”

“I’ll do it tomorrow. They’ll want answers and it’ll be better if I answer them tonight.”

“It’s up to you,” she told him as she stood. “We’ll see you out there. And if you need any support, you know where to find us.”

“Everything okay?” Chuck asked.

“Yeah, fine,” Rodney replied. “Just trying to get a few things straight for what we might be up against, but I still don’t really know. If I’m quiet tomorrow, don’t worry about it – it’s a normal thing here.”

Evan nodded. “We’ve noticed that from time to time.” He grinned. “And we’re pretty used to it by now, since you’ve been doing it pretty regularly since you got back.”

Rodney took a deep breath and let it out slowly while intently studying his quarters’ curtain. “Okay. Let’s go out there and see what’s going on.”

When they exited, Rodney saw that Kirby was quietly talking with a patient, Kelly and Jillian were walking around the perimeter of the common area, and several families – including Keith and Jessica’s – were out socializing. He had to give them credit for not going completely quiet, but he did notice the noise level receded.

Keith and Jessica were the first to approach them. “Thank you again for what you’ve done for us, Rodney-san,” Jessica told him before touching his cheeks with both of her hands. She then repeated the gesture on Chuck and Evan. “Let us know if you need anything.”

“You’ve made us very proud,” Keith told him, also touching him on the cheeks. “I hope these young men know how special you are.”

Rodney blushed. “They do. At least I’m pretty sure they do. Thank you both.”

They nodded as they moved away to talk to another family. Rodney sat down and Chuck and Evan followed his lead, giving him quizzical looks as he pulled out some dice.

“I thought we were going to be seeing people,” Chuck said.

“We are,” Rodney replied. “We’re using the tactic of letting them come to us – I want this whole thing to be as non-confrontational as possible. Believe me, now that Keith and Jessica have made the first move and we’re acting like nothing out of the ordinary’s going on, they’ll come over – even if just out of curiosity. What game do you guys want to play?”

As they settled into playing a game, other Laprans came over as Rodney had predicted – even Laprans from other boroughs. Some just wanted to thank the three of them for what they did during the ‘Korsan situation’, as it had been dubbed, and Rodney couldn’t tell what their feelings were about the three of them. There were a few who came over to express their disapproval of them – which Rodney had expected. Rodney tried to explain the differences in Lapran and Atlantean culture, but he wasn’t sure if he really got through to most of them. A few of the opposition that he talked with he could tell were definitely thinking about it, trying to reconcile that someone who believed the same as they could behave so differently and still consider the deviant behavior to fit in with what they believed. And, while they were still a minority, there were more than he expected who accepted them completely and were happy for them.

Kelly and Jillian joined Rodney, Chuck, and Evan for their second game of dice. Chuck and Evan looked a bit surprised by this move, but Rodney easily welcomed them into the game.

As they began to play, Kelly said, “We wanted to get to know your bond friends better.”

Rodney’s gaze flicked to Chuck and Evan before replying, “Okay. What did you want to know?”

“All the usual things,” Jillian replied. “Where they come from, who their families are, what they do for a living, what they like to do in their free time, and on and on.”

“Is this a quiz for me or them?” Rodney asked, furrowing his brow and he noticed that Chuck and Evan had paused in passing the dice and were looking between the three of them, confused.

“Let’s go with you first to save some time, then we can ask them things,” Kelly told him.

“All right,” Rodney replied, letting out a slow breath as he thought about everything he knew about Evan and Chuck. “Chuck originally comes from a large family in Toronto, Canada, where he has two brothers and three sisters and they’re all fairly close, but Chuck hasn’t had much contact with them since he moved to Atlantis. He works in the Gate Room, to help monitor the activity going through the Gate.”

“Your Ring is inside your city?” Jillian interrupted in disbelief. “And it’s busy enough that it needs to be watched at all times?”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s that busy,” Rodney told her. “But we have had a few times when unsavory people tried to get in and we figured out a way to keep them out.” Continuing, he added, “In his free time, Chuck likes to read, play hockey, and watch movies.” Rodney knew that the cultural activities would probably be lost on Kelly and Jillian, depending on how much they remembered from when he had explained them to them.

“Evan comes from a smaller family in the United States that he hasn’t talked about a whole lot. I know he’s got a sister and two nephews, but other than that,” Rodney shrugged, “I don’t know. I never seemed to find a right time to ask about the rest of his family and he never volunteered the information, but he seems content on Atlantis, so I don’t know where things are for him and his family. Evan is John’s second in command on Atlantis, which means he’s usually pretty busy, but he still has enough time for us. Evan likes to draw and paint in his free time and he’s really quite talented at it, yet still very modest.”

As Jillian and Kelly took some time to absorb the information Rodney had given them, Chuck asked, “What was that all about?”

Rodney shrugged one shoulder. “They wanted to know more about the two of you, so I told them a little bit. Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything either of you would mind me saying in public. They’ll probably want to ask you questions directly now, though.”

Both Chuck and Evan nodded and Kelly and Jillian took that sign of assent and ran with it. Through Rodney, they asked all sorts of questions – what sorts of things Evan liked to draw, what sorts of movies Chuck liked more, favorite foods, what they liked about living in a city that had a room big enough for a Gate, what other places they had traveled to, and what they thought of Lapras.

Chuck blushed at that question and Evan laughed at him before replying, through Rodney, “I like it here. You all seem very friendly and the fact that you put up with Rodney for so long has to count for something. But I haven’t seen enough of the normal side to really determine what I think.”

Chuck, not surprisingly, agreed with Evan as they finished the game.

“Feel like sparring?” Kelly asked as he stood.

“Definitely,” Rodney replied as he also stood. “Would you two like to come spar with Kelly and me?” he asked Evan and Chuck.

“Is it allowed?” Evan asked.

“I wouldn’t have invited you if it wasn’t,” Rodney replied. “And staffs aren’t an issue – you can both borrow some of the training ones.”

Jillian quietly broke away from the men after inviting Kelly over for dinner. Rodney and Kelly got their staffs and Kelly retrieved two training staffs for Chuck and Evan. The four men made their way down to the sparring cave where Rodney wasn’t sure if he should be concerned that he was relieved when they found the cave was empty. Chuck and Evan both looked unsure once they were down there and a bit out of their element.

“Don’t worry,” Rodney told them. “We’ll go easy on you and it really isn’t that hard.”

“Easier than Ronon?” Evan asked dubiously.

Rodney chuckled, knowing Evan “trained” with him regularly. “Much. And also easier than Teyla with her bantos sticks,” he told Chuck.

“She’s surprisingly evil with those things,” Chuck commented.

Rodney shrugged. “It’s all in a matter of perspective – we all know they both learned their skills out of sheer necessity. Not that we – and especially Evan – didn’t, but for them it literally was a life or death situation; not needing them was never an option.”

“And what about here?” Evan asked. “You said that their staff training was more ceremonial than practical.”

“Well, before I decided to shake things up, it was. I’m sure that at some point it might have been a necessary skill, otherwise it seems really arbitrary that they would know how to do it, much less pass it down through the generations. I think that from here on, it’ll start becoming more practical again, at least for a little while until the Laprans figure out where to go from here and how they want to do things. I think I threw a pretty big wrench into their worldview.”

“Are we going to get started or are we going to gab all night?” Kelly asked.

“We’re coming, we’re coming,” Rodney told him. “Kelly and I will start and then we’ll go from there with the two of you,” he told Chuck and Evan – who nodded.

As they started sparring, Rodney realized their fighting was much dirtier and useful than the careful and specific sparring they used to do before he left and it pleased him.

“You’ve really shaken things up, you know,” Kelly told him.

“How?” Rodney asked, wanting to know if Kelly meant in relation to the Korsans or Rodney’s relationship with Evan and Chuck.

“With everything. And I don’t know if it’s good or bad that you’ve done it, but I think it’s something that’s been needed for a long time. The elders are going to have a lot to discuss for a while as we figure out how to reconcile the events with the Korsans with what we believe and what the will of the gods is for us now. While we’ve hoped for a long time, we never thought we’d actually see the day that the Korsans would be stopped.”

“You’ve still got a ways to go there, though,” Rodney added. “It’s going to take a while for everything to settle again and for your peoples to iron things out and become real friends and trading partners.”

“I know. And I think it’s a really good thing – maybe even a great thing. I think you’ve been really good for us, Rodney-chan, no matter that some people are saying how we shouldn’t have fought back against the Korans or how what you’re doing with Chuck and Evan is wrong.”

Rodney grimaced as he blocked one of Kelly’s thrusts. “It’ll take time for them to realize how good things will be now that the threat of the Korsans won’t be overshadowing the tenth-month festival, but they’ll get there. And as for Evan, Chuck, and I – I’ll admit that it hurts that they don’t accept our relationship, but I understand why. It’s much more fundamental than the fight against the Korsans, but I can’t see my life without them.”

Kelly nodded as they finished. “I know what you mean – I feel the same way about Jillian and you have no idea how ecstatic I was when I found out we were a match.”

“And I’m really happy for both of you – I know you’ll both make a great couple and great parents.” He smirked. “But enough of that – what do you say to putting my lovers through their paces?”

Kelly returned the look. “I’d love to.”

As the foursome head back to their borough a while later, they were all sweaty and tired but happy and relaxed. Before they entered, Kelly stopped them and said to Rodney, “I don’t know how you feel about this, but I would like to give the three of you a binding ceremony. They are your bond friends now, regardless of what anyone says and Jillian and I would like them to be recognized that way.”

“What about Kirby?” Rodney asked, slightly shocked at Kelly’s offer.

“He’s,” Kelly stopped for a moment to think. When he resumed, it sounded like he was reciting what Kirby had told him. “He realizes that even though you are his adopted son, you are fundamentally not a Lapran and will not be living out your life here, so he shouldn’t force our ideals on you and that he would rather see you happy than conform to something that would have no real bearing on your day-to-day life. But talk it over with your friends and if they agree, we can do it the day after tomorrow.”

“What do you think the other Laprans will say?” Rodney asked, concerned.

“If they don’t like it, how did you say it? ‘They can suck lemons’.”

Rodney laughed. “Kelly wants to have a binding ceremony for the three of us,” he told Chuck and Evan.

“Didn’t we already have one?” Chuck asked.

“We did, but this would make it official.”

“What do you think?” Evan asked.

“I think we should do it,” Rodney told them. “Not for me to throw it in the other Laprans’ faces, because I’m not – but for you two. This way, something happens on Atlantis or to me and you have to leave and Earth isn’t an option, you’ll have somewhere to go. As my bond friends, you’ll be considered family. And I’ll admit that I’m shallow enough that I want this sort of recognition.”

“I’m willing to do it,” Evan told him.

“So am I,” Chuck added.

“Okay,” Rodney nodded with a bob of his head. “The ceremony will be the day after tomorrow, since we’ll need tomorrow to prepare. Which means we’ll miss the window and have to spend an extra few days here.”

“I think I can deal with an extra few vacation days,” Chuck told him.

“We’ll do it,” Rodney told Kelly and Kelly grinned.

“What will we need to do to prepare?” Evan asked.

“We’ll need to take a couple of baths – one in the morning and one in the evening, then one again before the ceremony. And we’ll have to be quiet the whole day. This is to ensure that we think about what we’re getting into and to make sure that we’re doing it with the best of intentions.”

“That sounds easy enough,” Chuck said. With a glint in his eye, he asked, “Do we have to be sequestered for the whole day too?”

Rodney gave him a disapproving look. “No. We actually have to be out in public as much as possible so everyone else can see that we’re taking this seriously.”

“Well, I don’t know about the two of you, but I’d like to take a bath now,” Evan replied before yawning.

“You can do it in the morning,” Rodney replied, prodding him in the shoulder to get him moving again.

Kirby was sitting outside their quarters when they returned and Rodney said to him, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied with a nod. “You’d better go get ready for bed – the next couple of days are going to be busy.”

Rodney went inside and found Jillian helping Chuck and Evan set up their bedding.

“If the three of you are together, why do they refuse to sleep together?” Jillian asked him.

“Out of respect,” he told her. “We’re not officially bonded or anything, so we’re trying to behave.”

She nodded. “I can see the reason in that. Good night.” She headed over to her cot to get ready for bed herself.

“Is everything okay?” Evan asked.

“Yeah,” Rodney replied. “She just wanted to know why we weren’t sleeping together if we’re together.”

The next day went by in a blur. Rodney fell into the silent mode as if he was pulling on a second skin. He could tell it was harder for Evan and Chuck to keep silent, but he gave them a lot of credit for doing incredibly well their first time. And he could tell that the silence was wearing on them and that he might be answering a few questions once they finished.

The day after, they got up and bathed again before putting on clean clothes. When they gathered in the common area for the ceremony, Rodney was surprised to see the people there. Kelly was going to perform the ceremony. Jillian and Kirby were standing for Rodney and Keith, Jessica, and the rest of their family came over to stand for Chuck and Evan. There were also a number of other Laprans who had stayed to watch.

Kelly had Rodney, Chuck, and Evan stand in front of him and the witnesses formed a semi-circle behind them. “We are here today to bind together Rodney, son of Lapras and Atlantis, and Chuck and Evan of Atlantis, in friendship. This ceremony is to recognize their committed friendship to each other and their desire to support each other in ways that a wife cannot,” he began and Rodney translated for him. Turning to Rodney, Kelly said, “Rodney, do you promise to support Chuck and Evan to the best of your abilities in all areas of their lives, to help them through the tough times and celebrate their joys?”

“I do,” Rodney replied with a nod as he glanced between Chuck and Evan.

Kelly repeated the process with both Chuck and Evan, with Rodney translating. Both men nodded as they replied, “I do.”

“As is our tradition, a pair that has bonded symbolically shows it by wearing an earring cuff and these are supplied by the families. Considering your different culture, we have decided instead for you to show your status with a different piece of jewelry.” Looking at Jillian, Kelly asked, “Do you have them?”

“I do,” she replied and presented each of the three men with a braided leather thong that had a piece of multicolored glass in a circle on it. Rodney examined his and saw that the colors melded into each other, so it was impossible to see where one ended and the next began.

Kelly nodded and Rodney took Evan’s and tied the leather around his neck before doing the same to Chuck. They both looked at each other before working together to fasten Rodney’s around his neck. Rodney saw that the thong was long enough that they’d be able to tuck the necklaces under their shirts.

“By your intentions and your words, you are now bonded friends,” Kelly pronounced with a smile. “May it be so for the rest of your lives and may you thrive in each other’s company.” Rodney grinned and so did Chuck and Evan once he had translated.

“But we have one more matter to attend to,” Kelly continued and Rodney looked at him quizzically. “Not only have these three men decided to bind themselves together as friends, but they’ve also taken it upon themselves to journey together as mates.” Kelly looked at each of them sternly. “This is no easy task – for anyone, much less those who have decided that their needs are best met along a different path than most. But those that undertake such a path, if they persevere, find their lives have been deeply enriched. Rodney, do you promise to forsake all others and live your life with the sole intention of committing yourself whole-heartedly to Chuck and Evan?”

Rodney gaped at him for a moment, blindsided by what Kelly was doing. “I do,” he finally managed to get out.

Kelly repeated the question for both Chuck and Evan – both of whom also looked shocked as Rodney translated, but managed to answer with a bit more ease. “With their agreement,” Kelly finished, “they have committed themselves to each other for the rest of their lives. May they find much happiness and enjoyment in it.”

As Rodney looked around, there were smiles all around from the families that were witnessing for them, and from most of the Laprans that had gathered to watch. He felt a surprising sense of relief wash through him that the world hadn’t ended – mixed with a heady rush at the realization that among one of his peoples, he was *married*.

“Are you okay?” Chuck asked quietly in his ear as the group started to disperse.

“Yeah,” Rodney replied. “Just taking it all in.”

Chuck laughed. “We’d better get moving, though. I think I’m beginning to recognize the words for food and feast.”

“We’ll go in a minute,” Evan told them, drawing both of them close to him. “First, I think it’s customary for the newlyweds to kiss.”

Rodney couldn’t help but grin as Evan first kissed Chuck, then him, chastely on the lips and he and Chuck repeated the action. This was definitely a day to remember.

“Home, sweet home,” Evan replied with a sigh as the wormhole dissipated behind them.

“We need to talk after the debriefing,” Chuck whispered as he eyed Elizabeth coming out onto the balcony to greet them.

“Welcome home, gentlemen,” she called. “After you check in with Carson, I’d like to see you in my office.”

“No problem,” Evan called as they headed to the infirmary.

Once there, Carson had the three of them sit side by side on a hospital bed as he did a quick physical on each of them. “Did you three have a good time on your vacation?” he asked.

“You have no idea,” Rodney replied with a grin. “But you’ll have to wait for all the little details until after the debriefing.”

Carson smiled as well. “How about you three come over to my quarters tonight for dinner and we can discuss it then? I’m sure John will want to hear as well.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Evan replied. “What time?”

Carson glanced at his watch. “Six should work. I’m sure you’ll be done with Elizabeth by then and it’ll give John and I time to prepare.” He pulled off his gloves. “You’re all set to go and in great health – as usual.”

“Like we expected anything else,” Chuck replied with a laugh as they hopped off the bed. “We’ll see you later, Doc.”

They headed back to Elizabeth’s office and along the way were stopped a few times by friends and acquaintances asking after their vacation. By the time they reached Elizabeth’s office, Rodney wanted to know how many people knew they had stayed on Lapras and what they thought the three of them had been doing.

“Welcome back again, gentlemen,” Elizabeth told them when they entered. “How did things go?”

“Very well,” Rodney replied. “The Laprans are still working through the moral and philosophical implications of what they’ve done, but I think things are going to be much better for them now. And the Korsans didn’t try any sort of retaliation measures while we were there.”

“But you did outline harsh penalties if they did try something,” Evan told him. “And after what’s happened in the past month or so between the Laprans and the Korsans, I doubt they’ll be eager to rush into anything.”

“This is true,” Rodney thoughtfully agreed. Turning his attention back to Elizabeth, he said, “Now that things are better with the Laprans and you’ve had a bit of first-hand experience with them, I’d like to again broach the subject of trading with them.”

“I’ll consider it, Rodney. But you do realize that the language barrier is a big hindrance when it comes to trade relations.”

“Well, Chuck and I were considering learning Lapran as well, Dr. Weir,” Evan told her. “And I’m sure that a few of the anthropologists and linguists would love to learn it too.”

“I’m not teaching everybody,” Rodney murmured.

“Then make a dictionary,” Evan muttered back.

“Don’t give him any ideas,” Chuck said quietly. “Or we’ll never see him.”

“Gentlemen,” Elizabeth said with raised eyebrows, regaining their attention. “Since there were no problems on Lapras, you’re free to go. But I would like a report from all of you in my email tomorrow.” As they stood, Elizabeth said, “And Chuck and Major Lorne – I’d like to see what you think about Atlantis’ trade relationship with Lapras.”

“Yes, ma’am,” they both replied before the three of them left.

“What did you want to talk about?” Evan asked as they left the control room.

“How we’re going to handle these,” Chuck replied, fingering his necklace through his shirt.

“I don’t see what we have to talk about,” Evan replied with a shrug. “If anyone asks, we can just say that they were gifts from the Laprans.”

Rodney stared at him for a long moment before striding off in a huff. He knew that the whole ‘bond friend’ thing didn’t mean as much to people from Earth as it did to the Laprans, but the fact that Evan was taking it so lightly now hurt him. And it wasn’t like he had known that Kelly was going to marry them as well, but if Chuck and Evan hadn’t wanted to do it, they could have spoken up.

“Rodney!” Evan called after him, but Rodney didn’t stop. “Wait –!”

“Leave him go, Evan,” Chuck said. After that their voices became unintelligible.

Rodney went to one of the hardly used balconies to clear his head. He had thought the three of them were all on the same page with their relationship, but now he wasn’t so sure. He knew he would need to talk to them, but at the moment it was too raw. It hurt knowing that he had been ready to fully commit himself to people who weren’t ready to do the same.

Rodney finally left the balcony and headed to his quarters. He cleaned up before heading over to Carson’s. When he arrived, Carson and John greeted him warmly and Chuck and Evan had already arrived and were sitting on the couch. Evan looked regretful when Rodney entered.

Chuck got up and made a beeline for Rodney. He gave him a hug, his arm lingering on Rodney’s waist as he leaned close and whispered in Rodney’s ear, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” Rodney replied honestly. “I know Evan wasn’t trying to be hurtful, but it did hurt.”

“I know and so does he and he feels bad about it.” Chuck pulled back so he could look in Rodney’s eyes. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

Rodney nodded. “Okay.”

He let Chuck grab his hand and lead him over to the couch. Chuck had Rodney sit between him and Evan, not letting go of Rodney’s hand.

Evan tentatively took Rodney’s other hand and Rodney let him. “I’m sorry about earlier,” he told Rodney.

Rodney nodded. “We can talk about it later,” he replied.

“Everything okay?” John asked with a raised eyebrow as he finished setting the table.

Looking up at him, Rodney nodded and replied, “It will be. Just a, uh, misunderstanding. So. Here we are. I hope you’ve both settled back in okay.”

“We weren’t gone that long, Rodney,” John replied with an amused look. “But, yes, we have.”

“It was extraordinary seeing where you were and the people you were with, Rodney,” Carson added. “It’s no wonder you came back so changed. And I really would like to pick your brain some time about Lapran medical practices.”

Rodney shrugged. “Sure.”

“Dinner’s ready,” John said. “Come and get it.”

As they moved to the table, Evan eyed the sandwiches and chips and said, “I don’t know, Sheppard. We were kind of spoiled on Lapras. I don’t know if we can go back to normal food.” Chuck started giggling and Rodney elbowed Evan in the ribs. “But I guess we’ll have to make do.”

“Their food was good,” John agreed. “Especially considering they have a more limited food supply than we did our first year,” he glared at Evan, “which a newbie such as yourself wouldn’t understand or appreciate.”

Rodney enjoyed the good-natured ribbing that was going on. “Before I was stranded there, I would have made a snide comment about how they couldn’t possibly be able to do the things they’ve done, but it’s amazing how well they’ve been able to adapt to their surroundings. John and Carson, I wish I could have shown you where we make the silk and the glass.”

“Those were really cool,” Chuck affirmed with a bob of his head.

“What else happened aside from Chuck and Evan getting the complete tour?” Carson asked.

Rodney blushed. “We were officially bonded and we got these necklaces,” he touched his, which had remained outside of his shirt, “instead of the traditional earcuffs.” His hand instinctively went to his ear to make sure his was still there. “And we were kind of married,” he rushed.

“You were what?” John asked, his eyes going wide. “What do you mean ‘kind of married’?”

“I think the ‘kind of part’ comes in when debating if being married by people from another planet counts as binding,” Evan replied. “But either way you look at it, we were.”

“This wasn’t some bizarre thing where they forced you, was it?” John asked dubiously.

“Well, they did spring it on us at the end of the binding ceremony – which we knew about and consented to. But no, they didn’t force us.” Evan’s hand slid onto Rodney’s thigh and he gently squeezed and Rodney placed his hand on top of Evan’s. “In fact, I think they’re still weirded out by the idea of three guys together.”

“Semantics aside, congratulations,” Carson told them. “And given that news, now should maybe be the time we bring up some news that we have. While you three were gone, Elizabeth cleared some of the family quarters for use.”

“Finally,” Chuck replied. “Now I won’t have to listen to people bitching about it in the control room after Elizabeth tells them she’ll think about it. Especially after John did all of the mapping and checks years ago.”

“You did what?” Rodney replied, a little louder than he intended. “I knew you were insane, but that’s just downright stupid.”

John’s ears had gone bright red. “I thought we’d already talked about that, Rodney,” he replied calmly. “Besides, you know Atlantis loves me. She wouldn’t have let me get hurt.”

Rodney huffed. “Yes, yes, we know you’re her golden son returned home. And I know it’s way in the past, but I hope you realize how stupid and foolish it was to do it on your own.”

“I’ve been reprimanded more than once about it,” John replied with a nod. “But that’s not the point. The point is that the three of you won’t have to sneak around any more if you don’t want to.”

“Especially considering that if they didn’t know about us before, they do now,” Chuck added. “It’ll be interesting to see what’s being said about us.”

“We’ll be moving too, if that makes you feel any better,” Carson told them. “And I know that most of the other couples will be as well.”

“Are you sure?” Rodney asked them doubtfully. “Do you think you’re ready for that step?”

Carson gave Rodney an ‘I’m not stupid’ look as he replied, “I wouldn’t move an inch if I wasn’t ready, Rodney, and neither would John. But we’re going to look at the quarters tomorrow and see if we find one we like, if you want to come along and look for yourselves.”

“We’ll have to talk about it,” Rodney replied. He knew being able to move in together would be a huge step for the three of them and he wanted to make sure they were ready for it.

The conversation turned to other topics as John and Carson caught them up on what had been going on while they were gone. Not long after they finished, the three men bade their hosts good night and headed out.

When they entered Chuck’s quarters, Evan turned to Rodney and said, “I really am sorry about what I said earlier. I wasn’t thinking and it obviously showed. I didn’t mean to diminish what we decided to do, but even with Elizabeth relaxing the rules, you know I’m still a very private person when it comes to relationships, and I don’t think it’s anybody else’s business.”

“Apology accepted,” Rodney replied. “And I’m sorry if I overreacted. As you both know, I take the whole bond friend custom very seriously and it felt like you were just passing it off like it was nothing and like what we have is nothing when I know that’s really not true. The important people will know what’s what and everyone else can think whatever they want.” He paused for a moment before continuing, this time to both of them. “And I’m sorry about the marriage part of it. I honestly didn’t know Kelly was going to do that.”

“Duly noted,” Chuck replied with a smile as he closed the distance to Rodney. He smiled and let out a soft chuckle. “But I don’t really mind as long as we get the wedding night we were denied on Lapras.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Rodney replied, wrapping an arm around Chuck’s waist and pulling him close to his side. “What do you think?” he asked Evan.

“I think that sounds like a great idea,” Evan replied, joining them. “I know I’ve been bad about expressing it, but I’ve been in this for the long haul since the beginning. Actually being married by somebody was just icing on the cake. And now that we’re married, we should do the paperwork, even if no one else will recognize it.”

“And tomorrow we’ll go house hunting,” Chuck added.

“And we’ll have to decide how out we’re going to be,” Rodney threw out.

“Like you said, the important people will know for sure and everyone else can think what they want and if they guess, they guess,” Evan replied. “And I promise I’ll work on not trying to hide it so much. Just don’t expect me to chair the Atlantis Pride event.”

“There’s going to be an Atlantis Pride event?” Chuck asked, incredulously.

“Not if I have anything to do with it,” Rodney told him. “As much as I’m all for the idea, Pride events tend to just be tacky.”

Chuck pouted and Rodney kissed him in response. “I suppose I can let that go, if this is what I get instead.”

“Oh, you’ll get a lot more,” Rodney replied, pulling away from them and starting to undress.

The next morning, Chuck, Evan, and Rodney met John and Carson in the mess hall for breakfast before heading out to look at the newly approved quarters. A few had signs on the doors stating they were already claimed. But two next to each other were unmarked and the five men looked at each other, shrugged, and entered the first one.

It was cozy, but had a kitchenette, bedroom, bathroom, and living area – and was the perfect size for two people.

“I’m surprised no one’s snatched this one up,” Carson said. “It’s next to a transporter and comfortable.”

“But it doesn’t have a whole lot of growth potential,” John told him. “I think the people that are moving in over here are planning on being here for quite a while – if not the long haul. That usually includes children.”

“Which I have no desire to have,” Carson replied. “My nieces and nephews were enough, thank you.”

“I think that settles it, then,” John stated. “We’ll take it. Let’s go look for your quarters,” he said to the trio as they all exited.

Carson quickly scrawled a sign from the provisions left on a small table by the transporter and tacked it onto the door before they all trooped next door.

Inside it was much more spacious than the one next to it. It had the kitchenette, bathroom, living area, and bedroom – which was larger than the one in John and Carson’s new quarters. There were also two smaller rooms that were, surprisingly, unfurnished.

“I’m surprised no one snapped this one up,” Evan said. “It’s perfect for a family.”

“Too close to the transporter?” Rodney queried. “It would be too easy for a small child to transit somewhere else in the city.”

“Then I say we take it,” Chuck called from the master bedroom. “It’s enough space for us – maybe even more than we need – and this bed is outstanding.”

“You are such a hedonist,” Rodney said, leaning against the doorway and grinning at Chuck, who was lying spread-eagle on the bed.

“Don’t deny you’ve appreciated my efforts, though,” Chuck replied and Rodney shook his head in amusement.

“I think we should take it,” Evan said as he joined them. “This bed is obviously more than big enough for the three of us and Rodney can use one of the spare rooms as a study if he wants.”

“Don’t tempt him,” Chuck said. “We’ll never see him if we let him do that. But I second that.”

“I’m not going to argue,” Rodney replied. “And I’m not going to make it into a study. I’d rather keep the experiments in the lab. They can be storage or guest rooms or whatever.” A light bulb went off and he grinned. “You could turn one into a studio if you want,” he said to Evan.

Evan stared at him for a moment, a number of emotions crossing his face quickly.

“What?” Rodney asked. “I can appreciate art. Especially when it’s yours.”

Chuck got up and joined them. “I think it’s been decided. You don’t have to make up your mind now, though, Evan.” He pushed through them to go into the living room and rejoin an amused Carson and John. “I’m going to make a sign before anyone who might have seen us starts thinking all five of us are having an orgy.”

“You’re no fun,” Evan replied with a pout.

“Oh, we’ll have our own little orgy later,” Rodney breathed in Evan’s ear before following the others outside. “Who are we moving first?”

“Let’s move Carson first,” John said. “He has a better chance of being needed on a more regular basis than the rest of us.”

“I haven’t even started packing,” Carson protested.

“None of us has, Doc,” John replied. “But when you are ready, we’ll move you first. I’ll even help you pack, if you’d like.”

“I think I just might,” Carson replied with a wicked smile as they stepped in the transporter. “We’ll see you three later,” he said as John pressed their destination and the doors closed.

“I don’t think we’re going to be seeing them for a while,” Chuck replied as the transporter’s doors reopened and they got in.

“Not that it really matters,” Evan replied. “We’ve got our own work to do.”

Rodney sighed as he stopped going through his things and stretched his back. He hadn’t realized how much stuff he had accumulated prior to his time on Lapras and how much of it he didn’t want any more. He set a few things aside for people who he knew would be able to use them and appreciate them, but the majority of stuff he had no idea what to do with.

He sighed again and began throwing things into boxes. He figured it would just be easier to sort through his stuff once he was in the new quarters and having to share space with Evan and Chuck would put a premium on space and would force him to choose what to keep and what to discard.

“Are you all set, sir?” one of the Marines asked, stopping just outside the door.

“I think so,” Rodney replied, hatching the top of the last box. “You can come in, Andrews,” he told him as he picked up the box. “Everything that’s boxed up is going over. After that, it’ll just be some odds and ends.”

Andrews, along with two more Marines and three of the scientists came in and they grabbed boxes before following Rodney out and down to his new quarters. Rodney had been surprised that, once word got around that new quarters had been opened for people to use, everyone was so willing to help everyone else move. He knew, realistically, they were doing it so they’d have people who would return the favor, but the turnout was still amazing. Not only were they able to move John and Carson into their quarters in one morning, they were moving himself, Chuck, and Evan in the same afternoon.

When Rodney and his little band arrived at his new quarters, he called over his shoulder as he entered, “Just put the boxes wherever you can find a spot. We’ll sort everything out later.”

“If that isn’t a sign you’ve changed, I don’t know what is,” Chuck said with a smirk as Rodney set his box down. “Before your time on Lapras, you would have been lording over all of us and telling us meticulously where everything went as it came through the door.”

Rodney pulled Chuck close to him and murmured, “And also before my time on Lapras, I would have never been doing something like this.”

Chuck chuckled. “Neither would I. We’d better get finished. I think Evan has something planned for us.”

“Damn right, I do,” Evan told them as he joined them from the master bedroom. “Now, get moving or I’ll start penalizing you both without telling either of you what’s being taken away. And you don’t want that, now do you?”

“Do you act this way with your soldiers too?” Rodney asked.

“Depends,” Evan replied with a shrug of his eyebrows and a smirk as he left both of them.

Rodney and Chuck both sighed and headed out to finish cleaning out their quarters.

As Rodney took a last look around his, he felt an odd twinge of nostalgia and sadness for leaving, even if he had never spent much time here, but the memories he did have were strong ones. But it only lasted for a second before he left and the door closed behind him for the last time.

Back in his new quarters, Evan and Chuck were alone and they had started unpacking the boxes, with no distinction between whose was whose. Rodney started to help them, but Evan stopped them both and kissed first Chuck, then Rodney.

“Welcome home,” he told them both.

“I hope neither of you were expecting me to carry you across the threshold,” Rodney told them, nervousness suddenly hitting him again. “Because it’s a little late for that now.”

“I think we can do without that,” Chuck told him. “But I can think of a few other things we could do to settle into our new place that don’t include unpacking.” He grinned naughtily at both of them.

“I think that’s a great idea,” Evan agreed. He tugged their hands and led them to the bedroom.

The room was still sparsely furnished, but the bed had been made and supplies laid out on one of the bedside tables. Rodney chuckled inwardly at seeing how his lovers’ priorities were ordered.

“Stop thinking,” Evan murmured, coming up behind Rodney and running his hands under the hem of Rodney’s shirt.

“Oh, believe me, I’m not thinking,” Rodney replied as he leaned back against Evan.

Evan nuzzled Rodney’s neck as his hands came around Rodney’s sides and up his stomach to his chest. Rodney gasped as Evan ran his thumbs over Rodney’s nipples. Chuck joined them and pulled Rodney’s shirt off before kissing him deeply and grinding his hips against Rodney.

“If you two keep this up,” Rodney gasped as he felt arousal sweep through him, “I’m not going to last much longer.”

“We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” Chuck asked as he stepped back and pulled off his own shirt before going for his pants. “Come on, you two and hurry up – there’s far too much clothing being worn right now.”

Rodney’s hands reached his fly a second after Evan’s did. Evan deftly undid the buttons on Rodney’s fly before reaching inside to stroke Rodney’s half-hard cock. Rodney arched against his touch as he fully hardened.

“Don’t come yet,” Evan told him as he stopped. “I want you to come inside me.”

Rodney’s whimper turned into a moan. “Then what are we waiting for?” he asked breathlessly.

Evan chuckled softly as he stepped back and broke contact. When he and Rodney finished undressing, they moved to get on the bed, but were stopped by the image of Chuck – who was spread out in the middle of the bed, hands behind his head, erection curving up towards his stomach – watching them. Rodney couldn’t help noticing a couple of pillows strategically placed beneath Chuck’s hips.

“Now that I have your attention,” Chuck drawled, pushing himself up onto his elbows, “who’s going to get over here and fuck me?”

Both Rodney and Evan moved at the same time and landed on either side of Chuck. Rodney leaned in and captured Chuck’s mouth with his own, kissing him deeply and passionately. Chuck responded in kind, a hand coming up to tangle in Rodney’s hair and keep him in place. Chuck yelped into Rodney’s mouth and broke the kiss to glare at Evan, who grinned mischievously at him, his hand still on Chuck’s nipple. Evan took the opportunity and captured Chuck’s mouth.

Rodney watched his lovers avidly, desire pooling in his groin. He blindly reached behind himself and, after a moment of searching, grabbed the lube off the table. Still watching them, he opened the tube and coated his fingers. He trailed them lightly down Chuck’s stomach from his navel to his groin, carefully skirted around Chuck’s cock and balls, and down to brush over his asshole. Chuck shivered and opened his legs wider. Rodney carefully worked a first finger inside of Chuck, enjoying watching Chuck and Evan as they continued kissing and touching each other. As he worked a second finger inside Chuck, Rodney did his best to ignore the growing insistence of his own arousal – he wanted to wait until he was inside Evan before letting himself go.

Rodney smiled to himself as he saw that Chuck was starting to respond to his ministrations, gently thrusting down to meet the inward thrust of Rodney’s fingers. He added a third finger and kept going, knowing that Chuck was almost ready.

A few more thrusts and Chuck broke the kiss, panting heavily. “Just get on with it already,” he panted.

Rodney grinned up at Evan as he withdrew his fingers from Chuck. He recoated them and wrapped his fingers around Evan’s cock and began slowly stroking him. Evan let out a stuttered breath as he dropped his head and closed his eyes and his hips began thrusting into Rodney’s hand. Once Evan’s cock had been sufficiently coated, Rodney let go and Evan settled between Chuck’s legs. Carefully cradling Chuck’s ass, Evan slowly pushed himself inside, making Chuck feel every inch as he did so. Chuck writhed beneath him, his breath coming quicker and more erratically. They took a moment once Evan was completely inside of him, before Evan moved so he was leaning over Chuck, his weight supported by his hands and knees, and he began pounding into Chuck. Chuck easily met his thrusts with his own, his cock rubbing against Evan’s stomach, breathy moans coming from both of them every time Evan hit his prostate.

Rodney drank the sight of his lovers in, his still-slick hand wrapping around his own erection and slowly jacked himself off as he watched them become more and more erratic the closer they got to completion. Evan came first – his whole body stiffening as he released his essence into Chuck. Chuck came a second afterwards, a soft cry escaping his lips as he did so, splattering both himself and Evan. Rodney gasped at the sight of them and his cock jumped in his hand. He was so close, he could feel his body start to rush and his focus narrowing.

Both Evan and Chuck looked at him at the same time, their expressions all desire and lust and want and that undid him, Rodney’s own seed spilling out and over his hand.

“God, you are so hot when you do that,” Chuck told Rodney as Evan withdrew from him and leaned back so he could look at both of them.

Rodney blushed slightly as he wiped his hand on the sheet and turned onto his back. “I hope you don’t mind waiting a bit,” he said to Evan. “I’m not exactly a teenager anymore.”

“Neither am I, but who said anything about waiting?” Evan asked with a lascivious grin. “I have no intention of waiting.”

He went back down on his hands and knees and stalked up the length of Rodney’s body, his knees going on either side of Rodney’s hips. He leaned down so he could kiss Rodney and Rodney groaned into his mouth as he gently thrust up against Evan. As they nipped and kissed each other, Evan began slowly rolling his hips against Rodney’s, sending soft sparks of arousal through both of them. Chuck joined them, his front pressed against their sides as he leaned on his elbow and ran his free hand over whatever bare patch of skin he could touch and kissed whatever part he could get his mouth on. When Evan and Rodney broke off their kiss, they both turned their heads and the three of them took turns kissing each other languidly, and soon Rodney’s focus had pared down to the physical sensations of what they were doing.

As Rodney started to feel his body respond again, Evan found the lube and handed it over to Chuck. Without a word, Chuck opened the tube and spread some lube on his fingers and pressed them into the crack in Evan’s ass and began to gently work his way inside of Evan.

“I want you inside of me now,” Evan whispered hungrily in Rodney’s ear with a slow, deliberate roll of his hips and partial erection against Rodney.

Rodney gasped and his eyes widened in desire as Evan thrust back against Chuck’s fingers. Rodney looked at Chuck, who was watching him avidly, his own cock becoming a presence against Rodney’s thigh. Chuck bent down and kissed him, tongue licking across Rodney’s lips, seeking access which Rodney easily gave and they plundered each other’s mouths as Chuck’s fingers easily went about their work of preparing Evan. Rodney groaned into Chuck’s mouth as Evan began sucking his pulse point. Chuck’s hand wrapped around Rodney’s mostly erect cock, stroking him confidently as he coated it in lube. Rodney arched into his hand, craving the touch and wanting more, so much more.

When Chuck finished, he helped Rodney and Evan line themselves up so that Evan could slowly slide down onto Rodney’s cock. Once Rodney was completely seated inside of him, Evan rolled his hips and Rodney groaned as his hands settled on Evan’s thighs near his hips and his erection flared fully to life. The muscles in Evan’s ass contracted around him and Rodney moaned, thrusting up into Evan. This had to be Rodney’s favorite position – he was able to more clearly watch his partners while the three of them made love and he always found it extraordinarily hot whenever either the one on top jacked himself off or whoever wasn’t directly involved sucked the top off.

They set a slow, unhurried pace – intent more on what they were feeling than on getting off. They both shifted and Evan’s eyes closed as he groaned; they’d hit Evan’s prostate. Rodney tightened his grip on Evan’s thighs and kept stroking his prostate on every pass, watching Evan’s cock harden fully and his breathing grow shallower and move from his nose to his mouth. They continued letting the pressure build slowly and Rodney focused on the feeling of Evan’s ass rhythmically squeezing around his cock and Chuck’s cock shallowly thrusting against his hip.

But soon things shifted and Chuck moved away slightly so he could take control of himself and Evan did the same. Rodney licked his lips as he watched Evan stroke himself slowly and surely, his hand matching the tempo their bodies had set. Rodney moaned at the sight of his lover jacking himself off as he fucked himself on Rodney’s cock and his hips started moving faster in response.

Chuck moved again, this time onto his knees. He leaned in and suckled the closest of Rodney’s nipples, eliciting a gasp from Rodney before moving and taking Evan’s cock in his mouth. As he sucked Evan off, Evan’s movements became more erratic as he fought between the dual sensations of Chuck’s mouth and Rodney’s cock. Both Evan and Rodney’s hands tangled in Chuck’s hair and held his head in place as he drew Evan’s orgasm out of him, easily drinking him down before sucking through the aftershocks. The spasms in Evan’s ass were enough to precipitate Rodney’s orgasm, and he gripped Evan’s thighs tightly as he thrust up one last time and emptied into him.

When Rodney came back to himself, Evan had already gotten off of him and was laying next to Rodney and opposite Chuck. Rodney looked over at Chuck, who was still on his hands and knees, still working on finishing himself off.

“Hey,” he said, tapping Chuck’s thigh, “come here.”

Chuck glanced back at him for a moment before moving so his knees were framing Rodney’s head and his cock was directly above Rodney. He touched his cock to Rodney’s lips and Rodney eagerly opened his mouth, accepting Chuck’s cock. He sucked and licked what he could of Chuck’s cock as Chuck carefully thrust down into his mouth. Chuck placed his forehead against Rodney’s thigh; his breath sent warm puffs of air tingling over Rodney’s sated cock. Rodney smiled, self-satisfied, as Chuck began to tremble and he pressed the tip of his tongue just under the head of Chuck’s cock before swathing it with his tongue and wrapping his lips around the head and gave him a deliberate suck. As always, Chuck came and Rodney hungrily swallowed.

Chuck collapsed on his side of the bed, his breathing still heavy. Once he composed himself, he moved so he was curled against Rodney’s side and Evan did the same on his side.

“I love you two,” Rodney told them both as he felt sleep blur the edges of his vision.

“Love you too,” both Evan and Chuck replied sleepily before the three of them dozed off.

They awoke an hour later and they stretched at the same time.

Evan giggled before kissing Rodney’s shoulder and placing his cheek against it. “So, I’ve been thinking,” he said, “now that we’re married and we have a place of our own, maybe we should start thinking about kids.”

“Why the hell would we want to do that?” Rodney replied, his post-sex glow dissipating.

Evan shrugged. “I don’t know. I kind of always wanted some.”

“You really are the poster child for the All-American boy, aren’t you?” Rodney asked sarcastically.

Evan huffed. “Look, it was just a thought. I know this is out of blue, but I wasn’t going to just randomly throw this out there when we didn’t know if we were planning for the long haul or not.”

“I think it’s a good idea,” Chuck told him.

“Am I the only one who doesn’t?” Rodney asked. “My dislike of children aside, think about it. While our schedules have gotten better, they’re still erratic enough that we can’t always guarantee what’s going to happen from day to day. And what happens the next time there’s a crisis? Remember the ones where *everyone* was on uppers for thirty-six hours straight before crashing for twelve? What would we do then?”

“It was just a thought, Rodney,” Evan sighed, turning away from Rodney.

“I’m sorry, Evan,” Rodney told him, moving so he could spoon behind him and wrapped an arm around Evan’s waist. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just don’t want to be unfair to the little goobers because we can’t take care of them. I’d suggest getting a cat, to see how we did with a pet first and go from there, but I know your allergies would preclude that.”

“Besides, pets still aren’t allowed,” Chuck reminded them as he spooned behind Rodney. “Why don’t we all think about this for a while? And I mean actually think about it,” he said, poking Rodney in the hip, “because Rodney does have a good point. Maybe in a week or two we’ll have some ideas and we’ll be able to have a constructive discussion and go from there. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” Evan replied.

“Agreed,” Rodney admitted reluctantly before his stomach growled. “And I guess that’s our cue to get moving again.”

Chuck and Evan laughed as Chuck rubbed Rodney’s belly before the three of them got up. They took quick turns in the shower in the interest of saving time – which had also been set up – before heading down to the mess hall.

As they sat down, Evan said, “We’ll have to do something with our extra stuff. I doubt we really need to have two coffee makers. Do you still have yours?” he asked Rodney.

Rodney shook his head. “I already donated mine to the science department. But I agree.”

“What about a garage sale or something?” Chuck asked. “I’m sure that other people who are moving in together are in the same situation. I could talk to Elizabeth about it and set something up. Might even be fun.” He grinned. “It would be interesting to see what sorts of things other people are getting rid of.”

“If you bring home a Chia Pet, you’ll be sleeping on the couch for a week,” Rodney told him.

Chuck pouted and Evan laughed. “You know he’s not serious,” he said as he put an arm around Chuck and hugged him to his side and Chuck laughed as well.

Rodney sighed. “Sadly, you’re right. I’m not.”

Rodney heard a snort of derision come from a table behind him. “Would you look at those faggots?” a voice said. “That’s just unnatural.”

Rodney bristled, ready to turn around and launch into whoever had said that when he heard a choked-off yelp and someone else, he was almost certain Andrews, reply, “Don’t go disrespecting a commanding officer that way if you know what’s good for you. Major Lorne’s one of the best you’ll ever have. And if Dr. McKay finds out what you said, you’ll have cold water indefinitely.” Rodney heard the offending soldier sputter as Andrews continued, “And Sergeant Campbell knows things. You wouldn’t want to get on his bad side either. Who they sleep with is their own damn business and none of yours and you’ll keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you.”

Rodney smiled to himself and made a mental note to talk to John about the incident before the next sensitivity training program. “So,” he said, mentally shaking off his bad mood, “about this garage sale – how were you thinking of handling it?”

As Chuck started talking, Rodney sat back in his chair and smiled. Right this moment, life was good.

“This is stupid,” Rodney muttered as he threw a shirt into his duffel bag. “I don’t see why I have to go back to Earth just to sign some papers to prove that I’m alive. They can send them in the next databurst, I’ll sign them and then send them back.”

Evan came up behind Rodney and put his arms around Rodney’s waist and his head on Rodney’s shoulder. “They probably want to make sure that you’re really you and not a clone,” he commented. “Besides, they probably don’t believe you – the Rodney McKay they know would never cede his position as head of science.” He kissed Rodney’s neck. “And I want you there to see me get promoted.”

“All right,” Rodney replied, mollified. “But why is Chuck coming? He’s not senior staff.”

“Chuck is coming because he is the head Gate tech,” Chuck replied, coming in from the living room with a few items that he put in his bag.

“How did I not know that?” Rodney asked, confused. “And we’ve never had that position.”

“You never asked and it happened while you were gone.” Chuck shrugged. “And it never seemed like something necessary that needed to be said. Come on – it’ll be fun.” He dumped his stuff in his bag. “Okay, maybe not the IOA stuff, but afterwards we’re supposed to be getting some mandatory leave. We’ll be able to go where we can be ourselves and not have to worry about the consequences.”

“Oh, you mean we’ll get to come home?” Rodney asked dryly.

“What’s gotten into you?” Evan asked, gently squeezing his arms around Rodney.

Rodney sighed. “I don’t like knowing that they’ll want to question me about what we did with the Laprans. The IOA don’t know anything them or their situation.”

“It’ll be okay, Rodney,” Chuck told him as he joined them, kissing Rodney on the forehead and Evan on the tip of his nose.

“Are we ready, gentlemen?” Elizabeth’s voice came through the room’s PA system.

“Just about,” Chuck called as Rodney and Evan sighed and Evan pulled away. “We’ll be down in five minutes.”

“I’m counting on it,” Elizabeth replied and Rodney said, “Once more into the breach…” as he began zipping up his bag.

When they reached the Control room, John, Carson, and Elizabeth were already waiting with their own bags in front of the Gate along with Teyla and Radek.

“Have a good trip,” Teyla told them, before touching foreheads with Rodney, Chuck, and Evan.

“Try not to blow anything up while we’re gone,” Rodney told Radek as they shook hands.

“Very funny,” Radek replied dryly before sobering. “I’ll promise not to blow anything up if you promise to come back.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” Rodney replied.

“Dial the Gate,” Elizabeth called up. One of the techs quickly responded and a few seconds later the wormhole had stabilized. Rodney sighed as they headed out.

Richard Woolsey was waiting for them on the other side of the Gate. “Good morning and welcome back to Earth, everyone,” he said. “If you’ll come with me, we’ll be on our way.”

“To, um, where exactly?” Rodney asked as they stepped off the ramp.

“We’re going to Washington, D.C.,” Woolsey replied, an expression of ‘that should have been apparent’ on his face before leading them out of the Gate Room.

“Be nice,” John murmured as they headed down the hallway to the elevators. “It won’t pay to hurt him before we even get out of the Mountain.”

“Are you sure?” Rodney replied. “Not even a little bit?”

“Nope. And believe me, I’d help you if I could.”

“Good to know. I may take you up on it later.” Rodney tugged at the hem of his t-shirt. “Does this shirt look all right?”

“It’s fine. Why?” John gave him a confused look.

“Because it’s actually Evan’s. Mine were all a little too big.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. Not, you know, a lot – but enough you could tell. I didn’t want to give the IOA any more reasons to be suspicious. And before you ask, I belted the pants. But I did consider asking Chuck if I could borrow some of his. First chance we get, I’m going to buy some new clothes.”

“Will you actually wear them on Atlantis?”

“Probably not, but they’ll be good to have just in case.”

They arrived at the elevators and had to split the group up to fit in the elevator. Chuck, Evan, and Rodney waited for the second round.

“It feels weird,” Evan remarked on their way up. “I never really thought about it, but now that I can’t feel Atlantis it feels like there’s something missing – like a hum in the back of my mind or something.”

“I agree,” Rodney replied. “I never really thought about it when I was on Lapras the first time, but the second time I went back, I definitely felt the difference.”

“I kind of miss it,” Chuck added. “Not that I really thought about it before, but –.” He shrugged. “It feels weird without it.”

The group was quiet once they reached topside. As they headed to the plane that would take them to Washington, D.C., Rodney re-shouldered his duffel bag and tugged at the hem of his shirt self-consciously. He wished he was back in Atlantis. He wished he was allowed to wear his own clothing and not feel forced to borrow Evan’s or Chuck’s or buy new things. When they got back, he wanted to remember to ask Teyla and Ronon how much pressure they felt to conform to the Expedition’s standards and trappings.

During the flight prep and take-off, Woolsey quickly briefed them on what to expect once they reached D.C. before leaving them to amuse themselves for the rest of the flight.

Carson and John immediately fell asleep, halfway between decorously and curled together (if one knew how to look) – to Chuck, Evan, and Rodney’s shared amusement. Woolsey buried himself in a book. Producing a pack of cards from his bag, Evan enticed his lovers and Elizabeth into an intricate card game they had learned from one of their allies.

Rodney was glad for the diversion. It took his mind off of all the possible ways the situation they were going into could go terribly wrong. And not just for himself – but also for Evan and John. If he let it, his mind could go into all sorts of creative scenarios where, at the last minute, instead of being promoted, they would be stripped of their ranks and dishonorably discharged for being what they were.

When the game was finished, Evan asked him, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” Rodney replied, waving him off.

“Maybe you should get some sleep,” Evan suggested. “We’ve still got about two and a half hours before we land and who knows how long the rest of today’s going to be.”

Rodney nodded and saw that Chuck and Elizabeth were also settling in for a nap. Lowering his voice so only Evan could hear him, Rodney glanced around commented, “Is it just me, or does this suck?”

“It’s not just you,” Evan replied softly. “One day it won’t suck, though,” he promised as he unobtrusively brushed his hand over Rodney’s. “One day.”

Rodney wasn’t sure which he hated more – the three week one-way trip on the Daedalus or the difference in time between Earth and Atlantis. The latter invariably lead to them losing a day from Gate lag if they needed to travel anywhere other than the Mountain.

One of the few consolations was that the IOA had reserved rooms for them in one of the nicer hotels in D.C. It still baffled him, however, when Woolsey handed them their room keys. Elizabeth, naturally, had her own room. The other two rooms were split between the men – John and Evan in one; Carson, Rodney, and Chuck in the other. Rodney was sure that there was some convoluted reasoning behind all of it, but he almost felt like ranting that they weren’t in school anymore and should be allowed to pick their own roommates until he saw the evil grin on John and Evan’s faces when they discovered their rooms were connected.

“Well, that solves a lot of problems,” Carson had casually remarked. “Who’s up for something to eat?”

In the end, all six of them had spent the remainder of the day in each other’s company, only retiring to separate rooms when they had to sleep.

“We never mentioned what we’d do if all three of us were off-world,” Chuck commented as he got in bed and Evan playfully smacked him on the arm.

“I think we should just be glad we’re able to do this and not push our luck,” he replied. “Are you coming, Rodney?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Rodney replied as he finished brushing his teeth. “Though I’m not much in the mood for anything – debating or otherwise.”

“Don’t worry – tomorrow will be fine,” Evan told him as Rodney turned out the lights.

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” Rodney responded as he got in bed and easily molded himself against Evan.

“And neither do you,” Chuck told him, reaching over Evan to stroke Rodney’s arm. “They may give you shit, but there’s no reason for them to keep you here.”

The meeting with the IOA started off just as Rodney had expected. Way too early, not enough coffee, and boring quibbling over things that happened with the Wraith during his first stay on Lapras. He doodled on his notepad as the conversation wore on, wondering why the IOA hadn’t called them onto the carpet before now if they hadn’t liked the way the Atlanteans had dealt with the Wraith. He was intrigued, though, that Woolsey was playing devil’s advocate more for them than Rodney remembered, and he idly wondered what had caused that change. Rodney breathed a slight sigh of relief along with the rest of the Atlanteans when the IOA finally agreed that their decisions and actions had been an acceptable course of action.

“Have we been boring you, Dr. McKay?” Representative Coolidge asked him disdainfully as the conversation wound down.

“Not particularly,” Rodney replied as he set his pen down and looked up at the U.S. representative to the IOA. “It’s just that my areas of expertise include physics and engineering, not history. And considering how I was absent during the period you are so intent on dissecting to its nanoparticles, I simply don’t have any interest other than ‘Woo-hoo, the Wraith have been defeated once and for all’.” He waved his hands enthusiastically before letting them drop back to the armrests with a look of scorn.

Coolidge’s eyes narrowed slightly as he leaned forward and folded his hands on top of his portfolio. “Yes, we’d like to hear more about that.”

Rodney shrugged. “Due to circumstances beyond anyone’s control, I was stranded on another world for a little over three years. Through some very fortunate good luck, Col. Sheppard and his team found themselves back on the world with the ability to extract me, and here I am.”

Rep. Chapman cleared his throat. “And what about allegations that you had ‘gone native’?”

Rodney shrugged again. “Call it what you want, but the basic desire for survival is a strong one in all organisms and if you want to call my adapting to survive going native, I’m not going to deny it.” He wasn’t stupid enough to admit to them that he actually had gone native. He leaned forward and folded his hands in front of him. “Look. We can argue back and forth about this all you want and I can guarantee we’re not going to get anywhere. Yes, I was stranded. Yes, I adapted in order to survive. No, I’m not a threat to Atlantis or Earth. You all have all the psych evaluations and notes from Drs. Heightmeyer and Beckett, as well as Dr. Weir stating as much. And it also states – and I’ll reiterate it now for you morons – I don’t care about getting my old positions back, I just want some lab space on Atlantis and a reasonable amount of freedom to do what I want. Now give me the damn paperwork to sign so I can prove that I’m really me and I’m really still alive so we can get this over with.”

“As much as we would like to do that, Dr. McKay,” Woolsey interjected, “we are still concerned with the more recent events on Lapras and the future effects that they might cause.”

“If you’re worried that we’ve tampered too much, I really wouldn’t. To begin with, let me make sure it’s abundantly clear that I was the one who had been approached for help. I hadn’t been in contact with the Laprans after I had left. And, yes, we did introduce some radical thinking into the mix to allow the Laprans to deal with the Korsans, but I can assure you that there’s nothing to worry about there. The Laprans are deeply pacifistic, and I doubt these ‘recent events’ will do much in the way of changing that – aside from thinning the bubble they’re living in. And, for the time being, the Korsans’ survival is dependent on them playing nice. They won’t do anything irrational to mess that up. And we did it with a minimal amount of bloodshed, no lives lost, and less talking than you’d expect.”

“What are your feelings on this, Dr. Weir?” Woolsey asked her.

“I think Rodney handled himself admirably in that situation and should be commended for ending generations’ worth of abuses that the Korsans forced the Laprans to endure and doing it such a way that honored and respected the Laprans’ traditions and culture,” she replied easily.

“Please give us a few minutes to confer and I believe we’ll be finished,” Woolsey replied as he stood and the rest of the IOA followed suit.

Rodney sighed once they had disappeared into an adjoining room and shut the door. “I don’t see what’s so bad about this. I don’t think Daniel Jackson’s ever had this much trouble coming back from the dead and he’s ascended numerous times!”

“It’ll work out, Rodney,” Carson told him. “It always does.”

“Besides, what can they do to you?” John added with an amused smirk. “Send you back to Area 51?”

“Don’t you dare joke about that!” Rodney glared at him.

They sat in silence as they waited for the IOA to finish its deliberations and Rodney tried not to think about the suddenly very real possibility that the IOA would figure out a way to keep him Earth-bound.

When the IOA delegation came back, Woolsey placed a pile of papers next to Rodney along with a pen before saying, “We’ve concluded that it would be in everyone’s best interest if we didn’t beleaguer this point and that we simply took your word for it. Please read over these documents and then sign them in the marked spots and you’ll be all set.”

Rodney did as he was told and happily noted that the documents detailed that he hadn’t been dead – only MIA – that he was to be returned to active duty on Atlantis, that the current status quo would be maintained and that whatever restrictions or freedoms placed on Rodney would be done as Dr. Weir and the current CSO saw fit. Rodney signed all of the papers with a flourish before handing them back to Woolsey with a grin.

Woolsey nodded as he placed them in his briefcase as the rest of the IOA filed out of the conference room. “Now, I’ve been instructed to inform you all that the promotion ceremony is to be this evening at five-thirty with a small reception to follow so that some of the brass and the press can meet all of you. It’s going to be at the National Air and Space Museum. I believe they thought it would be picturesque and rather apropos.” He rolled his eyes slightly. “So I will see you all there.”

“Is it really only noon?” Chuck asked as they exited the building.

“The IOA is extremely proficient when they decide to be,” Elizabeth replied as she and John both put on a pair of sunglasses. She looked at the rest of their motley group. “I guess we should go back to the hotel and put on some more appropriate attire. I know a wonderful deli where we can get some sandwiches.”

“No, I think it has more to do with the fact that they only have one dress uniform and that they can’t get it dirty before the ceremony without good reason,” Carson replied with a sigh as he adjusted his tie in the bathroom mirror. “And, sadly, none of our activities would be considered good reason.”

Rodney lay back on the bed next to Chuck with a huff. “Just remember, gentlemen, that once this is all over this evening, we’ll be able to have our wicked ways with them.”

“With who?” John asked with a grin as he and came through the connecting door. “Anyone we know?”

Rodney raised his head enough to see John leaning against the inner doorway, wearing his dress blues and holding his hat in his hand. He heard Carson’s intake of breath and had to agree that John looked good. Before he could reply, Evan joined John at the door and mimicked his pose on the other side. Rodney licked his lips as he focused on Evan and wondered if he had enough time for a cold shower.

“Well we were thinking of picking up a couple of airmen, but you’ll do,” Chuck told them as he got off the bed. He patted John on the chest as John passed him for Carson, before zeroing in on Evan and pulling him into a passionate kiss. “You’ll definitely do.”

Rodney thumped his head back against the bed a few times as he realized there wasn’t enough cold water in the universe to deal with his arousal and that he was going to have to go through the ceremony with a hard-on. The universe was out to get him. He sighed and got up to join them.

“Okay?” Evan asked him softly as he straightened Rodney’s tie.

“Oh, just peachy,” Rodney replied before accepting a kiss first from Evan, then from Chuck. “Just wishing we had a little more time before we go.”

At that, there was a knock on the door. “It’s time to go, gentlemen,” Elizabeth called. “The car’s waiting downstairs.”

During the ceremony, Rodney laughed inwardly at the irony of John’s promotion. The last one had been forced by Elizabeth to ensure his position. This time, the Air Force was actually awarding it of its own will. He couldn’t help but beam proudly as he watched General O’Neill pin the symbols of their new ranks on his lover and one of his best friends, as well as award them with a couple more service awards.

Afterwards, Rodney mingled along with the rest of the Atlanteans and did his best to be his most charming and likeable. He shook hands and took pictures – both alone and with a myriad of people – and answered questions about what it was like to be working with aliens, and on alien technology, and all sorts of alien things and it was starting to wear his patience.

“Have you seen John?” Carson quietly asked him after they had a picture taken together. “I haven’t seen him for quite a while and I’m worried about him.”

Rodney scanned the crowd, but couldn’t see the Colonel, or even his spiky hair, among the groupings of people. “Not recently, no,” he replied just as quietly. “And I’m thinking it’s been longer than a trip to the bathroom if you’re asking me.” A little louder, he announced, “I think I think I’m going to get a breath of air.”

They both nodded and Rodney headed out of the reception room. He knew John couldn’t have gone far – he felt as much at odds as the rest of them did on Earth. He searched the exhibits in the museum and finally found John on the second floor, leaning against the railing and staring blankly at the spaceships.

“Carson’s worried about you,” Rodney told him quietly as he joined him.

“And you’re not?” John asked without looking at him.

“I’ve seen you in action more than he has.”

They were quiet for a while before John said, “You know, I never expected this. I joined the Air Force so I could fly and get away from home, but I never wanted this. Didn’t want a command, didn’t want the rank.” He shook his head. “Just wanted to fly.”

“Do you regret going to Atlantis?” Rodney asked after a beat.

“Best coin toss I ever made,” John replied with a grin. “It’s just overwhelming – that what happens here affects there.”

“Worried about Carson?”

“A little? Maybe? I know I shouldn’t be, but I do. What are you guys doing for your leave?” John asked, deflecting the conversation.

Rodney shrugged, letting John take control. “Visit Jeannie and her family, of course. I’m sure she’s going to kill me for not keeping in touch again aside from the phone call when we got Earth-side. But I deserve it – I didn’t know what to say.”

John colored slightly. “I’ve emailed with her a few times while you were gone and then after you got back to let her know what was going on. I think you’ll be okay.”

“No wonder she didn’t bite my head off over the phone. Thank you for that. And I think we’re going to visit Chuck and Evan’s families too. After that,” Rodney shrugged.

“Elizabeth’s got her whole time booked. And I know Carson and I won’t want to spend the whole time with his family. The five of us should go do something.”

Rodney nodded. “We’ll have to talk it over with them, though.” He glanced over to see Elizabeth coming towards them from the other side and sighed. “I think we’re needed back, though.”